Reclamation
by JaydeeGrey
Summary: Sequel to "Reduced to Specimens." With an empty memory and a critically-injured Zack in tow, Cloud sets off in search of aid, and answers.
1. Prologue

_Hi everyone! New readers or faithful readers of 'Reduced to Specimens' and 'Dreams Incarnate.' This is actually just a prologue to start the sequel to RtS off. First chapter is not quite ready so I thought I'd give you this to have a look at for now. It's just a short piece. If you read the note I posted at the end of RtS then you know roughly what this story is going to be about. For those of you who have not read 'Reduced to Specimens,' it is not necessary that you read it before reading 'Reclamation.' I'm writing it in a way that no knowledge of RtS is needed to understand the plot of this story. But of course it wouldn't hurt to read it through if you're interested haha! _

_In terms of what this story is about, it centers around Zack and Cloud's life after escaping experimentation under Hojo in the Shinra Mansion. Yes, Zack is alive in this fic. Which on it's own changes a lot. Which brings me to the next thing. This story will also be quite AU-like. As I explained at the end of RtS, it will cover roughly a year's worth of time before the events of the original FFVII game. Regarding the relationship status between Zack and Cloud, this is a friendship fic. And it will remain as such throughout. I appologize to those of you who prefer yaoi but know that I really do appreciate you reading this despite that. Also, if you're familiar with my fiction then you know I write some pretty depressing and at times gross or horrific stuff. While this story will contain nowhere near the amount of graphic material there was in RtS, it's still not going to be very pleasant at times, which is why I'm keeping this rated 'M.' _

_I believe that's about all I have to say, if you would like a few more details just pop over to the note I posted in 'Reduced to Specimens' after the final chapter. And of course if you have any questions, feel free to send me a message. Oh, and before I forget, I was asked to continue to post the songs that I listen to while writing the chapters and I've agreed to that so I'll list the songs as the beginning of each chapter. For this short prologue there shall be just one however and that is "Closer" by Kings of Leon. _

_That's all from me. Cheers guys and thanks for reading! _

Prologue

Once again the clouds were weeping in rage, expelling millions of drops of bitterly cold water toward the earth, masking the landscape in thick, wet curtains. There had been a brief lull in the onslaught but the giant masses of dark vapor regained their strength soon enough and began their next attack.

Cloud struggled to keep himself reasonably upright as he fought the urge to relieve himself of the weight bearing down on his shoulders and back, the source of the burden being his unconscious friend, Zack. In the back of his mind, Cloud was aware of the fact he was carrying someone who weighed more than he did. He wasn't sure how he'd been able to manage it and he wasn't interested in questioning it. His thoughts were focused on pushing himself forward, dragging and pulling his feet from the mud they'd sunk into over and over again and taking another step. And another. And another…

He pushed on, even though his muscles and joints were alive with fiery agony. Even though his body begged him to stop. He couldn't stop, for fear that he may not be able to move himself again once he had.

Uncertainty burned in him the way his muscles did. Burrowing away at him were those persistent questions. The ones that he was screaming inside himself. Questions that shouldn't have been difficult to answer. Questions about his identity. Questions about why he couldn't remember anything. Even himself. He knew of his name but beyond that, the only thing familiar to him was the friend he carried across the wasteland before him in search of aid. The rest of his knowledge seemed like mere shadows on a blank surface. Somewhere deep inside him, something was telling him that it was pertinent few people know of his and Zack's whereabouts. That thought was ominous to him and confusing but he didn't want to challenge it.

His right foot found a small hole in the ground below him as a bolt of lightning ripped through the sky and a burst of thunder crashed upon the area. His knee gave out and he fell forward onto the muddy surface, losing hold of Zack as his friend slipped from his shoulders and landed next to him. He lay for a moment in the cold muck, taking in deep, gasping breaths. He turned onto his back after a minute and opened his eyes a bit to stare up into the dark sky.

_Get up_, he urged himself. _You have to keep going_… He knew this.

And yet his body wouldn't move.

"Please," he whispered as he blinked once when a few raindrops landed in his right eye. "Lend me some strength…" he begged.

The sky shuddered with thunder once again as he forced himself to turn over and pull himself to his hands and knees. He leaned over Zack and placed two fingers on his neck to check his pulse. It was a miracle he'd survived that long without bleeding out. Zack was doing his part in fighting to live. It was up to Cloud to figure out the rest.

Groaning deeply, he grabbed onto Zack's body and hoisted him up slowly, spending a long few moments trying to get his friend back up onto his shoulders. He stayed slightly hunched over as he began to rise from his knees, Zack resting across his upper back. An involuntary cry left Cloud's mouth as he felt every muscle in his body straining itself to the tearing point. Once standing, it took whatever reserves of energy he had deep inside him to make himself move forward.

Once in motion, he felt his body begin to go slightly numb once again. He welcomed it. He tried not to think of anything, to not dwell on any of his anxious wonderings. To not worry about where exactly he was going to get help for Zack. There would be a way. And Zack would be okay. And once he was awake again, he would make everything else okay as well…cause that's what Zack was good at…


	2. Chapter 1

Wow, can't tell you guys how excited I am to have this out. Seems like a lot of you guys are excited as well so that's awesome! I'm so happy to have you all reading along. Having your feedback has definitely made me more motivated to write. So thank you all! Hope you all enjoy the first chapter of the sequel!

I'm only going to state once that I do not own the original plots and characters of FFVII. So...I don't. In case you were wondering haha!

For all those interested in the music for this chapter here it be:

1. The Little Things Give You Away – Linking Park

2. Angels & Saints – Neverending White Lights

3. Well Worn Hand – The Editors

I've created an account on Youtube so I can create a playlist for this story, for those who wish to hear it. You can go here: www . youtube . com / JaydeeGrey . Without spaces of course. Just look for the playlist 'Reclamation.' The songs will be in the order I've listed them in the chapters. And if you're interested you can check out my random playlist, though there's not much in there right now because I've just started adding things. Of course not every song I list in the chapters will be available on Youtube so if you don't have them already and can't find them on the net and still want to hear them then just let me know and I'll seek them out for you ^^

Cheers guys.

Chapter I

It was about a quarter past nine when Jacob Whymer heard what sounded like soft pounding at the front door to his small log home. He wasn't sure he'd even heard it at first. Thunderstorms had been rolling in and out since late afternoon. Even now, the rain was pouring furiously, beating against the roof and windows mercilessly. His doubts were expelled however when the pounding started again, louder this time. Rising from the couch he crossed the room slowly, trying to imagine who would be at his door at that time of night. Clicking the lock open, he twisted the knob and pulled the wooden door open, just slightly, enough that he was able to catch a glimpse of a surprising sight. He pulled the door open wider and laid eyes upon two young men, one carrying the other, both of them drenched in rainwater and diluted blood. The one being carried appeared critically injured and unconscious while the other displayed signs of clear exhaustion.

"Please," the one carrying the other spoke barely audibly. "My friend needs help," he added weakly. Jacob hesitated at first, not sure what he should do. The young men appeared to be SOLDIERs so why they had sought out his help and not called for help from their own seemed highly suspicious. But as the blond-haired boy with desperate bright blue eyes uttered an anxious "Please" once more, he knew there was no way in hell he could turn them away.

"Come in," he said finally as he stepped aside to allow them access to his home. "Lay your friend down on the table," he instructed as he pointed to the old wooden dining room table across the room.

Cloud made his way to the table quickly, rolling Zack from his shoulders onto the tabletop. The release of the weight made him feel like he was rising from the ground. The pain in his aching muscles became more apparent then and suddenly he thought he may pass out. He placed his palms on the table to steady himself. It had been hours since he'd found Zack lying in his own blood after a lost fight with what he assumed had been a large number of military soldiers. He could tell from the sounds of the weapons used though he wasn't sure how he knew that. Zack had nearly died on the cliffs where the battle had taken place and each moment that he didn't receive help was another moment he drew closer to death.

Cloud had spent the first few hours dragging Zack down the cliff side. He was too weak to do anything else and he wasn't entirely sure why. He'd woken in a spot Zack had left him, feeling like he'd been asleep for months. For all he knew that was the truth. Only after some time did he gain enough strength to be able to carry his friend. It was a painful struggle, and the weather hadn't helped. Storms came and went so quickly, drenching them before disappearing. Fortunately, Zack's wounds had clotted well or he would have bled to death by now. Still, Cloud had stopped every twenty-five minutes or so to make sure his friend was still breathing. That had also slowed him down. Now, at least, they were out of the rain.

"What happened?" Jacob questioned as he approached Cloud.

"He's been shot," Cloud began to explain, pulling the wet strands of his hair from his face. "Most of the bullets went straight through but there's three or four still lodged in his body." He drew in some deep inhales, trying to steady his breathing.

"Is there a war going on the citizens of Midgar don't know about?" Jacob inquired as he removed Zack's shoulder armor and used a pair of scissors to cut open what was left of his shirt. Cloud didn't answer as he watched the man inspect Zack's injuries. "Your friend here is in bad shape," the man pointed out, despite how obvious the claim was. "I'm afraid the extent of the damage may be too great for a man of my means to fix. You're going to need better medical assistance than I can provide." With that said, he headed toward a phone lying nearby.

"No!" Cloud protested quickly, stepping away from the table. "No one can know of us!" Jacob paused with the receiver in his hand, eying Cloud curiously.

"I'm sorry, but if you want to help your friend—" he went on as he began dialing a number. Out of sheer reflex and panic, Cloud drew Zack's sword from its sheath on his back.

"Stop!" he commanded as he held the blade out ahead of him, a few inches from the now fearful man.

"Father?" a soft voice spoke from somewhere nearby. Cloud turned his head to see a girl about fourteen or fifteen standing in the doorway leading to a hallway. The half-asleep expression in her face fell from her as she took note of Cloud threatening her father with a weapon. "Wh-what's going on?" she questioned nervously, her eyes travelling back and forth from Cloud to her father.

"It's fine, Andrea," Jacob tried to assure her in a level tone.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" she asked with anger now evident in her voice.

"The boy and his friend are in need of aid," he responded calmly. The girl's sight fell on Zack then before returning to Cloud.

"Well what are you doing _here _then?" she retorted, directing her words at him. "Why don't you go to a hospital instead of standing here threatening my father?"

"We can't go to a hospital," Cloud replied then, the sword in his hand still poised. "I told you, no one can know of us," he added as he turned back to Jacob.

"What are you? Fugitives?" the young woman blurted.

Cloud ignored her. "Please. We don't mean to harm you but there's no where else for us to go. He needs help right now or he won't survive."

"It's a little hard to feel sorry for you when you have a deadly weapon aimed at the one you're asking for help," Andrea pointed out.

Cloud lowered Zack's sword reluctantly. "I'm not going to force you to help us. If you can't or won't, then…we'll go," he spoke sadly as he returned the sword to its sheath and took hold of one of Zack's arms, preparing himself to lift him onto his shoulders once again.

"Wait," Jacob stopped him, placing a hand on Cloud's left arm. Cloud had to try not to pull away instinctively. "Andi, boil some water," he said to his daughter then. "I'm going to need your help." The girl stood her ground in the doorway. "Please," Jacob urged and finally she moved across the room into what was presumably the kitchen.

"What's your friend's name?" the man asked. Cloud only looked at him without answering. The man sighed. "My name's Jacob. My daughter's name is Andrea. What's your friend's name?"

"It's better if you don't know," Cloud replied firmly, looking over at Zack.

"It actually may help. He may respond to his name if nothing else," the man pointed out.

Cloud exhaled forcefully. He seriously doubted Zack was going to wake for anything right now. Glancing across the room, he noticed an old coffee can on the one window sill with a small plant growing out of it. Printed on it was the brand name _Wesley's Choice_.

"Wes," he said then, focusing again on Zack. When Jacob said nothing he let his eyes rise again to the man.

"And yours?" the man questioned.

"Mine's not important," Cloud said, shaking his head a little.

"What should I call you then?" the man said with a scoff as he departed into the room his daughter had come and returned with some towels.

"Whatever you want," Cloud said quietly, placing his one hand on his head. He gripped the edge of the table with his other one and shut his eyes as a wave of weakness went through him, making his legs shake a little.

"Come, sit down," Jacob ordered, pulling one of the chairs out from the table and pushing Cloud into it gently. He handed him one of the towels to dry some of himself off with. Cloud felt a little better when he was sitting down. "Are you injured anywhere at all?" the man asked as he looked over Cloud's blood-stained clothing. It was all Zack's.

"No," Cloud replied definitively, feeling a little uncomfortable being looked over. Jacob moved across the room, opening a cabinet and taking out a black case. He opened it to reveal a set of sewing needles and thread. Cloud watched him as he left the room and went into one of the adjoining ones. He returned a few moments later with a pair of long nose pliers and a bottle of something. He crouched in front of the fireplace nearby and opened the bottle before pouring some of the liquid over the prongs of the pliers.

"What is that?" Cloud questioned as he observed.

"Alcohol. For sterilization," Jacob explained as he held the tool to the fire, allowing the flames to lap over it. He set the pliers down on a hand towel he'd unfolded onto the table next to Zack "How long, Andi?" he called out.

"Almost ready," his daughter called back.

"Bring an empty bowl out with you when it's finished," he ordered before disappearing again. Cloud could hear a tap running then. He took in a long breath slowly, pulling the towel he'd been given around his shoulders as he felt himself starting to shiver. Jacob returned to the room again, his hands glistening wet from having washed them. He patted them dry on one of the clean towels resting on a chair pulled out from the table. His daughter entered the room then holding a small pot in one hand and an empty bowl in the other.

"Good, just set them down on the table," Jacob instructed and she did so, placing them next to Zack's left side. There wasn't very much room for Jacob to work. Zack's body took up much of the table top. Jacob was working on sterilizing one of the sewing needles. He used a match after the alcohol, instead of attempting to hold it into the fire. "Hand me one of the small towels," he said to his daughter as he set the needle down. She passed him one of the towels and he dipped it into the hot water she'd brought out from the kitchen. He began wiping away the blood and dirt on Zack's chest, trying to get a clearer look at the wounds.

The blood was thick and caked around the bullet holes. When Jacob began to remove it, fresh blood rose to the surface, running over Zack's chest. "I need a light," the man said aloud but his daughter stood where she was. "Andrea!" he called her name impatiently and she tore out of her semi-trance, leaving the room quickly and returning with a flashlight. She held it over the first wound as her father used the pliers to open it a little wider. He frowned deeply before removing the tool and setting it down.

"What is it?" Cloud asked quickly, fearing the man was about to give up already.

"Nothing," Jacob responded softly. "It's just...there's so little damage for a bullet wound. His tissue is doing a remarkable job at repairing itself…anyway," he said as he shook his head lightly "I can't tell how many of the wounds still have bullets in them. I need to see his back."

Cloud rose from the chair he was seated and helped Jacob turn Zack over so he could see what he needed to. The man counted the exit wounds.

"Six," he said aloud. "And one extra. In his shoulder. You were right, most of the bullets did pass straight through. There's just one in his chest," he noted as he and Cloud turned him back over. "Here," he pointed to a wound in the center of Zack's chest. "Let's deal with that first."

Once he'd cleaned away the built-up blood over the wound he used the pliers to dig into the small hole. "There it is," Jacob remarked. "It's not in very deep at all. It's lodged in his sternum. Unbelievable. That shouldn't have happened."

"What do you mean," Cloud asked a little uneasily.

"Well the sternum isn't that—" he paused as he gripped the bullet with the pliers and pulled. The bullet came free of Zack's body finally. "—isn't that strong," Jacob went on. "The bullet should have just fractured it and continued on through." He looked at Cloud with what seemed like a hint of expectation. As if Cloud was going to be able to provide the answer to the medical mystery. He just shrugged slightly and the man went back to what he was doing, dropping the bullet in the empty bowl his daughter had brought out from the kitchen. He set down the pliers and reached for the bottle of alcohol. He poured a small amount into the wound before continuing to swab the area with the towel dipped in hot water. "I don't have any antibiotics to prevent infection," he explained to Cloud. "You should know that infection is highly likely," he added.

Cloud nodded in understanding though he was more concerned with having Zack sewn up and his bleeding stopped than he was with infection. He'd cross that bridge when he came to it. He watched as the man poured more alcohol on the thread he was preparing to use as suture material. He glanced then at the man's daughter to see her looking a little on the pale side. She allowed the flashlight's orb to slide away from the wound site and Jacob spoke to her without looking up from the needle he was threading.

"Alright, Andi?" he questioned.

"Uh huh," she muttered quietly. Cloud moved next to her, reaching for the flashlight.

"I got it," he said and she forfeited it to him, looking up at him briefly before turning and heading to the couch across the room.

"She's never seen anything like this before," Jacob said quietly as he pushed the needle into Zack's skin.

"You have?" Cloud replied and the man released a dry laugh.

"I've seen a lot worse," he answered.

"When?" Cloud inquired.

"I grew up during the Tsubian Wars. There were battles practically every day in my backyard. My mother and father used to care for injured soldiers that had been left behind after the fights. I'd like to think it's become more civilized in battle…well…I suppose you'd know the truth," he commented. Cloud wasn't sure what he meant. How would he know the truth? Further, he didn't even know what the Tsubian Wars were. But he could imagine some of the things that Jacob may have seen. The man was silent then as he worked on closing the first of Zack's wounds. It was going to take several hours to get all of the wounds sewn shut on both his chest and back. It would be a long night.

000

Tseng paced slowly in front of his living room window as he held his phone to his ear. He had just received an anxiously-awaited call from one of his men, Reno.

"We had to suspend the search. The goddamn rain has washed out any traces of a trail to follow," Reno explained, his voice breaking up a little with the static on the line.

Tseng sighed in frustration. "But you're sure about the evidence found at cliffs?" he asked.

"Yeah. Like I said, there were distinct drag marks leading down into the valley. At least one of them was alive after the little militia bitches took off, and he was dragging the other. Cissnei seems to believe it was Fair dragging the baby boy around. Since the kid was pretty out of it when she last saw them. Me and Rude got our own opinions about that."

"You think it was the other way around?" Tseng paused mid-pace.

"Fair's big enough to carry that little stick boy around without having to drag him," Reno theorized.

"Unless Zack was injured. Maybe he was incapable of carrying Cloud," Tseng retorted. Reno was quiet. "Alright, speculation at this time is pointless. You said you collected samples at the incident site?"

"True dat. Picked up three blood samples. They were diluted but should still be good to analyze. Cissnei took them out of the city to have them looked at."

"Good. You and Rude are relieved for now. We'll resume the search in the morning. No matter who was dragging who, they still can't have gotten very far."

"You got it, boss," Reno said and Tseng flipped his cell phone shut.

000

"All the shots were to his upper body?" Jacob asked Cloud as he was sewing closed the final wound in Zack's shoulder. He'd removed the bullet from it minutes before.

"I'm not sure. I think so," Cloud said hesitantly, trying to keep his arm from shaking as he was holding the flashlight over Zack's shoulder. He had been exhausted when he'd first arrived at the house nearly four hours earlier. Now he didn't know what he was. Something wasn't right with him. He knew that much. Andrea returned from where she'd been in a room just off the kitchen washing out the bloody towels that had accumulated during the long procedure on Zack. She handed her father one of the rinsed out towels.

"Well, we better make sure," Jacob said as he set down his sewing needle. Cloud handed the flashlight to Andrea so he could help get Zack's boots and pants off. "There," the man said as he pulled the band of Zack's boxers downward and inspected a spot on his hip. One final bullet wound to deal with. "That looks to be it." He reached for the damp towel. Cloud motioned to take the flashlight back from his daughter.

"No, that's alright," she said as she withheld the object and kept the light on Zack's hip. Jacob looked back at her to see her eyes focused on Zack's partially exposed pelvis.

"Andrea, go boil some more water," he ordered with a frown.

"You have water here," she pointed out.

"Go boil more. For tea," he said sternly and she rolled her eyes, handing the flashlight back to Cloud and heading for the kitchen. Jacob shook his head as she left the room. He spoke without looking up as he began to dig the final bullet from Zack's hip bone. "Something I'll never get used to," he muttered.

"What is?" Cloud inquired.

"The thought that she's going to one day leave me for a young man to begin her own family. Won't be long now."

"She's your only child?" Cloud questioned and the man nodded.

"It's going to be lonely when she does decide to leave me," the man said sadly as he prepared the needle once more with thread.

"You don't think she'll visit?"

Jacob looked up at him. "Of course, but…well when was the last time you visited _your_ mother or father?" he asked.

Cloud couldn't answer that. He had absolutely no idea. He had no idea who they were or where to look for them for that matter. Jacob seemed to take his silence to prove his point that Cloud hadn't visited his parents in a long while. Cloud wondered then if he should have just said he didn't know where they were and that he would visit them if he knew. Though he wasn't sure he would. They would be expecting him to know them after all. It would be awkward.

"Okay," Jacob said with a sigh as he finished stitching Zack's last bullet wound closed. "I'm going to put a few stitches in his forehead and back to close up the serious cuts. Everything else can be bandaged. In the meantime, you can use the shower to get cleaned up. The bathroom is just around the corner on the right. There should be some clean towels in there. If we have any left."

Cloud hesitated in moving. He didn't like the thought of being out of the room and away from Zack, even though something in him was telling him it was alright to trust Jacob. He preferred to be cautious.

"Go on," Jacob urged. "You'll feel better after. There'll be some clothes you can change into in the room straight across the hall when you're finished. Cloud complied reluctantly, looking back at Zack once before making his way into the bathroom. He shut the door slowly and began to peel off the dirty clothing clinging to him. He looked down at it where it lay on the floor. _SOLDIER_. The name shot up in his head like a red flag. It was a SOLDIER uniform. Zack had been wearing one too. They were SOLDIERs? He didn't know what that meant. He wished he could remember more but that's the only bit of information he gained at that moment. As he stood in his boxers, his eyes wandered to the circular metal pieces in his arms and chest. They were a bit of a mystery to him as well. He had feelings when looking at them. But only feelings. Anxiety, pain, sickness. He tore his eyes from them again, not wanting to ever look at them again if they were going to evoke such things in him. He turned on the shower and removed his boxers before stepping into the tub. He adjusted the temperature until it was steaming hot. Almost too hot as it stung his bare flesh.

He stood unmoving for a few minutes, his palms against the tile in front of him as he leaned forward, hanging his head down and letting the water beat down on his shoulders and back. They were sore and bruised from carrying Zack. Slowly, he began rubbing and scratching away at the dried blood on his arms and neck. He ran his hands through his hair and watched as the water trailing down his body and onto the bottom of the tub changed color before running into the drain. He breathed in the steamy air deeply, expelling as much tension from his body as possible with his exhales.

He grabbed for a bar of soap and began cleaning himself off more thoroughly. He ran his hands over his skin slowly, feeling every raised mark and scar. Some of them were surgical. Some weren't. He wasn't able to imagine what had caused the amount of scarring he had on his hands. Looking at them made him feel nauseated. He hated all of what he was feeling. Hated the way his own body was striking in him feelings of sickness and anxiety. He was suddenly aware then that he couldn't even remember what his face looked like.

As he stood in front of the fogged-up mirror over the sink after he'd gotten out of the shower and wrapped a towel round himself, all he could do at first was stare at the fuzzy silhouette visible beneath the condensation. He was afraid of what he'd see when the little droplets of water were wiped away. Steadying himself with one hand on the edge of the sink, he placed his other hand on the glass and began to move it slowly across the surface, feeling the water gathering under his palm before running down the mirror in lines. He wasn't expecting what stared back at him. He almost expected to see something ugly. He certainly wasn't expecting to look as young as he did. He felt older. Much older. He wondered then how old he actually was. Zack would have to know. He turned his head slightly from side to side, as if making sure it was really his reflection he was looking at. He leaned in closer after a moment to get a closer look at his eyes. They seemed unreal. Light but deep, a dim ring of green circling each iris. They seemed familiar but not because they were his own. They reminded him of someone else…he just didn't know who.

Tearing himself away from his reflection, he left the bathroom and entered what he assumed was Jacob's bedroom. Just as the man had said, there were some clothes lying out for him. They were slightly big for him but he dealt with it. He was happy to have longer sleeves that would cover the metal disks in his arms. Once set, he held onto his discarded uniform and headed back out to the main room. Jacob and Andrea looked up at him from the couch.

"Imagine that," Jacob said with a smile. "There was a boy under all that dirt." His daughter stood up and moved toward him, taking his uniform from him.

"They're both going to be ruined," she said. "Yours and your friend's," she added.

"She's right," Jacob spoke up before taking a sip of tea from the cup he held. "But you can keep the clothes you're wearing now. I'll have something for your friend if he wakes up."

"If?" Cloud echoed, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"The blood loss may have put him into a coma but if he wakes within the next twenty-four hours we'll know that's not the case. And as I said before, an infection is likely so that may cause some problems for him. We'll have to keep an eye on him. If his wounds do become infected there's only one option for you if you want him to live. You're going to need to have a doctor see him."

Andrea left the room then. Jacob waited until he heard a door swinging shut, indicating she was out in the laundry room before rising and moving over to the table where Cloud had taken a seat next to Zack.

"Tea?" the man offered as he held out a tea cup. Cloud stared at the cup as if it were a foreign object.

"No," he said bluntly, adding in a softer tone "Thank you," as the man turned away. Jacob set the cup down on the small coffee table in front of the couch before turning to look at Cloud again. Cloud could see he had something to say.

"His name's not Wes," the man said suddenly, nodding his head at Zack. It wasn't a question.

"Yes it is," Cloud argued.

"I highly doubt it. You looked over at the coffee can on the window sill before giving the name."

Cloud averted his eyes. He wasn't about to reveal Zack's real name now or anytime.

"It's fine," Jacob said then, drawing a suspicious look from Cloud. "I won't push you for your real names. Just know that I'm not easily fooled."

Cloud made a mental note.

Not long after that, Jacob and his daughter went to their rooms, leaving Cloud and Zack in the main room. By the flickering light of the fire, Cloud watched Zack as he rested. He was so still, even his chest barely moved as he breathed. It made Cloud nervous. He kept imagining the worst. Memories of his momentary passing were fresh in Cloud's mind. Yes, Zack had died, for merely a few minutes, but for those few minutes he was really gone. Cloud didn't know what he would have done if his resuscitative efforts had failed.

He knew it was selfish of him but he wanted Zack to be awake so he could ask him questions. He had so many. The confusion muddling his mind made him anxious. He remembered next to nothing about what had happened up to the point he'd woken on the cliffs. If Zack didn't pull through he didn't know who he would turn to for help in filling in the blanks.

It was around four in the morning when Cloud finally fell asleep at the table next to his friend. A few hours later Zack woke, still in a haze of exhaustion and pain. He had no trouble recalling what had happened before he'd lost consciousness on the cliffs. In fact, it seemed like it had happened only minutes ago. The Shinra Militia had hunted them down. He'd been ridiculously outnumbered. He thought he'd won the fight…but then. He could almost feel all over again what it was like to have several bullets shredding through him. It was quiet then. He'd been left for dead by the soldiers. Time had slowed down. Every minute he lay bleeding had felt like an hour. He'd welcomed death, asked for it because the fight that had been going on for four years would finally be over…but Cloud. Cloud…

He turned his head slowly to see Cloud sitting at the table he was lying on. His forearms were resting on the edge and his head on top of them. _Where are we?_ Zack wondered as he looked around the room. Slowly, he reached his right hand out and placed it on Cloud's head. His friend started almost instantly, raising his head fast. Zack's hand fell back to the table.

"Spike," he spoke barely above a cracked whisper. Yet there was so much relief in the tone of that one spoken word. Cloud really was awake. Zack thought he'd dreamed it.

"Zack!" Cloud said in slight surprise and his own relief-shrouded tone.

"It's good to see you awake again, buddy," Zack spoke again, his voice still sounding strained.

"Could say the same about you," Cloud replied quietly. Zack hissed in a pained breath and Cloud leaned closer. "You need me to get you something?" he spoke quickly. "Jacob should know you're awake." He rose then from the chair but Zack stopped him.

"No," he protested weakly, reaching out a hand to grab Cloud but missing. Cloud stopped anyway. "I just…want to chill with you for a bit, okay?"

"Okay," Cloud agreed as he lowered himself back into the chair behind him.

"Where are we?" Zack questioned after a moment.

"A house just outside of the city. I think. It was dark and raining when we got here," Cloud explained softly.

"What about the people living here. What did you tell them?"

"Nothing," Cloud admitted truthfully. "The man who lives here agreed to help anyway."

"Good," Zack said before closing his eyes and letting out a long exhale. Cloud thought after a few moments that he'd drifted off. He was about to rise from the chair again to wake Jacob when Zack spoke.

"How are you feeling, buddy?" he asked with his eyes still closed.

"Fine," Cloud lied. He was sick. He'd realized that hours earlier. And it had been getting worse. He alternated between feeling hot and freezing though he sweat no matter what he felt and his muscles had been feeling strange. They were sore from carrying Zack but there was something else. He couldn't put his finger on it.

"Yeah…sure," Zack said skeptically. He knew Cloud still had the mako poisoning, even if he was awake now. "I'm so happy to have you back, kid," he said as he opened his eyes to look at his friend.

"Back?" Cloud repeated softly, studying his friend's face as his brow furrowed and he winced before nodding slightly. Zack raised his one knee before straightening his leg once again. He was longer than the table, the edge resting under the middle of his calves. "Back from where?" Cloud asked. Zack opened his eyes and looked at him tiredly but with slight confusion.

Cloud revealed then what was either the worst or the best news Zack could think of.

"I don't remember anything before waking up on the cliffs."

He wasn't sure right then if it was a good thing or a bad one. Either way, when Cloud uttered the statement, Zack's lips parted slightly in shock while he struggled with some form of reply.


	3. Chapter 2

_Hey everyone! I gotta say, I'm pretty blown away by the interest in this story already as it's only just begun! I was checkin' out the stats and this story has recieved almost as many visitors as "Dreams Incarnate" and just under half the amount of hits. I've only posted one chapter! Haha! So thank you all for showing interest in this story. I'm excited to see it progress. On that note, however, I have to apologize if this chapter seems a bit slow. It's one of those necessary transition ones. But the emotion and action are going to pick up fairly quickly. And the angst...oh the angst shall be coming haha! The songs for this chapter are listed below and you can find two of them on the playlist on Youtube. The third ("Tic Tac Toe") can be found on woodpigeon's myspace page. _

_Thanks again for reading and reviewing ya'll! _

_Cheers! _

_Songs: On an Island – David Gilmour; Finding Myself – Smile Empty Soul; Tic Tac Toe - woodpigeon_

Chapter II

"Nothing?" Zack spoke in disbelief. Cloud shook his head slowly. "You remember nothing?" he asked.

"No," Cloud confirmed. Zack stared at him a moment.

"_Nothing_?" he repeated.

"Well…" Cloud began softly, looking down at his hands resting in his lap.

"What?" Zack spoke promptly, urging him to continue.

"I think…I-I—" Cloud struggled with what he was trying to say.

"Yes, what do you remember?" Zack prodded. Cloud released a huffed exhale and shot Zack a glare. "Sorry," Zack said with a weak smile. Cloud's gaze softened.

"I don't _really _remember anything. I have…I dunno…feelings," he began to explain. "And I mean, I _know_ something happened to us. Something bad. And…whatever it was, it went on for…a long time. I think."

Cloud looked at Zack expectantly, waiting for him to say something. To confirm or deny that what he felt he knew was true.

_You can't not tell him the truth,_ Zack scolded himself. _Right? _Fortunately, he was able to avoid making the decision. He felt the constriction in his chest he'd been feeling grow tighter before he was struggling to keep from coughing, the movement sending shocks of pain through his body. Cloud departed momentarily, returning with a glass of water. He placed a hand under Zack's head, helping to raise it off the table so his friend could sip some of the water from the glass. Zack was able to hold back the urge to cough after a few moments. Cloud helped him lay his head down gently and set the glass down on the wooden seat of the chair next to him. Zack lay still a minute, his eyes closed as he waited for his body to relax itself and the tension to sink down again.

"Thanks, buddy," he mumbled, feeling suddenly ten times more tired than he had before. He drifted off without really meaning to. Cloud watched him, disappointed that he hadn't been able to talk to his friend longer, but relieved Zack had even been awake at all. He placed his arms on the table top and rested his head on them, turning so he could watch Zack's face. He watched his friend's features relax with the painlessness of sleep, returning to an appearance of peacefulness.

Things would be okay now. Zack would be on his feet in no time and they would be on their way to…somewhere. Midgar perhaps. It seemed to be where Zack was bringing them before he was injured. Cloud vaguely recognized the city. In the way he'd recognize something he'd read about in a book. He knew the name but had no clue about what was there.

_Guess I'll find out soon enough_, he told himself before closing his eyes and trying to absorb himself in the darkness filling his mind.

A few hours later, he was startled awake by a hand grasping his shoulder. He looked up fast, his breath hitching in his throat.

"Sorry," Jacob apologized softly and Cloud covered his eyes with his hand briefly, blocking out the light as he waited for his eyes to adjust and wake up.

"It's fine," he said as he sat back in the chair he'd been seated in the past several hours. He was shocked at the pain he got from the movement. Most of his lower body was numb from sitting in one position for hours at a time but the joints and muscles he _could_ feel were cramped and aching.

"You know, he wouldn't have gone anywhere, even if you had chosen to sleep on the couch," Jacob man pointed out, scratching at the bit of grayish stubble on his chin. When Cloud didn't respond he spoke again. "Are you feeling ill?" he questioned somewhat to Cloud's surprise. Cloud didn't think it was that obvious that he was feeling like crap. Worse than he had felt just hours ago.

"No, I'm fine," he lied, wiping some sweat from his forehead with his hand. Jacob looked at him skeptically before leaning a little closer to Zack.

"And how's your friend doing?" he asked as he lifted the gauze pad taped over one of the wounds to see if there were any signs of infection yet.

"He was awake," Cloud announced and the man looked at him in surprise.

"When?" he inquired.

"A few hours ago I guess," Cloud replied.

"For how long?"

Cloud shrugged. "Ten minutes maybe. He talked to me," he revealed.

"Did he say if there were parts of his body he had no feeling in? Arms or legs?" the man asked quickly.

"No," Cloud said, shaking his head. "He did move them on his own though."

"Good. That's good," Jacob said as he took a step back from the table. "He's recovering remarkably well it seems. Almost too good…" he added strangely and Cloud looked up at him.

"Guess he's just lucky," Cloud suggested as he stared hard at Jacob. _What exactly is he implying?_ Cloud wondered. He wished whatever it was the man would just say it.

"Well that's obvious," Jacob remarked. "Still, some antibacterial ointment will probably do his wounds some good."

"You have some?" Cloud asked.

"No, Andrea is bringing some from the city this afternoon," the man explained. Cloud looked at him fast to see if he was serious.

"Your daughter's not here?" he replied quickly. He couldn't believe he'd missed her leaving. He grew anxious immediately. She could be out telling the world about them. He and Zack couldn't stay.

"No, she has school," the man began, continuing promptly when he sensed Cloud's upcoming reaction. "I already talked with her this morning. She's not going to say anything about you or your friend."

"How do you know?" Cloud fired back at him

"She's my daughter. I trust her," the man claimed firmly.

"I don't," Cloud retorted, pushing himself to a stand with the aid of the table in front of him.

"Then trust _me_," Jacob urged. "I've helped you haven't I? I helped your friend all on my own despite it not being the easiest thing to do by far. I could have turned you away."

Cloud sighed. "I know, and I'm grateful. But we can't afford too many risks."

"Why not?" Jacob questioned, drawing a bit of a strange look from Cloud. He could see the boy was trying to figure out his reasons. "Who exactly are you running from?" Jacob pushed for an answer.

"I…" Cloud began, trying hard to put together the right words. "I don—" He stopped abruptly when Zack's hand moved next to his. His friend's fingers closing loosely around his one wrist. Cloud looked down at him, watching his eyes opening slowly.

"Spike," Zack breathed. "What's wrong?" Cloud wasn't sure if Zack had heard the conversation or if he just somehow sensed the tension and semi-anger he was feeling.

"Nothing," Cloud tried to assure him.

"You sure?" his friend questioned and Cloud nodded. As Zack spoke, Cloud was reminded of how weak his friend was. And as Cloud was discretely using the table to keep himself standing, he wondered just how far he'd get if he decided to leave the house with Zack in his care. Slowly, Zack turned his head on the table, meeting Jacob's gaze. Instantly, that mask of strength he'd been so good at hiding behind in the past came over him.

"You must be the doctor," Zack said with a smile as he released his hold on Cloud's wrist to reach out his hand to Jacob. "I'm Jason," Zack added when the man took his hand. Jacob looked at him with amusement as Cloud looked away, shaking his head.

"Just how many aliases does one young man need?" Jacob questioned and Zack looked back at him in slight confusion.

"I already gave you a fake name," Cloud muttered quietly to his friend.

"Oh," Zack responded with a soft and slightly nervous laugh.

"It's alright," Jacob said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I already told your friend here I don't need to know your real names. Or your fake ones. My name's Jacob. Can I get you anything?" he asked, switching topics.

"Uhh, a bathroom?" Zack answered. "And a shower if you got one in there. To say I got a little sand in my pants would be a bit of an understatement," he said lightly.

"Of course. Will you be able to stand alright on your own?"

"We'll find out," Zack replied as he looked at Cloud. "Help me out, buddy," he said as he reached out. Cloud took his hand and reached around to place his other hand under Zack's back, just below his shoulder blades. Slowly, Zack started to rise.

"Careful, don't tear the stitches," Jacob cautioned as he stepped in to lend a hand as well. Zack gasped a little as he bit back the cry seeking escape from his lips. Suddenly, sitting up seemed like the worst idea ever. It took a few moments that seemed to last an eternity. Finally, he made it up, pulling his legs in and starting to turn himself toward Cloud. He stopped then to rest, taking in deep breaths as he waited for the worst of the fiery agony in his torso to subside. He still held onto Cloud's hand tightly. Jacob departed momentarily, heading into the kitchen.

"Are you sure you want to try and get up right now?" Cloud asked uneasily.

"You kidding? My back was killing me from lying in one spot so long. Compared to that, this feels great," Zack said with a slightly forced smile, coughing a little as he hunched over a bit.

"Here," Jacob said as he returned to the room with a glass of water in one hand and something concealed in his other. He opened the hand to reveal two round white tablets. "Acetaminophen," he added. "It's all I have to offer in terms of pain relief."

Zack took the tablets from him slowly, almost seeming like he had to concentrate to make his fingers pick up the small circular bits. "Thank you," he said before placing them in his mouth and taking the glass of water the man offered. He set the half-empty glass on the table after a moment.

"We might as well take the bandaging off if you're going to shower," Jacob spoke up once again. Zack looked down at his torso.

"How many times was I shot?" he questioned without looking up.

"Nine times," Jacob revealed. Zack's eyes flew up immediately, checking to confirm he'd heard the man right. "You're extraordinarily lucky. You shouldn't have lived through that I don't think," Jacob went on briefly. Zack looked at Cloud then. His friend only met his eyes a short second before averting his gaze.

"Probably not," Zack agreed. He thought back on those long minutes after he'd been shot down on the cliffs outside of the city when Cloud had appeared next to him. He'd known he was going to die—or rather he _thought _he was. Everything in him was telling him so. There was that place in his memory that ended during those brief moments with his friend. Then there was nothing. Nothing until he woke up in Jacob's house earlier that morning. What had happened in between, he wasn't sure. He had his grim suspicions. He would confront Cloud about it later. He started to pull at the tape over one of the gauze pads. Cloud and Jacob helped to remove all the bandaging and dressings from his torso. His wounds needed redressed anyway so it was just as well the bandaging and gauze was being removed.

As Zack moved to the very edge of the table, Cloud tried his best to gather what reserves of strength he had in order to be able to help his friend. It was no surprise when Zack placed his feet on the floor and attempted to stand that his knees buckled under his own weight. Cloud had been ready. He grabbed onto Zack tightly and kept him from sinking to the floor. Zack hissed in a breath as he felt a surge of pain through his one leg. Cloud spoke before Zack could question it.

"You were shot in the hip," his friend explained.

"Right," Zack replied slowly. "I remember now," he added as he transferred most of his weight to his uninjured side. "Okay," he said as he felt sweat breaking out over his body from the small amount of exertion he'd made and all the pain that had come with it. "Let's go."

Cloud nodded, pulling Zack's one arm around his neck. It was an agonizingly slow walk to the bathroom. Once inside the small room, Cloud helped Zack lower himself onto the closed lid of the toilet so he could start the shower. Neither of them said anything yet both had questions they wished to ask. When the shower was running, Cloud turned to face Zack. His friend seemed to be lost in his thoughts, his eyes fixed on the tile across the floor. Cloud cleared his throat lightly and Zack blinked before looking up. His lips formed a small smile. He looked tired.

"Thanks, Spikey," he said softly.

"Will you…be alright on your own?" Cloud asked a little uneasily.

"Yeah, sure, no problem," he said a little brighter. Cloud nodded and turned to leave, glancing back once before closing the door behind him.

Left alone, it took a few long moments for Zack to work up the energy and nerve to move himself again. He gripped the sink and pulled himself to a stand slowly, removing his boxers with one hand. He pulled the taped piece of gauze from his hip and discarded it in the trash can. Turning toward the shower, he began those few steps that seemed like miles. He felt a little stronger and more energized when his body found its way into the shower head's line of fire, though it wasn't much. There was something unbelievably amazing about the feeling of that water running over him from head to toe. He hadn't had a _real_ shower since the day he and Cloud were taken from the reactor in Nibelheim and thrust into a world of containment. The water was soothing as it washed away the substances that had dirtied him on the outside. It did little to wash away anything else. All that had happened. He would have given almost anything to see all of it running down into that drain at his feet.

He closed his eyes as he turned his face to the spray, feeling it beating against his tired eyelids, washing away the pain that was manifesting itself into tears. He couldn't shake the crazy feeling that ran through him. He had to ask himself: _Am I disappointed to have survived? _

No. Not disappointed. He knew he was grateful. But he felt different. Like something had been lost on those cliffs. A piece of himself. Maybe not. It could have been lost anytime during the years he and Cloud were locked away in the Shinra Mansion's basement. Maybe it was only apparent now…

He needed to stop contemplating. It was going to drive him nuts. Whatever he was feeling, whatever darkness had fallen upon him, it would pass.

He shut off the water and spent a few minutes just standing in the shower, leaning against the tile. He let the air begin to dry his skin as he looked over the stitched wounds in his chest. He touched them tentatively. Jacob was no doubt right that he shouldn't have survived. There's no way every bullet had passed through him without causing damage to his internal organs. Or rather, it was highly unlikely. But whatever internal bleeding he may have had before, he didn't have it now. He doubted the man would have had anything to do with that. No. As much as he hated to admit it, it was Hojo's doing. His body had bonded well to the mako and enhancement drugs he'd been administered. Mako was known for having reinforcing and regenerating qualities but he'd never imagined it being able to do what it did for him.

Grabbing for a towel off the rack next to the shower, he wrapped the terrycloth tightly around his waist and stepped out onto the cool tile floor once again. He didn't waste a lot of time finishing up in the bathroom. His body was aching literally to be seated again. He opened the door to find Cloud waiting to hall, leaning against the one wall.

"There's some clothes in the room there," Cloud said as he motioned to the first room on the right. "Jacob wants to redress your wounds before you put on a shirt though," he added.

"Alright," Zack replied as he made his way into the room shakily. When he'd closed the door, Cloud went back out to the main room where he stood by the table a minute. The wooden top was stained with Zack's blood. Jacob was busy unhinging and opening up a roll-away cot next to the one end of the couch.

"I knew we had one of these somewhere," the man divulged. "I couldn't find it last night. Otherwise I would have brought it out sooner."

Cloud tore his eyes from the table to watch him as he was outfitting the cot with a set of sheets. "It's fine," he said after a moment. Jacob chuckled lightly and Cloud wondered why, though he didn't openly question it. The door to the bedroom across the hall opened and Zack emerged. He smiled when Jacob looked his way.

"Thanks for the shower and clothes," he said as he was approaching slowly, limping slightly. He held the shirt in his hand that had been left out for him.

"You're welcome," Jacob responded kindly. "Come sit down," he instructed as he patted the cot's mattress. Zack couldn't help but think of the cots back in the cell he and Cloud had shared when they'd been taken to the mansion. He stopped the frown that was making its way to his face as he stepped forward and sat on the edge of the mattress.

Jacob retrieved a roll of white bandage, some fresh gauze and tape from somewhere in the kitchen. He began ripping pieces of tape from its roll, sticking the pieces to his forearm so they'd be easily accessible.

"It's not necessary you go to all this trouble, sir," Zack spoke as Jacob began taping a fresh piece of gauze over one of the wounds on his chest. "Really, you did enough," Zack added.

"It's no trouble," Jacob assured him. He continued. "I know you both must be hungry. I'll get something together for lunch when I've finished here."

Cloud had no doubt Zack was hungry. His friend was always hungry. He remembered that much. He wasn't hungry himself. He was tired. His stomach was prodding him with a queasy feeling. His head ached persistently. When Jacob had finally left the room after the long re-dressing process on his friend, Zack looked up at Cloud.

"Hey," he spoke softly. "You don't look so good, buddy." Cloud said nothing. "Come sit down," Zack ordered, motioning for him to sit next to him. "You look kinda pale," he pointed out uneasily.

"I'm alright," Cloud mumbled back as he sat down.

Zack knew he wasn't okay. But he couldn't imagine saying anything about it either. What would he say? _Hey, actually, you have mako poisoning._ Yeah, that would go over real well and surely Cloud would have no questions about it at all. Yeah right. He focused on another aspect of Cloud he was able to read.

"You seem worried," he said hesitantly. It sounded stupid once he'd said it. He knew there were probably a ton of obvious things Cloud would be worried about. But Cloud's response wasn't quite what he'd been expecting.

"I'm worried we're not safe here," Cloud replied. Zack studied him closely. "I'm afraid Jacob's daughter might not be able to stay quiet while she's in the city. And the sad part about it is that I don't even know why I'm worried. I don't know who we're running from…just that we're running."

Zack thought about it. Even though Cloud didn't seem to be remembering much, his perceptions and feelings were right on.

"He has a daughter?" Zack said with smirk, trying to stealthily switch topics. Cloud looked at him seriously.

"She's young," his friend stated. "Well…youn_ger_." he corrected himself. Zack rolled his eyes. He wasn't actually interested. He wasn't interested in any girl outside of one at the moment. Which reminded him of something then…

"Hey, Spike," he spoke up again. "Did you happen to notice a necklace back up on the cliffs?" he questioned hesitantly, sure that it had in all likelihood been lost. "I think I had it in my hand after…" he trailed off. Thinking about those painful moments wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world.

"Oh," Cloud said after a second of thought. "Yeah," he answered. He remembered placing the piece of jewelry in his pocket before beginning the long trek into the valley. Hopefully it was still there. "Just a minute," he said before pulling himself to a stand and heading into the kitchen. He passed Jacob as he went towards the small room leading off the one end of the kitchen.

"Everything alright?" Jacob questioned and Cloud paused.

"Yeah. Our uniforms are out here, right?" he responded and Jacob nodded.

"They're in a garbage bag," the man answered while he continued to stir something in a pot.

Cloud entered the area that was essentially a laundry room and found a few garbage bags sitting next to the washing basin. He found the uniforms in the first bag. It took him a moment to sift through for the right pocket in the pants he'd been wearing but finally his fingers touched the thin chain. He pulled it from the pocked and looked over it. The chain and pendant were both a bit bloody. Nothing that wouldn't come off with a good cleaning. He reached it out for Zack to take when he re-entered the main room.

"Who's it for?" he questioned as he sat on the couch, adjacent from his friend.

"Aeris," Zack said with a smile. He only needed to look at Cloud to know that he didn't recognize the name. "You'll meet her soon hopefully," he added. As soon as he was physically ready, Zack had every intention of seeking out the girl he'd left behind four years ago.

After downing some soup that Jacob had prepared, Zack gave in to the fatigue that had been wrapping itself tightly around him the past few hours and finally lay down, accepting the sleep that was trying to claim him. He was dragged down into his dreams, every one of which would begin pleasant but would eventually twist into something dark and frightening. When he awoke later in the afternoon, he'd expected to find himself curled up on the grated floor in the small space of the testing cylinder in Hojo's lab. It took a moment for him to get his bearings back on where he actually was. He was startled slightly when he heard the front door to the house open. A girl with long auburn-colored hair entered. She met his eyes immediately.

"You're awake," she remarked in slight surprise.

"So are you," he joked as he struggled to pull himself up into a seated position. He settled for a slumped position against the wall, somewhere in between sitting and lying down. He made the assumption the girl was probably Jacob's daughter. She smiled a little bashfully before setting her school bag down on the floor by the doorway.

"My father didn't seem overly optimistic about you recovering quickly," she revealed. "Guess he was wrong."

"Guess so," Zack replied without looking at her. He had just noticed Cloud wasn't anywhere nearby. "You wouldn't happen to know where my friend is, would you?" he asked promptly.

"Yeah, he's outside," the girl answered. "He said he needed some fresh air."

Zack moved his legs over the side of the cot, gripping the edge of it as he forced himself to his feet. He reached out to place a hand on the wall to steady himself. "Don't worry, I'm fine," he spoke as he took note of her expression and could imagine her words that were hanging on the tip of her tongue, ready to question his actions. "Thanks," he added as he reached the front door and gripped the knob. He was met with a rush of warm wind as he opened the door. He squinted against the sunlight, enduring the ache in his head that increased suddenly but began to subside again slowly.

He found Cloud around the one side of the house, on his knees and vomiting roughly. He had his back to Zack but he sensed him there, looking back reluctantly when he'd finished emptying his stomach. He sat back on his heels before sliding himself over to the nearby wall, sitting down and resting his back against it.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," he spoke as he drew in a sharp and painful breath. Zack hesitated on what he wanted to tell his friend. He lowered himself to the ground slowly, ignoring his protesting body.

"You've been poisoned, Spike," he admitted reluctantly.

"What?" Cloud replied in disbelief. "H-how? From what?" he questioned, wiping some of the sweat from his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Mako. It was given to you—well us, but you received a lot more than I did," Zack explained uneasily.

Cloud shook his head. "I don't understand…what was it for?"

"Uh…mostly genetic enhancement…I guess," Zack answered slowly.

Cloud was quiet a moment as he let Zack's words sink in. But more questions were running to the forefront of his mind. "Who gave it to us? The mako."

_Hojo_, Zack thought. The name felt ready to burst from him. _And the lab assistants_. He wanted to be truthful with Cloud but the fact was, his friend had something Zack did not. That absence of burden Zack felt from having all the memories of what had happened over the past four years sitting on top of him. And he didn't want to relive them anymore than he wanted Cloud to have to remember them. So he hid behind a lie.

"I don't know. I don't…actually remember much of anything myself," he stated without looking at Cloud. After a moment he was checking to see if Cloud believed him. He seemed to. "Come on, let's go back in," Zack suggested and Cloud nodded, dragging himself up and helping Zack to get to his feet.

Zack knew that Cloud wasn't just going to let go of the things he couldn't recall. How could he? Any lies Zack shielded himself with now were likely to come back to kick him in the face later on. But at that moment, while the torture they'd endured was still fresh in his mind, he knew it was a risk he was willing to take.


	4. Chapter 3

_Hey guys! Sorry for the wait. Had a busy few weeks. This chapter's longer than usual. I guess for some that's a good thing...but I think a few of you have said you prefer shorter chapters if I remember correctly. So I apologize. I thought about cutting it in half but I sorta needed it to end in the way it did. And they only way to do that was to have it a little longer. So sorry haha! Oh, before I forget, a few people have mentioned to me that the changing perspectives in the story has been a little hard to follow. Unfortunately, this story will be doing that a fair bit. I've tried to keep it as clear as possible but if it still seems confusing let me know and I'll work on it. And if I still suck at it then I'll do away with it haha! Oh, and one more thing. A few people mentioned that I should have Zack let Cloud know that his name is in fact Cloud and not 'Spike' but I believe I wrote in either the Prologue or Chapter I that his name was one of the only things Cloud knew when he woke from his coma. So he knows haha! He shant be thinking his parents were THAT strange. :D_

_Songs for this chapter are: 'The Sunfish Song' - Ronald Jenkees; 'Weak and Powerless' - A Perfect Circle; 'The Remedy' - Abandoned Pools; 'Me Vs. Maradona Vs. Elvis' - Brand New; and 'Umbrella' - Dntel_

_All but 'The Remedy' by Abandoned Pools can be found on the playlist on YouTube. To check out 'The Remedy' go to http : // new . music . yahoo . com / videos / Abandoned+Pools / The+Remedy--2154526 without the spaces of course. Hopefully the link works haha. It was a challenge to write out. But I tried it out and it worked so hopefully it does for you too. It's a great song so check it out if you can. _

_That's all from me for now. Enjoy the chapter!_

Chapter III

"Where are you now?" Tseng's smooth voice floated through Reno's cell as his partner, Rude, pulled their vehicle to a stop at the end of a laneway leading to a small house.

"Outside some tiny-ass log cabin thing in the outskirts," Reno replied as he rolled down the window next to him. "It's pretty well the last stop before we re-enter the city. So, if they aren't here, then…It could take a hell of a lot longer to find them then we've been imagining."

Tseng's small sigh was just barely noticeable over the line. "Alright," he said after a moment. "Report back to me when you've searched the house," he instructed.

"You got it," Reno replied before flipping the cell shut.

000

"Hold still," Jacob ordered as he was preparing to apply some antibacterial cream to Zack's wounds. Zack paused mid-turn. He'd been looking to see where Cloud had gone once again. Somehow his friend had managed to duck out of the room unnoticed. It made Zack nervous. With Cloud being sick, his anxiety and paranoia were in overdrive. There were a thousand scenarios he could play out in his mind in which he and Cloud would need their strength, potentially to fight, and neither of them were in any condition to do so. He wanted desperately to believe they were no longer being searched for. That they were forgotten. Presumed dead. Anything that would mean they'd be left alone in peace to put back together their broken lives.

Cloud appeared then from the hall leading to the bathroom. He stopped in the doorway, leaning against the frame and crossing his arms over his chest. He smiled a little when Zack looked at him. It wasn't really a smile, but it was the closest thing to one that Cloud ever really expressed. A small movement that seemed to take some thought and effort. Zack had been privileged enough to have seen some of those few real smiles that had made their way past his friend's usual stoicism. The few that represented a genuine happiness. It had been so long since he'd seen a smile like that from Cloud. He had changed so much over a few years. And yet, when Zack looked at him, he could still see the ambitious kid with dreams of becoming a SOLDIER that he had met all those years back. It was sad to imagine that Cloud gone forever. His friend seemed calmer and stronger now, but so unbelievably vulnerable at the same time. Zack felt the overwhelming need to protect him and keep him close, but he wouldn't be able to forever. Cloud would have his own life one day. And Zack would have his.

"There's some minor infection started," Jacob spoke, pulling Zack's attention back to the task he was in the middle of. "Hopefully we can get it under control before—"

The man was interrupted by several firm knocks at the front door of the house. The quiet following those knocks was deafening. Zack looked again at Cloud before all eyes turned on Jacob's daughter.

"What?" Andrea questioned. "I didn't tell anybody," she assured Jacob. She looked at Zack and Cloud briefly before turning back to her father. "I swear," she added.

Another few knocks.

Zack's heartbeat sped up. Adrenaline shot through him as he was struck with the immediate urge to flee the house through the backdoor. He and Cloud wouldn't make it far.

"Come with me," Jacob ordered, motioning for Zack and Cloud to follow him. Cloud took Zack's arm and helped him to a stand from the couch. They followed Jacob through the kitchen and into a back room where a washing basin sat. Bending down, Jacob grasped onto a mat in the center of the floor and pulled it out of the way, revealing a small square door. As the man pulled on the rope handle the door whined open. A set of narrow steps led down about five feet. Zack looked at Jacob skeptically. "Well," the man said "hurry up!" he urged.

"Alright," Zack replied, trying to hide the nervousness in his tone. He was trying not to freak. Cloud was watching him, observing his reaction. "Come on, Spike," he urged as he stepped down onto the first step in the crawlspace. Cloud followed after him, though a verbal protest was about to spill from him. He didn't like the thought of hiding in some hole, defenseless. Whatever the threat, they should face it head-on. Down there they were just…sitting ducks.

"You too, Andi," Jacob said once Cloud and Zack were at the bottom of the stairs. His daughter looked at him in surprise.

"What?" she questioned fast. "Father—"

"Andrea, do what I say," he ordered, cutting her off. She complied reluctantly. All three of them had to lean over to match the clearance of the space. They looked up at Jacob with looks of apprehension. "Stay quiet," he said. "I'm sure it's no one to be worried about," he assured. With that said, he shut the door and pulled the mat back over it. He made his way to the front door where the knocking had become more persistent and impatient-sounding. Slowly, Jacob unlocked the door and pulled it open, completely enveloped in apprehension over who might be on the other side…

"Hi there," Reno spoke with a wide smile as the door to the log home opened finally and he found himself facing a middle-aged man on the other side of the doorway's threshold. "We were beginning to think no one was home," he commented.

"How much longer would you have continued to knock before coming to that conclusion?" the man asked sharply.

"Heh, funny," Reno spoke back to him as he moved his head to toss a few bright red strands of hair from his face. "Maybe you can help us out, we're looking for some friends of ours."

"Turks have friends?" the man questioned. Reno looked over at his partner.

"You're full of jokes, old man," he said as he faced the man again. "Mind if we come in and have a look around?" he asked firmly. He waited for the man to step back, knowing he would eventually, either by choice or force.

As Reno gazed around the main room, Rude nudged him and pointed to a large sheathed sword leaning against the back wall. Reno smirked out of realization they may have finally found something.

Down in the darkness of the crawlspace, Zack and Cloud strained their ears to pick up any sounds or bits of conversations they could. It all sounded relatively muffled at first but after a minute, the sounds grew more distinct. Footsteps were headed toward the back of the house. Zack nearly ceased breathing altogether as he realized the steps had stopped directly above them. A bit of dust floated down through the cracks in the floorboards, forcing them to cast their eyes downward.

"Don't know what you're hoping to find back here," Jacob spoke. There was the sound of plastic rustling.

Jacob watched the red-haired Turk sift through one of the garbage bags sitting in the room. He became more nervous as he realized how close he was to finding something revealing. He tried to stay calm and emotionally blank as he watched the Turk pull a bloodied SOLDIER uniform shirt from the bag.

"Well, guess we were hoping to find something like this," the young man said happily. He continued to pull the rest of the clothing out. "Two uniforms," he spoke over his shoulder to his partner. He turned to face Jacob, taking a step toward him. "Where are they now?" he questioned.

"Reno," Zack whispered in distain as he finally recognized the voice. His pulse quickened again, pounding in his ears.

"Who?" Andrea asked but Zack shushed her. They listened intensely to the short conversation between Reno and her father.

"They were here for a short time a few days ago," Jacob answered Reno's question without hesitation. "Don't know where they are now," he added.

"Is that right?" Reno asked. "There's a lot of blood on these uniforms. Were they injured?"

"One was. I aided him before he left."

There was a brief silence before Reno spoke again.

"Sorry, man, but I don't believe you. I think we're gonna take a little better look at the rest of your house."

The sound of shoes plodding on the floor above started up once again and softened as they moved away, back towards the front of the house.

"Who the hell is up there?" Andrea whispered in a mixture of fear and anger.

"Turks," Zack informed her. His mind raced around the thought. The Turks were still after them, which meant that even though he and Cloud were a continent away from the torture they'd left behind, they were still within Hojo's reach. He hadn't thought much before about how the old professor would have reacted upon seeing his specimens had escaped his lab. Angry but not completely worried at first. Zack and Cloud had made attempts at escape before but had never succeeded. But then, as he would have received call after call from guards posted around the building and outside that the specimens were nowhere to be found he would have become furious. And anxious. A four-year project suddenly over before completion. It would be considered _unacceptable_. He would have people all over the world searching for them.

It was a long, nerve-wracking twenty minutes before a door closed at the front of the house and someone came toward the back, sliding the mat over the hidden door in the floor and pulling the door open. For a split second Zack saw Reno there, his EMR poised and ready to use. But it was merely his fear creating the image. It was Jacob who opened the door.

"They're gone," he spoke down into the crawlspace. His daughter was the first to climb the stairs upwards. Zack urged Cloud ahead of him before making his way up slowly.

"What happened?" Andrea questioned promptly.

"Nothing. They searched the house and then left," he explained. "They took some things with them, however. Your uniforms," he said as he looked at the boys. "And your weapon," he added, turning his eyes toward Zack.

"Dammit!" Zack cursed loudly as he slammed his one palm against the wall next to him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to stop them from taking it," Jacob said sincerely. Zack took a deep breath, letting out slow.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have left it out there in the room," he replied in a softer tone. The thought that his old mentor's sword was in the hands of Reno made him sick to his stomach. He would need to get it back. No matter what.

"You know them?" Cloud spoke up then, now able to ask the questions that he'd suppressed while in the crawlspace.

"Yes," Zack confirmed with a nod, placing a hand on the left side of his ribcage and rubbing gently at one of his aching wounds.

"They're looking for us," Cloud stated rather than questioned. "Are they the one's we're running from?" he inquired. Zack tore his eyes from Cloud to glance at Jacob and his daughter. He wasn't comfortable discussing such details with them present. He wasn't comfortable discussing it at all.

"Sort of," he said, knowing very well his answer was an ambiguous one. "Did they say anything about coming back here?" he questioned as he turned to Jacob.

"No. I don't see why they would. They seemed satisfied with the thought that you had left days ago. I think you're safe," the man stated.

Zack was doubtful of that. Turks were pretty thorough about their work. He wouldn't be surprised if they sent out spies to keep an eye on the house. Then again…it was Reno. He couldn't put it past the Turk to screw up now and then.

"I think we need to leave as soon as possible," Zack declared. "We're endangering ourselves and you by staying here so long. By morning I should be able to keep myself standing long enough to get into the city."

"What's so special about the city?" Andrea asked. "You don't think they'll be looking for you there?"

"Sure they will," Zack replied. "But it'll be like the hiding in plain sight sorta deal. It's just for a little while."

"What exactly are these Turks after you for?" the girl inquired next. Zack could feel Cloud's eyes on him. He was as interested in Zack's answer as Andrea and her father. Zack didn't know how to answer. He waited for a lie to pop into his head that he could feed his audience but his mind remained blank. After a few moments of his silence, Jacob nudged his daughter and told her to help him get dinner ready. Reluctantly, she complied. Left alone, Zack finally met his friend's eyes again. He knew to expect more questions.

"Who were they?" was his first question.

"Turks," Zack said simply.

"I know that, but you know them," Cloud replied fast. "_How _do you know them? Do I know them?" He spoke with a rising urgency in his tone. He knew what Turks were. He didn't know how he knew but he did. Still, his knowledge bank involving them was fuzzy. Zack ran a hand through his over-grown hair. "Were they the ones who gave us mako?" Cloud asked next when he said nothing.

"They—" Zack began but stopped abruptly. He thought hard about what he wanted to say, beginning again slowly. "They're just some guys working for the people looking for us," he said as lightly as possible. "I told you though, Spike, there's not really much I can tell you right now."

Cloud exhaled with mild frustration as he placed his hands on the washing basin in front of him. "If you _do _remember something," he spoke, looking up at Zack, "you'll tell me, right?" His eyes were pleading.

"I will," Zack agreed painfully. He hated lying to Cloud. He was already re-thinking his decision to pretend to have memory loss. It made him feel more guilty than he'd ever felt before in his life. For a moment, he thought about telling the truth. And asking Cloud to forgive him for lying. It was on the tip of his tongue, but at that moment Cloud became suddenly paler, his eyes becoming slightly unfocused. Zack moved toward him, placing a hand on his back. "You okay, buddy?" he questioned.

"I…" his friend began to answer, barely audibly. He said something else but it was so quiet Zack wasn't able to make it out. He would have asked him to repeat it had Cloud's body not became suddenly limp. His friend lost his grip on the basin, his knees collapsing under him. Zack's hands shot out to grab onto him, keeping him from hitting the floor too hard.

"Cl—" he began to say his friend's name but hesitated, looking up to confirm neither Jacob nor his daughter were in hearing range. He couldn't be sure so he kept his tone low as he said Cloud's name. He shook Cloud lightly as he knelt next to him on the floor, trying to urge him to wake. His friend was sweating profusely and Zack noticed something else. A small blood spot forming in the left inner elbow in the material of the shirt Cloud was wearing. "What's happening?" Zack whispered aloud as he pulled Cloud's sleeve up. The circular metal bolt in Cloud's arm was glazed lightly in the red fluid that was seeping through the port. The bleeding wasn't profuse but the fact that it was happening at all was disturbing. It took a moment for Zack to realize that his other ports were bleeding as well. He grew fearful immediately that he was witnessing something that had happened to both he and his friend their first year in Hojo's lab. When the mako injections they'd been given had destroyed some of their veins and prevented their blood from clotting. This was different though. The amount of blood was small.

"Are you boys—" a voice spoke from nearby, ending abruptly. Zack looked up to see Jacob standing in the doorway. "What happened?" he asked as he came forward quickly.

"Uh…I'm not sure," Zack responded uneasily. "He just passed out."

"He's bleeding," Jacob noted as he fixed his eyes on the shiny circles imbedded in Cloud's skin. He'd noticed them before but never let his gaze linger. He'd wondered about them but hadn't questioned them.

Cloud's bout of unconsciousness didn't last long. It had only been about a minute or so since he'd lost consciousness that he began to wake again.

"Spike," Zack spoke fast, squeezing his shoulders. Cloud's eyes opened slowly and began to shift in confusion.

"What happened?" he questioned as he focused on Zack.

"You blacked out for a minute there, kid, are you okay?" Zack answered softly.

"I—I'm not sure," Cloud responded hesitantly. He reached up to grasp the side of his head with one hand. "My head's killing me," he added as he squeezed his eyes shut. Zack looked up at Jacob.

"Let's get you out to the other room," the man said to Cloud before taking hold of his one arm. He and Zack helped Cloud come to a stand and began leading him out to the main room. Andrea followed them out and watched as they sat Cloud down on the couch. Jacob left momentarily to retrieve some acetaminophen. Cloud held his head in his hands as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

"How bad is the bleeding?" Jacob asked when he returned. He handed two tablets and a glass of water to Cloud. "I'm not sure I know how to treat it when it's coming from your…uh…your…" he struggled with what to call the unique feature Cloud possessed. Cloud looked down at the bit of blood seeping from the center of the circles in his wrists before turning his eyes toward Zack, wanting to know himself what exactly the metal pieces in his skin were.

"Ports. Is what they're called," Zack clarified. "The bleeding isn't bad. Hopefully it stops on its own shortly."

"Do you mind if I take a closer look?" Jacob asked. Zack looked at Cloud. His friend shrugged slightly before uttering a quiet '_Fine_.'

Jacob sat down next to Cloud and leaned in to inspect the port in Cloud's left wrist. "How many do you have?" he questioned, but again Cloud didn't have the answer. He was aware of six. Zack supplied the real number. Eight.

"What are they for?" Jacob's daughter asked. That was an answer Zack wasn't willing to give. He was grateful to realize when he looked at his friend that Cloud didn't seem to want to know the answer to that question at the moment. He retracted his arm, pulling at the sleeves on his shirt before grasping onto Zack's forearm. There was a look almost of panic in his eyes but Zack knew what it really meant.

Cloud began to say something. "I need to—" But he didn't need to finish the sentence. Zack grasped his hand and pulled him from the couch, ignoring Jacob's inquiries about what was wrong. He helped Cloud to the bathroom quickly, just in time for Cloud to find his way to his knees in front of the toilet so that he could throw up once again. Zack watched with deep concern and pity for his friend, knowing well what that sickness was like. As Cloud finished, he took some deep and shaky breaths. Without turning around he said "I don't wanna stay here any longer."

"I know—" Zack began to reply but Cloud cut him off.

"No! You don't know," he spoke heatedly. "They don't look at you the same way they look at me." Zack lowered his eyes. He hadn't thought about it but Cloud was right. "When they look at me like—the way that they do—I get feelings. Of sickness and…I dunno, pain. When they look at me, all I want to do is run away."

Zack _did _understand it. Now that he was thinking of it. It made sense that Cloud would feel that way. Jacob and his daughter _did _look at Cloud differently. They looked at him like he was something to inspect. Though they probably weren't meaning to.

"Alright," Zack said with a nod. He stepped closer to his friend, crouching down next to him. "In the morning, we'll leave. Okay?"

Cloud's expression was one of disappointment. He wanted to leave immediately. But he didn't verbally protest because he knew it would be better to wait the extra hours. "Fine," he agreed. Zack put his one arm around his shoulders, squeezing firmly.

"Everything will be alright, trust me," he spoke with a slightly forced smile. Cloud made no indication to suggest he believed or didn't believe Zack's words.

Zack had been serious about leaving first thing in the morning. He'd spent most of the evening thinking about where they were going to go when they got into the city. Cloud lay on the couch next to the cot Zack was on. Fortunately, the bleeding out of his ports had stopped not long after it had begun. It was mysterious and led to many questions. Questions that were likely to remain unanswered. Though Cloud's eyes were closed, Zack was sure he was still awake. Every so often he'd made a few small sounds. Sounds that scared the hell out of Zack because they were strikingly familiar and like the sounds he'd heard many times before when Cloud had been sick in Hojo's lab. _Just hang on, Cloud_, he begged silently. _I'll find help for you, I promise. _

Sometime just before midnight, Zack was surprised to find he'd actually fallen asleep as he had awoken suddenly from an intense nightmare. He had been trapped in a building, searching for a way out, but every knob he grasped on every door melted into his hands. He had been filled with fear and desperation and a feeling that something was chasing him. But there was no way out. It wasn't hard to decipher the meaning behind that dream. When Zack had awoken, he found himself sweaty and disoriented. He breathed out with relief when he realized where he was once again. He glanced at Cloud briefly before lifting himself from the cot beneath him and moving himself toward the hall leading to the bathroom.

After washing the sweat from his face with cool water, he stepped back into the hall, stopping when he was about to re-enter the main room. By the dim light of the small lamp on the one end table next to the couch, he observed Cloud from the doorway as he lay on the couch, shivering despite the thick blanket covering him. It seemed he'd finally been able to fall asleep though it probably wouldn't last long. His unstable health had been deteriorating quickly. Zack figured it was because of the amount of effort it had taken Cloud to get him down into the valley and to that log house. The over-exertion had done a number on his body's defenses, especially since it had been cold and raining, and now they were unable to hold back the poison that was taking over once again. Zack didn't know what to do.

"Your friend is not well," Jacob spoke from behind Zack. Jacob had heard movement down the hall and gotten out of bed to see if everything was alright. He'd spotted Zack and approached quietly. Zack wasn't surprised at the man's sudden appearance. His enhanced hearing had picked up his footsteps the moment he came from one of the bedrooms.

"No," Zack replied quietly. "He's been mako-poisoned."

"Mako-poisoned?" Jacob said in slight shock. "How bad?"

"Bad. He spent the last few months in a coma."

"He's going to need medicinal treatment or he could fall back into a coma at any moment. And the mako is likely still causing damage, even though he's not in a coma-state," the man pointed out. It was something Zack already knew.

"I know. But where am I supposed to get the medicines without going into a hospital or medical center?" Zack asked as he turned to face the man.

"I know someone. He's a doctor. I would have brought him hear sooner but you and your friend seemed so adamant that no one else know of you. He can come here—" Jacob began but Zack cut him off.

"No. It's bad enough you know about us—"

"He won't tell anyone," Jacob assured him. "You can trust him." Zack exhaled long before heading out of the hall towards Cloud.

"I don't know…" he muttered as he stood in front of his friend, crouching slowly next to the couch.

"He could die," Jacob said as he watched Zack place a hand on Cloud's forehead to check on his temperature. He could see the inner debate going on in Zack through the strain in his expression. It seemed to be one of the hardest decisions he'd ever had to make. Finally, as he pushed some of Cloud's blond hair from his face he made his choice.

"Alright," he barely breathed. It was a reluctant but definitive reply.

Jacob made the call immediately to his doctor friend. After he'd hung up, he told Zack it would be a few hours before his friend arrived. Cloud woke about fifteen minutes later. He looked up at Zack who had seated himself at the other end of the couch. Cloud had had his legs tucked so close to his body for warmth he'd left ample room for him.

"Hey, Spikey," Zack spoke as he met Cloud's eyes.

"Hey," Cloud replied softly, his voice a little strained.

"How you feeling?" Zack questioned. Cloud shrugged a bit.

"Okay, I guess."

He didn't look okay. He started to sit up, turning onto his back and sliding himself up slowly. He rested his back against the arm of the chair and drew his legs up toward his torso. "What time is it?" he asked then.

"Just after midnight," Zack answered softly, rubbing his eyes a little. "You want some water or something?" he inquired.

"No," Cloud said as he shook his head slowly. "I'm so tired. But I still can't really sleep," he spoke lowly, holding the blanket closer to himself, tucking it under his chin. "And…" he started but trailed off promptly. Zack looked at him with a questioning expression. Cloud finished hesitantly. "I dunno…everything just…hurts."

"I know," Zack said sadly, placing his hand on one of his friend's blanket-covered knees. "Jacob's called someone. Someone that will be able to help hopefully." Cloud looked at him in surprise.

"What?" he uttered. "But—"

"I know," Zack cut him off. "Believe me, I know. But it's necessary. Unfortunately."

"But, I'm not that sick," Cloud retorted, drawing a sigh from Zack.

"Not yet. But it's likely to get worse. It's best to take care of it now," Zack urged.

"But what if—" Cloud started to protest but Zack interrupted again.

"Don't worry about it," he said with a comforting smile. Cloud lowered his eyes, looking at an empty glass on the coffee table. "I'm gonna make sure you're taken care of. You'll feel better soon," he said surely. Despite his friend's reassurances, Cloud was still worried.

Jacob's doctor friend arrived earlier than expected, just an hour and fifteen minutes after Jacob had called him. Both Zack and Cloud were startled by the sound of knocking at the door. Jacob was about to tell them to wait in the kitchen until he could confirm it was his friend when there came a muffled voice from the other side of the door calling out to Jacob.

"That's him," the man said as he approached the door promptly. He pulled it open and a tall man about the same age as Jacob entered the house.

"Jacob," the man greeted.

"Lars, thank you for coming at this hour," Jacob said back, taking the man's coat from him. "This is my friend, Doctor Pedgrin," he spoke to Zack and Cloud.

"Hi," Zack said as he rose slowly to a stand. "Good to meet you," he added as he offered his hand to the doctor. The doctor shook his hand and nodded politely. He looked at Cloud then.

"Are you the young man with the mako poisoning?" he questioned, his voice deep yet soft. Cloud didn't respond. He was too busy trying to keep his nerves from choking him. He didn't want to see a doctor. Any doctor. He hated even being in the same room as the man.

Zack broke the awkward silence. "You can help him?" he asked. The doctor nodded again. "I've brought the necessary medicines. As well as some antibiotics for you."

"That's great. We really appreciate it," Zack replied.

"Is your friend able to come over to the table?" the doctor asked next.

"Uh, yeah," Zack said as he watched the doctor set a black bag down on the table and open it carefully. He turned toward his friend then. "Come on, Spike," he urged as he went to take Cloud's upper arm. Cloud resisted Zack's light pull, squeezing the couch cushions on either side of him tightly.

"I don't like this," he said quietly to Zack.

"I know, but he's going to help you. And me. Both of us," Zack rationalized.

"I don't care," Cloud said a little less discretely, drawing a short look from the doctor. "I don't want his help," he spoke a little quieter again.

Zack exhaled forcefully. "I promise it will be fine," he assured his friend. "I _promise_. Okay?" They stared at one another a few moments before Cloud blinked a few times and drew in a deep breath. Zack knew that was his expression of acceptance. "Come on," he said with a smile, helping his friend up and guiding him to the table where he pulled out a chair for Cloud to sit in.

Cloud's rising anxiety was obvious as he sat at the table, rubbing his palms against his thighs nervously. Zack tried again to reassure him. "Don't worry, Spike, the doc's gonna make you feel better, right Doc?" he spoke brightly.

"Spike?" the doctor echoed with a raised eyebrow as he pulled a bottle of clear liquid from his bag and set it on the table.

"Just a nickname," Zack explained. "Though it kinda fits doesn't it?"

The doctor chuckled a little. "I suppose," he said. He reached in his bag and pulled out several items in plastic wrappers. He tore open the first wrapper to reveal a narrow syringe. No one in the room expected Cloud's reaction.

As soon as Cloud caught a glimpse of the syringe he was bombarded by sudden images. Leather straps on hard wooden chairs. A cold table with colder restraints. Agonizing pain. Green liquid…

His reflexes jumped into overdrive. He stood up fast, knocking over the chair he'd been sitting in and nearly falling over it as he stumbled backwards.

"Spike," Zack tried to talk to him, moving toward him. Cloud continued to evade, his back hit the nearby wall. He shrank against it, his eyes never leaving the shiny tip of the instrument in the Doctor's hand. "Spikey, stop!" Zack pleaded, grabbing hold of his arms, pinning them to his sides lightly. "Come on. You need the medicines."

"No," Cloud protested, not understanding why he was feeling so adamant about not wanting that needle near him and yet not willing to give in. "No, Zack!" he said, slipping up and calling him by his real name. Zack glanced at the others briefly before turning back to his friend. Yep, they'd heard it too. Cloud's eyes were still locked on the instrument in the doctor's hand.

Zack shook him a little. "Hey, look at me," he demanded and slowly Cloud complied, meeting his friend's violet eyes. "I promise it will be alright. You trust me right?"

Cloud stared back at him, tears welling up in his eyes. "Zack, don't make me do this, _please_," he said barely above a whisper. Zack was almost hurt over those words. Imagining Cloud would even think for a second he'd force him to do something, the way Hojo and his staff had. He moved a hand to the back of Cloud's neck, squeezing a little in gentle reassurance.

"No one's going to make you do anything. Alright?" he explained softly. "But if you don't accept the treatment you could end up in a coma. Or worse."

It took a few moments for Cloud to accept what Zack had said as being true. He knew it to be true. He could feel it. He had been very aware of his body's signals the past few days. Of the signs that were telling him each moment he was asleep he was teetering on the edge between waking and falling back into the darkness that had had a hold on him for what seemed like forever. The darkness that was all he knew before that moment he'd been freed of it on the cliffs. His muscles had been seizing up, becoming more difficult to operate, and the nausea and stomach pain had been worsening. Still, he couldn't bring himself to accept that man coming at him with the syringe. He didn't care if he died because of it.

Zack had an idea then. "Would you let me give it to you?" he asked. Cloud thought about it a moment before nodding slowly, though it was still clear in his eyes he didn't want the needle near him. "Doc," Zack said over his shoulder then, reaching a hand out to take the bottle of liquid and syringe. "Come sit, down," he said to Cloud next as he led him over to the couch. Sitting down next to him, he began to fill the syringe. The doctor watched him closely.

"You've done that before?" he commented. Zack gave a nod of confirmation, remembering all the numerous times he'd had to inject himself and Cloud when they'd escaped the lab. "Here," the man said as he dabbed a cotton ball with iodine. He passed it to Zack. Zack took it from him but paused before doing anything with it.

"Would you both mind if…" he began but Jacob took the hint immediately, motioning for the doctor to follow him into the kitchen. The doctor hesitated before leaving, taking two more bottles of liquid from his bag and picking up two more wrapped syringes before approaching Zack once again.

"There are two other injections he needs to be given," he said as he set the bottles and syringes down on the coffee table.

"Alright," Zack replied. He waited for the doctor to leave the room before reaching for Cloud's arm, turning it so his inner elbow was exposed. As Zack wiped the area with the cotton he looked into his friend's face. "You're remembering some things," he said quietly. It wasn't quite a question, but it wasn't quite a statement either. Cloud didn't confirm or deny anything. He closed his eyes instead and waited for Zack to be finished.

Through the whole procedure, Zack couldn't shake the feeling like he was hurting Cloud. Not necessarily physically, but mentally. And it was killing him. The last thing he wanted to do was cause his friend more emotional or mental anguish but it was necessary. He prayed that Cloud would be able to see that.

It was about 3 a.m. when the doctor left the house. He had announced before he left that he'd be back around 9 a.m. to check on Zack and Cloud. Zack had fallen asleep almost immediately after the man left but was awoken suddenly at around 5:30 by Jacob. The man spared not a single second in delivering the worst and most frightening news Zack would have thought possible. Cloud was gone.


	5. Chapter 4

_Hey everyone! Geeze, so pretty much this could have been out like hours ago but I kept getting interrupted while I was editing. And earlier today I decided to do a little research on something so I put in 'Advent Children' and naturally had to watch the whole thing haha. So anyway, FINALLY here is the chapter. A Shining Armour was kind enough to introduce me to IMEEM which is a pretty great site to find music I must say. There are songs on there that are not found on YouTube, so I've started a playlist on there for the story. It has all of the songs on there for all the chapters to date. Also, I have made one for 'Reduced to Specimens' if you're interested. I put all the songs on there that I had listed in my one note at the end of RtS. I think there were only one or two songs I couldn't find. But if you prefer YouTube, I'm still going to be updating that as well. So it's your choice. I do think you may need to sign up on IMEEM if you want to view the playlist. It's free though so that's good. I'm going to put the links to the playlists below and on my user page as well so you can refer to them if you want. I'm not actually sure how many of you actually listen to the playlist but a few is enough for me haha! And on that note, songs for this chapter are: 'Right Where It Belongs' by Nine Inch Nails, 'Eastern Glow' by The Album Leaf, 'Of Wolves and Angels' by Kiros, and 'Something I Can Never Have' by Nine Inch Nails. You will not find 'Right Where It Belongs' on the YouTube playlist because all I could fine was version two. And the one for the story is version one. You can find it on IMEEM however. I think that's all from me for now. Take care guys and thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews! You guys are awesome! Cheers!_

YouTube Playlist: http:// www . youtube . com / view_play_list?p=F834BD305883C103

IMEEM Playlist: http:// www . imeem . com / people / 6ZJmqNB

Chapter IV

"What do you mean he's gone?" Zack blurted as he sat up fast, wincing against the pain that the sudden movement afflicted him with.

"I just searched the house. Your friend is not here," Jacob elaborated. Zack pulled himself to his feet quickly, heading for the front door. "Where are you going?" Jacob inquired fast.

"He could be outside," Zack called back to him as he pulled the door open and stepped out of the house. He was met with rain. Cold and miserable. He recalled earlier that Cloud had retreated outside when he'd felt he was going to throw up but he couldn't imagine his friend doing that now in such weather. Still, he searched the entire area around the outside of the house, refusing to believe Cloud had really taken off. And yet, in his gut, he knew that's exactly what Cloud had done.

"Fuck!" Zack exclaimed loudly as he made his way back toward the front door to the house. He cursed himself repeatedly, feeling completely at fault. He should have seen it coming. He knew Cloud had been desperate to get away from the house and the doctor coming to treat them had been the final straw. He should have just left with Cloud when his friend expressed how much he wanted to get away from Jacob and his daughter. He hesitated before re-entering the house, a terrible thought coming over him. What if Cloud had also left because he wanted to get away from _him_? He did leave on his own after all. It was horrible to consider. The thought made Zack feel ill. He pushed the front door to the house open and stepped back into the warm and dry environment within.

"He wasn't out there," he announced to Jacob, who had been sitting on the couch, waiting. "I have to find him," Zack added then as he looked around, awkwardly, aware of the fact he had no shoes to wear. "You still got my boots around?" he questioned and the man nodded before retrieving them from the back room off the kitchen. Luckily they hadn't been snatched up by Reno and Rude the day before.

"He could be anywhere," Jacob remarked when he returned with Zack's footwear. "How will you know where to look?" he asked.

"I don't know," Zack replied as he began tying on the first boot. "You have any idea when it was he left?" he inquired after a tense moment.

"I was awake until about three thirty so it would have to have been after that," the man explained. "But, Zack, you can't just go looking for him aimlessly," he pointed out and Zack gave him a slightly harsh look. He didn't like the fact that the man used his real name. It felt foreign coming from someone other than Cloud.

"It won't be aimless," he argued, coming to a stand. "He'll go into the city."

"Well, just—" Jacob stumbled with his words, trying to reason with him. "At least let me drive you," he urged. Zack looked at him as he contemplated. He agreed reluctantly and waited for Jacob to tell his daughter where he was going before they were finally out the door and on their way.

000

Cloud wrapped his arms a little tighter around himself and kept his head down as the rain fell a little harder upon him. It had started out light but now, as he found himself on the brink of the huge city before him, it was falling faster and with more force. It wasn't nearly as vicious as the night he'd arrived with Zack at Jacob's house however. And for that he was grateful. But he was freezing, the cold precipitation chilling him to his core. His clothing had been wet through shortly after he left the house. He'd left with nothing else. And he didn't need anything else as far as he was concerned. He just needed to get away from that place.

He lifted his head then so he could gaze up at the city that appeared as some mechanical giant, ominous and daunting. The mist that circled around it made it seem like it was floating. His eyes lingered on a towering structure that he guessed was close to the center of the city. There was nothing beautiful about what he saw in front of him. The place seemed hard and cold and grey. And though he knew he should feel intimidated, he wasn't. He pushed himself forward, ignoring the pain in his body and the nagging feeling he'd had for the past hour and a half that someone was following him.

And someone _was_ following him. He had been since shortly after Cloud had left Jacob's house. He'd been watching the house for nearly twelve hours. He'd gotten so used to seeing no movement around that place that he hadn't even noticed Cloud had left until he'd gotten about half a mile away. Only then, as he was gazing through his binoculars across the landscape did he spot him. He'd searched out his tracking device, flipping it on and waiting for it to pick up a signal. After a moment he saw it, the small red blip that indicated Target 2 was headed toward the city. He hadn't known what to do then. He hadn't been given any specific instructions about what to do if only one target left the residence. He'd taken out his phone, dialing in a number and plugging one ear with his finger to block out the sound of the rain beating on the hood of his car.

"Come on," he'd said in frustration as he listened to the ringing on the line. "Pick up."

"The person you are trying to reach is unavailable," the voicemail message clicked on after the sixth ring. "After the tone, please leave a message."

He'd decided against leaving a message, making the decision instead to go after the target. From his location on the cliffs above the valley, it had taken him awhile to drive down to the city.

As he approached he kept his eyes traveling from the road ahead to the tracker lying on the passenger seat next to him. The target hadn't stopped moving since he left the house. Wherever he was headed, he certainly seemed determined.

000

Zack hadn't been able to tear his eyes off the city looming ahead of them as he and Jacob drove in silence toward it. He was feeling a mixture of calmness and fear as he looked upon it. He felt like he was looking at home. But with an imminent danger that wasn't there before. He was so enveloped in apprehension over what was going to happen when he set foot in the streets of Midgar that he barely heard Jacob speaking. He may have continued to ignore him had the content of his statement not been so striking.

"I know who you and Cloud are."

It was Cloud's name being said that was the striker. While Cloud had indeed revealed Zack's name in front of Jacob, Zack was positive that he'd been more careful than that. He was devoid of replies as he looked at the man. Jacob didn't say anything else right away. Instead, he leaned over and opened the door on the glove compartment in the dashboard. He pushed a few things out of the way and pulled out a few articles that had been cut from newspapers and paper clipped together. He dropped them in Zack's lap. Zack read the headline on the first article. _Tragedy strikes small town of Nibelheim_. He glanced at Jacob briefly before taking the articles in his hand and pulling the clip off them, reading the headlines on the following articles. _Horrible accident in Western Continent's town of Nibelheim; Entire town destroyed in fire caused by reactor crash; Few survive devastating accident in small town_. As he skimmed through the last article, he found himself looking at a small black and white picture of himself, along with pictures of Cloud and Sephiroth. They were old pictures. Though Sephiroth didn't look much different, he and Cloud certainly did. _While the remains are unidentifiable, two bodies found in the wreckage of the reactor are believed to be those of SOLDIER, 1__st__ Class, Zackary Fair and PFC, Cloud Strife of the Shinra Militia. Investigators are still searching for the body of General Sephiroth, though he too is believed to be dead._

"I followed the story closely because I had a friend in Nibelheim who died in that fire that consumed the town," Jacob explained.

"Small world," Zack muttered as he tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. _An accident?_ he thought. _They called it an accident?_ It was obvious that Shinra had covered up Sephiroth's actions, and in doing so had taken away any form of justice for those who'd died. It was sad and infuriating at the same time. "Did you know who we were when we first got to your house?" he managed to ask, though it was incredibly difficult to force those words from his mouth.

"No. I thought I recognized you both. Vaguely. But I didn't give it much thought until Cloud used your real name," Jacob replied.

All Zack could really say was "Oh."

"So I guess the next question would be...?" the man purposely trailed off so Zack could finish for him.

"Where have we been since then?"

There was silence and Zack looked at Jacob to see a look of expectation on his face. He turned away, shaking his head.

"I understand," the man said and Zack scoffed.

"No. You really don't," he countered. Raising his elbow onto the arm rest under the window next to him and resting the side of his face in his hand, he tossed the articles back into the glove compartment with his other hand.

"Well. I don't think it would be too hard to figure out," Jacob said then, drawing an incredulous look from Zack.

"Really?" he shot back at him, feeling himself getting heated with irritation. "And just what is it that _you _think happened to Cloud and I those four years ago?" he asked.

"Well…I don't _know_, but if I thought about it I could probably come up with a few things," he said casually. Zack lowered his arm, exhaling forcefully, trying to keep his cool.

Calmly, he began to respond. "Look, I don't mean to sound harsh, but you could never, _ever_, come up with some of the things we've gone through." His voice quivered a little as his emotions threatened to choke him. "So don't even bother yourself with trying," he finished, turning his face to hide the tears building in his eyes.

"What if I said I thought you and your friend have been in hiding because you and the General were responsible for the destruction of the town?" Jacob inquired to Zack's utter amazement. He looked at him in shock.

"Are you serious?" he blurted.

"So, you're not responsible?" the man asked.

"Uh—guh—" Zack stuttered, almost unable to form words for the outrage he had rising up inside him. "What?!" he managed to get out finally. "Nibelheim was Cloud's hometown. Did you know that? Did it mention that in one of your precious articles?" he spoke angrily, pulling the newspaper clippings from the glove compartment once again and waving them at the man. "His mother _died_ in that fire. She was all he had. Our lives were destroyed that day and you think we had something to do with it?" Jacob said nothing. "Well screw you, if that's what you think," Zack finished as he sat back and crossed his arms over his chest, turning his gaze out the window once again.

"I'm sorry," Jacob said after a moment. "I know. I have no idea what happened to you and your friend. And I don't have a right to pry. It's just, I have a hard time believing what's in the papers. Some of the survivors claimed the town was set on fire by outsiders. No one believed them of course. Post-traumatic stress. That's what the stories were attributed to. You _must _know what really happened."

Without looking at him, Zack replied. "It was a long time ago."

"Are you saying you don't remember?"

Zack remembered just fine. It was like yesterday in his mind. "Stop here," he ordered as they entered Sector 4 in the city. Jacob slowed the vehicle to a stop.

"You can speculate all you want about what happened in Nibelheim. It's not going to bring the dead back to life," Zack said as he opened the door next to him, stepping out onto the pavement.

"Wait!" Jacob called and Zack ducked to look back in the car. "You don't want help finding your friend?" the man questioned.

"No," Zack said. "Thanks. I can take it from here."

"What about his treatment?" Jacob inquired, halting Zack as he was about to shut the door.

"Uh…" Zack hesitated, not sure what to say. Cloud really did need the treatment.

"I could have my friend meet you somewhere. He could bring the medicines," Jacob suggested.

"No," Zack decided after a moment of thought. It was too risky. With Jacob knowing for sure who he and Cloud were it would be easy for the man to set them up for capture. He couldn't take the chance. "We'll figure it out. Thanks, Jacob. For everything you did for us. If it weren't for you, well, I probably wouldn't be here now. And I'm sorry we're leaving things on a tense note. If you knew the truth you'd see why—" he cut himself off then cracked a bit of a smile. "Anyway, thanks," he said before shutting the door and turning.

"Hey!" he heard Jacob call to him and he looked back to see him leaning over to the passenger side window, rolling it down quickly. He watched the man write something down on a piece of paper. "Take this!" he called. Zack took the paper from him. It was a phone number, presumably Jacob's. "And this," the man added, reaching out a few bills of paper money.

"No, really," Zack said, shaking his head. "It's fine—"

"Just take it," Jacob ordered. Reluctantly Zack took the money from him, putting it in his pocket with the phone number. "If you ever need anything. You know where to find me," the man said and Zack gave a firm nod in acknowledgement. Zack thanked him once more before stepping away from the car. When he was about ten feet away he turned back. "Good luck!" Jacob called over the rain before rolling the window back up and departing, leaving Zack to begin his search for Cloud. He didn't even know where to start.

000

Cloud took a deep breath, letting it out slow as he leaned against the one wall of the alley. He was so tired and sore, his muscles cramped and dehydrated. He'd been wandering the streets of what he could only think of as the lower level of the city for about an hour and he was starting to see the downside of leaving Jacob's. He wasn't in the best health after all. But somehow he felt safer on the street than he had in that house. It was too closed-in. To constricting.

But now, he didn't know what to do with himself. There were things he needed that he wasn't exactly sure how to get. Food, water…shelter. And yet, as pressing as those matters were, he couldn't help but revel just a little in his surroundings. Dark, even though the sun was rising, dirty and just a little bit foreboding. He kind of liked it. It seemed familiar to him.

Gathering up a second wind, he moved himself down to the end of the alley, crossing into a narrow street. He found himself looking toward a small group of guys standing a few yards away, smoking. They turned their gazes on him. The feeling of safety slipped away from Cloud as he heard one say to the other "Check out this fool." He turned his back on them, heading down the opposite direction on the street, towards the sound of people on a main street ahead.

"Hey! You lost, my man?" One of the guys called out behind him. They were following him. He quickened his pace, though he refused to run and make himself look like a real coward. Their footsteps seemed to disappear suddenly. He stopped, turning back to find himself alone. He was confused but it all made sense rather quickly as he moved himself to continue on toward the main street ahead. He'd made only a few steps before his followers had leapt out from the mouth of an alley next to him.

"Give us your fucking money!" the one demanded loudly as three others moved to position themselves around Cloud, leaving him seemingly trapped. As Cloud looked at them he decided they probably weren't much older than him, however old that was. They may have even been a little younger.

"I don't have any," he replied at last, looking into the face of the one who seemed to be the leader of the bunch. While the situation was making him slightly nervous, he wasn't actually afraid. More surprised. It was like 6 am and he was being robbed?

"Bullshit!" another of guys spoke up.

"Check him," the leader ordered.

Cloud only just looked over his shoulder as he was pushed from behind and against the nearby wall. He didn't offer up much resistance at first. With a hand pushing his face against the wall and another holding his one wrist behind his back, he waited as one of the others searched the pockets in his clothing.

"Nothing," the one who'd searched him announced.

"Well that's disappointing," the leader replied. He came into Cloud's view then, pulling something from his pocket. Cloud was shown just what it was when it was brought close to his face. A switchblade. "Well if you don't have any money," the leader went on "then what good are you?" One look at the blade was all it took to snap Cloud into action. He reacted before he'd even had time to think about what he wanted to do. Bringing his free hand up fast, he grabbed the leader's head by his hair and threw it toward the wall, hearing a dull thud before he'd twisted in the hold of the one behind him and grabbed the guy's wrist, wrenching his arm back. There was a snapping sound and the guy yelled out in pain as Cloud's own hand was released from his hold.

The remaining two came at him together. Cloud wasted no time in bringing his fist back and throwing a punch into the side of the one's face.

Cloud was shocked at the power behind his punch. The poor guy hit the ground with his lip busted wide open and bleeding out fast. Cloud hadn't thought the hit was _that _hard. The fourth assailant hesitated, looking back and forth from Cloud to his buddy lying on the ground. Just then, Cloud felt a hand grab onto the back of his shirt. He turned to face the leader, his knife held back and ready to strike. He prepared to feel that blade plunge into him but he heard a voice instead. A voice that shouted out "STOP!" He looked in the direction it had come to see a young man in a suit aiming a gun at him and the others.

The knife-wielding leader let go of Cloud and raised his hands in surrender, but Cloud had other things in mind. Something about the suited man told him to run and that's just what he did, regardless of the fact the man had a gun. He heard no shots fired as he took off, rounding the corner and emerging onto a main street. The only thing he heard was "HEY! WAIT!" and there's no way in hell he was going to stop.

He crossed the street fast, quickening his pace as he aimed to put as much distance behind him as he could before he was forced to stop and catch his breath. When he finally did stop, he was positive he was completely lost, and worse than that, he realized rather soon that the suited man had followed him. And done a good job at keeping on his heels for that matter. He was shocked. He thought he'd taken enough random turns through the maze of dark streets ahead of him that he'd have lost the guy.

No such luck. After another few minutes of trying to elude the suited man, he was struck by a thought. The guy was following him too easily. Like he could see exactly where he was heading. Suspicion rose up in Cloud and he decided to test out the theory he had coming together in his mind. As he turned down another alley, he spotted a fire escape ladder hanging down from an escape route on the side of one of the buildings. Keeping his momentum going, he leapt toward the wall next to the ladder, pushing off it to get into the air high enough to catch one of the last rungs on the ladder. Straining the muscles in his arms, he pulled himself upwards, feeling slight relief when he was able to step onto the one rung and take the pressure off his upper body.

He ascended quickly, climbing to the top of the escape route where he moved himself onto the platform outside one of the building's windows and crouched, breathing hard as he waited for his follower to show up. Less than a minute later, the man in the suit with light brown hair and a confused expression appeared below in the alley. Cloud could see that he was holding something in his hand. Cloud's suspicions that he was being tracked were confirmed. _But how?_ he wondered. _And through what?_

Dominic tapped the screen on his tracker, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. According to the device he should have been standing right on top of the target. But there was no one in the alley besides him. Unless…Slowly, he looked upward, squinting to see through the grated surfaces of the fire escape route above. He couldn't see anything but it didn't matter. He pocketed his tracker before backing up and readying himself to attack the task of reaching the ladder over his head.

Cloud moved his way through the apartment he'd just broken into, thankful that the place appeared to be uninhabited. It took a few seconds for him to bust out the front door where he headed for the building's stairwell. He stopped for a moment, searching his clothing for any sort of chip that could be being tracked by the suited man after him. Nothing. There was nothing. He felt a bit panicked then as he didn't know what to do. He couldn't keep running all day. His feet were already tired. His feet. He sat himself on the one stair as he lifted his left foot and rested it on his right knee, inspecting his boot carefully. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He searched over his right boot next. It took another moment but he found it. It was so small. A circle no bigger than the eraser on a pencil, shaped like a thumbtack and pressed into the side of the sole. It was black and blended in well with the rubber. Pulling it out carefully, he set it down on the stairs before departing the building quickly.

Dominic threw open the door of the stairwell fast, his eyes on his tracker once again. The target was stationary. He hadn't moved for over a minute. _Finally_, he thought as he realized how close he was getting. He descended the stairs, expecting to see the target as he headed down. But he saw no one. No one, but not _nothing_. His stomach fell in disappointment and anxiety as he spotted the little tracker chip sitting on the one step below him. "No," he said aloud as he hurried his pace, leaping down the last few stairs and throwing himself through the door at the bottom of the stairwell and back outside onto the street. He searched with his eyes for the target. But it was useless. He was gone.

Groaning in dread, he pulled his phone from his pocket. "He's gonna be so pissed," he muttered as he punched in a number.

"Reno," the voice on the other end of the line answered. _Sure, _Dominic thought, _Now he picks up. _

"It's Dominic," he replied reluctantly. "I uh…something happened," he began to explain uneasily.

"What the fuck do you mean something happened?" Reno fired back.

"Well, uh. Target Two left the residence under surveillance. So I followed him—"

"You what?!" Reno interjected.

"I tried to call you but you wouldn't pick up so I went after him."

"Please tell me you didn't engage the target," Reno responded. Dominic said nothing. His silence was the answer. "Goddamit!" Reno nearly shouted into the phone. "Is he with you right now?" he asked.

"Not exactly…" Dominic replied hesitantly.

"Well where the hell is he then?" Reno inquired.

"Well actually, he found the tracking chip. He detached it and took off before I could catch up with him."

"You _lost _him?!" That time Reno really did shout. Dominic had to pull the cell phone from his ear slightly.

"I just—I—" he began to stutter out a weak excuse but Reno cut him off.

"So not only did you abandon the scene without securing permission, effectively abandoning one target, but you lost the second one in the _fucking_ process?!" Reno barked. Dominic was silent. Reno groaned aloud as he thought of what he was going to tell his boss. "Alright," he said then, a little calmer. "Get back to the house. Observe the scene and make sure the other target is still there. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," Dominic answered promptly. Reno hung up on him then and he signed before flipping his phone shut and beginning his walk back to the vehicle.

000

As exhausted as he was, Cloud had a hard time convincing himself it was alright to stop running and take a deep breath. The man in the suit was far behind him now. He felt like he'd run circles around that city's lower level. When he'd finally slowed his pace to a walk he felt a wave of sickness rush up upon him. He may have thrown up if there was anything in his stomach to expel.

He felt his muscles twitching and beginning to cramp. He had to admit he'd felt a little better after he'd been given the injections of medicines back at Jacob's. But the minor relief had worn off, leaving with that rising crushing feeling all over. He needed someplace to rest. He thought about just picking a random alley. But then he saw something else. A structure that was unlike much of the city around it. It was old. Its walls made of stone. A church. It must have been there before the city was built.

He climbed the steps leading up to the large doors. Pausing a moment before pulling one of the doors open slowly. He wasn't sure what to expect on the other side of the door. The place seemed empty so he continued on, entering through the door and closing it behind him. His eyes widened slightly in wonder. Towering pillars, stained glass in every window. It was incredible, and yet none of it could compare to what he found at the back of the church. A large bed of bright yellow and white flowers. He couldn't begin to imagine how it was they were able to survive down there. But they seemed to be thriving. The place felt oddly familiar to him, and after a minute or so he had convinced himself he must have been there before.

He sat down in one of the pews, sitting there briefly before lying himself on his back and bringing his one leg up to rest on the wooden seat below him. He needed to sleep and at that moment in time he couldn't think of a better place to do it.

Across the city, Zack rubbed his stomach thinking about how hungry he was. He'd thought a few times about finding someplace to stop and eat but had decided against it. The problem of Cloud missing was a little more pressing than his hunger. Up until that point he hadn't allowed himself to feel too worried. But he was starting to realize the truth. If Cloud didn't want to be found then it was likely he'd stay missing.

_You should've just listened to him_, he thought to himself as he trudged along, his hands in his pockets. He sighed long as he thought about the possibility that Cloud was actually down in the slums. He hadn't wanted to go down there. Not yet anyway. He had planned to make his trip down there when he was ready to see Aeris again. He had been ready a few days earlier but not so much anymore. She would want to know the truth about what happened to him and he wasn't sure what he'd tell her. He alternated between being sure he'd tell her the truth and being sure he'd have to lie because he couldn't stand to tell her everything.

While his gut told him he still needed more time to figure things out, he still found himself standing outside her church, taking a breath before ascending the steps up to the doors, just as he'd done so many times before in the past. He almost hoped she wasn't there just so he could be there when she showed up. As he pulled open the one door, he tried to imagine the look she'd have when she realized he was back.

Once inside, he looked around, smiling a little as he noticed that everything was exactly as it had been the last time he'd seen it. It looked as if his hopes were going to be met as he didn't spot Aeris anywhere. He was sure he would have felt it if she were. He was shocked, however, as he began making his way down the long center aisle between the pews and something caught his eye to the left. He wasn't alone in the church at all. It was Cloud. He hadn't been able to see him because he was lying down. But as he looked at his friend he could see he was awake, his eyes open and looking toward the ceiling.

Zack cleared his throat a little though he didn't say anything as he sat down slowly in the pew behind the one Cloud was lying on. He sat in silence a moment, glancing at the doors a few times, wishing now that they were someplace else other than the church. He didn't so much like the idea of Aeris walking in now. There was also a very real tension between him and Cloud as he struggled with finding the words he should say to him. Unexpectedly, Cloud spoke first.

"How did you know where to find me?" he asked without looking away from the ceiling.

"Uh…lucky guess I suppose," Zack lied. "Are you okay?" he questioned hesitantly, though he didn't need an answer. He could tell Cloud wasn't okay. And on top of that, he was giving Zack the vibe that he really didn't want him around at the moment.

"You wearing your boots?" Cloud said instead of answering his question.

"Last I checked," he answered in slight confusion. "Why?"

"You're being tracked," his friend stated. Zack studied him to see if he was being serious.

"What?" he replied, looking down at the tops of his boots.

"Check your soles," Cloud instructed. Zack lifted his one foot to look over the boot's sole. "It's round, small and black," his friend added. Zack found the tracking piece and pulled it from his boot.

"How the hell?" he exclaimed, trying to understand how it was that they'd been tracked. He figured it out rather shortly. "Reno. Goddamn snake," he said in distain. The Turk must have planted the chips when he was in Jacob's house. Zack pocketed the chip. He would get rid of it when he got outside. "How'd you find out we were being tracked?" he asked Cloud then.

"Guess," he friend replied before sitting himself up, turning his back toward Zack. It scared Zack to think Cloud could have been caught by the Turks while he was looking for him. That's why it was so important for them to stay close to each other. Slowly, he reached forward and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"It's gonna be alright," he tried to assure him but Cloud rose from the pew suddenly, pulling away from Zack and moving into the aisle.

"Stop saying that! You keep saying that things are going to be alright, and it's _not _alright!" Cloud shouted at him. Zack lowered his eyes and exhaled slowly. No, things weren't alright. But they would be. He was determined to make that happen. He stood and moved into the aisle. He tried to close the gap between himself and Cloud but his friend stepped back. It was a simple action that cut deeply into Zack. He stayed where he was as he tried to talk to him once more.

"Please. _Please_, Cloud," he began. "I swear that from now on I'll listen to you. We won't stay anywhere you don't want to stay and we won't do anything you don't want to do."

There was silence between them then. Zack studied Cloud's expression, looking for anything that would tell him what his friend was thinking. It was hard to decipher. His arms were crossed and he continued to refuse to meet Zack's eyes.

"Why _did_ you leave?" Zack questioned after another long moment. "Was it just to get away from Jacob and his daughter or were you trying to get away from me too?" Zack inquired sadly, hoping to God Cloud didn't confirm his fears, though his actions and demeanor certainly seemed to indicate as much.

"No," Cloud answered, shaking his head.

"Then why did you leave on your own?" Zack asked after breathing out in slight relief. Cloud still refused to look directly at him as he replied, keeping his eyes on one of the stained glass windows instead.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "You were asleep and I felt like, like I couldn't breathe. At first I just went outside for some air and I just…starting walking. And you said Jacob's friend was going to be able to help you. I don't want you passing up treatment because of my issue," he explained.

"Look at me, buddy," Zack ordered and Cloud complied, finally meeting his eyes. "I'm fine. It's you that needs treatment. And if there's really something I need I'll figure it out. Okay?" Cloud nodded. "And things _are _going to be alright. I know it. So long as you don't go running off again. 'Kay?" Cloud rolled his eyes. "I'm serious, you gotta promise me you aren't going to do that again," Zack said firmly.

"Alright, fine, I promise," Cloud agreed.

"Good, now come here," Zack commanded.

"What? Why?" Cloud asked, staying put where he was.

"'Cause," Zack replied, moving toward him, a smile forming on his face.

"Why?" Cloud repeated, dropping his arms and looking at him with slight confusion. He took a step back but Zack grabbed onto him, pulling him into a tight hug. Cloud groaned.

"Shuddup," Zack silenced him. "I spent all damn day looking for you, you jerk." He released his friend then and turned for the door. "Come on, let's get out of here before we get found."

Cloud followed behind him. When they'd left the church, Zack was relieved. As worried as he was about the Turks finding them, he had been far more worried about having Aeris come into that church while Cloud was there. He knew there was no way he'd be able to lie to her about what had happened to him and Cloud but with Cloud there, how would he have been able to tell the truth, when the truth would reveal the lie he'd told his best friend? He needed some more time to figure things out. Aeris, would have to wait.


	6. Chapter 5

_Hey everyone! New chapter has finally arrived. Sorry to keep you waiting. My computer is being rediculously slow right now which is a pain in the ass. Anyway, thanks so much for your reviews. I'm definitely surprised at the number I've gotten so far. I'm so pleased to have you all reading along! Thank you so much. Honestly, if I had the time I would come to each and every one of your pages and thank you personally for adding me to your alert and favorites lists. It means so much to me but it would take a really long time to do that haha! But anyway, here's the chapter and the songs for this one are "Stars and Boulevards" by Augustana, "No More Running Away" by Air Traffic, "TwentyTwoFourteen" by The Album Leaf, and "Smile in Your Sleep" by Silverstein. All are available on either the YouTube playlist or IMEEM playlist. Also, sort of a sidenote, I don't necessarily pick songs for the chapter based on their lyrics. I often pick them just for their sound and the feeling I think comes from listening to them that relates to the chapter, but I have to say that 'Smile In Your Sleep' had some great lyrics that I like to imagine fit a sort of back and forth silent converstaion between Zack and Cloud. Hopefully that makes sense. You might see what I mean when you hear it. Okee, I'm done ^^_

Chapter V

"How could you let this happen, Reno?" Tseng asked in frustration as he rose from his chair, rounding the desk slowly. "I left _you _in charge of observing the targets' location. _Not_ Dominic. He's too new for a solo job like that. Especially one so important."

"I'm sorry, boss, but Rude and I were called in by the president for some security work. Ya know, we are supposed to adhere to a certain amount of loyalty to Shinra if we are going to keep up this charade, right?" Reno defended himself. He slouched back in one of the leather chairs in front of Tseng's desk.

Tseng threw him a chastising look for calling their recent choices a charade. He was well aware that Reno wasn't as impassioned about the cause they had decided to fight for as he was. The same was true of Rude and the few others like Dominic who'd chosen to follow Tseng's lead. Cissnei was far more determined and shared Tseng's urgency and need for change.

Still, as Reno had pointed out, it was important that no one know of their secret agenda. There were coworkers close to them who were fully supportive of the president and were willing to kill over subordination. Even if the subordinates were fellow Turks. Even if one of them happened to be the leader of the Turks.

"I understand the reason for your decision to have Dominic take your place, Reno, but you did it without authorization. And now the targets are lost," Tseng lectured, pulling on the cuffs of his dress shirt lightly to straighten them.

"We'll find them again," Reno stated confidently. "I mean, how hard can it be? They're on their own, with no money and in need of medical attention. It'll be a piece of cake."

"I think you're highly underestimating Fair's abilities," Tseng retorted. "Let's not forget what he once was and in many ways still is. A first class SOLDIER."

"Fine," Reno surrendered to the reasoning, throwing a hand in the air. "But the kid," he added firmly. "He'll mess up eventually and make himself known."

"You're sure about that," his boss said with clear doubt.

"Absolutely," Reno reaffirmed.

000

"We gotta find a place to crash," Zack declared as he trudged along just slightly ahead of Cloud. He was exhausted, though he hated to admit it. Cloud wasn't looking so good himself. Whatever magic the drugs he'd been administered in the early hours of that morning had done on him, it had worn off and he was back to looking ill and weaker than he should be. He did a hell of a job trying to seem better off than he was however. At least he seemed to be doing a better job than Zack. He couldn't hide the fact he was in pain. Out of all his injuries, his hip ached the most, forcing him into a slight limp.

He was focused on getting away from Sector 5. Away from the memories that choked him down when he was there. If he could have his way he wouldn't stop walking until he was on the other side of the city slums but he was going to have to settle for Sector 7.

"So in other words, you're looking for a nice alley to lie down in?" Cloud asked from behind him.

"Come now, Spike, we can do better than that. I'm thinking something more like an actual apartment," Zack replied over his shoulder.

"Well I'm sure a lot of these places are empty, we could just pick one," Cloud pointed out, referring to the mass of dilapidated buildings around them.

"Perhaps I should have been more specific. Something with relatively clean running water would be preferable."

Cloud displayed a skeptical look though Zack didn't see it. He was highly doubtful of them finding anything all that clean in their immediate surroundings. Not that he cared all that much, he just wanted Zack to pick a place for them to stop.

"I think you have some pretty high expectations considering we have no money," he commented as he gazed up at an old statue of a woman. It was splayed with cracks and chips. He didn't recognize her as anyone special but that meant very little coming from him and his limited knowledge of things at the moment.

"Psh, we have money," Zack retorted.

"How much money?" Cloud inquired after pulling his attention away from the sights around him.

"Probably not enough for an apartment," his friend answered.

"I stand by what I said about you having high expectations," he said with a sigh as they passed into an area of more activity in the sector. It didn't seem like a bad place to live, in comparison to some of the other areas they'd walked through. There were a fair amount of shops set up and a lot more people walking around than they'd seen over the past hour since they'd left what Zack had called Sector 6.

_"Sector Six is rich-town of the slums," _Zack had declared when they were passing through. At the time he said it, Cloud had raised an eyebrow, surprised to hear him say anything that indicated he knew something about the place they were in. Cloud had been under the impression that Zack's memory was just as absent as his was but his friend seemed to know where he was going, like he'd been there a million times before and knew what was around the corner. Cloud didn't question it though. He was too tired to question it. But he would want to talk to Zack about it later.

"Hello, I think we got a winner. Housing _and _a job," Zack commented as he stopped suddenly. Cloud nearly walked into him. He followed Zack's eyes to where he was looking. A repair shop. There were two signs in the one window, a 'Help Wanted' sign and an 'Apartment for Rent' sign. He turned to see if his friend was serious. "What?" he questioned when he noticed Cloud's doubt-filled look.

"How do you even know you're any good at fixing things?" Cloud asked.

"Well…" Zack scratched the back of his head. "How hard can it be really?" He looked at his friend to see his expression unchanged. "I'll fix you, how 'bout that!" he threw at him before grabbing him and messing with his hair.

"Fine!" Cloud said loudly, pulling himself free of Zack.

"Let's go," Zack said happily as he began to cross the street.

A small bell rang when Zack pushed the door to the shop open and both he and Cloud looked up at where the sound had come from. The instrument was hanging from the ceiling. Zack realized suddenly that there must have been hundreds of sounds he and Cloud had grown accustomed to not hearing while in captivity. They were going to have to rediscover them all. They were also bombarded with several smells. Oil, dust, some sort of cleaning product and cigar smoke.

The place was just as one would imagine looking at it from the outside. A little dark with tools and replacement parts for various machines cluttered all over. Somewhere towards the back there was a radio on, the news being reported barely audible over the sound of static. Zack and Cloud approached the counter. A man was visible a few meters away sitting at a table with the stub of a cigar in his mouth and some sort of contraption in front of him. He looked to be a shorter, wider man. Middle-aged and balding. He made only the slightest indication he was aware of Zack and Cloud's presence.

"Hey, how ya doin'?" Zack greeted the man. He gave a grunt in reply. "Uh, you the owner?" he asked and the man looked up, his eyes barely visible behind the reflections on his thick glasses.

"Could be," the man replied.

"You got an 'Apartment for Rent' sign in your window," Zack said, pointing behind him.

"You interested?" the man asked, taking the cigar stub from his mouth.

"Could be," Zack answered with a smirk. The man seemed less than amused. He neared the counter.

"Rent's fifty a week and I want first hundred up front."

"Uh, about that. My brother and I," Zack began to explain, glancing back at Cloud "are just startin' out on our own. Don't really have any money at the moment. But hopefully we can work something out."

The man stared at him. "How's that?" he inquired.

"Well…you got this 'Help Wanted' sign in the window…" Zack said with a hopeful smile.

Twenty minutes later, Zack unlocked the door to their new apartment upstairs. He and Cloud stood just inside for a few moments, letting their eyes wander over everything. It was two rooms basically, not counting the bathroom, the living room and kitchen together in one main area. The bedroom was separate. The place obviously hadn't been lived in for a few years and probably hadn't been cleaned in that long, if not longer.

"Wow…so…it's…" Zack struggled with a description.

"Gross?" Cloud suggested, taking a look at the kitchen to the right.

"It's cheap," Zack said happily as he shut the door. "And fully furnished."

"And occupied," Cloud added as he watched a small grey mouse running along the baseboard across the room.

"Well it's the only home we got now so I guess we should get used to it," Zack said as he wandered into what was presumably the bathroom. "Wha-ho! I do think I'll be peeing outside for now though," he called out. Cloud sat down slowly on the old couch in the main area, sinking down further than he had been expecting as the springs gave way. He leaned forward as he rested his arms on his knees. Zack emerged from the bathroom and approached him. "You okay, buddy?" he asked as he took a seat next to Cloud.

"Yeah," Cloud answered softly, looking down at his wrists where the metal discs were peeking out from the sleeves of his shirt. "I'm just…thinking." Zack sighed softly, looking away. His friend wanted so badly to remember things. To forget all that had happened would be a blessing. Too bad Cloud couldn't see that. "Are you sure there's _nothing _you can tell me?" Cloud prodded, thinking back on earlier when Zack had made the comment about Sector 6.

"Uh…I'm pretty sure," Zack said as he leaned back and rested his head on the back of the couch. "All I really know is that I woke up in some weird place with you and didn't really stick around to ask questions. Just grabbed you and left."

"But you remember Midgar?" It was more a statement than a question. Zack didn't look at Cloud. He seemed to be thinking. "I mean, you know more about it than I do," Cloud added.

"Um, yeah…I guess I do," Zack answered reluctantly. He looked at Cloud then to see that his answer wasn't going to cut it. "The city is uh…divided into sectors, as you've seen. Above the slums is the plate. And it's all divided up the same. It's a lot different up there…"

"Different?" Cloud questioned, shaking his head. "How?"

"It's…brighter. Cleaner. Healthier—It's getting kinda late, Spike, I better get out and get us a few things. Like food." Zack stood up slowly, wincing a little before shrugging off the pain in his body. He looked down at his friend. It wasn't hard to see that he was unsatisfied by the small details Zack had provided about the city. Zack pretended not to see that. "You should stay and rest, keep yourself as relaxed as possible. Less chance that way of the poison in your body taking over. I'll see about finding someplace I can get the medicines you need."

"Don't worry about it, Zack," Cloud replied quickly. "I'm fine. At least for tonight," he assured his friend.

"Really?" Zack asked. It was hard to tell with Cloud. He was good at hiding what he was really feeling.

"I swear. Just get back so you can rest yourself," he urged. "I'm not the one who was shot nine times."

That fact still seemed unreal to Zack. While he certainly felt like crap, in no way did he feel like he'd taken that much damage. "Alright…" he said a little uneasily. "You'll be here when I get back, right?"

Cloud exhaled. "Yes, I'll be here, Zack, just go." He forced a bit of a smile in hopes it would put his friend at ease.

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit. Avoid the bathroom if you can," he said with a light laugh before leaving the apartment.

It was _so _hard for Zack to walk out the door. Though once he'd made it out onto the street he was able to set aside his paranoia and focus on getting the few things they needed, mainly food. They didn't exactly have grocery stores in the slums. But there were markets and shops that sold certain things. Like milk. Zack marveled at the cartons lined up in a refrigerated unit in the one store.

"Oh man…" he said aloud in awe. _It's been forever since I had milk. Or cereal. Or bacon, or cheese, or bologna! _He didn't actually like bologna but it had been a damn long time since he'd eaten any. _Focus,_ he scolded himself. He only needed to pick up the essentials and knew it wouldn't be the best idea to buy anything that needed to be cooked since he had no idea if the appliances in the apartment worked. That meant anything that needed to be refrigerated was a no no as well. _Goodbye for now, milk_, Zack thought sadly.

He left the store with some canned fruit, bottles of water, bread peanut butter, and _two _kinds of jam. Oh, variety. He also managed to find himself a place to get a can opener, paper towels and some plastic cutlery and plates next door. He had one more stop to make. The market. It was the only place he could think of that he would find someone selling sheets or blankets. He haggled for about fifteen minutes with the one guy he managed to find selling any before giving in and paying a price he was convinced was too high. _Whatever_, he thought as he was leaving the market with a set of sheets and two cotton blankets. _I'd pay anything to not sleep on that mattress without at least something separating it from my bare skin. _

When he arrived back at 'home' he half-expected to open the door and find Cloud gone. But he was right where he'd been when Zack had left. Sitting on the couch. Though he was staring at the screen on the old television sitting on a stand a few feet away. There was nothing but static on it, which wasn't surprising. It was hard to get a signal for anything down in the slums. Zack set down the bags he was holding and moved around to the front of the couch, dropping down next to Cloud and letting out a long exhale of relief. He pretty much never wanted to get up again. His body would have been grateful.

"So. What are we watching?" he asked as he squinted to try and make out anything on the television besides white fuzz. "A snow storm right?"

"You know, if you stare at it long enough you actually start to see shapes forming," Cloud replied without tearing his eyes off the screen.

"I believe it. Stare at it even longer and you'll probably start to see naked ladies," Zack joked as he forced himself to rise again. He reached into one of the bags he'd brought back to the apartment and pulled out the jar of peanut butter. He tore open the package of plastic cutlery and retrieved a spoon before twisting the lid off the jar in his other hand and scooped some peanut butter onto the spoon. Placing the spoon in his mouth, he drew it back out slowly, letting his tongue and lips pull the peanut butter from it.

"Fan-flippin'-tastic," he remarked to himself as the taste filled his mouth and he made his way over to the kitchen area. He opened the cupboards, checking to see if anything had been left behind by the last tenant. "One cup, one plate," he noted aloud as he opened the first few doors. He opened the third. "And one bowl. Ya know, I think the last person to live here was a bit of a loner." He pulled open the fridge then. Despite the light not coming on when the door was opened it still felt cold inside. He checked the stove. "Well, the appliances work," he called over to Cloud. "Wish I'd checked that _before _I went out," he added to himself.

He pulled open one of the cupboards under the sink. "Oh wow, cleaning stuff! So at least someone _intended _at some point to clean this place up a little," he remarked, setting down the jar of peanut butter on the counter and reaching down for one of the bottles. A multi-purpose cleanser. "Hey, buddy, wanna make yourself useful and hand me the paper towels I got?" he spoke to Cloud over his shoulder. He heard the sound of the springs in the couch whining as Cloud rose and headed over to the bags Zack had left at the door.

"Here," he said as he handed the paper towels to Zack.

"Thankths," Zack tried to reply after placing the plastic spoon back in his mouth. He sprayed the cleaner over the countertop, letting it soak in a few seconds before attempting to use the paper towel to scrub away the remnants of grease and dirt built up on it.

"You get any cups?" Cloud questioned and Zack looked back at him to see him holding one of the large bottles of water he'd picked up at the store.

"No, just drink out of bottle," he instructed. "You don't mind sharing do you? I promise I don't have cooties," he added with a smirk.

Cloud snorted. "Yeah, right. You probably do," he stated before taking a swig out of the bottle in his hand.

"Watch it!" Zack warned, picking up the spray bottle nearby. "I have multi-purpose cleaner. It'll clean counters _and_ kick your ass," he tried to say seriously.

"Ooooh," Cloud mocked, holding his hands up in front of him in pseudo-fear.

"That's it," Zack declared as he set the cleaner down and grabbed the jar of peanut butter. "You're getting peanut butter in your hair," he stated as he moved in on Cloud. Cloud avoided him, rounding the couch.

"You're not touching my hair," he said firmly, though he was smiling, still holding the bottle of water in his hand.

"Aw, come on. I'll cut it for you," Zack offered, following after him as they walked circles around the couch, Cloud still trying to evade him.

"You're gonna get some water thrown in your face," Cloud threatened. "And it won't be this either," he said in reference to water he was holding. "It'll be that crap from that tap over there." He pointed into the kitchen.

"Alright, fine," Zack said, rolling his eyes as he turned around to set the peanut butter down. "Truce?" he offered as he turned back to Cloud and reached his hand across the couch. Cloud looked down at it before reaching his own hand out to grasp his. Something squished between his fingers and he pulled back, knowing well what it was.

"Zaaack," he said with a groan of disgust looking at the peanut butter in his hand. His friend laughed aloud as he reached for one of the paper towels. "You're such a loser," Cloud declared as he went towards him and grabbed the towels from him.

"And that's why you love me," Zack commented with a grin before reaching for the rest of the food he'd bought.

After they'd filled themselves with sandwiches and fruit, both were eager to sleep. They covered the mattress on the bed in the bedroom with the sheets and blankets Zack had bought. It only occurred to Zack then that they may want pillows to sleep on. So they were going to have do without for the night. Not that Zack really cared. He couldn't speak for Cloud but he'd gotten so used to not having one while in their cell in the Shinra Mansion's basement that it made little difference to him. He pulled off his sweater, shirt, and boots, flopping down on the freshly made bed, sighing a little as he sank into the surface below him.

"See you in the morning," Cloud said suddenly, and Zack raised himself onto his elbows.

"Where you going?" he asked.

"To the couch," Cloud said as though it should be obvious.

"Oh come on, Spike. The bed's like queen-sized. There's plenty of room," Zack pointed out, inwardly laughing a little at Cloud's expression. If only he knew how many times they'd slept right next to each other in their cell in the Mansion. When Cloud made no movement towards the bed he sat up. "Fine, I'll take the couch," he muttered.

"No," Cloud protested softly. "It's…it's fine," he said, removing his own boots and sweater but leaving on his shirt before laying himself down on the other side of the bed. By the way Cloud tried to make sure the sleeves on his shirt covered his wrists Zack suspected it had something to do with the ports.

"I've seen them, you know," Zack said lightly, turning on his side to face his friend. "You don't have to hide them," he stated.

"It's not you I'm hiding them from," his friend explained quietly. He was hiding them from himself.

"Hey," Zack spoke after a moment of heavy silence. Cloud turned his head to look at him. "We'll find a way to have them removed, alright?"

Cloud's eyes locked with Zack's. One word escaped from him, said with so much hope and want. "Promise?"

"I _promise_," Zack assured him with every part of his being. If there was a way he'd find it.

It took next to no time for Zack and Cloud to fall asleep that night. They were both exhausted. Zack wasn't sure how many hours had passed when he woke but the room was dark and eerily quiet. He was lying on his left side, facing away from Cloud. He rolled over slowly to check on him, pausing once and sucking in a breath. His back was giving him a lot of pain. He'd checked on the stitches on the front of his torso a few times to make sure what infection he did have wasn't too bad but he hadn't really been able to get a look at his back.

When he was finally facing Cloud, he noticed right away that he was awake. Or at least he appeared to be. His eyes were open and he was staring at the ceiling.

"Spike, you okay?" he questioned softly. Cloud said nothing. An uneasy feeling rose up inside Zack then as he lifted himself onto his one elbow. "Spikey?" he said hesitantly. He studied his friend's face and realized suddenly that Cloud's eyes were unblinking, seemingly frozen open. Fear struck Zack like a hit to the chest as he sat up quickly reaching to turn on the light next to the bed. He was struck with the worst thought imaginable. That Cloud had been lying dead next to him for God knows how long. However, in the light his skin seemed flushed, not pale as he was expecting. Kneeling next to him, Zack checked Cloud's pulse just the same, holding his fingers against his friend's neck until he felt the slight push against his finger tips. It was only a little relieving to feel it. His skin felt hot. He realized then that Cloud was trembling and sweating all over. In one motion, Zack pulled the bedding back from his body.

He placed his hands on the sides of Cloud's face, shaking his head a little as he tried to snap his friend out of his trance-like state. "Cloud, look at me!" he demanded, focusing on his eyes and waiting to see some form of movement in them, or something to indicate he was seeing anything at all. All he noticed was that Cloud's eyes were watering as his body tried instinctively to lubricate them and keep them from drying out. "Come on, buddy, wake up," Zack urged as he shook him a little more insistently. He felt the panic rising up into his throat, threatening to choke him. Cloud had said he would be fine for another night but he should have trusted his instincts and gotten the medicines Cloud needed. He continued to call his name and shake him, using all his self-control not to shake too roughly out of frustration and fear.

After several tense minutes, Cloud's eyelids fell shut. But that was it. He still made no indication that he was awake or aware of Zack trying to get his attention.

"Alright," Zack spoke, choosing to take the action as a bit of a good sign. Reaching for the hemline on the bottom of Cloud's shirt he peeled the damp material off his body, doing the same with his pants, hoping the removal of his clothing would cool him down a bit. "Spike, I'm going to leave you here to go find the medicines you need, okay?" He turned his friend onto his side, positioning him so that if he happened to throw up it would be safer to do so. He got himself dressed then, moving with a determination that had him feeling next to nothing. He left the apartment only looking back once, that twinge of worry prodding in his gut. He was so afraid to come back and find Cloud in even worse shape.

As he burst into the night air he knew exactly were he was headed. He knew of one clinic in the sector. It was pretty secure as far as he knew. But it had been over four years. The clinic may not even be there anymore. His first year in SOLDIER, he and a few of the other newbies had been assigned to provide protection for pharmaceutical workers making supply runs to various locations around the slums. It was no secret that Shinra neglected the world beneath them on a general level but they had been good about keep the clinics and pharmacies stocked.

Provided the clinic in Sector 7 was still in operation, Zack had a basic idea of the defense systems in place. A typical security system with an alarm set off by entrance through one of the two doors in the building. After twenty seconds, if the alarm was not disarmed, authorities up on the plate would be alerted. He could try to disarm it but it was unlikely he'd be able to in the limited amount of time. In approximately one minute and forty-five seconds robots in the slums would be activated and sent directly to the clinic. He would have just over two minutes to get what he needed and get out. Shinra didn't care much for people of the slums but the company certainly cared about keeping its drugs secure.

He felt he had surpassed one obstacle already when he came upon the clinic he was hoping to find. He headed for the back of the building. Surveillance cameras. Two of them. Those were a new feature. Still within the confines of the darkness, Zack removed his sweater and shirt, folding his shirt and covering the lower half of his face with it, tying it at the back of his head. He pulled his sweater back on and headed into the sight of the cameras. There was a key pad on the door. Easy to get through. He knew dozens of bypass codes. On his second try, the door clicked open and although he couldn't hear it, he knew that the buildings alarm system had been triggered. In approximately two minutes, authorities up on the plate would be sending out their bots. The race was on.


	7. Chapter 6

_Hi guys, this is a pretty long chapter, I'll just say that up front so you aren't surprised as you're going. I don't really like them to be longer than 12 pages typically but I had a specific ending in mind for the chapter and was determined to keep it that way regardless of how long it ended up as lol. Mind you, it's not HUGE. It's about 16 pages in MS Word. Thank you so much again for your reveiws and for reading. It's great hearing from you guys so I hope you continue to give me your thoughts on the chapters. _

_The songs for this chapter are: 'Mama' by Genesis, 'Dig' by Incubus, 'Strange & Beautiful' by Aqualung, and 'Legendary' by Lou Barlow. I was only able to find live performances for Mama and Strange and Beautiful to put up on YouTube so I highly recommend listening to the songs on IMEEM or elsewhere to get the better quality (not-live) songs. Strange and Beautiful can also be found on Aqualung's myspace page. (http:// www. myspace. com/aqualung). _

Chapter VI

Zack had only made it just inside the back of the clinic when he realized immediately there was a problem. Not an impossible problem to overcome, but a problem nevertheless. The door leading into the pharmaceutical supply area was locked. And there was no keypad. He would need to pick the lock in order to get into the room.

"Not good," he muttered as jiggled the doorknob in his hand. There wasn't enough time to try to find something to pick the lock with. The lock didn't seem like the most secure in the world. It wasn't a deadbolt. Taking a large step back he took a breath and lifted his right leg before sending his heel into the door just next to the doorknob. Nothing. "Oh, come on," he said with slight exaggeration. Surely he could kick down a door. Raising his leg again, he tried once more. This time, the frame around the door cracked. It was enough. Using his shoulder, he was able to push through where he found himself hesitating a moment as he looked around at the stocked shelves in front of him. Now came the trickier part. Relying on his memory to tell him which of the drugs were the ones he needed.

He skimmed over the labels on the mass of bottles, picking out ones that looked familiar. A few were easier to remember. He couldn't be positive about a few of the others. Almost positive. But not completely. It made him nervous not knowing for sure but he didn't have time to second-guess his instincts.

He set the bottles of liquid down on the counter in front of him as he moved, ever-aware that his time was running out. He located a bag in one of the cupboards that would be good for transporting his stolen goods. He placed the bottles in as softly as possible while trying to keep up a quick pace. He searched the drawers then for syringes, finding them rather fast. He took a handful of the plastic wrapped instruments and shoved them in the bag. The rest was easy to find. Bandages, gauze, tape, alcohol. He loaded up as much as he could before zipping the bag shut and pulling the strap over his head to position it on his one shoulder. He looked at the clock on the wall before leaving the room. He'd managed to get everything he needed in just over two minutes. Hopefully he'd been fast enough.

Standing at the back door, he gripped the door handle and pulled it open gently, just a few centimeters. He didn't hear anything. Which basically meant nothing. Security robots could be very discrete. Taking in another breath to steady himself, he peered out through the small gap between the door and the frame. His ears picked up instantly the clicking sound of several bots' firearms being engaged. He pushed the door shut just as a line of bullets sped toward him. He jumped back and ducked at the same time to be safe. He wasn't sure what type of rounds the bots were using or if they could pierce through the metal door. When he looked up, he could see that while the bullets had dented the door, they hadn't penetrated it.

"Great," Zack said as he contemplated his next move. He could kiss any typical exit goodbye. The roof was likely his only option. There was a vent in the waiting room at the front of the building. It would be a tight fit but it was his best bet. Pulling one of the tables over and stacking a chair on top of it, he prepared to make his way upwards. He stood on the chair and pulled the cover off the vent before reaching up into it. He hoped to hell the vents would hold his weight. As he hoisted himself up into the small space, he held his breath, waiting a moment to see if he was going to be crashing back to the ground in a second's time. The vent seemed to be supporting him. He set to work finding his way out.

Fortunately, the building being small, it wasn't a long trip to the roof. He pushed off the grated cover that separated him from the night and pulled himself from the vent just in time to catch a glimpse of a bot rising up into view as it hovered above the pavement below it. Grabbing the vent cover, Zack headed to his right, shielding himself with the cover as the bot began firing at him. It was firing light rounds, thankfully. Not the same that had been shot at the door down on ground level. The bullets struck the vent cover and ricocheted off of it as Zack ran for the next building. He leapt for it, landing on his feet and trying not to break his momentum by slowing down. The bot was still on him and he was running out of surface to run on. There was no next building.

He was only one story up. It wouldn't be too bad a jump. Throwing the vent cover toward the bot like a disc whizzing through the air, he grabbed the bag at his back, holding it tightly to his abdomen with one hand as he ran right off the edge of the building. His feet touched the pavement and he rolled forward to break the pressure of the landing.

He exhaled in relief as he pushed himself forward back into a run, knowing well that the bots were still after him. He didn't need to turn to confirm it. He was going to have to be nothing short of fast to outrun them. And fast he was. He moved like his life depended on it. Because it did. But outside of the pain caused by his still-healing wounds in his body, he knew his endurance would hold. An improvement brought on through Hojo's fitness testing. Zack had to shake his thoughts away. For a moment he felt something. Like gratitude. Gratitude for the improvements that were going to grant him escape from the bots chasing him. Gratitude to…Hojo? No. Never. He'd never be grateful for what that monster had done to him and Cloud.

He managed at last to lose the bots as he passed into Sector 8. He hadn't wanted to lead them back to the apartment where he and Cloud were living now so he'd made the decision to loop back around once he'd gotten rid of them. It was in Sector 8 that his pain began to take over. Having ignored his body's protests at his hurried movement for several minutes, he was a little surprised when he found himself stumbling to the ground. The muscles in his legs were pulsating with hot aching. In the back of his mind he was acutely aware that he'd torn the stitches in his hip while running and he was bleeding, the blood seeping into the material of his pants. He fought hard against the vertigo making his head spin, sliding his one foot forward from below him and attempting to rise, placing a hand on the wall next to him.

"Come on, Zack," he urged himself aloud through heavy breathing. He had survived Hojo and his lab and managed to get all the way to Midgar with Cloud in tow, enduring the elements outside and any obstacles in his way. Surely he could do _this_.

The people on the street were watching him closely. He knew that the longer he stayed on the ground the more he was drawing attention to himself. Labeling himself as a target. If he didn't move along quickly he'd be faced with the possibility of losing the items he'd just fought to get. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the slow approach of two teenagers. He forced himself to a stand, straightening himself as much as possible and walking away at a quick pace without looking back. The most he was able to accomplish the rest of the way back to the apartment was a gait somewhere between a fast walk and a light jog.

When he finally reached the apartment, he entered quickly and went for the bedroom, praying that when he set eyes upon Cloud he wouldn't be in any worse shape than he'd left him. To his shock, Cloud was lying on the floor next to the bed. Zack couldn't help but feel a strange relief. If he'd moved himself enough to get onto the floor then at least it was likely he wasn't comatose. Not yet anyway. Zack knelt next to his still-trembling friend in the small space between the bed and the wall, placing a hand on the side of Cloud's neck and face, his fingers grasping him lightly as he traced his thumb over his right cheek. Before he'd uttered a word, Cloud's eyelids lifted slightly.

"Zack," he spoke, his voice barely reaching above a whisper. Zack smiled.

"How come you're down here on the floor, buddy?" he asked lightly, though he was truly curious. Cloud seemed to be thinking about his answer.

"I…woke up…and you were gone…" he began to explain slowly. It seemed to be taking some effort for him to do so. "I-I got confused…I tried to get up. Couldn't stand."

"What were you confused about?" Zack questioned, shaking his head a little.

"I thought..." Cloud began to reply but hesitated, taking in a breath. "I thought you weren't…coming back," he revealed.

Zack could see the emotion in Cloud's eyes as he spoke. Cloud had really truly thought he'd left him there alone.

"It's okay, Spike," he assured Cloud, setting aside his thoughts and focusing on the situation at hand. "I got the stuff that's going to make you feel better," he explained, reaching into the bag of stolen goods next to him and starting to pull out the bottles of medicines he'd brought home with him. He didn't want to waste one more second in getting those liquids into his friend.

For a brief moment he worried again about whether he'd grabbed the right medicines and feared what might happen to Cloud if they weren't the right ones. He pushed those thoughts down. He trusted his memory and there wasn't time to go against it. Peeling open the plastic on one of the syringes quickly, he prepared himself to make the first injection. He filled the thin syringe with the first liquid, tapping it and giving the pump a light squeeze to release any air before lowering it to Cloud's left arm. He found it incredible that even in the state he was in now, Cloud was about to protest. His friend said nothing but Zack could tell he wanted to. Wanted to refuse the injection. But he managed to hold back, closing his eyes and waiting while Zack gave him the two following injections he was expecting.

"Alright," Zack said when he'd finished the final injection and set the syringe down. "Let's get you back into the bed," he suggested, crouching before reaching under Cloud's arms and pulling him upward as he stood. Cloud was little more than dead weight in his hands, though his friend seemed to be trying to make an effort to help get himself moved. Zack got him laid down, urging him onto his left side, still anticipating the possibility of Cloud throwing up at some point. He sat himself down on the edge of the mattress at Cloud's back, twisting toward his friend with a hand still on Cloud's one arm. He moved his hand to Cloud's forehead, brushing away his bangs from his face and watching as his friend's body began to relax, the tension starting to leave Cloud's muscles.

"Okay, buddy?" he asked softly.

"It's cuh-cold," Cloud stuttered out, his eyes closed. The room was certainly not cold and Zack could feel that his friend's body was still hot. It would be best if he remained uncovered. Still, he couldn't leave his friend without at least a little comfort.

"Just a sheet, okay?" he said as he stood himself up once again and reached for the thin sheet he'd pulled off Cloud earlier with the other bedding. Cloud clutched onto the sheet weakly, drawing his legs in closer to himself, trying to get warm. "I'll be right back, buddy," Zack spoke up again as he reached for the bottles of medicine on the floor, setting them on top of the nearby dresser. He grabbed hold of the bag of supplies and headed to the door. "I'll just be around the corner," he added and waited to see Cloud's slight nod before leaving the room.

He reached for the light switch on the wall when he entered the bathroom, trying not to notice how gross the room was as he removed his sweater stiffly and began peeling off the already loosely-gripping tape holding down the bandages over his stitched bullet wounds. He noticed something right away. Some of the wounds were healing faster than the others. Very fast in fact. It looked to be only a matter of days before he would be removing the stitches in those areas. Some of the wounds though, weren't healing quite as well. The ones that were infected. They weren't bad. They would be easily dealt with himself using the antibiotics and cleaning supplies he'd retrieved from the clinic. But his back was a different story. He couldn't handle that alone. He needed Cloud to help him and he'd need his help soon before the infection got out of hand and he needed _real _medical assistance.

He held a bottle of one of the liquid antibiotics in his hand. He had no clear idea of how much would be the right amount to administer himself. He turned the bottle over, imagining doubtfully there being a set of instructions on the back. Of course, there wasn't. He wished suddenly he'd been paying closer attention when the doctor friend of Jacob's had given him an injection. He'd been too focused on Cloud. The volume the doctor had sucked up into the syringe hadn't been much. He knew that. He sighed a little in frustration as he accepted the fact he was going to have to estimate and take a chance.

He stuck the tip of the needle through the rubber top on the bottle and pulled back on the pump, drawing some of the clear liquid into the plastic tube of the syringe. Satisfied with the amount, he pulled the needle from the bottle and prepared to administer himself the antibiotic, turning his left arm over and touching the needle to the skin his inner elbow. He'd had to inject himself a lot over the time when he'd escaped from the Shinra Mansion with Cloud and was making his way toward Midgar. The discomfort of the feeling never changed, though most of the time he was so eager for the rush he would get after that he paid no mind to the feeling. A part of him longed for that rush again, the intense reaction he felt inside himself when he was injected with the compound of drugs Hojo had been forcing upon him in the lab.

He'd run out of those drugs shortly after setting foot on the Eastern Continent and the few days following hadn't been pleasant. He'd had withdrawal effects. Shaking, sweating, his head pounding, and his stomach tight and cramped, he'd forced himself on, trying not to dwell on what he was feeling, or worse, thinking of how much he wanted those drugs.

He still wanted them. _Never again_, he told himself, reminding himself at the same time that he was grateful for the freedom he and Cloud now had. Even if he wasn't sure he believed that yet. After cleaning himself up and re-bandaging the wounds on his torso, he headed back into the bedroom where he lay himself down slowly next to Cloud, turning onto his side to face him. His friend appeared to be asleep, still trembling a little under the cover of the sheet over him.

"Oh man…" Zack said with a sad sigh. "What am I gonna do, buddy?" he asked his sleeping friend. He wanted so bad for them to be able to have a life. To get back the time that had been stolen from them. There was no getting it back. And they were far from being free. But he just cared about Cloud so damn much and wanted to believe there was going to be a normal life for him. He knew Cloud was never going to have the dream he'd been refused. The dream of being a SOLDIER. Right now, Cloud wasn't aware of what he'd lost. But Zack was sure his friend would remember one day. He would remember the painful past he'd had. Even before he and Zack had experienced Hell with Hojo. And he would realize he had no one. Well not no one. But that's how he was likely to feel.

Again, Zack had to tell himself not to contemplate himself into madness. He needed to get some sleep. He was expected to be down in the shop in a mere five hours to start his new job. He wasn't physically or mentally ready to begin working yet but there wasn't really a choice. He needed to start paying for their new home and they needed money for food and clothing. They weren't going to last long on what they had.

He tore his eyes off Cloud a moment to turn and switch the light off next to the bed. As his eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness, he looked on at his friend a few minutes more before he allowed himself to slip into sleep.

The small alarm clock next to the bed on the end table seemed to go off just minutes after Zack had fallen asleep. He didn't feel anywhere close to rested. It took him another few moments to force himself out of the bed. He was incredibly sore. He cracked a few of his joints in his back and shoulders before turning to check on Cloud. His friend, as far as he could tell, hadn't moved in the past few hours. He was still on his side, facing Zack. He was unmoving, but Zack could see from where he was that Cloud was breathing steadily. Slowly, he reached across the bed to touch his friend's partially exposed shoulder. He placed the back of his hand against his cheek then, feeling that his temperature had dropped again. He was going to have to wake Cloud up to give him another set of injections before he left for work.

He put on his shirt and went into the bathroom, washing his face off. He stood out in the kitchen a few minutes, drinking down some water and trying not to think too hard about the day ahead. A repair shop. He smirked a little. He wasn't a handyman really. But he'd had to fix his fair share of things in SOLDIER. He'd been trained to.

He took a breath and let it out slowly before heading back into the bedroom. He turned on the lamp next to the bed and reached over once again towards Cloud. He nudged him gently until he began to stir.

"Spikey," he spoke quietly, waiting as his friend opened his eyes slowly and looked up at him. "How you feelin,' kid?" Zack questioned with a greeting smile.

"Mhm…tired," Cloud replied a little hoarsely. "And like I've been stepped on," he added.

"I'm sorry, Spike," Zack replied. "I gotta give you another round of shots before I leave. Then you can go back to sleep."

"Before you leave…" Cloud repeated.

"For work," Zack said and then laughed a little. "I work now." Cloud cracked a small smile. He shook his head a little. "Yeah, yeah," Zack said as he rolled his eyes. "Come on, sit up for a minute," he urged as he patted Cloud's one leg. Cloud groaned as Zack began preparing a syringe. "Quit whining," Zack threw back at him. "All you have to do is sit there."

"I know," Cloud responded as he pulled himself up slowly. "It's just…" he trailed off and Zack looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Do…do you ever see anything when you look at the needles?" his friend managed to question slowly. "Or like..._feel _anything?" he added.

Zack stared at him. "Like what?" he asked hesitantly. "What do you see?" he tried to question without sounding too prodding.

"Uh. Well, it's kind of fuzzy but…chairs," Cloud revealed. "And a—a table."

Zack tried to play dumb, though he knew exactly what Cloud had seen. "You mean like in a kitchen or dining room?" he asked. Cloud shook his head.

"No. The table was like a…a—an operating table," his friend explained. "And the chairs had some kind of restraints on them. Like…leather." He looked at Zack for confirmation that anything he had seen might be true. "Have you…seen anything like that?"

Zack shook his head slowly. Cloud seemed a little disappointed but his expression neutralized quickly enough as Zack lowered the syringe in his hand to his friend's arm.

When he'd finished with the following two injections, Zack rose from the bed and turned to face Cloud. "I'll be back tonight but I'll come up to check on you whenever I get a break," he told his friend. "Get some rest, alright?" Cloud nodded and watched Zack leave before sliding himself back down onto his side in the bed.

Zack made his way down the steps outside at the back of the building, thankful that the apartment was directly above the shop. He liked the idea of not having to travel very far away from Cloud. Especially right now. While he was confident that his friend was going to be alright, he still feared something happening to him while he was out of the apartment.

His new boss was sitting near the back of the shop with a cigar in his mouth as he read over a newspaper.

"You showed up," the man remarked without looking at him. The man's name, as Zack had found out the day before, was Shell. Or at least, that's what he called himself.

"You had doubts?" Zack replied with a casual grin.

"I just know better than to expect too much from…kids," Shell said as he glanced sideways at Zack.

"Well, lucky for you, I'm not one. I'm…uh…" Zack realized suddenly it had been a hell of a long time since he'd given his age any thought. "Well, I guess I'm twenty-four," he muttered as he scratched the back of his head.

"You guess?" Shell asked.

"Yeah…" Zack agreed. "So what am I doing today?" he inquired, initiating the official change of subject. Without a word, Shell rose from his chair and headed further into the back of the store. Zack approached the table where he'd been sitting, looking down at the newspaper page he'd been looking at. An article near the end of the page read: _Sector 7 clinic robbed; suspect eludes authorities_. "Great," Zack muttered, skimming the article to see if any physical details of the 'suspect' had been provided. As far as he could see there weren't any.

"Here," Shell said gruffly as he came back towards Zack. He turned to a table against the opposite wall of the room across from the one he'd been seated at. He pushed aside a bunch of tools and paper and set down what Zack vaguely recognized as a proton magnetometer down on the table top.

"Whoa!" Zack exclaimed as he picked the instrument up and turned it over in his hands. "I was expecting radios and auto-vacs. Not…this."

"It didn't come from anyone in the sector. Or in the slums for that matter," Shell explained before placing his cigar back in his mouth.

"Really? Hmph, didn't think citizens on the plate would come all the way down here for repairs."

"Better prices," Shell pointed out.

"Makes sense," Zack said as he tilted his head to the side slightly. "So what am I doin' with it?" he asked then. Shell slid a can of unmarked cleaner toward him. "What is it?" Zack inquired a little uneasily as he picked the can up.

"My own mixture," his boss answered.

"What?!" Zack blurted, setting the can back down cautiously as if it were about to erupt in his hand. "You made your own aerosol, are you nuts?"

Shell released a dry laugh. "I didn't package it myself. Got a friend up on the plate who puts it together. So crack open the magnetometer and clean it out. You'd be surprised how much stuff passes through here that would work just fine if it weren't full of crap."

Zack released his held breath. "Okee Dokee." Shell turned back to his table. "Uhh…tools?" Zack asked.

"All over," Shell replied.

Zack looked around the room with his hands on his hips. "Cool," he mumbled under his breath before beginning his search.

At lunch, Zack went up to the apartment to check on Cloud. His friend was asleep and looked very much like he'd been that way all morning. But he seemed comfortable enough and his temperature was normal. Still, Zack needed to wake him for another few injections and some food and water.

"What's work like?" Cloud called from the bedroom as Zack was making up some sandwiches.

"Well, uh…you know," Zack called back.

"No. I don't. That's why I asked," Cloud countered.

"Right now?" Zack asked as he re-entered the room with the sandwiches. "It's lame. But it's the first day and I'm not exactly looking for anything special. Just something that gives us an income." He winced a little as he sat down on the bed.

"What's wrong?" Cloud questioned.

"My back," Zack confessed. "I, uh, I'm gonna need you to take a look at it later," he said a little meekly.

Cloud set his food aside. "I'll look at it now," he offered.

Zack turned his back toward Cloud and leaned forward a little as Cloud slid closer to him and pushed his shirt up. The bandages taped over the wounds in Zack's back were a few days old now. He hadn't been able to reach them to change them. As Cloud peeled off the first one, he could see immediately that there was an infection present. And it wasn't exactly pretty.

"Zack, God, why did you wait so long?" he asked as he inspected the discoloured skin around the stitches.

"Well there wasn't exactly much time was there," Zack rationalized.

"There was plenty of time yesterday," Cloud argued. "Why didn't you just say something?"

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?" Zack threw back at him.

"Fair enough," Cloud replied after a moment.

"Look," Zack said with a sigh. "We gotta be honest with each other about this stuff. Obviously neither of us like to complain or bring attention to our problems, but…it's important. Deal?" Cloud was quiet. "Spike?" Zack spoke over his shoulder.

"Yeah. Okay, deal," his friend agreed.

Zack rose from the bed. He grabbed his sandwich off the table next to the bed. "I'm taking this to go," he announced as he headed for the door.

"Wh-what about your back?" Cloud asked quickly.

"Oh, don't worry, you'll be gettin' another long look at it later," Zack said with weak smile before leaving the room. "See ya' in a few hours, Spikey," he called before heading out of the apartment.

Later that night, as Zack had said, he bared his back to Cloud so that he could begin tending to his neglected wounds. It was superficial clean-up since Zack had already been administering himself antibiotics. Hopefully, within a week the infection around his stitches would be taken care of. Cloud's health was improving well with the drugs he was given though the drugs themselves made him drowsy. It was best that way as the sleep allowed his immune system to build itself back up and defend itself against the mako still swimming through his bloodstream, being diluted by the mixture of liquids he was injected with. Over time, his body would burn off the mako through exertion of energy. Without the drugs, the mako concentration was simply too high in Cloud's bloodstream. It suffocated his white blood cells and reduced his energy levels. It would likely take a few years for him to burn off all that was in his system but he wouldn't need the drugs that long. A few more weeks would be sufficient. And in a few days he would only need the injections once a day, rather than two or three times.

On Zack's third day of work, Cloud was up and walking around strong. To occupy himself while Zack was down in the shop, he began working on getting the apartment cleaned up. He was in the middle of scrubbing down the front of the cabinets in the kitchen when he was hit suddenly with what he immediately thought had to have been a short barrage of memories. They'd come at him at once, he thought possibly triggered by the smell of the cleaner he was using. There was a room, with two tall glass cylinders. And a table. The one he'd seen in brief flashes before. He felt himself there. Could almost feel the cold of the room. He was sitting down. In one of the chairs he'd seen. And there was a man. But just his silhouette. That was it. The images faded and he was left standing in the kitchen, his hand still holding a cloth, pressed against the one cabinet. He dropped the cloth and stepped back, drawing in a shaky breath.

000

"You know," Zack muttered from where he sat at his table in the shop, facing the wall, his back to his boss where he sat at his own table, "when I took this job I imagined I'd be doing more than cleaning." He was just working his way into the back of a digitalized exhaust fan with a screw driver. So far all he'd done was clean the items that Shell gave him before passing them back to him to make any necessary repairs.

"Well, perhaps if you had some experience in repair," Shell spoke back without turning.

"What makes you think I don't?" Zack retorted.

"Call it a sixth sense," the man replied. Zack raised an eyebrow.

"Crappy sixth sense…" he mumbled under his breath. The bell at the front door jingled then and Zack rose from his chair, knowing he was expected to greet whoever entered. He was a little shocked to find Cloud standing at the other side of the counter.

"Spike, what're you doing here?" he questioned, glancing back at Shell. The man was deeply engrossed in what he was working on. Some sort of recharger. "Everything okay?" he asked, turning back to his friend.

"Yeah, fine," Cloud answered. "But I had to talk to you," he added.

"About what?"

"I think I remembered something," he revealed. Zack stared back at him but said nothing. "Don't you wanna know about it?" Cloud inquired, a little confused as to why Zack didn't seem interested at all over the prospect.

"Yeah, of course," Zack responded, leaning forward on the counter in front of him. "But this isn't a good time." Cloud frowned slightly.

"Not a good time?" he repeated Zack's words.

"Yeah, Spike. C'mon, I'm working now. We'll talk about it later tonight, alright?" he assured his friend. "I'll see you then, okay?" he said before turning away from Cloud to head back to his table.

Cloud couldn't deny the fact he felt a little hurt by the dismissal. He shook it off though and headed back to the apartment.

At five o'clock, Zack left the shop and began his walk around to the back of the building and up the stairs that led to the apartment. He was tired and feeling very much like skipping dinner and just crashing until the morning. He almost let himself believe that was a possibility, until he entered the apartment and found Cloud gone.

He could have punched something. Or cried. He was feeling a lot of different emotions at that moment as he was speed-walking down the street, stopping at every alley to peer in and check for his rogue friend. His mind raced with questions about why Cloud would have left this time. And all the while there was that fear creeping up on him that Cloud hadn't just left, but was taken. As awful as it was to admit, he almost preferred that Cloud had been taken against his will and not simply chosen to leave. Zack would feel less guilt over it.

There was no sign of Cloud. An hour of search that had come up empty. He returned home, dejected and scared. Never thinking for a moment that when he got back to the apartment Cloud may be there waiting. He may have been relieved had it not been obvious Cloud didn't realize, or care, what his temporary absence had meant to Zack.

When Zack opened the door, his eyes immediately fell upon Cloud sitting on the couch with a newspaper in his hands. Zack was barely able to keep from slamming the door shut as he felt himself growing angry in an instant.

"Cloud," he spoke his name with clear frustration. "Where the hell were you?" he questioned.

"Out," his friend replied simply without looking away from the paper.

"No kidding," Zack shot back at him. "Out where?"

"I went for a walk," Cloud revealed, still not looking at him. Zack scoffed at his friend's casual tone, moving toward the kitchen as he ran his hands through his hair, trying to keep his cool. "What?" his friend asked, finally turning his way.

"You can't do that, Cloud," Zack responded calmly. His words drew a furrowed gaze from his friend.

"Do what?" he questioned.

"This!" Zack said as he gestured at him. "You can't just go off whenever you feel like it!" His voice was gaining in volume.

"What's the big deal? It was down the street," Cloud pointed out. "I'm surprised you care. You couldn't wait to get rid of me earlier," he muttered. Zack looked at him in shock.

"Cloud, I was working! My boss was _right _there. Did you want me to just drop everything to talk to you?" Zack asked. Cloud's lack of response seemed to be his answer. "Whatever, Cloud. I want you to swear to me that's the last time you're gonna take off on your own like that," he demanded. Cloud laughed in response.

"What? Do you want me to ask your permission to go out? What's the big fucking deal if I want to go out on my own?" Cloud questioned.

"It's not safe!" Zack nearly shouted.

"What's not safe, Zack?!" Cloud shouted back at him as he rose from the couch and turned to face him. "Why don't you tell me what the hell it is we're supposed to be hiding from?!"

Zack was about to reply but stopped himself. Cloud scoffed.

"You know what I think?" he asked and Zack leaned back against the counter behind him, crossing his arms and waiting to hear what Cloud had to say. "I think you're a liar," his friend fired at him. "You say you don't remember anything from before but I think you do. You remember everything and you just don't wanna tell me!"

Zack exhaled slowly, looking away from his friend. He really didn't need to confirm anything for Cloud.

"I'm right aren't I?" his friend questioned, stepping up directly in front of the couch separating them from each other. The fact that Zack wouldn't just admit it to him, even now, angered him more. "That's bullshit, Zack! I have a right to know what happened to us! To know what it is that we're running from! I don't know who the hell I am and you could change that but you don't!" His strained voice was shaking now as tears were trying to get out past his anger. He waited for Zack to say something. To admit he was wrong, to come clean and start telling him the things he wanted to know. Finally, Zack responded. He lowered his arms and took a few steps forward.

"Cloud…you just—you don't know—you don't understand—" he struggled to reason.

"How could I?!" Cloud asked behind quick breaths. He felt ready to explode through the roof at any moment.

"I'm just trying to protect you," Zack claimed. "I just—I just think there's things you're better off not knowing," he added uneasily.

There was a heavy silence between them then as Cloud stared hard at Zack. A few tears managed to make their way from his eyes even though he'd tried to hold them back. Snapping back to action, he wiped the tears from his cheeks hastily.

With a tone that was harsh and firm he spoke one more thing. "That's not your call to make." With that said he grabbed his sweater off the couch and turned, leaving the apartment quickly, the door slamming behind him.

Zack's first instinct was to go after him. But he didn't. What would he say to him when he caught up with him? Nothing that Cloud would want to hear. Zack was torn over what he should do. Truth was important to him. He knew that if he were in Cloud's place he would want that truth. But that other part of him, that part that never wanted to see Cloud hurting, just wanted to hide in the lie. The lie that was now exposed and wearing thin. He needed advice. He needed guidance. He needed…her.

Maybe it was time. He didn't know for sure. But he could at least go to her. Contemplate if it's what he really wanted to do on the way. It was a fairly long walk. It would help him clear his head. Or not. Perhaps it would only confuse him more. Shaking his head, he headed into the bedroom where he approached the end table next to the bed. Lying on it was the necklace he'd gotten for Aeris. Looking at it, he made his decision. He pocketed the pendant and chain and headed for the door.

It was dark when he'd gotten to the sector. He walked through the streets with his hands in his pockets, his nerves quivering inside him. _Four years_, he thought. Four years. Would she look different? Act different? Would it be awkward between them? Or would they just…reconnect?

He stopped at the end of a long alley, knowing that he was about to emerge onto a street, across which was the church. He observed it from a distance. Light flickered through the windows, indicating she was inside. Somehow he'd known she would be. He couldn't move. His feet felt glued to the ground.

_What do I say to her? _he questioned himself. _How do I even greet her?_ _A hug? A kiss?_ He wanted to kiss her. God, how he wanted to kiss her again.

He was a little surprised when he saw one of the doors to the church open. There she was. He saw her exit the church and he felt his heart jump. His legs ached deeply very suddenly to run toward her. To take her in his arms and never let her go again. Any fears, any doubts he'd had before just faded away as he drank her in with his eyes. She was beautiful. Just so, _beautiful_. He lifted his one foot, ready to exit the shadows and reclaim what he'd lost so long ago but he paused, seeing someone exiting through the door behind her. His mouth fell open slightly. It was a Turk. No. It was the leader of the Turks, Tseng. He was confused as to why the Turk was there, yet deep within him the suspicion was creeping up, rising higher as he watched he and Aeris talking, the distance between them very small.

_No_, he thought to himself. _I'm imagining it_, he told himself, his stomach sinking as Tseng made the distance between them almost non-existent. And then, the Turk touched her. His hand resting against her face, cupping her one cheek softly, _lovingly_. And Aeris. She didn't pull away. She smiled. Zack felt something break inside him. He felt sick as he struggled to swallow past the lump rising up in his throat. It couldn't be. Aeris and Tseng? Zack's last memory of the Turk was from when Cloud had lashed out in the lab, injuring Hojo himself before attempting to break Zack out of his testing cylinder. The Turk had shot him. Twice. Right before Zack's eyes. Tseng had helped to keep them from escaping. Not only that time, but once before that. And all the while he was returning back to Midgar to see Aeris? To pursue her? It was twisted and sickening, and yet, as much as he wanted to rush forward and engage in a fight with the Turk, Zack couldn't do it. His emotions were choking him, his mind reeling as his body began to shake. Everything in him was hurting as he watched Tseng and Aeris together.

The Turk leaned forward to place a kiss on Aeris' cheek and Zack turned his head, not wanting to watch. When he faced forward again, he watched Aeris say her farewells to the Turk before re-entering the church. Tseng was watching her as well, only turning away once the door had closed. With his hands in his pockets, he headed for the steps leading down from the doors. On the third step, he looked across the street, directly at the place where Zack stood, as if he had sensed him there. The Turk stopped dead and Zack's eyes widened slightly as he wondered if the man could actually see him standing there. He stepped back quickly, further into the darkness but the Turks eyes stayed on him. Tseng's hands came out of his pockets as he moved himself forward down the last few steps, headed for where Zack stood. Zack turned then, departing quickly. He heard it then. His name called to him. The Turk _did _know of his presence.

"Zack!" the man called once more as he entered the alley and chased after him. "Wait!" he demanded. Zack eluded him fast, the Turk reaching a dead end in the maze of alleyways and having no idea where his target had gone. Tseng shook his head, telling himself he must have been imagining things. He thought he'd seen Zack. Well not _seen _him. More, visualized him standing across the street from the church because he'd felt the man's energy. Now, he wasn't so sure. He began making his way back to his vehicle.

Zack didn't come out of hiding until he'd convinced himself the Turk was long gone. He trekked back to the church, and upon seeing Tseng's car gone he moved out into the open in the street, approaching the steps to the church cautiously.

Standing in front of the wooden doors and knowing Aeris was on the other side, he felt so close to a victory that he suddenly couldn't have. Over the time he and Cloud were held captive in the Mansion, he'd comforted himself with the thought that, even if Aeris had given up on him, he would be able to rekindle things when he returned. He wasn't so sure now. If she was _with _Tseng, he couldn't trust her. His eyes were becoming blurred with tears as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the chain and pendant he'd bought for her on his way back to Midgar. He stared down at it as the first tear fell from him, landing on the pendant. He wiped it away with his thumb before taking the chain and hanging it on one of the door handles. He placed his palm against the door and lowered his forehead to it, feeling more tears trailing his cheeks as he tried hard not to break into the sobs yearning to escape from him. He stepped back, taking the first few stairs behind him backwards before forcing himself to turn and leave, hoping his breaking heart was going to sustain him long enough to get back home.

Inside the church, Aeris turned back toward the doors at the front of the building, feeling like someone was on the other side. She waited, thinking Tseng must have returned, but the doors stayed closed. A crazy thought came to her. That Zack was on the other side of those doors, waiting for her to let him in. She rushed toward them, taking hold of the one handle and pushing the door open, letting in a burst of warm night air.

No one. There was no one. She stepped outside, letting the door close behind her as she looked around. She was so sure someone had been there. And not just someone. Zack. But of course, it wasn't possible. It couldn't be. Because he'd died years ago. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with it and she still had a hard time accepting it. Sometimes, she felt him so strongly. Like now. Now, she was overwhelmed with the feeling of his presence. It almost brought her to tears, she wanted him back so badly.

Turning slowly, her eyes fell upon the one door handle. A necklace was dangling from the handle, glittering a little in the dim light from one of the nearby street lamps. She reached for it, taking the chain in her hand and pulling it from the door handle gently. She examined the small pendant only a short moment before bursting into tears, turning fast and looking again for any sign of the one who'd left it behind. It couldn't have been Tseng. No, she could feel the energy from the person who'd held it before her and she was certain it had been Zack.

She felt his sorrow when she held it. His pain. He'd been distressed when he left it behind. She realized then that he must have seen her with Tseng.

"No," she whispered aloud. "Zack, it's not what it looks like."

She couldn't believe it. He'd come back. Zack had come back, only to see her with someone else. It made her sick to her stomach to imagine the way he must have felt. Must be _feeling_. He was out there right now. She wasn't going to let him just forget about her now, accept something that wasn't truth. She'd find him. Explain it to him. She'd have him back.

000

Zack took his time getting back home. He was in no way eager to get there. Either Cloud would still be out somewhere and it would make him feel worse than he already felt, or his friend would be there and he'd be forced to accept what he knew he needed to do. Tell the truth. He felt lost and weary, breaking on the inside and out.

When he finally returned to the apartment, he noticed Cloud's sweater on the couch, indicating his friend was home. He felt a little relief and dread at the same time for what he was about to offer to do for his friend. But he was feeling pretty bad already so what was one more thing to add to the night's misery? He stood in the doorway to the bedroom and looked at Cloud. His friend was facing away from him. It wasn't easy to tell if he was awake or not but Zack suspected he was.

"I'll tell you," he said softly, leaning against the door frame slightly.

"Everything?" Cloud questioned without turning over.

Zack exhaled through his nose forcefully. "Yeah," he agreed before turning and moving back to the living room where he sat down on the couch, leaning forward and lowering his head, rubbing the back of his neck. Cloud joined him a moment later. There was silence blanketing the room as Zack collected himself. All he could really think of was Aeris. He needed a distraction. His explanation to Cloud of all he wanted to know would likely do the trick. And besides, without Aeris, Cloud really was the only person he had. He needed to be honest with him to keep Cloud in his life. To keep him close. He needed that relationship with Cloud.

He took a deep breath and let it out slow before beginning, keeping his eyes forward as he allowed himself entrance to his own memories. Then, he spoke.

"We were on a mission to Nibelheim…"


	8. Chapter 7

_Hey everyone. Sorry for the long wait. Songs for the chapter are: 'Inside It All Feels the Same' by Explosions in the Sky, 'Breathe' by Leaves, 'By & By' by Natalie Walker, and 'Time Goes By' by Air Traffic. Songs can be found on both playlists but I was only able to get a 30 second clip for Time Goes By on the imeem playlist. So if you want to hear the whole song you should listen to it on the YouTube playlist. _

Chapter VII

Zack had exhausted himself. Shed almost every main detail about the past four years to Cloud, who sat next to him in silence. He'd left out the gritty bits of course. He felt no need to delve into such things unless Cloud asked about them specifically. He didn't dare look at his friend. He felt like if he did that Cloud might feel pressured to respond. No response was fine. No response was what Zack would have preferred. But after a few moments, Cloud did speak.

"Why?" he asked, his voice weak. Zack looked at him then.

"Why?" Zack repeated his one word, shaking his head a little.

"Why did he do those things to us? The professor," Cloud clarified.

"Uh…'cause he's nuts?" Zack suggested. It wasn't the answer his friend wanted.

"What? No, I don't buy that. I mean—maybe he was, but he had to have a motive. You don't just do that to people." Cloud's voice had gained its strength back.

"I dunno," Zack replied. "We weren't really told. All Hojo ever talked about was 'potential' and 'enhancement' and how he had his 'plans' for us. He was never that specific, Spike."

Cloud looked at him in shock. "And you—we just accepted that?" he questioned.

"No. But frankly, I got tired of asking. I, personally, think he was trying to turn us into his own version of super-SOLDIERs. But who knows? Maybe he just wanted to recreate Sephiroth."

"Sephiroth…" Cloud spoke the former general's name with a bit of dread and awe. "I really killed that man?" he asked.

"He wasn't a man then. He was possessed," Zack countered. He watched Cloud's expression closely as he looked away. "Hey," he said to get Cloud to look at him again. "I know what you're thinking and don't you dare feel bad about getting rid of that monster. He destroyed a town and all the innocent people in it. He would have killed us both if you hadn't stopped him."

Cloud nodded, though he still seemed grim.

"So that's it then," he said after a moment. "We escaped from this…mad scientist, after four years of senseless experimentation and torture and now we're been hunted down? We're really that important?"

"Maybe," Zack said softly. "Important enough. Or maybe Hojo's just obsessed. It's a long time to spend on a project to have it slip out of your fingers before completion." He rose from the couch to get a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

It wasn't difficult to imagine how upset the professor would have been over their escape. After four years of experimentation and probably a ridiculously large sum of money being invested, it wasn't likely Hojo would just forget about them. Certainly not Cloud anyway. Yes, Zack was important. Important in that through him Cloud could be manipulated, but Cloud stood alone as an important investment. He'd taken to the Jenova cells he'd been injected with. For whatever reason, the cells had no effect on Zack. All things considered, that made him expendable if necessary. That thought didn't bother him. He would choose expendability over a life as a specimen any day. His real fears now lay in knowing Cloud _wasn't_ expendable. He knew that if he were the only thing keeping Hojo from getting to Cloud, the professor would have him killed without a moment's thought. And more painful than the thought of death was the thought of Cloud being taken back to the professor's lab on his own.

Zack had left Jenova out of his revelations to Cloud. He still had a hard time believing she'd been able to influence Cloud in the way he claimed she had in the lab. So far, Cloud hadn't mentioned anything about voices in his head, or apparitions coming to him when he slept. So he decided to neglect the topic, hoping to God the bitch stayed away and that she'd lost any form of power she'd had over Cloud barely over a month ago.

"We aren't going to be able to stay here very long, are we?" Cloud spoke up from behind him.

_What's the point?_ Zack thought. There wasn't anything left for them in Midgar as far as he was concerned. Nothing worth risking their lives over.

"No," he replied, shaking his head slowly. "As soon as we've saved up a few thousand, we'll blow this place."

"And go where?" his friend questioned.

"I dunno…" Zack said as he thought about. Shinra had so much influence worldwide. "Somewhere remote," he concluded.

Cloud didn't share Zack's resolve to run. But he kept his thoughts to himself for the time being.

Zack studied Cloud's face then. It was hard to really decipher how he was feeling about everything he'd just heard.

"Are you okay, Spike?" he asked then. He wasn't sure what kind of reaction he'd expected out of his friend but he certainly wasn't expecting him to see so calm.

"Yeah…" Cloud replied with a slow nod. "I uh…" he began to say but stopped. "No," he revealed. "I don't think I am."

"Man, Spike, I'm sorry," Zack said sadly. "I wish none of it were true."

"Yeah," Cloud agreed before coming to a stand. He headed towards the door.

"Cloud," Zack spoke his name fast and his friend looked at him.

"I'm not going anywhere. I just…need a minute," he explained quietly before pulling the door open and stepping outside.

Zack watched him leave before turning back to face the kitchen, slamming his one palm against the counter as he pressed his forehead to one of the cabinets. He hadn't allowed himself to show much emotion while recounting the events of the past four years to Cloud. He had spoken of it as if he were telling of something normal. A trip to the beach. If he had even allowed himself for a second to think of what he'd felt himself during the experiences he probably would have lost it. And he was losing it now. He thought telling the truth would release him from his guilt but he felt worse now than he had before. And he hadn't even told Cloud everything, only what had happened in Nibelheim on their mission and after. Cloud still knew nothing of his past prior to that. Though there was only a limited amount of information Zack could give Cloud regarding that time in his life. He'd only known Cloud a couple of years before their mission to Cloud's hometown. He had no intention of hiding that additional information from Cloud, he just hadn't wanted to bombard him with too much at once. The past four years was a lot to take in.

Five minutes went by and Cloud hadn't come back in the apartment. Zack made the decision then to check on his friend. Doors, it seemed were becoming an enemy for him. It seemed that every time he had to pass through one he was holding his breath, his heart pounding in his chest with a secret dread. _Please just be out here, Spike_, he pleaded silently as he pulled the door open. He stepped out onto the small landing and looked down the stairs leading to the ground.

Cloud had been true to his word. He hadn't gone anywhere. He was sitting near the bottom of the stairs, facing away. Zack took his time getting down to him, halting a few stairs above him and sitting himself down. He took in a slow breath before speaking.

"Do you wish now that I didn't tell you the truth?" he asked.

"No," Cloud uttered quietly. "Only that those things never happened. Those things that were done to us." There was a brief silence before he went on. "I've dreamt about some of the things you mentioned. I thought they were just nightmares."

No such luck.

"I still want to remember, Zack. Everything," Cloud said then. Zack believed his friend wasn't lying but he also believed Cloud would change his mind if or when he remembered it all.

"You will," Zack assured him, reaching down to place a hand on his shoulder. "But…for now, let's just try to sleep, alright?"

Cloud agreed semi-reluctantly, dragging himself off the steps and following Zack back into the apartment where they got themselves ready for bed. It was well into the early hours of the morning as they did so and by the time they'd both managed to fall asleep the sun was just beginning to rise.

000

Once Cloud knew the truth of what had happened to him and Zack, memories began to return to him more quickly. But they were all recent in nature. The earliest he had, were from sometime shortly after he and Zack had been woken up from their two-year slumber in the mansion. Hojo had put them away in 'storage' at the time while he attended to business elsewhere. There they had remained, partially asleep, partially lost in simulations the professor had prepared for them to keep their minds active.

Cloud's memories now seemed to come about through his dreams. Triggered in his sleep, he'd wake up remembering just a little bit more of the horrors he and Zack had been subjected to. For the first week that his memories began to invade him steadily, he continually asked Zack to confirm for him that the things he'd seen had really happened but after that week he just stopped. Zack wasn't sure why. He hadn't questioned it. He could come up with a few reasons, however. One of which was probably the fact that Zack made minimal effort to conceal the discomfort he felt in discussing the things that had happened to them. But it may have been that Cloud didn't need or _want_ the confirmation anymore.

That may have been true. But true or not, Zack still found himself aiding Cloud's recovering memory in the times when it was really needed. The times when it was so clear that his friend was becoming distraught over the things that were filling up the spaces in his mind. Cloud slept less as the days went on, spending hours cleaning up the apartment or reading over every inch of the newspapers Zack brought up from the shop when his boss was finished with them. Cloud took on a weary appearance that made Zack nervous. Leaving his friend alone in the mornings to go down to work were the hardest moments of the days. Always, he prayed that when he returned Cloud would still be there and holding on to the majority of his sanity. Zack knew it couldn't have been easy for him to spend all day, every day in that apartment alone. It must have felt more like confinement than freedom. He had to wonder what Cloud was going to do when he ran out of things to scrub at in that place. He knew it was only a matter of time before his friend was going to want to venture out into the city.

In order to prevent the inevitable from happening, he took Cloud with him several times to buy groceries or the things they'd been needing since they'd arrived in the city. Clothing, namely. He'd also tried to get Shell to consider hiring Cloud in the shop as well. But the man refused, saying he didn't need or want any more help for the time being. Zack quickly realized he may have made a mistake in telling Cloud ahead of time that he was going to talk to Shell about possible employment. His friend seemed genuinely disappointed over not getting the job.

Overall, Cloud was becoming depressed. Zack knew that. Though he didn't want to face it. He tried to put on the happy face around his friend but Zack himself wasn't feeling the greatest. At least a hundred times a day, he thought of Aeris. He was plagued by the same image over and over, of Aeris standing outside the church with the Turk, Tseng. It was driving him to the edge of madness. He wanted to forget about her. Wanted to be so angry at her that he could erase her from himself. But he couldn't. A part of him wanted to be with her more than anything else. It was the part of him that told him he needed to see her. To let her explain herself. While the rest of him felt he needed no explanation, and didn't want one. Yes, he _was _angry with her. But not angry enough to forget her

The day after Zack's boss had refused to let Cloud come down to work in the repair shop, Cloud had left the apartment. He'd spent most of the morning lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to the sounds coming in through the windows above his head. By noon, he couldn't take it anymore. He was contemplating destroying the apartment just so he'd have something to clean up. He stared down the door leading to the outside world for about a minute before stepping over the threshold and leaving the apartment behind.

He kept to the back of the building, not wanting to risk Zack seeing him through the front window in the shop. He headed out in no particular direction, but feeling like he wanted to put as much space between himself and the apartment as he could. Just for a little while. He had no intentions of not returning. But he needed the change of scenery. Needed to find something to stimulate him. Something to take his mind off his troubles. To give him something else to do besides trying to reawaken memories in his head. It wasn't the most gratifying of hobbies.

He thought of Zack of course, of what his friend was going to have to say to him about his excursion if he found out. He told himself that Zack would have to understand his need to get out of the place he'd spent weeks immobilized in. Yes. It was understandable. What may not be so understandable though was his decision to get on one of the trains heading up to the plate above. Cloud wasn't sure he understood that decision himself. The train was there, he was there. It seemed like the thing to do.

When he'd first arrived in the city, he hadn't spent much time up on the plate. Rather, he'd taken the first chance he had to descend into the slums to get away from the rain that had been continuously drenching him since he'd left Jacob's house. He hadn't taken the time to see much of anything; to see how different it actually was up there. And it was different. Just as Zack had said it was. The air alone was notably different. Lighter, and fresher. Cleaner and brighter. But still, not beautiful or inviting really. He still stood by his initial assessment of the city.

He let his head tilt back as he stared up at a building towering over all the others. He'd seen it the day he'd entered the city. He found himself somewhat curious about the building. Clearly it was meant to be seen as structure of power. Headquarters for the Shinra Company. That was his best guess. He wasn't really intent on getting particularly close to the structure but he still headed in that direction, following the flow of people heading away from the train station.

There was so much life up on the plate. So much that it actually made Cloud feel a little overwhelmed. The streets were crowded with people and vehicles. There were hundreds of stores and businesses in operation. He wasn't sure he liked all the action. But he'd take it over the apartment right now.

A few blocks from the station, the sounds of machinery were drifting to his ears. As he drew closer, he could make out the individual sounds. Hammering, sawing, drilling. It was a construction site. He gazed up at what appeared to be a high-rise building being built. At the moment it was merely a skeleton, the project clearly still in its early stages. He had one hell of a crazy thought as he watched a crane lifting bundles of steel towards one of the levels in the structure. He wasn't sure anything would come out of that crazy thought but he was willing to give it a shot. He entered the construction zone through a gated area left open for vehicles to pass through. He ignored a sign that read out in bright red letters 'Authorized employees only. Hardhats must be worn past this point.'

He marveled at everything before him. Especially the sounds. From what he could remember, and from what Zack had told him, they'd gone several years with very little sensory stimulation. They'd been confined to a world of bland colours and scientist speak. Zack had eerily explained that sometimes the sounds and sights of their torture had been minutely welcome, often after long hours of being kept in their cell. While he didn't want that fact to be true, he certainly couldn't doubt it.

As he wandered toward a set of trailers set up a short distance from the building being built, he thought he heard something.

"Hey."

He heard the word clearly but didn't think it was meant for him until it was repeated.

"Hey, you!"

Cloud turned to see a man coming towards him. He was a little less covered in dirt than some of the other workers he'd passed by.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" the man asked forcefully as he approached. "This area's restricted to public, you can't just be wandering around here, especially when you ain't got so much as a hardhat on."

"I'm looking for whoever's in charge," Cloud replied.

"That'd be me," the man announced. "I'm the foreman."

"Are you hiring?" Cloud asked next. The foreman looked over him skeptically.

"Not you, kid," he said before moving past Cloud in the direction of one of the trailers.

"Why not," Cloud called to him. The foreman halted. "Because I don't look like I could do the work?" The man looked at him. "Give me a chance," Cloud urged.

The foreman removed his hardhat to run a hand over his short hair. He appeared to be thinking. "You know how to weld?" he questioned after a moment.

"No," Cloud replied honestly. At least he thought it was honest. Perhaps he did know how to weld. He just didn't remember.

The foreman spoke again. "Ever operate any heavy machinery?"

"No."

The man didn't look all that pleased. "You ever done _anything _construction-related before?"

"No, sir," Cloud answered as he shook his head.

The foreman sighed.

"Do you think you can handle a fucking drill?" he questioned impatiently.

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed.

"Fine. I'm gonna need all your contact information and health history by tomorrow."

"Is that necessary?" Cloud questioned uneasily.

The man looked at him as if he expected Cloud to be joking.

"Yes, it is goddamn necessary. You wanna get paid or not?"

"What about…under the table?"

"Are you for real, man? No, forget it, get out of my face," the man said as he turned his back on Cloud once again, taking up a quick pace away from him.

"I'll take half of whatever you normally pay!" Cloud called after him. The man hesitated, looking back with an incredulous look on his face.

"You really are somethin'," he muttered.

"I don't really care about the money," Cloud admitted. "I just…want the job."

The man sighed again, his shoulders sagging as he reached up to place his hardhat back on his head. He walked back toward Cloud.

"You got a name at least?" he questioned in a softer tone. When Cloud said nothing he just shrugged. "Whatever. Be here tomorrow at six. We work twelve-hour days."

"Yes, sir," Cloud agreed with a nod. He watched the man for a moment as he began making his way to the one trailer before departing, a hint of a smile forming on his lips.

000

Zack was exhausted as he made his way up to the apartment. He felt like he'd been all over the damn slums that day. Shell had had him out doing some pick ups and deliveries. All on foot, of course. He was looking forward to collapsing on the bed and not moving again until he either had to use the bathroom or had to get up again for work. He opened the door to the apartment to find Cloud sitting on the couch in front of the television. The television that was remarkably picking up a signal from the plate.

"No way," Zack remarked, shutting the door behind him as he kept his eyes on the screen. The picture was a little fuzzy but nothing to complain about. "How'd that happen?" he questioned aloud.

"I did some tweaking with the digital input reader," Cloud revealed.

"Really? Well aren't you handy. I'll have to let Shell know that he may want to reconsider you," Zack said as he headed toward the nearby kitchen area.

_Or not_, Cloud thought to himself as he tried to think of a way to tell Zack about the job he had secured for himself that day. He glanced back at Zack to see him pulling a spoon from the one drawer, getting ready to scoop out some leftovers from the night before on a dish.

"I went out today," he confessed to Zack's surprise. Zack nearly dropped the spoon in his hand. Immediately the words 'Why the hell did you go out on your own?' were forming in his mouth but he restrained himself, deciding to first let Cloud explain.

"Where?" he questioned instead.

"The plate," Cloud replied.

_Okay_, Zack thought. _Explaining is over_.

"The plate, Cloud?" he said as he rounded the couch to face his friend. "Was I not clear enough about it being dangerous for us down here in the slums as it is, without wandering into direct Shinra territory? Because I think I was pretty friggin' clear."

Cloud gave him a look that said he was exaggerating, though Cloud did understand the dangers. "I got a job up there," he revealed.

_It just gets better and better_, Zack thought next. "A job? Doing what?"

"Construction," his friend revealed. Zack laughed, drawing a sharp look from Cloud.

"What?" he asked. "You work in a repair shop," he pointed out.

"Yeah, and I've at least had some minor experience doing repair-work," Zack countered.

"So? Maybe I've had some minor experience doing construction," Cloud argued.

"You haven't. Unless you were doing construction work before you were fourteen, 'cause that's how long I've known you."

Cloud released an exasperated exhale. "Why are you trying to discourage this?" he asked then. Zack`s expression softened.

"That's not what I'm trying to—" he began but Cloud cut him off.

"You really want me to just sit here alone all day, every day?"

_Yes_, Zack thought. _That way I know you're safe_. He wasn't about to use that line sat himself next to Cloud on the couch. "No. That's not what I want. I want you to be, you know, happy. And I guess if this makes you happy then…I'll go with it." He ended his explanation with a smile.

"Thanks," Cloud said gratefully, turning his eyes back on the television. Zack grew serious again.

"But, Spike," he started hesitantly, "you really have to try and keep a low profile up there. The plate is home to militia, SOLDIER, and the Turks. It's a big deal." Cloud's eyes met his again.

"I know," his friend claimed. "I understand the danger, Zack. But how are we any safer here?" he asked. "I was chased down by a Turk here in the slums, not on the plate. If anything, they'd be looking for us here, not up there," Cloud pointed out. Zack lowered his head a little. Cloud's reasoning was pretty sound. "I didn't give the foreman any information about me," Cloud revealed then. "Not even a name. Fake or real."

"And he still hired you?" Zack asked in surprised.

Cloud shrugged. "Apparently."

Zack took in a deep breath and let it go before speaking again. "When do you start?" he asked.

"Tomorrow morning," his friend answered.

_That_ _soon?_ Zack thought. Truthfully, he hated this. He absolutely didn't want Cloud to have a job up on the plate. He didn't want him to have a job at all. He wanted him at home. His reasons bordered on selfish. He knew that. It was more for his ease of mind that he wanted Cloud at home. But forcing him to stay in the apartment wasn't an option. He had to let his friend do this. He had to trust that Cloud was smart enough to look out for himself. Even if it was going to spawn many sleepless nights for himself.

The first of those sleepless nights was that night. He lay in bed next to Cloud, thinking about how he wished he hadn't made the decision to come back to Midgar. He done it because he'd wanted to see Aeris. Now, he saw it for the truly stupid decision it was. They were stuck there until they had enough money to travel independently. A vehicle was going to take up a good chunk of that money. He was sure a van would be the best option. It would be able to serve as a place to live out of for awhile if necessary. He imagined what it would be like. Traveling the open road. Nothing to care about.

He managed to occupy himself with his thoughts through the night and into the morning. 5 a.m. had rolled around before he knew it. The alarm went off and Cloud started, as if he'd been waiting for that sound all night. Zack reached over to turn the alarm off before Cloud attempted to reach over him to do it. There was only one night table and it was next to Zack's side of the bed. Cloud sat up slowly, rubbing his face tiredly. He looked at Zack after a moment.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked, seeing clearly in Zack's wide-awake expression that he hadn't only just been awoken by the alarm.

"Uh…" Zack began but hesitated. "Not long. Ten minutes maybe," he lied.

"You don't work for another four hours," Cloud pointed out.

"Yeah I know. I'll probably doze off again when you leave," Zack said, though he doubted it. Cloud nodded before pulling himself out of the bed and heading for the bathroom. He returned ten minutes later to get himself dressed. He stood in front of the dresser then, staring at the bottles of medicines sitting on the top. Zack had suggested the night before that he become comfortable with giving himself the injections he needed once a day to keep his mako sickness under control. He'd been able to function fine on one set of injections a day for a little over a week now. Zack was right. He did need to be able to give himself the injections. Especially now that he was going to be leaving for work in the mornings presumably before Zack was even awake. He wasn't going to wake him just to have him do for him what he should be able to do himself. Still, he found the idea intimidating. He knew Zack was watching him.

"You got it, Spike?" Zack asked from the bed.

"Yeah. Got it," he agreed without looking back at his friend. He took one of the syringes and filled it with the first liquid. He hesitated on touching it to his forearm. His hand was shaking slightly. _Come on_, he told himself. _Zack does it_. Zack could have been a professional injectionist for the number he'd performed. Not only on Cloud but himself. Gritting his teeth, Cloud forced the needle into the already bruised flesh of his arm. That was the hardest part. Once it was in, he breathed out slow, relaxing a little as he applied pressure to the pump and injected the first liquid into his arm. One down, two to go.

"Fun, huh?" Zack spoke up. Cloud scoffed.

"Tons," he added sarcastically, reaching for the next bottle of liquid.

"You need money for anything?" Zack asked when Cloud was finishing up the third injection.

"I don't think so," Cloud replied without looking back at him.

"Lunch?"

"I made one," his friend said.

"Well take some anyway, it's in the top drawer of the dresser," Zack ordered.

Cloud pulled the top drawer open in front of him. He pushed some clothing out of the way to reveal a wad of paper money. Shell had been paying Zack under the table, just as his new boss was going to be doing with him.

"You may wanna consider someplace more secure to keep this now that it's building up," Cloud suggested as he took a few of the bills from under the rubber band holding the money together. He folded the bills and shoved them into his one pocket.

"Yeah, I'll get around to that sometime," Zack agreed. Cloud headed for the doorway. Once there, he turned back to look at Zack.

"Thanks for letting me do this, Zack," he said with a bit of a half smile.

"Yeah, well, just take care of yourself up there," Zack responded a little dully. Cloud nodded before exiting through the doorway. Zack listened to him as he opened the fridge to get something out before crossing the room and opening the apartment door. It closed again a moment later with a click. And Zack was alone.

Mornings, he decided after a day or so, he would be able to handle. He actually slept that night after Cloud's first day and hadn't woken up until the alarm went off again at five. The day after, he'd even managed to fall back asleep for another few hours after Cloud left. Yes, mornings, he was going to be able to handle. It was the evenings that he was sure were going to drive him mad. He finished work an hour before Cloud and it wasn't usually until about quarter to seven that Cloud walked in the door.

After a week, Zack had decided coming home to sit alone and wait for Cloud wasn't going to work for him. Even with a television to watch, he spent every minute dreading the worst. Especially on nights like this one when Cloud was late getting back to the apartment. Setting his paranoia aside, he just couldn't take being alone with himself. He had never liked to be by himself but now, somehow, it felt impossible to endure. He hated the sound of his own voice in his head. He was going to have to find something to occupy himself with in the few hours every night before Cloud got home. Perhaps he could stay later in the shop after it closed. Find something to do there. That could work. But not for tonight. Tonight, he needed to find something else.

He only had intentions of going for a walk that night. That was it. But then he found himself standing outside a bar just three blocks away. It looked like crap from the outside, much like the buildings surrounding it. The slums were not for the vanity-obsessed. But there was certainly _something _inviting about the place. Spending an hour in a bar, relaxing with a drink didn't actually sound half bad. Sounded pretty good actually.

Taking a breath, he made his way toward the door, pulling it open and stepping inside. He hesitated a moment before approaching the bar. He hadn't seen any bartender until he'd stopped in front of the worn, wooden bar top and peered over. He could see then a woman crouched down, searching for something in the shelves under the bar top.

"Hello," Zack spoke in a questioning tone.

"Yeah. Just a second," the bartender replied somewhat impatiently. Zack watched her a moment more before turning his back to the bar and leaning against it slightly as he gazed around at the interior of the building. Nothing special. Kinda quiet. But then it was only eight.

"What can I get for you?" the bartended addressed him then and he turned around to face her. He found himself staring back at a young woman a few years younger than what he'd been expecting. Long dark hair and matching, deep, dark eyes. She was attractive. And then some. He smiled at her but her expression seemed frozen, eyes unblinking and slowly widening. Her lips parted and she breathed out one word. "You."

Until that moment, Zack hadn't really recognized her at all but as she said that one, almost accusatory word, it hit him like a ton of bricks. Cloud's friend from Nibelheim, _Tifa Lockhart_.


	9. Chapter 8

_Hey guys, I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to update. I never anticipated I'd be so busy when I started back at school. Since I'm still working at the same time, my free time is like non-existent lol. But every spare minute I do have I spend writing. I really don't want to see this turn into something I will only be able to update monthly. But I'm not sure right now that updating more frequently than that will be possible. Anyway, it's a longer chapter. Hopefully that makes up for the lack of updating. _

_Songs for this chapter are 'Spaceship' by The Vines, 'Something Wrong' by Bang Gang, 'Parachutes' by Havergal, 'Weight of the World' by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, 'You Won't Know' by Brand New, and 'No Signs of Pain' by Azure Ray. Playlists are updated though for YouTube I wasn't able to find videos for 'Parachutes' or 'No Signs of Pain' and for imeem I couldn't get a full song of 'Spaceship,' which is a REALLY good song so you should listen to it on YouTube if you can. Also, though no one has come out and said anything, I wanted to mention that if you listen to the playlist as you're reading, it's unlikely that the songs will all match up with the parts of the chapter they represent. If you're every curious, let me know and I'll hook you up with a music guide of some sort. _

_Cheers. _

Chapter VIII

_Tifa Lockhart. _

Zack's expression fell as he stepped back from the bar, hitting a table behind him and nearly getting caught up in a struggle with a chair.

"Shit!" he muttered aloud as he turned away, heading for the door fast. He could hear her coming after him. As he reached the door, two men were coming in, blocking his exit. Tifa had a hold of his arm then forcing him to turn to face her.

"I know you!" she declared.

"Don't know what you're talking about, lady," he replied lamely. It was all he could really think off. His mind was reeling. Tifa Lockheart was certainly not someone he'd ever imagined running into again.

"Yeah, sure, your reaction to seeing me certainly suggests _that_," she said sarcastically.

"Can we get some service?" one of her new customers called over.

She turned her head. "Yeah, one second," she said. Zack had used the moment to attempt to pull away from her. "Hey!" she blurted, grabbing onto him again and pushing him against the wall roughly. He would have admired her audacity had he not been wanting desperately to get away from her. She addressed him again. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be dead."

"Yeah, well surprise," Zack responded with a frustrated exhale.

"I don't understand," Tifa said a little softer toned.

"Look, Tifa, it's an…unbelievably long story that I really don't feel like sharing with you right now."

She took a step back from him. "How long have you been in the city? The whole time?" she questioned.

"No," Zack denied truthfully. "About a month." He knew what was coming next.

"Is…Cloud here too?" she asked hopefully though her eyes were downcast.

For a moment Zack considered lying but given he was trying to embrace a pro-honesty life these days, he decided to stay truthful.

"Yes," he said with a slight nod. Tifa's eyes flew up to meet his again.

"I knew it," she said then. "I knew he couldn't be dead."

"Yeah," Zack said a little awkwardly before motioning as if to leave.

"Wait!" Tifa spoke up, grabbing onto him again. "Where is he? I wanna see him."

"It's not a good time, Tifa," Zack claimed, watching as she appeared to take offense to his words.

"Not a good time?" she echoed. "What the hell does that mean? You and Cloud just disappeared four years ago. You know how hard that was to deal with? I'm not waiting another second!"

"Tifa—"

"No!" she protested before he could say anything else. "Why are you making this difficult?! I want to see Cl—"

"He doesn't remember you, Tifa!" Zack nearly shouted at her. She stared at him hard. "He doesn't remember you, or Nibelheim, or anything before about two years ago, alright?" He exhaled in a huff before pushing past her. He set his palms down on a table nearby and lowered his head, waiting for the questions to begin again.

"Why?" Tifa asked, her voice quiet and shrouded in disbelief.

"Part of that long story that I'm not going to tell you about right now," he answered her, knowing it was about the most unsatisfying answer he could give her. He turned his head to look at her, shaking his head to get the point settled that he wasn't going to be talking about what had happened to them at all at that moment. In fact, now that he'd told Cloud about everything they'd gone through he didn't believe it was necessary to ever explain it to another person.

"Let me see him," Tifa pushed on.

"Not right now," Zack said with the shake of his head once more.

"This isn't just about you, Zack, Cloud was my friend. _Is _my friend. I deserve to see him!"

"This isn't about what _you _deserve," Zack fired back at her. "I don't really care about you, Tifa. I care about Cloud and I'm not going to force more pressure on him to remember his past right now. He doesn't need the stress."

"Stress? You think I'm going to stress him out?" Tifa questioned with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah, I do," Zack confirmed. "Because even if you try to tell yourself you won't expect anything from him, when you see him you will. You'll expect him to look at you and automatically remember you—"

"But what if that's _exactly _what happens?" Tifa argued. "What if he looks at me and _does _know who I am. What if it _helps _him remember?" She waited for Zack's reply but he said nothing. "Zack, gimme a chance at least," she pleaded.

Rubbing his forehead, Zack came to a quick decision. "I'll talk to him first, alright? See how he actually feels about seeing you."

"Tonight?" Tifa asked fast. "You'll talk to him tonight?"

"Yeah, tonight I will. I'll let you know what he decided tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay…" she agreed a little uneasily. She watched as he headed for the door. "Hey!" she called out as he was about to push the door open. He looked back impatiently. "Does Aerith know you're alive?" she inquired. The mention of Aerith' name seemed to strike something in Zack though he kept himself composed.

"You know her?" he asked. Tifa nodded. "No," he answered finally with a sigh. "I'd like to keep it that way," he added, looking at Tifa for a moment longer before turning away to leave.

Zack walked away from the bar hastily at first but slowed as he drew nearer to home. He had to stop when he was within a block of the apartment, taking a seat on an old bench in what at one time was probably a park. There wasn't much there to suggest that's what it was now, outside of the remnants of a what looked to be a sandbox. As he sat there, he wasn't really thinking about Tifa Lockheart or the fact he was supposed to explain to Cloud that the girl was someone who 'used' to be important to him and now wanted to see him. All he could think of was Aerith. He recognized then that he could very well go crazy over thinking about her. He had to remind himself of why he needed to stay away from her.

Tseng. He wasn't sure just what was going on between the two of them but it really didn't matter. If she was involved with the Turk at all, Zack would be risking his and Cloud's new freedom in trying to see her. Tseng had been close to spotting him that night at the church. And certainly the Turks knew that Zack and Cloud were in Midgar as they'd tracked them there. That alone meant danger for them. And further, what if Aerith was completely happy with her life at the moment? Did he really want to compromise or complicate that by showing up at her doorstep?

He left the bench feeling no surer of himself than when he sat down. By the time he'd made it to the apartment, it'd been over an hour since he'd left the bar. He was suddenly nervous as he ascended the stairs to the apartment door. He was going over in his head just exactly how he was going to tell Cloud about Tifa and her urgent want to see him.

The door was unlocked, indicating Cloud was home. He entered reluctantly, shutting the door behind him and noticed his friend wasn't in the immediate room. "Spike?" he called out. "You here? I have something to talk to you about," he added. There was no answer but when he peered into the bedroom he found his friend, sprawled over the bed on his stomach, still in his work clothes. Zack approached him slowly, not sure if Cloud was actually asleep or not. He sat down on the end of the bed and Cloud sucked in a breath quickly. He turned his head and looked at Zack.

"Sorry, buddy, did I startle you?" Zack asked.

"A little," his friend replied groggily. "I think I heard you, I was just…half out."

"You okay? You're not feeling sick are you?"

"No. Just…tired," Cloud responded with closed eyes.

"How long ago did you get in?" Zack questioned as he leaned back on his elbows.

Cloud thought for a moment. "Like…twenty minutes ago."

"I thought you only worked twelve hour days."

"Yeah…we were in the middle of something. Had to finish before leaving," Cloud explained. He turned over onto his back slowly.

"It's a little weird, ya know, coming home before you," Zack confessed after a moment.

"Yeah…'m sorry, I just…couldn't be here all day alone anymore, I was going nuts," his friend said lightly.

"No, I know. I'm happy to have you…uh, not nuts," Zack replied with a grin. "You hungry?" he questioned then.

"Uhh…no," Cloud spoke with a sigh. "I'm probably gonna pass out in the next five minutes."

Zack pulled himself off the bed to stand. "Alright, well…try changing your clothes first," he suggested as he headed for the door.

"Hey," Cloud called to him, halting him. "Did you say you had something you wanted to talk about?"

Zack thought about it. Cloud looked so exhausted. It probably wasn't the best time.

"No. Nothing," he replied with a taught smile before leaving the room.

Zack returned to the room about a half hour later. Cloud was sound asleep and had apparently made the effort to get out of his work clothes and get himself under the covers on the bed. Zack climbed in next to Cloud, releasing a long breath as his body sank into the mattress. He couldn't help but feel a little bad for Cloud. Whatever he was doing at work must have been truly tiring. But he couldn't feel too bad for him, he suspected Cloud actually liked being that tired.

Cloud _did _like it. Since starting work at the site, he rarely woke during the night and his sleeps were always heavy and largely undisturbed by too many dreams. He knew it probably wasn't going to last but at the moment he savored it. That night would be the first night since he'd started working that he would find himself confronted with an intense nightmare. He slipped into it sometime in the early morning hours. It enveloped him whole and thrust him into a place that felt all too real to be a dream.

He groaned aloud in protest as he found himself pressed against a hard surface, unable to move. In his line of sight he could see the handle of a knife protruding from the back of his hand, pinning it palm down to the surface below him. He didn't feel anything at first. The feelings rushed at him at once. Hands, gripping him all over. His back, shoulders, hair…his hips. Fingers were digging into his skin, pulling on him, while at the same time he was pushed harder into the surface below his torso. Thrust into it repeatedly. He felt terrified. Overwhelmed with the feelings of desperation and shame, though he wasn't entirely sure why yet. The realization of what was being done to him hit him suddenly. He was struck with tears as he began to struggle furiously, only to find himself unable to move. Laughter invaded his ears and he felt what he recognized then to be a table dig harder into his ribs and bare pelvis. The edge of the table was rough against his skin, biting into it like sandpaper. He screamed out, the sound becoming trapped before leaving his mouth.

He could feel his attacker. Every part that made contact with him and invaded him. Could hear every sound and muttered word the man made. There were others present, waiting to take the place of the man behind him. Cloud's mind told him he was in intense pain, though he didn't actually feel it in his body. Amongst the sounds swirling around him, he heard one thing in particular. _Little Bitch_.

His eyes snapped open as he tore out of that unexpected nightmare. He drew in a gasped breath and sat up fast, feeling the urge to move, just to make sure he had the ability to do so. He was sweating all over, his heart racing in his chest and a sick feeling taking over his stomach. It was steadily rising and he knew it was a warning. Next to him, Zack had started to wake.

"Spike?" his half-asleep friend spoke as Cloud struggled to untwist the bedding from himself. He made no reply as he pulled himself from the bed fast, nearly stumbling as he headed for the bathroom, feeling his stomach lurch on the way. He made it in front of the toilet just in time to throw up. He began to sob softly between heaves and he heard the sounds of Zack's approaching steps as he was finishing, tears still flowing freely. He attempted to take back control of his emotions.

"Spikey," Zack said softly as he crouched next to him, placing a hand on his back. At the gentle touch, Cloud burst into renewed sobs. "What's wrong?" Zack asked in deep concern.

"Why didn't you tell me I…" Cloud began. "That I-I was—that they—" He paused as another line of strangled sobs slipped from him. Zack shook his head a little, not understanding.

"It's alright," he assured his friend as he rubbed his back slowly.

"No," Cloud denied. "They…" He couldn't seem to get it out. To say what he was trying to say. To put it into words seemed impossible. The real memories of the event that had played out in his nightmare had started to come back to him. Most notably, the pain. "The guards, they—

Zack knew then what had gotten Cloud so upset. He breathed out slowly as he thought about it. He hadn't told Cloud about the simulations Hojo had put them through. He'd hoped that Cloud would never have to remember them. He pulled his sobbing friend towards himself and wrapped his arms around him tightly. "It's okay, buddy, it's okay," he tried to assure him. It didn't calm Cloud at all. "It didn't really happen, Spike," he added, knowing that there was a certain truth and untruth to the statement. "Really, Cloud, it didn't," he added more seriously. Cloud pulled back from him slightly.

"I—I don't understand. I _remember _it happening," he claimed.

"It was…a simulation," Zack revealed then.

"A what?"

"A simulation," Zack repeated. "Hojo used them in his tests sometimes. Or as…punishment…I guess," he explained uncomfortably. He sat himself down on the floor.

Cloud looked at him with unbelieving eyes. "But it…it felt real," he claimed shakily.

Cloud had that dreaded expression in his eyes. The look that said he was screaming inside. That this was going to be eating him up inside.

"Yeah," Zack agreed sadly. "But it wasn't. Alright?" he added firmly. More firmly than he was meaning. His tone was bordering on harsh. But he was angry. Not so much at Cloud, but at Hojo, and his staff. And the guards who had tried so hard to break them down. And himself. He swore he would never let something so terrible happen to his friend and he hadn't been able to stop it. He knew that Cloud wasn't just going to be able to get over it. Still, he felt the need to urge him to try. In a softer tone he said, "It never happened to you."

Cloud nodded slowly in acceptance though he still didn't understand how something that he could feel so wholly wasn't real. But he wanted to believe Zack. Wanted the comfort of knowing that that awful violation hadn't been inflicted on him. So he listened to Zack and let himself have that comfort.

"Alright," Zack said with a slow exhale. "You're okay?" he asked. Cloud nodded again though he lowered his eyes. "You sure?" Zack prodded. He watched Cloud wipe at the tears on his cheeks.

"Um…" Cloud began. 'No' was the first word that came to mind, but he withheld it. "I…I will be," he said at last as he feigned a bit of a smile.

"Okay," Zack said with his own nod in return. He reached for Cloud again, hugging him briefly once more. He gave Cloud a warm smile as he released him. "Let's try to get some more sleep, alright?" he suggested before rising to a stand. He reached out a hand for Cloud to take to help him to his feet but his friend made no movements to accept his gesture.

"I'll just be a few minutes," Cloud said softly, gazing up at Zack with reddened eyes. Zack looked upon him a little sadly, not really wanting to leave him alone, but knowing he probably needed those few minutes to himself. After a moment, he nodded and turned to leave. Cloud stopped him suddenly with a question. "Was that the only time that something…like _that_ happened.

_That depends_, Zack thought. They took their fair share of abuse, but nothing like _that _outside of that one simulation. At least not to Zack's knowledge.

"Yeah," Zack answered at last, deciding not to get into all the details of anything else they'd gone through. Cloud had already remembered what he considered to be the worst. But of course there were things Cloud had refused to share with him. A lot had gone on in Hojo's simulations that Zack hadn't heard about. "I think so," he added. "But uh, ya know, there's things you've never told me about so…really I can only guess." Cloud nodded again in understanding. Zack sighed in a type of defeat. Cloud didn't look any more at ease than before. He didn't want to leave him like that. He moved from the door and crouched down in front of his friend once again. "I'm sorry, buddy," he said sadly, looking down. "I promised myself I'd keep something like that from happening and I couldn't." It was worse than that. Not only had he not been able to stop it, but he'd been forced to witness it. He would never have wanted to be in Cloud's place during that ordeal but being in his own hadn't been a very pleasing alternative. His nightmares were rarely about things happening to himself. They were happening to those he cared about while he was made to only watch.

"It's not your fault, Zack," Cloud spoke finally. "It's not your job to look out for me," he added.

"You're my best friend, buddy," Zack countered. "I'm always going to try and look out for you." He smiled softly and Cloud made an attempt to mirror the gesture. "You comin' back to bed?" Zack asked then.

"Yeah," Cloud answered. "I still just…need a few minutes." Zack nodded in acceptance before leaving the bathroom. He returned to the bedroom with expectations that Cloud was going to be more than a few minutes.

When Zack had left the bathroom, Cloud exhaled hard as he squeezed his eyes shut and grasped the sides of his head. A painful pressure had been spreading through his head as he was in the bathroom but he had tried not to let on to Zack what he was feeling. Evidently, he'd hidden that pain well enough. He released a series of soft groans as he rocked himself on the floor, his head still clenched in his hands. The pain was growing sharper. It subsided slowly after a few minutes and he was able to at least open his eyes. He spotted something immediately on the front of his shirt. A spot of red. Grasping the neckline of his shirt, he pulled it downward, releasing one of the ports in his chest to the open air. Blood was seeping through the centre of the port, in the same way it had when he was with Zack at Jacob's house. Immediately, he was reminded of the fact he hadn't given himself his injections in a few days. Zack was unaware of that fact.

More blood spots seeped through the material of his shirt at the locations of his other ports in his arms and the other side of his chest. There was a bit more than there'd been at Jacob's, though not by much. Enough that it was going to ruin the shirt and if he wanted to keep Zack from finding out he was going to have to get rid of the evidence. He didn't exactly like keeping things from his friend, but he didn't want him to worry more than he already was.

Zack had been lying in bed and waiting for Cloud, not intending to fall back asleep, though he still did. He thought when he'd woken that it had only been about ten minutes or so, but the clock next to the bed told him differently. It was ten in the morning. He snapped awake fast at seeing the time but relaxed as he reminded himself if was a Saturday and he wasn't expected to be into work. He looked over at Cloud's side of the bed to see it empty.

He found Cloud in the living room lying on the couch with one arm across his face, covering his eyes. He lifted it slightly to look at Zack before lowering it again. Zack approached the couch and stood next to it, looking down at his friend.

"I seem to remember you saying something about only being a few minutes," he said as he patted the side of Cloud's one leg, urging him to draw his knees up to make space for him to sit down.

"I was. When I got back into bed you were asleep," Cloud replied tiredly. Zack had to admit he actually felt a little guilty about that.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," he began but Cloud stopped him.

"Well I wasn't expecting you to wait up," he said with a light scoff. Zack nodded, though it was a pointless gesture since Cloud couldn't see it.

"Well, uh, how long you been out here on the couch?" he questioned curiously.

"Since about ten minutes after I got back into the bed." He raised his arm again to look at Zack. "I had a headache," he revealed. Zack raised an eyebrow.

"So…you thought sleeping on the couch would help?" he asked.

"No, but your snoring certainly wasn't," Cloud countered.

"Oh. Sorry," Zack mumbled. He'd never really thought much about the possibility that he may snore. It wasn't like someone had mentioned it to him before and Cloud had certainly never said anything. And they'd spent a lot of time sleeping in the direct vicinity of each other. Now that he was thinking of it, he couldn't recall even one time having heard Cloud snore. "How's your head now?" he inquired.

"It's killing me," Cloud answered with a huffed breath. It hadn't stopped it's steady pounding since it started earlier that morning in the bathroom. It had subsided to at least a bearable level after several minutes, at which point he'd discovered his ports bleeding. He'd discarded of his soiled shirt outside when he'd made sure Zack was actually asleep.

"Want me to see if I can find you something to take for it?" Zack inquired. "Acetaminophen? Ibuprofen?"

"No," Cloud mumbled though he actually would have loved to have something like that at the moment. He wasn't going to encourage Zack to go out to get any. "I'll be fine."

There was a bit of a strange silence then between them. Since his horrifyingly revealing nightmare in the early hours of the morning, Cloud had been getting back bits and pieces of memories he'd forgotten. They seemed associated with one another as they were mostly to do with the same guards. He could recall now the separate incidences in which the guards had tried to make his and Zack's lives more miserable, though he was uncertain of when it all started. He also wasn't sure of which order his memories were supposed to go in but he was fairly certain of one in particular being the first occasion on which he was assaulted physically by the guards. He was alone in a cold, dark room, suspended by his wrists from the ceiling. Three guards had entered the room, intent on paying him back for something but he couldn't remember why. One of them had given him a serious burn on his side. He was able to confirm that by lifting his shirt. He still had the scar. They'd had intentions of sexually assaulting him that night. Someone had stopped it from happening. He wasn't sure who. He couldn't remember that much.

What he had remembered next was that the guards were replaced by enforcers after he and Zack were attacked in their cell in the middle of the night. One of the guards had held a knife to his throat and forced him to watch as Zack was beaten brutally in front of him. All the while, the guard had been whispering to him about all the things he was going to do to him, to _his body_. As hard as it was to think about it rationally, he knew that his encounters with the guards hadn't been about sex. They'd been about control, and humiliation. As far as he could tell, none of the guards had really 'desired' him. They were more aroused over the thought of cutting him down to nothing. Over making him hurt and suffer. But he had been wanted. Wanted in a way that made him far more uncomfortable than those encounters with the guards had. All he could see in his mind was the man's face. His name was sitting on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't remember if the man was an enforcer or someone else working for Hojo…

Zack's words fell upon him suddenly. "Is…everything alright, Spike?" his friend questioned uneasily. Cloud lowered his arm from his face to his chest and met Zack's eyes.

"Yeah," Cloud answered weakly. "Sure…I just…" he tried to think of what he wanted to say. If he should attempt to talk about anything he'd remembered over the past several hours. He had that bit of hope that if he mentioned what he'd seen to Zack then maybe his friend would reveal it had all been in simulation. But somehow he knew better. He had questions though. One in particular as the name he'd been trying to recall floated to the front of his mind. He threw it out there, wondering what Zack's reaction was going to be. "Who's Vince Vallow?"

At first, nothing in Zack's expression changed. He simply stared at Cloud as though he had never heard the name _Vince Vallow _before in his life.

"Do you…" Cloud began, trailing off a little as he watched his friend's expression and composure change slowly. Zack blinked several times, his brow furrowing and his eyes suddenly reddening from building emotion. Which emotions, Cloud couldn't be sure. "…know who he is?" Cloud finished his question, though he knew it was pointless. Clearly Zack recognized the name. His lower lip quivered.

"Yeah," he said as he looked away. "I know who he is." Zack breathed in slowly as he tried not to let the man's image fill up his mind. It had taken him a long time to rid the man from his mind after…after what he'd participated in with Vallow. "He was a hired goon," he explained simply before resting his fist against his mouth. It seemed to help him keep control of his emotions rising up. "What do you remember about him?" he dared to ask. "Do you remember—"

_Killing him?_ It was the first thing ready to leap from Zack's mouth. _Killing him because of what I did to protect you?_ Vallow had been interested in Cloud from the day he started working for Hojo. He made no real secret of it. And Zack had suspected the man's brief words and touches were going to escalate to something more serious. He'd offered himself to Vallow in order to keep him away from Cloud and it had worked for awhile. Until Cloud found out what had being going on behind his back.

"I remember his face. His name. That I hated him…" Cloud explained slowly as he was thinking.

Zack was relieved for that. He truly hoped Cloud never remembered more details than that. Zack certainly remembered enough about the man for the both of them. He remembered almost every part of Vallow and more. Details he shouldn't have to know. The way his hands felt. The sound of his exited breath. The way he smelled and…tasted? Zack felt suddenly ill.

"He was just an asshole, Cloud," he said as he rose from the couch and moved to the fridge where he retrieved a bottle of water. "They all were," he added as he leaned on the counter. "I think I am going to go get some ibuprofen," he said, switching topics. _And puke my guts out while I'm at_ _it_, he thought to himself.

Cloud displayed a bit of a grim expression that Zack couldn't see before turning onto his side on the couch and looking at the T.V. screen that was on but had the volume down.

"You wanna come?" Zack asked from where he stood in the kitchen.

"No," Cloud replied quietly.

Zack couldn't decide if he was happy about that or not. He felt like he needed some time to himself to get his thoughts sorted but it made him uneasy that Cloud didn't want to get out of the apartment. Sure, he was working and that got him out enough, but he'd never turned down the added time out. Zack said nothing else as he made his way into the bedroom to get dressed. When he returned to the living room, Cloud hadn't moved at all and made no indication he was about to anytime soon. He did pull his legs in once again, however, as Zack motioned to sit down so he could tie up his boots.

"You take your meds yet?" he asked his quiet friend whose eyes were fixed to the silent television.

"No," Cloud replied truthfully.

"You gotta stay consistent with them, Spike—" Zack began to lecture but Cloud cut him off.

"I know. I just, forgot about them. I'll take them when you leave."

Zack didn't like that at all. How was he going to know for sure that Cloud actually did give himself his injections? He _wouldn't_ know for sure. He had to trust that he would.

"You want me to just give them to you right now?" he suggested, hoping that Cloud would just accept without argument.

"No," Cloud denied. He met Zack's concerned gaze. "I'll do it, Zack, I promise. Just go," he urged. Exhaling a little forcefully, Zack accepted Cloud's promise and stood himself up. He paused at the door.

"You'll be here when I get back, right?" he asked hesitantly.

"Zack, I swear if you ask me that again I'm gonna punch you in the face," Cloud answered him lightly. Zack smiled.

"Fine," he said as he unlocked the apartment door and pulled it open. He stopped once more, looking back.

"I don't hear you leaving," Cloud spoke up once again and Zack rolled his eyes.

"Alright, I'm goin'," Zack muttered before stepping out of the apartment and closing the door behind him. He descended the steps outside the door and headed around the back of the building. As he passed the garbage cans leaning against the back wall, he stopped. A piece of material was peeking out from under the lid of the one can. There was nothing suspicious about it and yet something in him told him to check it out. He lifted the lid on the can and looked down at the crumpled ball of material resting on the top of the garbage under it. He set the lid down and picked up the material, spreading it out and holding it up. It was a shirt. Cloud's actually. His wonderings over why Cloud would have thrown out the shirt were stopped when he looked over the dried brownish red stains in the fabric. "Oh…no…" he spoke aloud in dread as he realized Cloud's ports had been bleeding again. The fact that Cloud had tried to hide it made him feel worse than knowing he'd been bleeding did. "Damn it, Spike," he cursed softly before crushing the material back up into a ball and depositing it in the garbage once again. He replaced the lid and glanced up at the apartment feeling angry and hurt, and unsure of what he should say to Cloud when he returned home later.

000

After what he found in the garbage, Zack had thought about going back to the apartment. To confront Cloud about what was going on. But he really needed to get away for a little while. Memories of Vallow had spread through him like a flood and he needed something to distract himself. He headed down into the centre of the sector where a market was set up. He was met with the smells of fresh foods and spices. He decided then that he and Cloud could do with some wholesome foods. They'd been living on mostly canned food for awhile now. After securing himself some pain killers, he approached one of the fruit stands. He picked up some apples, oranges, and blueberries before moving on to the vegetable stand. As he scanned over the selection, his eyes came to rest upon a variety of beans. He laughed a little as looked down on one particularly special type. The last time he'd seen them, he'd been in Nibelheim. Reaching for one of the small plastic bags, he grasped onto one of the wooden scoops nearby and began scooping some of the beans into the bag.

"Krenoah beans," a voice remarked from behind him. He turned just as the person who'd spoken stepped up next to him in front of the stand. It was Tifa. He froze at first, but after a moment, continued on as if she weren't there. "Those are Cloud's favourite vegetable. Even though they aren't technically a vegetable. Weird, huh? But of course, you probably already knew that."

Zack refused to look at her as he tied off the bag of beans. "What? That they aren't really a vegetable or that they're Cloud's favourite?" he asked.

"You tell me," Tifa replied sharply. He only scoffed before moving to the next stand over. "Did you talk to him?" Tifa asked, having followed him.

"Sure. I talk to him all the time," he agreed as he inspected some ginger root.

"About me?" she clarified. Zack sighed in exasperation and annoyance. He really didn't feel like having this discussion with her.

"No, I didn't," he announced to her. There was a brief silence for a moment before she spoke again.

"Why not?" she inquired.

"Because I didn't feel like it," Zack suggested as he handed some money to the seller behind the stand in front of him and placed a hunk of the ginger root in a bag. "What does it matter?" he asked as he finally looked at Tifa. "I already told you he doesn't remember you."

"It does matter!" Tifa proclaimed as she continued to follow him through the market. "Can't you understand what he means to me?"

"No, I couldn't possibly, why don't you tell me 'bout it," Zack replied sarcastically though she largely ignored him.

"My family is _dead_, Zack!" she nearly shouted as she grabbed his arm and stopped him. "My friends are _dead_. My whole world was shattered that day Nibelheim was burned down. I had _no one_. I _have _no one. Even now." Tears had begun to trail from her eyes. "Cloud is the only thing left of that life I lost. I don't _care _that he doesn't remember me. I just need him. I will start over with him if that's what it takes. Please, just let me see him," she begged.

Zack had softened himself once more. He really hated to see her crying. He hated to see any girl crying.

"I understand what you're feeling, Tifa, I do," he said genuinely. "And I'm sorry for what you had to go through. What you're still going through. But I still stand by what I've said. I don't think Cloud's ready to see you. Although your intentions are good, it's still going to hurt him. Confuse him. I can't do it, Tifa. Not right now."

She looked at him with protest in her eyes, though she strangely didn't argue. She nodded slowly and said a quiet "Okay."

"I gotta go," Zack said then. It flashed in his mind that maybe he should hug her, pat her on the arm, something. But he hadn't realized how uncomfortable with the thought of touching another person he was until that moment when he felt like he _should _make that contact. Cloud was the only person he'd really had contact with in a 'human' sense for a very long time. As much as he knew what he _should _do, he couldn't will himself to comfort Tifa with anything other than words. "I'm sorry. I have to go," he said before turning to leave.

He headed back to the apartment quickly, feeling oddly ashamed of himself. He had to protect Cloud. He should feel good about that, but he didn't. He felt bad for Tifa, and he wanted to be able to give her what she wanted, but when it came right down to what was more important to him, it was Cloud.

Tifa watched Zack ascend the wood steps up to the apartment above the store she had followed him to. She'd been discrete. No way was she going to let him decide for her whether she could see her friend. She had to get back to the bar but she would be returning to the apartment the next day. She was going to see Cloud.

When Zack entered the apartment, he found Cloud still on the couch where he'd left him. "Hey buddy," he spoke to him as he closed the door and locked it. He'd been waiting hours to talk to Cloud about the find he'd made down in the garbage later, though part of him actually wanted to let Cloud believe he knew nothing of what his friend was hiding. Cloud made a small sound in acknowledgment of Zack's presence. "How's the head?" Zack asked as he set down the bags of food he'd bought on the counter. "Any better?"

"Not really," Cloud replied lowly.

"Well I got something that should help," Zack spoke back, reaching into his pocket for the bottle of pain relievers. He grabbed some water from the fridge and joined Cloud by the couch. "Sit up," he instructed and Cloud complied slowly, wincing as he did so. Zack sat down next to Cloud and handed him two white tablets and the water. He watched Cloud swallow down the pills. Now seemed about the time he should say something about the shirt…

"I found something in the garbage," he said softly. Though Cloud didn't look at him, he could tell his friend knew he'd been caught.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Cloud said immediately, surprising Zack a little.

"Why _didn't _you tell me?" Zack inquired. Cloud shrugged.

"There's…nothing you can really do about it," his friend suggested.

"There may be," Zack argued.

"Like what?"

"Well I don't _know_, but I can try to at least figure it out," Zack rationalized.

"Yeah, I guess," Cloud mumbled before attempting to stand. It took him a moment as he rose slowly to avoid the increase in pounding in his head. He moved behind the couch, toward the kitchen counter where he set down the water Zack had brought him. Without warning, a feeling of numbness came over his legs and he almost dropped to the floor. He reached up fast, gripping one of the cabinet handles in one hand and the freezer door handle in the other. His knees slammed against the cabinets under the counter in front of him and Zack turned back fast.

"What happened?" he questioned as he stood up from the couch.

"Nothing," Cloud assured him as he kept his firm grip on the handles in each of his hand. He tried not to let all his weight rest on them as he feared that the cabinet handle was going to break away from the cabinet if he did. "I tripped," he lied.

"On what?" Zack asked as he looked down at the floor, seeing nothing.

"My own foot," Cloud answered and Zack looked at him, at his hands still gripping the handles they were holding. He knew Cloud was lying.

"Let go of the handles," he ordered then.

"Why?" Cloud asked oddly.

"You can't stand up, can you?" Zack asked more insistently.

"What? Yes, I can." Cloud tried to seem confident and casual.

"Then let go of them," Zack ordered again. Cloud looked up at the cabinet handle in his right hand.

"No," he denied, refusing Zack's order.

"Spike, let them go. If you can stand then you'll let them go," Zack urged. He could see Cloud's arms shaking a little as they held his weight up.

Cloud shook his head. He knew he couldn't stand. He felt very little below his waist at the moment. Only a vague awareness that his feet were still touching tile. His decision was made for him suddenly as the handle finally pulled away from the cabinet. He gasped and Zack reached out to stop his fall, grabbing onto his upper body and keeping him upright.

"Did you take your medications?" he questioned then. Cloud said nothing. "You didn't, did you?" he said more forcefully. When his friend remained silent he felt himself getting angry. "Damn it, Cloud! Did you even take them yesterday? Or the day before?!" Again, no answer. He cursed and lowered Cloud to the floor, not bothering in trying to be gentle. He left him there as he headed into the bedroom, grabbing one of the syringes and the bottles of liquid from the dresser. He returned to his friend on the floor.

"No!" Cloud declared from where he sat as he saw what Zack had in his hands. Zack was filling the syringe with the first liquid. He noticed with sadness the way Cloud tried to move away from him as he approached. He knelt in front of Cloud, holding the syringe out to him.

"Give yourself the injection, Cloud," he demanded firmly and Cloud recoiled from it.

"No," he said definitively.

"Do it, Cloud!" Zack nearly shouted. Cloud shook his head in refusal repeating 'no' once more. "Do it, or I will!" Zack warned.

"You said you wouldn't make me do that!" Cloud shouted back.

"I lied!" Zack countered, offering the syringe to Cloud one last time before reaching for his left arm. Cloud pulled back fast and held his arms to his chest, keeping his inner elbows hidden. "Stop this, Cloud!" he spoke angrily as though he were speaking to a child.

"You stop!" Cloud shot back at him. "I'm not taking it!" He attempted to move away from Zack, pushing him back and then trying to crawl away. Zack pulled him back, forcing him down onto his back and straddling him to keep him in place. He was well aware of the significance of that unfortunate position but there wasn't really any way around it.

"No, Zack! Stop!" Cloud cried out as tears were filling his eyes. He could have struggled harder. Hell, he could have thrown a punch, but he didn't want to do that to his friend. Instead, Cloud tried to dissuade Zack with his pleas.

"You need this, Cloud!" Zack yelled at him as he tried to keep a hold on Cloud and the syringe at the same time. "You're gonna get sick again!"

"I don't care!" Cloud protested. "What are you gonna do when there's no medicines left, Zack?" he questioned then. "Rob another pharmacy? Put yourself at risk for me again! I don't want that, Zack!"

Zack ignored him as he pushed down harder into Cloud, keeping him tightly pressed against the floor. He set down the syringe to grab hold of Cloud's arms, using Cloud's right arm to pin down his left, palm up. Cloud really was crying then as he made more half-hearted attempts at pulling himself free. "Zack, please, don't," he pleaded once more before Zack was able to get the needle on the syringe inserted into the skin of his inner elbow. He stopped struggling altogether when he felt the rush of cool liquid in his arm. Zack reached for the other bottles, finishing with the second and third injections swiftly. He moved himself off of Cloud, sitting back against the cabinets behind him as he took in some unsteady breaths. Cloud turned away from him, onto his side, holding his inner elbow as he cried softly. Zack pitched the syringe across the room angrily before placing his hand in his hair at the side of his head and resting his elbow on his one drawn up knee.

"I'm sorry," he began slowly, still breathing a little forcefully from his brief fight with his friend. "I know you're hurting, and that you're confused, and that you just want to get away from all the pain of the memories…but I love you, Cloud, and I'm not going to watch you kill yourself over it. Even if you hate me for it."

He rose to his feet then and turned towards the counter, pressing his forehead against the bottom of the one cabinet before slamming his fist into it, making Cloud jump a little, though he didn't see it. He left Cloud alone as he stalked out of the apartment, letting the door slam behind him. He made his way to the bottom of the stairs where he collapsed on the second last step and burst into his own quiet sobs, his face in his hands.

000

The last thing Zack felt like doing after a half hour of sitting on the stairs was to go back into the apartment to face Cloud. He was afraid to look at him and see in his eyes that he'd been hurt. Worst than that. Betrayed. Betrayed by the one person he should be able to trust. Zack certainly felt as though he'd betrayed Cloud. That he'd hurt him. What he'd done, he did because he could see no alternative. He could see in his friend that hopelessness that Zack felt himself but wasn't willing to let take him over. Cloud was strong but so close to the edge. He let irrationality make his decisions for him. And it wasn't his fault. He was still a kid. Trapped in a young man's body. He hated that he'd needed to force something on him, but to stand by and allow him to give in to the darkness wasn't an option.

He re-entered the apartment quietly, half-expecting to see Cloud still on the kitchen floor but he wasn't. After a quick look in the bedroom, Zack determined Cloud was in the bathroom. He waited for Cloud out in the living room, playing with the hemline of his shirt mindlessly. Minutes dragged on and Cloud remained in the bathroom. It occurred to Zack not long after that Cloud had locked himself in there, isolating himself. And perhaps hiding? Hiding from him? It wouldn't have surprised Zack.

He approached the bathroom door after nearly an hour of flipping through channels of mostly static on the television. They only got a few channels of programming. He knocked softly before speaking.

"You gonna be in there forever, Spike?" he called through the door. There was no reply. "I'm gonna need to pee soon," he added. He sighed when he again received no answer, putting his one palm against the door. "You know I'm sorry, Spike. There's nothing else I can really think of to say…I know you're mad at me. I guess you have a right to be. But…can you at least open the door, let me talk to you?"

Nothing.

Zack could think of a few things to do. He could yell, hammer at the door and demand Cloud open it. Or he could just kick it down. He chose to do none of the above, heading back to the couch instead where he could will away more hours uselessly.

He gave up on waiting for Cloud at around seven-thirty. He'd already had to go outside a few times to pee. He'd basically accepted Cloud hated him now and intended to never speak to him again. And that he'd be lucky if Cloud actually returned home from work on Monday. He got into bed despite the early hour and lay in semi-dark, watching the minutes changing on the clock next to him. He wasn't sure when he actually fell asleep but he was awoken when he felt the mattress dip down next to him. He opened his eyes and found himself staring into Cloud's weary face.

"Hey," Zack whispered softly. "You okay?" he questioned. Cloud's face changed as he looked about ready to break down once again. He uttered a weak sound that said he wasn't okay as he shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he managed to get out before his emotions prevented him from speaking.

"No," Zack said fast. "Don't say that, Spikey." He was utterly shocked to hear that apology. He hadn't been expecting it at all. "Come 'ere," he urged, though he didn't wait for Cloud to move the extra few inches toward him. He made the shift himself and reached his one arm under Cloud's head. He pulled him closer as Cloud tucked himself into Zack's body, curling up small as he pressed his forehead to Zack's chest. Zack rested his cheek on the top of Cloud's head, squeezing his arms a little tighter around his friend. He breathed in deeply, feeling a great deal of tension leaving him.

"I keep waiting for the memories to get better…" Cloud spoke shakily, his voice muffled. "And they just get worse. I was stupid to want to remember. You knew how terrible it would be and you tried to protect me from that and I didn't care." He paused to take a breath before beginning to cry openly. "I don't wanna remember anymore," he said through sobs. Zack closed his eyes as he frowned, running a hand through some of Cloud's hair. He knew he should say something, but he couldn't think of anything to say. He could tell Cloud again for the hundredth time that things would be alright, but it seemed pointless. Cloud was likely to get more comfort out of getting out what he needed to say than he would from hearing Zack's reassurances.

"I wanna go home," Cloud said then. "To see my mother and father." Zack nodded slightly, though hearing Cloud mention his father seemed out of place. As far as knew, Cloud had no father—well, he _did _but he'd never known him. But Cloud also had no recollection of his past. So perhaps he just assumed he had a father…

Cloud took another breath, grasping the blanket covering himself and Zack. He pulled it close to his chin and readjusted his upper body resting against Zack's. "I wanna go home," he repeated softly. "To Gongaga."

Zack froze over that one word. He told himself he hadn't heard right, but he knew he had. Feeling his pulse suddenly increase, he tried to remain calm as he let his reply slip from his mouth. One, small, uneasy word.

"What?"


	10. Chapter 9

_Hey everyone. Just a few words before you get into the chapter. First, thank you for all your reviews on the last chapter. I realize I've been taking a ridiculously long time to get back to you. Up until now I've waited until just before I update to reply to you but since it's taking awhile to get chapters out I'm going to try and get back to you sooner, like within a few days of you reviewing. I'll be getting some holidays soon so I'm hoping to be able to get a lot of writing done then. Also, I just wanted to mention that while the past few chapters have been fairly restricted in setting in that they take place mostly in Zack and Cloud's apartment, the plot is going to pick up after this chapter and we'll see the introduction of more characters, old and new. Thanks again for your patience guys and for sticking by me and continuing to read and reveiw. It motivates me big time! ^^_

_Songs: Our Last Days as Children by Explosions in the Sky, __Re: Stacks by Bon Iver, __Des Moines by Halloween, Alaska, and __Writings on the Wall by Album Leaf._

Chapter IX

_I wanna go home to Gongaga. To Gongaga. Gongaga. _The words were repeating over and over in Zack's head. Even as Cloud began to describe some of the things he remembered from Gongaga. It took Zack a moment to make himself believe he heard right. And finally, as he let himself hear what Cloud was saying, all the details he was giving about his own hometown, he found his mind filling with questions. How could Cloud think he was from Gongaga? How could he know so many details of the place? Should he stop him? Tell him that he's mistaken, that he's not really from where he thinks he is?

He should have said something. Should have been truthful. But instead, he said nothing. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. For the first time since Cloud woke up from his coma, he was remembering something good. Something comforting. He listened absent-mindedly, nodding softly against the top of Cloud's head just under his chin, all the while he went over and over how this could be happening. He had told Cloud about Gongaga on many occasions while he assumed Cloud was unconscious. So he must have heard those things. But why did he believe they were his own memories?

It hurt Zack to imagine what Cloud would think when he realized what he remembered never happened, not to him anyway. He could imagine how sad it would be when his friend realized he had no hometown. It had been destroyed along with the only member of his family. He almost wished Cloud never did remember.

He felt himself get emotional suddenly as he listened to Cloud describing the house he grew up in. At the mention of the yellow door, he was struck with tears. They slid down his cheek silently, getting absorbed by Cloud's hair. He wished he was at home, with his parents, in that house. But he wasn't.

"Sounds nice, doesn't it?" Cloud questioned then. Zack forced himself to respond, keeping his voice steady so as not to let on what he was feeling.

"Yeah…it sounds great," he agreed. "You should probably try to sleep now, buddy," he suggested then, rubbing Cloud's back a little.

Cloud was quiet a moment, like he wanted to protest. But he gave in with a small sigh. "Yeah," he said at last before shifting himself out of Zack's hold slightly. Zack wiped his cheeks quickly before Cloud could see he'd been crying. Fortunately, the dark of the room masked it somewhat. Cloud turned over onto his other side slowly, facing away from Zack. He took a deep breath before saying something else. "I'm glad you're here, Zack," he said softly. Zack suspected Cloud was meaning something deeper than just being glad to have him in the room.

"Me too," Zack replied softly. He kept his eyes on the back of Cloud's head for what felt like forever. He felt a little relieved when he realized Cloud had finally fallen asleep. He turned onto his back then and placed his hands behind his head. It had been a long day and with the way things were going they were only going to get longer.

000

"The trail is going cold," Cissnei remarked from her place at the table where her colleagues had convened that Sunday morning for one of their discrete meetings. Discrete, meaning secret and completely illegal. No one said anything. They knew she was right. "I thought for sure Zack would have attempted to see Aerith by now," Cissnei added as she studied Tseng's face from where he was sitting at the end of the table. She was well aware of the amount of time their leader was spending with the girl. His rationale was that he was hoping to increase the chance of running into Zack but she suspected it was something else. It almost seemed as though he was trying to spend as much time as possible with her _before _Zack returned to her. The irony of the situation was that Tseng's presence at the church may have cost them their one chance of catching up with the ex-SOLDIER. That wasn't something Cissnei knew, or any of the others. Only Tseng was aware of that fact. He hadn't been able to shake the feeling that Zack had been at the church that one night weeks ago and had seen he and Aerith on the steps together.

"I say we move on," Reno suggested as he spun around in his chair slowly. "Screw pretty boy and his girlfriend," he included.

"Aerith really has nothing to do with this," Tseng muttered, drawing a brief inquisitive look from Cissnei.

"I wasn't meaning _her_," Reno clarified. He'd been referring to Cloud. "We don't need 'em," Reno added. Cissnei scoffed and turned to argue but Tseng spoke before she could.

"We _do_ need them, Reno," the dark-haired leader said as he rose from his chair and began a slow pace behind it. "_They _are our leverage."

"And just what do you think is going to happen if we actually do find them?" Reno inquired sharply. "Fair's going to tell you where to go, that's what."

"Perhaps," Tseng replied simply. "But we have to try to reason at least. For now, we do the jobs we're supposed to be doing, but keep an eye out for any possible signs of Zack or Cloud. There's no reason to believe they've left the city—"

"No reason to believe they're still in it either," Reno countered.

"Are you capable of shutting up?" Cissnei questioned fast.

"Nope," Reno replied with a smug grin.

"The meeting is over," Tseng said then, ending their brief stare down with each other. The small group of Turks filed out but Cissnei stayed behind. Tseng wasn't even aware she was still present until she spoke, bringing him out of his short trance as he was gazing out one of the ceiling to floor windows in the room.

"It must be strange having to keep this all secret from Elena," Cissnei commented as she leaned back against the table and crossed her arms. Tseng glanced at her over his shoulder. "You've been partners a long time."

"Yes, we have."

"Explain to me again why it is that she's not involved in this."

"She can't be trusted," Tseng explained. "She's too devoted to the president. She's far more impartial than we are. She does her job the way she's supposed to."

"There's nothing wrong with questioning the system," Cissnei argued.

"Yes there is. We are paid not to question it. What we are doing is synonymous with treason."

"Treason? A little extreme don't you think?"

"That's what it is."

"Maybe," Cissnei finally agreed reluctantly. "But it's also the right thing to do."

000

Zack looked back at the clock on the wall above the T.V. as he was throwing together a sandwich. Not much of a breakfast food but it was closer to lunch anyway. He'd woken early and could count on one hand the number of hours of sleep he'd gotten. Cloud was still asleep and looked like he could be in that state forever. He was so quiet when he slept. And still. Something that never ceased to freak Zack out a little bit. He almost preferred it when Cloud was sick and trembling or shivering. At least he would know his friend was still breathing. He peered into the bedroom as he was passing with his sandwich, headed for the couch. Cloud was still lying as he was when Zack had woken hours earlier. He was on his stomach, his one arm under the pillow the side of his head was resting on.

Zack exhaled forcefully as he sat down. He glanced up at the clock once more. If Cloud didn't wake up on his own shortly he was going to have to wake him up. He needed his medication. Something he probably should have gotten a few hours earlier but Zack hated the thought of seeing that look of distress peeking out from under his friend's accepting expression when he realized it was time for another set of injections.

Zack waited another half hour before picking himself up from the couch and heading into the bedroom. He flopped down on his side of the bed, making the mattress bounce purposely. He watched Cloud as he sat with his back leaning against the wall behind him. He heard his friend inhale deeply, his back rising slowly. Besides shifting a little, he didn't seem to be showing any intention of rising.

"Spiiike…" Zack murmured softly. Cloud was still. "Spikey," he said a little louder. When Cloud still made no movements, he began to whistle a SOLDIER Academy song. After a few seconds, Cloud stirred, pulling his arm out from under the pillow under him and turning over slowly. Zack let his whistling fade out after a moment. He smiled brightly.

"What was that?" Cloud questioned.

"My, uh, poor attempt at whistling the proper notes to a song?" Zack suggested with a light laugh. Cloud didn't laugh. He was squinting a little as though he were trying to remember something.

"What song?" he asked.

"It's an old SOLDIER song," Zack revealed. "Do you remember hearing it?" he asked hesitantly.

"I dunno…" Cloud said as he appeared to be thinking. "Maybe." He propped himself up on his one elbow. "I still don't remember being in SOLDIER."

_You weren't_, Zack thought. Another bit of information he hadn't yet divulged to his friend. Now would have been a good time to tell him. He was bound to find out eventually, either by remembering or by some fluke coming across a news article that identified him as a PFC of the army. Yes, he should tell Cloud that he was never a SOLDIER. And that he's not from Gongaga. And that he no longer has parents. And that he never had any friends growing up, except the one, who actually wants to see him but he won't know her anyway so it'll just freak him out. And that the one person he should be able to trust is the one letting him live the lies.

He smiled then before reaching over to the side table for one of the syringes. He was going to have to find someplace to get more syringes soon. He'd been reusing the same ones for awhile now. The medicines themselves were also getting low. "Well you're not missing out on much," he claimed as he was filling the syringe.

"Maybe if you talked about what it was like..." Cloud suggested hesitantly. Zack flinched inwardly. He didn't want to talk about SOLDIER. He didn't even really want to think about it.

"Yeah," he said a little more quietly than he'd been meaning. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, sure." When he became aware that Cloud was looking at him expectantly he added, "Someday soon."

Cloud nodded, though there was a bit of disappointment in his expression.

"Here," Zack said as he reached for Cloud's arm.

"Can I?" Cloud asked, wanting to give himself the injection.

Zack passed the syringe over to his friend, feeling a little unsure if Cloud really did want to do it himself or just didn't want him to. Cloud pulled his one sleeve up on his shirt. Right away they both spotted something around the ports in his skin.

"What's—are you still bleeding?" Zack questioned, reaching out to take Cloud's arm.

"No, it's…dry," Cloud replied, scratching a bit of the blood off his skin. "It's probably from yesterday." He hoped. Zack let go of his arm and sat back against the wall behind him again. He averted his eyes as Cloud proceeded with his injection. As he finished the first one, Zack reached for the next bottle of liquid on the table. "So, how come you didn't get any?" Cloud asked. Zack turned back to him.

"Any…?" Zack inquired, handing the next bottle over to his friend. "Oh," he added as he realized Cloud was referring to the ports. "Uh, I dunno. Guess you were just a little more special," he explained with a tight smile.

Cloud made his second insertion with the needle, wincing against the sting. "You sure it wasn't something to do with me being…inadequate or something?" he asked.

Hearing Cloud use that word, 'inadequate,' conjured up distinct memories of Hojo and his way with insults. He'd certainly used the term on more than one occasion to describe his friend.

"Why would you think that?" he asked back.

"That was the reason wasn't it?" Cloud avoided revealing if he'd actually remembered Hojo's words.

Zack released a breath. "No. That's not it at all, Spike," he assured him. It was true that Hojo may have seen Cloud as inadequate but that's not why he'd had the ports implanted. If his memory served him correctly, and there certainly wasn't much he didn't remember clearly of their captivity. "It's 'cause you were better," he stated. Cloud scoffed and shook his head in clear skepticism. "Hey, I'm not lying," Zack assured him.

"How am I better, Zack?" Cloud asked sharply. "You're stronger, bigger—"

"Taller," Zack jumped in jokingly. Cloud didn't really seem amused.

Sighing, Zack tried to persuade his friend further. "Look, you've managed to do things no one else could. I mean, I know you don't remember it but you took down the 'great' Sephiroth. That was something I couldn't do. I know it's not really a good thing but, you were more important to Hojo and his…goal."

Cloud looked at him. He held a hand out, waiting for the third bottle of liquid. Zack handed it to him slowly. There was silence between them a moment while Cloud filled the syringe. Finally, he responded.

"So. Because I killed Sephiroth?" he inquired.

Zack thought about it. No. It wasn't because he killed Sephiroth. Not _only _because of that. It was because of Jenova. And the clear influence she had over him. But he couldn't tell Cloud that. He never would. There were a ton of lies he wished he could gather the courage to set straight but this wasn't one of them. He didn't even want the notion or the idea of Jenova in his head. She'd had enough of his time in the lab.

"Yeah," Zack agreed, smiling again. "Yeah, exactly." He got off the bed and stretched. He glanced back at Cloud. "You gonna get your ass out of bed for awhile? Before it's time to get back into it?"

"Yeah, I guess," his friend said as he reached over and placed the syringe down on the night stand. "I'm sorta starving."

"Well I'll make you something," Zack offered. "What do you want?" He headed out to the main room.

"What do we have?" Cloud called after him. He lifted himself off the bed, standing straight for only a brief moment before a rush went to his head and he had to sit back down for a few seconds. He rose a little slower on his second attempt, shrugging off his momentary weakness. He pulled his sleeve down on his one arm and headed out of the room after Zack. His friend was leaning over in front of the open fridge, rummaging for something. Cloud stopped in front of the fridge door and rested his forearms on it. Zack popped back up with something held in his fingers. It looked like a bean.

"Here, try this," Zack said. Cloud took the bean from him and looked at it. "Taste it," Zack urged. Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"Raw?" he questioned.

"Sure. Didn't stop you before!"

Cloud's inquisitive expression stayed in place. "Before?"

"Yeah. You were practically popping them like candy in Nibelheim," Zack divulged as he leaned back against the fridge with crossed arms. Hesitantly, Cloud placed the bean in his mouth and bit down on it. Zack watched his face, partly expecting to see a spark of recognition. There wasn't one. "Well?" he asked.

"It's alright," Cloud replied before reaching into the door of the refrigerator and picking up a jar of applesauce.

Feeling a bit disappointed in Cloud's lack of recognition for one of his favourite foods, Zack moved away from the fridge and started putting together a sandwich for his friend.

Cloud may not have had any flashbacks regarding the bean but he had something of the like while holding the jar of applesauce. It was weird. He didn't see anything. No images in his mind or anything of the sort. He thought suddenly that he could smell pine and campfire smoke. And the sounds. He could hear the crackle of the fire. And Zack's voice. He seemed to be trying to decide on something. _Mashed pear?_

"Zack," he spoke up, still staring at the jar.

"Hn?" Zack hummed in acknowledgment.

"Did you…give me baby food?" Cloud asked, tearing his eyes off the applesauce to look at Zack. He saw the side of his mouth turn up a little and his eyes shift.

"No…" Zack lied. He glanced at Cloud to see a look of mild disgust.

"Gross," he muttered as he set the applesauce back in the fridge door.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with it. Some of it's actually pretty good," Zack claimed.

"You tried it?!" Cloud pushed the door closed. "Couldn't help yourself?"

Zack shrugged. "Well, I'll tell you, it was a hell of a lot more convenient than continuing to mash food myself to try getting you to swallow down. And you should know you actually enjoyed some of it. Particularly the peas for some strange reason." He turned and held out a plate with the sandwich on it he'd just put together.

"Thanks," Cloud spoke softly.

"No problem," Zack said in return.

"Not for the sandwich," Cloud countered. "I mean, yeah for the sandwich but for…just—"

"Yeah," Zack said in understanding. He reached out and messed up the front of Cloud's hair. "Like I said, no problem."

000

"Joey!" Tifa called from the front of the bar as she was putting away some glasses. She sighed in annoyance when she received no reply. "JOEY!" she nearly shouted.

"Whaaat," Joey answered finally, as he walked through the doorway from the back room carrying two cases of beer in his arms. Outside of herself, Joey was the only one working at Seventh Heaven. She'd hired him to help her out with washing dishes and keeping tables clean and glasses filled. He was great in that he put up with her and her crappy pay. She wasn't bringing in a ton of profit so she couldn't afford to give him much. He didn't seem to mind. He was a high school dropout and she'd basically taken him off the street and had even forwarded him some money when he first started working so he could afford some place to stay.

"I need you to watch the place while I head out for a bit," she said in slight urgency.

"Head out?" he repeated her words as he set the beer cases on the floor behind the bar. "We're opening in like an hour and a half," he pointed out.

"I know. I doubt I'll be very long. But if I'm not back at eight then you can start without me. I'm sure you can handle the first customers." She highly doubted there would be more than one person in the bar before 9:30. Besides, it was a Sunday night. Not exactly their busy night. She grabbed her sweater from the back room.

"Well, where you going?" Joey asked as she was headed for the door.

"I have to see someone," she answered vaguely. "I'll see you in a bit."

She unlocked the door and headed out. She hadn't planned on waiting so long to leave. In fact, she'd almost convinced herself she wasn't going to leave at all. But at last minute she made the decision to go. To do what she needed to. She was going to see Cloud.

Two sectors over, Tseng was driving himself down to see Aerith. He rarely drove himself anywhere, except when he was heading down to the slums. The fewer people who knew about his ventures down below the plate the better. It had been weeks since he'd seen Aerith. In fact, the last time was the night he swore he'd almost had Zack Fair in his reach. As much as he'd hated to admit it earlier, he and the others did need Zack and Cloud involved in their plans. Problem was, the boys had no reason to want to help the Turks. Tseng still hadn't come up with an incentive. At the moment he was more focused on tracking the boys down. He would worry about convincing them later.

He had never met Aerith at her house, though he knew well where she lived. She'd insisted on more than one occasion, when he'd suggested they meet at her home or a new location, that they should keep their meetings confined to the church. He knew it was her way of compartmentalizing. He was not worthy of having a place in her everyday life. He couldn't blame her. He wasn't sure he deserved a place in her everyday life.

He parked up the street from the church and walked the short distance. He didn't want his car visible. Just in case. In case for some reason Zack Fair decided to show up.

He didn't bother knocking on the large doors of the church. Aerith had told him before to just walk in. He did so now, entering quietly. He spotted Aerith lighting candles near the back. She threw him a small smile in greeting.

"Haven't seen you in awhile," she commented.

"Work's kept me preoccupied," Tseng replied as he approached her.

"That's good."

"It is?" he asked as he watched the soft light of the candles in front of her flickering against her skin.

"Yeah," she said without looking at him. "It's good that you're keeping busy."

He hesitated before saying what was on his mind. "Even if it means I can't visit as often?" he inquired, watching her carefully to see what sort of answer would be visible in her body language. She appeared neutral at first, then her shoulders sagged slightly. She turned toward him, setting down the one candle in her hand before coming toward him.

"You know that I enjoy seeing you, Tseng," she began. "But…"

There was a but.

"But I just think…I think I need some time to myself, you know?" she revealed to his disappointment. "You've been here for me since…well for a long time. You've been a good friend."

She was going to say since Zack 'died.'

How should he reply? He didn't know what to say to that. Yes, there was a professional reason for his visits, but there was a personal one too. He smiled tightly. He lowered his eyes just slightly, noticing something glimmering against the skin of her chest. A pendant hanging from a thin chain.

"I haven't seen that before," he noted aloud. She looked down at the necklace she had on. It was the one she'd found outside the door of the church a few weeks earlier. She was sure it had been left by Zack, though he was gone by the time she found it. "Is it new?" Tseng questioned.

"Uh, yeah," she confirmed. Tseng nodded.

"From your mother?" he inquired next. His question seemed to be hiding some secret suspicion, or at least that's what it felt like to Aerith.

"Yes," she replied as she looked into his dark eyes. "From my mother." She smiled a little to mask her discomfort.

He certainly did have his suspicions. He suspected the necklace was not from her mother, but from none other than Zack Fair. But of course he had no proof. Only his gut instinct. He had a problem now. One perhaps he knew he would have eventually but had hoped to avoid. She could very well know where Zack was and knowing their history and how much she cared for Zack, it was highly unlikely she would ever divulge his whereabouts. She had said they were friends but clearly she didn't trust him. He didn't really trust her either. What kind of friendship was that supposed to be?

"I see," he said softly then. "Well…if you wish to not see me, I shall respect that."

Aerith looked a bit ashamed then. "Sounds terrible when you say it like that. I-I'm sorry—" she began but Tseng help up a hand and stopped her.

"Please. Don't apologize. It's entirely understandable," he said with a slight bow of his head. "You know where to find me, should you need anything at all," he offered. Aerith smiled once more.

"Thank you, Tseng. Thank you for understanding," she spoke gratefully.

Nodding once more, Tseng forced himself to tear his eyes off her and make his way back to the church entrance. As he was heading away from the church he felt a stir of emotions. He had to admit, in the past he'd been jealous of the relationship between Zack and Aerith. Now he felt something different. He hated Zack, if only a little. He found himself in an unfortunate position. The Turks needed Zack alive, while personally he wished that were not true.

000

Zack couldn't help himself. He glanced over at Cloud for about the billionth time in the past hour. His friend had been asleep since around 4:30. There was no keeping him awake and at the moment he was taking up the majority of the couch. He was sleeping, yes, but that wasn't to say he looked peaceful. Far from it. He was sweating and his face donned a slight frown and every few minutes he swore he could feel the vibration in the couch as a tremor ran through his friend. Zack couldn't help but worry. He felt like he was looking at signs of mako-sickness flaring up again. It made no sense though, as Cloud was back on the medications that suppressed the sickness. He should be improving. Not getting worse. He decided to wake Cloud up and get some words out of him. Get him to share a little bit of what he was feeling.

He patted Cloud's one leg and called his name to him a few times before Cloud stirred. He seemed a little confused when he opened his eyes. He looked over at Zack before beginning to pull himself up.

"You okay, buddy?" Zack questioned.

"Yeah," Cloud breathed, nodding. "Just a dream," he added.

"Oh," Zack replied. "Okay, not really what I was meaning."

Cloud looked back at him in confusion. "What?" he asked.

"You don't look so hot," Zack clarified. "Or maybe too hot," he added. "I dunno, you're sweating an awful lot."

Cloud looked down at himself. "Yeah," he agreed. "I am." His breathing was a little quicker than normal.

"Hey, if you're not feeling well, you can tell me," Zack urged. When Cloud said nothing, he made a suggestion. "Maybe you should call in sick to work tomorrow." Cloud looked at him as if that were the worst thing imaginable.

"No, I'm fine," he replied firmly. Really, Zack should have known it was a dumb suggestion. Cloud actually _liked _working. Or needed to work. Maybe both.

Cloud set his feet on the floor and rested his arms on his knees for a moment before rising.

"Where you going?" Zack questioned.

"Be back in a minute," Cloud replied without looking back at him as he headed for the bathroom.

Nearly fifteen minutes passed and Cloud still hadn't returned. Zack lifted himself off the couch and headed for the bathroom. He was about to knock on the door lightly when he heard a sudden knock at the door to the apartment. He turned to look at the door, his heart beginning to beat faster almost instantly. Who would be knocking on _their_ door? Nervously, he approached it, staring hard at the solid wood, trying to imagine a figure on the other side. Perhaps it was Shell, their landlord. Or maybe the Turks had found them. Would the Turks knock?

His speculations found him standing in front of the door unmoving and unsure of what to do. When another few knocks sounded, he nearly jumped. He made the last steps up to the door and stopped, placing his one hand on the doorknob and the other on the lock.

"Who is it?" he managed to question. There was no reply. He struggled with making a decision on what to do but inevitably unlocked the door and opened it slowly. Standing on the small landing outside the door was Tifa Lockheart. Zack's eyes widened slightly in surprise before narrowing as anger began to set in rapidly.

"Oh, no no _no_!" Zack exclaimed in his quietest voice possible. He attempted to close the door but Tifa pushed her foot forward fast, keeping it from shutting all the way. "Tifa, no, you can't be here," he said firmly.

"I'm not leaving until I see him," the defiant dark-haired girl stated. Zack glanced back nervously over his shoulder. Cloud must have still been in the bathroom.

Exhaling in obvious annoyance, he stepped toward Tifa onto the landing, pushing her back as he closed the door behind him, leaving it open just a crack as he held onto the doorknob tightly. "How the hell did you find this place?" he asked barely above a whisper.

"Uh, I followed you," Tifa answered pointedly. "I'm not letting you keep me from seeing my friend, Zack," she added matter-of-factly.

"I already _told _you, he's not _ready_ to see you," he returned harshly.

"Will you stop whispering?" Tifa replied. "Just let me in. So I don't have to kick your ass to get by you."

"Well…that would be pointless because…Cloud's not here," Zack claimed dumbly. He knew it was a lame answer. Didn't stop him from trying it out. Tifa's expression told him it hadn't gotten him anywhere. The muffled sound of a door opening and some coughing was an indication to Zack that Cloud had come out of the bathroom. Tifa was about to say something but he stopped her. "Just! Stay here," he commanded.

"But—" she struggled to get in her words but he extinguished her attempt.

"Just wait!" he urged. "I'm gonna talk to him. Tell him you're here. Just wait out here, alright?" He eased the door open behind him gently. "Just wait," he mouthed once more, making sure she was actually going to do as he requested before re-entering the apartment and closing the door behind him. Cloud looked at him from where he was standing in the kitchen, leaning over the sink. He seemed a little pale and shaky. Tifa fell from Zack's mind as he looked on his friend.

"What's wrong," he questioned as he approached Cloud fast.

Cloud swallowed before answering. "Nothing," he replied at last.

"Spike, it's not nothing, what is it?" Zack pressed on.

Cloud turned his back to the counter. "I just…" He trailed off as he appeared to be thinking. He seemed to mentally shake away whatever he was thinking before saying "I just kinda feel like crap." Zack studied his expression. Cloud shook his head then. "I need some air," he declared as he went for the door. Suddenly, Zack remembered what was on the other side of that door.

"Cloud, wait!" he blurted out, but it was too late, Cloud had opened the door and found himself face to face with Tifa still standing just outside. Tifa's eyes widened slightly in surprise at seeing him. Her expression softened and she smiled.

"Cloud," she breathed out. Both she and Cloud exchanged roaming gazes over one another. "You're really here," Tifa added in mild awe. She laughed a little. "You're different," she said as she took a step toward him. As she did so, he took a step back. The gesture didn't seem to faze her as she continued toward him. He continued to put space between them as she did so. Zack was watching closely, nervously, trying to read what Cloud was feeling. He watched as Tifa raised a hand, presumably to touch the side of his face. Cloud reacted quickly to that, ducking away from her and backing up fast, hitting the side of the couch before rounding it. He looked at Zack then.

"Who is she, Zack?" he asked, his voice filled with apprehension and a hint of fear. Zack opened his mouth to reply but Tifa beat him to it.

"It's Tifa, Cloud, Tifa Lockheart," she said calmly, though something in her voice indicated she was about to become more insistent. Cloud only shook his head, returning his eyes to Zack.

"Zack," he spoke uneasily.

"Cloud," Tifa said as she attempted again to get closer to him.

"Who are you?" Cloud threw back at her, his tone suddenly tinted in subtle anger.

"You really don't remember me?" she asked, taking another few steps toward him. It visibly made Cloud uncomfortable.

"I don't know you. Stay back!" he ordered abruptly, causing her to stop in her tracks. "I don't know you. I don't know you." He repeated those words several times, his voice beginning to waver with emotion.

The look Zack received from Cloud at that moment told him he wanted to be as far away from Tifa as possible. He wasn't going to deny his friend of that. Tifa had had her chance.

"Alright, Tifa, it's time you leave," he stated boldly as he approached her, taking her arm as gently as he could muster at the moment.

"Wait!" Tifa protested as he tried to lead her to the door. "Cloud, you don't have to be scared—"

"You got what you wanted, Tifa, now it's time to go," Zack urged. He pushed her through the door, following her out and pulling her down the stairs with him to ground level.

"Zack! Stop!" she demanded, though he ignored her. She pulled out of his grasp then when they reached the bottom of the stairs. "What the hell is _wrong _with you?" she asked angrily.

"What the hell is wrong with _you_!" Zack countered. "Did you think I had no reason for not wanting you to see Cloud right now?"

"I'm sorry, alright? But I had to see him, I'm sorry you can't understand that."

Zack gave her a harsh look.

"You think I don't understand?" he blurted in disbelief. "Believe me, Tifa, I understand. I know what it's like to want to see someone when you can't! To wait years just to see that person! Only to realize—"

Zack stopped himself before he could say anymore. Tifa stared back at him in slight shock. She knew that somehow the topic had shifted away from her and Cloud. Zack shook his head in frustration before heading for the stairs.

"I'm not just gonna give up on him!" Tifa called from behind him. He paused. "That's not what you do when you care about someone," Tifa added.

Zack exhaled slowly. He glanced over his shoulder just slightly befre speaking. "Go home, Tifa," he commanded softly. With that said, he headed back into the apartment.


	11. Chapter 10

_hey everyone, thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter and thank you for all the recent faves. you guys rock! first, there's not songs for this chapter. i wrote it mainly during times when i wasn't listening to anything and i figured to try to find songs now would just end up making you wait longer for the chapter. sooooo i figured you'd rather have something to read than listen to. also, IMEEM has sold out to Myspace or something like that so until i figure out what's going on there the songs will probably just be posted to the youtube playlist. it really sucks IMEEM was pretty awesome. anyway, this chapter was going to be longer but i was getting tired and i only really had today to work on it so i figured i should just get it submitted. on the bright side, about half of the next chapter is written so hopefully it won't be very long before it's out. thanks as always for your patience and for taking the time to read and review!_

_cheers_

Chapter 10

When Zack re-entered the apartment, he looked immediately at Cloud. His friend was sitting on the couch. He didn't look up as Zack approached.

"She's gone," Zack announced as he sat himself down slowly next to Cloud.

"Who is she?" Cloud asked, his eyes still downcast. Zack hesitated on how he should answer.

"Uhh...you come from the same hometown," he finally replied.

That was true.

"Gongaga," Cloud stated a little uneasily, a hint of questioning in his tone.

"Mmhmm," Zack agreed.

That wasn't so true.

"We were...friends?" Cloud asked next.

"I...guess you could say that," Zack answered. He scratched the back of his head. Sure they were friends. He knew that. She was probably the only friend Cloud had from Nibelheim but for some reason he didn't want to divulge such info to Cloud. At the forefront of his mind was the worry that if Cloud recognized that he and Tifa once had a relationship then he'd attempt to reinstate that relationship. If that happened, he'd realize pretty quickly that Zack had lied to him about his hometown.

Zack looked at Cloud, examining his expression. Cloud grimaced before leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Do you remember her at all?" Zack took a chance in questioning.

"No," Cloud answered, definitely at first. Then he shook his head, "I dunno," he said in slight exasperation, putting his face in his hands and covering it. "I'm confused." His words were muffled by his hands.

"Sorry, Spike," Zack spoke softly. He placed a hand on Cloud's back and rubbed it gently. Cloud lowered his hands slowly.

"We lived here four years ago, right?" he asked, though it was somewhat rhetorical. Zack nodded slightly. "And no one knows what really happened to us?" Cloud continued. Zack shook his head. "We had friends, right?"

"Sure," Zack confirmed.

"Should we be keeping it a secret that we're here again?" Cloud inquired hesitantly. Zack thought about it. He thought about what it would be like if he were the person who had lost a friend. Or thought he lost one. Sure he'd want to know if they were actually alive and within reach. But their situation wasn't that simple.

"Our friends were affiliated with Shinra, Cloud. Most probably still are," Zack pointed out.

Cloud looked at him. "So they can't be trusted?"

"I dunno," Zack answered uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck. "Probably not. Shinra keeps a pretty close eye on its employees.

"So that girl that was just here," Cloud said then.

"Oh, no. I don't think she works for Shinra. I'd be surprised if she did," he claimed confidently. Shinra had covered up what had happened in her hometown. She was about as likely to join forces with them as he and Cloud were at this point. He studied Cloud's expression. A question popped into his mind then. "You want to talk to her?" he asked at last.

"No," Cloud said fairly quickly, shaking his head. "I don't. I don't think I really want to see or talk to anyone from before. Not right now."

Zack felt incredibly relieved. Truth was, he didn't really want to see or talk to anyone from before either. He just wanted to work and save up a big enough wad of money to get a vehicle and be able to take off with Cloud to the other side of the planet and disappear. Another month of he and Cloud both working would do it. Though he wasn't expecting Cloud to want to go back to work now. Which is why he was a little shocked when Cloud mentioned that he was going to get ready for bed so that he could get up in the morning for work.

Cloud seemed to have taken Tifa's surprise visit rather well. Not so much when she was actually in the apartment but the moment she was gone he was alright. Or at least, he could fake it well enough. He still wasn't looking the greatest. After a moment Zack got up and went into the bedroom where Cloud had gone ahead of him a minute before. His friend was pulling off his shirt so he could put on a fresh one. He still wasn't comfortable enough to sleep without one, which meant he typically overheated and woke up fairly damp, especially when he wasn't feeling particularly well. Like now.

"I think you should go back to two doses of meds a day," Zack declared form the doorway.

"Why?" Cloud asked without looking back at him.

"I think it may help," Zack claimed.

"Help? You think I'm getting sick again."

"Maybe. I'd rather not take the chance. Maybe working is having an effect on your system. You're more likely to get sick if you've been over-exerting yourself," Zack suggested. Cloud looked at him sceptically. "Just do it, will you? Have some now and before you go to work in the morning. See if it ends up making you feel a little less like crap."

Cloud glanced over at where the medications were sitting on the dresser. "There's not that much left, Zack," he said. There had been about a week's worth but if he was giving himself double doses it would barely last over three days.

"Don't worry about it," Zack replied simply. Cloud exhaled strongly, shaking his head.

"Which clinic now?" he asked but Zack said nothing. "Don't you care that other people may actually need those medications?" Cloud added then.

"Not really," Zack said with a slight shrug.

"Zack—" Cloud began but Zack stopped him.

"Not gonna argue about this with you, buddy," he stated firmly.

Cloud shook his head again in defeat, turning toward the dresser. "Fine. Whatever," he muttered as he began prepping for the first injection.

"Thanks," Zack said before turning to leave. It was still a little early for him to consider trying to get to sleep. He paused when Cloud called back to him.

"Have you considered that maybe the drugs just aren't working anymore?" was Cloud's inquiry.

Zack felt himself get a little cold as he considered Cloud's words. No. He hadn't thought about it. It was unthinkable. There was only one known way to treat mako poisoning. If it didn't work then there was no other option. He looked back at Cloud and gave him a smile.

"See ya in the morning, Spike," he said before leaving the room.

000

The next day, during his lunch break, Zack was out driving around in the van Shell hadn't been willing to let him borrow for the first few weeks of work for deliveries and pick-ups. He was looking around for the best place to ransack for medical supplies. All would be equally a pain in the ass to get into. He wasn't going to rip off the same clinic he'd gone to the first time. As he was driving around Sector 6 he noticed a small advert on the side of a building for _Seventh Heaven_, Tifa's bar. On his way back over to work, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty for how he'd treated Tifa the night before. He'd been a little rougher with her than he wanted to admit. Not that she couldn't handle it. But that wasn't the point. Later, when he'd finished in the shop, he decided to go over to make amends. Or at least something of the sort.

The bar wasn't technically open yet when Zack arrived. But the front door was open so he went in. Tifa wasn't behind the bar, or anywhere in the main area. She must have been in the back. He could hear some shuffling on the other side of a set of swing doors with the words 'Employees Only' written on them. A few moments later, Tifa came through the doors. She halted momentarily when she laid eyes on Zack. She moved toward him then, stopping in front of him from behind the bar. She crossed her arms.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in an impatient tone.

"You know, you probably shouldn't leave your front door open like that," Zack said as he motioned behind him. "Don't know what kind of creeps are going to walk in."

"Well, so far you're the only one," she countered. Zack nodded as he grew a little more serious.

"Okay, I probably deserve that," he agreed.

"Probably?" Tifa repeated.

"Alright, definitely then. I have my reasons though," he said in return. Tifa didn't outwardly agree but there was something in her expression that said she understood, if only a little.

"So, what do you want?" Tifa inquired then. Zack sat himself down slowly on the stool next to him in front of the bar.

"I wanted to talk to you. Apologize, I guess," he explained.

"Apologize? Really?" she replied with clear doubt in her tone.

"Yeah. When it comes to Cloud, I dunno, I guess I just act before really thinking."

"You're actually sorry for throwing me out last night?" Tifa asked.

Zack thought about it. "Well...not really," he admitted. Tifa scoffed, turning as though she were going to head back into the employee area. "I'm sorry that I had to do that and that maybe I wasn't nicer about it," Zack called after her. Tifa turned back to face him. After a second, she came forward.

"You don't need to apologize, Zack," she said in a bit of a softer tone. "I get it. Cloud isn't ready to see me. I just wish you could have given me the chance to figure that out instead of me having to force it."

"I would have let you see him eventually, you know," Zack claimed.

"You sure about that?" Tifa countered. Zack lowered his gaze slightly. No, he wasn't sure. Actually, he was more sure he wouldn't have let her see him ever.

"So....you're okay with this then. Not seeing him," Zack questioned.

"No," Tifa said quickly. "I'm not. I still want to. I want to spend time with him. I want him to have the chance to get to know me again. I want to be his friend again." Zack just stared back at her. After a moment she asked quietly "Why doesn't he remember anything?"

As their eyes were locked, Zack felt like she was looking into his mind. Or trying to. Like she was going to be able to see all that had happened without him saying a word. After a long few moments of silence, he laughed dryly and stood up.

"He just doesn't," he said at last as he headed for the door. "See ya, Tifa," he called without looking back.

On the way back home, Zack had a sudden thought. He may be able to get the medications Cloud needed without setting foot in another clinic or pharmacy. A dealer. He needed to find a dealer. He wouldn't have to go very far to find one but he wasn't looking for the average dealer. It would take some asking around to get in touch with the right one.

The right one turned out to be a guy in Sector 5. He looked relatively well-off, as far as slum-life went. Apparently the guy made a fairly comfortable living dealing. He could have moved up to the plate if he wanted but he chose to stay in the slums. "Better business" he had said. "All the people from the plate come down here to buy," he added.

He told Zack he'd be able to get him what he was looking for within a couple of days. It would be more expensive than stealing the medicines himself but at least this way he'd basically eliminated the chance of getting caught.

Already being in the sector, he couldn't really help himself from thinking about Aerith's church. It was only a few blocks from the dealer's place. Should he go over? Really there wasn't much point, he told himself. He wasn't going to go in. And if Tseng was there he was just going to put himself in jeopardy by being there. He ultimately decided against it, shaking off what he'd come to think of as a weakness. The feelings he still had for Aerith. They didn't matter anymore. He headed back to the apartment instead.

Cloud was home and in the shower when Zack had finally gotten back. Zack made himself something to eat and sat in front of the TV. A minute later, he heard the shower being shut off. Cloud emerged a few minutes after that, dressed with a towel around his neck.

"Where were you?" he asked when he noticed Zack on the couch.

"Around. Finishing up some stuff for work," Zack lied. "When'd you get in?"

"Like half an hour ago," Cloud said as he was using the one end of the towel to rub at his wet hair. "I didn't see any lights on in the shop," he added then.

Zack glanced at him. "Oh, yeah, I was in the back," he said. He wasn't sure Cloud actually believed him but his friend didn't question it further. "How you feeling?" he called to Cloud as he was headed for the bedroom.

"Fine, I guess," Cloud called back before returning to the living room.

"Come 'ere," Zack said as he grabbed onto one of Cloud's forearms when he was within reach. He pulled him forward and Cloud placed his other hand on the arm of the couch to keep from toppling forward. Zack's own hand was on his forehead then. "You feel warm," Zack noted. Cloud pulled back from him.

"I was in the shower," he pointed out sharply.

"Well, you at least look a little better."

"So where were you really?" Cloud asked then as he sat himself on the arm of the couch.

Zack didn't look at him. He tried to look like he wasn't outright lying. Clearly it wasn't working. "I already told you." After a moment Cloud stood up and began to walk away. "I wasn't robbing a pharmacy or anything if that's what you're thinking," Zack spoke up.

"Oh, no," Cloud uttered softly and Zack looked back at him with a questioning gaze. "You did something worse."

Zack scoffed. "No. For your information it was not worse and I kinda wish I'd thought of it before. Not that it would have made much of a difference. Didn't have money then." He turned back to face the TV and in a brief moment Cloud was back in his view.

"What'd you do?" he asked.

"Spike, you mind," Zack said as he waved at Cloud to move away from the television.

Cloud exhaled in a huff. "Whatever it was," he said as he shook his head. "You shouldn't have bothered."

"Sure, kid," Zack said with a smile as he waved him away again. Cloud gave up and walked away.

He was a little pissed at Zack. He'd been relatively honest with him about things lately. He'd done what was asked of him, hadn't held back from telling Zack most of what he was feeling. And yet, Zack refused to be truthful with him. On Thursday night, Zack returned home late again, but this time with a bag of medication. Even then, Zack still wouldn't tell him where he'd acquired the medications. Cloud wasn't dumb. He could put two and two together. He suggested once again that he didn't think the medications were doing anything, or at least were doing half the job they were doing once. But it didn't seem to matter to Zack. He refused to listen.

Cloud had wanted to refuse the medications at that point but he didn't. There was no point. They were there so he might was well take them. He left for work on Friday in less than a good mood. Not long after he'd started his day he discovered that a bunch of steel stud framework he was supposed to install had all been cut too short. He approached the foreman to let him know.

"Son of a bitch," Calding, the foreman, had remarked as he looked at the studs lying on the floor. "Come with me," he ordered. Cloud followed him down to ground level where they approached one of the workers using one of the circular saws. Calding didn't even bother to try and yell over the saw, he just unplugged it from the power bar it was attached to. The worker turned. Cloud was a little surprised to see it was a girl. "Addley, what the hell is this?" Calding questioned as he held one of the metal studs to her. The girl looked down at it before meeting the foreman's eyes.

"Is this a trick question, sir?" she asked.

"No, it's not a damn trick question. You cut the studs for level three east right?" Calding inquired harshly.

"Yeah."

"Do you know how to read goddamn measurements, Addley? These are cut too short," the foreman pointed out.

"I followed the measurements on the—" The girl began to defend herself but the foreman cut her off.

"Save it, Addley, get your act together or you're outta here," he warned. He looked at Cloud then. "Come on, kid, I'll find something else for you to do," he said. Cloud exchanged a look with the girl before heading off. She glared at him angrily. He couldn't help but feel a little bad as he walked away. He hadn't meant to get anyone in trouble like that. He set aside his thoughts though in order to get back to work.

At the end of the shift, as Cloud was packing up the tools he'd been using, one of the guys he'd been working with called over to him.

"Hey!" the man named Greyson shouted. Cloud looked his way. The man was coming toward him. "You comin' out to _Dolby's_?"

"What's that?" Cloud asked. Greyson looked back at him with an arched eyebrow.

"What? You've never been? Well, come on!" Greyson urged. "About ten of us are headed out. Gonna burn up some of the paycheck."

"Uh," Cloud hesitated. "I uh, probably shouldn't."

"Pfft, none of us should. But we're goin' anyway. Come on."

"Um, alright," Cloud agreed finally. What would the harm be if he went out for an hour or so? None, presumably. If an hour or so hadn't turned into several.

_Dolby's _was of course a bar. At first, Cloud had felt pretty out of place but he loosened up a little after a few drinks. He hadn't exactly planned on drinking but it was offered to him and he didn't think it right to refuse. He was enjoying the feeling of being around other people, strangely enough. The idea that they were all strangers and had no idea who he was and therefore weren't a threat put him at ease. About an hour and a half after first arriving, Addley had showed up. The girl he'd gotten in trouble at work. She had looked over at him when she first entered the bar and he assumed she was going to have some choice words for him but she never approached him. She sat down at a nearby table to talk to some of the guys from work. He stopped paying attention to what she was doing after that. As he realized later, she hadn't forgot about him. It was a little later when he was ordering drinks at the bar that she approached him.

"So, you gonna buy me a drink to make up for getting me in shit today?" a voice questioned and he turned to see it was her. He looked over her briefly. She looked different when she wasn't in her work clothes. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a black tank top. Her hair was down and longer than he would have imagined when it was tied up tight and hidden by her hardhat.

"What are you drinking?" Cloud replied a little awkwardly. She held up an empty beer bottle she had in her hand. When the bartender came around he ordered her another. There was a bit of an awkward silence then as they were waiting. "I'm sorry for getting you in trouble earlier," Cloud finally said. He had to say it, it would be bothering him if he didn't. "I didn't know Calding would be so pissed."

"Uh huh," was all she answered with. The bartender handed over the round of beers Cloud had ordered then and he slid the one over to her. "Thanks," she said before taking a sip. She held out her hand then. "I'm Addley," she said. He took her hand a little hesitantly. He didn't bother to give his name back though. He nodded and smiled tightly before taking hold of the other few beers he'd ordered for the guys at the table. He started to make his way back to the table, not really knowing what else he should do. Addley was back at her table soon enough. She paid him no attention though as she went back to talking to a few of the guys. It wasn't until some of the guys started to leave that Addley spoke to him again. She'd returned from the bathroom and sat next to him. He tried not to look at her.

"It wasn't my fault, ya know," she said out of nowhere. He looked at her with a questioning gaze. "The studs. I was following the plans given to me. It was that guy Simon who fucked up the measurements. I don't make stupid mistakes like that," she clarified.

He looked away once again, rolling his eyes slightly. "I already apologized, what more do you want?" he asked a little bitterly.

"I don't want your apology. Just thought you should know," she stated.

"Oh," he replied with a nod. "So you don't want me to beg for your forgiveness?"

"No," she said with a mild chuckle. "You're a little too cute to need to beg."

He glanced at her briefly to see if she was being serious. She smiled as he did so and he couldn't help but smile a little dopily in return.

"You never did say what your name is," she pointed out then. Cloud looked at the half-drained beer bottle in front of him, his finger tips working on peeling off the label. The tips of his fingers were the only parts of his hands uncovered. Only at home did he not wear some sort of glove. He was too self-conscious about the scaring he had. He cleared his throat a little.

"Uh...Zack," he answered at last, immediately wincing at his choice. It was the only name in his head. Probably because he'd been thinking about how angry Zack would be at him when he got back home.

"Zack?" Addley echoed and he nodded. "Where you from, Zack?" she asked then.

"Around," he answered evasively. It didn't seem to bother her. She chuckled.

"Oh," she said. That one word began a ramble of things, none of which Cloud really comprehended. He nodded every now and then, smiled when she smiled, laughed a little when she did. At that point, all he could pay attention to were the things like her greyish blue eyes, her lips as she spoke, the gestures she made with her hands—she wore exactly five rings—the way her hair moved a little with her head and the flow of air conditioning—it was blond except for a few coloured streaks at the one side. One blue. One darker, probably black.

She didn't seem bothered by the fact that he said next to nothing and that his only real response to what she was saying was his shifting gaze as he looked back and forth from her to the bottle he held onto. It had been replaced several times and he had managed to destroy the labels on all of them.

At some point, the last of the guys from work called out to them from the front of the bar before leaving. Cloud gave a short wave and watched as they left. It entered into his mind how late it must have been, albeit it was a fuzzy thought. He knew most certainly that he'd been a bit drunk for awhile.

"Guess it's just us," Addley said then.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"We should probably go," she suggested.

"Yeah." He was good with 'yeahs.'

Cloud hadn't thought much about what being drunk meant until he'd actually had to walk. He wasn't _that _drunk so he wasn't a stumbling mess, but he wasn't one hundred percent co-ordinated either. Addley laughed at him as they stepped outside.

"What?" he asked.

"You're drunk," she said through a giggle. "You didn't have _that_ that much to drink," she pointed out.

"More than usual," he mumbled. He was pretty positive he hadn't consumed any alcohol in several years and he somewhat doubted he'd been a big drink before that considering he was likely underage at the time. He still hadn't confirmed his real age. Something he kept meaning to ask Zack...

"So," Addley said then. "You gonna offer to walk me home?" she asked.

He pretended to be thinking. She looked at him in slight mock offence and he laughed lightly. "Sure," he agreed and she began leading him away from the bar.

As it turned out, she didn't live very far away. Cloud was a little confused when she'd led him into the parking lot of a motel.

"Uh, you live here?" he questioned and she nodded. "Why?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I like that it's not permanent. And I'm not accountable to anyone. I can leave whenever I feel like it," she explained.

"Isn't it kind of...expensive?" he asked as he was walking with her to one of the doors.

"I get a discount," she said as she unlocked the door to her room. She turned back to face him then. There was a bit of silence before she said "You really are cute, ya know."

And then she kissed him, just like that. At first, Cloud wasn't really sure what to do. He leaned forward a little, but beyond that he was at a loss. He didn't know what he was supposed to be doing. He felt like he should do something with his hands but they remained at his sides. After a moment, her lips pulled away from his and she was looking up at him with a bit of concern in her features.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Oh, you just, don't..." she began to say something with a bit of disappointment. She reached for the door knob behind her. The door opened as she turned it.

"No," he said quickly. "I mean, I do, I—" he tried to explain awkwardly. She didn't give him the chance. She kissed him again and this time he actually reciprocated, letting himself relax and just go by instinct. He wasn't sure what he was doing was how he should be doing it but none of it seemed to bother Addley. He had hesitated on actually touching her. He was aware of her hands on his back, and he decided to go ahead and do the same. He placed his hands on her lower back and slid one upwards toward her head where he felt her hair in between his fingers. After a moment she took hold of the collar of his coat and pulled him forward. Her back hit the door behind her, pushing it open wide.

He shuffled forward as she pulled him farther into the room. It was dark and his eyes were closed anyway so it surprised him a little when he found himself falling forward slightly as something stopped his legs. His hands landed on the mattress of the bed in the room, on either side of Addley. She pulled him closer to her and their kiss deepened. Cloud felt his heart rate increase in uncertainty and apprehension. He didn't know how far he should let this go. Part of him wanted to let it go all the way while the rest of him wanted to back away and leave.

Addley's hands moved from where they had been holding onto his coat and ran slowly down his chest, where they stopped. She pulled back from his lips slightly and looked at where her right hand was. Cloud realized her hand was directly over one of the metal ports just under his left collarbone. He assumed with dread that she could feel it and that she was going to ask about it. But that's not what she asked about.

"Are you...bleeding?" she questioned a little uneasily. Cloud looked down fast as Addley pulled her hand away. He could just barely make out a dark spot forming in the material of his shirt. His stomach sank.

"Um...I should go," was all he could think of to say as he pushed off the mattress and stood straight. Addley rose herself on her elbows.

"Go?" she questioned as though the word were a foreign one.

"Yeah," he said as he headed for the door.

"But—Zack," she spoke quickly, sitting up on the mattress.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "Sorry."

He left through the door that had never been shut when they'd entered the room minutes earlier. He moved himself hurriedly away from the motel, stopping only once to check the port in his chest. It _was _bleeding. And it wasn't the only one. And the bleeding wasn't exactly light. Not in the way it had been previously. Zipping his coat up, he headed towards the train station. He needed to get home.

There was only one train that ran during the night. Something he hadn't really thought of. He found himself waiting about forty minutes before he was picked up and able to get back down to the slums. He knew it was late when he made it back to the apartment. He just wasn't sure how late. He opened the apartment door slowly and quietly, realizing right away it was a pointless effort because Zack was awake and sitting in the living room area, and he looked anything but happy to see him. He had his arms folded over his chest and didn't even look Cloud's way until he had shut the door and stood for a moment just inside the apartment. Then he finally spoke.

"Do I even wanna know?" he questioned in a sharp tone.

"Zack, I, uh—" he began to apologize but Zack jumped in, cutting him off.

"Do you have any idea at all what time it is?" Zack asked, looking Cloud's way.

"Um. Not really," Cloud answered honestly. It could have been four in the morning for all he knew.

"Where were you?" Zack asked next.

Cloud decided to stick with the truth. Well. Most of it. "At a bar. With some of the guys from work." He watched Zack's one eyebrow rise though his expression remained unchanged as he turned back to facing the television ahead of him.

"I-I'm sorry, Zack," Cloud spoke softly. Zack just shook his head.

"No you're not, Cloud," his friend argued.

"Zack—"

"No, don't bother, Cloud. You don't owe me an explanation. I'm not your father. I can't tell you what to do. Or what not to do," Zack said in an exasperated tone. He shook his head again before rising to his feet. "You have fun?" he questioned somewhat to Cloud's surprise.

"Yes," Cloud said in a low voice, almost afraid to admit it.

"Great," Zack spoke with little or no emotion in his voice as he turned and headed for the bedroom.

Cloud felt immediately crushed with guilt. Somehow he felt worse about having Zack seem so indifferent to his actions than if Zack had yelled at him when he walked in. He thought for a moment about just letting Zack be and not saying anything about his current physical problem, but whatever was happening to him, it wasn't good. And he needed Zack right now.

"Zack," he spoke a little hesitantly. Zack halted in the doorway to the bedroom, turning back to face him from across the room. "There's...something I..." he struggled with his explanation. "I think there's...something wrong," he admitted then as he pulled his hands from his coat pockets. Zack watched as Cloud unzipped his coat slowly.

Cloud was able to imagine Zack's reaction ahead of time because he had a pretty good idea while he was heading home what he would look like when he arrived. He expected the few shirts he was wearing would be pretty bloody when he finally took off his coat. And indeed they were. Large circles that met in a few places, making it look that much worse. There was more soiled fabric than clean.

Expression and emotion returned to Zack then as he walked back toward his friend. "Spike," he uttered in dreaded awe.

Cloud spoke some eerie words then, a little panic seeping into his tone.

"It won't stop."


	12. Chapter 11

Hey guys! Sorry (as always) for the long wait on the chapter. This is a longer chapter though so hopefully that makes up for it a little. Songs for the chapter 'When You're Broken Down' by Exile Kings, 'Nothing Else Matters' by Metallica, 'Company of Stillness' by Last Year Portrait, 'Contact' by Falling Up, 'Celler Door' by Escape the Fate, 'Salvadore' by Your Vegas, 'Satellites' by We Know, Plato!, and 'Broken' by UNKLE. They are in no particular order really. I just felt they fit the mood of the chapter. All are on the youtube playlist except the songs by Exile Kings, Last Year Portrait, and Falling Up. I believe the song by Exile Kings is on their myspace page but the only place I was able to find the song by Last Year Portrait is on www . thesixtyone . com (which is a great site by the way). You can check out Last Year Portrait on myspace as well but 'Company of Stillness' isn't one of their featured songs. They're a great band though so you should check them out if you're interested. I absolutely have no idea where you can listen to 'Contact' by Falling Up but it's a good song if you can get a hold of it. I believe that's all I have to say about music. Apparently the IMEEM playlist is supposed to be available sometime, whenever Myspace gets around to it. Hopefully soon. Anyway, happy Friday everyone!

**PS! Seelenspiel **was kind enough to create a fan video for Reduced to Specimens/Reclamation and you must check it out!** http:// www . youtube . com / watch?v=VRN8VHNWwu0 **

Thanks again, Seelenspiel!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII.

Chapter XI

"It won't stop."

Zack barely heard Cloud's words as he stared at the large red splotches on his friend's shirt. It would have been easy to freak out but he remained relatively calm "Come into the bathroom," he ordered. He led Cloud there with a hand on his back. Once there he had Cloud sit on the edge of the tub and helped peel his wet shirts from his body.

Zack used a wet cloth to wipe away some of the blood on his left arm to get a better look at the ports. They continued to seep as he looked on them. His eyes rose to meet Cloud's after a moment.

"You didn't forget your meds today, did you?" he questioned firmly. Cloud shook his head but Zack's expression stayed hard.

"Zack, I _swear_," Cloud claimed. He wasn't lying.

Zack's expression softened slightly. "Well...I assume you were drinking tonight," he said then and Cloud lowered his eyes. "Could have something to do with it. We'll have to wait it out for awhile to see if the bleeding lets up."

Cloud nodded in understanding.

"We'll get you cleaned up and then try out some bandaging. See if that helps," Zack suggested. Cloud nodded. He was thankful that Zack seemed so calm. It made him feel a little less like he should be worried.

Zack _was _worried though. He was hoping this problem was going to solve itself and if it didn't he had no idea what he was going to do. For the time being, at least, Cloud seemed relatively okay, with the exception of the bleeding.

The bandaging idea was partially a bust. It didn't stop the bleeding, just kept it from getting all over Cloud's body and the bathroom. They were soaked through quickly, however. Cloud's condition worsened over the morning hours. He gained a fever, chills, and short bouts of stiffness in his limbs that limited his mobility. Zack hadn't hesitated on giving him a double dose of medication. He suspected that to be the only thing holding back the mako sickness from taking over completely. His bleeding had only let up just slightly over the hours since he had returned home. It was making Zack wonder just how much blood he was going to be able to stand losing. It wasn't coming out in large amounts but it was a near continuous seep.

Cloud had kept himself confined to the bathroom by choice. He didn't want to make a mess of the apartment, despite the fact Zack said he didn't care. For the most part, Zack had sat with him in the small space, keeping him company. Neither of them slept, and it was fine by Zack. He wouldn't have been able to sleep if he tried. And he was just as alert at 8 am as he had been when Cloud had walked through the door earlier. Cloud on the other hand looked fairly exhausted. He was slumped against the tub, awkwardly holding onto a towel, trying to keep himself warm with it without having it touch him too closely.

After hours spent on the floor with his back against the hard tub, Zack knew his friend couldn't have been comfortable, but he hadn't complained at all. Zack had the luxury of being able to move around freely and he had taken advantage of that several times. With his legs going to sleep on him once again, he decided to get up again for a few minutes.

"Want me to get you anything, Spike?" he asked as he was pulling himself to a stand.

"Um...some water?" Cloud responded softly.

"Sure, buddy," Zack said with a comforting smile. His smile faded when he'd left the room. He stood for a moment in the kitchen with his hands on his head, his fingers interlaced. He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly as he forced himself to think. He didn't know what to do. Sighing to himself, he opened the fridge and retrieved a bottle of water. As he was closing the door of the fridge he heard Cloud coughing from the bathroom. It didn't sound good. He returned to the bathroom to see Cloud turned toward the tub, leaning into it as he continued coughing. He seemed to be having a difficult time stopping. As Zack neared him he could see a speckling of

blood on the bottom of the tub.

"Hey," he spoke as he set down the bottle in his hand on the counter next to him and crouched down. He placed a hand on Cloud's back. As Cloud's coughing continued for another few moments, Zack could feel something wet touching his fingertips. The force of Cloud heaving had pushed more blood from the ports in his back, saturating the bandages covering them and beginning to run over his skin.

As Cloud settled again, he spit some bloody saliva into the tub before bringing a hand to his mouth to wipe some of it from his lips. He turned his head slightly to look at Zack. Before Zack could say anything, he spoke.

"I'm really in trouble...aren't I?" he muttered. Zack stared back at him.

Yes, he was in trouble. But Zack wasn't about to admit it out loud. He reached up for the bottle of water on the counter and twisted the cap off before holding it out for Cloud to take. Cloud took it slowly. He held it in one trembling hand and looked at Zack almost expectantly.

Zack rubbed his back gently and said "You're gonna be fine."

Cloud nodded finally and took a sip of water. As Zack watched him, he began to realize what needed to be done. But he was going to need some help, as much as he hated to admit it.

"How're the legs feeling, buddy?" he asked after a moment of thought. Cloud looked at him, glancing down at his lower extremities briefly.

"I can feel them, if that's what you mean..." he replied at last.

"You think you'd be up for a walk?" Zack inquired.

Cloud studied Zack's expression with slight confusion.

"Where?" he questioned a little uneasily.

000

Their walk was far from comfortable and leisurely. Cloud managed to pull himself together and make himself move like there was nothing wrong but Zack could tell he was in pain. He wished more than ever that they had access to a vehicle. Something that was going to have to change sometime soon. He hadn't told Cloud where they were going. Only that his friend needed to trust him. Cloud wasn't stupid though. Even though he'd never been where Zack was leading him, he somehow just knew. Zack knew he knew. And when Cloud had figured it out, he stopped. It took Zack a moment to realize as he had been walking ahead of him. He turned back and Cloud was standing in alley they were headed through, his hands in his pockets, looking Zack's way.

"Spike, you alright?" Zack asked as he made his way back toward him, worried that he was about to lose mobility again.

"Where are we going, Zack?" Cloud asked firmly. Zack hesitated on answering. He didn`t want to lie to Cloud. He _couldn't_. Cloud would know when they arrived at their destination. "We're going to see that girl, aren't we? That girl who came to the apartment."

"Spike—" Zack began but Cloud cut him off.

"No, just answer me," he demanded. "Why can't you ever just be straight with me? I'm not okay. I'm probably dying. We're taking a trip to see some girl I should remember but don't. Just tell me! Stop trying to hide things from me that you know I'll find out anyway, Zack."

Zack looked back at him somewhat shamefully before moving closer.

"You're right, I know, I'm sorry," he apologized softly. "It's just...reflex. To protect you," he explained. "No, you're not okay. But you're not dying. You're going to be fine. I'm gonna figure it out," he spoke seriously. "And yes, we're going to see Tifa. I need her to look after you for awhile."

"What? Look after me?" Cloud responded quickly.

Zack nodded. "There's some things I need to do—"

"You're going to leave me with her?" Cloud asked in clear surprise. Zack laughed a little at his expression.

"I'll be coming back, Spike," he assured him.

"Why can't I just go with you?" Cloud countered.

"No offence, kid, but you ain't exactly in traveling condition."

Cloud was about to protest again but he paused, to redirect his argument. "You said we couldn't trust people around here," he pointed out.

Zack exhaled slowly. "I know," he agreed. "But this is different. And...there isn't much of a choice..."

Cloud looked less than satisfied with that response.

"Look," Zack continued. "I don't like this. It's killing me. I hate that you're sick, and I hate the thought of leaving you with someone else while I go figure out something to get you better again. But I can't just leave you alone either. If something happened..."

Cloud nodded slowly in acceptance.

"You still trust _me_, right?" Zack asked.

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed.

"Good." Zack brightened a little then as they continued heading toward Tifa's bar. "Look on the bright side," Zack added then "at least she's easy on the eyes," he joked.

The bar was closed when they arrived, that much had been expected. Tifa had never mentioned anything about having a home somewhere else and there was just something about the girl that gave Zack the ease of mind that she lived and worked in the same place. That hunch seemed right on when Tifa finally answered his continuous knocking at the front door. She unlocked and pushed the door open fast, making Zack take a step back. She was dressed in a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt and looked as though she'd just been woken up.

"What the hell do you want now..." she began to question harshly but her tone softened as Zack stepped out of the way slightly, revealing the person standing behind him. Cloud.

"You wanted some more time with him," Zack spoke then. "Well, here's your chance," he added. "Mind if we come in?" It wasn't really a question as he didn't give Tifa much choice in the matter. He held the door open and motioned to Cloud to go inside.

Tifa stepped back, her eyes never leaving Cloud. He seemed to be trying to avoid making eye contact with her, though for a few brief seconds he did actually look at her. He seemed a little paler than was the norm for him. Suddenly Tifa seemed to have lost the ability to speak. All she could do was stare.

Finally, she managed to make words. "That's why you're here?" she questioned as she watched Zack pull out a chair from one of the nearby tables. He placed a hand on Cloud's one shoulder and urged him gently toward it.

"Not really," Zack replied bluntly. "I need a favour," he revealed. Tifa released a part laugh-part scoff.

"A favour?" she questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I need you to keep an eye on Cloud while I do some things," Zack announced to Tifa.

Tifa looked at Zack hard. "Do what things?" she asked. "And keep an eye on him? I don't understand."

"Come here a second," Zack said then as he pulled her aside. Cloud watched as they moved away to talk. He rolled his eyes, feeling like he was being treated like a child. He turned toward the table next to him and rested his arms on it.

"I need to know we can trust you," Zack uttered to Tifa quietly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tifa countered.

Zack had to make a conscious effort to not lose his cool. "Look just—please, tell me we can trust you."

Tifa exhaled slowly, her shoulders sagging a little. She nodded in agreement. "I'll say it once. You can trust me," she stated firmly. Zack looked at her. Trying to look into her. He wanted to trust her. Really, there wasn't much of a choice.

"Okay," he said at last. "I need you to just listen and don't ask questions. Got it?" Tifa nodded again. "Cloud is sick—"

"With what?" Tifa interrupted. Zack gave her an impatient glare. "Oh, come on, you have to at least tell me _that_," she said.

Zack didn't bother to waste time in arguing. "Mako poisoning, and _don't_," he began, pausing and holding a hand up when she had opened her mouth to say something again, "question it. I don't have time to go into it—"

"Buh-but, there's drugs for that, to keep the illness under control until the mako is burned off," Tifa said quickly.

"We've done the drugs, Tifa. They worked for awhile, but they aren't anymore. I don't know why. I don't really care. We need an alternative. There's gotta be something else."

"Sure," Tifa said uneasily. "Yeah." Her reaction was one shadowed with doubt. It was understandable. Zack was doubtful himself, but he couldn't give in to the doubt.

"Anyway, there's another problem. Maybe it's related. Maybe not, I dunno," Zack went on.

"What is it?" Tifa asked.

"Uh..." Zack hesitated. How could he explain what seemed almost unexplainable to him? How could he explain to Tifa about one product of Hojo's experimentation without explaining so much more? He had to try. "Okay, Cloud's got these things. Like holes...sorta."

Tifa looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Holes?" she echoed.

"Yeah." He shook his head. "I know, it makes no sense when I say it like that but...whatever. They're bleeding. Continuously. They've bled before, just not like this."

Tifa seemed to be struggling a little to come to grips with what Zack was saying.

"Bleeding," she said.

"Yeah," Zack confirmed.

"Well...how bad?" she dared to ask.

"Uhh..." Zack looked over at Cloud briefly. "You got any plastic sheets around here?"

As it turned out, Tifa did have some plastic sheeting.

"Is in here okay?" Tifa asked. Zack looked around at the room from just inside the doorway. The room was clearly outfitted for a child, probably a little girl.

"This your room?" Zack questioned jokingly.

"It's where the daughter of a friend of mine sleeps when she's here," she explained.

"A friend of yours?" Zack echoed her words. "What happened to 'I have no one'?" he inquired.

Tifa shot him a glare. "Don't be an asshole," she fired at him. He gave in with a shrug.

"The room's fine. Put the plastic on the floor," he directed. "I'll get Cloud." He headed for the door but stopped, turning back. "There's something else you should know," he said a little hesitantly.

"What?" Tifa asked without looking at him.

"Cloud thinks he remembers his hometown," Zack explained. Tifa met his eyes.

"Isn't that a good thing?" she questioned.

"He thinks he's from Gongaga," Zack added.

Tifa shook her head. "Why would he think that?"

"I don't think it really matters," Zack replied.

"But you set things straight, right?" was her next question. When Zack said nothing her mouth fell open slightly. "You didn't tell him the truth?!" she blurted in shock.

"The truth? That he comes from a town that no longer exists? That it was destroyed and his family with it?" Zack shot back at her. "He's happy with the lie."

Tifa was about to argue but held back. "I suppose you want me to lie to him too," she said at last. Zack didn't need to confirm that to her. Softly she declared "This is wrong, Zack."

"It's good enough for now," he stated before leaving the room to get Cloud from downstairs.

Cloud was still sitting at the table downstairs where he'd been left. His body had tired and weakened after having walked from the apartment. His muscles were stiffening once again and he needed help getting up to the room being prepared by Tifa.

"Here ya go, buddy," Zack said as he helped Cloud down to a seated position on the floor over the plastic. "Let's get some of this stuff off you," he added, referring to his coat and clothing. Cloud looked past Zack at where Tifa was standing.

"I can go if..." she began to say, motioning to the door.

Zack looked down at Cloud, watching him look away in what he knew to be an acceptance of Tifa's presence.

"It's okay," Zack spoke back to her. "You're gonna be up here enough, you might as well see it now."

Tifa halted and observed silently as Zack helped Cloud with his coat and two layers of shirts, the second of which had a few small indicators that blood had seeped through the bandages Zack had wrapped around the ports. That layer was removed to reveal the bloodied bandages themselves. He started to pull away those taped to his chest and as the first port was uncovered, Tifa stepped a little closer.

"Oh my God," she whispered in dreaded awe and stood frozen as the rest of them were revealed.

000

Zack knew he was either determined or stupid. He liked to think it was the former. Either way, he didn't really like taking chances. He needed a phone. One that was untraceable. Such a thing almost didn't exist. You'd have to go through a lot of effort to make your phone untraceable. He chose the middle ground. A payphone. It would be a little harder to trace, but not untraceable. The Turks could do it rather quickly. For this reason, he decided to head out to the farthest sector from where he currently was.

He had a fair amount of time to think as he was walking out there. He went through in his head just what the Turks would think when they had traced his call. His attempt to throw them off may turn out to work against him. They would either assume he was living in the sector where he'd made the call or that he lived in one of the ones farthest away. There were, after all, Turks familiar with his type of thinking. One Turk in particular.

That thought kept nagging at him. He couldn't make it so easy for them. He couldn't make it easy for Tseng. He knew Tseng as well. He knew him enough that if he chose a phone in Sector 3, the furthest from Sector 7 that the Turk would assume he had been trying to throw them off. Tseng, in theory, then would go to the farthest sector from Sector 3 when looking for him.

He was in Sector 2 when he changed his mind, deciding it was better to go to a phone at the half-way point. Sector 1. He needed to backtrack.

Back at the bar, Cloud had managed to avoid Tifa by staying in the bathroom. He couldn't stay in there forever though. Despite the obvious reasons why, he also had the growing urge to lay down for awhile. He was exhausted and sore and his head was throbbing. He spent a few extra minutes tightening the bandages wrapped around his arms. It was difficult as he somewhat needed to hold onto the sink to support himself. His legs were weak and trembling. Zack had given him some more medication before he'd left though they were only marginally working.

He stopped fidgeting with his bandages and looked up at the mirror in front of himself. He liked to avoid his reflection. It seemed oddly foreign to him. He was reminded of everything Tifa could see and it made him uneasy. Right now his ports were covered but the rest of his torso wasn't. With the exception of showers, and the brief moments it took him to get changed, he was more exposed now than he had been since...well since he and Zack had gotten away from their captivity.

There were so many scars. Zack had his fair share as well and his skin tone was a few shades darker, making the scars more visible than Cloud's own, yet he didn't seem anywhere near as self-conscious about them. Cloud had thought about what Zack would say if he asked him why he was so comfortable having them out in the open. He'd either say something deep like 'Can't hide them forever. It's just skin,' or something more along the lines of 'I like 'em; makes me look tough.'

Cloud touched one of the scars on his torso, running his finger tips across it. His fingers themselves were scarred. It was a strange feeling. He met his own eyes then. Eyes that freaked him out no matter how many times he looked at them. Like blue ice, outlined in green. Gripping the sink harder, he leaned forward, bringing his face within an inch of the mirror. He stared into his own eyes, focusing on the green, watching as the rings changed slightly. They seemed to follow his pulse, brightening just a fraction as his heart pushed blood out to his body. It was so subtle. Even more subtle, were the tiny lines that swept out like branches from the main lines, weaving through his irises.

Like veins. That's what it reminded him of.

Something happened then. Something in the reflection of his eyes changed. It was almost as if they were reflecting another person. Like the person was standing in front of him and their image was being reflected in his own eyes. He held his breath unconsciously as he kept his gaze fixed. He wanted to blink but he felt frozen, his feet glued to the floor and his hands stuck to the sink.

He thought he heard something then, a whispered '_hello_' in his ear. He realized he really couldn't move then, though he was trying as hard as he could. The muscles in his arms shook as he tried to push himself away from the sink and the mirror in front of him. He couldn't get his eyes to shut. They were beginning to water. He tried to take in a breath but the air entered his lungs slowly. He couldn't stop staring into his own eyes.

What had he done to himself? It made no sense. The tearing in his eyes clouded up his vision slightly before the tears broke free and headed downwards on a path toward his chin. He attempted to call out but the sound barely left his mouth. Suddenly, the green rings in his eyes expanded, spreading out and consuming the blue of his iris, burning their way across. His paralysis ceased just as suddenly and he shut his eyes fast, releasing a soft cry as his knees gave out and he struggled to keep hold of the sink. But his arms gave out just as easily, his muscles aching from his initial attempt at getting away from the sink. He dropped to the floor on his knees. His eyes were still burning, hot tears rushing from them, making it worse.

He barely noticed the door to the bathroom had been opened.

"Cloud!" he heard Tifa say his name in surprise. He looked toward her but just as quickly turned his head away and covered his eyes with his one hand. "What's wrong?" he heard her ask with clear concern.

"D-don't," he stuttered out. "Don't look at me!"

"What happened? What's wrong," she asked again, crouching down in front of him.

"Don't look at my eyes!" he called out in panic. He had no idea what had just happened but he didn't know if he could do to her what he'd just done to himself. A hand grabbed his unexpectedly and pulled it away from his face. He met Tifa's worried expression for a split-second before turning his head away again fast. "Tifa!" he shouted in frustration.

"There's nothing wrong with your eyes, Cloud!" she replied, placing a hand on his one shoulder. He paused then, wondering if he'd heard right.

She had to be wrong. He kept himself turned away from her. She got up then and left the bathroom. She came back a moment later with a compact mirror. She held it out to him.

"Look," she urged. She held it out as long as it took for him to decide to take it from her. He held it in one shaky hand but didn't look into it. "Please, look," Tifa spoke softly and he did, keeping his eyes closed at first as he held the mirror to his face. He opened one eye slowly and was shocked by what he saw.

Nothing. Blue once again. His shock was evident.

"See," Tifa said. "They're fine."

"But I—" he began, not sure what he wanted to say.

"What did you see before?" Tifa inquired. He shook his head slowly.

"I...don't know," he said at last. There was a bit of silence then.

"Come on," Tifa spoke at last, reaching to help him to his feet and back to the bedroom. Within twenty minutes of getting back into bedroom and sitting down, he had passed out cold and no amount of effort on Tifa's part would wake him up.

000

Hours since he'd left Tifa's bar, Zack was standing outside a phonebooth that looked like it wouldn't hold up in a windstorm. It's a wonder such a thing existed down in the slums at all. Shinra had installed them at some point. He wondered if they'd been installed in such a way that they looked about ready to go out of service.

He fished out some coins from his pocket along with the piece of paper with a phone number written on it. It was Jacob's number. He'd held onto it, just in case. Good thing. He picked up the receiver and placed his coins in the nearby slot. He dialled the numbers on the paper slowly, hesitating a moment before dialling in the last number. He listened then to the ringing, waiting for Jacob to answer. Hoping that he would. After three rings the man answered.

"Hi," Zack spoke uneasily into the receiver. "I'm sorry to have to call," he added without giving his name, though the man had already known his and Cloud's true identities.

"Zack?" Jacob questioned after a brief moment of silence.

"I need your help," Zack declared reluctantly.

"Is it your friend?" the man asked.

"He's really sick," Zack said by way of confirmation. "The medications used to treat mako poisoning stopped working for him. I need to know if there's anything else. I thought your doctor friend may know."

"I can certainly ask him," Jacob replied.

"There's something else I need you to ask him about," Zack continued, placing his one arm against the wall of the booth and pressing his forehead against it.

"What is it?"

"I need to know if he can surgically remove the ports in Cloud's body," Zack said sadly. He was already anticipating the answer he figured he'd get whenever Jacob talked to the doctor.

"I'll ask him," Jacob confirmed. "Do you have a number I can call you back at?"

Zack looked at the number written on the phone and gave it to Jacob. The man told him he'd get back to him as soon as possible before hanging up. All Zack could do then was wait.

It was nearly an hour before the phone rang in the booth. It startled Zack from where he was sitting just outside. He jumped up and reached for the receiver, answering as quick as he could.

"Zack?" Jacob's voice inquired.

"Yeah," Zack confirmed. "What's the word?"

"There is another medicine. It's experimental and not specifically for mako poisoning, though it has been effective in controlling it. It's only just been developed and even my friend doesn't have access to it," the man explained.

"What's it called?" Zack asked, pulling the piece of paper with Jacob's number on it from his pocket along with a pen.

"Trimocyphlin fourty-two. But there are side-effects you should be aware of."

"Like what?" Zack asked hesitantly.

"Well there's a list of possibles but most likely muscle weakness and hallucinations."

"Of course," Zack muttered. "But it's not going to kill him?"

"Well...no—" Jacob began.

"Great, what about the ports?" Zack inquired next.

"He couldn't really say whether he'd be able to remove them without being able to inspect them. He offered to have you bring Cloud to his office."

Zack was silent. The ever-present knot in his stomach tightened.

"Zack?"

Zack shook his head lightly. "Um. I'll get back to you on that. I...I gotta go. Thanks, Jacob."

"Zack, I might be able to help more if you tell me where you are," Jacob claimed.

"Yeah. I'll call you back soon," Zack replied, dodging his attempts to gain any more information. He hung up slowly, feeling somewhat guilty.

He looked down at the name of the drug he'd written down. Ripped it away from the space on the paper where Jacob's number was written, separating the two.

"How in the hell am I gonna get a hold of this?" he questioned aloud. He knew he would. He just wasn't sure how. He would start with the dealer he'd gone to in Sector 5 a few days earlier. But that would have to wait until a little later. For now, he'd go back to the bar to check on Cloud.

The moment he stepped into the bar, he was met with Tifa coming down the stairs at the back quickly. She seemed panicked and she didn't wait to explain why.

"Cloud's unconscious," she revealed. "He won't wake up."

Zack didn't say anything as he pushed past her on the stairs and made his way back up to the spare room. Cloud was lying on his back on the floor, on the plastic for the most part. Zack crouched next to him and pressed two fingers to his neck to get a feel for what his pulse was like at the moment. To his surprise, it was fairly strong and steady. Still, his skin was a little too warm. Zack pried one of his friend's eyes open to check his pupil dilation. They were still responsive to the light. Zack nodded to himself before looking over at Tifa.

"He's not bad," he said to her but her uneasy expression stayed. "Could be a lot worse. That's not to say it won't get worse. But, for now, at least, he's alright. He should stay on his side though," he instructed.

He took hold of Cloud's left arm and leg and pulled him onto his side.

"Why?" Tifa asked.

"In case he throws up. And he probably will. That way he won't choke on it," Zack explained. He moved some of Cloud's hair out of his face before coming to a stand. He faced Tifa then. She looked like she was about to ask something. And indeed she did.

"How many times has Cloud been out like this? You seem pretty comfortable with it," she spoke.

Zack thought about his answer. He didn't know how many times it was. All he could say was "Too many times." He knew that wasn't going to be the end of it. He attempted to evade her inevitable upcoming questions by leaving the room and heading back downstairs. "You mind if I grab myself some water?" he called back to her, knowing she would be following after him.

"Whatever you want," she replied.

"Whatever I want?" he said happily. "You shouldn't have said that. I'm gonna take advantage of it."

When they were in the kitchen she continued.

"I wanna know how long Cloud's had mako poisoning, and why," she said firmly. Zack ignored her at first. "Zack—" she spoke up again but he interrupted.

"I seem to remember you agreeing not to ask any questions."

"It wasn't a question. I want to know. I think it's fair," she said in return.

"Fair?" Zack replied, turning to face her. "I got a newsflash for you, Teef. Sometime's things ain't fair. In fact, sometimes they just plain out suck."

"You don't need to lecture me about things not being fair, Zack. But I don't understand why you won't be honest. Something terrible happened to Cloud, to both of you I'm sure. I don't get why it is you can't just tell me what it was. I already told you you can trust me, what more do you want?"

Zack studied her face as he was leaning back against the fridge at his back. When he said nothing she took a few steps toward him.

"What is it, Zack?" she asked in a softer tone. "What happened?"

He clenched his jaw instinctively. He couldn't tell her. She couldn't know. Why couldn't she know? He didn't have any real answer for that.

"Zack," she spoke again, getting even closer to him. A little too close in his opinion. He wasn't one for feeling trapped in one-on-one situations but he was feeling it now. "Tell me what happened," she said a little over a whisper. He pressed himself back against the fridge, feeling himself getting hot with anxiety. His anxiety was fuelled by the part of him that was trying to keep the rest of him from telling the truth. "Please," Tifa continued to push. "Tell me."

She was mere inches away from him, or at least it felt that way. He pulled away from her, heading for the door to the back of the building, pulling it open and stepping out into the hot sun of the early afternoon. He leaned over, his hands on his knees as he felt himself getting slightly lightheaded. He didn't know he was trembling until Tifa placed a hand on his shoulder and told him so.

"What happened, Zack," she asked again.

"Tifa, please..." he groaned.

"You and Cloud were at the reactor in Nibelheim. You went after Sephiroth. What happened then? Where did you go?" She stepped in front of him. Unexpectedly, she placed her hands on his face. She repeated her last question but he jerked away from her.

"Drop it, Tifa!" he demanded. He aimed to head back into the building but she blocked his way, standing in the doorway. "Get out of the way," he ordered. Much to his surprise, she moved. Perhaps she could see how tense he was and how close he was to losing his cool. He pushed past her and went for the stairs. He returned to the spare room, stopping in the hall just outside the room when he noticed there was someone else in there besides Cloud. Whoever it was, they were leaning over and looking at Cloud. Cloud of course had no idea the intruder was there.

Without further hesitation, Zack stormed into the room, grabbing the person by the back of his shirt and slamming him up against the nearest wall. It was a guy probably about Cloud's age.

"Whoa!" he cried out as Zack had him pressed against the wall. "Take it easy, man!"

"Who are you?!" Zack shouted at him, pressing his arm a little harder against the kid's throat.

Tifa had come up the stairs by then. She rushed forward and grabbed Zack's one arm, not that it made much difference. She wasn't a match to his strength.

"Let him go, Zack!" she commanded.

"You know this guy?" Zack asked, not yet ready to comply.

"Yes! He works here," she revealed. Zack began to let up then. "His name's Joey," Tifa further explained as Zack let the guy go and she pushed her way in between them.

"What the hell's he doing up here?" Zack asked sharply.

"I was looking for Tifa," the kid explained. "What the hell are _you_ doing up here?" he challenged then.

"Watch it, Joey," Tifa scolded.

A low moan drew the attention of all three of them. The sound had come from Cloud. It sounded to Zack to be a moan of protest, which seemed confirmed by the way he thrashed his one arm weakly. He rolled back onto his back as he took in a half-sobbed breath.

Zack approached him quickly, kneeling down and taking hold of Cloud's forearm as he was still throwing it outwards.

"Spikey, wake up," he urged. Cloud did begin to wake, slowly. His fingers closed on the material of Zack's shirt and with a little more encouragement from Zack he opened his eyes. He still seemed upset, a few tears running from his eyes. "It's okay, buddy, just relax," Zack urged, trying at the same time to gently remove Cloud's fingers from his shirt. His friend was keeping a surprisingly tight grip on it.

"Wh—wh—" Cloud struggled to say something.

"What, Spikey?" Zack asked softly.

"Wh...where are they?" his friend whispered, pulling Zack closer by his shirt. For a moment, Zack just stared down at him. He shook his head slightly.

"Who, Spike?" he asked uneasily. "Tifa's here..."

"Nooo..." he groaned.

"Who then, buddy?" Zack spoke in confusion.

"I don't..." Cloud tried to answer but his voice faded. His grip slackened on Zack then and Zack was able to pull his shirt from his hand.

"Go to sleep, buddy. You'll feel better in a bit," Zack said as he urged Cloud to turn over again. Just as quickly as Cloud had been upset, he was calm again. He closed his eyes and pulled his arms into his body closer.

"Don't feel well..." he muttered tiredly.

"I know. Go to sleep," Zack repeated. In a moment's time, Cloud was out again. Zack looked towards Tifa and Joey. He stood up and approached them, stopping in front of Joey. "You didn't see anything here, did you?" he asked icily.

"Not necessary, Zack," Tifa spoke for Joey. She placed a hand on his shoulder and guided him to the door. "I'll take care of this," she spoke back to Zack before she and Joey left the room and headed back downstairs. Zack spent some time cleaning Cloud off once again and re-bandaged his ports. He wasn't sure it was doing much good. The bandages almost seemed to be drawing more blood to the surface.

Tifa returned to the room when he was just about done.

"You don't need to worry about Joey," she announced. "He's trustworthy."

Zack looked at her. "Wow," he said flatly. "I know I feel comforted."

She sat down in the nearby chair. "How is he?" she asked.

"Not great," Zack admitted. "I thought he was a lot better off before his little spell of delirium."

Tifa was reminded suddenly of Cloud's early freak out in the bathroom when he'd thought something was wrong with his eyes. She decided not to bring it up. It wouldn't do any good anyway. "Who was he asking about?" she asked instead.

"Who knows? He probably didn't know himself," Zack answered solemnly as he wrapped the one side of the plastic sheet over Cloud and covered him with a blanket over top.

Tifa switched topics then. "Did you get a hold of whoever you wanted to call?"

"Yeah," Zack said with a nod as he moved himself to sit on the edge of the bed nearby.

"Who was it?" Tifa dared to ask, not expecting an answer. She was surprised to get one.

"A guy who helped us out when we first got back to Midgar. He has a friend who's a doctor," Zack explained.

"What'd he say?" Tifa asked slowly, afraid of the answer

"There may be another drug that can help Cloud. But it's experimental. Available only in research facilities. It's not specifically meant to treat mako poisoning...and there's some side effects."

"Will it stop the bleeding?"

"Maybe. It's hard to know. It would be best if he could have the ports removed."

"The doctor—can't he—do something?" she asked tentatively.

Zack shrugged a little. "He might be able to. But I'd have to get Cloud over to his office," he explained.

Tifa looked at him as though he should be happier. "So, what's the problem?" she inquired.

"The problem is, I don't want to," Zack replied.

Tifa still wasn't understanding. "Why not?"

Zack released a frustrated sigh. "'Cause I don't like putting Cloud and myself in a position where the outcome could be..." _capture_, he thought, "unfavourable," he said.

Tifa shook her head. "I don't get it."

That wasn't entirely true. She had her suspicions. The guys were on the run from something. She could have vocalized her suspicions but she kept quiet instead. At least for now. She offered instead to make something for Zack to eat.

"You don't really have a choice, you know," she commented from behind the bar as she was cleaning some glasses. Zack was sitting at the bar, having just finished eating. He gave her a questioning glance. "About taking Cloud to see that doctor," she clarified. "It's better than taking him to a hospital, right? 'Cause it would be too open?"

A smile tugged at Zack's mouth. She was at it again. Always fishing for answers.

"What other choice is there? Besides letting him bleed out?" she questioned when he said nothing.

"Can't you just plug the holes with something?" Joey questioned from across the room while he was moving some chairs around at some of the tables.

Zack looked back over his shoulder with a frown. "I'm not sticking anything in his '_holes_,'" he replied sharply, though it wasn't the most terrible idea in the world.

"Just a thought," Joey muttered.

"If I want your thoughts I'll ask for 'em," Zack snapped.

"You don't need to be so mean to him, you know," Tifa said. "I don't remember you being so unpleasant."

"That's funny," Zack countered. "You're just as unpleasant as I remember." He tilted his head to miss the hand towel she flung toward him.

Things grew serious again as Tifa just had to ask "You thought about seeing Aerith yet?"

Zack rolled his eyes before throwing his head down on his forearms and groaning.

"Can't you just give up?" he asked, his voice muffled.

"She visits you, you know," Tifa said quietly. Zack lifted his head slightly and rested his chin on his hands. She leaned on the bar top to get closer to him. "Every week," she added.

"What are you talking about?" he inquired, confused.

"She goes to your grave every week and lays down flowers. Every Friday night since...ya know," she revealed.

"No way," he said, scoffing lightly.

She nodded firmly.

"No she—" he began but stopped, not sure what he was trying to get out. He stood up and turned away from the bar a moment before whipping back around. "Every week?" Tifa nodded again.

"She loves you, Zack," she pointed out as though it should be obvious.

"Loves me?" he shot back. He thought back on the journal page. The page he hadn't been able to hold onto in the Shinra Mansion's basement. In it, Aerith had basically declared she was letting him go. "You know, I went to the church, Tifa. Weeks ago," he began to explain. "An-and she was there and I saw her and she was...God, she was perfect. Just...perfect." He paused as he thought about it. "And she was with Tseng, the Turk," he concluded.

Tifa shook her head slowly. "Whatever it is, it means nothing," she tried to tell him. He waved her off. "No, Zack, she is _in _love with you. You have to see her, you have to talk to her—"

"No," he denied. "I can't."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I'm different now, Tifa!" he nearly shouted. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Joey duck out into the back. "I'm not the same person she fell in love with. What if she doesn't like what I've become? How I've changed? I'd rather remember what we had and not live through having the feelings fall apart into nothing."

He could feel tears beginning to gather in his eyes and did what he could to control them.

"It's not like she hasn't changed too, Zack," Tifa pointed out. "But it's not fair to her, and it's not fair to you to deny the chance to have the happiness you once had."

Zack didn't know what to say to that. Luckily he didn't need to say anything. He forgot all about what they had been talking about when he thought he heard a thud from upstairs. No, not one, several. Zack headed for the stairs, taking two at a time. When he entered the room where Cloud was he found him seizing. His arms and legs were thudding against the floor, followed by his head. Zack dropped to the floor when he'd reached him and grasped his head, keeping it from bouncing.

"The pillow!" he called out to Tifa as she entered the room after him. She went for the pillow on the bed, tossing it to him. He placed it under Cloud's head and waited for his friend to stop seizing. He exchanged a look with Tifa. Her expression displayed what he felt. They were both wondering when it would end.

Cloud's movements ceased suddenly. A few seconds later his chin tilted upward slightly. Zack recognized the unconscious action. "Hand me the garbage can, quick!" he ordered. Tifa did as he asked. He barely managed to turn Cloud over and get the small garbage can close enough to his face before he vomited. Tifa left the room momentarily and returned with a damp cloth. She handed it to Zack and took the garbage can from him. She watched as he wiped around Cloud's mouth with the cloth.

"Please tell me this is something really unusual and it's not gonna happen again" she said then.

"It isn't typical, I don't think," Zack confirmed. He could only remember seeing Cloud seize once before. "But I can't say it won't happen again," he added. "If it does, just try to make sure his head isn't banging against the floor. All you can really do is wait it out."

She looked at him critically. "Why do I feel like you're giving me instructions like you're about to go somewhere?" she asked.

"Because I am," he said simply.

"No, Zack, you can't! I don't know what to do, and I have to open for business in like three hours," she spoke a little frantically.

Zack rose to his feet. "Well...I don't know what to tell you. I gotta go see about that drug. Time is kinda of the essence here, if you know what I mean." He started to head toward the bathroom to wash out the cloth in his hand. "Have you maybe considered closing for a night?" he called back over his shoulder.

"I can't just not open, Zack. I have a responsibility and it's how I make a living—" she began to argue.

"Fine, whatever, if he dies while you're serving beer to drunks guess it's on you," he said, cutting her off.

She left the bedroom and went after him. "How can you say that too me?" she asked heatedly. "God, you can be such a prick."

"If there was someone else I trust to watch over Cloud while I go get this shit done then we wouldn't be here. But unfortunately you're it," he said back to her, pushing past her to leave the bathroom.

"You trust me?" Tifa questioned in clear doubt.

"Not really," Zack admitted. "Look," he said then, his tone softening. "I get it. Do what you gotta do. Just check on him when you can, alright?"

She nodded. "Can you at least tell me where you're going?"

He sighed. "No. Cause I really have no idea."

Well that wasn't exactly true. He knew where he was going first. Down to Sector 5 to talk to the dealer he'd been to a few days earlier. He doubted the guy was going to be able to get the drug he was looking for but he was hoping the guy may have an idea who he should talk to about getting the stuff.

He wasn't prepared for the goddamn hunt he was sent on. He searched out five different dealers at five different places, three of them clubs, before he got the name of a dealer that actually sounded like he'd be of help. The man's name was Scorch and he ran a club on the plate. Apparently he specialized in getting what most couldn't. But he was considered a 'serious' dealer. Meaning, it was a big deal to do business with him. It wasn't what Zack wanted. It was the last thing he wanted. But he felt optionless at that point.

As far as clubs went, Scorch's looked a little less seedy, at least on the outside. There was a long line out front. A half-hour wait at least. He attempted to make his way to the front and bypass the line, thinking he could talk his way in. He was met with a less than warm welcome from the bouncers out front.

"Hey!" one of them shouted as he grabbed hold of Zack's shirt, jerking him away from the door. "What the fuck you think you're doing?" he questioned.

"Relax!" Zack shot back at him. "I don't care about getting into the club!" he explained.

"Yeah, sure buddy!" the bouncer said in clear doubt as he tried to pull Zack further from the doors. Zack shoved him back and the bouncer's eyes flared in anger.

"Look! I just need to see someone!" Zack shouted fast. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a few of the bills he had there. He pushed it into the guy's chest before he could reach out to grab hold of him again. The bouncer took the money in his one hand and looked at it.

"You here for Scorch?" the bouncer asked. Zack said nothing and the guy just snorted. He stepped aside and motioned for Zack to go ahead.

"Thanks," Zack muttered and headed for the doors.

It took Zack's eyes a moment to adjust when he had entered the club. It was dark and the music steadily grew in volume to the point at which he could hear nothing else. The bass was rattling his chest and vibrating the ground beneath his feet. It made him oddly nervous, not being able to hear anything else. It was the opposite of complete silence and almost as maddening.

He'd been told Scorch had a room in the basement. He headed to the back of the club, pushing his way through the mass of people, trying to avoid knocking into the drinks people were holding onto. He spotted a door across the club. It was guarded by another bouncer. His guess was that the door led to the basement.

It wasn't easy to get down to see the dealer. He needed to pay the bouncer just to get him to call down to ask for clearance. Finally, the door was opened and he was allowed to make his way down. He was happy to get away from the noise upstairs, though it was still audible. Another door at the bottom of the stairs was guarded. The guard called in and announced Zack's arrival. He was let in after a minute and found himself in a dimly lit room filled with leather furniture and one table where it appeared some cocaine was being divided. There were six men and one woman present.

Sitting on a small couch against the back wall was a guy probably his age, certainly younger than he'd been expecting and yet he knew he was looking at the man named Scorch. He was dressed cleanly in a pair of black pants and navy button-down silk shirt. He had dark hair and eyes and regarded Zack with a raised eyebrow as he was directed to one of the chairs across from his. The one woman in the room was seated next to him. She was dressed in a short, black dress and also had dark hair and eyes, though Zack doubted she was related to the man sitting next to her. They seemed a little too friendly. He was separated from them by a coffee table. There was a bit of awkward silence before Scorch spoke.

"Haven't seen you before," he noted. Zack said nothing. He was actually nervous, though he didn't let it show. "How'd you hear about my...services?" the dealer questioned.

"I need something pretty specific. I was told you may be able to get it," Zack replied, dodging his question slightly.

"Really? And what would this specific something be?" Scorch inquired. Zack reached into his one pocket and pulled out the small piece of paper he'd put their earlier. He reached it out toward the dealer but a hand stopped him, falling on his shoulder. It was one of the men standing behind him. The hand on his shoulder let go of him as he sat back against the chair and reached to take the paper from him. He watched as the paper was passed down a few men to the dealer. Zack made eye contact with the woman next to the dealer briefly before shifting his eyes once again.

The dealer glanced at the paper before returning his eyes to Zack. "Not exactly a top recreational choice," Scorch commented with a smirk. When Zack made no response he continued. "Why do you want it?"

"Does it matter?" Zack asked. "Can you get it or not?" he added impatiently.

The dealer looked at him a moment before passing the paper back off to one of the men next to him. "Of course," he said at last. "It isn't going be cheap though."

"How much?" Zack dared to ask. He was fearing the number.

"How much do you need?" Scorch questioned.

"How much can you get?" Zack answered with next to no hesitation. The dealer turned to one of the men on his right. The man leaned over and they exchanged a few quiet words.

"Can't really say," the dealer concluded. "This isn't exactly a typical request you're making. But I can tell you it'll be about seventy-five for ten millilitres."

"You serious?" Zack asked, keeping his expression neutral though inwardly he was reeling in disbelief.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" the dealer fired back in slight annoyance.

That was a fair chunk of change for one little bottle of the medication and Zack knew without a doubt Cloud was going to need a hell of a lot more than ten millilitres.

"I'm gonna need a lot more than ten mils," he spoke lowly.

"Then I guess you know to expect a considerable bill," Scorch returned sharply.

"How soon can you get it? Tonight?" Zack questioned. The dealer laughed dryly.

"Tonight? Man, you must be desperate," the dealer commented. He studied Zack's expression and when he'd accepted Zack was serious he said something to the man to his right. The man replied and the dealer turned back to Zack. "Tomorrow night. Best I can do," Scorch announced. "And it'll cost you extra."

Zack stared back at him a moment. He shook his head before nodding and uttering a quiet "Alright," in acceptance. "What time?"

"Ten. Come to the back of the building. Bring cash. We don't take anything else."

Zack nodded once more in understanding. Without another word, he stood and turned away from the dealer, keeping his head down as he passed the bouncers and made his way back up to the ground floor of the building, back through the club. On the way out he bumped into a couple girls near the dance floor. One of them tried to grab him to dance but he pulled away from her as nicely as he could without actually shoving her. He did, however, shove a few guys out of his way on his mission to leave, finally getting out of the club and back onto the street. He set to getting back to the slums.

Someone important to him once said "There's no such thing as coincidence," that everything ran according to a set plan. If that was true then there really was no way around what was about to happen. It was busy at the station. Typical Saturday night at the peak of bar and club hours. Maybe that's why he didn't see what was coming at him. Or perhaps he was just distracted, thinking about Cloud and getting back to Tifa's. Whatever the reason, he still found his shoulder connecting rather hard with that of another and as he looked up to apologize found himself staring into the face of an old friend. A once fellow SOLDIER.

"Kunsel," he said aloud before he'd had a chance to process what was happening. Upon hearing his name, Kunsel paled. His eyes were wide as he stood frozen in front of Zack.

After a moment he managed to get out one thing. "Holy shit."

_Holy shit_, indeed.


	13. JUST A NOTE

_Okay, not a chapter, I'm sorry! I hate subitting notes 'cause I know the first thing that comes to mind when you get that email from the site is "chapter update!" I really wish I had something to submit for you, but alas, it will be awhile longer. Actually what I had to mention was that **Nobody-XV** created a fan vid for "Reduced to Specimens" and "Reclamation" and I didn't think it was fair for her to wait until I end up updating again for me to make the announcement lol. So be sure to check it out! You can find it on YouTube at **www . youtube . com / watch?v=uvbmeyCFy-k**_

_Also, I've created a little playlist on my account on YouTube at **www . youtube . com / user / JaydeeGrey** for the fan vids, so you can find them there as well. Check 'em out and leave a comment for the creators. It takes time to come up with that stuff. They deserve some praise! ^^ _

_That's all from me for awhile as I go back into hiding. A few people have expressed concerns about my long absences these days and I guess I realize now that some of you may worry that I'll abandon this story. I will **NOT **abandon this story or my other one. It may take me a hell of a long time to update (and I seriously appreciate your patience and dedication to coming back to read) but I will always be back.__ I promise to get to work on the next chapter when I can, though for all you "Dreams Incarnate" readers out there, you'll be happy to know that the next chapter of that will be coming up first. I know, it's been well-neglected. Should be a good chapter though, if I have anything to say about it...which I do. Right, enough babbling. Have a good one guys, see you all soon!_

_Cheers! _


	14. Chapter 12

_Hey guys, thanks for being patient. Here's the updated chapter. I just want to say thank you to everyone who's been adding this story (as well as my others) to their favourite and alert lists. Makes me bigtime happy! ^^ Also, I've put up a new playlist on YouTube called 'Featured' which will have the songs for each current chapter in it. You can still access the full list in the Reclamation playlist. Two of the songs for this chapter aren't available on YouTube so I put the links for them. Just remove the spaces. That's all from me i think. Oh, except that this chapter was meant to have more in it but it was getting long so I cut it off as is and will continue writing the rest for the next chapter, which...shouldn't take too long...shouldn't lol. _

Songs:

Calving - Paradigm_Japan http:/ www. /#/s/7J2pAWFZ60x/

Fevers and Fireworks – The Soldier Thread http:/www. /#/s/iwZDUT3iPyC/

Long Night of Dreaming – Crash Parallel

Blood Bank – Bon Iver

Start Today Tomorrow – Youth Group

Chapter XII

"Holy shit!" Kunsel repeated, this time a little louder. He stepped back and knocked into someone behind him.

For a brief second, Zack thought about running. But where would he run to? And how smart a decision would it be. Kunsel had seen him. He needed to do immediate damage control. If he ran now without a word there was a good chance his old friend would go back to SOLDIER headquarters and tell someone what he'd seen. Instead, he decided to get Kunsel to calm down so he didn't make too much of a scene and draw attention to them. He stepped forward and said his name once again.

"You're alive?" the man spoke in sheer disbelief. He looked like he was either going to throw up or pass out. He was very much standing in the way of people moving in and out of trains. They pushed past him and he barely resisted against them.

"Come here," Zack ordered as he took hold of Kunsel's upper arm and started to pull him away from the crowd to a nearby bench. Kunsel just stared at Zack's hand gripping his arm lightly as he was dragged away. When the bench seat touched the backs of his legs he sank down immediately. As Zack let go of him, Kunsel grabbed hold of his forearm and turned it slowly, looking at it.

"I'm not imagining this," Kunsel stated in awe and looked up at Zack who shook his head slowly. He pulled his arm away gently.

"You're not gonna throw up are you?" Zack asked then. Kunsel was looking pale and like he was breaking into a sweat.

"I think I might," Kunsel replied quietly as he leaned forward and lowered his head toward his knees. Zack frowned a little before smiling as he took note of Kunsel's uniform.

"Hey, they finally made you first class," he said brightly. When he'd left Kunsel had been a second class.

Kunsel looked down at himself as if he had no idea what Zack was talking about.

Instead of agreeing or making a following comment on his rank he shook his head and stuttered out a "Wh—what…where…"

Zack sighed and sat himself down next to him. "It's um…kinda a long story," he said in return.

"You were buried. They—they buried you. I was asked to be a pallbearer," Kunsel revealed. Zack averted his eyes as he thought about it. How painful it must have been for his parents.

"I don't know who it was they buried…but it wasn't me." He looked at Kunsel once again. The man was staring at the ground ahead of him, looking as if he were reliving what had gone on. "You didn't drop my casket did you?" Zack asked then, making an attempt at joking.

It took a second for Kunsel to reply. "No," he said dully. "I told them I didn't wanna do it."

Zack didn't know what to say to that. Kunsel must have realized how it could be taken negatively and further explained.

"It's not that I—I—normally, I would be honoured," he stuttered out. "But at the time…I refused to believe you were dead. I didn't go to the funeral…never saw your grave until about a year ago." When Zack still said nothing, he went on. "There were lots of people there though, at the funeral. Half the company. Maybe more."

Zack scoffed lightly. He didn't really care who showed up. It had all been a stage show. Shinra had known what really happened to him and Cloud. The company had found two corpses to bury in their place. Had made the calls to their families, telling them they were never going to see them again.

"Um…" Zack struggled with some kind of reply. He looked up at his train that was coming into the station. "I gotta go, Kunsel. You should get back to headquarters..." he said tentatively, standing up once again.

"What?" Kunsel said fast, looking up at him as he rose to a stand next to him. "What the hell are you talking about? Gotta go where?"

"My train's here. I gotta go," Zack clarified. He hesitated on leaving though. How was he to make sure Kunsel didn't say anything to someone at Shinra?

"No, wait a minute! I'm not gonna just let you leave!" Kunsel said abruptly.

The statement made Zack tremble a little on the inside. Like it was a threat of some sort. Of forcible confinement. He knew that's not was Kunsel was meaning. Or rather hoped. Did he really distrust his old friend that much? He faced him directly.

"Kunsel, please don't say anything to anyone about seeing me. Please," he basically begged.

"Why not?" Kunsel asked fast. Zack stepped up in front of him closely, placing a hand on his one shoulder.

"No one at Shinra can know. Please, Kunsel, promise me," Zack urged.

Kunsel looked from the hand resting on his shoulder to Zack's face, his mouth open slightly. "I…okay," he agreed at last. After a moment, Zack smiled and nodded in acceptance. He wasn't entirely sure he trusted Kunsel, but he also wasn't entirely sure it would matter if Kunsel did say something to someone at Shinra. The Turks already knew that he and Cloud were in Midgar.

He turned to leave then but as he headed for the train, a hand grabbed his arm. He looked back at Kunsel.

"I'm coming with you," he said firmly.

"No, Kunsel, you have to let me go. If you don't check in at Shinra when you're supposed to they'll be looking for you," Zack pointed out.

"I have a night pass. I'm not expected to check in 'till oh-nine hundred."

"Kunsel…" Zack began to argue. Kunsel shut him down right away.

"Let's go," he said, motioning to the train. He said it in the commanding tone Zack remembered well. In the past, in SOLDIER, Zack had always considered him a peer but there were moments when he seemed so much older and wiser. Even when he'd reached first class ahead of Kunsel, he still knew when to back down and follow the lead of his old friend. Sighing in exasperation, he made his way onto the train, followed closely by Kunsel.

He didn't know if he was making a mistake. He was debating with himself the entire way down to the slums if he should be leading Kunsel back to the bar. He wanted to trust the man. But…

He shifted his eyes toward Kunsel once again. They'd been sitting in silence the past five minutes.

"Dude, quit staring, it's creeping me out," he ordered from where he sat, his arms crossed over his chest. Kunsel was sitting across from him and hadn't been able to tear his eyes away since they sat down.

"I'm sorry, it's just, I'm not sure I believe it yet," Kunsel replied meekly. He really did seem to be in shock. "Where are we going?"

"The slums," Zack said simply, knowing it was an obvious answer. Kunsel just nodded. Silence was restored.

By the time they arrived at the station in the slums, Zack had decided it was a bad decision to let Kunsel come down there. He couldn't lead him back to Cloud. What was he thinking? But now he didn't know what to do. He began leading Kunsel around slowly, down random streets. It didn't take long for the man to clue in to what was going on.

"Zack," he spoke suddenly, grabbing his shoulder from behind. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"What?" Zack questioned, trying to seem oblivious.

"Why are you leading me around to nowhere? You don't trust me, do you?" Kunsel inquired.

"Truthfully?" Zack began, "No." Kunsel actually looked a little hurt. "I'm sorry. I want to, but I just…a lot's happened in the past few years. I don't feel like I can trust anyone. Especially anyone from Shinra."

"Why? Why Shinra especially?"

Zack looked away, running his hands through his hair.

"Zack, did Shinra…" Kunsel started slowly, pausing.

Zack looked at him. "What?"

"Did Shinra do something…to you?" Kunsel finally asked tentatively. "Did they send you somewhere? Somewhere you weren't…supposed to come back from?"

Kunsel wasn't stupid, that's for sure. But he always seemed to know more than any other SOLDIER at the Academy.

He could have denied it. But for some reason he did just the opposite. He uttered a quiet "Yeah", confirming his old friend's suspicions.

Kunsel's eyes widened slightly. He shook his head. "I knew it. I knew something like that had to have happened. I—I sent you E-mails. But you never replied."

Zack laughed dryly. "Well I didn't exactly have access to a computer," he pointed out.

"Well…where were you?" Kunsel dared to ask, though it seemed that part of him didn't really want to know. Zack said nothing. Kunsel moved closer to him.

"Zack, you can trust me. The only reason I am still involved in the company is because I'm more afraid to be out of the loop as a citizen," Kunsel tried to assure him.

"That right?" Zack asked with some doubt.

"Absolutely."

Zack studied him closely. He seemed to be telling the truth.

"Where are you really heading?" Kunsel asked after a moment.

"A bar," Zack replied. Kunsel shook his head slightly, not really understanding.

"That's where you're staying?" he questioned and for a moment more Zack refused to reply. "C'mon, Zack. What do I gotta do to prove to you that you can trust me?" Zack scoffed a little. There wasn't really anything. "What's at this place that you gotta get to?"

After another tense moment of thought, Zack finally spoke. "If you go back to Shinra with anything I tell or show you, I'll kill you, Kunsel. I swear," he spoke seriously. "I'm not the same person I was four years ago. I won't think twice about it." Well…maybe he'd think twice. But he'd still do it. "If you tell _anyone_ about us…"

"_Us_?" Kunsel repeated in a questioning tone. Zack hadn't really meant to say it that way. A look of suspicion and surprise came over Kunsel. "No," he said then. "Cloud's alive too?"

"Kunsel—" Zack began again.

"Zack, I swear! I get it. My lips are sealed," Kunsel promised.

"Fine," Zack finally gave in and started to lead Kunsel toward the bar.

"So, why are you hiding out at a bar?" Kunsel questioned as they were on their way.

"We aren't. An old friend of Cloud's owns the place. I needed her to look after him while I was on the plate," Zack answered without looking back at him.

"Look after him? What's the matter with him?"

"He's got mako sickness," Zack revealed tonelessly. He was starting to say it without letting himself really think about what it meant. To any ordinary person a serious case of mako sickness meant almost certain death. But Cloud wasn't going to die. No way in hell. He could sense Kunsel's shock.

"How?" he asked. "It couldn't be from the Nibelheim reactor. It was so long ago…"

It didn't seem that long ago…In ways it did. But not really…

"Can the questions wait? I'd rather just give you the story when we're at the bar. Tifa's been dying to know and I'd rather not have to say it twice."

He did have every intention of coming forward with the details of where he and Cloud had been. Not all the details. The bare minimum. Just enough that it would satisfy the needs of those wanting to know.

"So, did they promote you the day I died?" he called back to Kunsel then, switching topics.

"The day after. I tried to turn it down but they wouldn't let me. Just promoted me without all the ceremonial shit."

Zack laughed lightly. Promoting someone to fill the place of another was such a Shinra thing to do. Sometimes he was sure that's the only reason he'd been promoted to first class. To fill the void Angeal had left.

"Why would you turn it down?" he asked curiously though he could probably guess.

"I didn't want a sympathy promotion. And I was sure at that point that you were still alive," Kunsel explained.

Understandable? Certainly.

When they got back to the bar, Zack was exhausted. He was a little surprised to find out the place was closed. He didn't think it was that late yet. The door was locked so he knocked on it a few times until Tifa came to let them in.

"Who the hell's this?" she asked as she set eyes on Kunsel.

"An old friend," Zack answered tiredly. "Tifa, Kunsel," he introduced them briefly and then added "Please don't ask," to Tifa as he was stepping past her. "How's Cloud?" he asked then.

"The same," she replied as she watched Kunsel enter, eying his uniform a little suspiciously. "He woke up a few times but he seemed pretty confused. He also coughed up a little blood, but not much," Tifa explained.

Zack nodded in understanding. "What time is it?" he asked, heading for the bar.

"About one," she answered. She watched him reach down from behind the bar and retrieve a glass. In his other hand he held up a bottle of bourbon and donned a questioning expression. She nodded in allowance, approaching the bar and resting her forearms on it

"Where's the crowd?" Zack asked then as he poured some of the bourbon into the glass.

"I sent them out. Didn't feel right trying to work right now. Sent Joey home shortly after," she answered, reaching and taking the glass Zack had just poured. He smirked a little and reached for another two glasses under the bar top. He poured two more shots and slid the one to Kunsel.

"No, I…" Kunsel began to say something, trailing off a little as both Tifa and Zack looked at him. "I don't drink anymore."

There was a bit of an awkward silence before Zack took the glass back. "Good, more for me," he said before downing the first shot.

"You sure he won't talk?" he asked Tifa then before downing the second shot meant for Kunsel. Tifa shifted her eyes to Kunsel. "Joey," Zack clarified.

"Joey?" Tifa repeated after drinking down her own shot. She gave a short chuckle. "Why you so worried about it?"

That was an attempt on her part to get information from him. He knew how it worked now. Little did she know, he was going to indulge her shortly. He poured another few shots.

"You figured out where to get that drug for Cloud, didn't you?" Tifa asked then after a quiet moment.

"Yup," he said with a nod then took his second shot.

"Where?" she asked in subtle suspicion.

"Why you so worried about it?" he repeated her former words with a smug grin.

"You are..._really_ annoying. You know that?" She followed her statement up with her second shot.

"Thanks, you too," Zack replied.

"You gonna explain why there's a SOLDIER here now?" she asked, tilting her head towards Kunsel.

"I wasn't planning on it, but if you must know I ran into him at the station. We were buddies in SOLDIER," Zack explained.

"Well I sure as hell hope you gave him as hard a time as you have me," she muttered.

"Yeah, we've been through the death threats," Kunsel spoke up.

"Death threats?" Tifa echoed, looking at Zack. "How good of friends were you?"

"The best," Zack admitted. He tapped the bar top with his palms then and turned for the stairs. "I'm gonna check on Cloud. Be back in a minute," he called back before ascending the stairs.

If Kunsel had been expecting some form of conversation with Tifa, he didn't get it. She looked at him once before heading toward the back, saying only one thing. "Don't touch anything."

When Zack got upstairs he could see that Cloud hadn't moved much since he left him. He looked to be sleeping, though he was shaking, the small movement crinkling the plastic under him a little. There were several bloody towels next to him and bandages soaked through with blood in the nearby garbage can.

Zack sat himself down next to Cloud and placed a hand on his friend's forehead before lifting the blanket over him slightly to see how he was looking. His torso was relatively smeared in blood, most of it dry, from when he'd brushed his arms against his chest, either consciously or in his sleep. Zack brushed back some of Cloud's hair and his friend stirred, a short moan slipping from him before he pried his eyes open a little.

"Zack," he breathed out uneasily and Zack smiled.

"Hey, buddy," he greeted, his fingers still lingering in his friend's hair.

"Where'd you go," Cloud asked softly, his voice barely above a hoarse whisper.

"Nowhere, Spike. How you feeling?" Zack deflected.

"Oh-oh-kay," he stuttered through his shivers. Like crap was probably closer to how he was feeling but that was Cloud's instinct to downplay it.

"That's good," Zack said in return. "You're gonna be feeling a lot better soon, Spike. I promise."

"'M tired," his friend replied softly.

"Go back to sleep then. I'll be close-by," Zack assured him. Cloud nodded a little and within a minute's time was out. Zack sat with him for another few minutes. He felt overwhelmed by his thoughts and their entire situation. It would be an incredibly long wait until the next night when he would get a hold of the drugs Cloud needed. There were no guarantees that the drugs would work. If they did, the next thing that would need to be done would be to get Cloud out to see that doctor friend of Jacob's. He knew he had no choice. The ports Hojo had put in his friend had been nothing but problems for him.

Beyond Cloud's problems, now they had Kunsel to deal with. Sometime tonight he was going to have to watch Kunsel walk out the door and will have to have faith he wouldn't go back to Shinra with intensions of turning over their location. He sensed he had nothing to worry about but his head still told him to be smart, and to be cautious. Cautious was always better.

When he made his way back downstairs, he found Kunsel still sitting at the bar and Tifa standing behind it, putting some glasses away. She threw him an inquisitive glance and he just smiled tightly before saying "He's fine. He's asleep." She nodded though her expression was grim.

Without any lead up, Kunsel spoke. "You gonna explain where you've been the past four years now?" he asked. Zack took his time sitting himself down.

Not wasting any time, Zack began with "Until a few months ago, Cloud and I were…in the Shinra Mansion just outside Nibelheim."

He was met with blank stares that quickly became confused.

"What?" Tifa questioned, the first to speak.

"Why?" Kunsel said almost immediately after.

Without looking at either of them, Zack answered. "Hojo had us brought there," he said simply then looked up at Tifa. "Shinra's lead scientist," he clarified before turning slightly toward Kunsel. "Don't know what you were told, but Sephiroth burned Nibelheim. He destroyed the town, killed most of the people. Cloud's mother," he explained.

"My father," Tifa jumped in fast. His eyes travelled toward her briefly. She was rigid as she was leaned forward slightly, her hands on the edge of the bartop.

"Yeah," he confirmed with a slight nod. "Seph went after Jenova," he said then, looking back to Kunsel. His old friend looked incredulous.

"Jenova?" he echoed. "Are you serious?"

His shock was understandable. While most SOLDIERs had heard of Jenova, she remained more a myth than anything else. Something that had been turned into an urban legend of sorts.

"Yeah. She was being kept at the reactor there," Zack revealed. "Seph found something in Nibelheim, some files or something. Something about him. He went mad. He thought Jenova was his mother and that they were supposed to rule the world together. I tried to stop him from getting to her but…" he trailed off as he thought back on that night, trying not to get swallowed up by the horrible details. "Well it didn't go so well," he said a little vaguely. "Cloud stopped him though."

"Cloud did?" Tifa spoke in what seemed to be surprise.

"Yeah. Guess he's a lot stronger than your shit town gave him credit for, huh?" Zack responded sharply. Tifa seemed a little bruised by the comment.

"I never doubted him" she asserted firmly. Zack shrugged as he pushed himself to continue.

"Anyway, we were both injured. Hojo found us in the reactor and took us to the mansion."

There was silence for a moment before Tifa dared to ask "Why?" getting back to Kunsel's original inquiry.

"To experiment on," Kunsel said in realization, before Zack could decide on how to answer. Tifa looked from Kunsel to Zack quickly. "He experimented on you." Kunsel said, as if clarifying it to himself. Zack didn't need to say anything to confirm it. All he needed to do was give a slight nod. "The rumours about the experimentation on SOLDIERs were true," Kunsel stated in shock. "They were always true." He thought about it before asking "Were there others there? Other SOLDIERs?"

"Not that I saw," Zack answered lowly, not sure if he should be sad about it or not. It would have been nice if there had been others there for Hojo to spend some of his time with. So that all the focus wouldn't have been only on him and Cloud. He felt awful for thinking that way. "But I'm sure there had been others," he said then. "This doctor who helped us get out mentioned something about items in a storage room belonging to other SOLDIERs."

"That's horrible," Tifa said, stating the obvious. Her face was pale and she hugged her arms across her chest as though she were cold. "Four years?" she asked quietly.

"No. For about two years we were sorta asleep," Zack explained. "Hojo had some business to do here in Midgar so he had us put in comas."

"Are you kidding? I worked with him during that time," Kunsel spoke in shock and what seemed to be disgust. "That son of a bitch was ranting about the great projects he was working on. All the success he was having, but just couldn't give out the details on it. All the while his project involved you?" His face visibly reddened as he was clearly getting upset.

Zack shook his head. "I dunno. I wouldn't consider Cloud and I any kind of _success_."

"When you say experimentation..." Tifa broke into the side-conversation. She shook her head, not sure what to make of what she had just heard.

"It started with mako injections," Zack revealed. "But there was later experimentation with drugs. And Jenova cells."

"Why?" Tifa asked.

Kunsel answered first. "Hojo was trying to create the super-SOLDIER."

"Maybe," Zack partially agreed. "But with Cloud, I think he may have been aiming a little higher."

Tifa looked at him with one eyebrow arching. "Meaning?" she questioned.

"I think he wanted to recreate Sephiroth."

"Impossible," Kunsel stated quickly.

"No shit. Wasn't going to stop him from trying," Zack retorted.

There was silence then as Kunsel and Tifa were taking in all they'd been told. Kunsel spoke after a moment.

"He was that obsessed...with Sephiroth...and science."

Zack looked at him, ready to refute but Tifa spoke, drawing his attention.

"Did you try to leave?" she asked. She seemed to know immediately that it was a stupid question but it didn't stop Zack from firing back at her.

"Did we try to leave?" he said fast, feeling his patience slipping away in an instant. "Yeah we tried to fucking leave. Every chance we got. Hojo locked us up down in the basement of that goddamn mansion and he punished us for trying to get away!" He was nearly shouting he was so heated with anger, thinking back on what he and Cloud had left behind. He felt as though he were being accused of something. "It was a goddamn endless fucking torture there!" he continued. His voice levelled then. "The things Hojo did—some of them...they weren't about science. He _wanted_ to torment us, to hurt us. We were toys to him."

There was a heavy silence blanketing the room then as Zack got up from the barstool he'd been sitting on and turned away, heading toward the nearby window.

"The problems Cloud's been having," Tifa spoke up, watching his back as he headed away. "They're because of the experiments?" she asked uneasily.

"Yeah," Zack muttered from the window where he was now peeking out into the dark street.

"I just can't believe it. That this monster could get away with something like that," she said then.

"No," Kunsel said. "He _can't _be allowed to get away with it. We have to do something," he suggested. Zack turned back to look at him.

"And what would you do?" he asked. He barely left Kunsel time to come up with anything before saying "There's nothing that can be done right now." It was clear Kunsel was about to argue. "I told you, no one can know about us right now," Zack stated firmly.

"Why?" Kunsel got out finally. "Zack, there are people that could help."

"What people?" Zack shot back at him. "Would these people be outside of Shinra?"

"There must be," Kunsel answered a little quietly.

"Oh, really?" Zack challenged. "Would they be able to fight Turks? 'Cause that's who's after us right now."

"The Turks?" Kunsel echoed. Zack nodded. "Which Turks?"

"Reno, Rude, and Tseng for sure."

"Tseng?" Kunsel said fast. "You sure?" he asked.

Zack laughed dryly. "You doubt it?"

"No," Kunsel replied tentatively. "I'm just...a little surprised."

"Why?" Zack questioned. "He always was the most loyal." Kunsel nodded a little in agreement.

"What now then?" Tifa spoke up. "You're going to hide forever?"

"Maybe," Zack said pointedly. "Right now, I just want Cloud well again. Frankly, hiding out seems like a pretty great idea. What'd I'd really like is for Cloud and I to disappear from Midgar all together and get as far away from Shinra as possible."

"What about us?" Tifa asked sharply.

"Who?" Zack said, though he wasn't really that stupid.

"Who?" Tifa repeated in what sounded like rising anger. "Me, your friend here," she motioned to Kunsel. "Aerith," she added and Zack rolled his eyes. "Are you just gonna take off out of our lives again?" she nearly shouted.

Zack turned his own anger back at her. "Would you really care?" he said back harshly. "I've heard from both of you that you were so _sure_ Cloud and I were alive all this time. That we couldn't _possibly _have died at that reactor in Nibelheim but did either of you try to figure out what really happened? Did you consider goddamn looking for us?"

"Zack—" Kunsel tried to break in but Zack continued.

"No, you didn't! And I don't think you get that if Hojo finds us again, he'll bring us back there and he won't ever let us have the chance to get away again!"

He was half-aware that he was on the verge of breaking down, the tears building up in his eyes fast. He turned away from Tifa and Kunsel again to gather himself. He walked away, heading for the back of the bar, pushing through the swing doors angrily and moving to the back door. He stepped outside into the warm night air, taking a deep breath and letting it out slow before sitting himself down on a stack of crates near the wall of the building.

It was a few minutes before the door next to him opened and Tifa stepped out. She didn't say anything at first, just stared up at the moon upon which Zack had fixed his own gaze.

"I..." Tifa began slowly, struggling with what she wanted to get out. "I...Zack, I—" She was having a difficult time.

"I'll never look at it the same again," Zack interrupted her. She looked from him back to the moon. "We went years without setting foot outside."

Tifa moved closer to him then, sitting herself down next to him on some of the other crates.

"I should have done more," she said then. "You're right. I should have tried harder to figure out the truth. I just...never thought something so horrible might be happening. I'm so sorry..."

Her voice quivered with her own emotions. Zack softened himself once more.

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said in there. There's nothing you would have been able to do."

There was a bit of silence between them before Tifa said "Did the experiments cause Cloud's memory loss?"

Zack exhaled forcefully. "Yeah, you could say that," he replied. It wasn't completely the truth. But the truth was crazy.

"So he doesn't remember what happened?" Tifa asked hopefully.

"He doesn't remember everything but...yeah...he remembers. It's about all he remembers. Everything before the reactor at this point is gone. How's that for messed up."

"You think he'll ever remember me again?" she asked then.

"I ah..." he looked at her. He could tell his answer would mean a lot to her. She would take it to heart. He didn't want to disappoint her. "Ya know, I think there's a part of him that does remember. But I uh, I think it's more important to create new memories," he advised with a bit of a forced and tight smile.

She groaned then, putting her face in her hands. "I just can't wrap my mind around this whole thing," she said.

"Don't try too hard. You'll hurt yourself," he joked and she smiled.

"You want me to stay with Cloud tonight? You could use some sleep," she offered.

"No. I'll hang with him. I wouldn't be able to sleep any other way," Zack said. "If you could check on him though, that'd be good. I'm just gonna talk to Kunsel for a little bit," he added.

"Sure," she said, getting up. She paused by the door. "Thank you,' she said and he looked up at her. "For explaining." He nodded and watched her go in before getting up and following after her. She was just heading upstairs when he passed by and went back out to the bar area. Kunsel was still sitting at the bar. Zack approached the bar from behind and grabbed himself a beer. He twisted the cap off and headed toward a nearby table.

"So...not a drinker _anymore_?" he said before pulling out a chair. Kunsel followed. He sat himself down across from Zack. "You weren't much of one to begin with," Zack pointed out.

"I picked it up a little while you were gone," Kunsel stated flatly.

"Why'd you stop?" Zack inquired next.

"I didn't like how it made me feel," his old friend revealed.

Zack asked his next question somewhat disinterestedly. "And how was that?"

"Like I was losing control."

Zack snorted. "Sucks doesn't it," he said bitterly.

Kunsel shook his head. "Man, he really must have terrorized you," he said gently. Zack stared back blankly. "You've changed a lot," Kunsel added. Zack just averted his eyes, taking a mouthful of beer. "You're wrong, you know," he said then and Zack raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "I tried to find you," his old friend announced. "I went to Nibelheim myself trying to uncover the truth. I even hired an investigator. Outside of Shinra."

Zack had to admit, he was surprised.

"And?" he asked.

"And nothing. This thing was airtight. There was nothing that suggested you were still alive."

Zack exhaled slowly. He looked down at the bottle in front of him. He began to peel the label off. "Wow," he said quietly. That's all he could really think to say. He didn't know if he should be thanking Kunsel or not. Or if he should apologize. It really wouldn't make much of a difference.

"Does Aerith know?" Kunsel asked after a minute of silence between them. Zack looked up from the bottle between his hands. "That you're...here?" Kunsel elaborated though it wasn't necessary. Zack had known what he was meaning.

"No" he answered simply, returning to his slow work at peeling the label from the bottle.

"Why not?" Kunsel questioned fast and said "Zack, you have to see her." The way it was said, Zack almost felt like he was being chastised. He'd already gone through this with Tifa so he was feeling a little less emotional about the situation. Rather, he had been numbing himself to it.

"I did see her, Kunsel," he countered. Kunsel's mouth fell open slightly, as though he were expecting a different response. He seemed about to say something but hesitated instead. Zack continued then. "She was hanging out with Tseng and she looked pretty content with it," he spoke sharply, sliding the empty bottle away from himself towards the centre of the table.

"What?" Kunsel said fairly fast. "No, Zack, they're friends," he claimed adamantly. "Nothing's changed between them since you've been gone," he added.

Zack looked back at him sceptically. "How would you know?" he challenged.

"Because Aerith and I are—we're…" Kunsel began to try and explain. He trailed off into silence and Zack stared back at him a moment before cluing in. His heart sank like a brick to an ocean floor.

"Oh," he said calmly, nodding slowly. He was trying hard not to let out the mass of emotion that was building in him at that moment. "I see. I was worried about the wrong guy," he stated before pushing his chair back from the table, motioning to get up.

"No!" Kunsel said fast. "That's not what I…" he tried again to explain the truth but the truth was already rearing its head. Zack wasn't dumb. "We're friends, that's it," he said pretty convincingly. But he only partially believed it himself.

"Friends?" Zack echoed as he stood by the table, looking down at him.

"Yes," he assured him. Then lowered his eyes as he thought about it some more. "I think," he added quietly after a moment.

"You think?"

He couldn't lie.

"I don't know!" Kunsel blurted, coming to a stand himself and looking Zack in the eyes with a kind of desperation. Like regret. "I think so," he repeated softly.

Zack's eyes narrowed slightly as he looked upon him. "You're sleeping with her," he stated, rather than questioned.

"No!" Kunsel answered quickly, but almost just as quick corrected himself. "Once," he admitted and put his hands to his face as Zack turned away in obvious anger and hurt. He reached out and grabbed hold of his shoulder. "God, Zack, it was nothing!" he rushed to remedy the situation. "It didn't mean anything!"

Zack looked back at him in shock and disgust. "Didn't mean anything to who?" he fired at Kunsel. "To you? Or to her?"

"To her!"

"But it meant something to you?"

"No, I—I don't know!" Kunsel said in clear confusion. He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It was a mistake. It was like a year after your…your death. And we knew immediately it shouldn't have happened. She said she loved you and she always would."

"Really?" Zack shot back. "Well that makes it okay then!"

"I'm sorry. Zack, god, you have no idea how much I hate myself for it," Kunsel claimed. "What I would do to take it back!" That statement seemed to mean little to Zack but still he tried to patch the wound he had just caused. "I was so screwed up at the time. Don't hate her for this, Zack, please. Hate me," he begged.

Zack stared back at him. "What makes you think I don't?" he said finally.

"I'm sorry," Kunsel said as he stepped toward Zack. "I'm so sorry." Zack retreated back from him, holding a hand up that told him to stop and shut up.

"You should go now," he said firmly, though his voice was still quivering with emotion. He couldn't deny that Kunsel looked utterly destroyed with regret. But at that point he could care less.

"Okay," he said in return, his voice coming out almost too soft to hear. He turned for the door but paused and turned back. "Is there anything I can do for you or Cloud? Anything?" he asked.

Without much thought, Zack said "Yeah. Keep your mouth shut."

Kunsel nodded dejectedly and then went for the door. His head was low as he stepped outside and left.

It was awhile before Zack left the bar area. He didn't cry, though he wanted to. He felt as though a load of wet sand had been piled on top of him. He felt sick. He wanted to be able to get away from his thoughts, his worries. When he and Cloud were in the mansion, he had lived on the belief that the world had waited for them. He knew it was unrealistic. And yet he was crushed. He felt betrayed. By both Kunsel _and _Aerith. He wanted so much to be able to go to the opposite end of the world and never come back.

He made his way upstairs instead, headed for the guest room. He lay himself down on the floor next to Cloud, resting on his side and facing his friend. As he watched Cloud tremble under the blanket covering him, he found memories of the Shinra Mansion creeping upon him. So many times had he found himself in the same position he was now, lying next to Cloud on the floor, with Cloud sick and shivering. There was something strangely comfortable about it. Those times at night trying to sleep on the cold floor were the only times when they weren't being bothered by Hojo or his staff.

Kunsel was right. He had changed. He wasn't going to get back that person he was before. But it didn't really seem to matter now. Knowing now what had gone on between Kunsel and Aerith, he felt that he had no one to really care about. That wasn't entirely true. He had Cloud. That's all that mattered. He needed Cloud well again. He couldn't lose him.


	15. Chapter 13

_Hey everyone! Got another chapter for you! Obviously...or you wouldn't be here haha! Anyway, I have to apologize for the fact that Cloud wasn't in much of the last chapter. I know a few of you are getting fed up with having him just lay around. I assure you he's going to be back in action very shortly. Next chapter for sure. He does have a pretty important role in this chapter though, even if he is still just lying around. I PROMISE he will be a more central character of upcoming chapters. So thank you for reading desipite the fact that he hasn't done much in the past few chapters ^^. The songs for the chapter are listed below. All songs but those by Sintellect are on the 'Featured' playlist of my YouTube page. For Sintellect you will need to go to the webpage listed next to the songs. And then select the song from the artists playlist. Sorry if it's such a pain in the ass. I really miss IMEEM lol. Alright, I'm done whining. Enjoy the chapter! _

Songs:

Caressing the Rain I – Sintellect (http:/www. thesixtyone. com/#/Sintellect/)

Forget About You – Cary Brothers

With Rainy Eyes – Emancipator

The Hand That Feeds – Nine Inch Nails

Caressing the Rain II – Sintellect (http:/www. thesixtyone. com/#/Sintellect/)

Drift – Forty Foot Echo

Falls Apart – Hurt

Medusa – Cinephile

Tracks – Sintellect (http:/www. thesixtyone. com/#/Sintellect/)

Chapter XIII

Tseng stood in Sector 1, staring at the phone booth in front of him. After weeks of monitoring Jacob Whymer's phone records, finally something had come up as unusual. An incoming call from a payphone in the Midgar slums. He suspected the call had come from Zack, though they couldn't be sure as there was no tap on Whymer's phone. There was also nothing about the phone itself that was going to tell Tseng where Zack had been hiding out but he needed a starting point.

Any ordinary person might assume that since Zack had made the call from Sector 1 that he must be staying somewhere nearby in the same sector. Tseng was smarter than that. He knew Zack was smarter than that. He also knew that Zack knew the Turks were onto him and Cloud. Naturally, Zack would want to pick a phone as far away from where he was staying as possible to throw the Turks off. But Zack was also smart enough to know they would anticipate his move.

For a moment, Tseng considered that Zack may be staying in Sector 4. But no, that would have been too obvious. This would require further investigation. He took his phone from his pocket and flipped it open, dialling Reno.

"Reno, I want you and Rude to go through Sectors Seven and Eight. See if you can pick up any traces of Fair or Strife," he ordered.

"Why there?" Reno questioned.

"I have a feeling," Tseng announced.

"Well there's a surprise," Reno replied sarcastically.

"Reno."

"I got it, boss, we're on it," Reno said then. Tseng hung up without another word. He sighed to himself. They should have found the boys by now. There was no excuse for why they hadn't. They were Turks. They could find anyone.

000

Zack woke with a start. He was sure he heard himself gasp as he came out of the dream he had just been imbedded in. He raised himself on his elbows swiftly, feeling an immediate strike of pain in his right shoulder from lying on it most of the night. He had to remind himself where he was. He'd been dreaming of the mansion again. Of the lab. Of being strapped to that cold slab of a steel table near the centre of the room. There had been screams in the air all around him, some of which were his own. Then, he was on that cliff just outside Midgar, spent from the fight he'd just been in. He faced three soldiers in front of him as their weapons went off and riddled his body with bullets. At that moment he'd woken up.

He ran his one hand over his chest slowly, pausing just over his sternum. He shouldn't have survived that fight on the cliff. He'd been prepared to forfeit his life, but Cloud had brought him back from the edge of darkness. When he'd woken up at Jacob's the following morning, he had noticed a heavy bruising on his chest, not associated with the impact from the bullets that had hit him. His conclusion then had been that Cloud had resuscitated him. But it was just his assumption. He had never questioned Cloud about it. He was ashamed to admit that for the first few days after he'd woken up, he was a little disappointed—angry even—that his friend had essentially brought him back to life. His feelings were different now, of course. He was disappointed in himself for having almost given up. Well not 'almost'. He _had _given up. It was something he felt the need to atone for.

He looked down at Cloud, lying next to him. He was curled up tightly, shivering under the blanket over him. Zack sat himself up and rubbed his shoulder a little before reaching over and placing the back of his hand against Cloud's left cheek. He was strangely cold.

Zack turned over so he could kneel. He pulled the blanket down Cloud's body gently. He looked over his friend briefly, his eyes stopping at Cloud's right hand. The skin beneath his fingernails was bluish-purple. Zack took his hand in his own. It was cold and clammy. Turning his arm slightly so he could see the bandaging around his ports, he could see that what blood had soaked through was dry and brown in colour. A part of his mind jumped at the thought that perhaps his ports had stopped bleeding. That his friend was improving. But he knew it was just the opposite. He was getting worse. He could see that Cloud's chest and back ports were still seeping. The blood on those bandages was fresh. His suspicions were that the blood flow to his limbs had become minimal. The flow instead was centred around his core. It was probably his body's way of conserving what blood he had left, but it could also mean his heart was weakening, not strong enough to pump out to all parts of his body. Zack was hit in the face once more with the realization that what was happening to Cloud could actually kill him.

He tried waking him then, which produced no results. He had an idea. Something that could help. He turned Cloud onto his back before reaching under his back with one arm, raising his upper body off the floor. Cloud was roused by the motion. He lifted his head weakly and it fell slightly in front of him before he attempted to lift it again.

"Spikey, hey," Zack spoke, shaking his shoulders gently. A short and quiet moan fell from his mouth. "Can you help me get you up, Spike?" Zack asked him.

"I..." Cloud began to reply at barely a whisper. "My-my legs are...I don't feel...I d-don't know..." he stuttered out barely audibly. What Zack got out of it was that he either couldn't feel his legs at all or he just couldn't move them.

"Okay, buddy," Zack said in acceptance before reaching his other hand under his friend's knees and pulling him closer to his body. He lifted Cloud from the floor slowly. He wasn't as easy to carry in this position, but he wasn't going to throw him over his shoulder at that point either. He headed for the bathroom.

"'m really cold," his friend mumbled as they exited the bedroom.

"I know, Spike," Zack said sympathetically. When he'd gotten to the bathroom, he set Cloud down inside the tub. His friend hissed in a breath as his exposed skin touched the cold surface below and around him. "Sorry, buddy," Zack said fast, not having thought about the fact that the tub would probably be freezing. Cloud didn't respond but his head rolled a little until his right cheek was resting against the edge next to him.

Zack reached for the faucet, turning on the hot water and holding his hand under the water until he started to feel it heating up. He turned the cold water on then, evening out the temperature to something just below hot. He didn't want to shock his friend's body too severely. When he sat back to let the faucet run, he was a little surprised to turn his head and see Cloud's eyes looking back at him. He smiled warmly at Cloud and reached to move some of his hair from his face.

"You need a haircut, kid," he said casually.

Cloud began to reply slowly then. "Was I...a good SOLDIER?" he asked quietly.

Cloud never was a SOLDIER. Well—he was a 'soldier' but not a SOLDIER. He had been in the militia. But as far as Cloud knew, he really was a SOLDIER. He had no memory to suggest otherwise and when he'd woken from his coma not long ago he'd been wearing a SOLDIER uniform. What else was he to conclude? Zack, of course, hadn't corrected him on that assumption.

"You were a great soldier," Zack said in return. It wasn't totally a lie. Cloud had been a great military soldier. But Cloud assumed he meant 'SOLDIER' and it seemed to satisfy him. His mouth formed into a mere ghost of a smile. It was a sad smile. Zack tried not to think about it. He looked down at the rising water level. "How does the water feel? Too warm?" he asked.

"No," his friend replied. "'s'good," he added.

"Good," Zack repeated. "I'm gonna give you some more of the old medications before I go out later," he explained then.

"Go out?" Cloud echoed.

"I have to talk to Jacob. He helped me out in finding a drug that may actually work in controlling your illness. I'll be picking it up tonight," Zack revealed.

"From Jacob?" Cloud questioned.

"No, from...somewhere else," Zack said vaguely. He really didn't want to say too much about it.

"I'm sorry," Cloud uttered then, his eyes lowering.

"What for?" Zack inquired fast.

"For being so useless," his friend said dejectedly. He moved his one arm a little under the water.

"Come on, shut up," Zack said as he leaned forward and shut off the faucet. "You aren't useless."

"I'm weak. It's pathetic," Cloud argued.

"Spike, stop," Zack ordered. Cloud was quiet then. "Give yourself a break. You've been through a lot."

"So have you," Cloud pointed out.

Zack shook his head. "It's not the same thing. I didn't go through the same things you did," he tried to explain, though it looked like Cloud was shutting him out at that point. "You were subjected to a hell of a lot of mako, buddy," he continued anyway. "More than any average person could take." Cloud's eyes were still downcast. "So much you were glowing, ya freak," Zack added then. He had meant it somewhat jokingly. But the scary part about it was that it was true. His body had been so saturated with mako at one point that it was showing through in his veins, as well as his fingers and toes. Indeed it had seemed a little like it was glowing.

Cloud looked at Zack sceptically. "Glowing?" he repeated doubtfully and Zack nodded. Cloud shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he said as a small smile came across his face.

There was the sound of floorboards creaking out in the hall then. Zack turned to look at the doorway just as Tifa appeared. She was in sweats and a t-shirt. She squinted a little against the light of the bathroom. She began to say something but stopped abruptly and turned around fast.

"I'm sorry!" she said in surprise. "I didn't know you were—" she went on but Zack stopped her.

"Still haven't become acquainted with the male body, huh?" he inquired jokingly.

"A while ago actually," she replied. "But I'm pretty sure Cloud doesn't want me seeing...that," she added.

"You saying he has something that's shame-worthy?" Zack questioned.

"No I—" she started fast but stopped. "I don't know, I—"

"Can we change the subject?" Cloud muttered from the tub.

"I-I'll go now," Tifa said and began to leave.

"He's got shorts on, Tifa," Zack called after her and she paused.

"Oh," she spoke and turned slowly.

"Yeah," Zack confirmed with a nod. "I'm not really in the habit of sitting with Cloud while he bathes naked in front of an open door."

Tifa shot him a look that told him to shut up. "Is everything okay?" she asked then, looking at Cloud briefly.

"Yeah, fine," Zack said before turning to Cloud. "Be right back," he assured him before getting to his feet. Tifa moved into the hall and he followed her out.

"What happened?" she asked quietly when they were outside the bathroom.

"He got worse over the past few hours," Zack revealed.

"Worse? How?" she said in slight shock.

"I think he's either at the point where he's losing blood faster than his body can replace, or...his heart's failing," Zack explained tentatively.

"You think his heart could be _failing_?" she said swiftly.

"It's possible," Zack said, nodding. "Especially since it's happened before."

She looked back at him in confusion. "When?" she asked.

"At...the mansion," he replied, shaking his head. "Anyway, I woke up to find him with little circulation in his extremities," he continued. The ports in his arms aren't even bleeding right now."

"Isn't that good? That they aren't bleeding?" she inquired.

"At this point, not really. I'd feel better if they were." He glanced into the bathroom to make sure Cloud was still alright. "I'm going to give him another dose of the old medications and then I have to go find a phone to talk to Jacob about possibly having Cloud's ports removed.

"So, he can do that?" she asked hopefully.

"Well, he needs to see them first."

"You're going to bring the doctor here?" Tifa questioned,

"No, I want to be smart about this, I don't want him knowing where we've been staying," Zack said, shaking his head. "Hopefully I can just bring Cloud to his office," he added. "Anyway, the first priority is the drugs. I gotta go pick them up tonight."

"Yeah...about that," Tifa said in the tone Zack was learning meant she wasn't impressed. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out you went to a dealer, ya know, so refusing to say that's how you're getting them is rather pointless."

Zack looked back at her and then smirked. "Well since you know everything, telling you would have been rather pointless as well," he countered.

Tifa groaned in frustration. "What are you thinking, Zack? You're getting involved with a _drug dealer_!" she pointed out as if he wasn't already aware.

"It's the only way to get the drugs, Tifa!" Zack fired back at her.

She looked away then. "How much is this gonna cost you?"

"Doesn't matter," Zack said, crossing his arms.

"Zack—" she began.

"Tifa," he cut her off.

"God," she said in exasperation, throwing her hands up. "It's too early for this. Just, if you need help paying, let me know. Please. Don't take this all on yourself."

Zack exhaled forcefully. "Yeah," he said in acceptance. "Alright." He dropped his hands then turned for the bathroom, stopping and turning back. "What time is it anyway?" he asked.

"Six-thirty," she replied tiredly.

"Alright. I'm gonna fix Cloud up before I leave to go find a phone. We'll see if maybe he can eat something too. Are you going to be able to keep an eye on him while I'm out?"

"Of course."

"'Kay, you should go back to sleep for a few hours, you look like you could use it," Zack suggested then.

Tifa waved him off. "Thanks, I'm fine," she replied.

"Really? Oh, I thought maybe you didn't start looking good until after nine," he commented.

She pushed past him roughly in response, her shoulder hitting his as she headed back to her room.

Zack returned to the bathroom and sat himself back down on the floor next to the tub. He thought at first Cloud was asleep. His eyes were closed and he actually looked rather peaceful. But after a moment he opened his eyes and looked as Zack.

"Thought you were sleeping for a moment there, buddy," Zack admitted.

"I don't want to," Cloud uttered quietly.

"Don't want to..." Zack repeated in a bit of a questioning tone.

"Sleep. Can't have nightmares when you're awake," Cloud explained. That wasn't entirely true. They'd lived a nightmare for four years.

Zack nodded. "I know how you feel," he said anyway.

"I know," Cloud replied then. "You were crying last night. In your sleep."

Zack was a little surprised and embarrassed. "Really?" he questioned and Cloud nodded slightly. He laughed lightly then. "I think you were imagining it, Spikey," he said without looking at him.

"Did something...happen?" Cloud asked. Zack wasn't entirely sure what he was meaning. "Last night. You were gone..." his friend elaborated.

Zack shook his head in response. "No, Spike, everything's fine," he lied. Everything was not fine. But it was nothing he wanted to put on Cloud at the moment. Cloud looked back at him with a doubtful expression.

"Sure," he said and averted his eyes slightly. Zack smiled grimly, though Cloud didn't see it.

Zack let him sit in the tub for another few minutes before getting him out and bringing him back to the bedroom. He got him dry and resettled on the floor before giving him some medication and re-wrapping his bandaging. The warm water seemed to have helped get his circulation going a little stronger. The ports in arms weren't bleeding but the colour was returning to his fingertips. He tried to get Cloud to accept some breakfast but all he would take was water. He didn't stay awake long after that, slipping back into sleep before Zack had left to go find a phone.

He headed up towards Sector 2. He didn't want to pick a phone in the same sector as before. He scouted out a booth in Sector 2 and made sure it looked safe before approaching. It was in a more populated area than the phone he'd chosen before so he wanted to make sure there were no cameras on any of the buildings. It seemed unlikely that there would be. Buildings in the slums weren't typically that decked out with technology.

Jacob didn't answer this time when he called the man's house. His daughter picked up first.

"Hi," Zack spoke awkwardly. "Is your dad around?" he asked.

"Who is this?" she questioned in response.

"It's...uh...can I just talk to your dad?" He thought he could hear Jacob in the background then.

"Hello," the man's voice spoke through the receiver.

"Is it the convict?" Zack heard Jacob's daughter say.

"Zack?" Jacob questioned and Zack finally replied.

"Yeah," he answered. "I was able to get that drug your friend mentioned."

"That's good news," Jacob replied.

"Yeah," Zack agreed. "Any idea how much I should be giving to...to Cloud?" he hesitated on using his friend's name.

"Lars said about thirty millilitres twice a day. Though he can probably get less after a week or so," Jacob said.

"Alright," Zack sighed. "Uh, I'd like him to see Cloud," he added then. "To see if he can do something for him. To maybe remove those ports from him."

"Of course," Jacob agreed, then continued. "But Zack, there's something I think you need to be aware of," he said.

Zack was hesitant on replying. Whatever was coming, it didn't sound good. "What's that?"

"The Turks have been watching my house since you left," Jacob announced.

Zack grew cold at that statement. "You're sure about that?" he asked lowly.

"I am," Jacob confirmed. "I assume they're expecting we'll be meeting up again. I realize now that the house was already under surveillance when Lars was here to treat your friend the first time. I wouldn't think it a stretch that the Turks would be watching him as well."

Zack let himself fall back against the side of the booth. "Great," he muttered.

"May I offer a suggestion?" Jacob asked.

"Go for it," Zack said dejectedly.

"Have him meet you someplace that wouldn't seem as suspicious. No doubt the Turks would notice if you brought Cloud to his office."

"No doubt," Zack agreed. He thought for a moment, looking out at the market nearby. "Alright, uh, your friend wouldn't happen to drink would he?" he inquired at last.

"I believe he does."

"Has he ever gone to a place in the slums before?" was Zack's next question.

"That I'm not sure about," Jacob admitted.

"Well I guess he does now. You think he'd be free tomorrow night?"

"After five, yes."

"Tell me again I can trust you," Zack said then.

"I promise, you can trust me. And Lars," Jacob assured him.

"Okay," Zack said in acceptance. "Tell him to come down to the _Seventh Heaven _bar in Sector Seven of the slums," Zack instructed. "And...I really appreciate this, Jacob. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble."

"It's no trouble. We're both happy to help, Zack. I don't know what happened to you both but I don't doubt it was Shinra that did it to you. And whatever it was, you didn't deserve it."

"Thanks," Zack said gratefully.

"You're welcome. Let me know if there's anything else I can do."

"Will do," Zack agreed.

"Bye for now."

"Take care." Zack hung up the phone slowly and stepped out of the phone booth. As he did he found himself looking directly at a suited figure across the street. It was a Turk. A young Turk. He didn't recognize him but he could tell what he was. The Turk was looking back at him. There was no way he hadn't seen him. At precisely the same time, both Zack and the Turk broke into a run. Zack headed for the nearest buildings, cutting between them as the Turk was running across the street after him. Zack realized immediately that he was going to have a bit of a tough time losing the kid. He was more fit than many of his coworkers, on account of being newer. He was on Zack's heels fast.

"Hey!" Zack heard him call. "Stop! Zack Fair!" he shouted. Zack felt his heart skip as his name was called. He picked up his pace as he rounded a corner. Ahead of him was a dead end but it wasn't going to stop him as he raced toward it. He jumped from the ground onto a dumpster at the end wall and leapt over without breaking his momentum. He hit the ground on his feet and stumbled a little. He fought to keep himself from falling to his knees though he touched the ground with his one hand and then propelled himself forward again. He heard the sound of the kid's feet on the dumpster and then the thud as he hit the ground after him.

"Stop!" he heard him call out again. Zack turned back only for a second to see how far the Turk was behind him before rounding another corner onto the street. He was a little surprised to find the kid so close behind. There was fit, and then there was just damn fast. Fast enough that he could keep up with someone who was mako-enhanced. "Zack, wait!" the Turk shouted as they entered a park. There were some kids playing on the run-down equipment. They stopped what they were doing to watch, some of them even attempted to run along.

A moment later, they were out of the park and back onto the street. Zack headed for another alley. Just as he entered, a door opened in the side of one of the buildings and he nearly ran into it. He was forced to come to a near stop to avoid it, turning sideways to get around it. It was too much of a slow-down. He just made past the door before he was tackled from behind. He hit the pavement on his knees and elbows and went immediately into fight mode. He turned and grabbed the kid, pulling him to the ground roughly before attempting to get to his feet and run. Two hands clutched his leg and pulled him back to the ground before the same hands were pulling him up and pushing him toward the nearby wall. It was a battle of strength now, which Zack knew he was going to win eventually. It was only one-on-one after all.

The Turk sounded like he was about to say something but his words were cut off in his throat as Zack threw his elbow back into the kid's abdomen. He turned fast then and laid a hit on the side of his face that had him stumbling back into the opposite wall of the alley. He reached for something but Zack stopped him, grabbing his arm before kicking his legs out from under him. He hit the ground on his back with a hard thud, knocking the air from his lungs. Before he had a chance to get up, Zack was gone.

The Turk lay on the ground a moment trying to catch his breath. He reached into his pocket then and pulled out his phone. He dialled before attempting to sit up.

"Tseng," his boss answered.

"It's Dominic," he panted into the receiver.

"Something wrong?" Tseng questioned.

"No, I...I just saw Zack Fair," he revealed before taking in a deep breath. He dabbed at the new cut on his cheek.

"Where?" his boss inquired swiftly.

"Sector Two," Dominic replied. "At a phone booth. He just kicked my ass and took off," he added. "Should I let Reno and Rude know?" he asked. There was a bit of silence on the other end of the line before Tseng answered.

"No. I still want Sectors Seven and Eight searched. Zack isn't staying in Sector 2. Did you see where he headed?"

"No, sir," Dominic said as he exited the alley the way he'd seen Zack go. There was nothing but empty street ahead of him.

"Fine, come back to headquarters," Tseng ordered.

"Yes, sir," Dominic said with a nod. When his boss hung up, he pocketed his phone. He touched his now swelling cheek and cursed softly before heading back to the headquarters as ordered.

000

"What the hell happened to you?" Tifa asked when Zack returned to the bar. There were bloody rips in his pants at the knees.

"Nothing," Zack said sharply. He wasn't really in the mood to talk to her right now. He aimed to head to the back so he could go upstairs but she stopped him, grabbing his one arm.

"What the hell, Zack?" she exclaimed as she looked at the drying and sticky blood on his elbow and part of his forearm where it had ran down with gravity.

"I'm fine," he said firmly and pulled his arm away from her.

"Well I don't really care, I just don't want you bleeding on my bar," she replied fast.

"Ha ha," he responded flatly and went to push past her.

"Hang on," she said, stopping him. "Sit down, I'll get the first aid kit from the back."

"I don't need first aid, I need to change my pants," he said in return.

"Just sit down," she ordered before disappearing into the back. He exhaled in frustration before sitting himself down on a chair at the nearest table. Tifa returned a moment later. "Let's see," she said, motioning to his knees. He rolled up his pant legs slowly. "What happened?" she repeated her earlier inquiry.

"I fell," he said simply.

"Oh yeah? 'Cause you're such a klutz?" Tifa asked sceptically, tearing open the packaging of an antiseptic wipe.

"Fine, it was a Turk," he revealed. Just then she pressed the wipe against his left knee.

"Ow!" he exclaimed fast and slid himself back from her.

"What?" she blurted loudly.

"Will you friggin' warn me first!" he shot back at her. He tried to snatch the wipe away from her but she pulled back out of his reach.

"First," she said, "Don't be a damn baby. Second, a _Turk_? Where?"

"Sector Two. I lost him, don't worry about it."

"Well I gathered as much. But he still caught you first, right?" she inquired before reaching to apply the wipe to his leg again. He grabbed her wrist before she could touch him and took the wipe out of her hand.

"Yes, if you must know," he replied and then dabbed gently at his knee with the antiseptic. "He was a fast son of a bitch, I'll give 'im that."

"What if he followed you back here?" she asked before pulling out a chair to sit across from him.

"Well I left him lying on the ground so I doubt he got up fast enough to see where I was headed," he explained.

There was a brief moment of silence before Tifa said "They really are after you."

He glanced up at her. "Uh, yeah. Did you think I was lying?" he asked as he started cleaning the blood off his right knee.

"No, I just..." Tifa began but hesitated. He looked her way once more. "I dunno. I'm just...getting used to the idea."

"Yeah, well...better get used to it soon." He took a bandaid from the kit on the table and pulled the back stickers off it before applying it to his one knee. "Turks have a way of finding people. We aren't going to be able to stay here forever."

"Well I can tell you now that I've never had Turks in this bar, so I think you're fairly safe here."

"Oh yeah? Well that might change soon", Zack said before hissing a little in response to the new wipe he pressed against his one elbow.

"Why?" Tifa asked.

"That doctor I mentioned before. The one who may be able to help Cloud," he clarified and Tifa nodded. "He's gonna be coming here tomorrow."

"What does that have to do with the Turks?" Tifa inquired in confusion, shaking her head.

"Well, they may be following him," Zack revealed.

"What?" Tifa said fast, coming to a stand. "No way, Zack!"

"What do you mean 'no way'?" he questioned as he looked up at her. "There isn't really a choice here, Tifa," he pointed out.

"Sure there is! You could have him see Cloud anywhere. Why here?"

"Well because Cloud's here first of all. Secondly, I need a place for the doctor to come that won't look suspicious to the Turks if they are following him."

She was silent a moment as she looked at him in shock. She shook her head then.

"No. I'm sorry, no," she said firmly.

Zack got to his feet then. "I'm not really asking here, Tifa," he said sternly.

"Oh, you're telling is that it?" she challenged. Zack was at a loss for words for a second.

"You got a good reason why the doctor shouldn't be coming here, Tifa? Besides you just not wanting him to? I don't want to have the Turks this close to us either but this is the _best _option. Cloud _needs _this! Doesn't that matter to you?" he fired at her angrily.

"Of course it matters! But, Zack, my _life _could be in danger if the Turks decide they suddenly have a reason to search the place. And not just my life," she explained ominously.

Zack looked back at her in confusion.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

"I—" she stopped herself and turned away, putting her hands to her head.

"Tifa, what?" he pressed her, moving toward her. He took her arm and pulled her back around to face him. "What?" he repeated.

She said something. One word. He wasn't sure he heard it right. "What?" he asked again.

"AVALANCHE," she repeated herself a little louder.

"The...terrorist group?" Zack said slowly.

"If that's what you want to call it," Tifa replied.

"What about AVALANCHE?" Zack asked.

"You're standing in its headquarters," Tifa revealed at last. Zack looked around briefly. He released a short laugh. He grew serious then after a moment.

"You're not kidding?" he asked.

"Nope," she confirmed.

"AVALANCHE," he repeated. "The ruthless, murderous—"

"No, it's not like that. It's different now," Tifa said fast.

"Different."

"Not one of the original members remains. We have different goals," she tried to explain.

"We? You're one of them?" Zack said in surprise.

"Well yeah. It's being run out of my bar," she confirmed.

"Oh my god," Zack uttered as he sat back down.

"What we try to do now—" she began to try and explain but Zack stopped her.

"It's cool, I don't need to know," he said definitively.

"You understand then, why I can't have Turks near this place?"

"Yeah." Zack nodded. "And do you understand why there's no other option?" Before she could answer he continued. "What's more important to you?" he asked.

There was silence between them for what seemed forever before Tifa exhaled long and hard and finally said "Alright."

"Thanks," Zack said.

"It's fine. But Zack," she said, getting his attention back as he'd turned away from her. "Don't question me again about my feelings for Cloud. You know how I feel about him. I wouldn't question you."

He nodded in understanding.

The afternoon hours dragged on slowly as Zack waited for the evening to roll around so he could go back to the plate and pick up the drugs he'd 'ordered.' He'd been keeping an eye on Cloud, trying to make sure he stayed warm but that his head stayed cool at the same time.

Cloud had been dreaming that afternoon. When he wasn't dreaming he was moving around. It was actually difficult keeping him in one position where he could throw up safely if he had too. At times it actually sounded like he was trying to talk to someone. Zack couldn't help but wonder what it was that was getting such a vocal and physical response from him.

They were more than dreams to Cloud. He was being dragged into a crevice of darkness filled with what he assumed were remnants of memories. They were all painful. All confusing and terrifying. There were faces of people he must have known but couldn't remember. Voices he knew he'd heard before but couldn't place.

He was standing on the edge of a precipice, vast and deep. He couldn't see the bottom. The air around him was dark and tinted green. It was stifling hot and whipping around him like a windstorm, picking up dust and throwing it into his face. The sound of thunder crashed nearby as the sky above thickened with black clouds. He was standing on the edge of Hell. That's what the feeling in the pit of his stomach was telling him.

"Hello!" he called out as he tried to shield his eyes from the sand-filled wind. He turned away from the edge in front of him to see the fuzzy outline of a figure coming toward him. "Who are you?" he shouted to the approaching figure. There was no reply. The figure seemed to change position. Suddenly, it was charging. Cloud was frozen in place as he watched the dust part and could see a silver-haired man running at him. He was holding a sword and was aiming it out ahead of him for a strike. It took only a split second before Cloud felt the cold metal of the sword slice through his chest. His mouth filled with blood before he had a chance to cry out, the pain nearly paralyzing him.

The man spoke then, uttering in a smooth and icy tone, "_You're Mine_."

Cloud tore out of his sleep only to be met with the immediate sensation of choking. His chest felt crushed and almost immediately he felt the urge to cough come upon him. Something was rising up fast from his chest as he began to sputter. He raised himself onto his elbows as his mouth filled with blood. He couldn't hold back from releasing it. He coughed and the first mouthful hit the plastic below him and splattered, dots of it flying back up at him. He extended one arm out, reaching for the trashcan that seemed just a bit too far away, all the while his chest was still heaving and his lungs lurching in the need to clear themselves. A voice was still speaking to him. It wasn't the same voice as in his dream. He couldn't make out the words.

Zack heard him from the bathroom where he'd been brushing his teeth. He set his toothbrush down, spitting hastily before rushing back to the bedroom. He saw Cloud struggling to bring himself onto his hands and knees. His breathing was erratic, yet shallow sounding. He could see a small puddle of blood on the plastic below his friend.

Zack lowered himself to the floor in front of Cloud. He placed a hand on Cloud's back and rubbed gently.

"Calm down, buddy," he urged, seeing the panic in his face as he struggled to breathe. "Slow it down. Breathe in and hold it," he ordered. After a moment, Cloud did as instructed. He took in a breath and held it, looking up at Zack with eyes about to overflow with tears. "Alright," Zack said after a few seconds. "Let it out slow, buddy." Cloud complied shakily. His expression became a pained one as he broke into tears then, bringing his breathing back into the realm of laboured. Zack took hold of him, hugging him close.

"It hurts," Cloud cried against his shoulder.

"I know, Spikey," Zack said. "God, I know," he whispered, more to himself as he squeezed his friend a little tighter. "Just hang on, alright, Spike. Just a few more hours," he urged.

"Zack," Cloud squeaked out in response. "I'm going crazy," he claimed oddly.

"What do you mean?" Zack inquired.

"I'm hearing voices," Cloud whispered, almost fearfully.

"Voices?" Zack echoed, his stomach sinking. He knew what his friend was about to say.

"A wo-woman," Cloud stuttered as he struggled to take in a steady breath. "She's been whispering to me."

Zack knew it. Jenova. He must have been hearing Jenova. The idea still seemed absurd to him and he had witnessed her control over Cloud at the mansion. As far as he knew, Cloud hadn't yet remembered Jenova. He wanted to keep it that way.

"You're not crazy," Zack said reassuringly. "It's just...the mako sickness, Spike. It'll be all over soon."

He couldn't think of anything else to say. He was scared. Scared that even once he'd gotten the drugs to treat Cloud that Jenova was going to keep talking to him. That she would somehow be able to control him again. There was nothing he could do to get rid of her. Her cells were in Cloud's body. In both their bodies. But he hadn't heard from her the way Cloud had described. For some reason, she either had no power over him, or she didn't care to.

But there would be time to worry about all of that later. For now, he needed to focus on the most immediate problem. He had hours to wait before going back to the plate to pick up the drugs for Cloud. He needed to go to the apartment first to get the money he'd been saving up from working in the repair shop. That was yet another problem he'd have to worry about later. He was supposed to be back in the repair shop the following morning. He couldn't afford not to be. He was going to need the job to pay for the medications he would need to keep buying.

Cloud didn't do so well the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. He developed another fiery fever and by the time Zack was getting ready to leave, he was vomiting and coughing up blood simultaneously. It was incredibly hard for him to walk out the door and leave his friend. He had to trust he would survive another few hours and that Tifa would be able to take care of him.

He raced to the apartment where he retrieved a large portion of the cash he'd stashed there. The wait at the train station afterwards seemed to last forever, though it was almost exactly ten o'clock when he reached Scorch's club.

He pounded on the back door of the club and waited, wondering if he was going to be heard over the music inside. After a moment the door opened and he was motioned in by once of Scorch's employees. He was directed downstairs where he'd met Scorch the night before. If Scorch and his men hadn't changed clothing, it would have seemed they'd remained in their exact positions from the night before. One person was missing. The woman who'd been sitting beside Scorch.

"Welcome back," Scorch greeted Zack as he entered the room. "You're here right on time," he stated.

"You got what I asked for?" Zack questioned, skipping over the small talk. Scorch smirked.

"You got your cash with you?" he inquired in return.

Zack took the roll of bills from his pocket and passed it off to the nearest guy next to him, knowing he wouldn't be permitted to give it directly to Scorch. The man passed the money down to his boss. Scorch removed the rubber band holding the bundle together and let the bills open. He flipped through them briefly.

"You brought more than I expected," he remarked. He nodded at one of his men standing near the table at the one wall. The man lifted a metal case onto the table and opened it. He turned then and moved toward Zack. He reached out a hand and Zack took what was in it. Two small clear bottles of liquid. "That's a hundred mils together," Scorch said. Zack was shocked. A hundred millilitres looked so much less than he'd imagined. Looking at it, and knowing now approximately how much he would be giving to Cloud dosage-wise, he knew he was going to have to come back for more pretty fast.

"Feel free to come back for more if you feel the need," Scorch said then. Zack looked at him briefly before pocketing the bottles.

"Yeah," he said somewhat lowly before heading for the door. He was fairly eager to get the medicine back to Cloud.

He almost wanted to break into a run when he got outside. But he was afraid that if he did so, he'd run into one of the many people on the streets around him or trip like an idiot and destroy the glass bottles he had shoved into his pockets.

He'd had a strange feeling from the moment he left the bar. He felt like he was being followed. He didn't think much about it until he got off the train in the slums. He knew for sure then. But it wasn't a Turk following him. He could tell that much. He wasn't sure who it was but he decided to lead them around briefly.

Her name was Rayna. She'd been walking behind him discretely since he'd left the club on the plate. She hadn't lost him once. Not until now. Her target had looked back just shortly after leaving the station in the slums and she had stepped between two buildings to keep from being noticed. When she left the narrow passageway, the target was gone. She suspected he must have entered an alley at the end of the road. She moved toward it swiftly, reaching the corner of the alley and pausing before rounding it. She stopped suddenly as she found the alley before her empty.

Looking back briefly, she then hurried to the end of the alley and looked out into the street at the end. Nothing. She was shocked. She didn't think she'd been that far behind her target. She took a step back before turning around and gasped as she found she wasn't alone. Her target had bested her.

"You know," Zack started, moving in close to her. He recognized her as the woman from the club who'd been sitting next to Scorch the night before. "I thought it was kinda cute at first, you following me. But now I'm truly curious about what the hell it is you think you're doing."

He had her basically cornered, her back to the one wall. She turned to the left and he lifted an arm to stop her, his palm landing on the wall hard. She looked up at him fast.

"Talk," he ordered firmly.

"I was sent out to follow you," she said then, speaking in a tone that suggested she was trying not to sound intimidated.

"Yeah, I gathered as much. Why?" Zack questioned a little more impatiently.

"You're a SOLDIER aren't you?" Rayna asked in response.

"What?" Zack said back forcefully.

"Scorch sent me to find out what a SOLDIER wants with that drug when you can get it through Shinra," she explained sharply. Zack stared down at her.

"That's it?" he said and she nodded. He took his hand off the wall and stepped back. "Why'd he send you?" he asked.

"I guess he figures I'm pretty good at moving undetected," she replied confidently.

"You're not that good," Zack argued.

"Well I'm not normally following a SOLDIER," she countered.

"I'm not a SOLDIER," he said fast. She laughed lightly in response.

"Nice one," she commented. "But it's pretty obvious."

"I was a SOLDIER," he clarified. "Not anymore."

He was met with sceptical look.

"What does Scorch care anyway?" Zack inquired then.

"He likes to know his clients," she explained.

"Really? Sounds more like he wants information he could use against a 'client' if he wanted to," Zack pointed out.

She shrugged. "It's just business."

"Whatever," Zack said. "I don't want you following me. I got what I needed from your boss, or whatever he is to you. I paid. So back off."

He said it softer than he was meaning to, making him wonder if he sounded as serious as he really was. He found it hard to threaten a girl.

She held her hands up briefly and smiled. "Sure thing, _ex_-SOLDIER boy," she said as she moved past him. She looked back once as she was heading back down the alley from where she'd come. He watched her until she disappeared. A brief thought went through his mind then. She was attractive. He didn't think he could notice such things anymore.

He noticed.

He made his way to the bar quickly then, making sure he wasn't still being followed. It was dark in the bar but the moment he entered he could hear Cloud. The sounds his friend was making were ones he was familiar with. They were sounds of pain.

Zack rushed the stairs. He had one of the bottles of medicine half way out of his pocket when he reached the top and headed toward the spare room where Cloud was. The door to the room was partly closed but it was pulled open quickly and Tifa was in the doorway. She was visibly upset and her clothes were smeared with blood in several places. She burst into tears when she approached Zack. She pushed past him fast.

"Teef," he said quickly, turning after her.

"Just help him!" she called without looking back at him. She disappeared into her room.

Zack made his way into the spare room then. Cloud was on his side, writhing against the floor below him. He was digging his fingers into the wood of the floor so hard he was tearing his fingernails from his fingers. There was blood all over him, likely from his movements as he rolled in place. Actions that were reminiscent of those days he spent in the containment tube in Hojo's lab when he was being subjected to the very mako procedure that had caused his current problems.

Zack took his one wrist and pulled back his hand from the floor that he was digging his nails into. He was amazed at the strength Cloud put forth in resisting. A groan of partial protest floated out from between his clenched teeth. He thrashed then, throwing his arm out. Zack was hit in the chest. It didn't hurt but he was a little surprised when Cloud's hand closed on his shirt tightly. Zack tried to pull his hand back but Cloud's grip seemed iron-clad.

"Let go, Spike," Zack urged but Cloud only pulled back with his shirt still in his hand, yanking him forward with surprising force. His friend's eyes opened a little then. It wasn't much but Zack could see clearly how vividly green they were. He stared back at them breathlessly, his pulse pounding in his ears as he felt a spark of fear ignite within him. "Jenova," he uttered aloud, though he hadn't meant to. The name had an instant effect on Cloud. He groaned loudly once more before words began to fall from his mouth. Zack couldn't tell what he was saying. He realized quite fast that he couldn't tell because the words Cloud was saying weren't English.

Zack attempted again to pull out of Cloud's hold. He used his other hand to retrieve the medicine bottle he'd been trying to get out of his pocket before. Just as he'd gotten the bottle out and into the open air, Cloud's other hand shot out and knocked it away. The bottle fell from his hand and rolled across the floor. Zack motioned to go after it but Cloud's ever-present hold on his shirt held him back. Before he could make another attempt to release himself, his friend's other hand clamped around his neck. He grabbed for Cloud's hand with his own.

It didn't hit him right away that he should be worried by Cloud's actions but he became aware pretty quickly that he could be in more trouble than he thought. His friend was incredibly strong right now and he was feeling it in his neck as he struggled to breathe. He dug his fingers under Cloud's, scraping away his own skin as he tried to get space between his neck and his friend's vice-grip.

"Sp-Spike—" he rasped out, looking at Cloud and trying to see if there was a part of him that was listening at all. His eyes were so green they may have been glowing. Mysterious words were still seeping from his mouth like a chant. Zack realized then that he needed to put forth a hell of a lot more effort to get himself free of him or he may actually be in trouble soon. He didn't want to hurt Cloud, but he wasn't going to have much of a choice.

He placed a hand on Cloud's chest and grabbed Cloud's one arm with his other hand. He twisted his arm fast and hard by the wrist and pushed him forward. Cloud cried out and let go of his shirt by was still holding onto his neck. Zack grabbed his arm at the elbow and dug his fingers into the pressure points he knew were there. At the same time, he grabbed for Cloud's pinky and ring fingers and pulled back fast, aiming for pain, and not to break them. The moment his friend's grip slackened, he grabbed his hand and turned him over fast. Cloud's shoulders fell back against his lap as he held onto both his arms, and kept them pinned to his body. His friend's back arched as he groaned loudly and continued to mutter unintelligible words.

"Tifa!" Zack shouted out and waited for the sound of Tifa's approaching footsteps. She came quickly though she seemed tentative as she entered the room. She looked their way in surprise. "Get the medicine bottle over by the night table!" he ordered as he tried to keep hold of Cloud while he writhed and struggled in his grip. "You gotta give him the shot for me!" he announced as Tifa stepped past him to get the bottle.

"What?" she said fast.

"Don't think! Just do what I ask!" he shouted in frustration.

She went for the syringe on the night stand that Zack had left earlier. "How much?" she asked when she'd thrust the needle into the rubber top of the bottle.

"Thirty mils," Zack replied. He grunted as Cloud's elbow hit him in the ribs.

"What's he saying?" Tifa questioned as she filled the syringe.

"I—I dunno, hurry up!" he commanded. She pulled the syringe from the bottle. "You know what to do?" he asked. She nodded as she tapped the instrument and applied a little pressure to the pump to release a bit of the liquid. She hesitated then.

"Where am I—" she began to question.

"Just—in the upper arm," Zack replied. He was straining his muscles to keep Cloud's arms under his control. He couldn't believe how strong he was right now.

"I—" Tifa started to say something as she was holding the tip of the needle just above Cloud's skin.

"Don't worry about doing it right or wrong," Zack spoke fast. "Just do it!" She nodded and pushed the needle into the skin of Cloud's arm, just under his right shoulder. He tried to move away from it but Tifa injected the liquid fast and retracted the syringe.

Zack wasn't sure what to expect then. A part of him had expected his friend to grow weak almost immediately and stop struggling. But he fought another few moments before his limbs seemed to go limp. After a minute, he stopped speaking, the strange words dying in his throat. Zack loosened his grip slowly but didn't let him go completely. His friend was still groaning in pain and arching against him slightly. He broke into some soft, half-conscious sobs as Zack rocked him a little.

"Good job, Teef," Zack said quietly, glancing up at her. She set the syringe down tentatively on the nightstand again. Zack looked back at Cloud. He used a hand to pry open his one eye gently. The green was dimming. His friend was still crying. "It's okay, buddy," Zack whispered.

"Do you think it's working?" Tifa asked.

"It's doing something," Zack answered her flatly. Cloud was growing heavier in his grasp as he seemed to be relaxing. His sobbing died down to a slight whimper between his pained groans. Zack released him slowly before bringing himself to a stand. "Goddamn, he's a mess," he muttered as he looked down at his now bloodied clothing. He touched his neck tentatively.

"Are you...is that yours?" Tifa asked as she looked at the bit of blood on his neck.

"Yeah," Zack admitted dully as he dabbed at it. He'd done it to himself as he'd tried to keep Cloud from choking him. "He didn't hurt you earlier, did he?" he asked and she frowned.

"No," she answered uneasily. "Wait, Cloud did that to you?" she asked as she motioned to his neck.

"It was me really. He didn't know what he was doing," Zack rationalized.

"Well of course not," Tifa replied. "He wouldn't hurt you on purpose," she added.

"No," Zack agreed. "Everything's fine now. I got him for the night," he said. "You can go get some sleep now," he added.

Tifa nodded slightly before heading for the door. She paused and turned back. "If you need anything..." she said and he smiled tightly.

"Yeah, thanks," he said and watched her leave. He looked back down at Cloud, touching his neck gently once more. "Yeah..." he muttered once more.

_He didn't mean it,_ he told himself once more. _But _Jenova_ did._


	16. Chapter 14

_Hey everyone! Sorry, as always, for making you wait. I won't make you wait longer by blabbing haha! Thanks so much to all who read and reviewed last chapter! And thank you, all, for being so patient. I've added a feature to this chapter, and will probably continue it into the following chapters. it's a one-line preview for the next chapter. Basically just a little something you can think about while waiting for the next chapter. The songs for the chapter are listed below, all of which are available in both the 'Reclamation' and 'Featured' playlists on my YouTube page except the first one by The Treeking Crees. You'll have to take a jog over to their MySpace page for it. http:/ www. myspace .com/thetreekingcrees (it's worth it). Also I do hope you enjoy the last song by Turin Brakes. I am pretty well obsessed with it for probably the next few weeks. Okee Doke, I'm done. _

_Songs: _(1) Way Down – The Treeking Crees; (2) First Floor People – Barcelona; (3) Open Invitation – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club; (4) Seal Jubilee – Bat for Lashes; (5) Synth One – Ronald Jenkees; (6) Symphony 6: Fair Thee Well and the Requiem Mix – Emily Wells; (7) Illgresi – Sigur Ros; (8) Hey Man, Nice Shot – Filter; (9) Laugh, I Nearly Died – The Rolling Stones; (10) Help I'm Alive (Acoustic) – Metric; (11) Rain City – Turin Brakes

Chapter XIV

Though wide awake, Zack was still a little surprised by the sound of the alarm next to him going off, alerting him to the fact he had to get ready to head to work at the repair shop. He hadn't slept all night. He just lay there, listening to Cloud sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed. Listening to his breathing was more the case. Cloud really didn't make much sound while sleeping.

Zack sat up slowly and moved his legs over the side of the bed before standing. He glanced down at Cloud as he headed for the door to the room. He didn't look bad at all, which was encouraging.

After washing his face and brushing his teeth, Zack returned to the room and prepared a syringe with the experimental drug he'd gotten the night before. He hated to have to wake his friend up, but he didn't want to attempt giving him the injection while he was out and startle him awake. He set the filled syringe on the dresser and crouched down in front of Cloud, placing a hand on his one shoulder. He squeezed gently and called his name to him. After a moment, Cloud's eyes opened slowly.

"Morning, buddy," Zack said quietly. "How you feeling?" he asked.

"Mm," Cloud hummed a little as he closed his eyes again. "Like I've been asleep a hundred years," he murmured. Zack laughed dryly. He reached down and touched his friend's calf, grasping gently.

"You feel that?" he asked.

"Yeah," Cloud replied softly.

"Good, you think you can sit up a minute. You gotta have some drugs before I go," Zack said before rising to get the syringe he'd set on the dresser. Cloud pulled himself up slowly, a little surprised at the fact he was in considerably less pain than before. He felt more stiff than anything else.

"Okee dokee," Zack said as he knelt down on one knee. "Turn," he instructed as he motioned to Cloud's left forearm. Cloud turned his arm so the underside was facing up. Zack looked over his inner elbow, running his thumb over it gently. The skin was fairly bruised from previous injections. It was difficult to even see the veins, not that it was necessary to give the injection directly into his veins. It had obviously worked the night before by just a random insertion in the upper arm. He just assumed the medicine would work faster if he could get it right into the veins.

Cloud kept his eyes on Zack as his friend gave him the injection. Even as Zack inspected the ports below his inner elbow and in his wrist. A flood of guilt ran through him as he looked at Zack's neck and could see a light splotching of bruises and scratches. He remembered well what had caused it.

"Zack," he spoke in an almost fearful tone. Zack looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "I-I...last night," he said brokenly.

Zack shook his head, knowing where Cloud was going. "Spike, you don't have to—" he began but Cloud interrupted.

"I don't know what happened," his friend said.

"It's alright, Spikey, it's not your fault—" Zack replied and Cloud stopped him again.

"No, Zack," he said sharply. "It's not alright," he added before taking a few quick breaths. His eyes glistened a little with building tears. "I knew what I was doing," he revealed. "I just...don't know why I did it," he concluded.

Zack looked back at him, not sure how he should respond. He had told himself that Cloud had had no idea what he was doing the night before. But hearing him say that he did know what he was doing had thrown him for a loop. If there was one thing he was sure of, however, it was Jenova's involvement. He didn't doubt for a second she had exerted some sort of control over Cloud, acting as the guiding hand in his actions.

He smiled weakly and placed a hand on the back of Cloud's neck. "Don't worry about it, buddy. You've been sick as hell. Try to kill me when you're feeling better and maybe then I'll be a bit offended," he spoke lightly. Cloud's shamed expression didn't really change much in light of the joke. Zack brushed it off and began to rise. Cloud stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice quivering a little.

"I know, Spike," Zack replied softly. "I have to go to work," he added as he pulled out of his friend's hold and stood straight. "I'll see you later, alright?" Cloud nodded and watched him walk to the door. Zack paused before heading out. "That doctor Jacob knows," he said as he looked back at Cloud, "he may be coming here to see you tonight. To have a look at those pain in the ass ports of yours."

Cloud glanced at one of the metal discs in his right arm. "You think he'll be able to take them out?" he asked.

Zack shrugged. "We'll see, I guess." He gave Cloud one more of what he hoped was a comforting smile before leaving the room.

000

Zack found it incredibly difficult to focus while at work. It hit him early on in the day just how tired he was. Tired, and yet incredibly anxious. He couldn't help a thousand bad scenarios running through his head. The scenarios that could play out that night if things didn't go well. He wasn't sure what he'd do if the doctor were followed by the Turks and they decided to check out the bar. He should have come up with a better plan, he knew that. But there wasn't anything he could do about it now. He suspected that if the Turks did show up that they'd stay at a bit of a distance. If they were aiming to take he and Cloud back to the Shinra Mansion then they would probably want to get the two of them on their own first. That was his theory anyway.

When he'd finished work for the day, he went up to the apartment to shower and put on some clean clothes. He grabbed some clothes for Cloud as well. If the new drug was working, his friend's bleeding would presumably have stopped and he would be able to put on some more clothing without having to worry about staining it.

He hurried back to the bar to find Cloud sleeping. He woke easily enough when Zack nudged him. Just as Zack had suspected and hoped, Cloud's ports had stopped bleeding. The drug was working.

"Hey," Cloud breathed out as he woke, turning his head to look up at Zack.

"How you feeling?" Zack asked. "Better?"

Cloud thought for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, actually," he agreed. "Still really tired though," he added.

"Well some food might help. I'd be tired too if I had been basically starving for two and a half days," Zack pointed out. "Tifa's making something. I brought some clothes over for you from the apartment. You probably wanna take a shower first though," he suggested.

"Definitely," his friend replied.

After another injection, Cloud was in the shower with Zack standing just outside the bathroom. Cloud was still a little weak and shaky from the past few days and he wanted to be able to help him out if he fell suddenly while showering. Fortunately, he wasn't needed and his friend emerged from the bathroom shortly, clean and dressed. It was good to see him that way. Tifa brought up some soup for him when he was back in the bedroom. He was able to rest on the bed, rather than on the floor. It was a matter of playing the waiting game then to see if and when the doctor would get there.

It was just after 9 p.m. when the doctor arrived at the bar. He sat down inside and waited for Tifa to come to the table. She had never met the man before so she had no idea what he would look like. Still, she suspected he was the man they'd been waiting on that evening. She leaned in a little closer than she normally would as she spoke to him.

"What can I get you?" she asked.

"Just water," he replied. "I have work to do tonight," he added. She glanced down at the bag he had set down next to his chair. When she looked at him again he nodded slightly.

"All alone tonight?" she questioned then and he nodded.

"As far as I know," he confirmed.

Tifa looked to the door before telling Joey to take him upstairs.

The man hadn't lied. He had arrived at the bar alone. But that wasn't to say his trip would go unnoticed. A tracking device on his vehicle had transmitted his approximate location back to Turk Headquarters. On one of the computer monitors in a surveillance room, the location was flashing. But at that moment, there was no one in the room to see it. The Turks were busy with other matters.

When he spotted Lars, the doctor, coming up the stairs, Zack pushed away from the wall where he'd been standing outside the room Cloud was resting in and moved to greet him. He held out his hand and the doctor took it. The man smiled warmly, calming Zack's nerves slightly.

"Good to see you again," Lars said as he let go of Zack's hand. "I trust you've recovered alright from the injuries you had when we last met?" he remarked and Zack nodded.

"I'm fine," Zack assured him. "Cloud's got problems though. That new drug has been working well and his blood flow from the ports in his body has basically stopped so I don't want them to cause him anymore trouble than they have already," he explained.

"Alright, let's have a look and see if I can do anything," the doctor suggested. Zack lead him into the bedroom where Cloud stirred and lifted his head to look over his one shoulder. "Hello again, Cloud," the doctor greeted. Cloud nodded slightly. "Mind if I have a look at you?" the man asked then.

"Sure," Cloud uttered quietly before turning himself over and taking off his shirt.

The doctor took his time examining the ports. After looking at the ones in Cloud's back he stood straight and gave what sounded like a hum of disappointment.

"What's the verdict, doc?" Zack questioned, trying not to be discouraged.

"Well," Lars began. "I think I can remove some of them," he announced.

"Some?" Zack repeated and glanced at Cloud. In that brief moment he could see just how disappointed he was at hearing that.

The doctor looked at Cloud as well before motioning for Zack to move with him to the hall.

"So, what's the deal, doc?" Zack asked then.

Lars exhaled in a huff before replying. "How much do you know about those implants your friend has?" he inquired.

Zack shrugged, "I dunno...a little or a lot, depending on what you want to know," he said vaguely.

"Do you know anything about how they were attached?" the doctor clarified.

Zack cleared his throat nervously. "Uh, well, I..." he trailed off as he thought back to that morning Hojo decided to surgically implant the ports in his friend. He remembered watching from the testing cylinder. The water was blurring his vision slightly so he couldn't clearly make out what was going on. "I...I really can't say for sure," Zack admitted. "Something about clips...or clamps...or..." he struggled to come up with something but shook his head. "What I know for sure is that they go directly into his veins," he revealed finally and the doctor frowned. "What?" Zack asked fast.

"I'm concerned about trying to remove the implants in his back," the doctor explained. "It's possible that I could damage his spinal cord in my attempt," he said carefully. When Zack said nothing the doctor added "He could be paralyzed."

Zack leaned back against the wall behind him and ran his hands through his hair. "So, what are you—are you saying we shouldn't do this?" he asked.

"I'm saying, Cloud needs to be aware of the possible implications of having them removed," the doctor replied softly.

Zack looked back toward the room. He sighed and took a deep breath. "Alright," he said before entering and approaching his friend. Before he could say anything Cloud spoke first.

"I want them out," he said firmly.

"Spike," Zack began to reply slowly. "The doctor said that—"

"I heard what he said," Cloud interrupted. Of course he had. He was listening with mako-enhanced hearing. Under the current circumstances, it had somewhat slipped Zack's mind.

"Right," Zack agreed. "Spike, you have to understand what it could mean—"

Cloud cut him off again. "I don't care," he insisted. He softened his tone then as he uttered quietly "Zack, you promised."

He definitely had promised. The first night he and Cloud had spent in the city. He promised he would find a way to have the ports removed.

He sighed heavily once again before giving Cloud a small smile. "Okay," he agreed.

It was an incredibly long wait for Zack while the procedure was carried out. The doctor had told him he could be present in the room if he wished but for some reason he couldn't do it. One would think after all he'd been forced to witness in the past that he'd be able to watch the surgery, but he just couldn't. Just the thought of it made him feel a little sick to his stomach. He still recalled easily the surgery that had given Cloud his ports. He remembered well the look on his friend's face when he'd realized they'd been implanted in his skin. He prayed that the doctor was going to be able to remove them without complications.

As the minutes crawled by, Zack didn't know what to do with himself. He stood in the dark in Tifa's room, looking out the window into the street. He was watching for any signs that the Turks may have followed the doctor down to the slums. Though he was trying to deny it, he somehow knew that the Turks were going catch up to them at some point. Tseng was very good at finding people. He had a knack for understanding how people think and what their moves would be. In the case of himself and Cloud, Tseng also had the advantage of knowing what they'd been subjected to the past four years. The man was closing in on them. Zack could feel it.

If there was one other thing he was sure of, it was that he wasn't going to let himself or Cloud be taken back to Hojo's lab. A few drops of rain began hitting the window then as he stared out. Aerith came to his mind then. She liked the rain. He exhaled heavily and pressed his forehead to the window. No matter how many times he told himself he couldn't see her again, that he didn't _want _to see her again, he still missed her.

"Contemplating?" a voice spoke from behind him. He glanced back to see Tifa standing in the doorway before facing the window again.

"A bit," he admitted.

"I think you got lucky," Tifa said next as she moved into the room. "Looks like the Turks aren't following the doctor," she added. She stopped next to Zack and followed his line of sight to the street.

"Maybe," he said quietly. "Doesn't mean he's not being tracked," he pointed out.

"Well if he was, wouldn't we have been ambushed by now?" she challenged.

He looked at her and laughed dryly. "You don't know how they work," he stated.

"Oh, really?" she replied sharply. "I think I know enough," she claimed.

"Sure," he said, rolling his eyes as he looked back out the window. There was a bit of silence before Tifa switched topics.

"Are you really going to leave Midgar with Cloud and disappear?" she asked quietly.

He wasn't about to lie. "That's the plan," he admitted. When Tifa said nothing in return, he looked back at her. "Why? You wanna come?" he asked lightly, not really serious.

"I couldn't just run away," she said back in a little bit of a harsh tone. He looked at her in amusement.

"I used to think like that," he muttered.

"Mmhmm. Back when you were stronger," Tifa responded quietly.

Zack looked back at her for a long moment before scoffing. "Strength is relative to your situation."

There was silence between them for another moment before Tifa spoke a quiet "Yeah," and then left to go back downstairs.

It was nearly three hours after the door to the spare room had closed when it opened once again. The doctor looked out and pulled his mask from his face. To Zack's relief, the man smiled.

"I'm done, would you like to come see?" he asked. Zack hesitated briefly before standing up from the floor in the hall where he'd been sitting the past few hours. He moved himself forward, the doctor stepping aside to let him through.

Cloud was lying on his stomach, blissfully unconscious. Zack's eyes were drawn immediately to the places on his back where two of the ports had been. The areas were now marked by stitching and a little blood instead.

"You got them all?" Zack asked and the doctor nodded.

"We won't know if anything was damaged by the procedure, however, until your friend is awake," he explained.

"How long will that be?" Zack questioned then. He reached down and picked up one of the ports lying on a towel on the table next to Cloud.

"Not long," the doctor answered. "It wasn't a strong anaesthetic. I must say," he continued, "I'm a little concerned by how much scar tissue I ran into in his back. There was also some nerve damage. Now, I'm wondering, with your friend having mako sickness, was he by chance given injections of mako in his back, near his spinal column?"

Zack's blood ran cold through his veins. He was amazed and saddened at the same time that the doctor was able to get to that conclusion on his own. He nodded slowly.

"Something like that," he admitted.

"Well I know you aren't comfortable with discussing anything to do with how your friend came to be in this state so I won't question you further about it," the doctor said politely.

"Thank you," Zack said gratefully.

"And the trimocyphlin is helping a little?"

"Yeah. Helping a lot actually. But it's not exactly cheap," Zack explained.

"No, I know," the doctor said almost apologetically.

"How long is he gonna need to take it?" Zack asked hesitantly, afraid of the answer.

"It's hard to say," the doctor replied with a frown. "Right now he needs it daily, but within a week he could probably hand le every other day, and in another few weeks maybe he can go close to a week without needing it," he suggested. "It all depends on what kinds of activities he's involved in as well. There's a certain level of activity that's beneficial because it will burn off the mako faster, but too much overexertion will lower his body's defences and the mako will be able to take over. I'm afraid there's not much more that can be said about it as it's still an experimental drug."

"Yeah...I understand," Zack said in acceptance.

"I'd like to wait around until Cloud wakes up to make sure there were no complications with the surgery. If that's alright with you," the man said respectfully.

"I'd like that as well," Zack replied.

It was just over two hours later that Cloud woke, sooner than the doctor had expected. He opened his eyes to see Zack sitting on the floor next to the bed. His arms were resting on his drawn-up knees and his head was on his arms. Zack's head was facing his was but he seemed to be asleep. In fact, he was only resting as his eyes opened the moment he made a slight movement. Cloud stilled again as he looked back at him. They spent a few seconds in silence before Cloud spoke.

"Good news or bad?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper.

"They're all out," Zack answered, his tone also quiet. Cloud couldn't stop himself from smiling a little. Zack remained serious. "The doctor's still here. He wanted to make sure the surgery was successful before he left."

"He wants to know if I'm paralyzed, you mean," Cloud corrected him and Zack nodded.

The surgery _had _been successful. Cloud was able to walk just fine, though he was in a little bit of pain. Later on that morning, he stood in the bathroom and was able to look at himself free from those metallic objects that had made him feel so inhuman. An almost literal weight had been taken off of him. At least there was one thing he wouldn't have to worry about again.

000

At the Turk satellite headquarters, Bowen, the Turk overseeing digital surveillance on all targets of what had been dubbed _Project Reclamation_ stepped back into the surveillance room after an overnight job at Shinra headquarters. As he sat down and took a look at the monitors in front of him, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. It wasn't until he reviewed the footage captured while he was out that he noticed something odd. Target 4 had taken a trip down to the slums that night. The transmitter in his car allowed him to see the path the target had taken down to Sector 7. Unfortunately, satellite images could not be accessed to show him where the target had stopped but he did have coordinates. From the coordinates, he was able to tap into the nearest street security camera. It gave a broad view of one of the streets in the sector but it was live footage, meaning the target's vehicle was already gone from where it had been parked earlier. The surveillance footage indicated the target's car was parked at that location for several hours, almost the entire night. From approximately 9 p.m. to just after 4 a.m.

Bowen picked up his phone to dial Tseng. The leader answered after a few short rings.

"I may have something," Bowen declared. "I'm not sure."

"What is it?" Tseng inquired.

"One of the secondary targets was in the Sector Seven slums for approximately seven hours over the night and into the morning," Bowen revealed.

"Was it the doctor?" Tseng asked next.

"Yes," his co-worker confirmed.

"Exact location?"

"I have coordinates," Bowen replied. "And footage from the nearest security camera. It appears the target could have been at any one of the businesses or residences located on the street."

"I'm coming down to see the footage," Tseng announced before hanging up. Bowen waited for the man to arrive. It didn't take long as he was already in the building.

Tseng examined the buildings visible through the security camera. He didn't really get any particular feelings when looking at them. The target could have been at any one of them. Or none of them.

"What's that?" he asked aloud as he pointed to the corner of the screen. There was one building only partially visible. Bowen leaned in closer to the monitor, trying to make out the letters on a sign above the door of the building. Only half of it was on the screen. _SEV_ and _HEA _just below it.

"I dunno, boss," Bowen muttered as he squinted a little at the screen.

The door burst open then behind them. Neither needed to turn to know who had just entered.

"What do you need, Reno?" Bowen questioned without looking back.

"Some fucking sleep would be nice," Reno answered sharply.

"None of us are getting any sleep, so get over it," Bowen shot back at him. He grunted in annoyance when Reno shoved him to the side a little so he could get a look at the monitors. Reno scoffed then.

"Heard that bar sucks," he commented and Tseng looked at him.

"What bar?" he questioned.

"That bar," Reno clarified as he tapped the screen where the half visible building was that Tseng and Bowen had been looking at.

Tseng stood straight but kept his eyes on the building.

"Uh oh," Reno remarked. "You're thinking again, aren't you boss?"

"I want you and Rude to go down to that street. I want a light investigation of the buildings," Tseng instructed.

"Heh, no problem," Reno said with a grin.

"_Light_, Reno," Tseng said fast. "You know what that means." Reno rolled his eyes. "No shake-downs," Tseng continued.

"What's the point?" Reno asked. "You think Fair and his girlfriend are hiding out at that bar, right?"

"His girlfriend?" Tseng repeated Reno's words in slight confusion. Aerith came to his mind immediately.

"Yeah, the blond kid, whatever his name is," Reno said with a casual wave.

"Strife," Tseng corrected.

"Whatever," Reno replied.

Tseng looked at the monitor again. "Perhaps," he semi-agreed.

"Well, Rude and I will find out," Reno said as he headed for the door.

"Reno," Tseng spoke quickly, stopping him. "_Talk_ to the employees only. See if you can pick up anything by eye from inside. But no forced searching. If Fair and Strife are there...we need a different approach. No direct contact at the moment. Fair's attack on Dominic has made it clear he's going to put up a good fight during any sort of confrontation. We don't know what he or Strife is capable of right now."

"Boss, Rude and I know how they fight," Reno pointed out.

"And that was how long ago?" Tseng challenged. "We don't know what Hojo did to them when you and Rude were sent away from the mansion." Reno knew that was true. "Besides," Tseng pressed on. "They're desperate. And Fair can be protective. If the doctor's long visit to the sector means anything, it could be what we've expected before. That one of them is in need of medical attention. Most likely Strife."

Reno sighed impatiently. "Alright, so what? Me and Rude go in and just..."

"Observe," Tseng said. "I suspect if the targets _are _at that location, you're going to be turned out by the owner of the bar pretty quickly. You will leave as asked and then observe the building from outside until I tell you differently."

"You got it," Reno said as he turned to leave.

"Reno," his boss called after him again.

"Whaaat?" Reno responded in exaggeration.

"Go in street clothes."

Reno nodded one final time before turning and rolling his eyes. He left the room to go find Rude. In the late afternoon, they headed down to the Sector 7 slums. They checked out a few of the other businesses on the same street as the bar Reno had seen on the camera footage. When they got nothing out of their brief investigation, they walked down to the bar. It didn't appear to be open, but the door was unlocked and the lights on.

Tifa was behind the bar counter looking through a newspaper. She looked up at the sound of the door opening. She watched as two guys entered. She grew angry immediately at the sight of them. They weren't any ordinary customers, she'd seen them before. When she'd first come to Midgar after her hometown was burned, she worked at another bar briefly before opening her own. It was there that she'd met her two current visitors.

Reno and Rude were just as surprised to see her. Tifa had the first words though.

"Get the hell out," she ordered.

"So you remember us," Reno said in return.

"Get out," Tifa repeated but the Turks made no indication they were going to comply. Reno was inwardly laughing.

_Damn, Boss was right! _he said to himself. He knew Tifa was from the same town as Cloud and that they had known each other. This was all the confirmation he and the others needed that their primary targets were hiding out there. Fortunately, when he and Rude had last met Tifa, they'd been in street clothes as well and hadn't divulged to her that they were Turks, which was hopefully going to put them at an advantage.

"Relax, babe," Reno said as he took a seat at the bar along with Rude. "Just lookin' for a little afternoon drink."

"I don't serve pigs here," Tifa shot back at him.

"Wow, guess you're still a firecracker," Reno remarked as he glanced around. "Tell you what, my buddy and me here are thirsty. We'll pay double what you normally charge, we're just _that _thirsty."

"Aw, what a shame," Tifa responded with fake sympathy. "I'm sure there's a puddle out there by the road you could lap up."

"Ouch," Rude muttered as he and Reno looked at one another.

"Look," Reno began again. "I'm sorry if we were jerks last time you saw us. I'm sure we were pretty drunk. I know I was. I think some things were said that _may _have been a bit inappropriate—"

"You shoved money down my shirt," Tifa cut him off swiftly.

Reno couldn't help but grin. He did remember actually. "Okay...so there was that. But you're hot, it was a compliment," he rationalized. "You understand," he said as he leaned further across the counter. "I'm sorry. Is that what you want?" When Tifa just stared back at him he smiled. "Great, now that that's settled, how 'bout that drink?" he asked.

Tifa leaned in closer to him from her side of the bar. In a soft tone she said "I wouldn't serve you if you were dying of dehydration in the middle of a hundred-day heat wave." Reno's face fell a little. "Now, get out," she ordered.

Reno released a long sigh as he looked around the room briefly. "Alright," he said in defeat. "You mind if I use your bathroom before we go?"

"Yes," Tifa replied firmly.

"Great, you're a doll!" Reno spoke as he rose from the barstool and motioned to head toward the doors leading to the back rooms of the building. Tifa moved to block him quickly.

"I meant 'yes, I mind'," she clarified. He stared down at her a long moment and when he could see she wasn't going to move, he shrugged and turned away from her.

"Fine, be that way," he said casually with the wave of his hand. He looked at Rude and motioned for him to follow. "Let's go, buddy. We'll find a better bar to have a drink in," he muttered as they were heading for the door. The moment they left, Tifa locked the front door and went upstairs. She checked to make sure Cloud was still sleeping before peaking out the window to the back of the building. Sure enough, within ten minutes, the same two guys she'd just had in the bar appeared out back and began looking through the garbage cans.

She retreated downstairs and dug out the phone book from behind the bar. She dialled the number for the repair shop below Zack and Cloud's apartment. She'd taken note of the business' name when she was over there.

Zack was the one to answer the phone. She didn't even bother saying 'hi' before blurting out what she had to say.

"You can't come back here tonight," she began.

"Tifa? What, I—how'd you get this number?" Zack asked, sounding like he was trying to be quiet suddenly.

"Phonebook, genius," she answered fast, rolling her eyes.

"You can't call me here, it's not safe, what if the phone is—"

"What?" she cut him off. "Tapped? Monitored? Impossible, believe me, I'm good at covering my ass because of AVALANCHE. Now, listen to me! You can't come back here tonight. I think the place is being watched. Guess I was wrong about the doctor not being followed."

"Wait, what do you mean, how do you know?" Zack questioned in confusion.

"Two guys were just in here. I think they could be Turks. I'm not positive. They aren't in uniform," she explained. "But they're snooping around the outside of the building. I just have this feeling."

There was a bit of silence before Zack asked "What did they look like?"

"Uh...One was tall and bald, lots of piercings and the other was...I dunno, average height—"

"Red hair?" Zack interrupted.

"Yeah," she answered softly. "Like _red_."

"Shit," Zack exclaimed quietly. "They_ are _Turks," he confirmed.

"You know them?" Tifa asked next.

"Yeah, there names are Reno and Rude," he revealed. "Son of a bitch," he cursed. "They didn't try to search the place?"

"Sorta...one wanted to use the bathroom. But they left pretty easily. They could have just forced their way through the place. It's weird."

That was true.

"Alright," Zack said then, exhaling forcefully. "I don't think Cloud should know about them," he stated.

"Okay..." Tifa said slowly. "And what am I supposed to tell him when he asks why you aren't coming back to the bar tonight?"

Good point.

"Uh..." Zack tried to think of an answer.

"I don't think we can lie to him about this, Zack," Tifa spoke before he could come up with something. "I'm going to tell him."

"Tifa!" Zack said fast, about to protest.

"Forget it," she responded just a quick. "Stay there and I'll give you an update on the situation later," she ordered before hanging up and cutting off any chance of him being able to argue.

When Tifa went back upstairs, she found Cloud awake. She could see him as she approached the room. Through the open door she could see him, his back to her as he was putting his arms through a shirt. She focused on his amply scarred flesh before he pulled the shirt over his head and blocked out her view. He turned then as he pulled the shirt down toward his waist. She smiled as he made eye contact with her.

"You're standing again," she said happily, moving forward into the room.

"Yeah," he replied simply before glancing down at his feet. "Sorry about your floor," he uttered quietly. Though he'd been lying on a sheet of plastic, a small amount of his blood had made it onto the wood and would inevitably stain it.

"Oh, forget about it," she replied, waving her hand. "It's nothing a rug won't cover," she added lightly. He gave a small, and brief, smile in return. Tifa moved closer to him then. "You have no idea how much I missed you—" she began to say but paused as Cloud stepped backwards and knocked into the dresser behind him. The medicine bottles and some of the other things stacked on top of it rattled and he pivoted fast to steady them before they fell over.

"You're really scared of me, aren't you?" Tifa spoke after a moment. Cloud turned back to face her.

"No," Cloud denied. "It's not that. I just...I don't know how to...be around you," he confessed.

"You don't have to _be _any way," she assured him as she took a seat on the end of the bed. "Just be you," she suggested.

Cloud thought about it a moment. "I don't really know how to be me," he claimed lowly. "I don't remember much of how I was...before."

Tifa nodded in understanding. "Well, um, I don't really think you're much different," she said. "You were always kinda quiet and...I dunno, unsure?" she said in question, more to herself. She shook her head. "That's not the right word. Shy? Maybe that's more it."

In the silence that followed what she'd said, she thought about what she was supposed to be telling him. That there were two Turks likely watching the building at that moment. That they could choose at any time to storm the building. She was terrified, but wouldn't let it show on her face, or in her demeanour. Cloud had to know of the possible danger they were in. She opened her mouth to break the news to him but he spoke first.

"How long have we known each other?" he asked softly.

"Uh, a long time," she answered with a smile as her thoughts turned to childhood. "Practically forever."

"You knew my parents then," was his next question. It was unexpected. Tifa realized suddenly that what Zack had told her really had been true. Cloud remembered nothing from his childhood, not even the part where he had no father. She had agreed to lie about his past, to go along with the life he'd created that said he grew up in Gongaga. It wasn't right, but she reconfirmed the lie by quietly replying with "Uh...yeah, definitely."

Cloud nodded from where he was leaning against the dresser. He crossed his arms over his chest. There was a strange look in his expression. Like...scepticism?

"What were there names?" he asked next, catching Tifa off guard. She had only known his mother's name. But she wasn't sure if Zack had answered this question already and given them names she wasn't aware of. She thought up an answer quickly.

"Uh...you know, I always just called them mister and misses Strife," she said lamely, looking away. When she looked up again and met his eyes she was sure she saw doubt in them. But after a moment, his expression softened and he sat himself down on the bed, adjacent to her. She turned herself slightly and looked at his back. She looked over his shoulder to see him rubbing his one palm with the thumb of his other hand. His hands were one of the most scarred parts of his body as far as she could see. She knew he tried to hide that fact. She couldn't help but question it.

"What happened to your hands?" she asked gently, watching his face for his reaction. There wasn't much of a change.

"I dunno," he said back with a slight shrug. "Zack just said they got burned and shredded a bit when we tried to get away from that mansion..." he revealed.

"You don't remember it?" Tifa inquired next.

"Not really," he answered a little sadly. "Sometimes I think I have dreams about it. Of a car burning. I see Zack inside, but...I dunno. That's it really." Tifa couldn't really think of a way to respond. "The Turks know we've been staying here, don't they," he said to her surprise.

Instead of lying, she took the opportunity to be straight with him. "I think so," she confirmed. "How did you know?" she questioned then.

He took a breath and let it out slow. "Just a feeling..." he uttered, sounding somewhat unsure. "If that makes sense," he added.

"Yeah, it does," she said, nodding.

"They're watching the place," Cloud muttered next.

"I'd be surprised if they try anything. There's going to be customers in here soon," Tifa explained calmly, trying to sound positive. "We'll come up with a plan."

"Does Zack know?" Cloud asked then.

"Yeah, I called him and told him to stay at the apartment."

Something in Cloud's expression suggested he was fairly uncomfortable with the thought that Zack wasn't going to be coming back to the bar that night. Tifa tried not to take it personally. She left him to prepare to open. She looked outside a few times. She couldn't see any suspicious vehicles parked outside, but that didn't mean the Turks weren't still outside, watching. When Joey showed up, she let him in on the situation before leaving him to open while she called Zack back. He wasn't impressed by how long he'd had to wait for her to call him back. He had to convince Shell, his boss, to let him stay in the shop later so that he could receive the call.

Tifa explained the situation. That she thought the Turks were still around the area. Both she and Zack agreed that it was in his and Cloud's best interest that they not be near the bar. Getting Cloud out without them noticing would be difficult though. Zack talked to Cloud on the phone then, letting him know things would be fine. Though his friend sounded alright, he didn't doubt he was worried. Zack, himself, was scared. It was bad enough that one of their hiding spots had been found by the Turks, but what made it worse was that the two currently watching the place were Reno and Rude. Zack had nothing but feelings of hatred toward them. They'd helped keep him and Cloud locked up in the Shinra Mansion. And not just that. They'd added to their torment. Took pleasure in it even. He couldn't stand the thought that they were so close to Cloud now. He had to do something.

Despite telling Tifa he would stay at the apartment, he headed out to her bar, stopping in one of the nearby allies in order to observe the area. As he looked around, he realized he hadn't considered the fact that there could be surveillance on the street. He peaked out into the street, looking both ways. Nothing looked overly suspicious. Still, one car caught his attention. Going back the way he'd come, he headed down a parallel street before coming to another alley closer to the car. The alley ended just behind where the car was parked. He was able to get a look inside the vehicle from the back. He recognized Reno's hair immediately but he couldn't make out Rude in the car. He crouched within the alley, thinking about what to do.

A minute later, he was startled suddenly when a hand landed on his shoulder. He jumped and turned fast, grabbing the hand and aiming to throw a hit with his other hand. His strike was blocked just as quickly and he realized he was face to face with someone he knew. Kunsel.

"Whoa!" Kunsel exclaimed quietly. "Jumpy much?" he asked.

"Why would you grab me? How would you react?" Zack shot back at him. He moved down the alley, away from the street and Kunsel followed after him.

"I was trying to be quiet. I thought you would have sensed me coming?" Kunsel explained. "Geeze, your SOLDIER skills slipping or what?" he questioned.

"I haven't been a SOLDIER for over four years," Zack replied sharply.

A grim expression came over his old friend before he gestured to Tifa's place and said "You know there's Turks watching the bar?"

"Yeah, I know, that's why I'm here," Zack responded fast. "What are you doing here?" he asked then.

Kunsel grew very serious as he stood in front of Zack and took a deep breath. "I—I haven't slept since the other night—"

"Poor thing," Zack said sarcastically. Kunsel took it and continued on.

"You have a right to be mad," he said and Zack jumped in again.

"Ya think?" he remarked. He scoffed and took a step back, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the building behind him.

"Okay, look," Kunsel started again. "I missed you while you were gone, Zack," he admitted honestly. "Up until that private investigator I hired came back from Nibelheim and told me that in his expert opinion you were...dead, there was nothing between me and Aerith. It was friendship. After getting the bad news from the investigator, things just...went downhill. I'd never imagined losing a good friend." His emotions caught hold of him then. It actually surprised Zack a little to see Kunsel begin to cry. He'd never seen the man so vulnerable, so sad. He'd always seemed the type to never be fazed by anything. Kunsel continued then, his voice quivering. "I didn't know what to do then," he explained. "I couldn't talk about you at work. Couldn't think about you. Couldn't ask questions. But with Aerith...all we did for the longest time is talk about you." Zack shook his head slowly as he looked down. "I know that what I did...what happened between Aerith and I—it was wrong," Kunsel admitted. "And I feel like shit, Zack. I really do. But..." he trailed off.

Maybe he wasn't about to say what came to Zack's mind, but he was pretty sure. "But I was dead," he finished for him. Kunsel observed him with uncertainty before Zack sighed and looked away. "So, what do you want, Kunsel?" he asked. "Forgiveness?"

"No," Kunsel denied. "I want to help you and Cloud."

Zack laughed lightly. He raised a sceptical eyebrow. "How?" he inquired.

"Well I can try to get the Turks off your trail a little. Maybe give them something to do?" he suggested.

Zack thought about it briefly. "Yeah, suppose that might help, but I need a more immediate plan. Cloud's still in the bar. I wanna get him away from there tonight."

Kunsel nodded, lowering his head. He looked up fast after a moment, his eyes lit with what Zack knew to be a plan formulating.

"I got it," he said happily.

Sighing, Zack got closer to him to hear what he had to say. "Alright, give it to me," he urged.

000

At ten o'clock Reno called Rude on his phone from the back of the bar where he'd been keeping watch of the backdoor to the building. He and his partner had traded places a few times that night, going from the back of the building to the car out front and down the street a bit. Rude picked up after a few rings.

"What are you doing? Sleeping?" Reno questioned.

"Nope," Rude replied. "Not like I couldn't go for a nap."

"Yeah? Would that be because it's nice and cozy in the car?"

"Could be that," Rude agreed.

"Well, that's great. I'm really looking forward to it when you trade me places out here."

"Hell no, I like it out here in the car. There's more action out here," Rude argued.

"I know, that's why I'm coming out there. I'm coming right now," Reno said as he left his hiding spot and began to make his way back around the building. When he reached the car he had to fight to get Rude out of the vehicle. Kunsel was watching. The moment his partner was out and Reno was getting ready to sit himself inside the car, he set off a small explosive device he'd set up a few buildings down. The building was abandoned and the explosion was only strong enough to blow out the windows and damage the interior. Still, it created enough of a distraction that both Rude and Reno stepped away from the car, heading toward the building as people on the street were running in all directions.

Zack stepped out of the alley behind their vehicle and got in. He smirked when he saw the keys were in the ignition. He didn't even need to use the bypass key Kunsel had given him that would allow him to start the car without them.

"What the hell—" Reno uttered aloud just before an alarm went off from inside his jacket pocket. "Shit!" he exclaimed. The motion detector he'd placed on the backdoor of the bar earlier had just gone off. As he turned he saw the lights of his and Rude's vehicle coming toward them. "Rude!" he shouted to his partner and they both got out of the way before the car ran them over. It was too dark to see through the tinted windows, but Reno was pretty sure he knew who the hijacker was.

Zack hadn't really planned on running the two Turks over, but given the opportunity he didn't hesitate on trying. It wasn't his primary objective however, so he didn't spend any time trying to turn around to make a second attempt. Out of the rear-view mirror he could see Reno and Rude running for the back of the bar. He hoped Cloud had done what he was supposed to. If he had, he would be running away from the bar on a backstreet that ran behind the buildings.

Cloud was running alright. Though he'd had a head-start, He could hear the sounds of the Turks chasing after him. He had a pretty good lead on them so he wasn't too worried. They didn't seem to be as fast as the one that had chased him down before. He rounded a few more corners before he could see the road ahead where he was supposed to be picked up by Zack. He didn't see a car waiting. As confident as he was in his cardio abilities, he wasn't sure what he was going to do if he reached the street and Zack wasn't there.

Fortunately, he didn't have to entertain the thought much longer. A car screeched to a halt at the end of the street when he was just metres from it. The car made a quick turn so that the passenger side was facing his way. Zack leaned over and opened the passenger door. Cloud nearly leapt in when he reached it. He shut the door fast as Zack pulled the car forward. Reno and Rude came to a stop at the road, breathing hard as they watched the car disappear around a corner.

"That son of a bitch, Fair!" Reno shouted in frustration. He reached into his pocket and got out his phone. He dialled in to Bowen at the headquarters. He asked him to track the vehicle and let them know where it ended up, though he knew Zack wasn't stupid enough to drive the car all the way to where he was going.

Zack certainly wasn't that stupid. He only took the car another four blocks to where Kunsel was waiting, having driven his own vehicle to the same spot. Zack and Cloud got out of the car then and Kunsel got in. He waved to them as they headed away quickly and he prepared for a long drive to "Nowhere Street" on the corner of "Throw the Turks off Their Trail Road." He would take the train from wherever he ended up.

When they got back to the apartment, Zack flopped down on the bed tiredly. He was looking forward to actually getting some sleep that night. Cloud came into the room behind him and stopped at the dresser. He reached into his pockets and removed the bottles of medication he'd shoved in there earlier as well as his new cell phone. Tifa had gotten Joey to pick up two of them when he was out. She had wanted both Cloud and Zack to have one so they could keep connected. He'd been a bit worried while running that both the phone and the medication would slip out of his pockets and he'd lose them altogether. Or they'd bust in his pockets. But they seemed to have survived.

"I can't believe that plan worked," Zack said through a partial yawn after a minute of silence.

Cloud watched him a moment as he lay with his eyes closed and his one hand on his chest. Something had been bothering him. He needed to vocalize it.

"Do you...really think they're trying to take us back?" he asked tentatively.

Zack opened his eyes and looked his way. "What else would they be after us for?" he answered with his own question.

Cloud shrugged. "I dunno. It's just...They had us. Or me anyway. Why not just ambush? They coulda had me back at the mansion by now," he pointed out.

"No, Spike," Zack said, raising himself to a seated position. "You woulda fought."

"Doesn't mean I would have won," Cloud refuted. He shook his head then. "Sorry," he said softly. "It's just something I couldn't help wondering about. I'm sure it's nothing." He turned away from Zack to sit on the bed and remove his boots.

Any hopes Zack had had that he'd get a good night's sleep were dashed when he spent most of the night pondering what possible ulterior motives the Turks could have...

The following day, Cloud spent the day recuperating while Zack was at work downstairs. But the day after, Cloud went up to the construction site, in hopes that he might still have a job. He'd only missed two days. But they had been two days without giving word to his supervisor why it was he was absent. To his surprise, he didn't have to beg for his job back. He was taken back almost immediately on account of a few workers having quit.

Zack, of course, wasn't happy with his decision to go back to work but one thing at least would come out of it. More money that could go toward paying for the drugs Cloud needed. So far, in his first few days, the drug hadn't caused him any problems. On his first day back at the construction site, Cloud noticed quite quickly that Addley was one of the workers no longer at the site. He still felt bad about having run out on her the other night. After asking around, he found out she was working at a diner not far from the site. He decided he would check it out Friday night after work. Instead of choosing not to let Zack know, he decided to be up front about it and tell him where he was planning to go.

"You want to go see a friend?" Zack asked sceptically when Cloud told him. "How do you know him?" he asked next.

"Uh..." Cloud began, thinking about whether he should correct Zack and tell him it was actually a girl he was going to see. "From work," he revealed.

Zack stared back at him uneasily. "I dunno, Spike," he said while shaking his head. "I mean, I can't stop you or anything but..."

Cloud sat down beside him on the couch. "C'mon, Zack. We have phones now," he pointed out.

After a moment, Zack sighed in defeat. "You're not going to stay out all night or anything are you?" he asked.

"No, a few hours," Cloud replied.

"Fine," Zack said in acceptance. Cloud gave a small smile as he stood up again.

"Thanks," he said as he was heading toward the bedroom. He turned back when he was in the doorway. "You should go see that girl," he said softly and Zack looked at him. "That one you used to talk about," Cloud added.

"You remember me talking about a girl?" Zack inquired.

Cloud nodded. "Yeah. Well, I remember you talking about a few," he admitted. "But, that one, the one you got the necklace for...you should go see her."

Zack shook his head and turned back to face the TV. "Naw, that's over, buddy," he claimed with a shrug. "I don't even think about her anymore," he lied.

"Her name's Aerith right?" Cloud asked next and Zack just nodded slightly. "Funny you say you don't think of her...'cause you say her name in your sleep."

Zack only glanced at him. He said nothing in return and a moment later Cloud entered the bedroom and disappeared from his view. He leaned forward then and put his hands on his head.

000

Friday, after work, just as he'd planned, Cloud headed for the diner he was told Addley was working at. When he entered the diner he could see Addley behind the counter pouring some coffee. He approached and stood between two of the stools. When Addley noticed him she came over.

"Didn't expect to see you again," she said, her hands on her hips. "You here to dine and dash?" she asked.

"I'm really sorry about that night," Cloud replied as he leaned on the counter in front of him.

She shrugged. "I get it, it's not the first time a guy's run out on me," she said casually.

"I wanted to stay though," Cloud countered. "I just, uh, wasn't feeling great," he explained vaguely.

"That why you didn't come back to the site," Addley inquired next.

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed and she nodded, though something in her face suggested she didn't entirely believe him.

"Well, glad you're feeling better," she said dryly before motioning to move away. Cloud hesitated a moment before finally getting out what he'd wanted to ask since he walked in. "Do you want to get dinner sometime?" he finally got out.

Addley stopped and looked back at him. "You're asking me out on a date?" she questioned as if it was ridiculous.

"Yeah," Cloud answered with a nod, averting his eyes briefly. "You know, if you want to," he added. When he looked up she was smiling.

He stayed in the diner the rest of her shift, talking to her whenever she wasn't serving. When the diner was finally closed, he walked her back to her hotel room. Cloud hadn't expected to find himself in the same position he'd been in last time he brought her back there. Stumbling into the room as she was kissing him. He wasn't drunk this time, which made him more nervous about where things seemed to be going. Addley was doing most of the work, removing pieces of her own clothing, and his at the same time. He was trying not to think about the fact he'd be bearing all to her. Skin, scars, and stitches. It was dark, so it wouldn't be as obvious. She felt it though. As she ran her hands over his back and shoulders she could feel it. She said nothing until he was lying on the bed beneath her and she was touching his chest. She could feel the stitches on either side under his clavicles.

"What happened to you?" she breathed, touching one of the spots tentatively. He didn't answer her. Just looked at her. He could see her more clearly than she could see him in the dark. She had her own scars. Three of them distinct. Thick white lines on her stomach and one in her chest about an inch and a half long. He thought of touching one but the thought left his mind completely when she took him inside her. He had no idea if he'd ever had sexual encounters with girls in the past, but he certainly felt it to be a new experience. A pleasure he didn't know was possible when all he'd had in the previous years was pain.

"Zack," she whispered as she was working him to the edge. Right, that's the name he'd given her. He may want to sort that out eventually.

000

After work, Zack went up to the apartment but he didn't stay for long. He doubted Cloud would be home anytime soon and he didn't really feel like sitting alone. In retrospect, he knew he'd made the decision earlier in the day to go out to the cemetery where he'd been told 'his body' had been buried. Ironically, it didn't matter if you lived and worked on the plate during life, everyone being buried ended up in the slums. It was the only place with true ground that one could be buried in. Perhaps that's why many people on the plate chose to be cremated.

When he arrived at the cemetery, he realized immediately that Tifa hadn't been lying. Aerith was there. He could feel her before he'd even seen her. He spotted her across the grounds, crouched down on the ground in front of a headstone. It had started raining on his way to the cemetery, and by now it was pouring. The rain had soaked Aerith head to toe but she didn't seem to notice or care. He moved then, slowly, one step at a time as he walked out from under the partial cover of a tree and headed out between some of the gravestones. He kept his eyes on her. The rain was masking his presence. Years ago, not even the heaviest of rains could have prevented her from feeling him nearby.

He stopped behind her, about thirty feet back, and observed her. A long moment passed before she lifted her bowed head and turned it slightly, not so far as to look back over her shoulder. She stood slowly, her body stiff with tension. Zack felt his heart beat harder against his chest. This was it. There was no turning back. He was scared. Scared of not knowing how she was going to react, or what his next move should be when she saw him. It was too late to think about it. He watched her turn, only a few degrees at a time, until he was looking right at her face and into her widening eyes.

The next few moments seemed to last an eternity. They were facing each other directly and neither moved or changed expression. Aerith was shocked, Zack, unsure. Aerith couldn't believe what she was seeing. Zack stood in front of her, the mist and rain obscuring her view. Like a drenched phantom, his hair and clothing clinging to him. She didn't question if she was imagining what she was seeing. She knew what she was seeing was real. All the feelings she'd had had been right. She'd always felt he was alive, and now, here he was. Her wish come true. The man she'd fallen in love with had come back...And now she didn't know what to do.

Zack made the first move. He took a step toward her and the floodgates on her emotions fell apart. She started to cry and then she took her own first steps. They quickened as she got closer to him. Though still unsure of his actions, Zack did what was natural. He opened his arms when she was just in front of him. He felt her body run into his, her arms wrapping around to his back, her body heat extinguishing the chill left by the pouring rain.

He felt himself getting weak as he stood there, tentatively holding her back, but when she looked up at him and said "You came back to me" he burst into tears, closing his eyes tightly and lowering his head as he let go of her. He sank to his knees in front of her. He found himself thrust back into the last four years. Back into the pain he'd felt from losing the things he cared about most. Aerith knelt down in front of him, reaching a hand out to move some of the hair from his forehead before she placed each of her hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at her. In that moment, they both had so much they wanted to say, but neither said anything. Instead, Aerith leaned in slowly and placed her lips on his.

_000End000_

_Next Chapter: the Turks close in..._


	17. Chapter 15

_Hey guys, I felt like maybe some of you (or the majority) felt the last chapter was either uneventful, bad, or both lol and I felt bad about it so I worked hard to get out the next chapter quickly, in hopes it would be better. Thanks to all of you who reviewed and were honest about what they thought of the chapter. No songs for this one though since I wrote it pretty quickly and didn't really give the music much thought. _

Chapter XV

It was close to midnight when Cloud was woken from his light sleep by his new phone ringing from inside his pants on the floor. He jolted slightly when he realized he _had _fallen asleep. He hadn't meant to. He glanced at Addley's sleeping form next to him before getting himself out of the bed to get his phone. He wasn't surprised to find it was Zack calling.

"H-hello," he spoke into the receiver quietly, wondering if he'd answered in time.

"Hey, Spike," Zack said back in a tone Cloud wasn't expecting. He'd been expecting angry/impatient Zack, not tired/unconcerned Zack. "You at home?" Zack asked then.

That's why he didn't sound upset. He had no idea Cloud was still out.

"Uh, yeah," Cloud lied. "Where are you?"

"Um…well…" Zack trailed off as he looked around Aerith's church. He'd gone back there with her after they left the cemetery, despite the fact he was a little nervous Tseng might show up. It's not like he hadn't visited Aerith there before. Aerith had stepped away to use the bathroom. That or she just needed to be alone for a minute. He'd spent the last hour explaining to her why he had been gone for four years and she had gotten pretty emotional about it. Especially the part when he mentioned Tseng and his involvement. Zack was exhausted to say the least.

"I went to see Aerith," he finally admitted.

"Oh," Cloud responded with a bit of surprise.

"And…I probably won't be back for another few hours," Zack continued.

"Okay," Cloud answered with a small smile. He was relieved he was going to be able to get back to the apartment before then.

"Anyway, get some sleep. Sorry if I woke you," Zack apologized.

"Alright," Cloud agreed.

"See you in awhile."

"Yup," Cloud said and waited for Zack to disconnect before ending the call and putting the phone back in his pocket. He started to get dressed as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake Addley. It made no difference because as he was heading for the door she spoke.

"Running out on me again?" she asked and he smiled in slight embarrassment.

"I gotta go back home," he explained. "I stayed out longer than I should have," he added.

"So? What do you need to get back for?" she challenged

"Uh, my…brother's going to be pissed if I don't get home soon."

"Your brother?" Addley repeated and he nodded. "Well, can I see you tomorrow?"

He smiled a little. "I dunno, probably," he said.

"When?" she prodded he and shrugged, laughing a little. "Don't be a tease," she said as she pouted.

"Tomorrow. I'll come by the diner," he told her before opening the door.

"You better," she said in a mock-threatening tone. He shook his head and gave her another smile before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

000

It was ten minutes before Aerith finally came back out to join Zack where she'd left him sitting at one of the pews. Her face was still red from crying. She wouldn't meet his eyes when she sat down next to him. He noticed this and called her out on it.

"Why won't you look at me?" he asked sadly.

"I'm ashamed," she answered at a whisper.

Zack watched her closely. "Ashamed of me?" he questioned after a long moment. She did look at him then.

"No," she denied. "Ashamed of myself." She averted her eyes again. "I'm such an idiot," she stated.

"No," Zack said fast.

"I should have sensed what was happening. I should have felt it!" she argued. "And Tseng…I felt bad for turning him away. I felt bad for him!"

"You didn't know," Zack pointed out. He reached to take her hand from where it was resting in her lap. She began to cry almost immediately. "What?" he asked softly.

"Your spirit is hurt, Zack, I can feel it," she cried as she looked at his hand holding hers.

"It's okay," he said uneasily. He let go of her hand, not wanting to make he feel any worse. He knew she'd always been able to sense things, to sort of 'feel' what others were feeling. But he'd never taken it to be that serious. "I—I…" he struggled with something he could say to make her stop crying. "I'm sorry. I…I don't want to see you upset. All that time I was…away. All I wanted was to see your smile again."

She did smile at that but her face straightened again after a moment. She wiped some of the tears from her cheeks. "But you've been in the city now for weeks," she said then. "Why did you wait so long to come see me?" she questioned. When he didn't immediately reply she asked "Was it Tseng?" recalling the one night Tseng had been at the church and Zack had left the necklace for her there.

"A little of it was Tseng," Zack admitted. "But...I've mostly just been scared." She looked back at him in awe, shaking her head slowly. "I know I've…I've changed. I was afraid that you might not…"

"Not what?" she asked. "Not want to see you? I _love _you, Zackary Fair," she said with a smile, knowing how much he really used to hate being called by his full first name and that she was really the only one allowed to. He laughed lightly in response. "I don't care if you've changed," she added.

Zack looked at her. "Maybe not right now," he uttered in a low tone.

"Not ever," she countered before she leaned in and kissed him. Zack did nothing but kiss her back. He made no movements until she grabbed his one hand and pulled back from him slightly to speak. "Hold onto me, please," she whispered and he allowed himself to do so, raising his hands to her back, running them up slowly. A part of him just wanted to grab her, to throw all his passion at her at once. To kiss her with all the desperation he'd felt all that time he was without her. But there was something keeping him from expressing all he really felt. He was still afraid.

"Stop," she said suddenly and he immediately backed away. "No," she said fast, pulling him back toward her. "Stop holding back," she urged. "You don't have to be scared," she added, echoing his thoughts.

_Alright_, he told himself mentally. He pushed all current thoughts from his head and just imagined what it used to be like, how he used to be with her when they were four years younger. He placed his hands on her soft face and leaned in, kissing her as he inhaled her scent and felt the strands of her hair touching his arms. He felt her hands near his waist and he halted his kisses to look down to where her fingers were beginning to take hold of the hem of his shirt. He met her eyes and she smiled before pulling the fabric of his shirt up slowly. He raised his arms to allow her to pull his shirt off him completely. He watched her as she undid the buttons down the front of her dress.

Piece by piece they went until there was nothing left. They lay on the floor, intertwined and pressed as close to each other as possible. They were uninhibited, unhindered, a bit unsure, and completely with each other.

000

Zack didn't make it back to the apartment until 4 a.m. He had wanted more than anything to stay with Aerith but he wanted to check on Cloud. He told her he would come back for lunch. When he got to the apartment, he did a quick check to make sure Cloud was in the bedroom before crashing on the couch. He fell asleep almost immediately, exhausted from all that had happened the past few hours. He was awoken what felt like only twenty minutes later by some sounds in the kitchen. He lifted his head up to see over the back of the couch. Cloud was doing something at the counter.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily and Cloud looked back briefly.

"Early," his friend answered quietly as he turned back around.

"How early?" Zack inquired next as he lay his one arm over his eyes to block out the light from the kitchen.

"Six-thirty," Cloud said, his back still turned.

"What? It's Saturday isn't it? Why are you up?" Zack asked. When Cloud didn't reply he uncovered his eyes once again and raised his head and shoulders to look over. "Hm?" he hummed in question and Cloud just raised his hand up to show the syringe he was holding.

"The light in the bedroom's out. I had to do it out here," Cloud said almost apologetically.

"Shit," Zack muttered as he let his head fall back.

Cloud made a sound of discomfort then as he was pushing the needle into his flesh. "What?" he asked afterward.

"Nothing, I—" he hesitated as he was mentally calling himself an idiot. "I just forgot about the early-morning dosing. I feel like an ass."

Cloud scoffed. "Pretty sure I can handle it," he muttered.

"How much you got left there?" Zack dared to ask next. He knew there wasn't going to be much. Cloud was going through about thirty milliliters a day.

"Umm…" Cloud hummed as he picked the bottle up to look at it. "Two, maybe three doses."

"Great," Zack spoke with obvious lack of enthusiasm.

"There's more though, right?"

"Yeah." Zack thought about the trip he had to make back up to the plate. About how much it would cost to cover another week of the medication. He had to remind himself that it was just for now that Cloud had to take it three times a day. He could get by with less soon. "Yeah, no worries," he said with a light smile.

Cloud just nodded. "How'd it go with Aerith?" he asked then.

Zack smiled to himself. "Good," was his simple answer. Cloud smiled back tightly. "I'm gonna go back to sleep," he announced before heading toward the bedroom.

"Alright," Zack called back to him. As tired as he was, he was going to have a hard time sleeping now. He was going to have to get up to Scorch's club that day.

At nine o'clock he decided to go down to the station so he could get a ride up to the plate. Before leaving, he went into the bedroom to get some money. Cloud was still sleeping. He didn't want to leave without letting him know, so he decided to wake him up.

"Hey, Spikey," he said as he nudged Cloud's one arm. Cloud moved after a moment, opening his eyes finally. "I'm heading out for a bit," Zack announced.

"I'll go with you," Cloud suggested.

"No," Zack said. "I have a few places to go. You're probably going to be bored, so…just hang here, alright?"

Cloud nodded. He pretended he didn't care but it did bother him a little. He shrugged it off. He had plans that day anyway.

He went up to the diner about an hour after Zack had left. Strangely, Addley wasn't working as she said she would be so he began to walk out to the motel she was staying at. As chance would have it, Scorch's club was nearby and he spotted Zack coming out of the back of the building. He ducked back into an alley. He hadn't known where Zack was getting the new medication from. He knew it had to be from a dealer, but actually seeing the place Zack had gone to was weird.

He waited until Zack was out of sight before continuing on his way to the motel. He found Addley in her room, watching television. She invited him in where he spent the next several hours with her. He wasn't completely sure how he felt towards her. He liked her. He liked listening to her talk. He liked her laugh. Liked the feeling of lying next to her. And he liked what he felt when he was around her. Like he was the stronger one in the room, that he was looked at as a source of protection. He wasn't used to that.

While in bed next to her that afternoon, he couldn't help looking at the scars on her chest and stomach. She noticed him looking and smiled.

"You wanna know how I got them?" she asked suddenly and he met her eyes.

"No, I—" he started to say, about to apologize for even looking at them.

"It's alright," she interrupted softly. "About a year ago, I was dating someone, and uh…he wasn't very nice. He was into a lot of illegal stuff." She paused and Cloud nodded slightly in understanding. "Well, anyway, he was pretty rough with me sometimes. I ended up in the hospital one night after a fight and the cops came to me, asked me to testify against him in court so that they could put him away. They promised me protection, which they never actually came through on. After speaking to them at the station, answering their questions, the next day he came to my house and stabbed me three times. Not sure if he just thought I'd bleed to death when he left, but well…here I am obviously."

Cloud didn't really know what to say to that. "I'm sorry," was all he could get out. "Where is he now?" he asked when she just smiled.

"In jail," she said with a bit of a shrug. He nodded and lowered his eyes. "What about you?" she asked then and he looked at her again.

"What?" he replied, not understanding.

"You gonna tell me about some of your scars?" she inquired.

"I…uh…I ca—" he began, faltering as he tried to come up with the best way to say no after she'd just told him her story.

"It's alright," she cut in. "It's your secret to tell. When you're ready."

Yeah. When he was ready. Something told him he would never be that ready with Addley.

Cloud left Addley's with enough time to get back to the apartment for a late dinner. He hadn't been able to get off his mind the feelings he'd had since he saw Zack earlier. He felt guilt. Guilt for the fact he hadn't really been as thankful to Zack as he should have been. His friend had done nothing but look after him. He went out of his way to keep him alive. Further, he had attacked Zack while sick barely a week ago and Zack had said nothing of it. Cloud had to bring it up himself. And Zack hadn't made him feel bad for it, though he'd known what he was doing at the time. He wanted to tell Zack what he hadn't told him before. How much it really did mean to him that he was going out of his way to help him. Unfortunately, when he arrived home, he found himself alone. He tried calling Zack but there was no answer.

Presently, Zack was lying next to Aerith on the floor of the church. The light from the fire burning in the hearth next to them was illuminating their bodies with an orange glow. It wasn't a particularly cold night, so the fire wasn't necessary. In fact it was actually making them warmer than they needed to be, but it was a little more romantic than the alternative.

Zack was propped up on his one elbow, watching Aerith as she lay on her stomach with her eyes closed, running the back of his hand over her bare back. He knew she wasn't asleep, just resting. She confirmed this when she opened her eyes and smiled at him softly. She raised herself slightly, her forearms flat on the floor, holding her up. The necklace Zack had left at the church that one night, weeks ago, was dangling between her breasts, the only thing she was currently wearing. A few strands of her hair parted from the rest and drifted down in front of her face. Zack reached to move them gently behind her one ear. He leaned in then and kissed her, feeling her lips turn up slightly in a smile.

"I want you to stay with me," she said, her words partially cut off by his next few kisses.

"Tonight?" he questioned.

"Forever," was her answer as she giggled softly. "Or just tonight, for starters." He groaned before pulling back from her and laid himself on his back.

"I can't. I should go back to see how Cloud's doing," he muttered.

"You should have brought him," Aerith suggested as she took up the position Zack was just in, on her side, resting on her elbow. She placed a hand on his chest and moved a little closer to him.

"Uh, that woulda been awkward," Zack said jokingly and Aerith slapped his chest lightly. "Ah-ow!" he exclaimed softly. Grabbing her hand and pulling her. She tipped toward him, her upper body landing on his. Zack kissed her once more before placing his hands behind his head. Aerith crossed her arms on his chest and rested her chin on them.

"I mean it. You should bring him here," she continued then. "I want to meet him. He was a good friend of yours a few years back. But…he means more to you now," she stated. Zack nodded slightly as he met her eyes.

"He's…all I had," Zack admitted. "I'd give my life for him," he added softly.

"I know," Aerith whispered. She smiled at him. A sort of sad smile that had Zack wondering if he'd just said something he shouldn't have.

He walked Aerith home a few hours later before heading back to his own sector. It was well past midnight when he entered the apartment. All the lights were off, save for the one in the kitchen, under the hood over the stove. It was just enough light to make it easier for him to get his boots off and move around without knocking into things. He approached the bedroom and looked in, finding Cloud asleep in the bed, his one arm hanging over the edge of the mattress. He had to admit, he was a little surprised to find Cloud home. A big part of him had expected Cloud to have gone out and to have stayed out until he had to call and demand him back home. It made Zack feel a little guilty for having come home so late. He'd told Cloud he was only going out to do a couple of things, and had turned him down when he wanted to go with him.

He noticed as he headed into the room that his friend was sleeping shirtless. For the first time since they'd been in the Shinra Mansion, with the exception of when he was sick. Zack took it as a good sign. That he was comfortable enough with his own body now that the ports had been removed to sleep without the security of a long-sleeved shirt.

Zack felt confused as he lay down in the bed next to his friend. He was beginning to realize just how strong his feelings for Aerith were. Stronger than before he'd left her four years earlier. He was in love with her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But the thought of waking up in the morning and Cloud not being there, seemed worse than the thought of losing Aerith all over again. Something inside of him had him wanting to hold onto Cloud for dear life, prepared to sacrifice love for friendship.

Cloud opened his eyes from where he lay. He was facing away from Zack and had noticed when Zack got into the bed. Earlier, he'd wanted to talk to him. Now, he wasn't so sure. He couldn't help but wonder, now that Zack had obviously rekindled things with Aerith, if he was going to be spending the majority of his free time with her. He couldn't blame him, he supposed, and given everything Zack had done for him, he couldn't really afford to be selfish. He just hoped someday that maybe Zack would take him to meet her, or bring her to meet him, and then maybe he wouldn't be worried Zack was going to attempt compartmentalization instead.

000

On Sunday, the following day, Cloud experienced his first side-effect from the new drug he was on. He had a hallucination. He was on his way to the diner to visit Addley after work when he found himself face to face with General Sephiroth. The man he'd killed. Cloud had been about to cut down an alley when the man appeared, standing in the alley and blocking his way. Cloud was shocked into a stand-still, staring into his icy green eyes. He stared in awe, his mouth half open in surprise and confusion as the general began taking some slow steps toward him. The way the man was walking toward him, it sent a sudden rush of memory back into Cloud's head. He wasn't on the street anymore. He was in the mako reactor in Nibelheim, alone and knowing the general was moving toward him with the purpose of ending his life.

_It's not real_, he told himself. It couldn't be real. The man was dead. And yet, he was so taken aback by the very real image of the man that he found himself backing up. The general quickened pace, covering the short distance between them very fast.

The man spoke then, his words as sharp and cold as his expression seemed to be. "_I've got you_," he said as Cloud stumbled back onto the street.

Immediately, he heard someone shout "Watch out!" just a split second before he turned his head. He saw the vehicle in the same moment that it rammed into him, his legs being driven up from under him as his body slammed into the windshield. The vehicle came to an abrupt stop, throwing him forward. He rolled from the hood and hit the pavement on his stomach. Shocked and confused over what had just happened, he heard thudding on the ground around him as people were running toward him. As he started to turn over, several people shouted at him to stay still. He didn't feel like he needed to stay still. His right forearm was burning. He felt as though he'd scraped some of the skin off it when he fell to the pavement but other than that, he was just a little stunned. His eyes darted back to the sidewalk, where he expected to see Sephiroth. The general was nowhere in sight. He started to sit up then and someone placed a hand on his shoulder making him jump a little.

"Are you alright?" a man asked him. "You just stepped into the road, there was no time to stop," he added. Cloud assumed he was the driver of the vehicle.

"I'm fine," Cloud assured him a little shakily. He attempted to stand but the man held him down.

"Just wait, an ambulance is on its way," the man said and Cloud immediately reacted, pulling out of the man's grasp and rising despite the protests of the people surrounding him.

"I'm fine," he repeated several times. Now standing, he could see what damage he'd caused to the vehicle. The windshield was a splay of cracks and the bumper was dented. He needed to get out of there. He tried to push past a few people quickly.

"Wait!" the driver called, going after him. "You can't leave. The police are going to want to talk to you!"

_No way_, Cloud thought as he shoved his way through the crowd, ignoring the protests and demands around him for him to stay put. He raced from the scene fast, heading straight back to the apartment.

Zack still wasn't back from grocery shopping, or wherever else he'd ended up, which Cloud was happy about. He wanted to get his arm cleaned up before his friend got back. He was hoping to avoid having to come up with an explanation. No such luck. As he was picking bits of asphalt out of his skin, the front door opened and he heard the rustling of bags as Zack entered.

"Spike, you here?" Zack called out after a moment.

"Yeah!" Cloud called back. He tried to rush his clean-up then, rubbing at his arm faster, which only pushed some of the asphalt deeper. It had been a pointless effort as Zack came to the bathroom door, knocking once before pushing it open. Cloud only glanced at him before averting his eyes, knowing he was going to have to explain himself.

"What happened?" Zack asked, his expression becoming serious in an instant.

"Nothing," Cloud replied quickly. "I...tripped."

"Tripped?" Zack repeated. "You know that lie never works," he said as he moved into the bathroom next to him. "Let's see," he ordered.

"It's fine," Cloud tried to assure him. Of course Zack wasn't about to buy that. He took hold of Cloud's wrist and lifted his arm so he could see the underside.

"God," Zack muttered.

"It's not that bad," Cloud went on.

"So I guess you tripped on the _road _then?" Zack questioned. He already knew the answer as the evidence was embedded in his skin.

"I was crossing the street," Cloud spoke with a shrug.

"You gotta get that crap out of your arm before you do anything else," Zack instructed and Cloud pulled his arm away.

"I'm working on it," was his sharp answer. He started once again attempting to dig the grit out.

"Hang on," Zack stopped him. "At least use some damn tweezers," he suggested. He fished them out of drawer under the sink. "Can you manage?" Zack asked and Cloud threw him an annoyed look.

"Yes," he said impatiently.

Zack laughed lightly. "Alright, alright, I'm going. Clean those off first," he said before leaving, pointing to the tweezers.

With another roll of his eyes, Cloud chose to ignore his last instruction.

000

"We got something," Rude announced as he entered Tseng's office at their secondary headquarters. Reno was having a discussion with him and both he and Tseng turned to face Rude when he burst in. "Video footage of one of the targets from on the plate," Rude revealed. "Bowen's got a copy," he added.

Tseng and Reno followed him to the surveillance room where Bowen played the footage of Cloud getting hit by a vehicle after stepping back onto the street.

"Ha!" Reno blurted. "What an idiot! He just walks out onto the street."

"I wouldn't say that," Tseng said. Reno looked at him and he went on. "He stepped backwards onto the road. He was retreating from something."

"Do you think the others—" Rude began to question but Tseng stopped him.

"No. I don't think so. It's something else."

At that moment, Dominic came into the room, an air of urgency around him that had them all looking him.

"Hey, guys," he greeted before his eyes traveled to the monitor where the video footage was still playing on loop. "What's that?" he asked in slight confusion.

"It's Strife," Bowen answered. "This is good," he continued as he turned back to the monitor. "He's drawn attention to himself. The police are going to be asking for information on him. Witnesses will be calling in with sightings. We have a shot at tracking him down again."

"I can do better," Dominic announced. All turned his way as he took a piece of folded paper from the breast pocket of his suit jacket. "I know where Fair and Strife are living," he claimed.

The others exchanged looks of clear doubt.

"How do you know where they're living?" Tseng inquired then.

"When Zack stole your car—" he began, looking at Reno and Rude.

"More like borrowed," Reno corrected fast.

"Whatever. You said you found a bit of residue on the wheel and gear stick. Well I got it tested, found out it was a type of lubricating oil typically used in small mechanical repair. So, I thought maybe he's been working at a repair shop. There's one in Sector Seven slums. Not far from that bar they were at. And check this out, I went over there and I actually saw Fair come out of an apartment above the repair shop." He stopped and looked at his co-workers. "I'm a genius right?" he said happily. "Do I get a pay raise?" he asked semi-jokingly.

"It doesn't mean that's where they're living," Reno argued.

"Oh, come on! We have to check it out at least!" Dominic pushed on.

"Alright," Tseng said. "Cissnei, you go back to the address with Dominic. If you get confirmation that it _is _the current location of Zack or Cloud, call me."

"Yes, sir," Cissnei said with a firm nod. She and Dominic headed for the slums almost immediately.

Back at the apartment, Cloud was watching the news on television while Zack was making some dinner. He hadn't given much thought to the possibility that his little accident earlier that day could make it onto the news so he was surprised when he realized it had.

"Police are looking for a young man who was struck by a vehicle this afternoon in Sector Six," the anchorwoman spoke. "Witnesses say that the young man stepped out into traffic where he was hit before getting up and running off. A camera outside a store next to the scene captured the incident." There was a cut to the footage then. Cloud bit down on his lower lip as he recognized himself on the footage. No doubt Zack could see it was him as well. "The vehicle that hit the young man was traveling at approximately seventy kilometers per hour. Authorities who have viewed the footage say they are surprised the young man didn't suffer worse injury. Police are now searching for him so that they may ensure his safety and ask him some questions regarding the incident."

As the news story ended and the anchorwoman switched topics, Cloud waited for what he knew was about to come.

"You _tripped_?" Zack spoke from behind him. Cloud turned slowly to face him. "Cloud, what the hell?"

"I'm sorry, I knew how you'd react if I told you the truth—" Cloud tried to explain.

"Well no shit!" Zack shot back at him. "You know how much attention this puts on you?" Cloud turned back to face the T.V., exhaling forcefully. "You couldn't have at least _tried _to look more hurt?" Zack asked. Cloud looked at him fast.

"What did you want me to do? Wait around for the police to show up?" he questioned firmly. Zack sighed, walking around the couch to sit down next to him.

"No. I would rather you not have gotten hit by a car," he answered.

"Well it wasn't like I was trying to be," Cloud countered.

"You're alright though?"

"Yes!" Cloud blurted, exhausted over being asked. "I'm fine." He didn't even feel for a moment that he should mention his little hallucination that had basically caused the accident. Something he would be keeping to himself.

"Geeze," Zack remarked. "That footage made you look like some kind of freak."

"I am," Cloud muttered in a low tone.

"What?" Zack asked , though he was pretty sure he knew what Cloud had said.

"Nothing," his friend mumbled.

Zack had been planning to go see Aerith that night but he decided against it after finding out what had happened to Cloud on the plate earlier. He was worried about Cloud getting so much exposure. He almost seemed to be inviting it upon himself. He was working on the plate, hanging out with people from up there, getting caught on camera up there. He wasn't sure what he should do. If he should try once again to explain to Cloud how important discretion is. That night he chose to say nothing. Cloud went to bed early so that he could be up early for work and Zack followed close behind.

Cissnei and Dominic spent the night outside the apartment, waiting for visual confirmation that Zack and Cloud were actually living there. Dominic felt it to be pointless since he'd already seen Zack exit the apartment earlier, but he didn't say too much about it. Being able to say "Told you so" was good enough when early in the morning they spotted Cloud coming out of the apartment. A few hours later, Zack was the next to leave. Dominic's belief that he worked at the repair shop was pretty well confirmed when Zack entered it right away and turned the closed sign on the door around to 'Open.'

Cissnei called in to Tseng to let him know. Now that the leader had confirmation, he wanted to act quickly. There was no letting Zack and Cloud get away again.

000

The day went slowly for Zack. He'd been anxious since he had taken a look at the morning paper and saw a snapshot of Cloud getting hit by that car in the one section. Fortunately it was too grainy to make out any facial features, or anything really. It was quite blurry. But it still made him nervous. At the end of the day he was tired and ready to crash, not even interested in dinner.

The second Zack walked into the apartment, he sensed something wasn't right. Someone had been there. He could feel it. In that same moment, the door slammed shut behind him and a Turk revealed himself, having been behind the door. He was big, towering over Zack by several inches. He was more muscular than any Turk he'd seen before, even Rude. It didn't surprise him that this would be the one the Turks would decide to send after him and Cloud, but Zack didn't doubt his ability to be able to take the Turk down. He'd taken down Hojo's goons several times at the mansion, and the few were just as big. Still, he went for the door first but the Turk blocked his way. He threw his fist at the Turk's face, surprised that he didn't try to block the shot. It was a good enough hit to find him stumbling a step or two. Zack took the opportunity to grab the door knob and pull the door open. Immediately, he found himself staring at the end of a gun, stopping him dead in his tracks. Tseng was gripping the gun in his hand confidently.

There was a brief moment of tense silence before Tseng spoke. "Step back," he ordered. Zack was reluctant to comply, holding his ground and staring back at the Turk defiantly. A mixture of anger and anxiety had his heart pounding hard in his chest. "Step back, Zack," Tseng repeated himself, though his tone was a bit softer.

Still refusing to comply, Zack could hear the sound of footsteps on the way up the stairs outside. Cissnei appeared behind Tseng. He tried not to look at her. He had mixed feelings toward Cissnei. She'd helped he and Cloud elude the Turks when they'd escaped the mansion but she was ultimately on the side of the Turks.

"Get back into the apartment, Zack," she said before adding a polite "Please."

Gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, Zack stepped backwards slowly, one step at a time until he was in the living room with Tseng, Cissnei, and the Turk that had already been in the apartment when he first got there.

"We're not going back," Zack said firmly, finally finding his voice. Tseng said nothing. The gun was still aimed Zack's way. Zack's attention was drawn back to the door when two other Turks entered the apartment, one of which he recognized as the one that had chased him down a few weeks earlier. The door was closed then, trapping Zack in the room with the five Turks. Now he was really worried. Could he take down all five of them?

"Sit down," Tseng said, glancing at the couch next to Zack.

Zack looked at it before facing Tseng again and spitting out a "Fuck you."

"He said _sit down_," the large Turk nearby spoke up.

"Yeah. And I said _fuck you_!" Zack countered. "I'm not doing a single fucking thing you say. You can point that gun at me all you want, but I'm not going back to that goddamn mansion so I guess you'll have to shoot me!" he said fiercely.

"We're not here to take you back," Tseng replied unexpectedly. Zack was thrown a bit off guard.

"Sure," Zack said skeptically. "What the fuck else would you want?" he dared to ask.

"To talk," Tseng answered stonily.

Zack scoffed. "Yeah? Coulda fooled me," he said flatly, glancing down at the gun.

"Tseng," Cissnei said softly. "Come on."

Tseng lowered his weapon slowly though he didn't holster it right away.

"That the gun you used to shoot Cloud with the last time we saw you in the mansion?" Zack spoke sharply. He wasn't about to make the situation he was in easy at all. Tseng grimaced a little before finally placing the gun back in his hip holster.

"Please," was all Tseng said as he gestured once again to the couch. Zack chose to comply then. Sitting wasn't going to make things any worse for him at that moment and he was sure as hell starting to feel sick enough that he would need to sit down soon anyway. He was feeling especially nervous as Cloud would be home shortly. "You may not know all of us, this is Dominic, Bowen, and Gage," Tseng introduced his fellow Turks.

"What do you want?" Zack asked impatiently.

"Hojo is looking for you and Cloud," Tseng started to explain.

"Well there's a shock," Zack snapped.

"He ordered me to assemble a group to look for you. But what he doesn't know is that we want to help keep you away from him," Tseng reveled. When Zack looked at him skeptically he rephrased it on simpler terms. "We want to help you."

Zack couldn't help but smile in disbelief. "Oh yeah?" he countered. "That's a good one. But even if that's actually why you're here, which it's not, then you can go screw yourself because you're the last people we'd accept help from."

Cissnei looked at Tseng. Before he could say anything else she stepped forward and sat next to him.

"Hear us out, Zack," she said softly. "We're on your side now."

"Now?" Zack echoed. "Why? What's in it for you?"

"Why does there have to be something for us to gain out of it?" she asked in return.

Zack chuckled. He looked at Tseng. "Is she serious?" he asked rhetorically. "Give me the fucking truth," he demanded.

"We want to remove the current president from Shinra and Midgar," Tseng spoke frankly. Zack looked back at him with raised eyebrows.

"And?" he questioned.

"And, the best way to do it is to convince the public that the current president is unfit. The president has the people convinced that their 'comfortable' way of life is the result of him and his science team. We doubt the president would receive such support if the public knew what type of research he was using their tax money to pay for," the lead Turk explained.

"The type of research being?" Zack already knew the answer, he just wanted to hear the Turk say it.

"Unnecessary human experimentation," Tseng stated. Something about his answer immediately struck a nerve in Zack.

"_Unnecessary _human experimentation?" Zack repeated. "And what do you consider _unnecessary_, Tseng? Hmm? At what point did you decide that what was being done to Cloud and I was _unnecessary_? What part of it _was _necessary?"

Tseng held a hand up to stop him. "I understand your anger—" he began.

"No, you don't!" Zack cut him off fast. "You wanna hear about unnecessary? I could tell you a lot about unnecessary. Unnecessary pain, unnecessary blood loss, unnecessary surgical procedures, unnecessary fucking assault."

"We're well aware, Zack," Tseng responded softly.

Huffing, Zack leaned back against the cushions of the couch. "So, what then?" he asked. "You wanna get rid of the president. Then what?"

"Then Rufus Shinra will take up the position," Tseng answered.

Zack stared back at him in shock a moment before leaning forward again. "Rufus? As president," he said. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Rufus is not the same man he was four years ago. He's ready for the responsibility now," Tseng defended.

"That's pretty funny," Zack said with a snort.

"Forget the fact that this has to do with Rufus Shinra," Tseng said sharply. "Hojo would be out of Shinra. He'd be incarcerated for his practices," he announced. "He could never do to another person what was done to you and Cloud."

There was a heavy silence then as Zack actually took in what Tseng had just said. His thoughts were disrupted, however, but the sound of Cloud ascending the stairs outside. He knew his footsteps. Cloud was home earlier than usual. Zack felt himself get instantly more anxious as he waited for the door to open. A moment later it did and Cloud stepped into the apartment. His face fell as he looked around at the Turks. He looked one hundred percent shocked and fearful. Zack had stood up the moment Cloud had entered.

"Come sit down, Cloud," Tseng spoke and Cloud looked at him. Gage put a hand on his shoulder and tried to urge him away from the door but Cloud resisted.

"Back off!" Zack demanded as he knocked Gage's hand away. Cloud looked at Zack then.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked in a small voice.

"It's okay," Zack assured him. "They came to talk."

"Talk? About what?" Cloud said a little louder.

"We want to help you and Zack, Cloud," Tseng spoke up. "So you don't have to run anymore."

Cloud only glanced at him before looking at Zack again. "That's why they're here?" he whispered.

"I think you should hear what we have to say, Cloud," the Turk leader suggested.

Cloud was looking at Zack for him to tell him what to do. Zack only shook his head slightly and shrugged.

"Go nuts, Tseng," Zack said. "Won't make a difference though."

Before Tseng could make his pitch the sound of more footsteps outside could be heard before the door was pushed open fast and two other Turks entered the small apartment. Reno and Rude. Zack was instantly angered. He pushed Cloud back behind him, toward the couch.

"No goddamn way!" he nearly shouted.

"Nice to see you too, Fair," Reno said with one of his cocky smiles that made Zack want to beat off his face.

"Get the hell out!" Zack ordered. "All of you!" he added, pointing toward the door. "If those two are involved, we don't need to hear anything else!"

"Zack," Tseng said evenly as he stood in front of Reno and Rude and went to reached out with one of his hands.

"Don't you fucking touch me, Tseng," Zack said before his hand could make contact. He didn't need to say it loudly for the Turk to know how serious he was.

"I should have told you they were involved," Tseng said by way of apology. "They were supposed to come in with the rest of us."

"Wouldn't have made a difference," Zack argued.

"They're on your side," Tseng claimed.

"Alright, I may have bought a little of what you've been trying to sell to me, but Reno and Rude? They only have one side. Their own."

"They've always been loyal to me," Tseng said as he glanced at the two of them. They'd moved away from the door and were heading around more to where Cloud was standing.

"Yeah? They seemed pretty loyal to Hojo too, as I remember," Zack shot back at him.

"Yes, and we were all loyal to the president at the time," Tseng claimed. Zack scoffed and turned away. Taking some steps toward the kitchen, he ran his hands through his hair as he took a deep breath.

"Come on, Fair. It wasn't personal. It was a job," Reno spoke up to Zack's disgust.

Before he could even turn, there was loud smack as Cloud hauled off and punched Reno in the side of his face. Clearly, Reno wasn't expecting it because the hit sent him to the floor where he stared up in shock, rubbing his left cheek.

"Son of a bitch," Reno muttered.

"Back it up," Rude ordered then as he held a hand out to stop Cloud from going at Reno some more.

"I remember you!" Cloud shouted down at Reno. "And you!" he added as he pointed at Rude. "And _you_!" He was looking at Tseng now. "You helped keep us in the lab. You stopped us from getting away. You could have helped us!"

"We're trying to help now," Tseng countered softly.

"Yeah," Reno jumped in as he lifted himself off the floor. "Nice fucking reception we're getting," he commented.

"Here," Tseng said as he held a hand out to Bowen. The Turk opened the folder he had in his hands and took out what looked to be pictures printed on photo paper. He passed them to Tseng who held them out for Zack to take. Zack did so hesitantly.

"Those are from the mansion, taken by one of Hojo's assistants," Tseng revealed. Zack took a breath before turning them over to look at them.

There were pictures of the basement in the mansion. The cells he and Cloud had been kept in. There were pictures of The Hanger, the room where he and Cloud had spent some of their time separately when being punished for their acts of defiance. He remembered well the hell of that room. Being held suspended from the ceiling, his shoulders and back aching and burning.

There were also pictures of the med-sector and the lab, a few of which he and Cloud were actually in, though their faces weren't recognizable. In one, Zack could see himself in the testing cylinder in the lab, undergoing one of the mako treatments, the mask that delivered the mako and oxygen to his lungs was covering most of his face. Another picture was of Cloud, lying on his stomach on the exam table in the lab. He was restrained though he looked to be unconscious in the picture. Though the metal restraints partially covered them dark bruising was visible around his wrists and ankles. Part of his back was dotted in blood from some sort of multi injection test Hojo had done on him not long before the picture was taken. Cloud hadn't yet been implanted with the metal ports, though it would have happened perhaps within a few days of the picture. Zack was pretty sure he knew approximately when it was taken.

The second picture of Cloud was the worst. It was taken after he'd been implanted and put back in the testing cylinder. It was during a mako treatment, when metal tubes had been attached to the ports in his body in order to deliver the mako. Zack suspected the picture to have been taken near to the day they had escaped as Cloud seemed to be completely unconscious, probably in his coma state brought on by mako poisoning. His body had been so saturated with the mako that his fingertips, toes and some of his veins appeared illuminated in green.

Zack had to remind himself to breathe as he looked at the pictures. They made him feel sick. At the time, he hadn't really noticed some of the things he noticed now. Like the actual grotesque state of some of the rooms he and Cloud had been locked up in, namely the hanger and the smaller cells of the D-Wing where they'd been kept after one of their failed escapes. It was a wonder they didn't die of infection from being in that place.

He was still somewhat immersed in what he was holding in his hands when Cloud spoke.

"I wanna see them," Cloud said firmly, holding a hand out toward Zack, waiting for him to hand the pictures over.

"No, Cloud," Zack said without looking up but Cloud wasn't about to listen. His hand shot out and he grabbed the pictures fast, tearing them from Zack's grip. "Cloud!" Zack shouted and attempted to get them back from him before he had a chance to see them but it was too late. He'd turned away from him and was already looking at the first one. Zack shook his head in frustration and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I've been told there are more photos," Tseng spoke up. "And possibly surveillance footage from the security cameras that were in your cell. But…it's possible my source is lying about the surveillance. He's trying to barter for money after all."

"So what the hell do you need us for, if you have these pictures?" Zack questioned.

"It's not enough," The Turk leader explained. "We need something more tangible. You and Cloud can testify as to what happened. There is physical proof within you that the experimentations were done."

"What physical proof?" Zack questioned, his eyes narrowing.

"Right here," Reno spoke up from where he stood. He took a few steps toward Cloud before grabbing his left arm.

"Hey!" Zack shouted at the same time Cloud dropped the pictures in his hands and tried to retract his arm from Reno. The Turk held on tightly, turning his back to Cloud. Zack made a move to stop Reno but Gage grabbed onto him, holding him fast.

"Let me go!" Cloud demanded as he pushed against Reno's back with his right hand, trying to yank his left arm free. Reno held on tightly with one hand as he pushed up Cloud's sleeve with his other hand.

"Let him go, Reno," Tseng ordered but Reno didn't immediately listen.

"They're gone," Reno said, pushing the fabric of his sleeve up a little higher. "The ports are fucking gone," he added before releasing Cloud's arm. Cloud shoved him away and backed up a few steps. Gage let go of Zack then. He stepped in front of Cloud angrily.

"That's what your fucking plan was based off of?" he shouted heatedly. A few of the Turks looked at one another. "Well I guess it's too damn bad now, you'll have to figure something else out."

"The ports don't matter," Tseng declared then, silencing Zack. In a softer tone he continued. "Do you honestly think you don't have anything else in your bodies with a Shinra serial number on it?"

_Shit_, Zack thought. He was right. There was no doubt they did. Under the surface of their scalps they had metal discs that were implanted by Hojo so they could be subjected to simulation training. There was also a mechanism in them that had allowed Hojo to inflict pain at the touch of a button. As far as he knew, those discs had never been removed. Beyond that, Cloud probably still had the screws in his arm from when it had been broken during a combination mako and steroid experiment. And really, given all the times they were unconscious and had no idea what was being done to them, there could have been other things placed in their bodies without their knowledge.

"That's not all," Tseng said, stepping closer to Zack. "You had many friends, many people who looked up to you before you disappeared. You can win the trust of these people. Of the SOLDIERs."

Zack stared back at him. After a moment he shook his head.

"If you want Rufus for president so badly, you're going to have to do it on your own," Zack said firmly. Tseng didn't look pleased.

"Think about it at least," Tseng suggested. Zack made no indication he would or wouldn't. "Let's go," he said to his co-workers and they started filing out of the apartment, Bowen pausing to collect the pictures that were still on the floor.

"Hey!" Zack spoke up as Reno was about to leave. The Turk turned. "You have something of mine," he said.

"Yeah, yeah," Reno said with a casual wave. "It's outside," he added before heading out. Zack was about to follow him but Tseng stopped him.

"There's something you should know," he spoke, looking from Zack to Cloud. Cloud was sitting on the couch, not looking the greatest.

"What?" Zack questioned tiredly.

"Elena, my partner, is part of the team I was asked to assemble to find you for Hojo. She and a few others don't know of our subordination. They believe we are doing what we've been asked to do. She is supportive of the current president. She will follow the orders that were given, therefore, if she or the others find you or Cloud, they will remand you to Hojo's custody," Tseng explained. "But you can trust us, all who were in this room today," he tried to assure Zack.

"Well no offence, Tseng. But given everything that's happened, I won't ever trust you," Zack declared.

Tseng nodded respectfully. He headed for the door, pausing a moment to turn back. "I'm sorry for your pains," he said. Cloud only looked away when the Turk tried to meet his eyes. Tseng left then, heading back down the stairs to ground level.

"I'll be right back, buddy," Zack said to his friend before following after the Turk. While Tseng and the others departed, Reno and Rude were still outside. Reno was having a cigarette. He threw down what was left when Zack approached him.

"About damn time," Reno said just before Zack grabbed hold of his shirt and pushed him against the wall of the building roughly. Rude was going to step in but Reno gave him a quick signal not to.

"You got something you wanna say, Fair?" Reno asked coolly, his arms hanging at his sides without resistance.

"I'm not gonna forget how you and your partner here participated in Hojo's sick fucking show," Zack seethed.

"So we have our shit to atone for—" Reno began to reply but Zack stopped him, pushing him a little harder into the wall.

"No!" Zack fired at him. "You won't ever be able to make up for that. Even if you actually wanted to."

Reno smirked in response. "Anything else?" he asked smugly.

"Yeah," Zack said in return. "You touch Cloud again and I'll fucking kill you, got it!

"You know how many times I've heard that?" Reno said casually. "You gonna let go of me now?" he asked when Zack still held onto his shirt at his chest. Reluctantly, Zack released him and stepped back. He followed the Turk to his car.

"If only you'd popped the trunk the day you took it for a little joyride," Reno remarked as he walked to the back of the car. He opened the trunk and there was Zack's sword. Reno stepped aside to let Zack take it. "You should reconsider the boss' offer," Reno suggested then.

Zack shook his head. "If you're involved, there's nothing to think about," he said definitively, turning his back on him and heading back up to the apartment.

_000End000_

_Next chapter: Zack and Cloud meet some new faces and problems arise when monetary resources begin to wane._


	18. Note

Hey everyone. This will be a general message that I'm going to upload to all three of my stories so you don't have to read them all if you have all three on alert. I thought I should give a little update because it's been forever since I've submitted. I'm assuming I still have readers.

Well...basically, it's going to take me awhile longer to update. I have a lot going on...a couple jobs, school, etc. and honestly, I'm not all that motivated to write. whileI've gotten good reviews on reclamation and dreams incarnate, I'm getting a fair number of reviews that have been telling me reclamation is either 'boring', 'repetitive', 'slow', 'too AU', not written the way people like it, and so on. obviously I want honest reviews and I appreciate critical feedback but I sometimes can't help rolling my eyes over certain things, things I address in author's notes. I get the feeling a lot of people don't read the notes I leave. And therefore those people probably won't read this one so really I'm probably lecturing to all the readers who actually like my work. I would just like to say, if you do not like the AU plot of the story I'm writing, PLEASE, do not leave me messages complaining about it. I have said a few times that the story will be AU. The end. I mentioned as well that Zack and Cloud would both be in some relationships in the story, so...there's going to be relationships. Also, I've recieved a number of comments on my writing style. I promise to try and stay away from bothersome things like short, fragmented sentences and other mechanisms of emphasis but guys, my writing style is my writing style. I'm sorry if you find it annoying.

Anyway, I'm not going to go on and on. I'll just say that, I understand if you are reading the story and you like the premise but there are things that bother you that you would want to express what you don't like, and that's totally cool with me. I will try my best to please. I believe that's what most of you are doing and that's awesome. But if you seriously just hate the story then don't bother sending me messages that are essentially an all-out bashing when you can just save your breath and stop reading.

All that said, I hope I really didn't offend anyone with this message. You all should know how happy I am that you read the stuff I write, and I really do like writing it. I'm not going to leave and not finish the stories or anything. I've decided what I'm going to do is take time to write several chapters at a time and submit them at one time, that way there's less of a chance of the chapter seeming like 'nothing's going on'. And I may skip through some of the plot I had originally planned out so that there's more action.

I think that's all from me right now. For those waiting on the newer version of RtS, I have been working on it and I'll probably submit several chapters at one the same as the other stories. At least until I have more time to put out single chapters.

Take care, everyone.


	19. Chapter 16

_I am SUCH a liar. I believe I said like a hundred times that I was going to update soon when soon was in fact the twelfth of like NEVER. Anyway, this is an update, but here's where I point out that I LIED again! I said I would submit more than one chapter at once but that's not going to happen tonight. I had planned on spending most of today finishing up a couple chapters when actually I spent most of the day fighting with my computer. I've been having issues with it that has been making it annoying to work with (has registry issues-which if you know what that means you know it's frustrating) so, since I refuse to pay for someone to fix for me something I might be able to fix myself I'm going to attempt to doctor it myself tomorrow morning and hopefully not crash my system. SO, I figured I should put out this chapter while I have it ready just in case and if all goes well I SHOULD have the next chapter ready by Friday night or Saturday (though that may not be true because well...everytime I say the word 'soon' you know what happens). There's a downside of this chapter (for some people I think) in that the chapter isn't really actiony or fast-paced or anything. I have to apologize for that because I didn't want the first update I make in forever to be boring on any level for anyone, but hopefully it's alright and things should pick up a little more in the following chapter. I have mentioned to a few people that I have most of the next two chapters (approximately 40 pages) finished but there's still filler that needs...well filled in._

_On another topic, I have to send out a special thank you to everyone who responded with support to the note I posted awhile back, and to everyone who sent me messages during the very long break between the updates encouraging me to keep writing when I had the chance, and to everyone who reviews in general and who have waited so very patiently for me to continue the story. I promise that my stories are on my mind most days and I have tried to write whenever possible. School is out for me now so I'm hoping that will mean more time to update. _

_The songs for this chapter (in no particular order) are "Army Corps for Architects" by Death Cab for Cutie, "Nevergreen" by Emancipator, "Everything I Once Had" by The Honorary Title, and "Walking in Circles" by Dead by Sunrise. And as always they are in the YouTube playlist. _

_Thanks so much again for waiting around for me, I'm so grateful you came back to continue reading! _

_-Jaydee_

Chapter XVI

Zack had waited until Reno and Rude had departed before making his way back up the stairs to the apartment. He took a moment to slide the sword he'd been robbed of for weeks from its sheath.

"Man, are you a mess," he mumbled as he looked over the tarnished steel. It had never been cared for after that battle he'd had against the Shinra army on the cliffs outside the city and there was a fair amount of blood and dirt dried around the hilt. Sighing, he slid it back into the sheath and headed back into the apartment. Cloud was sitting right where he'd left him, still looking somewhat shocked.

"God…" he muttered as Zack sat on the couch next to him. "They want our_ help_," he added without looking up as he was leaned over, his elbows on his knees.

"No. They want to use us," Zack corrected. Cloud groaned, dropping his head a little lower. Zack looked at him and placed a hand on his back. "You alright, buddy?" he asked after a moment and Cloud turned his head to face him.

"I feel…_pissed_," he said sharply. "And…sick," he added before wiping some sweat from his forehead. "I just—I don't know—how are you not freaking out, Zack?" he asked then and Zack looked away, opening his mouth to reply though nothing came out. Secretly he was freaking out but a part of him was still caught up in the shock of what had just happened. He was angry, but more than anything, he was terrified. The Turks now knew where they were living. They had to leave now, didn't they? He didn't know where they should go. To another apartment? They couldn't leave the city. Not without considering where they would get a hold of Cloud medications in the future. Something that was still at the forefront of his mind was the pictures Tseng had handed him. Those pictures really depicted him and Cloud as the specimens they'd been treated like. He really didn't want anyone to see them. It hadn't really occurred to him to try and keep them, though he didn't doubt there were duplicates.

"I just—I feel like I wanna hit something," Cloud continued when Zack said nothing.

"That's fair," Zack responded softly.

"Reno's face," Cloud added and Zack smirked.

"Fine with me," he said.

There was another brief silence before Cloud asked "What do we do, Zack?"

When Zack met his eyes, he could see that Cloud was truly looking for him to say something that would indicate things could be fixed, that they were fine and still ahead of the game. Yet, all he could come up with was "I don't know." A less than satisfying answer. Cloud lowered his eyes a moment before looking down at Zack's sword, which Zack was holding in front of himself, pressing his forehead to the hilt gripped in his hands.

"It's heavy," he spoke softly, thinking back on the day he'd woken on the cliff where Zack had been shot. He had no idea at the time why he found himself feeling so weak and it had taken a lot of strain and time to drag Zack and the sword down to the valley below where they'd taken shelter at Jacob's.

Without looking up, Zack replied. "Yeah, it was a son of a bitch to get used to," he said flatly. He raised his head and tilted the blade a little, lifting it out of the sheath a few inches before letting it fall back down. Something occurred to him then. "I guess I gave it to you, didn't I?" he spoke with a light smile. He looked at Cloud but his friend said nothing. He slid his hand down the hilt and tilted it in Cloud's direction. Cloud just looked at it before shaking his head.

"It doesn't count. You thought you were about to die," he pointed out.

Zack scoffed. "It does so count," he argued. When Cloud still refused to take it he sighed. "Fine. I'll leave it to you in my will," he said lightly.

"What's the point? Only you could wield the bulky thing," Cloud remarked.

Zack smiled. "That's not true," he retorted. "You handled it quite fine when it came to disposing of a certain general. And Angeal…well it'll only ever really belong to one guy, I guess."

Cloud watched Zack as he seemed to silently admire the weapon while remembering something that made him happy and sad at the same time.

"What do we do?" he asked then, returning to his original question, hopeful that Zack would actually have an answer this time. When Zack said nothing he pushed on. "Do we leave? Try to find someplace else to live?"

"Not sure that would make a difference," Zack said softly, shaking his head.

"Well do you trust them? What if it was all bullshit and they come back here to take us back to Hojo?" Cloud went on.

"I think it's safe to say they're watching us," Zack replied. "And I doubt they'd let us just disappear. And no, I don't trust them."

"So what if they're watching?" Cloud shot back. "Does that really mean we can't lose them again? We're SOLDIER aren't we? We should be able to come up with something!"

Zack just sighed then, which began to quickly anger Cloud.

"How can you just say nothing? Sit there like it's no big deal? Aren't you the least bit scared—" Cloud continued.

"Yeah, Cloud!" Zack said as he stood up fast. "I'm scared! And I don't know what to do about it right now! I don't have all the answers! I just…I need to think." As he finished speaking he turned and headed away into the bedroom. He tossed his sword onto the bed and sat down, resting his elbows on his knees as he ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath.

Back in the living room, Cloud started to rise from the couch but stopped when the heel of his boot slipped a little on something on the floor at the edge of the sofa. He moved his foot and looked down to see the corner of something white sticking out from under the sofa. When he reached to pick it up he realized it was one of the pictures that the Turks had shown them. It must have slipped under the couch when he dropped the small stack.

Turning it over in his hand, he could see it was the picture of himself in the testing cylinder with metal tubes seemingly protruding from his body. He felt a prodding sensation in both his stomach and his head as he looked at it. He could barely remember anything around that time in the lab but he did have some recollection of the first time he'd had those tubes screwed into the implants in his body and the intense hellfire of pain it had caused him. He remembered the way his limbs would gradually become numb and the pain would float away for a short period of time only to return at ten times the intensity later. And he remembered pleading to be set free from himself…but who had he pleaded to? It wasn't Zack. It was someone beyond them.

From somewhere inside his mind he swore he could almost hear the voice of the person who'd helped him mentally escape the lab. A voice that asked _do you remember me yet?_

Though Cloud waited for Zack to tell him what their next move should be, his friend provided no answers. It seemed a given that they'd be risking life whether they stayed or left. Though Zack didn't say as much, Cloud suspected he wanted to believe the Turks were trustworthy.

A decision was never exactly reached. All Zack really said was "Let's wing it for awhile longer", a statement that really didn't sit that well with Cloud but he was willing to follow along. There wasn't much else he could do, besides carry on with life as he'd been trying to live it at present. For a few days Zack seemed reluctant to leave the apartment, almost as reluctant as he was to let Cloud go up to the plate for work. The need for money made that decision for them.

Zack had almost expected to see Turks everywhere he went in the following days but he didn't see one. Still, he had the feeling he and Cloud were still being watched. He suspected Tseng and the Turks under his leadership weren't just going to leave him and Cloud alone, not if their plan to install Rufus Shinra as president of the company was relying heavily on cooperation from them. Afraid to leave home to visit Aerith, Zack felt himself going crazy again with worry. Tseng had mentioned that his partner, Elena, and some of the other Turks, were still looking for him and Cloud as well. That thought had him calling Cloud numerous times during the day and hoping for a distraction to come along. That's when Tifa reminded him of something he'd forgotten years ago. Cloud was about to have a birthday, and Tifa insisted he and Cloud come over for some sort of celebration, though she promised it wouldn't be anything big. Zack was aware when she'd brought it up that Cloud probably had no idea when his birthday was, and he had to remind himself that it was a particularly important one. He was turning twenty and it was something difficult for Zack to even think about. When he looked at Cloud, he could see he was an adult but still he could see the fifteen-year-old he'd been when they'd both been stolen away from the world. Two of those years they'd been hidden away they'd been asleep. What would ordinarily not seem like such a long time seemed much longer when considering their circumstances and the fact that two years is a big leap for a growing teenager. In a way, Cloud had grown up in their captivity, and yet he still seemed like a kid in many ways.

On the night of Cloud's birthday, Zack had called up to Cloud while he was still at work and told him to come down to the bar. He did so without expecting anything. No mention of what day of it was was made until after dinner when Tifa disappeared into the back to retrieve something. A few minutes later, a cake was placed on the table in front of Cloud as Tifa exclaimed "Surprise!" happily. Cloud looked down at the letters written in blue icing. They read 'Happy Birthday Cloud.'

"What?" Cloud said softly without looking up.

"What do you mean 'what'?" Zack asked with a light laugh.

"It's your birthday. You didn't know?" Tifa spoke up as she sat down

Cloud looked up at Zack. "You never said anything," he pointed out.

"Yeah...I know," Zack replied with a bit of a sad expression. "Honestly, I hadn't really thought of it until Tifa brought it up." He looked at Tifa. "It's not like we really celebrated things like that when we were gone."

Cloud returned his gaze to the cake in front of him. "How old am I?" he asked a little hesitantly though it was something he had wondered about several times.

"You're twenty today, buddy," Zack answered.

"That's it?" was Cloud's response. Zack and Tifa both laughed lightly.

"For now, yeah," Zack said as he picked up the knife Tifa had brought out and handed it to his friend. Cloud took it and held onto it a moment as he did some math in his head. Zack had told him before that they'd been taken to the mansion in April just over four years earlier. He would have been fifteen at the time. Something didn't make sense about that. He was supposed to be a SOLDIER, a first class SOLDIER specifically. That's what the color of his uniform indicated. It was one of those details he knew though he didn't know how he knew. It seemed odd that he could be a first class at fifteen. But if he wasn't a first class SOLDIER than that would mean Zack had lied. He couldn't believe Zack would lie about something like that...there had to be an explanation. He must have actually been more skilled than he thought he was.

"Uh, it's not gonna cut itself, Spike," Zack spoke, drawing him out of his thoughts.

"What?" he said, shaking his head.

"I'd like a corner," Zack said, holding his plate out. "Make it big," he added with a grin.

Cloud returned an uneasy smile before cutting into the cake's one corner. He, Zack, and Tifa had only taken a few bites when somewhere outside a vehicle honked a few times in a type of pattern. Tifa's face fell suddenly as she spoke a dreaded "Oh, shit."

"What?" Zack questioned fast.

Joey released a short laugh from behind the bar. "Guess someone's back from the canyon," he remarked.

"Would it kill the guy to call?" Tifa responded, followed up by another curse.

"Uh, hello," Zack spoke up again.

"Um, dammit, you guys better just go…wait in the back for a minute. Just 'till I…just go in the back," Tifa ordered and Zack exchanged glances with Cloud as they stood slowly. Tifa turned and headed for the door.

"Should we be worried?" Cloud questioned and Joey shook his head.

"Naw—well…depends," he replied. Zack just gave Joey an unamused look before prodding Cloud toward the back of the bar.

Tifa had just made it to the door and pulled it open as the man she recognized as an old friend was reaching to open it.

"Barret!" she said in surprise, as if she hadn't been tipped off to his arrival by his signal he'd given with the truck horn.

"Hiya, Teef!" Barret greeted before reaching down to scoop her into a hug, pulling her off the ground about a foot as he did so. It wasn't difficult for a guy of his size.

"Tifa!" she heard a small voice call up to her while Barret was still squeezing her. He let her go and she looked down to see Barret's daughter, Marlene, standing next to him.

"Marlene!" she exclaimed, crouching down to give her a hug. "Look how big you're getting!" she remarked as the gripped the little girl lightly. "I'm so happy to see you," she added.

"I missed you!" Marlene said as Tifa let her go once more.

"I missed you too," she replied before standing. "What are you doing here?" she asked, turning her attention back to Barret.

"That's the welcome I get?" Barret said with a scoff.

Tifa rolled her eyes. "Come on..." she muttered.

Marlene ran past Tifa into the bar. "Hi, Joey!" she called as she passed by. Joey wasn't expecting to see her. He stood up from where he'd been leaning over only to see her disappear through the doors to the back.

"Marlene!" he called after her, but it was a little late as she found herself staring up at two strangers in the back of the bar.

Zack and Cloud both looked down at her in surprise before looking at each other. Neither really knew what to do or say at that moment. The little girl was only at a loss for words for a moment though before asking "Who are you?"

Joey appeared then and took Marlene's hand, leading her back out to the front of the bar.

"Oh….kay…" Zack uttered aloud. They listened through the door then, hearing both Tifa's voice and the voice of a guy who sounded like he could be big.

"Alright, I need a favor," Barret admitted.

"What?" she questioned.

"I need you to look after Marlene for a little while," he revealed.

"What? Why? Where are you going?" Tifa inquired fast.

"I got things I have to do," was the vague answer she got back.

"Like what, Barret?"

"Like jobs that need doing!" he shot back.

Zack and Cloud looked at one another uneasily. It sounded like Tifa and her visitor were arguing about something. In the middle of their exchange was a small voice that said "Tifa, who are the people back there?"

"What people?" the large-sounding man asked. One of the swing doors separating Zack and Cloud from the bar area opened and the little girl stood there pointing in.

"Those people," she said, directing attention to Zack and Cloud. The man they'd heard was as big as he sounded, and well-muscled. To say he was intimidating would be a bit of an understatement. He turned and looked at Tifa expectantly.

"Friends of yours?" he asked sharply before eying Zack and Cloud suspiciously.

"Yeah it's...a bit of a long story," she answered a little hesitantly. He took a step toward them and Zack stood straight to face him, standing a little in front of Cloud.

"You look kinda familiar," Barret said, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah?" Zack spoke back, returning the stare. The man's eyes widened a little then as he took another short step.

"There's mako in your blood," he accused icily. That realization seemed to anger the hulking man rather suddenly. "You friends with SOLDIERs, Tifa?" he called back over his shoulder. Tifa grabbed his one arm and hauled him back a few feet.

"Relax, Barret, they're not SOLDIERs," she stated plainly.

"Then why are they running green?" Barret fired back.

"They're not SOLDIERs!" she insisted.

"Well they gotta have somethin' to do with Shinra!" he argued, turning to face Zack again. "I _hate _Shinra," he added, staring Zack down once more.

"That's funny, so do we," Zack spoke confidently, crossing his arms.

"You tryin' to be smart?" Barret said fast.

"Oh, I know I'm smart," Zack returned, which clearly didn't amuse Tifa's friend.

" Zack!" Tifa said with that tone that told him to shut up.

"Well we'll see how smart you feel after I beat your ass, SOLDIER boy," Barret warned.

"Barret! Enough!" Tifa shouted as she stepped between them and began forcing him back out to the bar area.

"Smarter than you'll look when my mako-infused fist breaks your face," Zack muttered, earning a 'What did you say?' from Tifa's large friend.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Tifa ordered. "Barret, come on, not around Marlene," she suggested and he instantly began to calm. Marlene was standing next to Joey, watching in confusion.

"How can you let Shinra in here, of all places?" Barret asked Tifa in a low tone.

"She told you, we aren't with Shinra," Zack answered before she could.

"Then who the hell are you?" Barret inquired sharply, moving close to Zack. His eyes moved to Cloud briefly once before he turned his attention to him. "Haven't I seen you?" he asked and Cloud just stared back at him. Barret looked back at Tifa. "This is the kid you talked about. The one from your home town?" he said, pointing back at Cloud with his one thumb. "I seen him in pictures you had," he added.

Tifa nodded slowly. "Yeah," she confirmed.

Looking back at Cloud, Barret said, "I thought he was dead."

"So did I," Tifa admitted.

"I think I remember where I seen _you_ now," Barret went on, directing his attention once more at Zack. "You accompanied the psycho SOLDIER general in Nibelheim, right?" Before Zack could say anything, the man continued. "Why you trying to pretend they got nothing to do with Shinra?" he asked Tifa.

"Look," Tifa said with an irritated sigh, "Why don't we go talk about this elsewhere," Tifa suggested, looking at Zack.

"Fine," Zack agreed and Tifa nodded, guiding Barret towards the doors to the back. Zack paused before following, turning to Cloud. "Just wait out here alright?" he said though it wasn't really a question.

"Why?" Cloud replied in confusion.

"Just trust me, alright?" he said as he gave Cloud a reassuring smile and a pat on his back. Cloud stepped back towards the table nearby and sat himself back down in the chair he'd been sitting in earlier, watching as the others walked away into the back. Tifa poked her had back out through the doors once.

"We'll be right back, sweetie," she called to Marlene who nodded and watched them go through the doors to the back of the bar. When they were out of view she watched Joey a moment while he returned to putting glasses away. She turned then to the table where Cloud was sitting, approaching the one chair across from him and climbing up onto it.

"Hi," she said when she was kneeling on the seat, resting her elbows on the table top. Cloud raised his eyes to look at her.

"Hi," he replied quietly, slouching down in his own chair.

"Oh, wow," Marlene spoke in awe as she looked at the cake on the table. "Whose birthday is it?" she asked promptly.

"Mine," Cloud answered a little dully, looking back to where the others had disappeared.

"Happy birthday," the little girl expressed cheerily.

"Thanks," Cloud responded nearly tonelessly, still looking away.

"How old are you?" was the girl's next question. Cloud looked back at her.

"How old are you?" he asked in return.

"I'm four," she answered while holding up four fingers on her one hand. "You seem kinda sad," she pointed out. "Didn't you get what you asked for, for your birthday?"

"I didn't ask for anything."

"Well maybe that's why you're sad. You forgot to ask," she suggested, drawing a raised eyebrow from him. "I'm gonna ask for a puppy this year but I don't think I'll get one."

"Why not?"

"Mm, well, we move around a lot sometimes. Daddy says it'd be hard to take care of a dog. Do you have any dogs? Or cats? Or rabbits? I have a neighbour with rabbits."

"Nope," Cloud denied.

"Not even when you were little?"

Cloud thought about it briefly. There was an easy answer to that. "I don't know."

"What?" the little girl said in confusion. "How do you not know?"

"I don't remember," he clarified.

"How come?" was her next question.

"I'm not sure," he admitted.

"Were you in an accident?" She was alternating between looking at him and the cake.

"Something like that," he agreed. He picked up an unused fork from the table and held it out to her. She looked at him curiously and he motioned to the cake. "Go for it," he said and she took the fork from him with a wide grin.

"I'm Marlene," she announced then as she pushed the fork into the cake. "What's your name?" she asked without looking him, taking her first bite of the cake.

"Cloud," he answered and she immediately giggled. "What?" he inquired seriously.

"That's not your name," she spoke, shaking her head in disbelief. "It's silly," she added.

Cloud couldn't help but half-smile. "Yeah I suppose it is," he agreed.

"I like it though," the little girl claimed.

Outside, at the back of the bar, Barret had just finished listening to a brief summary of how Cloud and Zack were alive and why they were currently at the bar.

"So you got fucked by Shinra then, huh SOLDIER?" the man remarked coarsely. "Well excuse me if I don't exactly feel sorry for you," he added. Zack just rolled his eyes and shook his head, leaning back against the wall of the building.

"Barret, come on," Tifa said, looking at him hard.

"Well why should I? I'm sure he didn't feel sorry for all the people he made suffer in the past," the man rationalized.

"Barret, stop!" Tifa demanded.

"Forget it, Tifa," Zack spoke up finally. "Let him think what he wants. It's fine to say I deserved it," he said by way of agreement though he didn't really believe it. No one should have to go through what he and Cloud did. "But Cloud didn't deserve it."

"He joined the Shinra army out of his own choice didn't he?" Barret asked. The insinuation really made Zack's blood boil.

"He was a kid," he tried to reply as calmly as he could. "And he's never hurt anyone."

"Well that may be, but by the sounds of it you got some Shinra hounds after you, and I don't want Marlene in jeopardy so I'll take her somewhere else," Barret concluded, motioning for the door.

"What? Barret, she's fine here," Tifa argued, stopping him.

"Don't see why it's a problem. You didn't seem to care about leaving her in AVALANCHE headquarters any other time," Zack pointed out, drawing an immediate look of surprise from Barret. He shot his eyes Tifa's way next.

"You told them?" he fired at her.

"He's right," Tifa somewhat deflected. "Marlene's no less safe here now than she was before. Just leave her and go do whatever it is you need to get done.

"I don't want them around her," Barret replied sternly.

"They'll be leaving soon," Tifa assured him, earning her an unimpressed look from Zack.

"Better be," Barret muttered before opening the door back to the bar. Tifa turned before following.

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely and Zack just shrugged.

When they entered the bar area again they could see Marlene sitting at the one table with Cloud, the part of one corner of the cake almost devoured.

"Marlene!" Tifa spoke fast, her tone half surprise, half scolding.

"Cloud said I could," the little girl was quick to defend herself.

Tifa looked at Cloud and smiled. "He did, did he?" Marlene nodded with emphasis. "Well good, you'll have a nice sugar high. That should make putting you to bed fun."

"I'll get her stuff from the truck," Barret called to Tifa as he headed to the front door.

"Come on, Spike," Zack spoke up then to Cloud. "It's time for us to go." Cloud looked at him a little in confusion but said nothing as he stood up from the table.

"Wait a minute," Tifa stopped them. "You don't really have to go," she said quietly to Zack.

"I think your hulk of a friend made it pretty clear—" Zack began to argue but she interrupted him.

"I don't care. He won't know any different when he leaves," she pointed out. "And I have something to give Cloud still."

Cloud and Zack sat themselves back down and waited for Barret to say his goodbyes to Tifa and Marlene. Once he'd left, Joey offered to take Marlene upstairs and get her ready for bed.

"I'm really sorry about Barret," Tifa said when they were alone.

"Whatever," Zack said. "He's entitled to whatever skewed opinion he wants to have."

"Opinion about what?" Cloud inquired and Zack just shook his head.

"Never mind," Zack said by way of dismissal that Cloud really didn't appreciate but wasn't about to make a big deal over at that point.

"Hey." Tifa turned her attention to Cloud. "I have something for you." She got up and went to get something behind the bar. A moment later she placed a wrapped gift on the table in front of him.

"What is it?" Cloud asked.

"A present," she answered as though it were obvious.

"Yeah, but what is it?" he repeated.

"Guess you'll have to open it to see," she suggested.

Hesitantly, Cloud took it in his hands and began to pull the paper off it. When it was uncovered, he was looking down at the back of a picture frame. He turned it over slowly, not sure he really wanted to see what was on the other side. The picture was of two kids, a little girl and a little boy about the age of ten.

"It's me and you," Tifa said as she watched Cloud closely for any kind of change in his expression or emotion. All she got was a brief glance from him.

"Thanks, Tifa," Zack said for him, sensing he wasn't really about to form words any time soon. In fact, Cloud seemed to grow rather uncomfortable in an instant, which was confirmed when Cloud finally spoke, though not about the gift.

"I'm kinda tired," he said softly, not really looking at Tifa. "I gotta be up early," he added.

"Yeah, we should go," Zack agreed and Cloud stood promptly to put on his jacket, setting the picture frame down on the seat of the chair. "Thanks for doing all this, Tifa," Zack expressed a bit of half-sincere gratitude once more. He wasn't entirely sure the picture was a good idea. Cloud still seemed iffy when it came to being faced with things he hadn't yet remembered. Zack also didn't know if a picture like that would suddenly bring back memories of Nibelheim to his friend, which would then tell him Gongaga wasn't really his hometown. Oh, and that he'd lied to Cloud about it.

"Thanks," Cloud uttered barely audibly as they turned to leave.

"No problem," Tifa said as she watched them head to the door. "Happy birthday, Cloud," she called once more and Cloud just flashed her a quick, forced shadow of a smile before they left the bar.

As they were walking home, Zack tried to break the silence with an apology.

"Sorry, Spikey," he said, drawing a look from Cloud.

"Why?" Cloud questioned as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Probably wasn't a good idea having you come to Tifa's for all...that," Zack explained.

"It was fine," Cloud argued. "Just...weird," he added.

"Fair enough," Zack replied, nodding. "Next year we'll get drunk instead," he joked. "And while you're passed out I'll shave your head and draw all over you with a permanent marker," he said, putting his one arm around Cloud's neck and pulling him toward him as he messed up his hair with his other hand.

"Get lost!" Cloud called out, pulling out of Zack's grip. "Jerk," he muttered, smiling as he smoothed down his hair, only to have some of the spikes bounce back up lightly. "When's your birthday?" he asked and Zack chuckled.

"Hell no, I'm not telling now. Not after seeing what you were subjected to tonight," he said, shaking his head.

"Come on, Zack, tell me," Cloud urged but Zack wasn't giving in. It wasn't until they had gotten into bed a little later that a date floated into Cloud's mind and he cut into the silence with the two words "April eleventh." Zack groaned without moving his head from where it was pressed into the pillow. "I remembered," Cloud spoke with a slight grin.

"Feel free to forget again," was Zack's muffled reply. Cloud smiled, though Zack didn't see. His smile faded after a moment though as he felt suddenly a little confused about something.

"It's weird," he started and Zack finally turned to face him.

"What is?" he asked, yawning as he was trying not to drift off.

"I dunno, I just...now that I think of it, I feel like it's _my_ birthday that's April eleventh..." he said with a look of contemplation. He shifted his eyes to meet Zack's, and looked at him with a question in his expression.

Zack didn't really know what to say to that at first. He sort of shrugged before turning back over. "Yeah, that is weird," he said casually, though he couldn't help thinking it was another case of Cloud integrating things that his friend knew about him into his own life. He already thought he was from Gongaga, that he had parents and that he was a first class SOLDIER, why not think his birthday was in April. _When do I tell him the truth? _he asked himself without answer. He was thankful that Cloud didn't say anything more that night, though he found it a hell of a lot harder to sleep after what his friend had told him. He wasn't able to really sleep until around 4am and must have been so exhausted by six that he didn't hear Cloud leave for work in the morning.

His thoughts of the Turks were weighing heavy on him when he went down to the repair shop that morning. He could care less about Tseng's agenda and although he didn't trust the Turk leader or any of the people he lead, Zack preferred to believe that at the very least he and Cloud didn't have to worry about being sent back to Hojo by the few Turks that were apparently working as insubordinates with Tseng. And then there was Elena and the others, the ones who apparently were trying to find them with the purpose of imprisoning them again.

He had to admit, something he was a little surprised at was the fact that Tseng hadn't tried a second time, as of yet, to get them to cooperate with him and help his team with their plan to replace the president. It didn't really matter, he had bigger things to worry about, an important one of which was the fact that the money he and Cloud had was on the way to disappearing faster than he could make it.

The next time that Cloud was out of medication, which didn't take long, Zack found himself dreading looking upon the ever-shrinking stash he kept in the dresser. He sighed as he opened the top drawer and moved around some clothing to uncover the roll of money he had been keeping there. As much as he really did hate the fact that Cloud worked up on the plate, he was grateful they had the second income. His was barely covering everything. Cloud had offered a few times to give up some of what he was earning to pay for his medication but Zack had repeatedly refused the offer. For some reason he felt the need to be the one to take care of it.

For the time being, Cloud seemed to be functioning fine on one dose of the medication a day. Perhaps soon he would be able to cut it down to every other day and then maybe once a week. But the truth was there was no way of knowing how long it would be before he wouldn't need to be medicated at all. He'd tried a few times to go on one dose a day but it didn't seem to work out too well for him. It was taking a lot longer than the doctor had suggested it would take for him to restrict his dosages. He should have been taking it once a week now according to the doctor's forecast. It wasn't worth trying to rush it though.

Zack made his way up to the plate less than enthusiastically. He hated having to go up there, feeling like he was being noticed and watched everywhere he went. He didn't understand how Cloud could handle it. Then again, Cloud hadn't spent much time in Midgar and hadn't known as many people. Zack had run into Kunsel up there and he felt like it was only a matter of time before he ran into someone else he knew.

Having to go down into Scorch's club was no pleasant experience either. He felt trapped whenever he had to go down into the basement to meet with the dealer, and it was an event that took place more often than he would have liked.

It was stifling hot now in the middle of August, even at night. He had never really noticed before when he used to live up there that the heat brought out the smell of mako in the refineries and nearby reactor. It was faint, probably too faint for the normal person to notice. But he had hyper-enhanced senses now and could smell just that little bit of the earthy, organic, compost-like odour. It made him feel sick instantly, his stomach twisting and recoiling, his mouth becoming dry as it was suddenly a little more difficult to swallow. It was strange, but he really felt the mako was a part of him. So many times had it been forced upon him; vapour, showers, injections by vein and spinal column. Green, green, and more green.

He cleared his throat and pulled at the front of his t-shirt a little as he pushed aside his distracting thoughts and tried to ignore his stomach's sudden need to retch. By the time he made it to the club he was actually happy to get inside, away from the smell. The place had just opened and was blaring the usual music. Thankfully it wasn't as loud at the back and you could barely hear it down in the basement. Scorch's room down there where he did business must have been sound-proofed or something as the music seemed to disappear altogether when he stepped inside.

"Well well, if it isn't my most mysterious customer," Scorch commented upon seeing Zack come through his door. "What will it be?" he asked when one of his men had closed the door to the room once again.

"You know what," Zack answered flatly.

Scorch hummed in momentary thought. "You know, if you're going to be needing a continuous supply of this product, which I suspect you will, the price is going to have to change."

"What are you talking about?" Zack replied fast.

"It's not the easiest to get a hold of—" Scorch went on to explain.

"But not impossible. You said you could get it." Zack was starting to panic though he tried not to let it show. "It wasn't a problem before," he pointed out.

"I think if you knew what was involved in getting it you'd understand better"

"Well how much more are we talking here?" Zack asked, afraid of the answer he was going to get.

"You could be looking at upwards of a hundred," the dealer revealed. Zack's mouth dropped open despite his best efforts to keep it closed.

"For ten mils?" he asked and Scorch nodded, confirming what he already knew. He laughed dryly at the situation he was going to find himself in and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his forehead with his one hand.

"You know this stuff isn't in abundance, right? There's no stock piles. Part of what you're paying goes toward ensuring someone will actually keep manufacturing it," Scorch explained. When Zack said nothing he offered a suggestion. "You seem to want this pretty badly. I'm a reasonable man. I wouldn't be opposed to working out a deal."

"A deal?" Zack spoke, an eyebrow raised sceptically.

"Mmhmm," the dealer hummed. "A deal whereby you may pay at a later date...but with a little extra in interest."

"No," Zack said with next to no thought. "I'll take what you got today and I'll figure out another way."

"Sure," Scorch agreed. "You could. You could try to get the drug yourself, but that would put you pretty close to a Shinra-operated institution, which I'm guessing is one of those things you probably like to avoid." Zack really didn't have anything to say to that at the moment. "Well," the man said when Zack didn't reply, "think about it," he suggested. "There you go," he said as one of his men handed a cloth bag to Zack. In it were two of the bottles of Cloud's medicine and something else. An orange pill container. He reached into the bag to retrieve it.

"What's this?" he asked, holding the container in his hand. There was no label on it.

"A peace offering," Scorch answered with a small shrug. "A little something for yourself."

"What is it?" Zack repeated.

"Don't worry, you'll find it satisfactory. I can read people well," the dealer assured him.

Exhaling deeply, Zack stood up and set the bottle down on the coffee table. "I don't want it," he declared firmly.

"Maybe not now—" Scorch began.

"Not ever," Zack interrupted. Angrily, he headed for the door, forced to stop and wait for one of Scorch's men to open it to let him out. He didn't look like he was going to move. He turned around and was surprised to see Scorch had risen off the couch and had picked the pill bottle up from the coffee table. Zack watched him approach.

"Take it with you," the dealer seemed to order him. "You can decide on what you want to do with them later," he added. He looked at Zack expectantly, waiting for him to take the bottle out of his hand.

"Fine," Zack said at last, giving up his resistance and taking the bottle. "Can I go now?" he asked sharply. Scorch gave a faint smile and nodded to the man at the door who stepped aside and pulled the door open. Zack didn't waste any time leaving the room. When he exited the back door of the building he set the orange pill container down on the lid of a trashcan outside and began to head away from the building towards the train station.

"Hey!" a voice called from behind him when he'd made it halfway down the street. "Ex-SOLDIER!"

He stopped and looked back, seeing Rayna, the girl he'd come to assume was Scorch's girlfriend, walking fast toward him.

"What?" he said in annoyance when she'd reached him.

"You forgot this," she announced as she held up the orange container of pills he'd left behind.

"No I didn't," he denied. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I left it on purpose," he divulged, though she'd known as much. "I told your boyfriend I don't want it," he added sharply.

"He's not my boyfriend," she corrected.

"Coulda fooled me with the way you 'handle' each other," Zack argued, turning and moving forward again.

"Well maybe we have a physical relationship. That doesn't make him my 'boyfriend'. I haven't had one of those since junior high," she remarked.

"I think there's a name for girls like you," Zack spoke back over his shoulder.

"Oh, of course, men can do whatever they want with whomever but if a woman decides she wants to do the same then she must be a tramp. Is that right?" Rayna shot back, still following him.

Zack paused a moment to face her. "Alright, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sure you're a nice girl," he included, rolling his eyes a little before turning away again.

"Hey!" She grabbed his arm and stopped him once more. When he looked at her she was holding the pill container out for him to take. "Don't refuse Scorch's offerings. It's disrespectful."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Disrespectful? You think I care?"

"Yeah, I do. Believe me when I say he's the only one who can get what you're looking for. And given what you need it for, I'd say you're pretty desperate to have it."

Zack looked down at her with narrowing eyes. "What do you know about it?" he said with a shrug.

"I'm not an idiot. I know what the drug's used for," Rayna fired back at him. "From looking at you, I'd say you're not the one who needs it, and it's an awful lot of money to spend on something for someone who doesn't matter. I'm thinking if you really care about whoever it is who does need the drug that you'd want to make sure you treat the one supplying it with as much respect as possible."

Zack was quiet a moment before he replied. "Do you think _I'm _an idiot?" he asked rhetorically. He grabbed the pills from her hand roughly. "You don't think I know what this is really about?" he said, holding it up. "I know how this game works. The drug that I'm paying for currently isn't exactly addictive, is it? Which means I have no real reason to keep buying from your 'not-boyfriend' when I don't need it anymore." He dropped the container to the ground then and turned to head away once more. Rayna leaned over and picked it back up before continuing to follow.

"You were an addict once," she stated without question.

"I know what addiction is like, yes," he corrected. He knew it better than he wished he did, thanks to Hojo. He still missed the rushes he'd gotten from some of the drugs he'd been pumped with in the lab.

"It doesn't always have to about the high, you know," she declared and Zack halted once more, facing her with clear annoyance. "It's about control too," she said, taking a few steps closer to him, stopping right in front of him, mere inches separating them. She looked up at him as she went on. "You control your pleasure," she said softly. "Your escape. It frees you."

He couldn't help staring into her dark eyes. He found them easily captivating. He thought about her words. He certainly didn't remember feeling that 'free' when he was given drugs in the lab.

"Thanks," he responded finally. "But no thanks. I got enough problems right now," he added, taking a step back from her and tearing his eyes off hers. He turned away for the last time and began to make his way back to the station. Rayna smiled and headed back toward the club.

000

Cloud lay in the dark in bed, staring up at the ceiling and the few shadows that were being cast by the little bit of light that made it in through the one window. A lot of things were going through his mind, none of which he really wanted in there at the moment. They were all worrisome things. Things involving the past and the future and terrors that seemed to exist in both. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, telling himself to just stop thinking and go to sleep. He wasn't particularly tired but he had to be at work in the morning.

As he lay with his eyes closed, he thought he could hear something. It was subtle, but he thought it sounded like scratching. It sounded like it was coming from above. He opened his eyes and looked toward the one corner of the ceiling where he thought the sound must have been coming from. The scratching stopped almost immediately when he turned his eyes in the direction. He waited a few moments, listening hard before scoffing.

"Stupid mice," he muttered aloud as he closed his eyes again. As he did so, the scratching began again, louder this time, and this time when he opened his eyes, he thought he saw something pass across the ceiling as if scurrying from one shadow to another. It startled him, making his breath catch in his throat. Whatever it was, it was bigger than a mouse and he could hear it breathing now as his heart began beating harder in his chest.

He strained his eyes looking into the one corner of the ceiling that seemed to be the darkest. So dark his mako vision couldn't get through it, which seemed impossible. The scratching began again, even louder than before, and faster, as if whatever it was was trying to dig its way out through the wood.

Cloud raised himself onto his elbows slowly. He kept his eyes on that corner the entire time he began reaching across the bed to try and get to the lamp on the night stand. Before his hand could touch it, the thing in the corner ceased its scratching abruptly and through the darkness there came a low grumble, almost like a growl. It was an unnerving sound that made Cloud halt his actions and just stare upwards.

"What are you?" he whispered, his voice trembling slightly. He was able to decipher something in the darkness then. He couldn't be sure but he thought they looked like eyes...

Without warning the light in the ceiling came on, forcing Cloud to shut his eyes against the sudden brightness as he fell back onto the mattres.

"Shit!" a familiar voice exclaimed as the lights went out again as suddenly as them came on. Zack was back home. "Sorry, Spike!" he said fast. "It was reflex, I wasn't think—"

"Turn it back on," Cloud interrupted, desperate to see what it was that had been in the corner. The light came on and he forced his eyes open against the sting before looking towards the corner. Nothing.

Zack watched him in confusion before following his line of sight. "What...are we looking at?" he asked.

"Uhh..." Cloud began, not sure what he should say. "Nothing, I...I think there's some mice in the ceiling," he concluded. That's what he wanted to believe anyway. He didn't want to believe he'd just imagined what he'd heard and seen.

"Well, that's a surprise," Zack spoke sarcastically as he stood in front of the dresser in the room and reached into the bag he'd been holding onto, feeling around for the bottles of medication. He set them down on the dresser top and noticed immediately something was still in the bag. Peering in, he caught sight of an orange container. "You gotta be kidding me," he said aloud, realizing that Scorch's not-girlfriend must have slipped it back into the bag before she'd walked away from him earlier. He looked back over his shoulder, having expected Cloud to have heard him and wondered what he was looking at. His friend seemed a little distracted, still looking up at the ceiling. Zack opened the top drawer of the dresser and shoved the bag containing the bottle of pills into the one back corner before closing it again and turning to his friend. "Pretty sure they won't get you," he remarked and Cloud looked at him.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"The mice," Zack clarified, taking his shirt off and tossing it into the corner with the other dirty clothes.

Cloud smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "I know."

Zack smiled back, shaking his head. He reached for the light switch, turning the light off once again. Cloud listened to him as he finished getting undressed and got into bed. The whole time, he couldn't help but let his eyes linger on the ceiling.

"Kinda thought you'd be asleep by now, Spikey," Zack said as he was getting himself comfortable.

"So did I," Cloud replied. "Suddenly I'm not so tired," he added.

"You wanna talk about anything?" Zack asked.

"No," Cloud denied. He changed his mind after a few moments of silence. "That stuff's expensive isn't it?" he asked, drawing an inquisitive sound from Zack. "The medicine," he clarified.

"I guess," Zack answered after a moment. "Doesn't really matter how much it is if it's working," he pointed out then.

"Yeah I guess," Cloud agreed softly. "Did the doctor tell you if there were any side effects?" he questioned hesitantly.

"Uh...a few possible ones," Zack answered through a yawn.

"Like what?" Cloud pushed.

"Like...I think there were several possible ones but something like muscle weakness and hallucinations were most likely."

_Oh, good_, Cloud thought to himself. _So I'm not going crazy, I'm just seeing things that aren't there_.

"Why are you asking?" Zack inquired then.

"No reason. I just...my arms are sore, thought maybe that was a side effect," he partially lied. They were sore, but he didn't think for a second it had anything to do with the medication.

"Or it's from having them poked with a sharp object every day," Zack suggested.

That's the reason Cloud already knew to be true.

"Anything else bothering you, Spike?" Zack asked.

"Nope," Cloud said definitively.

"Goodnight then," Zack said back as he turned over onto his side.

"Night," Cloud uttered quietly.

He should have mentioned that he suspected he'd been hallucinating. That day he got hit by the car because he thought he saw Sephiroth. Tonight, when he thought he saw something on the ceiling...but he just didn't think any good could come from telling. The medication was working. He didn't want to cause unnecessary worry by complaining about a few little hallucinations...

_000End000_

_Next Chapter: Relationships hitting rocky ground and a confrontation with a Turk gets violent_


	20. Chapter 17

_Hey everyone. So my apologies for not having this out sooner. I had a crazy/weird/sad/tiring few weeks haha. Let's see, there was a spontaneous roadtrip, a member of my family passed away after a long run with cancer, then me and some of my other family members had to work on renovating said passed family member's home so that it could be in good selling condition, then I got a really awesome but incredibly physically demanding job that is absolutely kicking my ass and now, probably because of all that has gone on in the weeks before, I'm sick haha! So, anyway, this chapter's pretty long at least. I'm sorry if there's mistakes in it or if a few parts seem to not flow right. I finished it today in between cold virus-induced naps. Something I also meant to mention before is that I have used my user page to put up updates in the recent past. I'll probably do that some more, so if you're wondering how a story is coming along you can check there and I might have posted something. I'll probably add an update tomorrow regarding Dreams Incarnate and the revised Reduced to Specimens. I'm hoping that once I'm adjusted to my new job that I won't need to pass out in bed as soon as I get home and sleep for 12 hours. That way I'll be able to write in the evenings. But for about two weeks I wouldn't expect to see any chapters from me. ALSO, one more thing. I'm going to respond to your reviews from last chapter but I keep getting these error messages when I try to click on the 'reply' link so...I'll find another way to reply...tomorrow after work...if I'm not dead XD_

_Songs for the chapter, again in no particular order are 'Choices' by USS, 'Sail' by Awolnation, 'Many of Horror' by Biffy Clyro, 'Namaste' by Rich Batsford, 'I Would Never Change' by All Found Out', 'Blue Skies over Badlands' by Matthew Good, 'Pyro' by Kings of Leon, and 'Le Fin' by Sintellect. And these are **not **in the youtube playlist YET but I shall add them tomorrow...again if I'm not dead. _

_Cheers_

**_Edit:_**_ I forgot to mention, 'I Would Never Change' and 'Le Fin' aren't on YouTube. You can listen to them at here www . thesixtyone . com /#/s/9sjnlmKhjz5/, and here www . thesixtyone . com /#/s/jtaoY36oRFq/__ without spaces of course. _

Chapter XVII

A few little hallucinations turned out to be the start of something more worrisome than Cloud had imagined. It began to seem that every other night he was listening to the persistent scratching in the ceiling though only on the nights that Zack came in late. During the day, Cloud had been seeing General Sephiroth, but unlike the time he'd seen him plain as day walking toward him on the street he only ever caught brief sight of the general out of the corners of his eyes, in the glass of car and store windows, reflected in puddles on the street. He felt followed all the time, though he didn't suppose it was only to do with his mind playing tricks on him. He'd seen cars now and then that seemed out of place, mostly by the construction site when he was working and sometimes by the apartment. His best guess was that the Turks were keeping an eye on him and Zack. The good Turks, if they could even be called that. The ones who weren't trying to send them back to Professor Hojo. In Cloud's mind, that made them good enough, though he didn't trust them. He might have talked to Zack about it but seemed to be in his own world, and a happy one at that. It was becoming typical for Zack to spend several hours with Aerith and not return until late in the evening or early morning. Cloud wouldn't have minded it so much if he wasn't a little worried that he was having a psychological breakdown. Anytime he tried to mention it, he felt guilty, like he was going to burden Zack with something he wouldn't be able to do anything about anyway.

Still, he was beginning to get a little restless, which is probably why he made a less than good decision the one night regarding Addley. He'd just gotten a call from Zack that he was going to be spending the night with Aerith and Cloud wasn't exactly happy about it. Shortly after, he got another call. He recognized the number as belonging to Addley.

He answered a little uneasily. It was the first time Addley had called him.

"Zack?" she spoke almost shakily. It didn't sound right.

"Yeah? Is something wrong?" he asked, leaning forward on the couch a little.

"Uh...I, um, I'm in the slums, at the station in Sector Six," she announced to Cloud's surprise.

"Okay, wh-why?" he dared to question.

"It's uh..." She sounded like she was about to start crying. "I really need to see you right now," she said softly.

Cloud thought about it. He knew he really shouldn't do it, but he knew he was going to anyway.

"Alright, I'll come down there," he agreed.

"Thanks," she replied fast.

"Be there soon," he said before ending the call and retrieving his boots. It took a little while to get to the station on foot. When he finally got there, he could see Addley sitting on one of the benches. She had a duffle bag with her. _That can't be good_, Cloud thought to himself as he crossed the street towards her. When she saw him she just smiled a little before averting her eyes.

"Hey," he greeted when he'd reached her.

"Hey," she replied quietly before beginning to cry suddenly. Slowly, Cloud sat down next to her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

At first she said nothing, but after a moment she calmed a little and spoke, still not looking at him. "I got a phone call tonight from someone. I think it was my ex."

"You think?" Cloud questioned, shaking his head.

"He didn't say anything. I just...there was just this breathing on the other end of the line and I dunno. Don't ask me how I know, I just...feel it," Addley explained.

"But he's in prison, you said," Cloud pointed out. "So there's nothing to worry about right?"

"I dunno," Addley retorted, finally meeting his eyes. "What if he's not?" Cloud really didn't know how to answer that. "God," she exclaimed, looking away again. "The thought that he knows where I am, whether he's out or not...it scares me, Zack. I helped put him away. He tried to kill me once. What if he's looking to try again? Or what if he has someone else looking for me? I couldn't stay at the motel and I didn't know of any place else to go that would feel safe."

Cloud nodded in understanding. "So you came here?" he asked, smirking a little. "This is safe to you?" She looked at him and smiled through her tears.

"You're safe to me," she said, making him redden a little with embarrassment. "Can I stay with you?" she asked then.

Cloud grew serious again quickly. "Uh, Addley," he began, shaking his head slowly. "I don't think...that—"

"Please? Just tonight, I just need time to think. Please?" she begged.

"It's not a good idea," Cloud pointed out, though he knew she couldn't see the reasons that were obvious to him. First and foremost, Zack would flip out if he brought her to the apartment.

Addley took his hand then. "Please," she said once more, tears brimming her lids, threatening to spring. She really was scared and Cloud had no idea how he was supposed to tell her no. Zack wasn't going to be back until morning. Not until 7 a.m. at least. There was time. She could stay until 6 and he could get her out before Zack got back. He'd never know the difference.

"Okay—" he started to say and her face lit up happily. "But you have to be out early," he added.

"'Cause of your brother?" she questioned. Cloud had no idea what she must have thought of Zack. He hadn't talked about him much, but he was usually the excuse Cloud used when he needed to leave Addley.

"We don't really have people over," he said, not putting all the blame onto Zack. He didn't really like people over at their apartment either.

"I'd kind of like to meet him," Addley told him and he shook his head.

"It's not a good time," he responded fast.

"Alright, I understand. I'll leave early in the morning then." She smiled as she stood up, still holding his hand. He followed, picking up the bag she'd come with and beginning to lead her back to the apartment.

000

"And there he goes," Rude said, watching Zack as he crossed the street ahead of them and made his way up the steps of the old church. "So predictable," he commented. "I'd like to know how it is Elena hasn't figured out Fair's been visiting his girlfriend nearly every night the past few weeks."

"Last I heard, she and her boys were investigating a sighting of the targets in some dinky town near Costa del Sol," Reno answered before sighing loudly. "This has got to be the most boring job there is," he remarked before looking at his watch for the hundredth time.

"Agreed," Rude replied dully. "But as it turns out, we're the only ones not engaged elsewhere."

"Still, it seems that somehow we're always the ones stuck on watch," Reno pointed out. He stared out across the street.

"Not true," Rude argued. "And, you know the boss likes to be the watch at this location. Be happy it's different than the other places we've had to sit around outside of."

"How long do you think it'll be before the boss decides to resort to blackmail and ends this whole stake-out business?" Reno questioned.

"Meaning?" his partner inquired.

"Meaning, he could just tell Fair to cooperate or he'll be taking a nice trip back to the outskirts of Nibelheim," Reno clarified. He looked over at Rude when he didn't immediately respond and received a hard look. "What?" Reno questioned. "Don't look at me like it's not gonna come to that. Tseng's only got patience for so long."

"He's changed," Rude argued. "We all have."

"What're you saying, partner?"

"Just what I said. People change...and having the president replaced maybe isn't important enough to resort to threatening to send Fair and Strife back to what was probably hell."

A smile crept over Reno's face.

"What?" Rude asked.

"You're getting soft," Reno said with amusement.

"No, I'm not," Rude fired back fast.

"Sure you are," Reno insisted. "What's up with that?"

"You don't think that maybe things went a little overboard at that mansion?" Rude said and Reno looked away.

"Oh, come on," he scoffed.

"You remember what we were told back then when we were brought into the mansion to assist the professor?" Rude asked and continued when Reno said nothing. "That they were conspirators involved in a plot to defame Shinra and take away their power by destroying reactors. Moles working for the Shinra corporation."

"Well...I never really believed that," Reno confessed. "Fair was genuinely devoted to the company."

"Well I believed it," Rude admitted. "And it was a lie. Now look at us. We're trying to force the president out of his station of control, conspiring to defame Shinra by exposing the secrets of the mansion. Does that mean—"

"What?" Reno cut him off. "That we should be locked up in the mansion? Turned into freaks?" Rude didn't respond. "That's not why they were locked up. I dunno about Strife, but I think Fair was exactly where he was supposed to be when Hojo found them."

"Why?" Rude said back.

Before Reno could respond, there was a loud thud on the roof of the vehicle that made them both jump a little in surprise. Zack appeared at Reno's window.

"Where the hell did he come from?" Rude wondered aloud. They hadn't seen him come from the front of the church so he must have come out a different way. Zack had, in fact, noticed their car on his way in and had to confirm that he was being watched. He'd made his way out a back exit and headed down a parallel street so he could come up from behind and observe them. He'd recognized the car to be Reno's and had decided finally to confront him.

"Roll it down, Reno," he said through the glass, twirling his finger in a motion that indicated what he was asking. Reno glanced at Rude first and rolled his eyes.

"How'd he know it was us?" he muttered before beginning to lower the darkened window. Zack leaned in slightly. "Hey Fair, what's shakin'?" Reno asked casually.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zack fired at him sharply.

"What does it look like?" Rude retorted.

"Looks like you're trying to spy on me," Zack said plainly.

"What gives you that idea?" Reno questioned with a grin.

"Cut it out," Zack spoke sternly.

"Oh, don't be like that," Reno replied.

"Yeah," Rude agreed. "Think of it as protection."

"Yeah, whatever," Zack said fast. "I don't want you following me or Cloud around, so stay away from us," he ordered.

Reno stared back at him, his smirk ever-present. As Zack stood straight and turned to walk away, he called after him. "Oh hey, speaking of the baby boy, you know he's been cheating on you?"

Zack paused and turned back. "What?" he said in annoyance.

"Yep," Reno said, nodding. "Looks like he got himself a little mistress. They seem to like hanging out at this one motel up there on the plate. You know what that means." Reno winked and Zack frowned. "What?" Reno asked then. "You don't believe me?" He reached for something in the vehicle. "Come here," he instructed and Zack hesitated a little before stepping up next to the car again and leaning down slightly to see Reno was holding his phone and appeared to be looking for something on it. A moment later he held it up for Zack to see. There was a picture on there of Cloud and some blonde-haired girl standing out front of what looked like a motel room door.

Zack turned his eyes on Reno. "You've been photographing us?" he said with a little surprise and anger in his tone.

"Obviously," Reno replied. Zack reached for the phone but Reno withdrew in from his reach fast. "Ah ah, I don't think so."

"You're gonna delete those," Zack said firmly.

"Uh, no I'm not," Reno argued. "Just relax, Fair, we're not showing them to anyone you need to be worried about. You should probably be more worried about the little Cloudy boy. I'd be makin' sure he knows who he's rockin' the bed with."

Zack leaned in a little closer. "I don't need you to tell me what to make sure of. Get the hell away from here, and if you insist on stalking us, you better make sure I can't see you, or next time I'll torch your piece of crap vehicle, with or without you in it."

Reno smiled. "Whatever you say, Fair," he spoke calmly. "Have a good night, say 'hi' to Aerith for me," he added.

Zack looked at him and Rude with distain before turning away and leaving, looking back only once to see the Turk's car rolling away slowly down the street. After his brief encounter with the men, he couldn't get off his mind the picture he'd seen. Cloud had never mentioned he'd been spending time with a girl. A few times he'd said he was seeing a friend, someone he worked with, but he'd just assumed the friend to be a guy. He thought about calling Cloud again to talk but decided he'd rather talk to him in person about it so he left Aerith's church earlier than he'd planned and headed back to the apartment.

000

Back at the apartment, Cloud was sitting with Addley on the couch while they watched television. She was leaning against him, her cheek and one hand resting on his chest.

"I can't believe you only get two clear channels down here," she commented and Cloud just smiled a little. "Seriously, how do you handle it?"

Cloud shrugged. "I dunno. I'm not picky I guess," was his answer. He hadn't really been paying all that much attention anyway. He was tired, but he didn't want to doze off on Addley. Plus, he still hadn't taken his medication for the night. He'd been delaying it since he got home from work. Glancing at his watch, he decided he best get it over with. He started to get up, waiting for Addley to move herself.

"Where you going?" she asked.

"Nowhere," he answered her as he came to a stand. "I'll just be a minute," he assured her as he headed into the bedroom. He closed the door a little and went to the dresser. The medicine bottles were on top but he couldn't see the syringes. In the partial darkness of the room, he opened the top drawer of the dresser and felt around inside, looking for them. His fingers touched a bit of fabric he didn't recognize so he grasped onto it to pull it out of the drawer. In his hand was a cloth bag with something in it. He reached inside the bag and retrieved its contents, finding himself holding a pill container. He turned it in his hand, looking for a label or some indication of what the pills were but there was nothing. Where had it come from? Zack had to have known it was there, he had to have been the one to put it there, but why?

"Zack?" Addley called from the living room.

"Just a second," he called back, dropping the container back into the bag and shoving it back into the drawer, he found the syringe he was looking for and rushed to prepare the injection, fearing Addley would walk in on him any moment. As he inserted the needle into his arm and began injecting the fluid he heard the familiar sound of scratching coming from above him. He looked up slowly, fixing his eyes on the dark ceiling.

"Zack?" Addley called a second time, but this time she was closer, just outside the room. Cloud tore his gaze away from the ceiling and pulled the syringe from his arm fast, nearly dropping it as he concealed it behind him and turned to face Addley as she pushed the door open. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Nothing," Cloud lied, discretely dropping the syringe in his hand onto some clothing lying on the floor by the dresser.

"Is this the only bedroom?" Addley inquired then as she looked around the room.

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed, walking toward her.

"So, you share a bed with your brother?" she asked next.

"Uh, I sleep on couch," he said before prodding her out of the room. He watched her sit back down on the couch and look at him expectantly. "I'm just...I just need to use the bathroom," he said softly and she nodded, following him with her eyes as he moved away.

Inside the bathroom Cloud stood at the sink and rubbed his face. He felt cold suddenly, trembling as he thought about the fact that it seemed to be getting to the point where he couldn't be in the bedroom longer than five minutes without imagining that damn scratching noise. Why it only occurred there, he had no idea. After a moment, he started the shower and got in, standing in front of the spray of water, feeling the warmth of it hit the front of his body while he got lost in his thoughts. He heard the door to the bathroom open a few minutes later but didn't move or motion to turn off the shower, just stood there and listened to the sounds of Addley getting undressed. She stepped into the shower behind him and he looked down as he felt her hands on his sides, moving towards his stomach as she slowly wrapped her arms around him.

"Are you okay?" she asked. He turned his head to look at her over his shoulder.

"Mmhm," he hummed, giving a half-smile before facing forward again. He couldn't tell her what he was really thinking about, couldn't tell her what was bothering him. He felt her placing gentle kisses on the back of his shoulders. He knew that he should be returning the affection but for some reason he just felt disconnected. He chalked it up to not getting the best sleep lately. After another few minutes, he turned around and gave Addley a quick kiss before stepping out of the shower and covering himself with a towel. He reached for the door knob and was nearly shocked into jumping when he opened it and found Zack standing there looking back at him, his arm raised as if he'd just been about to knock.

"Hey, buddy," Zack greeted as he lowered his arm.

"Hey," Cloud breathed out, sure that a wave of guilt was on its way to his face.

"You, uh, gonna turn that shower off?" Zack asked then as he tilted his head toward it.

"Oh, uh—" Cloud began to respond when the shower suddenly shut off. Cloud glanced back before looking once again at Zack. His brow was furrowed as he stared at the shower curtain.

"Huh. Imagine that," he said.

"Zack! Where's the towels?" Addley called. Cloud knew his face was getting red.

"Is uh…she calling _me_?" Zack questioned rhetorically. He knew Cloud must have been using his name.

"Zack!" Addley called once more before she began to pull the shower curtain open. She stopped and pulled it back slightly when she realized there was someone else present. "Oh."

"Hi," Zack said in a fairly not-impressed tone. He recognized her immediately as the girl from the picture Reno had shown him.

"You're Zack's brother?" Addley inquired, still gripping the curtain.

"That'd be me," Zack replied before Zack grabbed Cloud's one arm. "Can I talk to you for a minute, _bro_," he said though it wasn't really a question. He pulled Cloud out of the bathroom before reaching for another towel on the shelf just inside. He tossed it Addley's way before leaving the room and closing the door. When he turned around Cloud was gone.

Zack walked around to the bedroom where the door was closed. "I said I want to talk to you, _Zack_," Zack called into the room as he was about to open the door.

"Just a second," Cloud called back. "If you're gonna yell at me I'd like to be dressed."

The door opened then. Cloud was just finishing getting dressed as he let the door go to put on his shirt.

"Sit down," Zack ordered as he shut the door and pushed Cloud down onto the edge of the bed.

"Zack, I can explain—" Cloud began to say and Zack laughed.

"Explain? How do you explain the fact that you brought a goddamn stranger back to this place?" Zack asked angrily though he kept his voice low.

"She's not," Cloud argued. "I know her from work."

"You don't know her at all, Cloud!" Zack fired back at him.

"I know her better than you think," Cloud said back, feeling himself getting annoyed at the accusation.

"Oh yeah? Is that why she's calling you 'Zack'? 'Cause you two _know _each other so well?"

Cloud sighed. "I'm sorry for giving her your name," he said softly.

"Why are you apologizing to me? It's her you lied to." Zack shook his head. "Whatever, the name you chose isn't really friggin' important. The fact that you brought her _here_? That is."

"Okay," Cloud said. "Look, she just needed somewhere to stay for the—"

"I don't care, Cloud!" Zack cut him off. Cloud stood up then.

"There might be someone trying to hurt her!" he said forcefully, silencing Zack.

Zack exhaled before asking "Who?"

"An old boyfriend I guess," Cloud answered with a shrug.

"Oh? Are you the new one?" Zack responded sharply.

"Zack! It's serious. He's tried to kill her before," Cloud revealed quietly.

Zack was silent a moment before speaking again. "Is that what she told you, Cloud?" Cloud just shook his head in frustration. "I can't believe you did something so irresponsible," Zack said then, pacing a few steps.

"How is this irresponsible?" Cloud shot back. Zack looked at him incredulously.

"Uh, for one she's in our apartment and two, she's in our apartment!" He couldn't help but shout that time.

"So what!" Cloud shouted back. "Tifa knows where we live, a bunch of _Turks _know where we live, so what's the difference? You don't seem to care that all those people have been in the apartment, but I bring one friend here and it's the end of the world!"

"It _is _different, Cloud! I'm pretty sure Tifa can be trusted. I'm not entirely sure I like her that much, but she can be trusted. Tseng and his gang...I dunno. Ya know, if they were going to turn us over to Hojo then I like to think they would have done it already. How many times do we have to go over the fact that we are no longer living under the radar? We can't afford to take any unnecessary chances with people we don't know."

"She doesn't even know who we are, Zack," Cloud pointed out, not really able to argue against Zack's reasoning.

"Oh yeah?" Zack replied. "How do you know?" he asked sharply. Cloud opened his mouth to answer but didn't immediately know what to say. "How do you _know_, Cloud?" His point was obvious. Cloud shook his head, sitting back down on the bed. Zack cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Let's say you're right," he suggested. "What do you think would happen if she found out?"

"I don't—" Cloud began but stopped fast. "I don't know," he finished softly. "It was a bad idea bringing her here, I get it. You're right, I'm irresponsible," he admitted dejectedly. Zack watched him a moment as he stared down at the floor quietly.

Zack sighed. "I didn't say that. I just think that bringing her here is irresponsible," Zack corrected. "So is she the 'friend' you have been seeing up there?" he asked next though he already knew the truth. Cloud just nodded.

Rubbing his face with his hands, Zack sat down next to Cloud. He was a little shocked, he had to admit. It was obvious Cloud had been in the shower with her when he walked in. It wasn't much of a leap to make the conclusion they'd been sleeping together, given the fact they'd been spotted at a motel together. Zack had no idea Cloud actually felt ready for that. Sex wasn't a stranger to Zack, even before they were taken to the lab, and Aerith hadn't been his first, or his second, or his third for that matter. But Cloud was a different story. As far as Zack knew, this girl in their apartment was his first. He wasn't sure if Cloud knew that though. It was a little bit nerve-wracking. Setting aside the obvious reasons why, a very real issue that they both needed to be concerned with was what the experimentations on them may have done to them, and that meant everything about them. It was something Zack had been careful about with Aerith, even before the experimentation when he was only being subjected to a minute quantity of mako on rare occasion.

There was silence between them for a long moment before Zack extinguished it. "You're using protection right?" he asked bluntly, not really able to come up with any other way to phrase it. Cloud looked at him with a confused expression.

"Protection?" he echoed, shaking his head slowly.

"With her," Zack elaborated as he tilted his head in the direction of the living room on the other side of the door.

Cloud made a sound of slight disgust. "Do we really have to have this talk?" he asked, rolling his eyes and looking away.

"Yes," Zack retorted. "It's important. I don't really know what our—what our..." he struggled to say what he was trying to say without actually saying it. "Our...stuff—do you know what I'm getting at?" he asked uncomfortably.

"Yes," Cloud hissed. "I get it."

"Thank god," Zack replied fast, exhaling forcefully with relief at not having to give a more detailed explanation.

"And yeah, I am," Cloud said, adding to Zack's relief.

"Good," Zack spoke quietly. "Cloud," he said next, drawing his friend's attention back. "She can't stay here," he stated plainly and firmly.

"Alright," Cloud answered him lowly. He did understand Zack's reasoning without him really having to go over it again.

That night, Cloud brought Addley back to another motel. He paid for her, but he didn't stay, though she spent some time trying to convince him to. He went back home, hoping he wasn't going to get a lecture from Zack, though part of him thought he deserved one. However, Zack was already sleeping when he got back to the apartment and suddenly not feeling so tired, Cloud decided to resume his place on the couch, hoping whatever was on television would lull him to sleep.

000

It took a few days for Cloud to make the decision to break things off with Addley. After his fight in the apartment with Zack, he thought it the best thing to do. There had been an obvious tension between himself and Zack in the days following the incident. Cloud realized that he was partially to blame for the fact that he and Zack hadn't spent much time together in the recent past. And what was more, even after all the time he'd spent with Addley, he still had no idea how he felt about her. He liked being with her, but he always felt a little uneasy. He hadn't yet been able to share any real personal details with her. Not the way she had with him, and he didn't really want to. The more he thought about it, the more his choice became an easy one.

Just four days after she'd been at the apartment, he headed up to the motel where she was staying and knocked on the door, not sure if she'd be awake or not, it was pretty early. He'd left the apartment before Zack had even woken up. The door to the room opened a moment later and Addley stood in front of him, a smile spreading across her face.

"Hey!" she greeted happily, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the room. Before he could say anything she added "I have a surprise!" as she went to the dresser and picked something up. When she turned back to face him she held what it was behind her back. "Guess what it is," she urged. He forced a smile.

"Uhh...I dunno," he replied.

"Tickets!" she said fast as she whipped out two of what looked like scraps of card or paper. She stepped forward and handed them to him. He looked down at them in confusion. "Train tickets. Two of them, for Junon. Are you surprised?" she asked in clear excitement.

"Um..." was all he could manage to get out as he looked upon the tickets with a grim expression.

"Listen," she said as she took the tickets back from him and nudged him towards the bed where he sat down with her. "I know this is a bit sudden but I really need to get out of this city, and I know you don't exactly like it here either and I just...I've got a good feeling about this. About us."

Cloud looked up at her a little sadly. "You do?" he questioned lowly.

"Yeah, I do," she confirmed and he averted his eyes again. "Zack," she said, the name he'd falsely given himself striking him like a fist in the chest. "I'm...I think I'm really falling for you," she confessed. That hit him even harder. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard, and how awful he instantly felt hearing it. He forced himself to meet her eyes, and when he did, her expression fell. "But you...don't feel the same," she said by way of realization, though there was a hint of question in her voice as though she hoped he'd say otherwise.

"I came here to tell you I can't see you again," he admitted quietly. He was afraid to watch her reaction but he forced himself to. It almost seemed as if the understanding of what he had said came upon her slowly, but then there were tears coming to her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. He really was sorry to do this to her. It had seemed easy in his head, but seeing her reaction now it was completely different than he imagined.

She shook her head and reached up to wipe her eyes. "No, that's okay. I just...I've never been with someone who's treated me as nicely as you...I guess I was just hoping..."

"I'm so sorry," he repeated.

"Don't be," she said. "It's not your fault. You're a good guy. Whoever manages to get a hold of you...she's lucky." Cloud shook his head, sighing in shame for having just hurt her. The tears were rolling out of her eyes faster than she could wipe them away. "I have to go, I have things to do before I leave," she said as she stood and headed for the door. "Can you just make sure the door's locked when you leave?" she questioned and he gave a slight nod. "It's okay," she assured him again when she'd opened the door. "Really. I'll...see you," she managed to get out barely above a whisper before she had to step outside to keep herself from breaking into a sob in front of him.

Left alone, Cloud put his hands to his face and groaned into them before resting his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees.

His break-up left him feeling more down than he'd thought it would. He took reassurance in the fact that now maybe he'd be able to spend more time with Zack and see if there was a way to get him to stop being so closed off. Cloud had been feeling like he was pulling away and he assumed it was a response to the fact he hadn't been around as much. Unfortunately, it seemed Cloud had made his move too late. He realized quite quickly that Zack was spending next to no time in the apartment. He started staying over at Aerith's mostly every night, coming home early in the morning to shower and get changed for work, which meant Cloud had to spend most nights alone and he found his hallucinations becoming worse. It had been just over a week since breaking up with Addley when he would spend his last night in the bedroom alone.

The moment he closed his eyes and started to let himself edge toward sleep he heard it, the scratching noise that he'd heard time and time before. It began in the corner of the ceiling just like before. He tried to ignore it, not even bothering to open his eyes. He really didn't understand what was prompting his hallucinations and he found it difficult in the moment to accept that he was really just hearing and seeing things. He turned over onto his stomach and lifted his pillow, putting his head under it and holding it down over his ears, trying to block out the sound. At first he thought it was working, but the scratching got louder and faster and seemed to get closer. _It's not real_, he tried to assure himself.

Louder and louder, the noise was driving into his brain with every passing moment. Despite telling himself it wasn't happening, that there was nothing in the room with him, he couldn't help his pulse quickening and from breaking into a sweat. "Stop," he spoke from under the pillow, trying to cover his ears with it harder. It wouldn't stop. The pace quickened and it seemed to be coming from all over the room, every corner, every surface and Cloud found his anxiety rising to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. "STOP IT!" he shouted at the top of his lungs as he turned over and sat up fast.

The scratching noises ceased immediately, but it wasn't completely silent. Cloud could hear what sounded like breathing coming from above, directly above him. It was like the sound of a panting animal. And then there was that growl, the sound he'd heard the few nights before. He couldn't stop himself, he had to look up, to see what it was that was making the noise. Slowly, he let his eyes travel upwards to the ceiling directly above him where he could just make out the dark shape of something as big as himself but he could see nothing else, nothing but its eyes, shining like an animal's. Whatever it was, it released a scream that struck Cloud's ears and had his stomach falling in sudden fear. He covered his ears and shut his eyes for a split second before directing his gaze upwards again just in time to see whatever it was pushing off the ceiling and coming down at him fast. He released a cry of surprise and slammed his eyes shut again as he turned onto his side and held his arms up in front of his face to protect himself. He'd expected to feel the weight of the thing landing upon him but it never came.

He lay still for a minute, breathing hard, feeling his adrenaline pumping through his body and beginning to make him shake as it was diminishing. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" he whispered to himself before finally lowering his arms and letting himself relax a little. He turned back over and began to sit up, scanning the room through the dark, seeing nothing. Throwing the blankets off himself, he put his legs over the side of the bed, his feet touching the wood floor while he reached for the lamp on the nightstand. Before he could click the light on, something closed around his right ankle. He didn't have a moment to think or react before whatever it was tugged harshly, pulling him off the bed where he hit the floor on his stomach. Just as quickly he felt himself being yanked under the bed as he fought against the hold on his ankle.

"NO!" he cried out in fear, grabbing for the night stand and holding on with his hands while trying to pull free of whatever had him. With his fingers aching and his grip slipping, he managed to kick with his other foot whatever was holding onto him. His ankle was released and he scrambled to get away from the bed, finally able to reach the lamp and turn the light on fast. He grabbed his cell phone off the stand and stumbled back against the wall as he dialled Zack's number, all the while he kept his eyes directed at the floor near the bed. He listened to the phone ring over and over with no answer from Zack. Holding the phone loosely to his ear he took a few steps forward and knelt down slowly, daring to look under the bed where all he could see was shadowed empty space.

"Come on, pick up," he spoke shakily into the phone which he could hear was still ringing. He slid himself back on the floor, towards the wall at his back. There was a slight click then when the line picked up.

"Hello," came a groggy reply.

"Zack," Cloud spoke back in a hushed voice.

"Cloud?" Zack questioned, sounding a little more alert. "What's wrong?" he asked next.

"Um," he began, not knowing if he should just blurt out what he'd initially intended to. "Where are you?" he asked instead.

"With Aerith," Zack admitted, which is the answer Cloud was expecting. "Why are you whispering?" In fact, Cloud didn't know why he was trying to be quiet.

"Uh, I dunno. When are you coming home?" Cloud inquired at a more normal level of volume.

"Soon?" Zack said. "What's wrong?" he repeated his initial question.

Cloud still found himself trembling as his heart rate was only just starting to level out. "Um, I, I've—there's something I...should tell you—" He stopped his confession when he heard another voice in the background.

"What is it?" a female voice asked. "Is something wrong?"

"No," he heard Zack reply though it sounded like he was partially covering the receiver with his hand or something. "It's Cloud. I think he just had a nightmare or something," he added.

Cloud was sure Zack didn't think he could hear him.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Zack spoke to Cloud then. Cloud said nothing for a moment as he re-thought what he wanted to tell Zack. "Cloud?"

"Uh nuh-nothing. I just, I had a bad dream," he lied. "But, it's fine now. I'm sorry I called and woke you up."

Zack exhaled softly. "You want me to come home?" he asked though Cloud suspected he didn't really want to.

"No, that's alright, I'll see you in the morning or whatever," Cloud answered surely.

"Okay, I'll be back soon," Zack said.

"'Kay," Cloud said back and heard the click of the call disconnecting. Sighing, he dropped the phone at his side and put his face in his hands as he leaned back against the wall. A few minutes later he got up and walked out to the living room where he sat down on the couch. He was doubtful he'd be able to sleep in the bedroom at that point, or anywhere really. His adrenaline was only just beginning to level out again. Needing a distraction, he turned on the television and flipped through the channels, all the while he was fighting the sudden urge he had to just run out of the apartment and not come back. It was the feeling he'd been fighting since the Turks had invaded their apartment and he felt it more now that Zack had been spending so much time with Aerith. He was beginning to feel like some kind of awkward burden. He wanted to tell Zack how alone and restless he was beginning to feel but he didn't want to put pressure on his friend to compromise his own happiness. He knew Zack still cared, otherwise he wouldn't be calling so often to make sure he knew where he was all day long. And yet, it was like Zack was dissolving away.

The following week, he found himself unable to sleep because of the hallucinations and he was feeling more dead than alive. He was surprised he was able to function at work. He did use his lunch hours to nap though, finding himself exhausted enough to do so. He relied now on those few moments when he was basically passing out to keep himself from going insane. Still, he felt fairly unmotivated to do normal things like make dinner or answer the phone. He knew the times when Zack called, every other call he assumed to be Tifa. That night alone he figured she'd called about six times. At around 10 pm the calls stopped. Cloud was sitting, slouched on the sofa as he watched a soccer game on one of the more staticky channels. It was difficult to make out what was going on.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door that made him jolt a little in surprise. He looked over at the door but didn't move, apprehensive about who might be on the other side. There was another few knocks followed up by a voice calling through the door.

"Cloud? It's Tifa."

Cloud released a slightly relieved breath and stood up, heading for the door. He unlocked it and pulled it open, facing Tifa on the other side of the doorway. She smiled and gave a 'Hey' while looking at him a little expectantly. He clued in and stepped aside a little, opening the door wider to let her in.

"Don't you ever answer your phone?" she asked when she moved past him.

"Uh...sorry," he mumbled, not really sure what to say in return. He wasn't going to admit that he outright refused to take a call from her out of fear that he wouldn't be able to actually string together sentences to make up a conversation. "You looking for Zack?" he asked awkwardly as he closed the door and turned to see her taking her jacket off and draping it over the couch arm.

"No," she said with a light laugh. "I talked to him a little earlier though. He said he wasn't going to be back until later so I thought maybe I'd—"

"Check up on me?" he finished her sentence before she could.

"More like keep you company," she replied with another smile. "You don't mind do you?" she asked then.

He gave a slight shrug. "No," he answered quietly.

"Great," Tifa said as she sat down on the couch.

Cloud stood where he was by the door a few seconds more before he asked if she wanted a drink of something.

"What do you have?" she inquired and he went for the fridge to check.

"Uhh...water, and...water," he announced after looking over the shelves.

"Hmm...I think I'm good," Tifa decided with a bit of a laugh.

"Sorry," Cloud apologized again as he shut the door on the fridge. "Haven't been to the store in a little while."

"That's alright," Tifa said, turning to see him from where she was sitting. "You wanna sit down?" she asked.

He hesitated briefly before walking over to the front of the couch and sitting down slowly. There was quiet for just a moment and then Tifa spoke.

"Is everything alright?" she asked and he looked up at her.

"Yeah," he replied with a shrug.

"You sure?" she pushed on. "Is it about Zack?" she hazarded a guess.

"I feel like we don't really see much of each other anymore," Cloud said without her having to question further.

"Aerith?" she inquired and he nodded.

"It's good I guess," he said then. "He used to talk about her a lot."

Tifa smiled a little uneasily and nodded. "Have you met her yet?" she asked.

"No. I doubt I will," Cloud said definitively.

"Why?"

"I dunno. It's just the feeling I get."

Tifa nodded slowly while she studied Cloud's expression. Beneath what looked like indifference, she could tell the situation was really bothering him. He seemed sort of sad over it. "You know he really cares about you a lot right?" she asked, hoping to reassure him.

He looked at her briefly before turning his attention to the television. "Yeah," he agreed softly.

"You know _I _really care about you too," she said next.

Cloud didn't respond to that. He let his eyes wander a little across the couch to the floor. He refocused on Tifa when he saw her pull something from the bag she'd brought over with her. He recognized it right away to be the picture she'd given him for his birthday.

"You left this at the bar," she said, though it wasn't necessary. He knew he left it there, and he suspected she knew he knew.

"I, uh...I'm sor—" he started to apologize yet again but she stopped him.

"It's alright. I understand," she said softly. "You don't have to take it if it makes you uncomfortable."

"I don't really know what it makes me feel," he confessed.

"Weird maybe?" she suggested with a light laugh that he returned.

"Yeah," he agreed.

There was silence then a moment as seriousness was restored. Tifa spoke then. "I know it probably means nothing to you now, given you don't remember...a lot of things, but...growing up I always felt like we had this special kind of friendship. Of all the boys I was friends with, none of them ever made me feel as safe as you did. I might have died if it wasn't for you."

Cloud looked at her in confusion. "What?" he questioned softly.

"That day in Nibelheim that General Sephiroth burned the town, he gave me this," she said before lifting the hem of her shirt up on her stomach to reveal a long scar. Cloud only glanced at it before looking away. Lowering her shirt, she continued. "You found me and covered the wound. I might have bled to death otherwise."

"I don't remember," he replied quietly.

"I know," Tifa said a little sadly. "But you were there for me, and that means something," she pointed out. "I'll always be there for you too."

Cloud nodded slowly before looking at her. "Why were you in Nibelheim then?" he questioned curiously.

It took Tifa a second to remember that she had told Cloud that they were from the same hometown, which he believed to be Gongaga. "Oh, I...lived there. I moved there from Gongaga. Coincidence I know. It was for this tour guide kinda job."

Cloud cracked a bit of a smile. "You got hired as a tour guide in a town you hadn't lived in before?" he asked and she laughed a little nervously.

"Uh, well I had family there so I'd visited a few times," was her quick fabrication. Cloud just nodded in understanding. He seemed to have bought the lie. "So you don't really remember anyone from your past then. It's just Zack?" she asked, switching topics.

"Yeah," Cloud agreed. "And some of the people from the mansion."

"You're lucky you had each other. You would have been able to take care of one another I imagine."

Cloud smiled a little to himself. "I don't remember everything from the mansion," he began then. "Nothing really from the first couple of years. I do have some really clear memories though. There was this time when I was sick. Don't know why...Zack and I were in the room that I guess we were kept in and it was really cold. I remember I kept waking myself up because I couldn't stop shaking. And then Zack laid down next to me and wrapped his arms around me and I could finally sleep."

Tifa watched his expression grow very serious.

He continued after a short silence. "I just...I feel like I'm watching him move on, getting his life back...and I'm just...not."

Tifa placed her hand over one of his, expecting him to pull away but he didn't. He just looked down at where she was making contact with him.

"I know it may not seem like it now," she said softly, "but you _will _have a great life, Cloud. If you just...let it happen." It took another moment for him to reply.

"Given all that's happened...I just don't see how that's possible," he said barely above a whisper.

000

A few days later, Cloud reached a breaking point he hadn't thought was coming. He'd managed to fall asleep on the couch after work and found himself swirling in dreams that were half memory. He stood on the edge of a cliff. The sky was dark and cluttered with fast-moving clouds of grey and purple. When he looked down he could see the ocean running in tall waves towards the cliffside to crash upon the rocks. It was so cold at the cliff's edge, the wind was rushing at him fast, pushing him backwards, as if urging him away from the dangers below. Over the sounds of the waves and the wind, he thought he could hear something, a voice that was calling to him from below. Someone was calling his name, but he couldn't see anyone. The voice faded away after a moment and Cloud stood, still watching the water. Suddenly, within his ear, he heard the voice. "Help me," it spoke and he turned around fast, catching the briefest flash of a woman's face before she became blurred. At that moment, the wind seemed to change direction, throwing him from his feet and backwards, where he felt himself free-falling towards the violent water below.

He hit hard and began thrashing almost immediately, trying to get back to the surface. As he threw his arms out, they hit the surface of something smooth and cold. Calming himself, he ran his hands over the surface, which felt like glass. He realized quite quickly he was trapped inside a tank and when the bubbles around him cleared, he could see several metal tubes attached to his body. Slowly, he reached for one attached to his chest and began to twist it. After a few seconds, the tube was unscrewed from his body. He went for the others, unscrewing them as fast as possible. He had to stop when he noticed something was seeping from his body and into the water. Mako, lots of it. It was flowing out of him and swirling around in the water, changing its color and clouding up his vision. Soon, it felt as though the whole tank was full of it and suddenly he was no longer able to breathe. He was drowning in it. He screamed, though it did little good. His mouth filled with more of the thick liquid and it rushed towards his lungs fast.

Cloud jolted awake then and raised himself onto his elbows fast, looking around the room. He released a long breath when he realized he was safe in the apartment. Lying back down, he took some quick breaths and reached a hand to his chest to feel the wetness on it his sweat had caused.

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath before sitting himself up and rising to head for the bathroom. A glance at his watch told him he'd actually slept for an hour, though it had felt like minutes. He took his time washing his face with some cool water in the sink of the bathroom. He stood for a moment with his hands still in the stream of the water, his eyes closed, as he waited for himself to cool down a little.

Strangely, his fingertips began to sting under the water, only a little at first, but suddenly it was painful and he hissed in a breath as he pulled his hands from the stream and reached to turn the water off. As he did so he noticed some droplets of reddish-pink that were quickly diluting and running toward the drain. There were more near the facet of the sink where his hand was. He retracted his right hand and looked down at it, palm-side up. He saw blood on his fingers but he didn't know where it was coming from. He turned his hand over slowly to discover the source of the blood. Where there should have been fingernails, there were none. He looked down in shock, watching blood welling up and dripping from the tips of his fingers, the pain beginning to pulse through them, he didn't know what to do, how it had happened. There was a loud bang on the door that startled him, making him jump.

"Zack!" he called out as he reached for the door knob with his left hand and pulled it open. It wasn't Zack. Standing on the other side of the door was a man in a white coat. He had black hair tied into a ponytail and glasses set on his aging face.

"So this is where you've been hiding, Cee Four," the man said in a chiding tone. It was Hojo, Cloud finally realized. His pulse and breathing quickened in instant panic as he stood in front of the man who'd spent four years torturing him and Zack. The professor revealed something that he had been holding in his hand, a pair of pliers that glistened with blood at the ends of the prongs. The man spoke once more, icily this time when he said "I need to see what else I can pry from your body." He stepped aside then and two large men entered the small space of the bathroom.

Cloud took some steps back toward the tub behind him. "No," he said out loud. "You're not here. You're not here," he repeated a few times though it made little difference. The men grabbed onto him and though he tried to fight back, he was forced down to the floor. The men knelt on either side of him holding him in place as he was barely sitting up against the bathtub. Each man had a hand gripping his upper arms and the tops of his thighs, pressing him into the floor. He looked up at the professor who was still outside the bathroom, but he was talking to someone now, two people. And he recognized them as the Turks, Reno and Rude.

"Reno!" he called out as he struggled against the men holding him down. "Rude! Help me!" he begged. They just turned and looked at him before Hojo stepped in front of them and entered the bathroom, which was now crowded with the four of them inside of it together.

Hojo crouched down in front of Cloud, reaching a hand forward to place it on his forehead and force his head back against the edge of the tub.

"Don't touch me!" Cloud shouted, trying to sound less scared than he was.

"But I need to hear you sing, Cee Four," Hojo returned with a smirk, holding the pliers up, close to Cloud's eye. The man grasped his jaw and, not thinking, Cloud let his mouth fall open in anticipation. He hadn't expected the pliers would be heading into his mouth. He tasted the metal from the tool and from the blood that had been on them. He felt them take hold of one of his premolars on the left side of his mouth.

"Stop it!" he tried to say, his protest coming out muffled as he fought to turn his head away. All he got in return was a building pressure in his jaw as the tooth was being pulled from its socket. Pain erupted at the site forcing him to cry out loudly. Blood began to fill his mouth, mixing with his saliva and running back towards his throat. As the pressure and pain intensified he released a scream that broke off when the tooth was pulled completely from his mouth. He coughed on the blood and saliva mix that he hadn't wanted to swallow though he was forced to. Hojo held up the tooth for him to see, though he could barely make it out past the tears that were clouding up his eyes.

"One down, thirty-one to go," the professor remarked with a grin.

Cloud fought to get away then, managing to tear away from the men holding him down and pushing past the professor he got out into the living room where he stumbled to his knees and spit out more of the blood building in his mouth. He looked back, expecting Hojo or his men to have come after him, but when he looked back he saw no one.

Now shaking and still crying, he looked down the floor below him. Nothing. There was no blood. The taste of it in his mouth was gone, along with the pain. He felt around with his tongue for the hole that should have been there but it wasn't, and his fingertips where he'd seen no nails before were fine.

Slowly, he began to stand and take small steps towards the bathroom. He wanted it to be empty, and yet a small part of him was scared it would be, and it was. No Hojo or his men. There was nothing, nothing to suggest anyone had been there but Cloud.

He had hallucinated. The whole thing had been a hallucination. He grew angry quickly. He was getting sick of it all, the half memories, the nightmares, and now this. He was tired of giving himself needles every day, tired of always feeling just alright, tired of coming home to sit alone, and he was definitely tired of feeling scared, while he was terrified.

He contemplated calling Zack but changed his mind, opting instead to just get out of the apartment. Not bothering to grab a coat or keys or anything else, he left the apartment and started walking. All he had was the cash in his pocket he'd been paid that day from work. He didn't really know where to go. He didn't want to see Tifa, or anyone else really but he headed for the plate and went for the bar that he and some of his co-workers sometimes went to.

An hour after he'd gotten there, he looked up to see Reno coming through the door of the bar. They made eye-contact and Reno smirked but didn't approach. He took a seat at one of the tables. Cloud couldn't help but watch him from where he was sitting at the bar. From the moment he had arrived he had immediately wanted to go over and ask what the hell he was doing there but he had restrained himself. After a half hour he couldn't take it anymore. He finished what was left in his glass and stood up. He walked over confidently. Reno's back was to him so he moved around the table to face him while Reno finally took notice of him and smiled smugly as he leaned back in his chair.

"Hey there, baby boy," he greeted. "I'm surprised to see you here. Didn't know they served little kiddies like you in here."

"What the hell are you here for?" Cloud asked, ignoring his comment.

"Not checking up on you if that's what you're thinking," Reno replied. Cloud stared back at him, not sure what else to say.

"Why don't you have a seat," Reno offered as he motioned to the chair in front of Cloud.

Cloud looked back at him with a questioning expression. "Why would I?" he asked.

"'Cause you look like you got something on your mind," Reno answered before reaching into his shirt pocket for his cigarette pack.

The last thing Cloud wanted to do was hang out with Reno but for some reason he felt the need to take the offer and sit. He watched Reno light his cigarette and thought about the times he'd lit up in the basement prison he and Zack had been kept in.

"Where's your other half?" he asked after a moment.

"Not here," Reno replied with a shrug.

"Don't you guys share an umbilical cord or something?" Cloud returned sarcastically. Reno just looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. After a moment of the Turk's stare lingering, Cloud was sufficiently uneased. "What?" he asked sharply.

"You tell me," Reno answered while flicking some ash. "It's obvious you got something to say so why don't you hurry it up," he went on. "While we're young," he suggested when Cloud didn't immediately respond.

Leaning forward into the table a little closer to the Turk across from him, Cloud finally spoke what he'd been wanting to say the moment Reno came in the bar. "You're an asshole," was what he started with and Reno let out a dry laugh.

"Wow. That hurts. Really," he said tonelessly and took a drink from his beer glass.

"You're shit," Cloud added. Reno nodded, still smiling as he swallowed and set the glass back down.

"Oh, is _that _all?" he said and placed the cigarette back in his mouth to rest between his lips. He slid his foot under the chair next to Cloud and pulled it a little closer to himself so he could rest his feet upon it. "Is this really what you had to say to me?"

"I don't really have anything to say to you," Cloud replied.

"Then what do you want?" the Turk said without looking at him, his gaze currently on one of the waitresses.

"Right now I'd like to put that cigarette out on your face," Cloud spoke seriously, waiting for Reno to meet his eyes again.

"Oh yeah?" he said with an amused grin, finally looking at Cloud. "Well...the face is off-limits but...here."Reno held out the cigarette and Cloud glanced down at it.

"What?" Cloud questioned, though he knew what.

"Take it," Reno instructed, waving it a little. Cloud reached forward and took it slowly. He watched as the Turk rolled up his one sleeve to the elbow, exposing the skin of his forearm. He rested his arm on the table top, the palm of his hand facing up. "Go for it," he said then and Cloud looked up at him.

"What?" Cloud repeated a little uneasily.

"Well, fair's fair. You know the old saying. 'An eye for an eye,' well here's your chance. A scar for a scar. Hit me with it," Reno ordered. Cloud stared back at him, the cigarette held loosely between his thumb and forefinger as a line of smoke drifted upwards from its lit end. His eyes fell once again to Reno's bare arm.

_I should do it_, he thought to himself. The Turk deserved it. No, he deserved more. But inflicting any amount of pain on him would be somewhat satisfying. Cloud moved his hand, holding the cigarette over Reno's skin in the centre of his forearm. He lowered it slightly, to within an inch of his arm. All the while, Reno's expression never changed. He held that same smug grin as always. After another moment of inaction, Cloud moved his hand away and dropped the cigarette in Reno's beer glass. The Turk snorted, shaking his head as he sat back in his chair.

"It's not good enough," Cloud said then.

"Well, I dunno what you want then, baby boy," Reno replied as he rolled his shirt sleeve back down.

"I do," Cloud returned firmly.

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" the Turk inquired. "A fight?" he added with a short laugh.

"Yes," Cloud confirmed and Reno met his eyes.

"Well, that's tough, 'cause your boyfriend doesn't want me touching you."

"It's not up to Zack," Cloud countered. Reno stared back at him for a moment, his eyes narrowed slightly and he snorted before pushing his chair back. He came to a stand and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair.

"I'm not fighting you, short stuff," he said, leaning over the table just slightly and speaking down to Cloud. He tossed some money on the table and turned to leave. Cloud stood fast, prepared to go after him. He was forced to halt once as a waitress passed in front of him. Reno headed out the door just a second before him. Outside, as the Turk was headed to his car, Cloud approached quickly from behind where he threw out his arms and shoved Reno from behind. The Turk lurched forward but didn't stumble. He turned just as Cloud pushed him again.

"Fight me," Cloud demanded as both he and Reno stopped and faced each other again.

"No," Reno refused with a chuckle.

Cloud grew angry very quickly. He stepped forward to shove Reno again. And then again. And again after that. Not hard. Just enough to make him take a step back each time. And each time, Cloud made the same demand of "Fight me". Reno's reply every time was the same as well. _No_.

"What? Do you have morality all of a sudden?" Cloud questioned as he bent down to pick up some metal from a street sign pole off the ground. There was another lying nearby which he bent to pick up right after.

"No, I'm following orders," Reno refuted. Cloud threw one of the metal poles at him and he caught it before it hit him in the chest.

"From Zack?" Cloud questioned sharply.

"Moreso my boss," Reno spoke back as he casually tossed the metal pole to the ground and reached for his cigarettes in his pocket.

"That's bullshit!" Cloud shouted before motioning to the pole on the ground. "Pick it up," he ordered.

"No," Reno said with a smirk as he lit a cigarette between his lips.

"Do it," Cloud said.

"Nope."

"Do it!" Cloud repeated.

Reno shook his head and took a drag on his cigarette. "Not gonna happen," he stated surely. Cloud gave up then, dropping the metal in his own hand and advancing on Reno. He slapped the cigarette out of his mouth, just barely missing his face before he tried to throw a punch into Reno's chest. The Turk blocked fast. Cloud responded by throwing his other fist toward Reno's head. That too was blocked, as were his subsequent attempts to hit the Turk. He wasn't trying as hard as he could to hit Reno, he just wanted to provoke him, to force him into a real fight, but the Turk made no attacks of his own. Every move was a defensive one and it was making Cloud all the more angry.

"Fight me!" Cloud screamed as he grew fed up quickly, grabbing onto the front of Reno's shirt. "You never had a fucking problem before!" he pointed out.

"_Orders_, baby boy!" Reno shot back at him, finally showing a bit of anger of his own. "Do you understand what that word means?" he asked.

"Orders?" Cloud echoed. "That's your fucking excuse!"

"Sure is," Reno affirmed with a nod.

"You're a fucking liar," Cloud argued. "It wasn't just orders. You and your partner liked the _work_ Hojo had you do. You _wanted _to see us suffer. You wanted to _help _us suffer," he accused. "It wasn't orders. It was you. Just sick, fucked up, you," Cloud added, still holding onto Reno's shirt. He noticed in that moment that he and Reno were about the same height, though there had been a time when he was looking up at him slightly. They stared at each other tensely before Cloud spoke again. "Admit it," he urged.

"What?" Reno questioned.

"That you liked it!" Cloud shouted back at him. "That you liked seeing us in that place. That you liked helping Hojo keep us there. Liked helping him torture us. And then put up your goddamn fists and fight me!"

"Alright!" Reno shouted back. "Yeah, I liked it! I fucking loved it! And I'm not fighting you so get lost and go back to your babysitter at home!" He pushed Cloud away from him and turned once again to walk away and this time he got a hard, sharp jab to his lower back, just under his ribs. His body lurched away from it and he fell to his one knee on the pavement. As he turned his head to curse at Cloud he got a punch to the side of his face that stole away his balance and had him nearly flat on the ground. Quickly, he had the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. There was nothing quite like a mako-packed punch. He suspected Cloud was holding back some as the hit hadn't totally blown him off his feet. "Alright," he said as he began to stand. "You wanna fight so bad, let's go."

Cloud wasted no time in letting his fist fly again. It was blocked fast by Reno, and just as quickly he got his first hit to the face by the Turk. He took a step back and shook off the hit before advancing again. Almost every attempt he made to hit Reno was blocked, and when he'd finally managed to clip him in the side of the jaw, the Turk's fist buried itself fast in his gut and sent him stumbling back, struggling not to double over and drop to the ground.

"What? You forget how to throw a punch? You're making this pretty easy, baby boy," Reno spoke up in amusement. "I'd swear you were trying not to hurt me. It's sweet, really, but I told you once before you aren't really my type," he said with a dry laugh.

Cloud straightened himself, pushing aside the brief amount of intense pain he'd just gotten from Reno's punch. He went for him with renewed anger, faster than before. He stopped trying to hit Reno and just made the movements that seemed to come natural to him. Suddenly, he was able to block the Turk easier, like he could see his moves before he made them. He started to see himself winning the fight. All he needed was one good hit to knock the Turk off-guard so he could get the upper hand and take him down. He got his opening and jumped all over it. Reno's face was wide-open for attack, and Cloud aimed his hit at the centre of it, his fist connecting with the bridge of Reno's nose. The Turk barely had enough time to grasp his injured face before Cloud slammed his stomach and waited for him to bend over before driving his elbow into the area between his shoulder blades. Finally, something resembling a cry of pain came out of Reno as he was forced to the ground by that final blow.

Cloud stared down at him a moment in satisfaction. "I win," he said through some heavy breaths. Or so he had thought. Reno's hand reached up fast and gripped Cloud's left knee, his fingers digging into the back of it. Instantly, a flare of pain shot through his leg, making him call out loudly and drop to the ground in front of the Turk. The pain was so intense he hadn't even tried to resist the urge his leg had to bend away from it. Reno was rising as he fell and before Cloud could try to do the same, he got a similar punch to the one he'd given Reno earlier, to his lower back, under his rib cage. He released a short cry and reached for the spot, holding onto it as the pain went through him like a wave.

"That one sure hurts, don't it?" he heard Reno say from above him. "I think," the Turk continued, standing next to Cloud closely and raising a foot up to slide under Cloud's one arm so he could use it to flip Cloud over to face him, "You may have broken my nose." Cloud looked up at the Turk as he began to sit up. Reno was holding his nostrils closed with his forefinger and thumb. He raised his foot once more and used it to push Cloud back down to the ground. "And that annoys me," he added. He let go of his nose and wiped at it a little before taking a step back.

"I really am a liar, you know," he said as he watched Cloud raise himself onto his elbows, breathing hard. "But I'll tell a bit of truth just for you. I liked seeing Fair in that place. Hell yes, I did. I could never stand the self-righteous son of a bitch. I liked the control Hojo gave Rude and me and I liked the fights. Fuck, maybe a part of me liked all of it. Even the torture. And yet a part of me must have hated it...because it fucking haunts me," he declared. As Cloud looked up at him, he didn't really know what to say to that.

"Hey!" a voice shouted from nearby. Someone came up fast behind Reno and grabbed his arm roughly, pulling him back from Cloud a few feet. Cloud recognized him as Zack's friend, Kunsel. Reno pulled his arm from his grip swiftly.

"Get your fuckin' hands off me," Reno shot at him angrily.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kunsel shouted back at him. "Just can't help yourself, huh?" He turned away from Reno to reach down and offer to help Cloud to his feet. Cloud raised his hands in a gesture that said he could help himself.

"That's right, Kunsel," Reno replied. "I couldn't help myself. I ran into the baby boy here and just had to kick his ass. Ya know, for old time's sake."

"Oh yeah?" Kunsel said, facing him once more. "You wanna start a fight with me now? See how well you do?"

"I started it!" Cloud called to Kunsel as he brushed off his clothes a little.

"What?" Kunsel questioned.

"I made him fight me," Cloud explained.

"You didn't make me do shit," Reno argued. "Now fuck you," he said to Cloud before turning to Kunsel. "And fuck you, I'm going home." With that said he pivoted and began walking away.

"Hey!" Kunsel called after him. "Reno!"

Cloud just huffed in annoyance and turned in the opposite direction to head to the train station. Kunsel noticed after a moment and followed after him.

"Cloud! Wait a minute!" he ordered as he raced to catch up with him. Cloud refused to stop until Kunsel made it in front of him and blocked his way. "What was that about?" the SOLDIER questioned.

"None of your business," Cloud answered bluntly and moved to walk past him. Kunsel stepped to the side to keep him from doing so.

"Look, I know Reno played a part in what happened to you and Zack but trying to fight him over it now won't help," Kunsel said in a sympathetic tone that only angered Cloud more.

"What the hell would you know about it?" he shot back at him. "Maybe it does fucking help," he added as he pushed past Kunsel.

"It won't change anything," Kunsel argued, following Cloud closely. "Reno's not going to feel sorry for what he did," he pointed out.

"I don't want him to be sorry," Cloud said fast. "I want him in pain," he continued, stopping to face Kunsel. "I want him to feel afraid."

After a second of staring Cloud in the eyes and taking note of his complete seriousness Kunsel just shook his head slowly. "I don't think you'd ever get that out of him," he said softly. Cloud looked away, releasing another short huff as he started walking again.

"Cloud," Kunsel called after him as he continued to follow.

"What?" Cloud answered without looking back or stopping.

"You wanna tell me what's really wrong?" the SOLDIER suggested. Scoffing, Cloud turned to face him but continued his walk backwards.

"What's _really _wrong?" he echoed. "_Really_?" he repeated and Kunsel nodded. "I don't know what I'm doing here!" Cloud shouted then, throwing his arms out at his sides. "That's what's fucking wrong." He dropped his arms and turned away once more.

"Cloud!" Kunsel called to him once more.

"Leave me alone!" Cloud called back. Kunsel followed after him despite his demand. He caught up to him a second time and took hold of his arm. Cloud pulled away fast, and pushed Kunsel away from him. "_Don't _touch me," he said sharply, his voice coming out with a hint of shakiness.

Kunsel held up his hands in front of him. "I'm sorry," he said softly, watching as Cloud's emotions were changing fast and he looked as though he could start crying any moment. He shook his head and turned away, running his one hand over his hair. "Will you let me take you home?" Kunsel asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Whatever," he heard Cloud mutter.

"Come on," Kunsel said with a strong exhale. "My car's this way." He pointed back the way they had come. Cloud said nothing else as he turned and followed Kunsel back to where his car was. The ride down to the slums was silent. Kunsel was pretty sure Cloud didn't want to talk but when they reached the apartment and Cloud didn't immediately jump out of the car, he took a chance and asked if there was anything Cloud wanted to talk about. At first, Cloud just stared out the window, but then he spoke.

"Do you know what I do every day?" he asked and Kunsel shook his head.

"I wake up. I go to work. I come home. Eat dinner. And then I try to go to sleep. I lay on the couch and I wonder if maybe I'll get to sleep through the night without some sort of bad dream...or if it will be the last night before Zack and I are found and taken back to that hell we got out of." He shook his head a little, looking down at his hands in his lap. "I just let go of the only thing I think I had that was keeping me from thinking of all this."

"What do you mean?" Kunsel asked.

"This girl," Cloud answered with a shrug. "I thought maybe...she was the reason I haven't been able to spend much time with Zack anymore. But I guess he's busy these days with Aerith. I'm happy for him. That he's happy," he said while nodding slowly. "But I just...I don't know if I can handle being here alone, with nothing to do but think about all the things that just make me crazy." He sighed then. "Anyway...it's not your problem. Thanks for the ride," he said as he opened the door and prepared to get out.

"Hey, Cloud," Kunsel stopped him. "Do you wanna take my number in case of...well just in case?" he asked and Cloud looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Thanks but...I'd never call," he admitted before getting out of the car and shutting the door. Kunsel watched him head up to the apartment, waiting until he'd gotten inside before driving down to sector five.


	21. Chapter 18

_Hello-ello, new chapter is here. Just wanted to mention that if the end seems a little abrupt it's probably because the chapter had a lot more at the end - actually it was going to be about twice as long - so I cut it in half and hopefully the next chapter won't take me too long to get out. Other than that, thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and there are no songs for this chapter because...just because lol I got lazy. There will be more for the next chapter though ^^_

Chapter XVIII

"Is it your earrings?" Zack asked and Aerith shook her head. "Is it...the thread of my shirt?" he inquired next and she giggled.

"Nope," she denied.

"Oh, come on!" he blurted out in exasperation. "There's only so many things in this place that are 'blue-ish'. I really hate I Spy. Pretty sure you know this."

She laughed again and was about to reveal what she'd been waiting for him to guess when there was a loud bang on the front door of the church that startled them both. They looked at the door and then each other.

"I'll check it out," Zack said as he started to rise. Aerith's hand grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"No, it may be someone looking for you," she said in a low tone. "I'll go, you should hide," she suggested. She got to her feet and headed for the door while Zack stood and moved to stand behind one of the large centre pillars of the building.

When Aerith opened the door she was a shocked at who was on the doorstep. "Kunsel," she said his name with surprise. "It's been awhile," she added and Kunsel sighed a little.

"Is he here?" the SOLDIER questioned, skipping the awkward pleasantries.

"Uh..." she hesitated, which was as good an answer as any. Kunsel put his hand on the door and pushed it open wider, forcing Aerith to step back.

"Zack!" he called into the church, his voice echoing. Zack appeared immediately from behind the stone pillar.

"What're you doing here?" Zack asked as he approached Kunsel and Aerith.

"Do you know where Cloud is right now?" his old friend answered bluntly. Zack was a little taken aback by the question.

"Yeah, at home," he said surely though inside he sensed Kunsel was about to somehow prove him wrong.

"He is now," Kunsel confirmed. "You know where he was about an hour ago?" Zack said nothing, knowing Kunsel was about to tell him and that he wasn't going to like it. "At a bar on the plate in Sector Four." Zack's eyes narrowed slightly in a bit of disbelief. Last time he'd talked to Cloud, he'd been assured he was at home. "He got in a fight with Reno," Kunsel added next and Zack felt himself becoming angry in an instant.

"I'm gonna kill that piece of shit Turk," he seethed as he turned to retrieve his jacket from the front of the church.

"Forget it," Kunsel called to him.

"What?" Zack shouted back.

"Cloud started it," his friend revealed.

"What?" Zack repeated.

"I didn't tell you so you could go after Reno. I just thought you might wanna know that Cloud looks about ready to self-destruct."

"What are you talking about?" Zack asked, shaking his head as he got his jacket and returned to where Kunsel and Aerith were standing.

"What do you think, Zack? He's really having a hard time right now and he feels like he's going through it alone," Kunsel pointed out matter-of-factly.

"You don't know that," Zack shot back at him. "You don't know what he feels—"

"Zack," Aerith said softly, trying to intervene.

"No," Zack said to her, silencing her. "You don't know anything about him," he continued, turning his attention back to Kunsel. "Cloud knows he's not alone. He knows I'm always there when he needs me. He likes where he works, he's got Tifa calling to check up on him every other damn hour of the day and he's got people at work that he gets along with, including some girl he's apparently pretty keen on. He's not self-destructing."

"The girl he broke up with?" Kunsel questioned when Zack had finished.

Zack was silent for a few seconds. "He broke up with her?" he said at last.

Without confirming, Kunsel went on. "You know what he told me? All he does is go to work and then he comes home and goes to bed. And he's happy for you, which is probably why he hasn't said anything to you, but he _is _lonely. And scared and angry as hell. I can tell that just by looking at him. Maybe you should try it some time."

Zack stared back at him a moment, not sure how to respond. Turning to Aerith, he leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll call you later," he said and she nodded, watching as he pushed past Kunsel to get outside.

"Wait, I'll drive you," Kunsel called after him. Before he could leave, Aerith stopped him.

"Please, Kunsel, don't tell him about what happened between us when he was gone," she whispered.

Kunsel was a little surprised by her plea. He was sure Zack would already have confronted her about what he'd found out had happened between the two of them. "He already knows," Kunsel revealed, making Aerith pale a little in an instant. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I couldn't lie to him," he explained softly, pulling away from her and going after Zack.

For the first few seconds of the drive there was silence, but Kunsel couldn't keep it going. He had more to say.

"What's up with you, Zack?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Zack replied casually, looking out the window.

"I mean, you've been hyper-protective of that kid since he was an Academy cadet and now..."

"Now what?" He looked over expectantly but Kunsel just shook his head. "I call him...it's not my fault if he doesn't talk to me."

Kunsel looked at him doubtfully. "Are you sure you're even listening?" he asked.

Zack closed his eyes in frustration, putting a hand to his forehead and rubbing it slowly. "No," he admitted quietly. "I'm not sure."

"Maybe he doesn't want you to call. Maybe he just wants to friggin' see you," the SOLDIER suggested.

"Kunsel, you're giving me a headache, what do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. You can say it to Cloud."

"Fine," Zack said.

There was a moment of silence before Kunsel concluded with "You know I'm right."

_Yeah_, Zack thought to himself. _You always are_.

000

When Zack entered the apartment, he found Cloud lying on the couch in the dark. His arms were crossed over his chest as he stared at the T.V., not even looking over when Zack walked through the door. Slowly, Zack approached the couch and set his jacket down over the back of it. He struggled with what to say first. Part of him was really angry over what Cloud had gotten himself into that night, but the rest of him was feeling pretty concerned and guilty.

"So, uh," he began softly, "Kunsel came and told me where you went tonight." He saw Cloud roll his eyes.

"You gonna yell at me?" Cloud asked bitterly.

"No," Zack replied. "Are you alright?" he questioned.

"Fine," was Cloud's short answer, as he kept his attention turned away from Zack.

"Can we talk then?" Zack said next. It took a moment, but Cloud sat up slowly, making room for Zack to sit down next to him. "What's going on?" he asked when he was sitting.

"Nothing," Cloud claimed, drawing a sceptical look from Zack.

"Okay..." Zack said, thinking up a different approach. "What made you decide to start a fight with Reno? Besides the obvious reason that he's a dick."

"I dunno," Cloud said before adding "I hate him."

"Well, so do I, but that's not really a reason," Zack pointed out. "So why then?"

"Because," Cloud said simply.

"Because?" Zack repeated with a questioning tone.

"Because, why not?" Cloud answered sharply. "He and Rude, and Tseng, they all knew what Hojo was doing to us and they helped him do it! I remember some of the times Hojo made me fight Reno and how the Turk would torment me whenever he had the chance. He thought it was funny, Zack, funny that we were so helpless and fucking terrified." Zack watched Cloud with a bit of awe. He didn't get a chance to say anything before his friend continued. "I'm having hallucinations," he announced quietly.

"What?" Zack breathed out, shaking his head. "Since when?" he dared to ask.

"The first time was the day I got hit by that car," Cloud revealed. "I saw Sephiroth," he added, his eyes on the floor.

Zack looked him in shock, his mouth agape slightly. "Cloud, that was weeks ago," Zack pointed out and Cloud nodded. "So you...see Sephiroth now?" he said as he shook his head in disbelief.

"Not just him," Cloud answered flatly. "I saw Hojo tonight," he said next, sending a shiver down Zack's spine. "He ripped a tooth from my mouth with a pair of pliers," he said with a strange little laugh that faded fast and had Cloud getting serious again in an instant. "I remembered tonight a time when Hojo used those pliers on me," he confessed. Zack remembered that incident well. Or rather, he remembered Hojo bringing him the evidence of what he'd done to Cloud as punishment for an escape attempt. "Reno and Rude were there," Cloud added to Zack's surprise. He hadn't known that they were present during that horrific event. Cloud's breathing changed suddenly as it seemed he was about to break down. As the light from the television illuminated his friend's profile, he could see the tears that started rolling down his one cheek. "They just stood there and watched as he tortured me," Cloud said before releasing a sob. "When I saw Reno tonight, I just wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to feel pain for once, I just..."

He didn't finish his sentence before he let himself cry instead, resting his elbows on his knees as he held his head and rocked forwards and back a few times. He said something through his sobs that Zack could barely make out, but which sounded like "I just want to sleep."

Zack moved himself a little closer to Cloud and reached for him, placing a hand on his furthest shoulder, about to pull him even closer when Cloud made a movement with his shoulders, like a shrug, like he didn't want to be touched. Zack was suddenly very aware of how long it had been since he'd really made physical contact with Cloud. To think that his friend was becoming just as uncomfortable with him as with anyone else really struck him hard. He shook his head, exhaling in slight despair over the state of his friend.

"Why didn't you tell me this was happening to you, Spike?" he asked when it sounded like Cloud was calming.

"I don't know," Cloud answered almost tiredly. "I wanted to. I tried but..."

"But what?" Zack inquired and Cloud finally looked at him.

"But you were with Aerith. You're always with her, and...you're happy, and I don't know...maybe I just didn't want to give you a reason to..."

"To what?"

"To...worry, or...care. I'm happy that I guess you're moving on—"

"Moving on?" Zack said fast. "What are you talking about, Cloud?"

"Well that's what you're doing, right? Isn't that why you're never here anymore?"

"No," Zack denied. "I—" He stopped as he realized he had no easy answer to give. He hadn't thought much about the fact that he'd been spending most of his free time with Aerith and now that it was becoming obvious that he truly had been avoiding the apartment he didn't have a simple answer for why. He loved being with Aerith, but that wasn't the reason. The reason was that with her he could escape the fact that he felt lost. After the Turks had come to the apartment, he'd been wrestling with himself over what he should do, and he didn't _know _what to do. At home, he felt nothing but anxious. He was always worried over whether or not they should stay there, whether they were ever going to feel safe when walking the streets, whether they'd have enough money to live, whether Cloud was going to figure out he'd been lying to him. It was clear in his head now. He'd been running away. He had convinced himself, just a little, that Cloud was doing just fine without him, which clearly wasn't the case, and he knew he wasn't really doing any better himself.

"I'm really sorry, buddy, that I've been such an idiot. I'm not trying to 'move on' with Aerith. I've just been...scared I guess, of facing reality," he admitted sadly. "But you can't keep things from me, Spike," he added.

"Like you keep things from me?" Cloud retorted.

Zack stared at him a moment, his pulse pounding as he had the dreaded thought that Cloud had figured out he'd been lying to him. He was about to reply when Cloud rose from the couch suddenly and disappeared into the bedroom. He returned with something in his hand. He tossed it toward Zack, the object landing in his lap.

He groaned when he saw what it was. "Cloud, it's not what it looks li—" he started to say as he picked up the familiar orange container. He hadn't seen it though since the day it had been slipped into the bag with Cloud's medication by Rayna, Scorch's 'not'-girlfriend.

"What is it?" Cloud cut him off.

Glancing at it, Zack shook his head. "It's nothing," he said simply.

"It's something," Cloud argued. Zack came to a stand and faced him.

"Seriously, Spike, it was just some kind of mix up with the guy I get your meds from," he sort of lied.

"Then why do you still have them?" Cloud retorted. It was a good question.

"I kinda forgot about them actually," Zack said truthfully. He really hadn't thought about the pills since the day he'd received them. "I'll get rid of them, alright?" he suggested as he pocketed the container. Cloud gave the slightest of nods and let his gaze wander downwards. Zack forced an uneasy smile. "Can I hug you now?" he asked, standing and drawing Cloud's eyes back to his. "Please?" Zack added as he closed the distance between him and his friend. He didn't wait for Cloud's answer before he wrapped his arms around him, holding onto him lightly at first, but gripping him tighter when he finally felt Cloud reciprocating. "It'll be okay, Spikey," Cloud heard Zack say near his ear. He really wanted to believe it.

"So," Zack said when they parted and Zack headed towards the bedroom with Cloud following. "Did you kick Reno's ass, or what?" he asked.

"Not really," Cloud answered lowly. "Broke his nose," he added and Zack laughed.

"As much as I like the thought of him bleeding, please don't start a fight with him again, Spike," Zack ordered lightly.

"Fine," Cloud muttered, not about to make any promises.

"Kinda looks like you haven't slept in here in awhile," Zack remarked when he looked at the bed.

"I haven't," Cloud confirmed, drawing a confused look from Zack. "I've been sleeping on the couch. If you can call it sleep."

"Alright...how come?" Zack inquired as he pulled back the covers on the bed.

"Because I hear things when I'm in here alone," he stated as though it were common knowledge.

"What do you hear?"

"Noises," Cloud explained without further description. "I don't really want to talk about it right now if that's alright."

Zack nodded in understanding. Cloud had already given enough information on what he'd been going through, he really didn't need the extra details from him. "Yeah, of course," he said with a reassuring smile.

Cloud watched Zack as he sat on the edge of the bed and began removing his boots. "So, you're staying tonight?" he asked awkwardly and Zack chuckled.

"Uh yeah," he replied simply. Cloud nodded before turning to leave. "Spike," Zack called after him and he turned.

"I don't think I can just..." he trailed off as he considered his words. "you know..." Turns out he really didn't have the words but Zack seemed to understand.

"Yeah, alright," he said with grim acceptance, watching as Cloud left the room. He shook his head to himself before laying himself down on the bed with his clothes still on. He couldn't get the voice out of his head that was saying he'd messed up bigtime.

At some point in the following hour, Zack dozed off but he woke when he felt movement on the mattress next to him. He turned his head and saw Cloud lying next to him. He was asleep and looked like he had been for a little while, but was shifting a little unconsciously. It was the first time in weeks Cloud had been able to sleep for more than just a few hours.

000

After Cloud telling him of the hallucinations he'd been having, Zack decided it best that he stay close to home for a few days. On Monday, when he and Cloud had both gone back to work after the weekend, Cloud seemed genuinely surprised to come home and find Zack there. While Cloud was grateful, in a way, to have Zack around more that week, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty that Zack was there with him and not off with Aerith somewhere. He'd never met her, but he didn't want her to think he was trying to make things difficult for them. He was almost a little relieved when Zack finally went to see her.

That Friday, Zack decided he'd go spend some time with Aerith in the early evening and would be back at the apartment a little later. He let her know that he would be coming. He never thought for a moment that someone else might be there, which reminded him that he shouldn't be just walking around and into places as if he was just an ordinary Midgar citizen. However, the person at the church wasn't a danger to him, not an immediate one anyway. He was just someone Zack preferred not to see, and that was Tseng.

When Zack had entered the church he'd stopped as his eyes fell on Tseng standing with Aerith in the centre of the main aisle. They looked his way and Aerith's eyes immediately dropped a little.

"What are you doing here?" Zack asked as he let go of the door and headed towards them.

"I'm having a conversation," Tseng said evenly.

"I don't want you here," Zack said firmly and Tseng glanced at Aerith.

"I don't think you get to decide if I come here or not," the Turk countered.

"Oh really?" Zack replied, looking at Aerith expectantly.

"We're just talking, Zack," she said softly. Zack looked at her incredulously.

"Oh," he spoke again after a moment. "Alright then," he added before turning around and heading for the doors.

"Wait! Zack!" Aerith called after him before following. She caught up to him quickly and stopped him.

"Why's he here, Aerith?" Zack fired the question at her.

"He came to apologize," she said softly.

"For what?" Zack asked, though he couldn't imagine there'd be any anything that would be a good enough answer to make him understand why the Turk was there now.

"For not informing her sooner of your situation as it stood," Tseng answered before she could.

"My 'situation as it stood'?" Zack repeated with a growing anger. "What the hell's that supposed to mean? That I was actually alive the four years you kept insisting I wasn't?"

"I had orders to follow," the Turk explained.

"Oh yeah?" Zack challenged, an eyebrow raised. "Were your orders to tell Aerith I wasn't coming back? No, I'm sure you jumped all over that opportunity happily." Tseng exhaled in what was a subtle indication of frustration. "Man," Zack continued "it must really burn you that you need me and Cloud for your ridiculous plan. I'm sure you were quite happy there for awhile imagining that you were going to have Aerith to yourself."

"Seriously, Zack?" Aerith spoke up in annoyance. "I'm not a thing for people to take."

"I know that," Zack said, rolling his eyes a little. "That's not what I meant."

"We're just friends, Zackary," Tseng assured him.

"Don't fucking call me that," Zack warned. "You know, no matter how many times you say that, Tseng, I'm never gonna believe you, so just shut the hell up. I know what I saw the first night I came here."

"And what did you see?" Tseng tried to seem confused.

"You know what I saw," Zack said icily.

"Aerith's a beautiful woman, any man would be lucky to have her affection. And for some reason she chose you. I'd be lying if I said I weren't a little envious but...I want Aerith to be happy, which she clearly is, with you. Anyway, I have things I should attend to," he announced as he began heading for the exit. He paused while passing Zack. "Have you given any more thought to what I and my colleagues discussed with you?" he asked quietly and Zack gave him a severe look. "Well...think about it."

Zack turned for the door a moment after Tseng had left. Aerith grabbed his arm. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"Home," he replied, moving to pull away but she kept her hold on him.

"Zack! You can't just leave!" she nearly shouted in frustration.

"Then tell me the truth about why he was here," Zack suggested.

"I told you the truth," she declared. "He came to apologize."

"For?"

"Just what you thought," she claimed.

"For telling you I was dead," he said and she nodded. "And?"

"And what? You walked in then."

"So you forgive him?"

"I...I don't know," she said and he scoffed before turning again to leave. "Zack! What am I supposed to say?"

"How 'bout 'no'!" he suggested angrily.

Shaking her head, she just replied with "Things just aren't so simple, Zack"

"Oh really?" he shot back at her. "Did you forget everything I told you before? About how Tseng knew we were being held captive and picked apart by Hojo?"

"No," was her quiet answer.

Zack ran his hands through his hair and groaned in annoyance. "He lied to you, Aerith!" he shouted at her. "He stood in front of you and told you I was dead when I wasn't."

"That doesn't mean I believed him!" she shouted back.

Zack stared back at her, breathing strongly. "Oh, you didn't? Really?" he questioned, his tone quieter again but with clear doubt within it.

Rolling her eyes and releasing a huff, she turned away a second before facing him again. "Zack! Why are you so jealous of Tseng?" she asked. "I don't understand it, I never have. I've never cared about him that way and I certainly wasn't going to sleep with him because he told me you were dead, if that's what you're thinking might have happened."

Zack couldn't stop the words that came out of his mouth with his reply. "No, you slept with Kunsel instead."

Aerith looked at him with complete guilt, her mouth agape as she struggled with a reply, having been taken a little off guard. She'd wanted to talk to him about it since finding out from Kunsel that he'd known what had gone on, but she hadn't imagined it happening this way. He didn't give her anymore time to think up a reply. Sighing quietly, he turned away and reached for the door. "I really can't be here right now," he said as he pulled it open.

"Zack, please don't leave like this," Aerith pleaded, tears coming to her eyes. "I love you and I'm sorry about what happened with Kunsel, it was just—"

"One time, meant nothing, we thought you were dead at the time," Zack cut her off. "Yeah, I know," he said flatly before pulling away from her and leaving the church.

000

When Zack walked through the door back at the apartment, Cloud looked back from where he was washing dishes in the sink. He could tell immediately that Zack was upset about something but that he most likely wasn't going to want to talk about it. He pushed the door closed behind him and took his jacket off, tossing it at the couch.

"Hey," Cloud called to him.

"Hey," Zack said back lowly before making his way to the bedroom without another word. Cloud watched him disappear into the room and shrugged a little, turning to continue with the dishes.

In the bedroom, Zack took off his shirt, which had become a little damp in spots from his sweat as he'd been walking home fast and with racing emotions. He pulled open one of the dresser drawers and pulled out a dry t-shirt. He glanced at the five medicine bottles that were sitting on the dresser top as he was putting on the shirt. Four were empty and one was very near to it.

"Spike," Zack called out to the living room.

"Yeah," Cloud called back.

"Is this all the medication you got left in here?" Zack inquired, taking the one bottle in his hand and looking at what liquid remained inside. It looked about a day and a half's worth.

"I think so," Cloud confirmed.

"Buddy, you're supposed to let me know when you're getting low," Zack spoke sternly to him from the doorway.

"Oh," Cloud said, pausing in wiping down the dish in his hand. "I'm low," he added before commencing in his washing.

Zack frowned, setting the bottle back on the dresser top. "Well, I gotta go up to the plate now," he remarked.

"You don't have to go tonight," Cloud replied fast. He really didn't have so much care these days over whether or not he had medication to take. He wasn't going to refuse to take it. If it was there, he was going to, but at the same time, he was growing fearful of it. Zack seemed to hear his thoughts somewhat.

"Hey," Zack said when he exited the bedroom and approached him. "The stuff works right?" The question was mostly rhetorical but Cloud nodded anyway.

"I know you can't be eager to have it because of what it's making you see and hear but...you can handle it right? A little longer at least. I'm sure it won't be as bad when you need less of the drug. Right?" He looked at Cloud with a questioning expression.

Cloud glanced back at him, seeing him smile reassuringly. "Yeah, sure," Cloud agreed though he really wasn't feeling confident about that, not just about needing less of the drug, but also about being able to handle the hallucinations. They seemed to get worse now every time he had one. "Seriously though, I have enough. You don't need to go up there tonight."

Honestly, Zack didn't want to go up to the club that night and he sensed that Cloud didn't really want to be left alone again so he agreed to wait until the next day. Scorch tended to have the medication ready for him these days because he knew Zack would be back for it again and again. Zack hated feeling like he wasn't the one in control of a situation and when it came to Scorch and Cloud's medication, he wasn't.

After deciding to stay in for the night, Zack and Cloud had hung out in the living room for a few hours before going to bed. Cloud had asked him if something had happened between him and Aerith and he couldn't lie, but he also didn't really want to talk about it and he told him that. He was thankful Cloud didn't question it further.

Zack had genuinely been tired when he lay down that night but he woke after just a few hours, feeling angrier than he had when he went to sleep. Actually, he had a whole mixture of feelings. He was frustrated, annoyed, anxious, and sad. He couldn't ever remember being so angry with Aerith, and while he felt he had a right to be, he also felt the opposite. As much as he hated to admit it though, a part of him was really having a hard time letting go of the fact that she might have been able to accept his death. What happened to him and Cloud wasn't her fault, or Kunsel's, or the fault of any of their friends from before, but for some reason Zack felt let down by all of them. He felt let down by the whole damn world.

His thoughts were making him hot and uncomfortable lying in bed so he got up and put on some clothes, hoping it would be a little cooler outside. He didn't intend on going very far. He just needed a few minutes of moderately fresh air, if slum air could be considered fresh. He looked at Cloud once before leaving the room. He seemed to be in a pretty deep sleep at that point, so he doubted he'd wake before he got back.

Outside, he wandered slowly down the street, looking in some of the dark shop windows and at the abundance of places with boarded up windows. A few blocks away from the apartment were the remains of a playground, though he didn't doubt kids still used it. One slide still looked good enough to use and there was still a functional swing set. When he plunked down on a nearby bench he heard something rattle in the one pocket of his cargo pants. He reached in slowly and pulled out the pill container he'd put there several nights before. He hadn't worn the pants since that day.

"Damn, I forgot about you again," he remarked. He felt like the pills were haunting him. He rolled the container in his hands for a few minutes, listening to the pills moving around inside before he took the cap off and peered inside. He didn't recognize them as anything he'd seen before and there were no letters or numbers printed on them. They were just small, circular and a greyish-white color. "What are you?" he muttered aloud. He tipped the container and shook out two of the pills into the palm of his hand before setting the bottle down next to him. He took one of the pills between his thumb and forefinger and held it up for a closer look. It really was small. He couldn't imagine something that small having any kind of effect on him at all. He cocked his head as he thought about that. When he was in the lab, and Hojo had administered to him different amounts of different substances, he found that even the smallest amount of certain drugs had an almost immediate effect on him. And just a tiny dose of something Hojo had forced him to become accustomed to could mean the difference between a dull ache and the intense pain of withdraw. He remembered that well, and how pathetic he had felt for needing what Hojo had made him addicted to...

_He lay on his side on the floor of the testing cylinder, writhing with pain, his limbs on fire and his stomach tied up in thick knots. _

"_God," he choked out as he gripped his stomach and pulled his legs tighter to his body._

"_Oh, Zee One," he heard a voice say from above him, muffled a little as it was hindered by the glass separating them. He tilted his head a little to meet Hojo's amused gaze. "You look pitiful," the professor remarked._

"_Wh-why—" Zack struggled to get the words to leave his mouth. He wanted to know why Hojo had been denying him his daily dose of drugs but it didn't seem like he was going to be able to get the question out. Hojo, however, seemed to recognize what he was trying to say. _

"_I thought it'd be interesting to see how dependent on the drug regimen your disgustingly weak body has become," the professor explained before reaching up to remove his glasses. _

_Zack groaned loudly as a wave of pain ran through his body, striking him with the sudden need to stretch his legs out fast, but he was denied that as well by the small space of the cylinder. His feet hit the glass and he pushed the fingers of his right hand through the holes in the grate below him, gripping the metal tightly. It cut into the skin of his joints as he called out loudly in frustration and sorrow. _

"_God, please!" he cried out as another shudder went through his body. _

_Over the pounding in his head, he could just barely hear what sounded like a chuckle. Zack forced his eyes upward once more, needing to see if he was imagining the sound. He wasn't. Hojo was emitting a low chuckle, rubbing the lenses of his glasses clean with a cloth. _

"_Stop," Zack barely breathed out, cold sweat dripping from his face. The professor didn't stop. He began to laugh instead. In Zack's head, it sounded almost hysterical. "Stop!" he repeated but the man wouldn't stop. Zack released the grate below him and covered his ears with his shaking hands. "Ssssstop it!" he yelled out before breaking into sobs. _

Though it had felt like days afterwards, Hojo administered the drugs to him a few hours later and slowly the pain had subsided. A person doesn`t forget pain like that that. What scared Zack to think about, more than the thought of having that kind of pain again, was the fact that at the time, he would have done almost anything that was asked of him to end it.

Leaning back in the bench, Zack took a deep breath, trying to chase away any building tears. If his only options were going to be anger or sadness, at that moment he chose anger.

000

Back at the apartment, Cloud woke from his dreams with a start, sweating and breathing hard. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the blankets down slightly and turned over, waiting for his heart rate to return to normal so he could settle back into sleep. He was starting to get better at ignoring the dreams and pushing them out of his mind before he could allow himself to contemplate over them. Inhaling slowly, he listened for Zack`s breathing, hoping he hadn`t disturbed him. After a brief moment of listening, he opened his eyes to confirm his suspicion that Zack wasn`t lying next to him. He wasn`t in the room at all.

Sighing a little, Cloud tried not to think about the fact that he was in the room alone and he tried not to imagine hearing what he always heard in that room at night when he was alone. He believed that part of the reason he hallucinated while he was alone was because he was expecting to. If he could just accept it for what it was and stop imagining the worst...

It was too late. There it was. The growl. But it wasn't coming from above him, it was coming from below the bed and it was moving. He could see through the darkness, the shape of the thing rising up from the floor at the foot of the bed, its growl low and rumbling. He was focused on its eyes, glowing like an animal's in the dark.

"It's not here. There's nothing here," he told himself, still managing to keep relatively calm until he felt the mattress depress slightly when the thing climbed onto the bed and began to creep toward him. He immediately wanted to draw his legs in but he suddenly felt paralyzed. All he could do is tremble and watch the creature draw closer, one inch at a time, its movements seeming deliberately slow, taking the time to terrify him. He struggled to move his arm across the bed toward the lamp next to him. It was as if his arm was made of concrete, but he was still able to move it with extreme effort, his hand touching the base of it as the creature let out a snarl that made him momentarily halt his movement. The thing was hovering right over him its face very close. While it seemed to act very much like an animal, Cloud thought its shape seemed oddly human, but for some reason, he couldn't see it clearly, nothing but its eyes that appeared like two whitish glowing orbs in the dark. He heard a sound then, like the creature was sniffing him. Drops of something wet hit the bare skin of his chest, making him wince in disgust. The creature was drooling on him.

"Go away," he whispered, shuddering at the sudden feeling of hot breath on his face. Those eyes were so close to his now and the creature had begun growling again, lowly, the sound coming from deep in its throat.

He couldn't take it anymore, he had to turn on the light and end it all. He was sure that if he turned on the light, his hallucination would end and the thing would disappear again. Without another moment's thought, his fingers found the switch on the lamp and flicked it on. What Cloud saw wasn't what he would have ever imagined. The light did not chase away his hallucination at all. It illuminated the creature that was hovering on its hands and knees over his body. It wasn't just any creature. It was him. He was looking into his own face, a mirror image but with eyes vibrantly green and pupils constricted to tiny slits. A split second was all he got to look at the thing before it screeched loudly in response to the light. Cloud screamed out as well in shock at what he was looking at. His cry was cut off abruptly when something hot, wet and green hit his face, some of it going into his mouth and his eyes, which weren't fast enough to close themselves in time. His eyes began to sting immediately and he reached a hand up to try and wipe it away. It felt like some kind of thick liquid and it smelt like something rotting, like compost. It tasted bitter and earthy and he tried to spit it out while trying desperately to sit up and get out of the bed. Releasing a snarl, his creature-self grabbed onto his shoulders and pulled him back fast, pushing him down onto the mattress.

"NO!" he yelled out loudly, trying to tear himself free of its clutches. Before he knew it, the thing was spewing more of the liquid onto his face, aiming for his mouth. He tried to keep his mouth closed and turn his head away but the creature's hands—his hands—were grabbing his head and forcing it back to where the creature could make a direct hit at his mouth. "ZACK! HELP ME!" he found himself screaming before the liquid was filling his mouth again. It seemed to be hitting him all over now, running over his whole face, filling his nostrils and forcing him to try and breathe through his mouth, which seemed impossible with all the liquid shooting into it. He thrashed his body as he began choking on it, coughing roughly and inadvertently inhaling the bitter fluid while it burned his lungs.

Somehow, he was able to reach up and slap a hand over his creature-self's mouth, keeping it from spewing a moment long enough that he was able to get a good enough hit planted in one of its eyes. It squealed and fell back on the mattress and Cloud took the opportunity to scramble out of the bed, getting tangled in the sheets and falling to the floor where he pulled himself out of the bedding and scurried toward the wall. The green liquid was blurring his eyes slightly and dripping off his face onto the floor. When he turned and looked back, he could see that the head of the bed was covered in it and the creature had recovered and was staring back at him from the mattress. It seemed angry now, squinting its now-injured eye. It hunched low on the bed, looking as though it were getting ready to pounce toward him. The moment it looked ready to strike, the door to the bedroom shot open and slammed against the wall as Cloud and his creature-self looked in that direction. A Turk entered, gun raised and ready to fire, he pointed it straight ahead toward the bed before pivoting and pointing in Cloud's direction. When he realized it was Cloud on the floor, he lowered his weapon immediately, engaging the safety and putting his hands on his knees as he panted.

"Holy shit," he said, looking up at Cloud who was still huddled near the wall, breathing hard and sweating. "I thought you were in trouble." The Turk holstered his gun. Cloud recognized him as one of the Turks who'd been in the apartment the day he and Zack had been ambushed. His name was Dominic. Cloud looked at the bed and to his surprise, his creature-self was still there. It seemed to be watching the Turk. Cloud kept his eyes on it as it climbed off the opposite side of the bed onto the floor. He could see it moving toward the Turk, pulling itself across the floor on its stomach.

"Nuh-n-n," Cloud struggled to form words. "No, look out!" he shouted to the Turk but it was too late as the creature grabbed his ankle and pulled him to the floor hard and fast, the Turk's head hitting the wall as he fell. It seemed to stun the Turk and immobilize him as the creature reached for something that was just visible at the Turk's ankle. When the creature took hold of it, Cloud could see it was a knife. Bringing the knife to the Turk's neck, Cloud's creature-self looked at him and its lips curled into a smile before it plunged the knife into the Turk's neck just as Cloud cried out "Don't!" It was too late as the knife was pulled from the young Turk's flesh and his blood began pooling on his neck and chest and running down onto the floor. The creature held the knife in its hand looking like it was about to make another plunge into the Turk but did something else instead. It whipped the knife Cloud's way, the blade narrowly missing him as it imbedded itself into the wall next to his head. The creature leaned down over the Turk then and started lapping up the blood from his gurgling wound. Unable to take it any longer, Cloud pulled the knife from the wall next to his head and rose to a stand before lunging toward his creature-self, releasing a cry. The creature looked up at him fast, screeching in his direction as blood ran from the sides of its mouth. Before Cloud could make contact with it, something stopped him, like an invisible force, like he'd run into a wall. He felt like something was holding onto him, forcing his arms to stay close to his torso. He thought he heard someone shouting his name and he shut his eyes. When he opened them he was looking at the floor. Adjusting his gaze, he could see someone's hands holding his upper arms.

"Strife!" the person shouted and he looked back over his shoulder to see the face of the Turk he'd just watch dying on the floor.

"Let go," he ordered but Dominic didn't immediately comply. "Let me go! Don't touch me!" Cloud yelled out, fighting to get out of his grip. Dominic let go of him reluctantly, watching him nearly fall to the floor.

Cloud stumbled towards the living room, barely able to keep himself standing he was shaking so bad. The Turk reached out to try and help him but he pushed him away. "I said don't touch me!" he shouted. "What's going on?" he questioned as he faced the Turk but took slow steps backward. He searched the apartment with his eyes for Zack but couldn't see him anywhere.

"You tell me," Dominic replied uneasily. "I heard you screaming from outside," he revealed.

Cloud felt suddenly like he was going to be sick. "Get out," he said as he headed for the front door slowly, stumbling again to his knees and reaching out for the couch to stop himself from falling flat on his face. "Get out," he repeated at a near whisper, pulling himself to a stand again and moving forward. While he wanted the Turk to get out, he also wanted out, seeing the wide-open door ahead of him. He'd just made it to the doorway when someone appeared before him outside. It was Reno, followed closely by Rude. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked when Reno looked at him.

"Where's the fucking fire?" Reno called past him to Dominic.

"False alarm, I think," Dominic called back.

Cloud felt his nausea become more severe very rapidly and there was no time for him to make another movement before he found himself vomiting, his stomach contents heading directly ahead of him and landing on the front of Reno's shirt.

"You did not just fucking do that," Reno said with clear disgust as he looked down at his shirt where amongst the obvious remains of food was some sort of greenish goo. "What the fuck?" he uttered in confusion.

"Let me out," Cloud mumbled, gripping the door frame. "I need out," he said louder, pushing past Reno and heading for the stairs.

"Rude!" he heard Reno call out as he just about left off of the first step. A pair of hands grabbed him and pulled him back, dragging him back into the apartment.

"Stop!" he cried out. "I need out!" he repeated loudly.

"Is he fucking high?" Reno questioned, watching Cloud squirm in Rude's grip, demanding to be let go. Finally Rude gave him what he wanted and released him. Cloud fell to the floor where he raised himself onto his hands and knees and vomited again. This time it was only thick green.

"If so, I'd love to know what it is so I can stay the hell away from it," Rude remarked.

"Dom, you wanna enlighten us here?" Reno asked Dominic, who was watching Cloud sputter.

"I heard him screaming from outside. I thought he was being attacked or something, that's why I called you. When I came in he was on the floor in the bedroom. He lunged at me and I restrained him. Now...this," Dominic explained. "Should we call someone?"

"Like who, genius?" Reno replied. "An exorcist? Jesus, it's fucking disgusting," he commented, looking again at the vomit on his shirt.

"Looks a little like—" Dominic began but Reno cut him off.

"Like what? Puke?"

"Mako," he concluded.

"Well unless he eats it for dinner, I don't see how that's possible," Reno said sarcastically.

They all turned their heads as they heard the sound of hurried footsteps up the stairs outside.

"Guess who?" Rude spoke first.

"Oh fucking great," Reno said. "I'm sure this looks really good," he added just as Zack appeared in the doorway, stopping and observing the scene in front of him briefly before erupting in instant anger.

"What the hell is going on!" Zack shouted at the three Turks before moving over to where Cloud was and crouching next to him. "Spikey," he said to him while pushing some of his hair from his face. Cloud was trembling, barely holding himself up on his hands and knees as he panted against the floor, sweat dripping from his chin. "What'd you do to him?" he fired at the Turks next.

"We didn't do shit to him!" Reno shot back. "Did you see what he did to me?" he asked then, motioning to his shirt.

"What are you doing here?" Zack questioned next, coming to a stand again to face them.

"I heard him—" Dominic began to explain but Reno interrupted.

"Shut it, Dom," he ordered. Zack looked at Dominic.

"Heard him what?" Zack asked. Dominic looked at Reno who shook his head at him before he faced Zack again.

"Screaming," he said.

"Dominic, I swear, man," Reno warned.

Zack narrowed his eyes as he looked at the three of them. "You were watching from outside?" he said, though it wasn't really a question. "After I told you to stay away?"

"We don't take our orders from you, Fair," Reno spoke, rolling his eyes.

"Get out _now_," Zack ordered, feeling himself heating with fury.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Reno said to Rude and Dominic. "Leave Fair to take care of the spewing baby boy of his," he added.

"Wait," Zack said before Reno could leave. "I wanna talk to you a minute." Reno looked back at him curiously before shrugging.

"Fine," he agreed, waving the others off. Zack listened to the sound of Rude and Dominic heading down the stairs before reaching down to take a hold of Cloud's one arm.

"One second," Zack said to Reno before helping Cloud to his feet and leading him into the bathroom. Reno took the opportunity to wipe his shirt off a little with some paper towel.

Zack lowered Cloud to the floor by the toilet in the bathroom and rubbed the back of his neck a little. "Be back in a minute, Spike," he said, watching Cloud nod slightly before he left the bathroom, closing the door behind him as he headed back out to the living room, approaching Reno. He paused to close and lock the front door, drawing an inquisitive look from the Turk.

"So, what are we talking about?" Reno asked from where he stood in the kitchen area. He took a few steps forward and tossed the dirty paper towel in his hand over his shoulder where it landed on the counter.

"Nothing," Zack said sharply, closing the gap between them fast and throwing his right fist into the side of Reno's face before he knew what was coming. The hit spun him around into the counter where he gripped the sink to keep from falling to the floor. When he turned his head to say something, Zack hit him again, that time sending him to the tile on the kitchen floor. "I told you not to touch him," Zack said before delivering a hard kick to the Turk's stomach that had him releasing a pained cry.

"Fair!" Reno said loudly as he pulled himself to his knees and pulled himself across the floor a few feet. "He started it," he tried to claim and Zack reached down to grab the back of his jacket, hauling him to his feet and turning him around before sending his right fist into his already bleeding face a third time. Reno stumbled backwards, hitting the wall. He let out a frustrated sound, bringing his hand to his face. "Goddammit! Stop fucking hitting me!" he yelled. Zack advanced on him again, despite his order and Reno reached up fast, grabbing the handle on the freezer door and pulling it open quickly sending it flying into Zack's face. It only stunned him though but gave Reno a second to move away from the wall. Zack was after him again quickly enough. When he reached out to grab Reno this time, the Turk blocked him and sent a fist into the left side of Zack's face. He shook it off easily and sent a hard hit into Reno's side. The Turk stumbled back again and fell to his one knee. "Fair, I mean it!" he choked out as he reached for something. As Zack reached him, Reno pulled a collapsible EMR from his pocket, opening it to its full length with the flick of his wrist and engaging it quickly. Zack stopped in his tracks, looking at the weapon pointed at him. "You know what this feels like," Reno said as he panted, and wiped at the blood dripping from his split lip.

"Put it away, you fucking coward," Zack ordered, pacing in front of him a few steps.

"Coward?" Reno repeated. "Fuck you!" he spat. "Obviously, you don't understand what you're doing. Your girlfriend in there," he said, pointing towards the bathroom.

"Cloud," Zack corrected.

"Yeah, whatever," Reno replied. "He asked for it. He wanted it, okay?" They stared at each other, Zack fuming inside. "Okay?" Reno repeated as he rose to his feet slowly, the EMR still held out toward Zack. Zack smiled and nodded.

"Mmhm..." he agreed, nodding. "Okay," he said quietly.

"Oh-fucking-kay," Reno said in return, lowering the EMR slightly. "We're done then?" he questioned.

Zack nodded but replied with "Not even close," before stepping forward fast and aiming to knock the EMR out of the Turk's hand. It didn't really work and Reno brought it back at him. He reached to grab it instinctively and immediately felt the voltage run through his arm to his shoulder. He called out and tried to let go but he couldn't while it was electrocuting him. It was up to Reno to disengage it, which he did so fairly quickly to Zack's surprise. Zack was finally able to let go of the rod and fell to his knees, breathing hard as the pain began to dissipate.

"That wasn't very fucking smart," Reno spoke from above him. Zack let out a yell and punched his right knee hard, finding Reno crying out and buckling, falling to the floor. Zack tore the EMR from his hand and threw it across the room angrily before he got a hard hit to his gut from the Turk. Reno turned to try and get up but Zack grabbed him from behind, wrapping his left arm around the Turk's neck and reaching under his arm and clamping his right hand on the back of his head while he brought him to a stand with him. The Turk fought against his hold as Zack dragged him towards the sink but he wasn't able to get away. When they were at the sink, Zack turned Reno towards it and took his hand off the Turk's head a moment to push the plunger down in the sink and turn on the tap full blast. "What are you doing?" Reno shouted to him as Zack pushed him against the counter and forced his head down into the basin while it began filling with water.

"You remember the day in the mansion that Hojo pulled off Cloud's fingernails with a pair of pliers?" Zack spoke to him from above.

"What?" Reno spoke back, still trying to fight against Zack's vice-like grip and lift his head as the water was nearing the tip of his nose.

"You remember don't you? Cloud remembers you watching. You and Rude."

"What're you talking about?" Reno questioned.

"Don't play fucking dumb with me, Turk!" Zack shouted at him, pushing him closer to the rising water. Reno's face was submerged a split second before Zack pulled him back slightly.

"Okay! I remember!" he shouted.

"You guys watched the freak torture him. You watched him torture a kid!" Zack yelled angrily. Reno's reply was cut short when Zack dunked his face back into the water and held him there, despite Reno's effort to pull himself out. Zack held him there about half a minute before pulling him up again. Reno coughed roughly and cursed. "Do you like the torture now? Huh?" Zack shouted at him harshly before pushing him back down and holding him there another half-minute. By then he could hear knocking outside the front door and Rude calling in. When he lifted Reno back the second time he took a heaving breath and continued coughing.

"Fuh-fuck you, Fair!" he called out as loud as he could muster, which wasn't loud at all.

"Oh, fuck me, okay," Zack responded and then proceeded to push Reno down once again.

"Wait—" he heard the Turk say before he was under water again. The banging outside the door was louder and more persistent. Zack brought Reno up again and the Turk began to choke out the water he'd swallowed. "Okay, enough!" he called out. "What do you want? An apology?" he asked. The banging outside became the sound of a key rattling in the lock.

"No, I don't want a fucking apology!" Zack said as he reached to shut off the tap. "Your words mean nothing, you piece of shit," he added. The door opened then and Rude entered with Dominic behind. Dominic pulled his gun fast and aimed it at Zack. "You got a key for this place?" Zack spoke down to Reno, though the answer was obvious.

"Let him go!" the young Turk demanded.

Zack laughed dryly. "What're you gonna do? Shoot me?" he asked rhetorically. He let Reno go then, throwing him forward where he landed on the floor and coughed roughly. Rude leaned over to help him up. "Stay the hell out of this apartment! Got it?" Zack shouted at the three of them. "And don't say one more goddamn thing to me, Reno," he warned. Though Reno looked thoroughly furious, he kept his mouth shut, grabbing his EMR and headed for the door with the others.


	22. Somewhat Important Note

_Hey everyone, not the chapter you were hoping for, I know, I'm sorry. I got thinking and I figured I should share my thoughts, since they relate to this story. So, a few people have mentioned that the story's kinda sitting at a standstill, which I guess I basically agree with in a way. I imagine that it probably seems that way when there's been so much time between updates, and because the chapters are fairly lengthy. In actuality, the story has only really spanned a few months, though I know, for me at least, it feels like a hell of a lot more time has gone by in the story. I also realize that nothing 'major' has happened in the plot so far, so in that way I do agree that things are sorta going nowhere. So I guess what I've been thinking about, given what people have been saying, is whether I should skip some things I had planned in order to move the plot along. I don't really want to lose your interest in the story so I'd like to do what I can to please. So, I guess I'm posting this note to let you all know that it's probably going to take me a little time to figure out which direction to take. I suppose I could put up a poll and you could vote for whether you feel I should speed things along a little and get to the bigger action, because I can certainly do that haha! If I choose not to amend my plotline right now then the pace of the story will remain pretty much as it is now for about two or three more chapters. I'll tell you that I'm feeling pretty neutral about the subject. I could go either way on this one. I'm certainly not opposed to skipping some things. That's not to say the things I had planned were going to be irrelevant and uninteresting, just maybe not entirely exciting. Anyway, before I really start rambling I'll end this note. I'll put the poll up right now. Thanks in advance for participating and helping me in my decision-making haha! Also, thanks to the people who shared their concerns over the story and its pace and plot. Once again, I'm sorry and I appreciate all of you reading and reviewing! _

_Take care!_

_-Jaydee_


	23. Chapter 19

_Well hello, friends! I am (once again) so very sorry for making you wait so long for an update. Work has taken me to a land without wireless internet so I haven't been able to get online for some time, which is also why it's taken me a little while to get replies to your reviews and messages back to you. I want to say thank you to all who messaged me to let me know how you feel about the pacing of the story and it seems that most of you don't mind the current pace so I'm going to continue as I planned originally, though as I think I mentioned the pace should be picking up a little anyway after this chapter or the next. Also, regarding the reviews, I believe one or two reviewers have their private messaging disabled, or something like that, because I wasn't able to send replies back. So to those people, thank you very much for taking the time to give me your thoughts and opinions^^ and I'm sorry to anyone I missed sending a reply back to. I hope you all enjoy the chapter. The songs are listed below (in no particular order) but it may take a couple of hours for me to update the youtube playlist. _

_Songs: (1) Dolphinarium - UNKLE, (2) __Once Rendering – Moving Mountains, (3) __Hold My Hand – UNKLE, (4) __...Like Starlight into Day – Hammock, (5) __Gold Lion – Yeah Yeah Yeahs, (6) __Machine - Biffy Clyro, (7) __Iceland – Bark Cat Bark_

Chapter XIX

Fury was still running through Zack's body as he watched the Turks leave the apartment before he walked up to the open doorway and slammed the apartment door shut after them. He turned his back to it and leaned against the solid wood, resting his head back while he took a deep, frustrated breath. Adrenaline was still coursing through him as well, and with nothing to exert his energy on, he found himself starting to tremble slightly. Realization of just how upset he was seemed to be setting in slowly, as well as the realization of what he'd just done, and what he could have done. He believed he could have _really _hurt Reno. In fact, he was so angry he could have killed him if he wanted to, and a big part of him really had wanted to. Still, he felt a little unsettled. His eyes wandered across the floor then and he looked upon the substance he assumed Cloud had expelled right before he'd gotten home. It was eerily similar to mako, but he couldn't see how that was possible.

From inside the bathroom, he could hear the toilet flush and he pushed himself away from the door to approach the bathroom, ready for the worst. Ready to find out that Cloud was becoming ill again, slowly losing mobility as the poison in his system raged once more. He took a slow breath when he reached out for the doorknob, but just as he did so the door opened and he found his friend looking up at him tiredly, his eyelids seemingly heavy. He was standing a little uneasily, but it was encouraging for Zack to see that he was in fact standing. His reassuring thoughts were brief, however, as Cloud took a step forward and his knees shook while he reached for the doorframe next to him. Zack grabbed for him instinctively, thinking he may be about to collapse.

"Spikey, you alright?" he asked softly, prepared to hold up most of his friend's weight for him, though fortunately he didn't seem to need it just yet.

"Uh, um...I-I'm dizzy," Cloud replied a little slowly, covering his eyes briefly with his one hand.

"Come on, Spike," Zack said then. "You need to lie down awhile," he added as he began leading him through the living room back towards the bedroom. Cloud nodded a little absentmindedly, not exactly hearing what Zack had said. He lifted his eyes and looked through the doorway to the bedroom where he caught sight of something: his hallucination, his creature-self, was still in there, standing near the foot of the bed and glaring out at him with its strikingly green eyes. Cloud tensed up in an instant and dug his heels into the floor.

"No!" he said fast and Zack halted, looking at him.

"Spikey, you need to—" he began to argue softly but Cloud interrupted promptly.

"I don't wanna go back there," his friend stated in a quivering voice, shaking his head. "I don't wanna go back there," he repeated. "Don't make me go back in there," he said a little quieter as he looked ready to cry. He put a hand to his forehead and shook his head again, this time almost in shame. "I don't—" he continued painfully, getting cut off fast by Zack then.

"It's alright, Spike, you don't have to," Zack said. "Just sit down on the couch then, okay?" he suggested and Cloud nodded, his eyes staring once again into the bedroom. "Alright," Zack said and turned them back toward the couch. As he was turning, he couldn't help but glance in the bedroom, trying to see what it was Cloud seemed to be looking at but there was nothing obvious. He let go of Cloud slowly as his friend sat down on the couch before motioning to head away to get some water from the fridge. Before he could take two steps, Cloud grabbed hold of his left arm fast.

"I don't wanna go to sleep," Cloud announced to him and Zack smiled.

"Okay, buddy, you don't have to," he assured him, beginning to pull away again. He was forced to stop once more when Cloud still gripped his arm. His friend looked up at him with almost pleading eyes. He seemed truly scared in a way Zack hadn't seen in awhile. Gently, he began to pull his arm away. "You need some water, okay? I'm gonna get you some," he said, watching as Cloud's hands let go of him slowly. Zack gave him a tight smile before heading to the fridge. Cloud let his eyes wander back towards the bedroom where he could still see his creature-self. It wasn't looking back at him though. It was in the doorway, staring Zack's way.

_Why can't Zack see it?_ Cloud asked himself. _Because it's not there, you know that. _

"I know that," Cloud whispered aloud.

"Know what, buddy?" Zack's voice inquired and Cloud looked up in slight surprise to see him standing in front of him once again, a water bottle in his hand. When Cloud said nothing, Zack motioned the bottle toward him for him to take. Cloud looked at the bottle and what was in it. Whatever it was, it wasn't water. It was dark, and seemed thicker than water. "Take it, you need it," Zack urged and practically dropped it into Cloud's lap as he took hold of it weakly. "I'll be right back," Zack said then as he moved away. Still focused on the strange liquid in the bottle, Cloud didn't notice Zack was headed toward the bedroom. When he realized, he called out.

"Wait!" he nearly shouted.

"I'll just be a minute, Spike," Zack assured him as he disappeared into the room. Cloud watched after him and searched for a sign of his creature-self, which he could no longer see. Casting his eyes down again he looked at the bottle he was holding. He turned it in his hands, looking at the liquid that seemed blackish-red when he held it to the light.

_It can't be what it looks like_, he thought. Looking back at the fridge briefly, he pulled himself off the couch and stood on shaky legs a moment before moving himself toward the kitchen, reaching out for things to help him along the way. He couldn't understand why he was having such a hard time making his body work for him. It was as if he was some robotic toy, and someone else had the controller.

When he reached the kitchen, he set the bottle down on the counter and reached for the refrigerator door handle. He held his breath as he pulled the door open and stared in at the shelves. There were five other water bottles in there and in each one was the same dark liquid. One of them seemed over-filled and some of the liquid had dripped down the side of it. Taking slow inhales, he reached into the fridge and touched the spilt liquid. When he pulled his fingers back he found himself looking down at what he thought could only be one thing, blood. Disgust and fear stung him and he reached into the fridge, pulling the bottles out one by one. He twisted their caps off and dumped them into the sink drain, becoming more frantic with each one, dropping the emptied bottles into the sink and onto the floor and covering his nose with his sleeve as the smell of it was suddenly overwhelming. When all the bottles were empty, he stepped back and his foot slid on something and he found himself falling. He reached out his hands and stopped himself from hitting the floor too hard but was instantly struck with the unpleasant feeling of thick and somewhat sticky liquid against the skin of his palms and between his fingers. The blood was on the floor, and not just a little of it. It was all over the floor. Before he could react, he heard a sound. It was an unsettling sound that he couldn't quite place and it was coming from the bedroom.

"Zuh-Zack?" he called out hesitantly, pulling himself to a stand and beginning to take slow steps toward the bedroom. He had an overwhelming feeling of dread settling in his stomach as he approached the room, and nothing could prepare him for what he found when he entered the doorway.

He collapsed to his knees at the horror of a sight before him. Zack was lying on the bed on his back, with his head hanging off the foot of the mattress. His eyes were wide and unblinking, his flesh pale and bluish. His arms were extended across the mattress on either side of him, his hands nearly hanging over the edges and his wrists were marked with deep wounds that were dripping blood to puddles on the floor. Hovering over Zack was the creature, its hands covered in what Cloud assumed to be Zack's blood. In one of its hands it held a water bottle like those Cloud had emptied in the kitchen. It was full with blood and the creature was looking at it with deep interest. Cloud made an anguished sound that drew its attention toward him. The creature narrowed its eyes and smiled before suddenly speaking. In a deep and guttural voice that Cloud could barely understand it said "I'm gonna bleed you dry next, Ssssspike" right before it lifted the bottle into the air and tipped it, letting the dark liquid pour out while it opened its mouth and intercepted the stream. Moving his eyes back to the lifeless ones belonging to Zack, Cloud fell back against the edge of the doorway behind him and broke into panicked sobs.

"Spike!" a voice called from behind him, startling him. He turned his head and found himself looking up at Zack standing over him.

"Zack," he breathed out, staring at his friend who had been lying dead on the bed ahead of him. But he realized almost immediately he wasn't even in the bedroom. He was sitting on the floor of the kitchen.

"What the hell are you doing, Spike? You dumped all our water," Zack said as he picked up an empty bottle from the sink. Cloud looked down at his hand that was clutching one of the other bottles. There was still a little water in the bottom of it.

"I-I-uh-I—" he struggled to give an explanation. "There was...something wrong with it," he stated finally in a quiet voice. He was met with a deeply concerned expression from his friend and Cloud felt immediately ashamed. "I-I thought...there was...I'm sorry," he added, shaking his head.

"It's okay, Spikey," Zack reassured him as he bent down to help Cloud stand up. "Just don't start tossing all the food too," he joked a little. Cloud took his hand and came to a stand shakily. When they were both standing, Zack went to release Cloud's hand, but his friend held on. Cloud let go only to take his wrist and he reached for Zack's other one as well. Zack watched him in confusion. He realized finally that Cloud was looking at the ample scarring on his wrists, scars that wrapped all the way around his wrists, though they were more prominent where his skin sat closest to bone. "Buddy?" Zack spoke after a moment of Cloud looking at them as if he'd never noticed them before. Cloud met his eyes briefly before returning his gaze to Zack's wrists.

"Where'd you get them?" he asked quietly, still looking downward.

"You know where," Zack replied and Cloud nodded.

"How?" he asked next. "I don't remember," he added.

"Mm...well some are from the Hanger," he began to explain. It was the place in the mansion where they'd been hung from the ceiling in a pair of cuffs as a form of punishment. Zack had spent a long three days strung up at one point, which had led to the cuffs cutting into his wrists and thus leaving their mark. "The rest are from a time we tried to escape," he went on. "I busted out of one of the lab chairs and the leather straps on the chair arms cut me up pretty good," he further explained. Cloud nodded again in understanding before letting go of Zack's left wrist so he could touch one of the deeper scars on his right one. Zack just watched him uneasily.

"Do they hurt?" Cloud asked strangely. Zack couldn't help but huff out a very short laugh. It had been awhile since he'd had the injuries. They really didn't feel like anything. They were just a little ugly when you really stared at them.

"No, buddy," he said with a half-smile.

Cloud let go of his right wrist then and dropped his hands at his sides. "No," he agreed, shaking his head, "of course they don't," he added in a tone that suggested he felt stupid for asking. He closed his eyes and put his hands to the sides of his head and Zack grew serious again as he watched him.

"You're really scaring me a lot, Spike," he announced honestly. "These hallucinations you're having, they're getting worse?" Cloud just looked up at him sadly, giving a short nod. "You understand what they are, right?" Zack asked next. "You understand they aren't real, and that they can't hurt you?"

"Yes," Cloud spoke back at barely a whisper.

"I don't know if these things are a result of the medication or...something else," Zack continued. "I just, I know that the medication seems to be working and I'm really scared to see you sick again. But I don't wanna see you go out of your mind either. I can try to find another way. Maybe there's something else...Maybe the Shinra scientists have some secret cure I could—"

"No," Cloud stopped him, glancing once at the bedroom where his creature-self was once again standing in the doorway, watching him and Zack. He looked at Zack squarely. "I'll be okay," he said softly, meeting Zack's eyes. "I promise." He certainly didn't want Zack to risk getting nearer to Shinra than need be and a part of him was starting to believe his hallucinations had nothing to do with the medication at all. If anything, they were spurred on by his sleep deprivation.

Zack sighed a little with raised eyebrows. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked. "Physically?" he elaborated. "You're throwing up some pretty gross looking crap."

Cloud looked over at what he'd expelled onto the floor. "I...um...I just feel tired," he said semi-truthfully. He did feel a little nauseous but not in a mako-sickness kind of way. He felt strangely full, like he'd eaten too much of something, even though he hadn't eaten very much at dinner.

"Okay," Zack said with a nod. "Can you relax for a little while on the couch?" Cloud nodded in return. "And don't empty anything else out of the fridge or cupboards?" Zack added, getting another shamed look from his friend.

"Yes," Cloud agreed softly.

"Good. I'm gonna clean up," Zack announced, motioning toward the mess Cloud had made near the door as he reached for the paper towels.

"No, Zack," Cloud said fast. "I'll do it."

Zack smiled. "It's alright, kiddo. I'm fine with mopping up your green goo. Just sit down already," he ordered, taking hold of Cloud's upper arm and guiding him back to the couch where he sat down somewhat dejectedly and watched guiltily a moment as Zack began to clean up what he'd deposited on the floor.

"I imagined there were Turks here," Cloud spoke after a few minutes.

"No, they actually were here, buddy," Zack corrected. "And I'm pretty sure you ruined Reno's shirt," he added with a smirk.

_Good_, Cloud thought to himself. "Where'd they go?" he mumbled as he closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the couch.

"Probably not very far," Zack said with a frown. "I don't think they'll be barging in anytime soon though."

"How long are they going to watch us for?" Cloud questioned.

"I dunno," Zack replied. He hadn't given it much thought. He had accepted it as a normal occurrence to see their vehicles almost everywhere they went.

"Are we...will we be helping them with their plan at some point," his friend asked next and Zack scoffed.

"Not a chance," he said swiftly. He felt just as strongly about it as he had the day the Turks gave their proposal. He wanted nothing to do with Shinra, and further helping the Turks would mean he and Cloud would have to make what happened to them public. There was a time when he thought he wanted that, when he thought he wanted the world to know what had happened. He felt differently now. He just wanted the world to leave him and Cloud alone.

Cloud uttered something quietly then that he didn't immediately hear but the words sorted themselves out in his head. _You think we really have a choice? _

"What do you mean?" Zack asked, pausing where he was crouched on the floor and looking over at Cloud.

His friend shook his head. "Nothing," he said. "I don't know what I mean."

Zack nodded uneasily and finished cleaning up the floor. He actually did know Cloud had meant and it was another thing he hadn't really given much thought to. How long were the Turks going to wait for them to change their minds? And what would they do if they didn't agree to help them? He didn't really want to think about it.

000

Cloud slept most of the following day while Zack tried not to go out of his mind with restlessness. He didn't want to leave Cloud alone but he had almost nothing to occupy himself with and there was plenty of thoughts occupying his mind and driving him crazy. At the forefront were his wonderings over how to fix things with Aerith. Though it was his primary thought, it wasn't the most important one. He needed to get to a phone at some point to talk to the doctor who'd repeatedly helped them out. When Cloud had woken that evening and seemed to be alright for the time being, he headed out to find himself a phone, thinking that if the doctor was able to suggest a particular drug, he'd be able to go straight up to Scorch's club on the plate to get it, along with Cloud's regular medication. There were several rings on the line before Lars answered. He wasn't too concerned with picking a particular phone booth to call from. He just didn't want to use his cell in case the doctor's phone was being monitored.

"Hi, doc," Zack greeted when the man finally picked up.

"Zack?" he questioned after a short moment of silence.

"Yeah," Zack confirmed.

"How's your friend been doing?" the doctor inquired.

"Well, he was doing pretty good for awhile—" Zack began to explain.

"Is he sick again?" Lars asked before he could finish.

"No—well I dunno, maybe," he replied. "If he is, it's not like before. He's been having some hallucinations, which I know you said could be a side effect of the medication he's on."

"That's right," the doctor agreed. "I'm sorry to hear that. How's he handling it?"

"Uh...well up until now I didn't really know that he was having them so I don't really know. I guess he's been dealing with it alright but tonight he seemed to be really struggling. And I don't know if maybe the medicine's not working now..."

"Why?"

"Well, he was throwing up tonight" Zack revealed, "and...I don't know, it was weird," he added.

"Weird how?" the doctor asked.

"It was like he was throwing up mako," Zack divulged, almost shuddering at the thought.

"That is certainly strange," the doctor agreed.

"You think there's an explanation that makes sense?" Zack inquired, certainly hoping there would be.

"I'm not sure. The only thing I can imagine is that the mako passed through into his stomach somehow and it's his body's way of expelling some of it," the doctor suggested. "Sounds like a good thing to me."

"Yeah I guess..." Zack agreed uncomfortably. "Is there anything you know of that might help with the hallucination thing. I think he's really losing a lot of sleep over it and it's not helping the situation any."

"Hmm...you could try stipizol. It's something of an anti-psychotic. It may help and it's the only thing I can think of that would be compatible with what he's already taking. It tends to have few side-effects as well, though side-effects aren't likely unless he's going to be taking it for quite awhile. One tablet every eight hours should help."

Zack nodded as he wrote down the name of the drug. "And this probably isn't something easy to get, is it?" he questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Not exactly," Lars confirmed his suspicions.

"Don't suppose you'd be able to get it?" Zack dared to hope.

"I don't think so. All I can do is give a prescription and for a drug like that I have to submit a report that would be accessible to authorities. They require it because anyone taking the drug is thought to be a potential threat to society."

"Alright, that's fine," Zack said, trying not to sound too disappointed. "I can probably get it the same way I've been getting his other medication."

"Good. Give it a try, that's all I can suggest."

"Fine. Thanks , doc."

"No problem. Take care of yourself."

"You too," Zack said in return before hanging up the receiver.

Heading away from the phone booth, he reached into his pocket and retrieved his cell phone. He dialled Cloud's number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello," answered Cloud's voice after the third ring.

"Hey, buddy," Zack greeted. "I'm gonna be a little while. I'm going to head up to the plate to get your meds. Will you be alright on your own?"

Determined not to sound as pathetic as he felt, Cloud answered with "Sure," though he knew he hadn't sounded enthusiastic about it.

"I'll only be a few hours, alright?" Zack tried to reassure him.

"Yeah, that's alright, I'll be fine," Cloud said a little more lightly.

"Okay, see you in a few hours." Zack ended the call and slipped his phone back in his pocket before leaving the booth and heading for the train station. He found himself once again in the basement of Scorch's club, waiting to see the dealer. This time was different though. He found himself sitting in the usual room with just a few of Scorch's men. For some reason the dealer wasn't there at the moment. It was about ten minutes before the door opened and Scorch entered, followed by Rayna and another of his men.

"Good evening," Scorch said as he undid the two buttons on his suit jacket and took a seat on his couch across from Zack. Zack looked at Rayna briefly as she sat down, the short skirt she was wearing rising higher on her thighs when she lowered herself to the couch next to the dealer. "It's rather unfortunate you should be here tonight," the man commented, gaining back his attention.

"Why?" Zack asked.

"Because I have nothing available for you," Scorch announced. Zack's stomach sank a little.

"I thought you had some stocked?" Zack said in confusion, shaking his head. "You know I'm gonna be coming back for it eventually," he pointed out.

"Mmhm, well, unfortunately a carrier vehicle of mine was intercepted by, shall we say, a disgruntled former employee."

"I need that stuff," Zack expressed firmly.

"I understand that. Perhaps tomorrow—" Scorch replied.

"No," Zack interrupted. "Tonight."

Sighing, Scorch raised a hand and beckoned one of his workers with two fingers. The man came forward and leaned down so the dealer could speak near his ear. The man gave a firm nod a few seconds later and stood straight again.

"Well, it isn't impossible to get tonight," Scorch spoke once again to Zack. "But, it will cost a little extra."

"What a shock," Zack muttered, rolling his eyes a little at the dealer's slight smirk. "Fine, whatever," he said in acceptance. "I need something else as well."

"And what would that be?" Scorch asked with obvious interest.

"This." Zack passed the piece of paper from his pocket across the table. The dealer looked at it briefly before raising his eyes.

"Not for you, I hope," he commented.

"I need it tonight as well," Zack said.

"Alright," Scorch agreed with a sigh. "Don't you want to know how much it's going to cost?"

"Not really." Zack shook his head. "I'm sure I can't afford it, whatever it is."

Scorch smiled. "Well, as I've offered before, an arrangement isn't out of the question."

"Yeah...well, how long will it take to get the stuff I need tonight?" Zack switched topics, not really wanting to think about such arrangements for the time being.

"I'd expect to be waiting a little while," Scorch said. "You're welcome to wait upstairs if you would like," he offered. "Rayna will keep you company." He looked at her and smiled. "Won't you," he stated rather than questioned.

"Of course," she agreed, coming to a stand. Zack watched her take a few steps toward him before she reached out her hand to him. He glanced from her to Scorch.

"She'll take care of you. Not to worry," the dealer assured him.

Zack rose to a stand without taking Rayna's hand but he let her lead the way out.

"Something tells me you aren't a big club-goer," Rayna called back to him when they'd reached the main floor.

"What gave me away?" Zack said back, though not really loud enough for her to hear.

"I need a drink," she announced, walking ahead of him towards the bar. The moment she reached the bar, the bartender took notice of her and immediately approached. He leaned toward her so she could tell him what she wanted. While she was leaning against the bar, Zack couldn't help but let his gaze travel down to the backs of her legs. He was finding them hard to ignore. They were long and lean and looked smooth as silk. Realizing that he was staring, he tore his eyes away and stepped up next to her, watching the bartender as he poured a dark coloured liquid from a shaker into a glass. When he passed it Rayna's way, Zack leaned closer to order himself something but the bartender just glanced at him and turned away.

"Hey!" Zack called to him as the man proceeded to walk to the other end of the bar without looking back. Zack thought he heard Rayna laugh and he sent a glare her way. "What's his deal?" he questioned.

"Don't take it too personally. SOLDIERs might as well be cops. People here don't really have a respect for authority," she said with a smile before taking her drink from the bar top and turning away. Zack followed after her, stopping when she did at one of the tables nearby.

"I'm not a SOLDIER," Zack shot back at her. Ignoring his statement, she just looked at him expectantly. It took a moment for him to realize she was waiting for him to pull the one chair out for her. Sighing, he did so. "Thanks," she said sweetly while sitting down.

"Don't mention it," Zack replied dully as he took his own seat. As he did so, he took hold of her drink and slid it towards himself before lifting it towards his lips.

"You may not wanna do that," Rayna said fast.

He lowered the glass slightly. "Why?" he inquired.

"You may not like it very much," she revealed with an expression he couldn't quite read.

Zack scoffed. "I think I can handle your girly drink," he countered and proceeded to take a gulp. It wasn't as sweet as he was expecting, or as strong.

"So?" Rayna called across the table.

"It's kinda weak," he called back.

"Guess you'll have to drink it fast," she suggested before looking over at the bartender, catching his attention. He gave a nod as he started making up another drink for her. Zack watched a moment before taking another few mouthfuls of the drink in his hand. He was actually pretty thirsty so he had to hold himself back from just chugging it down.

"So what's that like?" Zack asked when Rayna looked back at him and she gave him a quizzical look. "You know, commanding immediate attention and getting what you want without having to wait?"

"You tell me," Rayna replied sharply. "Don't first class SOLDIERs command immediate attention and get what they want without having to wait?" she retorted and in next to no time a server set her drink down on the table. She thanked her before looking back Zack's way, her eyebrow raised as she waited for his answer. He couldn't imagine how she'd know he'd been a first class. His general physique and the mako in his eyes is what suggested he was a SOLDIER but out of uniform there was no definite way to tell one class from another. He felt himself getting a little nervous that she may somehow know who he _really _was. He took another drink to mask his discomfort. "Can I ask you something?" she spoke a little louder across the table to be heard over the music playing.

"Do I have a choice?" he called back. She leaned forward on the table then and motioned with her right index finger for him to do the same. Slowly he complied, sliding himself forward on his chair a little and leaning in, resting his forearms on the table. He caught the scent of her perfume and he found himself inhaling slowly. She didn't say anything right away. She seemed to be studying him.

Finally her eyes focused on his and she asked, "How are you feeling?"

It wasn't the question he was expecting. He actually didn't know what he was expecting but once he let the question sink in he realized he was in fact feeling a little over-heated.

"I'm a little warm," he admitted.

"Is that all?" Rayna said in return. He watched her lips as they spoke.

"Mhm," he hummed before sitting back in his chair and reaching for the drink next to him once more. He downed the rest of it quickly, hoping it would cool him a little. It didn't, but within a half hour he wasn't sure if he even knew what he felt. He had forgotten why he was there and had no idea what time it was. He felt strangely revitalized and was suddenly very aware of the colours and sounds around him as they seemed brighter and louder. He felt strong and content and increasingly attracted to Rayna the longer he was near her. When he looked at her, her movements seemed to be made in slow motion and all he could do is focus on one part of her at a time. Eyes, lips, arms, hips, and legs. He watched her dance with several people as he stole sips from her drinks. There were moments when he thought he was going to go crazy looking at her and he felt the urge to get away from her. When he felt that way, he would wander from her, to the bathroom or the other side of the room, only to be found by her again.

He had just come out of the bathroom a final time and realized she must have been waiting just outside the room for him. "Come with me," he heard her voice like an echo and he felt his body being pulled forward. She had his hand and was leading him through the crowd towards the one wall. A door seemed to appear out of nowhere and suddenly they were outside and he felt the brick wall of the building at his back. He felt like he was losing seconds, like a disc skipping, because somehow, he had moved. It was Rayna's back against the wall, and his palms were against the brick on either side of her head while her own hands were running up his back underneath his shirt. He let his head drop slightly and he couldn't help stare at her lips for the hundredth time that night.

"You wanna kiss me?" she said barely above a whisper and he forced his eyes to hers.

"Yes," he said back. He really did, he wanted that more than anything in that moment.

"Then do it," she ordered, tilting her head so their mouths were mere inches apart.

"I have a girlfriend," he found himself saying. It was like an automatic function. He said it, but didn't really know what it meant in his current state.

"I don't," was Rayna's whispered response before one of her hands left his back and grasped the back of his head. He felt her breath on his mouth before their lips touched and he closed his eyes. It felt like he was sinking into the kiss immediately, like it was enveloping him. Their bodies were pressed so close together it was almost difficult to breathe and the one final clear thought he had was that he was clutching her one leg near his waist.

000

Cloud sighed as what seemed like the hundredth commercial in an hour came on to interrupt the crappy movie he was trying to watch. He reached for his phone to check the time. It was after midnight and Zack still hadn't returned. Slowly, he dialled his number and put the phone to his ear, listening to the rings and growing a little more anxious when his friend didn't pick up. He ended the call when he got Zack's voicemail and he slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"Relax," he told himself, adjusting his body a little as he lay on his side on the couch. "Twice the clean and four times the shine," he muttered along with the person narrating the current commercial that he'd had to watch over and over. He closed his eyes and let out a breath, thinking that even though he'd slept for several hours earlier, that he might be able to urge himself asleep once more. Surprisingly, he found himself dozing off after about ten minutes and had almost fallen into sleep when he felt something touch the back of his head. A hand stroked the back of his hair slowly.

"Zack," he said just above a whisper as he was forcing himself back awake. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Time to bleed," someone replied. It wasn't Zack. Cloud opened his eyes fast and turned over on the couch, looking up at the figure standing just behind the couch. It was Professor Hojo.

"Not again," Cloud breathed to himself, staring at the hallucination before him. "I'm not afraid of you," he said firmly then, hoping that somehow it would make the man disappear.

Hojo smiled eerily. "You should be, C4," he said as he reached into his pocket for something. He pulled from it two gloves, which he began to put on. "I'm going to cut you apart," he added with a chuckle. Two of his lab assistants appeared behind him then, moving to approach Cloud on the couch. Cloud reacted fast, pulling himself off the couch. He'd been lying. He _was_ afraid of Hojo. He was terrified of him. All he needed was to look at the man's face and he felt suddenly like a child with no abilities to protect himself.

He ran for the bedroom, turning and reaching for the door at the same time. He could see the assistants were right there and as he pushed the door closed towards them, their arms shot out to push back. Their strength outmatched his somehow. It was like his mako enhancements made no difference suddenly. He found the force of the door being pushed back at him sending him backwards where his legs hit the bed and his balance was lost. He fell back onto the mattress and the assistants reached for him while he retreated, pulling himself across the bed. One of them grabbed his left ankle and yanked him back down toward s the foot of the mattress before the other appeared at his side, leaning over him fast and grabbing his shoulders so he could turn him over onto his stomach. The second assistant was at the other side of the bed and together they grasped his arms and legs and pressed down hard.

"Hold him down!" Hojo ordered the assistants that put their weight on him, trapping him against the mattress. He struggled to move but was pinned down effectively on his stomach, his face pressed into the bedding. He struggled to breathe as he felt hands grabbing the material of his shirt and tearing it apart to expose the skin of his back.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" he screamed, straining to lift his head and look back over his shoulder, to see what was going on. He could see Hojo standing at the foot of the bed. Slowly, he moved around to the left side of the bed and he felt the man put a hand on his back. Beginning at his shoulders, Hojo ran a hand down his spine, stopping at his lower back. He reached into the one pocket of his coat and pulled out what Cloud recognized as a scalpel. "No," Cloud spoke fearfully. "Don't!" he cried out, seeing the professor raise the scalpel over his head. Cloud shut his eyes as he saw the instrument coming toward him and he let out a yell when he felt it pierce his back between his shoulder blades. Pained cries escaped from him, one after the other as he felt the blade move deeply down the centre of his back, slowly, all the way down to his lower back. He felt his blood pouring over his skin down his sides.

"I need to see you from the inside," the professor said then, pulling the scalpel back with an eerie grin. He dropped the instrument and reached for the long incision on his back only to begin pushing his fingers into it. Cloud felt his long, boney, digits grasping his skin and begin pulling it apart, making the wound wider. The professor didn't stop there. He pulled the skin further and further and Cloud felt it being pulled away from his vertebrae and then his ribs. The pain consumed him fast and he began screaming as blood was covering him, filling the bed.

"HELP ME!" he screamed just once before a bright flash of slight forced him to shut his eyes and a few moments later the pain seemed to fade and he found himself in darkness. It was quiet and Hojo and his assistants were gone. No longer pressed to a bed, he felt like he was floating, and the space around him seemed endless. Still, he didn't feel like he was alone. There was something moving around in the darkness. "Who's there?" he questioned hesitantly and waited for an answer.

A few seconds passed before he thought he heard a whispered voice answer with what sounded like "Mother."

"Mother?" he said back.

It was another long few moments before he received a reply. "My son," the whispered voice said in return.

"What?" he questioned in confusion.

"Come back to me," the voice said and he was able then to tell it was a woman's voice.

"I don't—" he started to say and the voice repeated itself with _Come back_. "Who are you?" he asked once more.

"Mother," the voice repeated its answer.

"Whose?" he asked, a feeling of unease coming over him.

"Yours," the voice said. Something about that answer, about the way it was said, struck Cloud's nerves and made him feel panicked. There was something so familiar about the voice and it scared him.

"No," he denied, shaking his head.

"Come to me," the voice repeated once more, closer to his ear.

"No!" he shouted, covering his ears with his hands.

Just as suddenly as he'd been thrust into darkness, his creature-self grabbed his shoulders and pulled him forward harshly, out of the darkness and back into the bedroom at the apartment where he found himself staring up at the underside of the bed. He didn't know how he'd managed to end up under the bed, or if he was even there at all. He could hear a low rumbling, like a growl, coming from next to him. When he turned his head, he found himself looking into the face of his creature-self. It narrowed its feline-like eyes and looked back at him, unblinking. Though afraid, Cloud just lay still and stared back at it, waiting for it to make a move. When a minute passed and it made no movements, he spoke. "Why do you look like me?" he questioned barely above a shaky whisper.

"I don't look like you," the creature spoke back in its guttural voice. "You look like me," it added before breaking into a deep-throated laugh. Thoroughly disturbed, Cloud reached up for the edge of the box spring next to him and began sliding himself out from under the bed. His phone slipped out of his pocket and hit the floor. When he'd gotten himself out from under the bed he knelt and bent down to look for it, but as he gazed under the bed, his creature-self shot towards him, screeching, making him fall back in surprise. Imagining the creature was about to follow after him, he picked himself up and headed for the living room, turning around once outside the bedroom and waiting to see his creature-self emerge from under the bed. Several long moments passed then while he was standing just outside the room waiting and it began to occur to him that his hallucination was probably over.

He took in a slow inhale, feeling relief coming over him as he forced himself to move toward the kitchen where he put his hands on the edge of the sink and leaned forward a little waiting for his nerves to calm. From the corner of his left eye he could see movement. A hand was reaching toward the counter to grasp the handle of one of the knives is its holder on the counter top. He turned his head and gasped at seeing his creature-self, the knife now it's its hold. He'd never seen the thing leave the bedroom before. It smiled as it looked back at him, taking a step forward. Cloud stepped back, taking slow strides as the creature walked toward him.

"You're not really here," he said aloud calmly, though he was beginning to shake.

"Neither are you," the creature spoke back.

"What?" Cloud replied, shaking his head. "What do you want?" he nearly shouted at it in anger and frustration.

The creature tilted its head slightly and gripped the knife in its hand tighter. "Nothing," it answered at last as Cloud felt the couch behind him, stopping him from stepping back farther. "Just your soul," his creature-self snarled and raised the knife. Cloud put up his arm fast to protect himself and in one swipe he felt the knife blade reach the skin of his forearm and the sting of it slicing into his flesh. He gasped as he stumbled back, pushing the couch back a few feet, and he looked down at his arm to see it beginning to bleed. _I'm okay_, he told himself. _It's not real_. He raised his eyes to see the creature had vanished, but the cut on his arm hadn't. Suddenly he became aware that he was holding onto something in his other hand. He held it up and found himself shocked to be holding the knife his creature-self had just attacked him with.

"No," he said aloud as he dropped the knife to the floor and grasped his injured forearm. He had to be imagining it still. No way had he just cut himself. It wasn't real. It couldn't be. The hallucinations couldn't hurt him; that's what Zack had said and that's what he had believed. He didn't know what he believed now as he was dripping blood onto the wood floor. "Zack," he breathed out shakily, looking around. _Why isn't he here yet?_ he asked himself in a panicked inner voice. He didn't know what to do but in that moment, he knew he didn't want to be in the apartment alone with himself. He made the decision fast to put on his boots and get out, needing some time to come to grips with what was happening. He didn't know where to go. He thought briefly about going to Tifa's, but out of fear of being questioned by her, he wandered instead. The streets were quieter than he'd ever seen them. They weren't without the few usual shady characters, however, which reminded him of the fact he shouldn't be walking around alone, though given what he'd been facing alone he felt rather fearless at the moment.

He didn't know what led him back to the first place he'd rested when arriving in Midgar months ago. It was as if some strange force pulled him there. He was drawn to it as though it were the only shred of safety still available to him. But then, it was a church after all. Weren't they all supposed to feel like safe places? He wasn't sure. He didn't know if he'd spent much time in churches in the past and really it didn't matter. He hesitated a little before pushing one of the large doors open. It opened with a low creak and he peered into the semi-darkness inside. Quietly, he stepped inside and eased the door closed before taking slow steps down the long centre aisle. He chose one of the pews near the front and sat down. It was so quiet. Every shift he made seemed to echo. He touched his arm tentatively then. It seemed to have stopped bleeding for the time being. How was he going to explain what had happened to Zack? He couldn't even explain it to himself. He was starting to have a hard time determining what was real. Was he even in the church at all? He was so confused and all he really wanted in that moment was to go home, wherever that was.

After a few minutes, he laid himself down, pulling his legs up onto the seat as he lay on his side and held his arms close to his chest. It wasn't long before he had tears rolling from his eyes that made him feel even more pathetic than he'd already felt.

000

"What's...what the hell," Zack groaned as he was waking. He lifted himself onto his elbows and squinted, trying to get his eyes to adjust. He didn't recognize his surroundings at all but he was in a bedroom, or rather what looked like it could be a one-room apartment. There was a kitchenette across the room and he could see Rayna sitting at the small table, smoking a cigarette as she flipped through the pages of a magazine. "Where the hell are we?" he called over to her, beginning to lower the blankets over himself and realizing he was lying in the bed with nothing on. "Where're my clothes?" he questioned fast, scanning over the bed.

"G'morning to you too," she spoke back without looking at him. "Right there," she added, pointing to a small pile by the door.

"Why?" he asked next, sitting himself up and putting a hand to his aching head. "What'd we do?" he included, imagining only the obvious. Rayna looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"We had amazing, room-shaking sex. I came like five times," she said flatly. For a moment Zack actually thought she might be serious then she smirked and looked away, taking in another inhale from her cigarette.

"Ha ha," he remarked, not impressed.

"You took them off yourself when you got here. Said you were hot," she revealed. "Then you passed out on the bed."

"Great," Zack muttered. "Could you," he said next and she looked at him with a questioning expression while he motioned to his clothes. "Do you mind?" he asked.

"Not at all," she replied simply, getting an annoyed look back from him. Sighing, she stood up and headed over to the door. She looked different than Zack had seen her before all those times at Scorch's club. She was wearing a pair of cut-off jean shorts and a tank top, her hair in a loose, messy bun. Her face was also different to look at without the eye make-up she usually wore. He couldn't help but think she looked pretty good. She tossed him his clothes and went back to her place at the table. He pulled his boxers from the heap and put his legs over the side of the bed, keeping himself covered with the one sheet. He glanced at her once and she smiled. "Don't worry, I won't look," she assured him. "Much," she added quietly when he leaned over to bring his shorts down at his feet so he could step into them.

"What the hell am I doing here anyway?" he asked as he dressed himself.

"Well, you were a little out of it," she answered, turning another page in her magazine. "A lot out of it actually. You weren't making any sense so I thought it irresponsible to let you wander off on your own. You never know how a person will react their first time."

Zack paused as he was doing up his pants and glanced back at her. "First time?" he echoed in confusion.

"On Sirex," she clarified. He turned to fully face her.

"On what?" he inquired.

"Sirex," she repeated. "It's something Scorch produces privately. No one else has the recipe. He was kind enough to give you a whole bottle of it," she explained. "It's very versatile," she continued on. You can have it any way you want it. Whole, crushed. You can chew the pills or swallow them, powder them and snort them, or melt down the powder and shoot it. Whatever your fancy is."

"W-w-wait," he spoke up fast then. "You..._drugged _me?" he asked in shock.

"Technically you drugged yourself," Rayna protested as she reached for a coffee cup nearby. She took a sip from it while Zack looked at her incredulously. "The drink was mine. I warned you you may not want it," she claimed.

"Uh, if you told me what was in it, that may have persuaded me against it further!" he shot at her. He was angry suddenly, pulling his shirt on fast.

"Whatever, you enjoyed it," Rayna commented calmly.

"I can't believe this," he spoke to himself as he struggled to get on his boots. "What time is it?" he questioned angrily.

"Just after ten," Rayna answered him. "You want something? Water? Ibuprofen?"

"No, I want to get the hell out of here!" Zack snapped. "Can you please tell me where I am so I can fucking leave?"

"My apartment," she said simply.

"Yeah, I gathered that," he responded sharply. "Be more specific."

"You'll know as soon as you step outside."

"Thanks a lot," Zack replied sarcastically as he headed for the door.

"Hey SOLDIER," she called to him as he'd just stepped into the hall. He stopped and looked back. "You forgetting something?" she asked and he looked back at her in confusion. She sighed and got up once more, reaching for something on the counter next to her. Zack could see she had three bottles, two liquid and one filled with pills.

"Oh, shit," he muttered to himself. _Cloud's medication_, he thought. "Thanks," he said quietly when she held them out to him.

"Mmhm," she hummed and smiled.

"So, you're sure nothing happened last night?" he asked softly. "Between us."

"You really don't remember anything?" she asked with a curious gaze and he shook his head honestly. "Hmm...guess that'll be my little secret then," she said with another smile.

Rolling his eyes, Zack turned away from her and started his walk down the hall to the exit.

"See you soon," Rayna called after him before he disappeared out the door at the end of the hall.

He searched his pocket for his cell and could see he had a missed call from Cloud that came in around 1 a.m. but no message. He didn't bother to call back though, just headed for the station so he could get back home.

000

It had been several hours by the time Cloud woke, still in the church, surprised he'd even been sleeping, but he didn't wake up on his own accord. He was roused by the sound of a voice calling down to him. He shifted a little, his eyes still closed, but he realized suddenly he wasn't at home when his arm slid of the edge of the hard surface he was lying on and he opened his eyes to see someone standing in front of him. It wasn't Zack, that's for sure. The person was wearing a pink dress. He let his eyes travel upward to see that it was, in fact, a girl, though he couldn't make out her face because a bright light was shining through a window behind her, shadowing her features as he squinted.

"Are you alright?" she asked, and with her words he remembered he was still in the church and there was now some stranger in front of him. He sat up fast, gasping a little as he did so. "Sorry," the girl said with a slight laugh. "I didn't mean to startle you," she added before sitting herself down next to him. As she did so, he stood fast, prepared to leave as quickly as he could, but he paused when he looked down at her and could suddenly see her face. She was beautiful, that's what occurred to him first but there was also something very familiar about her, like he'd seen her before. "Are you okay?" she asked with clear concern and he became aware then that he'd been staring.

Without a word, he turned to leave and he heard her rise behind him. "Wait!" she said fast and he felt a hand touch his shoulder, making him stop and look back at her. "Your arm," she spoke gently. "Is it injured?" she inquired.

It occurred to him then, as he noticed the necklace she was wearing, and as he looked into her green eyes, that he knew who she was, and, for that matter, _where _he was. He was in the church Zack had spoke of on occasion, the church that belonged to his girlfriend. The girl before him was undoubtedly Aerith.

"I..." he started to speak and she looked at him with anticipation, her lips turning up in a soft and reassuring smile. "I'm sorry for trespassing," was what came out of him before he was pulling away from her and heading for the doors.

"Wait!" she called after him. "You weren't! Please don't go!" she urged but he was already on his way out. He couldn't believe he'd just met Aerith. _The _Aerith. The girl Zack had talked about countless times. Of all the places he could have ended up, he had to end up at her church. He'd been there for hours, he realized when he noticed it was light out. He had no idea what time it was, and he wasn't sure if Zack was going to be at the apartment or not. A big part of him hoped that he wouldn't be there when he got back. He wasn't feeling much like being yelled at. And yet the other part of him was suddenly worried. If Zack hadn't been with Aerith that night then where had he been? Did he even make it home from the plate? What if something had happened to him? He made one stop at a public restroom before heading home so that he could wash the dried blood off his arm from the night before. The cut wasn't bad thankfully and looked to be healing already, his recovery aided by the ample supply of mako in his bloodstream.

When Zack walked in the door at the apartment he expected to find Cloud in the living room but he wasn't there. He also wasn't in the bedroom, or the bathroom, which quickly had Zack realizing Cloud wasn't actually in the apartment at all. Something on the floor caught his attention. A knife was resting at the base of the couch. When he bent to pick it up he could see there were a few drops of dried blood nearby. Anxiety came over him fast and he dialled Cloud's number hastily on his phone. From somewhere in the apartment he thought he could hear the echo of a ringing sound. He followed it toward the bedroom and walked around a second before he noticed it was coming from under the bed.

"Damn it, Cloud," he cursed as he knelt down to reach his friend's cell. Setting it on the nightstand he pocketed his own phone and headed back out for the front door, panic setting in slightly. He was startled a little when he opened the door and found Cloud standing there, his hand reaching for the doorknob. "Cloud!" Zack said fast, taking Cloud's arm and pulling him into the apartment. "Where the hell were you?" he asked.

"I was..." Cloud struggled with his reply. Should he tell Zack where he really was?

"Was where?" Zack said sharply. His tone made Cloud angry then.

"At the market," he lied. "Where were _you_?" he fired back at him.

"Why'd you leave your phone here?" Zack asked next, without answering.

"I forgot it," he lied again.

"You forgot it under the bed?" Zack returned sceptically.

Cloud shook his head. "I meant I lost it. I didn't know that's where it was."

Zack frowned. "You scared the crap out of me, Cloud, I found this and some blood on the floor by the couch," he announced and held up the knife in his hand. "What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," Cloud stated uneasily and Zack looked back at him with a severe expression that said he wasn't going to let Cloud brush him off. "It was just an accident," he admitted quietly and motioned to move away. Zack caught his upper arm and stopped him.

"What was?" Zack asked. "Show me," he demanded. It wasn't like he'd hid it. The cut was on the side of his left forearm. Zack just hadn't noticed until Cloud pointed it out to him. "What'd you do?" Zack uttered with slight shock.

"I didn't mean to," Cloud answered a little shamefully.

Zack looked back at him, understanding coming over him. He'd hurt himself during one of his hallucinations, something he hadn't thought could happen. Lowering his head slightly, he looked away from Cloud's arm and reached into his pocket to retrieve the bottle of pills there. "Here," he said as he held them out to Cloud. His friend took the bottle tentatively. "You need to take one every eight hours," he instructed. "I'm sorry I couldn't have gotten them for you sooner."

Cloud looked at the bottle in his hands briefly before looking up at Zack again as he was walking away towards the bathroom. He thought for some reason Zack was mad at him but Zack was ashamed. He felt terrible for not having gotten something to help Cloud sooner, and ashamed for whatever had gone on the night before.

Cloud stood in place a moment until he heard the shower being turned on in the bathroom, at which point he headed into the bedroom to get changed. When he was dressed in some fresh clothing, he sat on the bed and opened the bottle of his new drug. He wasn't really feeling hesitant on taking them. After the night he'd had, he was willing to try anything. With little more thought, he downed one of the pills, hoping some good would come from it.

He was still sitting on the edge of the bed when Zack entered the room, a towel wrapped around him. He barely glanced his way before reaching into the one pocket of his pants and taking out two bottles of what Cloud recognized as his liquid medication. He set them on the dresser and dropped his clothes from the previous day in a pile on the floor. He opened one of the dresser drawers then to retrieve something clean to wear.

"Where were you last night?" Cloud questioned after a bi t of an uneasy silence.

Zack paused. Without looking back he answered. "Uh, the plate. I told you I was going there. For your meds."

"But you weren't there all night were you? Were you at the church with Aerith?" Cloud spoke up a little louder, knowing very well Zack couldn't have been there.

"Uh...yeah, I was," Zack said to Cloud's shock. His friend was lying.

"So things are okay with you and her then?" he asked and Zack just nodded.

"Did you take one of the pills?" Zack inquired then as he pulled on some pants.

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed. "Thanks for getting them," he added and Zack sent a brief smile his way. "I hope they work," Cloud went on, looking down at his feet.

"They will," Zack said reassuringly. He pulled on a shirt and left the room, heading out to the kitchen. "You hungry?" he called but Cloud didn't respond. He waited a few minutes before following. When he stepped out of the bedroom and looked over at where Zack had started making some late breakfast he could see an empty space on the counter where the knife holder had been. Where Zack had hidden it and the knives, he didn't know.

000

Back at Shinra headquarters Tseng was called into the president's office early that afternoon. When he entered the man's office he could see the president sitting in his chair with a guest sitting in front of his desk, facing him. Tseng knew who the man was without him having to turn.

"President, sir," he greeted the president with the bow of his head and turned slightly to do the same for his guest. "Professor Hojo," he said his name in a voice devoid of the surprise he felt.

"We have a problem, Tseng," the president stated and the Turk met his eyes.

"Sir?" he questioned.

"I want to know where my specimens are!" the professor blurted out in clear frustration.

"I understand—" Tseng began to reply.

"Well, where are they?" Hojo shot out almost immediately.

"Professor, please," the president spoke, subduing Hojo momentarily.

"How many Turks are currently searching for the professor's specimens, Tseng?" the president asked.

"Ten, including myself, sir," Tseng revealed, though only three were actually still looking.

"Perhaps you can explain to me how it is that it has been about four months since you were charged with the task of finding them and you still stand here empty-handed. Surely, ten Turks should be able to handle a little retrieval mission such as this."

"Yes, sir," Tseng agreed. "My apologies. It would appear Zack Fair is still very much the SOLDIER he was once, capable of eluding—"

"Z1!" the professor nearly shouted. Tseng looked at him briefly, watching him remove his glasses from his face so that he could clean them with a cloth while he trembled with anger.

"That is an excuse, Tseng," the president pointed out. "Which you know I don't accept."

"Of course not, president," Tseng agreed with a nod.

"Do you know how much money is invested in these escaped experiments?" the president asked then. Before Tseng could answer the professor spoke up again.

"Do you know how dangerous they are?" he said sharply. "If you knew what C4 is capable of, you'd—"

"Thank you, professor," the president interrupted. "Public safety is, of course, a top priority," he concluded. "Professor, why don't I meet you in the labs downstairs," he suggested then. "I will be down shortly and you can discuss with me the progress of your current projects."

Hojo agreed reluctantly and headed for the door.

"Professor," Tseng said with another nod as he passed but the man ignored him and left swiftly. As much as he was hoping to be dismissed immediately, Tseng knew the president wasn't finished with him yet.

"Sit down, won't you, Tseng," the president ordered as he gestured to the chair Hojo had just vacated. He did as instructed and then watched as the president pushed himself up from his own chair and began to round the desk toward him. "I'm disappointed in you, Tseng," he said as he approached him from behind.

"I'm sorry, sir," he replied, though he didn't really mean it.

"It's unlike you to not complete a task expediently," the president went on. "Perhaps I've been giving you too much to do," he suggested.

"No, sir," Tseng denied. He glanced down slightly when he felt the president's hands on his shoulders.

"You seem tense," the president commented, his hands moving to massage Tseng's shoulders gently. "Should I be worried about your stress level? It may be affecting your work," the man suggested, his hands making their way towards his neck slowly to loosen the tie the Turk wore with his suit.

"No, sir," Tseng repeated. He had to suppress a gasp when the president held onto the ends of his tie tightly and slid them around on his neck before pulling back on them, the material constricting at his throat fast. He looked up at the president with a blank expression, trying not to let his discomfort show.

"Then what is it?" the president asked. "Is your loyalty to me and my company wavering?" he questioned sharply.

"Of course not, President," Tseng assured the man. "I will always be loyal to the company." The president looked at him a little doubtfully. "And to you," Tseng added. The president studied his expression a few moments before releasing his tie and moving to stand in front of the Turk. Tseng watched him place his hands on the arms of the chair and lean down, his face coming close to his own. He kept very still, even as the president's one hand moved from the arm of the chair to rest on his left thigh and the man's other one began unfastening the buttons of his shirt.

"Then you better show me, Tseng," the president spoke firmly. "The way you used to," he added with a smile.

When Tseng was finally dismissed, he went back to his quarters where he sat and listened to his phone ring while he stared at it. It was Cissnei and he wasn't really feeling like discussing business with her at the moment. He waited until he'd showered and changed into a fresh suit before calling her back.

"What is it Cissnei?" he asked when she'd picked up.

"I think we need to shuffle people up a bit on watch over Zack and Cloud, and maybe get everyone together to re-discuss some procedural issues," she explained.

He took a deep breath before answering. Right now, the last people he really wanted to be concerning himself with were Zack and Cloud, but unfortunately they were a priority whether he liked it or not.

"Fine, get everyone together," he instructed. "I'll be with you shortly."

When he entered the meeting room where they were to convene, he noticed not everyone was present.

"Where are Rude and Reno?" he asked the rest of the group.

"They're coming. Late as usual," Cissnei remarked. Tseng nodded before taking a seat.

"What's the problem with the watch schedule?" he asked.

"Well," Cissnei responded hesitantly. "I know you feel the experience Reno and Rude has makes them good watchmen, but..."

"But what?" Tseng inquired.

"But...they just may not be the best for this particular job," Cissnei suggested. Before Tseng could respond, the door opened and Rude entered with Reno close behind. Immediately Tseng observed the state of Reno's face. Much of the left side of it was bruised and the left side of his lower lip was cut and swollen.

"Hey, boss," he greeted before taking a seat at the table, along with Rude.

"What happened to you, Reno," Tseng asked and Reno smiled.

"Nothin', boss, all good here," he said with a shrug.

"If by 'nothing' you mean Fair beat your ass," Bowen commented.

"Shut the hell up," Reno fired at him. "Nobody beat my ass!" he argued.

"When did this happen?" Tseng questioned, looking at Rude when Reno didn't immediately answer him.

"Night before last," Rude revealed.

"Why?" Tseng inquired next.

"Because Dom's an idiot," Reno spoke up, getting a shocked look from Dominic.

"I'm not, I—" he began to argue but Tseng cut him off, demanding an explanation from him. "I was on watch outside the apartment. Strife was in there alone and I heard him screaming from outside so I thought there was something wrong. I called Reno and Rude for back-up and entered the apartment—"

"Long story short, Strife was having a freak out over his own mental problems and while we were in the apartment, douchebag Fair shows up and goes into his usual pissy mode. The end," Reno finished for Dominic.

"I still don't understand how it became a physical confrontation if Rude and Dominic were with you," Tseng commented.

Rude and Dominic looked at one another. "We weren't exactly in the apartment with Reno at the time..." Rude said hesitantly.

"No, you were outside dicking around while the asshole was drowning me," Reno shot at his partner.

"You told us to leave!" Dominic defended.

"What'd you say to Zack to make him go off on you anyway?" Cissnei questioned before Reno could reply to Dominic.

"You suggesting I started it?" Reno fired back at her and she laughed.

"Of course you did!" she countered.

Reno rolled his eyes. "What the hell would you know about it, anyway?"

"Two words," Cissnei said back, "Shinra Mansion."

"Maybe he just fucking hates me," Reno suggested.

"Can you blame him?" Cissnei shouted back, her tone serious now.

"Enough!" Tseng shouted as he stood and slammed his one palm down on the table top, silencing them. "This isn't a game. Zack and Cloud are dangerous and they have a great deal to lose, which makes them even more volatile if pushed to be." Reno scoffed from where he sat. Taking a deep breath, Tseng lowered his head a moment. He exhaled slowly before saying in a calmer tone "We won't be monitoring them anymore." He met the confused expressions of his staff. Cissnei was first to speak.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"It is clear the targets want to be left alone. We will not risk our own safety for theirs any longer," he explained.

Cissnei looked incredulous. "B-but what about the plan? Are we just going to forget about what we were doing this for to begin with? Just continue to let the president and his science team use their positions of power for their own gains at the expense of others?"

"There will be another way," Tseng argued. "I'm going to talk to Zack. Let him know that if he intends to cooperate then he will need to do so very soon."

"Or what?" Rude spoke up, a little nervous about what Tseng's reply would be.

"Or we will no longer be able to help him and Cloud," Tseng answered softly. "The president has growing suspicions that I am not doing what I can to find the targets and have them returned to Hojo. I cannot give him reason to believe that." Sighing again he stood straight and adjusted his jacket a little. "You're dismissed to your regular duties," he said before turning and heading for the door, not giving them a chance to respond or protest.

000

That evening, Zack left the repair shop about an hour after Shell had. There was no reason for him to stay that long after the man had left but he found himself feeling a little unmotivated to move. Cloud wasn't home yet so whether he went upstairs or stayed where he was, he'd be sitting alone. Plaguing his mind was the fact that had been calling every few hours and he hadn't answered. He wasn't really angry with her. He just didn't really feel like he could talk with her right now. He didn't want to have to talk about the past or the present with her. The thought of it exhausted him. Eventually he'd have to talk to her though, he just didn't know how long it would take him and if she'd want to when he'd worked up the nerve.

When he'd finally left the shop and rounded the corner of the building he thought he heard some movement as he began to scale the stairs.

"Zack," a voice called from under him and he glanced down to see Tseng standing below. "I need a word," the Turk claimed.

Rolling his eyes, Zack headed back down the steps to the ground. He rounded the stairs and faced the Turk. "What do you want, Tseng?" he asked tiredly, following after the Turk as he led them around to the back of the building.

"You attacked one of my staff," Tseng said, making Zack scoff and turn around to leave. He wasn't about to be reprimanded for his altercation with Reno, but before he could take two steps Tseng grabbed him and pulled him back, pushing him against the wall of the building. It actually shocked him so much that he didn't react right away. "You do not get to walk away without an explanation," Tseng said sharply and Zack looked back at him angrily. His hands went up then and he shoved the Turk back.

"Don't touch me, Tseng," he shot back at the man. "What happens between Reno and I has nothing to do with you," he added. Tseng actually looked annoyed then. An expression he hadn't really ever seen on the normally calm Turk leader's face.

He stood very close to Zack and in a hushed voice he spoke again. "We have been doing a great service to you and Cloud, and as of yet we have not _demanded_ anything in return."

"And what would that service be?" Zack snapped back.

"Trust me when I say I am the only thing that stands between you and a group of people being paid very well to locate you and Cloud and have you brought back to Nibelheim," the Turk uttered quietly but surely. "Therefore, you may not want to try my patience," he added. Zack studied his expression closely.

"What are you _really_ here to warn me about, Tseng?" he asked confidently.

"Hojo and the president have growing suspicions about the amount of effort I am putting into locating you and Cloud. As I've told you, I wish to have them removed from power but if that will not happen then I must make the choice that will keep me in my current position," Tseng explained emotionlessly.

Zack tried not to express the shock and upset he was really feeling. His eyes narrowed slightly and his brow furrowed as he replied. "So you're going to try and send us back to Nibelheim if we don't help you?" he said with a slightly shaky tone.

Tseng appeared to be pondering his next choice of words. He answered slowly. "Because I feel that what was done to you and Cloud was not right, I can promise you that I will not reveal your location. But a time will come shortly when I can no longer keep the others from finding you."

As Zack looked back at him, he could feel the angry and fearful tears forming in his eyes and he didn't dare blink in case they escaped to his cheeks. Tseng's hard expression softened slightly before he stepped back away from Zack. Without another word, he headed away, disappearing around the corner of the building. Left alone in the dark and the silence, Zack found himself putting his hands to his face and leaning over as he felt suddenly like he was going to be sick. It led to him on his knees in front of the toilet a few minutes later though he seemed unable to throw up. He groaned from the pain in his clenched stomach, sweat beading on his face while he found himself uttering quiet _Oh God_'s.

Faced with Tseng's threat, Zack should have been able to hold it together. He should have been trying to come up with a plan, or preparing to tell Cloud what the Turk had told him. But he didn't do either. Instead, he found himself reaching to remove the lid on the tank of the toilet where he'd taped the bottle of pills Scorch had given him. For some reason he hadn't been able to discard them the other night at the park. He'd tried to, but for some reason his hands wouldn't do what his heart told them too. Scared that Cloud would find them again, he taped the bottle under the tank lid, not really intending to look at them again, and yet, here he was, pulling them free from the porcelain lid. The other night when he'd inadvertently drugged himself, he really felt carefree for the first time in years. He'd felt weightless, like his problems had dissolved and he could think clearly. He really needed to think clearly now. He shouldn't do it. He knew that...but the pills were so small. So insignificant...so beneficial in a time like this. No one would know. When he'd come home from Rayna's the other night, Cloud hadn't known. He wouldn't know...

When Cloud entered the apartment about an hour later he was greeted immediately by Zack, who was standing in the kitchen.

"Hey, Spikey!" he said brightly, smiling from where he was spooning something from a pot into a bowl.

"Hi," Cloud said back as he set down his work gear on the floor by the door.

"You're right on time," his friend declared and he shrugged a little.

"I guess," he agreed, while he was asking in his head _right on time for what?_ He suspected the answer was dinner. Just as he'd leaned down to untie his boots, he heard Zack approach and he looked up to see him holding the bowl out to him. "Uh, thanks," he said slowly. "Can I take my stuff off first?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh, yeah, of course," Zack laughed, withdrawing the bowl but still standing next to Cloud as he took his boots off. He would have gone to the bathroom to wash-up first but Zack was practically shoving the bowl at him again so he took it and decided to head to the couch instead. He looked back once at Zack. Something seemed weird about him. He wasn't normally that energetic after work. Turning his attention to the bowl in his hands, he looked at what seemed to be some sort of stew inside of it, though he really couldn't tell what it was made of.

"What's in this?" he asked aloud, without looking back.

"Oh, you know, a little of everything," Zack replied.

The answer made Cloud raise an eyebrow. He still hadn't touched the contents of the bowl by the time Zack sat down on the couch next to him. Cloud watched him as he ate from his own bowl hungrily.

"Are you alright?" he couldn't help but ask. Zack glanced at him once and smiled.

"Yup," he answered while nodding. "Yes," he added and then looked over. "You?" he inquired.

"I'm fine," Cloud replied.

"That's good," Zack stated before dropping the spoon in his bowl to extend his arm around Cloud's shoulders. "I'm happy you're feeling better," he said warmly. Cloud smiled a little uneasily in return.

"Me too," he agreed. As Zack went back to eating and turned his attention to the T.V., Cloud got up from the couch and walked over to the counter where he set down the bowl Zack had given him. His friend didn't seem to notice he'd gotten up at all so he headed into the bedroom and went for the dresser. He opened the top drawer and reached in, feeling around for any containers that may be in there. Feeling nothing out of place, he looked over all the medication bottles on the top of the dresser. Everything belonged to him. One last place he checked was the dirty laundry. He searched through the pockets in the pants Zack wore but found nothing. Sighing, he stood in the doorway and looked out at his friend as he laughed while watching whatever show was on.

_Maybe he's just really happy for a change_, he thought to himself. A part of him remembered Zack being that kind of person, but not since what they went through at the mansion. Something else he found a little odd was the fact that Zack didn't seem to sleep that night. The following day he seemed back to normal except for the fact he seemed a little more nervous than usual. Over the next week he watched Zack's moods go up and down like a yoyo and observed as he took on certain behaviours that had really only been occasional occurrences before. He was constantly jiggling his one knee, or tapping whatever surface was under his hand at the time, and he began chewing his nails. Further, it didn't seem that Zack had been talking to Aerith. A few times his phone had rang and he'd glanced at it before ignoring the call. After having seen Aerith in person, Cloud couldn't imagine how Zack was able to ignore her. He asked Zack repeatedly if something was bothering him but he repeatedly said no.

The strange thing was Cloud had noticed the day Zack seemed to change was around the same day he realized there were no cars following him around. The only conclusion he could come to was that the Turks weren't keeping them under surveillance anymore, and he didn't know what that meant. Had they finally decided to leave them alone?

In the middle of the second week after Zack took on his weird change, Cloud had told him he was running low on his medication, the one treating his mako poisoning. He still had plenty of the drug treating his hallucinations and they had been working well. He hadn't hallucinated since the day he'd taken the first pill and it was a relief. Still, when he alerted Zack to the fact he was running out of his liquid medication, he'd gotten a response he wasn't expecting.

"How long you think it's gonna be 'till you stop needing that stuff," Zack asked and Cloud looked at him in surprise.

"I...don't know," he said slowly.

"You know how much money's going to waste on it?" his friend questioned. Cloud stared at him not knowing right away what to say.

"I...I can pay for it, Zack. If you tell me where you get it then I can go and—I never meant for you—" he struggled to get out a reply.

Zack shook his head. "No, I'm—" he started to say and hesitated, rubbing his face with his one hand. "I'm sorry, Spike. I sound like an asshole," he admitted. He didn't know why he'd just said what he had. "I'm sorry," he repeated, wrapping his arms around Cloud to hug him. Cloud hugged him back lightly in confusion. "I'll take care of it, don't worry," Zack assured him before letting him go.

"You sure?" Cloud questioned hesitantly. "You don't have to."

"No, it's fine. I'll go up after work," Zack claimed with a smile that Cloud found hard to return.

At work that night on the plate, Cloud wasn't exactly eager to get home. Zack was starting to freak him out a little bit. He had his suspicions about why that was but he was too afraid to ask. Every time he and Zack were together in one room he wanted to ask if he'd been taking something. More specifically, if he'd been taking the pills that he'd found in their room a little while back. But Zack had told him that night that the pills were just some kind of mix-up and that he was going to get rid of them. He had to trust Zack, even if he knew Zack was lying.

"Hey!" a voice called from the ground below, drawing his attention. "Kid!"

Cloud approached the open side of the building. A large gap had been left in the studs to allow for building materials to be lifted up onto the level via crane. There were no guard rails or anything so he didn't step right up to the edge as he looked down. He could see two of his co-workers. "We're heading out," one called up. "It's just you, Pierce, and Bendinger left."

"Alright," Cloud called down to them.

"You gonna be much longer?" the other inquired.

"No, just fifteen minutes," he told them, knowing he'd probably take about a half hour and would leave when security began locking up.

"Okay, see you Monday!" they called.

Cloud waved and proceeded to finish up screwing the last studs. It was turning out to be a hot September and that night was no different. It was sticky with humidity. He reached down to grab his water bottle, twisting the cap off and hesitating a moment before drinking so he could wipe some sweat from his face, glancing back out at the sky where the sun was beginning to disappear below the horizon. Lifting the bottle to his lips, he chugged down the last half of the bottle and put the cap back on before setting it down. He leaned over to grab some more screws, dropping a few. He scoffed to himself in slight annoyance before crouching to collect them.

For five minutes, he was drilling in silence before he suddenly started to feel weak. His head spun a little and he tried to shake it off but the movement made it worse, making him waver. He dropped the screws in his hand again along with the drill as he reached out to steady himself on something. His hand found one of the studs next to him and he held onto it a little less weakly than he wanted.

_What's happening?_ he asked himself as he felt his heart beating hard in his chest and his legs starting to tremble. It entered into his mind that he was relapsing into mako sickness. It was different though. Whatever was happening was happening fast. He thought he heard something. Footsteps. He wasn't sure he wanted someone to see him like this, though he knew he could use some help. He hadn't really noticed his vision had been blurring until one of the workers came into his view. He couldn't really tell who it was.

"What's the matter?" the worker questioned.

"I'm a...uh—" Cloud began to reply by the worker continued.

"Feeling a little dizzy?" he asked. "A little weak?" he added oddly. Cloud didn't know how to respond. He squinted to try and make out who the worker was. "That stuff worked faster than I thought it would," the worker said then. Cloud clued in then. He wasn't relapsing, he'd been drugged. Why, he didn't know. He let go of the stud next to him and moved away from it a few steps as the worker started coming toward him. He didn't understand what was going on. His brain was getting as hazy as his vision and though he gathered some extra strength through adrenaline, he felt ready to sink to the floor. He couldn't run, he wouldn't make it very far. He took a few steps backward as the worker advanced on him slowly. He had something in his hand though Cloud couldn't make out what it was.

"Who are you?" he managed to get out.

"You don't remember?" the worker asked. "That hurts. But I'll do what I can to make you remember," he said, just before he added "You should watch that edge behind you."

Cloud glanced back at the wide open space behind him where the floor dropped off at the edge of the building. As he turned to face forward once again he saw a blurry shape coming toward him. It struck him hard in the chest. He had no time to decide on what it was as the force thrust him toward the edge behind him. He stumbled for only a brief second before the floor disappeared from under his feet and he was falling three stories. He hit the ground on his back and blacked out before he'd registered any amount of pain.


	24. Chapter 20

_Hey everyone! Sorry for leaving you all on a cliffhanger for so long. As I mentioned to a few of you, I was away working in a land without internet so while I was able to write I wasn't able to update. Also, for some reason the site won't let me use the 'reply' links to the reviews you guys are leaving. I get some message about an outdating link or something...which is probably the site's way of saying I've waiting too damn long to respond to your reviews. Anyway, in the case that that happens, as it has, I send PMs back as replies. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. This one is a long one. Not sure if it's longer than last one but definitely close to the same length I think. And I have a warning to issue for this chapter. __**This chapter contains sexual content both of a consensual and non-consensual nature**_**.** _There will by no further warnings within the chapter as to when this content will occur. If you have concerns about reading this chapter and would rather have a summary, let me know and I will send you one. _

_Next order of business: Seelenspiel has finished a fan video for 'Reduced to Specimens' so you should definitely check it out if you're a fan of the fic. You can find it at www. youtube. com/ watch?v=SaHKsNGX_FA&feature=mh_lolz&list=PL70EA6CCDA729F3A5 (without spaces). You will also be able to access it off my YouTube page if you look under the section 'Fan Vids'. Be sure to comment if you have time! _

_That's it for me for now, hope you enjoy the chapter! Songs are below, though if you happen to be online right this second when the update pops up the songs probably won't be on the YouTube playlist yet because I will be running over to add them right now. ^^_

(1) Pretty Life - Jakalope; (2) Cobrastyle (The Bloody Beetroots Remix) - Robyn; (3) Lover I Don't Have to Love - Bright Eyes; (4) Give You My All - Eyes Set to Kill

Chapter XX

When Cloud finally awoke, it was to the feeling of being dragged slowly across a smooth surface by his ankles. There was a strong smell of what he thought might be fried onions lingering in the air. His eyelids were heavy as he tried to open them and he looked up first, not seeing anything but a grey blur. Turning his head to the side then, he thought he could see a television screen. It was on but there was no sound. He started to feel then. His back was sore, especially in one spot near his left shoulder blade. He recalled falling and wondered if he had fallen on anything other than solid ground. Beyond that, his head was pounding and his mouth was dry. The hold on his ankles was released then as he was pulled into another room and the heels of his boots hit the floor with a thud.

"You're awake," a voice spoke. It was the voice belonging to the worker from the construction site. "I didn't expect you to wake again so soon. I'm thinking you're feeling pretty groggy though. I dosed you pretty good," he added. "Welcome to my abode. It's nothing special I know," he went on. "But it's not exactly permanent. Not now that I got you. I'll be gettin' a nice reward that will get me into a place outside the city."

Cloud looked his way, trying to make out what he was doing. His vision was too blurry. All he could see was the man's back as he headed out of the room. He continued talking however.

"Don't know if I want to hand you over just yet though. Been a little lonely here by myself. I been lookin' forward to some company."

Cloud tried to make some sense of his surroundings as he squinted and looked around. He was so tired, the amount of effort it took to move his head and eyes was extreme. The room, from what he could tell was small and empty, except for a mattress. There was what looked to be one boarded-up window. With the door open, he could see several locks on the outside of it. A scary thought struck him then. The room had been prepared for him. To keep him locked up. The man had been planning this.

_My phone_, he thought. He needed to call for help. Impossible. He was all but completely paralyzed by whatever he'd been drugged with. Not even his fingers would move for him. It seemed the most he was going to be able to do is make those small head and eye movements he'd already been pushing himself to accomplish.

The worker must have opened a beer while he was out of the room because he came back with breath that smelled of it. The man got close enough to give him a whiff of it when he reached down to grab onto his upper body and pull him onto the mattress.

"You're a lot heavier than you look, ya know," the man said then. "And bigger than I remember. Must be all the construction work. Then again, these bulky things probably weren't making you any lighter," he reasoned. Cloud was confused until he saw the man lean down and he began to feel his one boot being untied. "Sorry for knocking you off that building, by the way, but I figured given all the enhancement shit you had done you could take it."

_Enhancements?_ Cloud wondered if he was talking about the experimentation done on him in Hojo's lab. Now, more than ever he wanted to know who his abductor was.

"Still, since you been bleeding, I figure I better get a look at the damage," the man commented when he'd removed both of Cloud's boots.

_Bleeding?_ Cloud thought in slight shock. He hadn't felt the blood. He was turned over onto his stomach and the right side of his face was pressed against the mattress. The fabric of it smelt old and musty. He felt the collar of his shirt constrict at his throat as it was pulled down from the back.

"Eh...it's not bad," the worker remarked. "Nothing worth fussing over. I'm not exactly worried about the bed getting dirty," he added with a chuckle.

"Who..." Cloud struggled to get out but it was little use. His vocal cords felt about as paralyzed as the rest of him. He needed to know who this man was.

He was turned back onto his back and the worker's blurry face came a little closer to his own.

"You really don't remember me?" the man questioned in what seemed to be genuine surprise. There was something familiar about the man, Cloud knew that much. If he could just see him more clearly...

"I guess that crazy old professor really did fuck you up good," his captor went on. Cloud didn't bother to turn his fuzzy gaze downward as he felt the hems of his shirts being pushed up slowly on his abdomen. He kept his eyes directed at the blurry spaces on the man's face where he knew his eyes to be. A cold, callused, hand touched his right side then and his flesh broke out in goosebumps. "Do you remember this?" the man asked. Cloud knew immediately what he was referring to. A scar he had there. Actually, he hadn't yet remembered the cause of that scar but some of the haze was clearing suddenly. "Think...hot," the man practically cooed as he stroked that area of his skin gently. At that action, Cloud _did _remember. It was from an iron. A soldering iron. It was like his memory of the event was returning in pieces. He was in the Hanger, suffering through the pain of having been shot just hours earlier. Two men stood in front of him, smiling eerily, sadistically. A third was standing behind him, holding the ends of a gag that had been shoved in his mouth to silence him. They'd come to hurt him, one of them using a nightstick and the other an iron. This was the man who'd held the iron, who'd given him the scar.

Mailer. His name was Mailer. This was one of the men who had tormented and tortured him and Zack, a Shinra guard who had physically battered him and his friend at the Shinra Mansion. But that wasn't all. There was something else...something worse...

"You were just hanging there," the man spoke on. "And I hadn't really thought about it before, but there was something about you...maybe it was that slender body you had, or this soft, blond hair..." he touched some of the strands clinging to Cloud's forehead. "Something..." he whispered but didn't finish his thought vocally. Cloud's heart rate was increasing, his head pounding harder. "Remembering yet?" the man asked. He whispered something. Though it was hard to hear, Cloud could still decipher it. _Little bitch_.

Cloud's eyes widened slightly as the realization came upon him. Mailer was the unseen face in a nightmare he'd had more than once. A nightmare brought on by the memories of a time in the mansion when he'd been humiliated and degraded. It was Mailer who'd led several of the other guards in an attack on him in one of Hojo's demented simulations, taking turns forcing themselves upon him. They'd torn into him savagely and left him powerless, bloody, and drowning in shame and self-pity. The realization had him feeling like his throat was closing in on him.

"Yeah," Mailer said with a smile and a nod. "You remember now," he murmured. "Imagine, all those Turks and guards out there looking for you and I'm the one who finds you first" he said with another chuckle. Cloud felt Mailer's hands patting down his pockets then and his cellphone was found fast. That was all Cloud had on him besides a few bills and some coins, which Mailer took and deposited in his own pocket. He turned his attention on the phone then, flipping it open and looking up the recent numbers. "Well I see you're popular with, well, two people," he remarked. _Zack and Tifa_, Cloud thought. They were the only two people to call his phone. He rarely ever answered Tifa's calls though, which he felt bad about. "And I see only one on here you like to call yourself," Mailer continued. "Could it be Z1?" he asked. Hearing the _Z1 _made Cloud shudder inwardly. "I am so very fucking excited to give him a call later on. Won't he be shocked to find out his little bitch is hanging out with moi?" He flipped the phone shut then and put it into his pocket. "No doubt he'll be racing to the rescue when he finds out, but it'll be a little late then. Suppose he could always go running off to the mansion after you, which is probably what Hojo and his science geeks are hoping for. Saves 'em a lot of trouble."

Zack would do that too, Cloud knew it. It was a thought that comforted and saddened him at the same time. It occurred to him then that Zack might already be looking for him. It would only be a matter of time before Zack would realize something was wrong. He'd go up to the construction site and when he found it shut down would come looking for him. Maybe there would even be clues to follow to lead him back to the place he'd been taken. At least, that's what normal Zack would do. These days, he wasn't sure Zack's actions were so predictable. He'd been drugging himself with something, it was the only explanation for his change in behaviour..._No! _ he thought suddenly. Zack was planning on going to the plate after work to get more of his medications. It could be hours before he realizes something's not right.

As much as he was fighting to stay calm, Cloud felt himself beginning to panic.

000

It had been a long day at work for Zack. He'd spent the second half of it preoccupied with the fact he was craving a high. He had been making a point of not taking anything while at work but it was getting harder to make it those eight hours. He was also running out of the pills Scorch had given him. He found he was building up a tolerance to them fast, needing more to get the same high. He knew that was a bad thing but he didn't care at that point. He didn't even bother to head up to the apartment after he'd locked the shop up. He headed for the plate instead. He knew he would be early. The club didn't open until around nine and Scorch didn't even get there until about ten. Normally he'd just sit around in one of the restaurants or cafés until the time came, but he was beyond restless. He tried to eat but his appetite was nearly non-existent. He'd be hungry later, after downing some more of Scorch's mystery pills. He found himself waiting on a bench at a bus stop down the street from the club for over an hour before it was finally late enough to head over.

It turned out when he got there that he wasn't able to see Scorch anyway. The dealer was in a 'private meeting' and would not be seeing anyone else that evening so Rayna would be handling his other customers. He found himself in a room with her and two of Scorch's guards. For some reason he felt uncomfortable dealing only with her. He couldn't help thinking about how the last time he'd seen her it had been when he'd woken in her apartment with no real recollection of how he'd gotten there.

"More of the usual, I take it?" she said as she slid Cloud's medication across the table between them. "I understand you and Scorch have an arrangement," she added, though he barely heard her. He had gotten somewhat distracted when she'd crossed her legs, drawing attention to the short black miniskirt and tall black boots she was wearing.

"Ye—yes," he stuttered, reaching to take the medications. He put them in his one pocket. After a moment of them looking at one another she spoke.

"Is there something else you want?" she inquired.

He tapped the arm of the chair a little nervously. "Uh, I was wanting more of...more of whatever that stuff was that he gave me," he said almost too quietly for her to hear.

"Sirex?" she asked and he nodded, bringing a smile to her face. She nodded to the one guard and he opened a cabinet against the one wall, taking out an orange bottle and passing it to her. "There you go," she said, sliding it over to Zack. He took them and looked at them thoughtfully.

"Something wrong?" Rayna asked.

"It just...the pills have been seeming different than what I had that first night when I was here," he claimed, remembering he'd felt somewhat mellower that first time.

"You had it in a drink right?" Rayna questioned and he nodded.

"Alcohol's a depressant. It counteracted the stimulating effects of the Sirex," she explained. "You prefer it that way?"

"No, uh both ways are fine. I just…I was hoping there was a way to get a stronger effect."

She smiled. "I see. You've just been taking the pills right?" she asked and he confirmed. "Well, fortunately for you, there's a simple solution."

He eyed her curiously as she spoke. He couldn't explain it but there was something both enticing and frightening about how comfortable she seemed to be with the current subject matter. She made drug use seem like it was the most normal thing in the world. He watched her open her small clutch purse she was holding and pull out an even smaller black case. When she flipped open the lid he was a little surprised to see what it contained, two slender syringes.

"What the hell are those?" he blurted out.

She gazed up at him with a raised brow. "What does it look like?" she asked. "They're prepped and clean, you don't have to worry." He watched as she pulled one of them from the case and motioned it toward him. Without meaning to he drew back from it fast, gaining him some confused looks. "Relax," Rayna said with a light laugh. "I wasn't gonna stick you. I don't inject for other people."

"I don't inject at all," Zack shot back at her.

"You wanted stronger," she pointed out, gesturing with the glimmering plastic tube still in her hand. "This'll give you the strongest reaction."

"No, I don't do needles," he protested.

Smiling, she said "Are you afraid of them?"

"No," he replied harshly. That was mostly true. He'd been injected so many times in the recent past, it seemed silly to be afraid of them. Still, he'd been conditioned to expect pain when needles were involved. Not just the kind of brief sting that came with the insertion of the needle itself. It was the nearly unbearable pain that had been associated with the substances he'd been injected with.

"Coulda fooled me," Rayna scoffed. "Fine, you got one other option," she announced after a short sigh.

"What?" he asked fast, feeling a little relieved.

"Let me introduce you to _Mr. Grit _and _Mr. Straw_," she said as she held up a Ziploc bag of what looked like a coarse white powder in one hand and a straw in the other.

He hadn't thought there could be a worse option than injection but this was it.

"No," he said firmly. No way in hell was he going to snort.

Looking a little frustrated, Rayna sat back against the couch, crossing her legs again. "Well, it's one or the other. Or you could try something other than Sirex."

He didn't want that either. "No, I—How do I know that's actually Sirex in there?" he asked.

"Hmm...guess you'll just have to trust me. Or I could brew you some right here just so you can be sure."

He ran his hands through his hair fast in annoyance. "Just—fuck—give it to me," he ordered.

He left the room with the syringe held partially hidden in his hand and he headed fast for the bathroom. He entered the first empty stall and slammed the door closed, flicking the lock shut. He turned and leaned his back against the door, taking a moment to breathe and think about what he was about to do. His hand held onto the slim syringe and lifted it to eye-level where he could stare at it. It was as if gazing into the horrors of the recent past. Only months ago, he'd been drugged out of his damned senses by Hojo, against his will. What was done to his body had been out of his control for so long. He had the power to choose now, and his choices were beginning to shame him.

"You don't need this," he told himself, and yet he did need it. Some part of him did. It helped him suppress the uncertain and fearful parts of himself, the parts that made him feel weak, and he hated himself for feeling as such. Hitting the wall next to him once with the side of his fist, he groaned in frustration before placing the syringe between his teeth and holding it there as he reached to undo his belt. He sat himself down on the closed lid of the toilet before using the belt to tie off his left arm. Picking a vein was easy enough and he wasn't feeling uneasy over the process of inserting the needle, only the fact he wasn't sure what to expect.

The result was almost instantaneous. There was a moment of pain before a rush of relief went through him. It was like being wrapped up in something warm and safe. He lowered his arm slowly to rest on his one thigh as the syringe slipped from his slackening grip. _God_, he found himself whispering with his eyes closed. He felt a little numb in that moment, like he could pass out right there and be completely content, but when the moment passed, he felt himself coming alive. He opened his eyes and looked ahead at all that seemed sharper and brighter.

000

Cloud strained his muscles for the hundredth time trying to urge them back to life. He knew it was working, just not very quickly. Mailer had been out of the room now for about ten minutes. He'd heard the man whistling and moving around but he couldn't tell what he was doing. When he heard his footsteps nearing the door he laid still.

"You up to no good in here?" Mailer joked as he entered the room with something in his hand. Cloud grew nervous when he was finally close enough for him to see that the man was holding a pair of scissors in his hand, twirling them around his finger by the one handle. Mailer stepped onto the mattress and stood above him, a leg on either side of him and it surprised him when the man lowered himself and actually sat himself down on top of him, basically in his lap. The man's weight pushed him farther into the mattress and he felt the springs digging into his lower back. Immediately, his legs started to tingle as the circulation was restricted.

"You remember that little incident near the ravine back at the mansion?" Mailer questioned as he took hold of a bit of Cloud's shirt and began cutting into it with the scissors. "Ya know, when you and that buddy of yours tried to make a great escape?" he clarified. Cloud wasn't really sure he remembered. He remembered a bit of what Zack had told him regarding that attempted escape. But it wasn't much. Zack had simply told him they'd failed and what had happened as a result, including the injuries and subsequent scarring.

"Well apparently the prof wasn't so impressed we tried to kill one of his precious specimens," Mailer went on. "Somehow he was able to figure out we set the fire on that car. So we all got canned. Unfair, really," he stated as he continued to cut obscure shapes into the material of Cloud's shirt.

Cloud was very aware that his legs had gone to sleep on him and the pressure on his pelvic bones was starting to become painful.

"Probably won't ever get the job back..." Mailer went on. "But I'll get a big fat check for two hundred thousand gil when I hand you over."

Cloud's eyes widened slightly as he heard the number. The price on his head was _two hundred thousand gil_! It seemed ridiculous.

"What do you think?" Mailer asked as he paused in his cutting. "Should I hold out for more?" he asked. "I'd almost rather keep you to tell you the truth," he spoke eerily. "I could dress you up as my own little bitch."

Cloud could feel and see suddenly that the man was becoming aroused over the thought.

"Oh, I think someone wants to say hello," Mailer announced as he set down the scissors in his hand on the mattress. To Cloud's horror, the man began to undo his pants. He wasn't ready for this. The drugs hadn't worn off enough yet. He was still too weak to make his surprise attack. He held his breath in as the man let his erection come free of his pants. He tried not to look at it as he kept his eyes on Mailer's.

"Say 'hello'," Mailer urged. Cloud wasn't sure if the man was talking to him as his attention was turned to his penis. In fact, it was not Cloud he had wanted to greet his organ. He was telling his penis to say 'hello', which was revealed when he spoke for it in a slightly child-like voice.

Cloud didn't know what to think. He might have laughed if it were something he saw on T.V. or had been told about by someone else. There was something frightening about it in the current context. The man seemed a little...'not all there in the head' so to speak. His immediate fears that Mailer intended to have sex with him right at that moment subsided slightly. Instead, he worried with the way the man was handling himself that he was going to start doing something else. More specifically, he was afraid the man was about to masturbate on top of him. The thought was making his stomach sick and his body sweat. Much to Cloud's relief, the man didn't do that either. He started to rise, releasing the pressure of his body from Cloud's and putting his penis back in his pants.

"I think he remembers you," he said then as he stepped off the mattress. "You should be flattered," he added as he headed for the door. "He's picky. Sure don't get like that around just any guy," he explained, disappearing back into the living room. Cloud let out a long exhale in relief. He began trembling with adrenaline and felt his legs aching as the blood was rushing back into them.

"I was never batting for _that _team, if ya know what I mean," Mailer called from the other room. "But hey, I'm always willing to make an exception for a nice piece of ass and I gotta tell you. I've had a lot of little cunts wrapped around my dick and none of 'em was as tight and hot as you."

As Cloud listened, he couldn't help his emotions from seeping out. The experience Mailer spoke of so happily had been an agonizing terror of an experience for him. Even if it had all been simulated. Tears built up fast and began leaking out the corners of his eyes, running into his hair.

Mailer could hear the soft pants of his laboured breathing and came back to the room.

"Oh, no, baby," he said softly before crouching down over Cloud. He used his thumb to wipe away some of the tears from his left temple. "It don't gotta be like that," he added. "You be good, and I'll be good," he uttered with a smile. "Okay?" the man questioned. Cloud stared back at him, unmoving. Mailer reached for his hair once again and pulled his head forward by it, pushing and pulling a few times to imitate a nod. "Good," the man spoke before coming to a stand again. He stared down at Cloud a moment, looking as if he were about to say something but he was interrupted by a phone ringing from somewhere outside the room.

"Shit. I better get that," Mailer said as he headed for the door. He pulled on the knob of the door as he passed through it. The door closed, but not completely, leaving just a small crack between it and the frame. With tears still building and running from his eyes, Cloud took the opportunity to test out his mobility. His limbs were fairly moveable though they still felt like something of a burden attached to him. With some effort, he was able to lift his head and shoulders from the mattress below him. The pain in his back intensified as he did so. He was unsure of what injury he may have sustained back there but was nearly positive it wasn't anything too serious. Nothing would be broken anyway.

His head was swimming in vertigo just from lifting it. He didn't know what he'd been drugged with but it was taking a lot of effort to fight against it. It would be awhile before the effects had worn off completely.

He touched something next to him as he moved his left hand forward on the mattress. He took whatever it was in his hand before letting his shoulders and head fall back on the mattress, panting a little from the exertion he'd put himself through. He lifted his left hand to see what he was now holding onto. He still couldn't see very clearly, and his attempt at sitting up hadn't helped any, but he could still tell that what was in his hand were the scissors Mailer had been using to cut up his shirt. He couldn't believe the idiot had left them behind. Though, clearly the man had no idea he had as much mobility as he did. Passing them to his right hand, he felt for the edge of the mattress and slid the scissors under it. Hopefully Mailer had forgotten about them completely.

He closed his eyes then and waited for the pounding in his head to subside again. He could just barely hear Mailer outside the room, still talking on the phone. He tried not to let himself get too caught up in fear or worry about what was happening. He still had some control, and a bit of a plan on how to get away from wherever he'd been taken. But at the same time, he was terrified and couldn't help but think that when he did try to get away from Mailer, he wasn't going to make it out. Though the man seemed to be a little more interested in having him there at the moment, there was no way of knowing he wasn't about to turn him back over to the professor back at the mansion.

Sounds of thudding above pulled Cloud from his despairing thoughts. It sounded like there was someone running across a floor. Was there a second floor to the place? There was no way to be sure as Cloud hadn't seen any stairs when he'd been dragged in. But he had his doubts that Mailer would bring him to a place that was occupied by other people. He'd already mentioned he was getting lonely without company. An apartment then? After another few minutes, he thought he could hear music. It wasn't long after that the door to the room was opened once again and Mailer re-entered. He looked down at Cloud briefly before turning his gaze upwards.

"Goddamn neighbours. They play that shit every night at around this time," he said in clear annoyance. "It gets louder too. I think one day I might just go up there and blow their heads off. Might shut them up. I gotta go get a few things," the man announced to Cloud's surprise and slight relief. He really wanted the man away from him, if only temporarily. He needed to think, to plan. "You gonna be alright here on your own?" Mailer asked. "Should I give you a top up? I don't wanna overdose you."

A little bit of dread replaced the relief he'd felt at the suggestion he was going to be drugged again. He tried to make himself seem as paralyzed as possible. He let his eyelids fall a little, which was actually a bit of small relief. It was taking a lot of energy to keep them open. He wasn't sure if anything he did influenced Mailer's decision, but nevertheless the man decided not to dose him with more of what he'd been given earlier.

"You be good while I'm gone," Mailer ordered while standing over him. He smirked then before turning and leaving, pulling the door shut behind him. Cloud listened to the sound of the numerous locks being engaged on the opposite side of the door. Each one was like a gunshot ringing out. He waited then, until he'd heard the sound of the door to the apartment closing and locking before he began to move again.

000

When Zack had left the bathroom in the club, his attention was drawn immediately to the feeling of the music. He felt the vibrations through the floor while the sound swirled within his ears. He had wanted a stronger reaction to the drugs and he got one, one he wasn't sure he liked. After twenty minutes, he felt as though he were moving like a freight train. Every movement seemed ten times faster. He was also a hell of a lot warmer than he'd been expecting, and thirstier. He had planned on leaving the club almost immediately after he'd dosed himself but he realized he couldn't just go home. Setting aside the fact he was finding it hard to hold a single thought and even remember something like how to get to the train station, if Cloud was at home he was going to _know _something wasn't right with him, if he didn't already think something was up. He needed something to slow him down a little. _ A drink_, he thought. Rayna had said something about alcohol mixing with the drugs and doing...well...something. As if he'd morphed himself there, he was at the bar in what seemed like milliseconds. It was there that he ran into Rayna again.

"It won't work," he heard her voice before he'd known she was there.

"What?" he said back and she smiled.

"Standing here waiting for the bartender to acknowledge you. How easily you forget," she commented.

"Oh, I did forget," he replied. "SOLDIERs don't get served here," he added, still leaning against the bar counter and tapping his one hand against it anxiously.

"I see you've decided to stop denying the truth," she said while waving to the one bartender. She ordered two drinks from him and passed one over to Zack. He looked at it suspiciously. "Nothing but alcohol in it," she stated and watched as he began to down it fast. "Take it easy there, champ," she suggested jokingly.

"I need another," he claimed while planting the glass down hard on the counter top. He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to get him another but she only shook her head. Moaning with frustration, he placed his hands on the counter and leaned over, lowering his head and taking a deep breath. He pushed away from the counter after a moment and turned his back on Rayna, searching with his eyes for the nearest exit. He was hoping that the moment he stepped outside he would be greeted with a rush of cool night air, but he wasn't. It was a hot night, more humid than it was inside the club. He was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the heat. Without much thought, he pulled his t-shirt off and crumpled it, tossing it someplace in the alley, leaving him in his undershirt. The door nearby opened and Rayna joined him outside.

"You're hot," he heard her say and he couldn't help but smile.

"So are you," he said back, his eyes zeroing in on the glass in her hand. He reached out and snatched it from her.

"Yeah, but I'm sweating a lot less," she pointed out. "I take it things went well in the bathroom."

"A little too much so," he responded after taking a gulp from her drink.

She studied him a moment. "The alcohol's not really gonna help in this case. But I have something you should try," she announced.

He felt suddenly like he may throw up what he'd just gulped down. Pushing the glass back into her hand, he stepped back against the wall and slid down. Crouching, he put his one hand on the pavement and took some slow breaths. "What now?" he questioned, looking up at her. He watched her reach a hand into the top of her shirt and pull out something. She took a step forward and crouched next to him to show him what it was. A small Ziploc bag with some white pills in it.

"What else do you keep in there?" he asked, tilting his chin up as he glanced at the tops of her breasts. He shook his head then. "I don't want anything else," he stated firmly.

"It'll level you out," she explained.

"How?" he inquired.

"It just does," she said sharply. "You wanna know the fucking mechanics of it?"

He looked at her straight. "I can't do this," he said softly, feeling scared suddenly. _What the fuck am I doing?_ he asked himself.

"You don't have to be afraid," she said just above a whisper, as if she'd read his mind. "You don't have to do anything you don't want. I'm only trying to help you."

He looked at her eyes; so dark, and yet warm. She was seductive without trying to be. Anything she said he wanted to believe. He shifted his gaze to the bag she was holding.

"What's it do?" he asked quietly.

"It calms you," she replied. "Makes you feel good," she added, her free hand coming to rest on his one knee.

Looking at her hand, he spoke. "How good?" Slowly, her hand began to move up his thigh. Under the influence of the liquid Sirex, the sensation of it was more intense. He felt a tingling sensation all over from it.

"Really...really...good," she whispered, her hand sliding to the inside of his thigh, close to his groin. The action had his body reacting fast and he had to put his own hand on hers to slow it down.

He looked up at her face again and she smiled. "You first," he ordered. He didn't really expect her to actually take one of the pills, but she did and after showing him that she had in fact swallowed it, she reached into the baggy and pulled out another one, holding it out to him. He stared at it, afraid to take it, though he did try eventually. She pulled back and ordered him to open his mouth. He complied without much hesitation and felt the pill touch his tongue when she placed it there. It began to dissolve quickly, striking him with a bitter taste and he swallowed in response, sending the rest of the pill down to his stomach. Rayna smiled again, sliding the bag with the remaining pills back into her top and then reaching forward, she smoothed some of his hair away from his forehead with her hand. She looked about to say something when the door nearby opened. She stood fast, turning to see who it was. Zack rose slowly next to her with the aid of the wall at his back. He could see then that it was one of Scorch's guards. He glanced Zack's way before looking at Rayna.

"He's leaving," was all the guard said and gave Rayna an expectant look.

"Thanks," she replied and stepped toward the door. The guard disappeared back inside as she held the door open and motioned to head back inside. She paused though and looked back at Zack. "Don't go far. I won't be long," she said and, winking once, she slid a block of wood into the doorway, stepped in the building and let the door close behind her. It caught on the wood, leaving it open just slightly for him so he could get back in.

He didn't go back in right away though. He waited a few minutes, trying to get his senses straight. He heard voices then and moved down the side of the building toward the back. Peering around the corner, he could see Scorch, Rayna, and a few of the guards standing near a black car. Scorch and Rayna were talking. He was leaning in close to her and she was nodding slowly. While still leaning in, Rayna took hold of the collar on his jacket and tilted her head up to kiss him. Zack felt something strange as he watched. It couldn't be. Was he...jealous?

Stepping back into the alley, he rested a few minutes more against the one wall before turning around and heading in the opposite direction. He passed by the door in the side of the building, leading back into the club, but he didn't go back in. He began to head towards the far end of the building, where the street was. Before he'd made it there a voice called to him. Glancing back he could see Rayna coming after him.

"Where you going, SOLDIER?" she asked when she'd caught up to him.

"Somewhere else," he said back, trying not to look at her.

"Where else?"

"I dunno. Home," he declared.

"Home?" she echoed. "It's still pretty early. There's a place I'd like to go. Away from watchful eyes, if you know what I mean." He guessed she meant away from Scorch's club where his men could see what she was doing.

"Have fun," he said, about to walk away from her. A hand seized his own.

"Come with me," she spoke, her eyes pleading playfully.

It wasn't a good idea. It was a terrible idea, the worst. He shouldn't be around her anymore than he needed to be. He should be with Aerith. _Yeah, that'd be great, showing up at Aerith's high out of my mind,_ he thought. _Sure she wouldn't notice_. He was still arguing with himself as he began walking again, but his body had already made the decision to go with Rayna to wherever she was taking them. She took him to another club. He didn't remember being in line at all. The whole entering-the-place scenario seemed lost somewhere in his head. He never hung out at clubs in the past, before dealing with Scorch, and he certainly had never been one for dancing. He'd only ever done it a few times with girls in his hometown at school dances or with Aerith at the Shinra special functions. Though he was on the dance floor with Rayna, he doubted what he was doing would be considered dancing. Standing there while she danced around him was closer to the truth. He knew they were in almost constant contact and he knew that whatever Rayna had given him was starting to drive him crazy with needs he hadn't felt in awhile. And she wasn't making it easy for him to control himself, especially when she ushered them somewhere shadowed and seemingly hidden away from the rest of the club. His best guess was that it was under a set of stairs that led up to the second floor. It was there that he'd lost what little control he'd had left.

000

Barely a moment after he was left alone, Cloud felt himself about to lose control of his emotions again. _I can't believe this is happening_, he thought. It really was a twist of horrible fate that of all the people who were out to capture him, Mailer would be the one to do it. He could easily have let the panic take over. The fact that he couldn't make his body do what he was telling it was only bringing him closer to the verge of a quick breakdown. He forced himself to stay calm, however, taking some slow breaths and turning his head toward the door. He tried to keep his eyes on it as he began once again to lift his head and shoulders off the mattress, straining the muscles in his abdomen as he urged himself to sit up. It wasn't going to happen so he did what he could before he found himself flopping back down and turned his body over and off the mattress.

He panted against the wood floor, waiting until he felt capable of expending another burst of energy before he began to writhe his way across the floor to the door. It was only a few feet away and yet it felt like miles. He could barely extend his arms to make use of them. All he could really do is use his hands to inch his way there. It took close to ten minutes to do so.

Once he'd made it to the door, he wasn't entirely sure why he'd bothered to get himself over there. There was no way he was going to be able to lift himself up anywhere near the doorknob, let alone be able to get through all the locks. He didn't want the trip to be a wasted one, so he took the opportunity to try and see under the door. The gap was just wide enough to allow him to make out some of the living room he'd been dragged through when he'd first got there. Still, he didn't feel any better off than before he'd left the mattress and now he was more tired than he started out.

Just then, his ears picked up the sound of a key in a lock and suddenly his stomach was plummeting as he saw a door open and a pair of legs entering the living area. Mailer was back, much sooner than he'd expected and now he wasn't where he'd been left. If the man entered the room right now he would know he wasn't as drug-affected as he'd thought. He needed to get back to the mattress and he wasn't going to be able to take ten minutes to do it either. Before he could make one move in retreat he felt the vibrations of Mailer's footsteps through the floor and he looked under the door to see him approaching the room.

"No," he whispered in dread, his heart beating frantically in his chest as he waited to be discovered. He watched Mailer's shoes coming toward the door and he waited to see them stop, to hear the locks in the door being disengaged…

It didn't happen. Just before reaching the door, Mailer turned and headed off to the right. As Cloud listened he thought he could hear some plastic bags rustling, like something was being put away. He still had time to get back to the mattress.

He didn't think he'd ever tried so hard in his life to do something, though he probably had. By the time he'd made it onto the mattress and gotten himself lying in roughly the same position he figured he'd been in before he was damp with sweat and breathing hard. He was forced to cease his panting when finally he heard the sounds of the door being unlocked. It was almost painful and he felt lightheaded suddenly. The door to the room swung open then and Mailer stood in the doorway, an expression that suggested he was a little surprised to see him lying where he'd left him. He approached the mattress and Cloud avoided his eyes, afraid his own would give him away.

"Hey there, buddy," Mailer said while crouching. "Miss me?" he asked. The fact Mailer had called him _buddy_ angered him more than he would have thought possible. Only Zack called him that. The anger must have showed in his face somehow because Mailer chuckled lightly and commented "Guess you're pretty pissed right now." Cloud shifted his eyes to look at him and he smiled. "You know, I don't doubt you could really kick my ass right now if you weren't…well…incapacitated. Even though you are a little bitch, you seem to have the ability to deal out some serious shit. But fortunately for me I know how to keep you under control."

The man reached a hand down toward his face and Cloud could feel his index finger touch his forehead near his hairline. Slowly, the finger ran in a line down the centre of his face, down his nose and over his lips to stop at his chin. Mailer pulled his hand back and rubbed his index finger together with his thumb.

"You sure are sweating a lot," he remarked. "Is it too hot in here? Or are you just nervous?" He smiled. "Nothing to be nervous about. Yet. Maybe when find yourself back with that old professor. I should think I look like pretty good company next to him." Cloud would beg to differ. He did hate Hojo, and he was terrified of him, but it was different where Mailer was concerned. The man had terrorized him on another level.

Mailer left the room, saying he was going to make himself some dinner. He was gone an hour, giving Cloud the chance to gain back his strength, and then some, but when he returned, he wasn't empty-handed, and Cloud was pummelled suddenly with the realization he was going to have to make a fast move to save himself. The man had returned with a syringe.

"It's time to go night night," he announced. "Can't have you awake and plotting escape while I'm trying to get some shut-eye."

This was it. This was the time. If he waited any longer then it may be too late. He couldn't let the man sedate him to the point of knocking him unconscious. He wouldn't know when or where he'd wake up. He watched as Mailer prepped the syringe. His heart was beating hard with anticipation. His fingers were twitching as he got himself ready to reach for the scissors under the mattress. With the syringe filled, Mailer pocketed the container with the remaining liquid and knelt down on the mattress. Just as he was reaching forward to take hold of Cloud's left arm, Cloud reached for the scissors, grasping them fast and sitting up all in one motion. He could tell Mailer was shocked to see him with such mobility. He didn't give the man a chance to try and subdue him before raising the scissors upward fast, and trusting them into the left side of the man's chest. Cloud had been aiming for his heart but his vision still wasn't one hundred percent and Mailer had turned slightly. The scissors, instead, imbedded in his pectoral and he let out a loud cry as blood seeped from the wound fast and ran down the blades to Cloud's hand. When it reached the handles, the scissors slipped from his grasp as Mailer fell backwards. Cloud took the opportunity to turn over and pulled himself off the mattress, struggling to get away as fast as possible. He was a little surprised at his own sudden abilities to move, but then his adrenaline and fear were also fueling him. Mailer hadn't been nearly as injured as he had hoped. One of the man's hands caught his leg and started to pull him back. He managed to pull out of his grip but before he could crawl forward another inch, he felt Mailer take hold of him again, his hand latching onto his belt and the waistband of his pants. He groaned in protest as he was dragged backwards again, clawing at the floor for something to stop himself, though he could see there was nothing.

"HELP ME!" he yelled out as long and loud as he could, though he doubted anyone was going to hear him. Certainly no one from upstairs would, given the music playing. "Nuh-no-oh!" he cried out as he was dragged back onto the mattress, that one word breaking up on his lips as he started to feel the panic take over. Mailer's hand moved from his belt to the back of his shirt in one quick motion. His fingers held the material tightly in a fist as he pulled, the force lifting Cloud's upper body off the mattress slightly.

"That wasn't very FUCKING NICE!" Mailer screamed at him from above, the blood from his wound soaking part of his shirt, some of it falling onto Cloud with gravity. He let go of Cloud's shirt only to take a hold of his hair. He was so angry he had to try hard not to pull his head back too hard and injure his neck.

It still hurt though as Cloud let out a short cry and closed his eyes against the sting. He tried to ease the pain by resting his forearm on the mattress below him, lifting himself up a little with the help of his elbow. Mailer jerked his head back a little farther in response and he found himself taking hold of Mailer's wrist with his other hand, though it did little good. He felt something pressing against his neck and was pretty sure without looking that it was the pair of scissors.

"How 'bout I cut _you_ up a little bit, huh?" Mailer shouted at him as Cloud held back the urge to start sobbing. He couldn't help himself from uttering a pathetic whispered '_Please_.'

"_Please_?" Mailer repeated his one word in a harsh, questioning tone. He pulled the scissors away from Cloud's neck and held them a moment as he pushed his shirt up on his back slightly. He pressed the closed tips of the bloodied scissors to the pale skin of his lower back. "You gonna beg me not to hurt you now?" he asked mockingly.

Cloud didn't utter a sound until he felt the scissors press down into his flesh agonizingly slow but still forceful. He groaned then and Mailer pulled on his hair a little harder while digging the scissors a little deeper. Cloud wasn't sure if the scissors were breaking skin or not, but the pain was still hot and sharp and seemingly never-ending the way the man was steadily adding pressure.

"Uh-ah!" he cried out when Mailer released his hair suddenly and took hold of his neck instead, his hand closing around the front of it. His own hand fell to the mattress under him while the man began twisting the scissors and pressing them just that little bit deeper. It was then that Cloud felt the tickle of something running across his skin. "P-please," he choked out, imagining the feeling had to be coming from his own blood.

"Please what?" Mailer questioned. "You want me to stop?" he asked when Cloud didn't immediately respond.

"Ye—" Cloud began to speak but paused as he felt the pain increase. Though he couldn't see what was happening, he could feel it as Mailer began to open the blades of the scissors, widening the puncture in his flesh and pulling a soft sob from Cloud's lips.

"I can't hear you," Mailer said with a smirk, watching the blood that was beginning to form a little pool in the small of Cloud's back.

"Yes," Cloud finished as his tears were starting to drop from his lashes onto the mattress. He panted as he tried to keep from breaking down completely.

There was a long, terrifying moment when Cloud assumed Mailer wasn't going to stop. He made no indication that he would. But suddenly, he was releasing his hold on Cloud's neck. Cloud dropped back onto the mattress, away from the scissors that had been pressed into his back. His tears clouded his eyes a little as he raised his right arm slightly to look towards the side of his abdomen. He gripped his shirt lightly with his left hand as he pulled it up slightly seeing definite blood was travelling over his side on its way to the mattress.

He looked away, resting his left cheek against the mattress a moment and closing his eyes as he took a few deep breaths. He was startled when he felt the mattress depress on either side of him, close to his shoulders. He opened his eyes to see one of Mailer's hands flat against the mattress. A moment later he could see out of the corner of his one eye Mailer's form above him. He closed his eyes again when he felt the man's cheek come to rest against his head next to his right ear.

Shortly after, Mailer lowered himself over Cloud, his chest pressing against Cloud's back lightly as he slid his knees back on the mattress. He lay himself down, next to Cloud, though his upper body was still on top of his.

Cloud lay still, only daring to open his eyes once again. He didn't know what to feel besides fear as Mailer lay against him. He could feel the man's breath against his face and in his ear. Mailer's right hand moved then. Cloud felt it touch his side briefly before it slid under his stomach. It didn't stop there as his hand started to migrate upwards, running up across his chest to emerge next to the left side of his neck where the hand took hold of his shoulder. Mailer's left hand moved next, this time sliding across his bare stomach where it stopped at his opposite side.

Cloud was terrified by the possessive hold. He didn't know what to do besides what he was already doing, lying still. He was arguing with himself in his head about what his next move should be. He was sure that if he didn't attempt again immediately to get away then he'd never have the chance again. At the same time, Mailer had already shown he wasn't weak and that he could easily inflict his own pain. His thoughts were interrupted by Mailer's voice as he spoke near his ear.

"I told you to be good," he whispered, the heat of his breath sending a shiver through Cloud's body. "That was the deal, remember," the man continued. "You be good and I'll be good." Cloud just listened, though he was distracted immediately when he felt Mailer's right leg slide over his own left and place itself in between it and his right leg. Mailer's body pressed closer to his. He found himself biting back his emotions and tears again as the man muttered "You broke the deal," into his ear at the same time he felt Mailer's pelvis begin to move against his left hip. Mailer squeezed him a little tighter as he moved his nose into his hair and took a deep breath. Mailer's one hand stayed on his shoulder while Cloud felt the other slide down to the buckle on his belt.

"No!" he said fast, attempting to raise his upper body from the mattress. Mailer's body held him down as his hand worked at sliding the leather of his belt through the buckle. "No!" Cloud repeated in panic as he reached his own hand down to stop Mailer's. The man let go of the buckle only to grab Cloud's hand in his own. His right hand released Cloud's shoulder to take up position where his left had just been. "No! Stop!" Cloud cried out as Mailer was losing patience with his belt. Cloud's left hand reached down to stop him just as he was starting to make real progress.

He pulled his hand away from Cloud's and rose himself up on his hands as he looked back for the scissors. As he took them in his hand, Cloud caught on to what he was about to do and attempted to turn and reach out to stop him but Mailer drove his left elbow into his back, pushing him back onto the mattress before pressing his forearm against his upper back. "STOP!" Cloud cried out again as Mailer slid the one scissor under the leather of his belt and began cutting. "Get away from me! Get the fuck away from me!" Cloud began to shout over and over.

Mailer smiled when the leather was cut through. He attempted briefly to pull the cut belt from the loops of Cloud's pants from under him but Cloud's hands were on his immediately, preventing him from doing so. He lost patience then, grabbing onto Cloud and turning him over onto his back. He reached for the belt buckle again and Cloud reached for his hand. "Fuck off! Leave me alone!" Cloud yelled as he struggled to keep from losing that leather that seemed to be his only protection. He lost it suddenly when Mailer got a good hold on it and in one swift motion pulled the belt from his pants. Just as fast, Mailer's hands were seeking to undo his pants. He knew it wasn't going to take much. One button and a zipper.

Cloud threw his arms out, trying any way he could to get the man away from him, pushing, throwing his fists into him. Finally, he placed his hand on the man's chest and dug his thumb into the wound he'd caused with the scissors. Mailer cried out and reached for Cloud's hand. Cloud refused to let go as the man's hand closed over his and attempted to wrench it away. When he couldn't do so, Mailer grabbed hold of the belt he'd just taken from Cloud and held it folded into a loop as he began to strike Cloud below him.

Cloud let go of Mailer fairly quickly out of instinct to protect himself. He held his arms over his face, crying out every time the buckle of the belt managed to hit him. Mailer stopped short of a dozen hits, tossing the belt down and returning to the task of undoing Cloud's pants. Though in pain, Cloud didn't hesitate from resuming his struggle. "Leave me alone! Don't do this!" he begged through his angry, frustrated, and fearful tears. "PLEASE!"

If he could just have his strength back, he knew he'd have a better chance at fighting Mailer off. A panicked sob left him with his frantic pleas as the man was finally able to get his pants undone but he didn't stop fighting. As he threw his arm out to hit him for what seemed like the billionth time, Mailer caught it and held on. The man's knee was between his two legs and slid upwards to his groin fast, making him halt his movements. He tried again to persuade the man not to go any further.

"Please," he said in a quivering voice as tears were running down both sides of his face into his hair. "Please d-don't do this!" he cried softly.

The man smiled, placing a hand on Cloud's cheek. Without saying anything he let go of Cloud's one arm and slid himself back off the mattress, before coming to a stand. Cloud watched him in slight confusion as he walked away a few steps. Slowly relief began to set in to Cloud as he sat up and did his pants back up but the relief was short-lived. Mailer was going for that prepped syringe that had fallen from his hand minutes before. It had rolled over to the wall.

"I think you should just let me give you this like a good little bitch," the man said as he turned back to face him and smiled. "Then you can have yourself a nice nap while I have a good time," he added while advancing. He knelt down when he reached the end of the mattress but before he could lean in with the syringe, Cloud drew his one leg back and kicked at Mailer, trying to hit his hand but missing and getting him in the upper arm instead. The force knocked Mailer back off the mattress but didn't deter him long. Propped on his elbows, Cloud moved himself back from Mailer. He pulled himself over the mattress and onto the floor, trying to put distance between them, but the man was on him fast. One of his large hands grabbed hold of his head by his hair and jerked him back, where he found himself hitting the mattress once more. The man's right knee came down hard on his neck, cutting off his airway partly, and though he tried, he wasn't able to wiggle out from under him. Mailer used his other knee to pin down one of his arms. A wave of panic went through him while he trying to breathe and pull himself free. With little hesitation, Mailer jabbed the needle of the syringe into Cloud's arm hard and he let out a short cry. He had to do something fast. His other arm was still free so he drove the heel of his palm up into Mailer's face, hitting his nose. It wasn't as hard a strike as he was hoping for, but it jarred the man and had his knee slipping from his neck.

Mailer had managed to inject him, but only with part of what was in the syringe as Cloud managed to jerk his arm away while he was mid-squeeze on the pump. With Mailer now briefly preoccupied with his throbbing nose, Cloud pulled himself off the mattress for the third time, scrambling to get to his feet only to fall back to his knees for a brief moment. He was still weak but his fear was still driving him forward. It was probably his last chance to get away from Mailer. He knew the man was coming right after him. It only took him a second to stand and lunge after him. He caught up to him quickly just outside the room and reached for him, circling an arm around his neck and aiming to drag him back. Cloud stumbled back a few steps as he was in Mailer's grasp but he pulled against him hard, his hands grabbing for the man's wrist. Mailer's hold was tight. After a failed attempt at breaking free of his clutches, Cloud pivoted and pushed himself backwards into Mailer. The backs of Mailer's knees hit the coffee table in the living room and he lost his balance, falling backward and onto the table, pulling Cloud down with him. The table collapsed under their weight, sending them to the floor instead where Mailer's hold slackened around Cloud's neck.

Cloud tried yet again to turn over and scurry away. It was messy and awkward. Mailer kept grabbing onto him, keeping him from getting to his feet. It was something of a wrestling match for a few moments before Cloud was able to throw a few hits into the man's face, one of which started his nose bleeding. The punches didn't come without payback. Mailer's fist drove first into the left side of his face before delving hard into his stomach, one of the few places on him that was still vulnerable to serious injury. Hojo's experimentation had somehow given him and Zack stronger than normal skeletal structures and injuries on them healed quicker but their soft tissue and organs were just as tender as always. He cried out in response to the punch, immediately curling into himself and clutching his stomach. Mailer took the opportunity to stand as Cloud lay on his side. He waited until Cloud had started to raise himself onto his hands and knees before sending another well-aimed hit into his stomach, this time with his boot. Another short cry fell from Cloud's lips, making Mailer smile. He kicked him again, watching with satisfaction as the force sent Cloud back onto his side. Again, Cloud pulled himself to his hands and knees and with his boot Mailer pushed him back to the ground. Cloud wasn't giving up and it amused Mailer to see him struggle again and again to raise himself up and move away inch by inch, while each time he forced Cloud back to the floor.

"Sure aren't a quitter, are you?" he remarked before sending one particularly hard stomp down into Cloud's lower back, pulling another sharp sound of pain from him as he was sent back to his stomach on the floor. Mailer watched him as he lay still then, breathing hard against the wood below him. He chuckled as he slid his boot under Cloud and rolled him onto his back. He'd expected to see a pathetic look on Cloud's face, but instead there was something angrier. Quickly, Cloud drew his leg back and kicked hard into Mailer's left knee. Mailer yelled out, dropping to the floor and gripping his injured leg. In a flash of anger, he grabbed for a glass ashtray that had been on the coffee table and which was now on the floor within his reach, and slammed the side of Cloud's face and head with it in one fast strike.

That one hit really stunned Cloud. He didn't feel any pain at first. All he felt was his head whipping to the side and suddenly his vision was blurring and his ears ringing. He had heard the glass hitting bone but now he heard nothing. His thoughts were knocked out of him, as his consciousness had almost been. But after a moment, his awareness started to come back to him, along with the pain.

Mailer pulled himself toward the couch. He sat himself down a moment as he rubbed his leg. He watched Cloud as he turned himself over slowly, groaning softly as he tentatively touched the side of his face. There was a line of blood running down from close to his hairline. The fact that Cloud was still moving and that he actually looked to be trying to get up angered Mailer.

Cloud had gotten himself back onto his hands and knees. He watched the floor for a second as blood was dribbling from his face and hitting the wood in tiny splatters. He looked up at Mailer's desk which was right in front of him. Reaching up, he grabbed onto the desktop and started to pull himself to his feet. He strained the muscles in his arms and legs trying to do so. The small amount of drugs he'd been injected with must have been starting to take effect. He needed to get out of there.

He'd just barely gotten himself standing when Mailer grabbed onto him once more, taking hold of the back of his shirt and pulling him back slightly before slamming him forward against the desk. His body buckled forward and his chest fell against the desktop. One of Mailer's hands pressed his head down against the hard surface and held him there as he panted.

"Enough," he heard the man speak above him. There was silence then for a brief moment before Mailer spoke again. "I think I'm having a little déjà vu here, little bitch," he said with a smile. "You, bent over a table all helpless and bleeding," he continued as he leaned down closer to Cloud's ear. "About to get fucked…up," the man concluded, rocking himself forward a little into Cloud's body.

"Don't," Cloud said through clenched teeth as he tried to stand straight. Mailer's hand held his head firmly against the table.

"You gonna start begging again, little bitch?" Mailer responded mockingly. "Do it, it's really a turn-on," he added. Cloud felt Mailer's one hand slide under his stomach and stop at the front of his waist. The man was able to undo his pants again but as he began to tug at the material, Cloud kicked his one foot back, managing to hit Mailer in the shin pretty hard. The man took a slight step back and his hand left the back of Cloud's head. Cloud took that moment to push himself back to a stand, pivoting to face Mailer just as the man's one hand landed directly over his face and began bearing down, pushing him back and downward. Cloud grasped his hand with one of his own, trying to tear it from his face while his other took hold of Mailer's other wrist as the man had his other hand on his chest and was trying to force him down.

Though Cloud fought against it, Mailer was pushing him so hard the heavy oak desk was moving, scraping slowly across the floor. The power struggle was draining Cloud fast so he freed up one of his hands to drive a fist into Mailer's chest, hoping it would help him out. Though Mailer grunted painfully, he kept his hold on Cloud. He did remove his one hand from the front of Cloud's torso, however, and reached for a bunch of pencils and pens in a cup on the desktop. Grasping them in his hand, he reached behind Cloud and drove them up into his lower back. Several of the tips on the utensils that had been facing up in the cup had connected with Cloud's body sharply, despite the fact he was covered by two layers of shirt material. He cried out in surprise and arched his back away from the sudden pain. That's all Mailer needed in order to throw him off balance and get him back down on the desk.

Before Cloud could do anything to retaliate, Mailer released his hand from his face in order to take hold of both sides of his head, gripping his hair tightly as he pulled Cloud's head upward before slamming it back on the desktop once, and then again. Cloud's mind fogged over in an instant and the only thing he registered was the sound of his skull hitting the wooden surface below for a third time. He ceased all movement then, feeling suddenly like he had no control over his body, he felt himself slipping on the edge of the desk. Mailer stopped him, grabbing his torso and pushing him up onto the desktop, his legs hanging over the edge at the knees. His vision had glossed over as he looked up at the man above him. He could barely make out his facial features and he could barely feel his pants being worked off his waist and legs.

Mailer took hold of his legs then, grasping them at the knees and pulling him closer to the edge of the desk once again. Cloud made no attempt to resist. He felt as though he was falling down into someplace deep and dark. It felt like he was suddenly in a dream, with everything seemingly muted but while he wasn't feeling much in the moment, a part of his mind was still aware of what was going on. Mailer stood in front of him, positioned between his two legs, hanging limply from the desk and where the man was still holding the backs of his knees. He only vaguely recognized the sensations and sounds in those following minutes. Mailer's one hand still gripping his right knee while the other began to touch him, rubbing him through the material of his boxers. His voice seeming like a far away hum as he said something about him needing _this_ as much as he did. He felt his eyelids becoming heavy then and he fought against the feeling, his eyes rolling as he tried to get his senses straight. He let out a groan of protest then as he lifted his head off the desk and swatted the man's hand away from him. He tried to kick at Mailer, which only seemed to annoy him. It wasn't long before he'd grabbed hold of Cloud's shoulders and turned him over.

He was back on his stomach then, with his right cheek pressed tightly to the desk. Tears began filling his eyes and an overwhelming feeling of sickness was filling his stomach as he ran his hands slowly over whatever he could touch on the surface of the desk, looking for _anything _he could possibly defend himself with. _This can't happen again_ he cried inside his own mind while he shut his eyes tightly in response to the feeling of Mailer pressing his body to his. His fingers brushed over something under some loose papers and he grasped onto whatever it was. It felt like a pen or something of similar shape. Whatever it was he intended to try and use it, but as he put the palm of his free hand against the desktop and attempted to push himself up a little, Mailer just pushed him back down. He kept a hold on the back of Cloud's head, which was throbbing now from being beaten against the wood of the desk a few moments earlier. His other hand was busy removing his own belt. He dropped it to the floor and a shiver went up Cloud's back when he felt Mailer's hand slide against the outside of his hip, pushing his boxers down slightly. He wiggled back against Mailer, trying to slide himself back off the desk.

"Stop it," Mailer demanded but Cloud ignored him, continuing his small struggle. In response, Mailer grabbed his legs and pulled him from the desk back onto the floor, where he fell onto his chest and dropped the item he'd been holding in his hand. It rolled a few inches away under the desk. It didn't seem that Mailer had noticed it. He was too busy trying to get control of Cloud.

Cloud felt the man trying again to pull the last article of clothing he had on his lower half from him and he reached back fast to grab onto the band of his boxers, thwarting Mailer's efforts momentarily until the man took hold of his wrist and pried his fingers off the material. Cloud felt his arm being bent then at the elbow, and twisted forcefully behind his back. A quick burst of pain shot through his arm and his joints making him cry out. He slammed the palm of his free hand against the floor a few times as Mailer added more pressure to his stressed limb and the pain intensified, pulling loud, desperate groans from his mouth.

"Stop moving," Mailer ordered from above him. "Stop!" he repeated after a few seconds. Cloud hadn't really realized he'd been moving, his knees and pads of his toes pressing against the floor in an involuntary attempt to crawl away. He did as Mailer ordered and stopped his frantic movements, breathing hard and waiting for Mailer to release his arm, which he didn't do right away. He took the opportunity to finally get Cloud's boxer shorts pushed down, then he released his arm to reach his discarded belt. Cloud didn't even really notice when the belt was slipped over his head. He was too concerned with his boxers. When he reached a hand back to try and recover himself he felt a sudden constriction at his neck as Mailer tugged the end of the belt through its metal loop, tightening it around his neck fast and cutting off most of his airway. The need to breathe overtook the need to hold onto his clothing and Cloud reached instead for his neck, feeling the thick strap that was pressing against him as he choked against the new pressure. In an instant he could hear nothing but his pulse and feel nothing but that belt pressing against him, and though he dug his fingers into his neck trying to pull the belt away from himself, he couldn't get a good breath.

Finally, Mailer released the end of the belt slightly, allowing Cloud to breathe freely once again. He coughed roughly as the air flowed back into his lungs fast. He heard Mailer shushing him close to his one ear.

"Shhh...relax, little bitch," he whispered. Cloud disregarded his instruction and reached for the belt but Mailer was fast to tighten it, not allowing him the chance to get a grip on it. He pulled harder this time, cutting off Cloud's airway completely. "Relax, relax..." the man continued to speak in a low tone near his ear. He used his other hand to undo his own pants while Cloud was weakly struggling under him, trying to suck in air desperately and unsuccessfully. Cloud was panicking and he didn't know what else to do so he dropped his one hand back to the floor and reached forward under the desk, trying to feel around for what he'd pulled down with himself from the desk top. His vision was beginning to spot over as he was deprived of oxygen. It was getting hard to focus and keep his eyes open. He thought he was going to pass out before he'd reached what he was looking for. Then, he felt it, the item he'd had in his hand before. He clutched onto it but his hold was weak. He felt his body begin to disappear as he started heading for unconsciousness.

Just then, Mailer loosened the belt and air began rushing into his chest once again. He heaved in a few breaths and began coughing once more. He could feel Mailer's other hand brushing against his body a little as the man was freeing his erection from his own pants. When he felt the man's member bump the back of his thigh lightly he began a quick burst of panicked movement, clawing at the floor ahead of him and trying to pull away. "No! No!" he cried out several times while twisting his body in any way he could. Mailer responded by lying down on top of him, crushing his body with his own.

"Shhhh...stop," Mailer spoke into his ear again. "Stop fighting it, shhhhhh." Cloud paused his movements out of exhaustion and cried instead. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he _could _do. He was trying so hard to combat the weakening effects of the drugs he'd been given but it wasn't helping him much. He felt like dead weight, and he was so tired, a part of him really did just want to give in and lay still while Mailer took what he wanted from him. His mind, just as weary as his body, seemed to like the idea, his muscles softening slightly as his body began to go limp. "That's it," Mailer whispered, letting go of the end of the belt and running his hand through Cloud's hair as he was breathing hard and unevenly. Cloud barely registered the sound of the man spitting into that same hand a moment later, but the thought of why he'd done it made him feel a lot sicker.

Mailer reached down then to grasp his erection and moisten it with his prepared hand. Not a moment later he was guiding it towards his mark. At the feeling of the man's member pressing against his entrance, Cloud's lower body tensed up in an instant. "No no," Mailer spoke up again. "Stay relaxed for me, baby. Otherwise it's going to be a hell of a lot more painful than it needs to be," he added. Cloud couldn't make himself relax his glutes. In fact, he found himself contracting them harder in response to Mailer trying to push into him. The man pushed forward slowly but was barely able to make the smallest amount of penetration. Cloud yelled out, not so much from pain, as from fear and mental anguish. "Come on," Mailer cooed in his ear. "Let me in," he urged. "Let me in or I'll force my way in," he warned, pushing his hips forward with a bit of a quick thrust to make his point. Cloud let out a startled cry. That time he'd felt a spark of pain.

"Just _stop_," he pleaded in a small voice. "Please, just leave me alone."

Mailer let out a frustrated groan before yelling into his ear "Come on!" Cloud shut his eyes tightly in reflex. "I'm not waiting any longer," the man said harshly, wrapping his arm under Cloud's neck once more but this time grasping his one shoulder while he began forcing his way inside Cloud's body.

000

Finally Zack and Rayna had made it inside her apartment. It was bound to happen. While they'd been under the stairs at the club, they'd been locked to each other's lips. While on the dance floor, Zack had had to hold himself back from taking hold of her the way he was doing now, pushing her against the wall with a hand gripping her back and his other one running up the side of her thigh. His fingers were pushing up the material of her skirt as she was pressing her body into his. She had stopped him though, a hand taking hold of his as she pulled back from him. All she had said was "Not here" before they were leaving the club and making their way to her apartment around the block. Now inside, she reached for the light switch just inside the door but missed, keeping them in darkness while Zack kicked the door closed behind him. He was walking her forward, one hand on her back and his other at the back of her head as their lips were clasped tightly together. He walked her back into the table which scraped against the tile and was moved out of their path fast. They were stopped by the kitchen counter then and Rayna let out a short cry as her back was pushed into it rather hard. The sound brought a smile to Zack's face and he slid his hands down her sides to grasp the material of her shirt and pull it upwards, over her head. She pushed him back then, turning him fast, his back hit the fridge and the appliance rattled while some boxes fell from the top of it to the floor. Rayna proceeded to pull his own shirt from him and as their lips crashed together again she reached down to undo his pants and he struggled to kick off his boots at the same time. His pants slid to the floor as he was pushing down the material of her spandex skirt over her hips.

Before he could grab hold of her again, she stepped back from him and he observed her as she placed one foot on the chair nearby and unzipped the first of her boots. When she'd finished with the second one she stepped back to the edge of her bed and sat down before sliding herself back and beckoning him with one finger. The effects of the pill she had gave him had been wearing off and he was now getting back to his senses, which made it seem so much worse that he was doing what he was doing. He knew it was wrong but continued anyway. He spared not a moment in closing the distance between them and climbing onto the bed over her. Her hand reached for the back of his head, pulling him down so she could kiss him again. She undid her bra then and slipped it from her shoulders and finally off before reaching for his boxers. When they were both stripped completely of clothing, she stopped them, putting a hand on his chest as he was hovering above her.

"What?" he breathed out impatiently. He watched her turn over slightly and reach over to the side table, pulling open a small drawer and taking out a small square package that he recognized instantly. The thought of protection had never entered his mind but Rayna took care of that for him and once covered he pushed her back on the mattress, his one hand interlocked in hers. He entered her hard and fast, perhaps too much so because she released a soft cry and squeezed his hand so hard it actually hurt. She lifted her hips then and pressed herself to his body closer, while her other hand slid around to his back. He moved his own free hand under her back and gripped the back of her head, his fingers curling themselves into her dark hair.

She moved with him as he thrust into her, squeezing her legs around his waist as he increased his pace. He pushed into her sharply, a part of him wanting to hurt her for her involvement in his turn towards drugs. He was angry too, for the fact that he couldn't control himself with her, that he wanted her, and that he would rather be with her right now than Aerith. He couldn't help thinking of Aerith with someone else. With Kunsel. Or worse, Tseng. She hadn't told him about Kunsel, so who's to say she hadn't slept with Tseng too and was keeping it a secret from him. The thought that she may have been sleeping with Tseng while he was locked away in the Shinra Mansion infuriated him and he pushed that fury upon Rayna. She pushed against his hand with hers, clenching it in a white-knuckled grip and he responded by pushing it harder against the bed as he clutched her hair tighter, sweat dripping from his face. She dug her nails hard into his back then and he gritted his teeth, while the flash of pain pushed him to the edge of climax. He thrust into her deeply twice more before his orgasm washed over him and had his movements slowing and coming to a stop. He nearly collapsed upon her, panting as he loosened his grip on her hand and hair. He had enough presence of mind though to shift his weight off of her and let himself come to rest next to her, lying on his back while his chest rose and fell with slow heaves. He didn't know how Rayna was going to react to him in those following moments. He'd just used her, less than gently, and he wasn't sorry about it. It had felt good and he wouldn't have minded doing it again in the future.

Barely a minute had passed when he felt her climb over him, straddling his waist. He opened his eyes as she pressed her lips to the side of his neck and began to nip and suck at the skin. Her one hand traveled down to stroke his softening member and he grasped her hand in his.

"What are you doing?" he asked her when she looked up at him.

"It's my turn now you selfish son of a bitch," she replied with a devious smile before lowering her mouth to the skin just below his collarbone and biting into it. He let out a cry of shock while she ground her body into his, the friction and sudden pain bringing his body back to life. She gripped his now slowly hardening penis and knelt over him before lowering herself back onto him, taking him inside her once more. She didn't waste much time before leaning forward slightly, her hands on his chest as she began to work him. Still sensitive from his very recent release, her movements struck him with a mixture of pleasure and discomfort, both of which increased when she gripped the headboard on the bed and used it as leverage while she rode him. He couldn't help himself from gripping her thighs and thrusting into her as he began to feel his body growing desperate for a second climax. Seeing him getting close, she slowed her movements suddenly and he let out a groan, attempting to rise so he could grab onto her and use her once more to fulfill his need. She slammed a hand down on his chest, and pushed him back against the bed, waiting to make sure she wasn't met with resistance before she began to move herself harder and faster against him once more. She was whining and moaning as she got herself close to her own climax and he was letting out soft grunts as he clenched his teeth and pushed upwards frantically, thinking that if she came before him he would probably die of the need to release himself once more. They climaxed together though, the action of her clenching from her own pushing him over the edge. He grabbed onto her hips and pushed her against him more deeply while she gripped the headboard harder and cried out. She released the headboard then and her upper body fell against him while they both breathed deeply. Zack's hands slid off her hips to fall at his sides and he closed his eyes, feeling his muscles begin to go limp.

000

On the floor in Mailer's living room, Cloud called out with a loud, quivering protest as Mailer began to force himself inside him. Next to being taken back to the lab, this was his worst nightmare. A nightmare he had never wanted to experience for a second time. The first hadn't been truly 'real'. But this was. The weight of that realization was more crushing than Mailer's body. And after he relived this nightmare, his other nightmare would become real as well, when Mailer turned him over to Hojo as he said he'd been planning. He had to do everything he could to stop it from happening. He pulled his hand back from under the desk and looked down at what he was holding. It turned out to be a rounded X-Acto knife. He pushed the blade up and gripped the weapon tightly in his hand. He reached up towards Mailer's arm circling his neck and was about to touch the blade to his skin when Mailer dug his fingers into his shoulder and made another long thrust with his hips that forced his member deeper into Cloud and tore a hoarse cry from his mouth.

"Jesus, you're so goddamn tight," Mailer grunted. "Just like I remember," he added as he made a third thrust and drove himself the rest of the way in. Cloud bit back the urge he had to cry out again. He felt paralyzed by the pain, his whole body instantly alive with prickles of fire, the worst of it on the inside, feeling that he was being literally ripped into. His brain seemed to forget in an instant to fight back and save himself. Mailer said something else in his ear but he didn't really comprehend it before the man thrust his hips forward again, pushing him against the wood floor that seemed to hold onto his skin tightly and pull it in the opposite direction. A choked cry left him and tears flooded his eyes fast. Mailer clutched him tighter, squeezing him hard as he pulled back slowly and then pushed forward again roughly, drawing another sound of anguish from him, though he was trying to hold it back.

"Gotta get you bleedin' a bit, little bitch," Mailer commented with some difficulty. "Can barely fucking move." He made several smaller, stabbing thrusts and, with them, what seemed like the worst of the pain dulled slightly and finally Cloud gained back a bit of his ability to process his own thoughts. He became aware once more that he was still holding something in his hand, gripping it harshly in fact. He wasted not a moment longer in pressing the blade of the knife to Mailer's arm and dragging it across his skin fast. The man let out a startled sound and pulled his arm from under Cloud. He raised himself up on the palms of his hands and looked down at his arm and the blood that was running down it.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered just before Cloud twisted his body slightly and plunged the knife blade into the back of his right hand, tearing a pained cry from Mailer finally. Cloud removed the blade quickly and the man sat back on his heels, pulling out of him in the process, an action almost as painful for Cloud as the penetration had been. No longer skewered, Cloud turned over and sat up as fast as he could, raising the knife up and bringing it down as hard as he could into the soft tissue at the base of Mailer's neck, right behind his left collar bone. Though Mailer yelled out, he knew it wasn't enough to stop the man. Retracting the black, he slashed at Mailer's face with it, carving a long gash across his left cheek. It forced Mailer's head to the side momentarily but he raised his fist then with anger darkening his eyes fast. Cloud didn't give him the chance to hit him before he brought the knife down twice more near the base of his neck and Mailer finally fell back and out of his reach.

Knowing it was his last chance to get away, Cloud turned over and pulled himself to his hands and knees, recovering himself with his boxer shorts and beginning to make distance between himself and Mailer. He glanced back over his shoulder and his stomach fell hard as he could see Mailer reaching up into the desk for something. Cloud suspected he knew what it was before he'd even seen it. Somehow he managed the strength to stagger from his knees to a stand as he caught the flash of a gun. With everything he had, he bolted for the front door.

He fumbled with the lock briefly and had just pulled the door open when the sounds of gunshots filled the room. He cried out as he felt one of the bullets pierce his upper arm and he lost his balance but kept moving, only hitting the ground on his knees for a brief second before scraping them against the concrete outside the door as he propelled himself forward again. He was sure Mailer would be after him quickly so he ran as fast as his legs would move him. He found himself rather quickly running into a semi-crowded street of bars and food stands. He discovered then just how sensitive his eyes and ears were as a result of whatever he'd been drugged with. Pain shot to the backs of his eyes when he'd faced the first neon lights, and the abundance and loudness of the sounds were making his head throb so bad he had to cover his ears as he tried to cross the street to get away from it. His movements were uncoordinated and he stumbled as though he were drunk. He was afraid to look back in case Mailer was coming after him. Part of him said it was safer to stay where there were people but he didn't think these people would notice if someone was in distress or needed help.

When he'd finally made it far enough away from the street that he could just barely hear the music coming from its bars, he stopped and looked around. He had no idea where he was. It was dark and late from what he could gather. He suddenly felt sick as he was standing in the middle of a near empty street. He dragged himself over to a building nearby where he nearly lost his balance again as he started to vomit. Gripping the corner of the wall, he fell to one knee as he was heaving out his stomach contents. When he'd finished, he stayed leaning over for a few seconds, spitting out what was still in his mouth. Though he couldn't tell for sure in the dark, he thought he tasted a familiar copper flavour of blood. Looking down he noticed the end of Mailer's belt hanging in front of him. With a slightly trembling hand, he reached for the belt, pulling it from his neck and dropping it to the ground before he finally pulled himself back to a stand to rest a moment. As he leaned against the wall of the building he felt like his strength had been expended, and then some. His arm was burning and throbbing as blood dripped from his elbow. He didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to keep himself moving. He wouldn't be able to make it very far, even if he thought he could. He was without footwear. Forcing himself forward again he began crossing a street towards an alleyway

As fate would have it, Reno and Rude were heading back to headquarters when up ahead they caught sight of someone stumbling across the road. Rude slowed the car down as they were approaching. It took them a moment to realize they knew who it was.

"Is that Strife?" Rude spoke up first.

"What the hell is he doing?" Reno wondered aloud as his partner pulled the car to a stop and they watched him hobble into the mouth of an alley.

"We should check it out," Rude said.

"Seriously?"

"Yes," his partner said definitively, pulling the car over to the side of the road. Reno groaned when Rude turned the car off and unbuckled his seatbelt to get out of the car. He didn't move and his partner gave him a hard stare. "You're coming with me," he ordered and Reno scoffed. "Come on," Rude urged, opening his door and stepping out. He leaned back in and spoke a sharp "_Now_."

Rolling his eyes, Reno submitted, taking his seatbelt off and getting out. He followed after Rude into the darkness of the alley where they could just barely make out Cloud near the opposite end, gripping the wall as he stumbled and half-dragged himself forward.

"Hey!" Rude called out. "Strife!"

Cloud glanced back once before picking up his pace suddenly and moving for the mouth of the alley as quick as he could, which was only slightly faster than he was already going.

"Strife!" Rude repeated, taking up a faster pace as well. Cloud disappeared outside of the alley, rounding the corner into the street, but there was no doubt the Turks were going to catch up with him. When they did so, he still tried to elude them.

"Le-leave me a-alone," he stuttered out. Now close to him, they could see he was injured, blood covering his sleeve and dripping from his elbow.

"Strife, hold up already!" Rude demanded as he moved to get in front of him. Cloud halted immediately and looked up at Rude, panic evident in his shadowed face. He turned as if about to try to run in the opposite direction but he realized fast that Reno was in his way. He groaned then in defeat, stepping backwards toward the wall of the nearest building.

"Go away," he said. "Just go away." He was forced to stop when his back met the wall. There was a large sign on the wall and a light just below the eaves illuminated it. When Cloud came to rest under it, it was then that the Turks were able to see his face more clearly and the blood that was covering the one side of it.

"What the fuck?" Reno spoke up. "Someone really kicked his ass," he remarked. "That's nice," he added and Rude shot him a scolding expression. "His boyfriend's not gonna be impressed his lady's been up here getting knocked around," Reno said with a chuckle. Rude ignored him and looked at Cloud.

"Hey," he said. "What happened?"

When Cloud didn't respond, Rude took his phone from his pocket. "Better call Tseng," he said and stepped away to make the call.

"Why? What do you think he's gonna do about it?" Reno questioned but Rude just turned his back on him. He sighed, turning back to face Cloud, only to see him moving along the wall like he was trying to take off again.

"Where the hell are you trying to go?" Reno asked as he stepped in front of Cloud once more and placed his hand against the wall, making Cloud halt once again. "What'd you do, challenge someone else to a fight in a bar. Not everyone's as nice as I am, ya know. I was going easy on you that one night," he said with a short laugh. When Cloud pivoted away from him in the opposite direction, he reached to grab onto his shirt lightly. Cloud responded fast by turning back to him and throwing a hand out, shoving him back.

"Get the fuck away from me!" he croaked out and nearly stumbled to his knees before grabbing at the wall, keeping himself from collapsing.

Reno just scoffed in return and crossed his arms as he leaned his one shoulder against the wall next to him. He wasn't sure what it was that made him look down, perhaps it was the fact he'd just realized Cloud wasn't wearing pants, but he found his eyes traveling to Cloud's legs where he noticed a line of blood running down the inside of his left thigh and all he could do for a moment is stare in confusion. Cloud realized suddenly what he'd noticed and clapped a hand to his thigh, wiping at the blood with is palm and letting the dark material of his boxers absorb the rest of it. He raised his eyes then and looked at the Turk. Reno saw tears brimming his eyes fast but they were never released as Rude said something and Cloud looked away.

"Hey," Reno heard Rude speak though it seemed far off. A disturbing realization in his head found him barely comprehending Rude had said anything.

"Reno!" Rude shouted when his partner didn't respond.

Reno turned then, tearing his gaze off Cloud. "What?" he asked sharply.

"I need your phone. Mine just died on me," he announced and Reno glanced once at Cloud before taking out his phone and approaching his partner. Rude took it from him and attempted to dial without luck, the numbers not punching in. "You have a lock on here, Reno," he said as he held it back out to Reno.

"No I don't," Reno denied as he took it back. It took some fiddling with the phone before Rude was calling in to Tseng. When Reno turned back to Cloud he was met with the blank wall of a building. "Fuck," he muttered.

000

There was silence between Zack and Rayna save for their breathing as they lay motionless on her bed. And it was in those few minutes that she was still lying on top of him, that he could feel her heart beating against his chest, rapid and strong until it began to slow in pace and her breathing evened out. She sat herself up slowly, still on top of him, pulling something out from under the pillow next to his head. He could see it was a pack of cigarettes. She opened it and took out one of the cigarettes and a lighter. Dropping the pack to the bed, she lit the cigarette and took a puff from it.

"You gonna get off?" he asked when she stared down at him.

"Again?" she replied with amusement. She turned the cigarette around when he said nothing and lowered it toward him, placing it into his slightly parted mouth. He closed his lips around it and breathed in, taking the smoke into his lungs. He'd never been much of a smoker so it burned but he didn't cough it out. The smoke made its way back out as he exhaled slowly.

"I could use a drink," she declared after taking another drag. "You?" she asked.

"Whatever," was his verbal shrug of an answer. She pushed herself off of him then and headed away from the bed. He watched her naked form move toward the fridge. She opened the door and leaned against it briefly before reaching in and pulling out two beers. She removed the caps with an opener and returned to the bed, sitting herself next to him, her back against the headboard; she held the one bottle out to him. Slowly he pushed himself up on the mattress so he could lean his head and shoulders against the headboard next to her. He noticed then some beaded and drying blood on his chest where she'd bit him. He dabbed at it lightly before glaring her way.

"You asked for it," she said and he took the beer from her, taking a swig and staring ahead of him. "Feeling guilty?" she asked after a few moments.

"About what?" he inquired back without looking at her.

"About sleeping with someone who's not your girlfriend?" she clarified.

_Yes_, he thought immediately but he didn't say it. He didn't say anything. Just took a long drink instead.

"Well," she sighed. "It's not like it meant anything," she pointed out. He turned his head to look at her but she kept her gaze forward.

"Yeah," he agreed softly. He took another few gulps from the beer bottle in his hand before setting it on the table next to the bed and lifting himself up to retrieve his clothes. He asked where the bathroom was and she pointed to a door next to the kitchen. He shut the door behind him and put his hands on the edges of the sink, leaning forward slightly. His eyes wandered up to his reflection and he scoffed, starting the water running and splashing some of it on his sweaty face before washing away the small amount of blood on his chest. He disposed of the condom he was wearing and dressed himself, realizing then that he had left his t-shirt back in that alley next to Scorch's club. It didn't matter. He was too warm still to wear it anyway. The recent physical activity hadn't helped any either. He must have left his undershirt back out in the kitchen somewhere because it wasn't with the pile he'd brought in the bathroom.

Smoothing his hair a little, he opened the door and stepped back out into the main area of the apartment, searching briefly for his shirt. He picked it up off the floor along with his boots and headed over to the bed, sitting himself down a moment so he could put the boots on and lace them up. His back was to Rayna but he could feel her watching him.

"Just like that, eh?" she said as he was tying the first boot.

"What?" he answered without looking back.

"Nothing," she muttered. He suspected she was referring the fact he was getting ready to leave. He knew how that must have seemed but only a small part of him cared. He had no idea what time it was but he knew it was late and that he needed to get back home. There was a good chance the trains weren't running and he'd have to walk.

"Can I ask you a question?" Rayna spoke up again.

"Go for it," he replied tiredly, putting on his second boot.

"How'd you get so many scars?" The question had him pausing his movements, sitting motionless while he stared at the laces on his boot. After a few seconds he just shook his head and continued to tighten the laces. "Hmm?" Rayna hummed.

"I said you could ask a question, I didn't say I'd answer," he responded finally.

"Let me guess," she continued, making him sigh inwardly. "You got a thing for dominatrixes." He couldn't help but glance back and smile lightly. "I knew it!" she said. He finished tying his second boot and pulled on his undershirt before standing and facing her. There was a bit of an awkwardness hanging in the air as they stared at one another. Rayna dispelled it when she raised her beer slightly. "Until next time..." she said with a smirk. Zack reached for the bottle on the table next to him. He drank down most of what was left and set it back down.

"Thanks for the beer," he said back before heading to the door and leaving her apartment.

000

Cloud didn't actually get very far from where the Turks had confronted him before he had to stop. It was becoming too difficult and too painful to keep walking. Fortunately he'd made it to a phone booth. Inside the booth, he lowered himself to his knees and began pushing the newspaper and trash away on the floor at the walls as he searched for coins. As luck would have it, he found several. It took most of his strength to pull himself up to use the phone. He dialled Zack's cell and waited for him to answer as he began shaking, shock finally setting in. Listening to the phone ring, he felt like his head was filling with some sort of dense substance, making it difficult to focus and even stay awake. He couldn't believe it when he got Zack's answering machine and as he proceeded to leave a message, he found out how hard it was becoming to form words.

"Zuh-Zack?" he said slowly. "I...I need help..." He looked around a little outside the booth. "I d-don't...know where...where I am..."

That's all he could think of to say. He looked down at the coins he still had in his one hand. Ending the call to Zack's cell, he placed another coin in the slot and made a second call to the only other number he knew. After he had dialled, the effort it took to keep himself standing became too much and he slid towards the floor, still holding the phone. He was basically hanging his weight from the cord and wondered if it was going to hold.

By the time Tifa finally answered, he was fighting to stay conscious. Still didn't mean he was able to form words as seemed confirmed when he struggled to pull together something. He thought he said something but must have been wrong because Tifa spoke a questioning 'hello?'

He made some sort of sound. Whatever it was, it was enough to indicate his presence on the other end of the line and somehow Tifa knew it was him.

"Cloud? What's wrong?" she asked.

She could barely make out his words as he said "I...need Zack."

"He's not here. Did something happen? Where are you?" she questioned, setting down the glass she'd been holding in her hand drying.

"The plate," he answered weakly.

"Where on the plate? What sector?" she pushed on for more information.

"I'm...not sure. Maybe...four."

"Well, what's around you? You're at a phone booth?"

"Yeah...I..." He looked through the glass of the booth and all he could really focus on was a giant lit-up letter 'N' across the street. "There's a...big 'N'"

"An 'N'?" she repeated.

Cloud said nothing.

"Cloud? Cloud!" she called into the receiver.

The phone had slipped from Cloud's grasp. He had heard the sound of footsteps near the booth. His heart beat harder in brief panic over the thought that Mailer or the Turks might have found him. He was prepared to fight, not that it would do him much good. But if anything he wouldn't go quietly.

If it was Mailer outside, he didn't come to the booth. After a minute the footsteps disappeared. Cloud didn't even bother to check the phone to see if Tifa was still on the line. He just wanted to get himself to someplace he felt relatively hidden from sight while he regained some of his strength. He didn't attempt to walk. By way of an awkward crawl, he made it to the nearest alley between two buildings and lay himself down. His last thought before he let himself pass out was that he was happy it was a warm night and he wasn't freezing on top of everything else he'd just had to deal with.


	25. Chapter 21

Songs for chapter: (1) Too Late – M83; (2) Ridculous - Hollidayrain; (3) Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythem of the War Drums; (4) With One's Heart in One's Mouth - Moving Mountains; (5) Life is a Dead Scene - Neverending White Lights

Chapter XXI

When Tifa got no further response from Cloud on the phone, she threw down the receiver and turned to face Joey who'd been watching her, waiting to find out what was going on. "I need to take your car," she said firmly. "Shut this place down for the night," she ordered. She paused briefly and turned back to the phone, dialing Zack's number. She got his answering machine right away, as if his phone were off. "Shit!" she exclaimed, this time slamming the receiver down. She didn't bother wasting time filling Joey in. She took his keys from him and was out the door almost immediately.

She made one quick stop before heading up to the plate. She just wanted to confirm for herself that Zack wasn't just at the apartment and not answering his phone. She pounded on the door hard but there was no answer. After a minute she gave up and went back to the car. She searched the glove compartment angrily for some scrap paper. She didn't get it. Where could he be? Finally she found a piece of paper and a pen. Hastily she wrote a note to Zack and returned to the apartment to shove it under the door. She headed up to the plate speedily.

Cloud had given her very few details on where he might be. He thought he might be in Sector Four so she went there first. A whole sector was pretty large when you were looking for one person. All she could do is drive around and hope to spot the big 'N' that Cloud had said he could see from where he was. She'd been driving around the sector for about twenty minutes when a sign caught her eye, though she didn't really consciously notice it right away. She'd driven past it and suddenly it registered in her mind when she'd gotten about 50 metres away from it that it could be what she was looking for. She put the car in reverse and headed back where she looked up at the sign that read _Ed's Buy 'N' Sell Electronics_. The letters of the _Buy 'N' Sell _ part of the sign went from small to large and then back to small, the first and last letters being the smallest and the 'N' standing out as the largest. It was also one of the only letters that was still lit up while the rest had burnt out or were flickering dimly. She turned to look across the street where there just so happened to be a phone booth.

She somewhat expected to find Cloud inside when she parked the car and approached it on foot, but he wasn't. She looked at the receiver, hanging by its cord from the phone and reached in to pick it up. Her fingers brushed against something sticky and when she hung the receiver up and pulled her hand back she found what looked like blood on her fingertips. Suddenly, as if by magic, she realized there were drops of drying blood all over the floor, and a few small smears on the one wall. She followed the drops with her eyes out of the booth and on the cement at her feet. She took a few steps forward, following them as she was led across the asphalt of the street.

"Oh, please tell me you weren't stupid enough to go someplace else, Cloud," she said aloud. Her worries were extinguished almost immediately when she spotted him just inside the mouth of the alley, lying down next to the wall. Her heart skipped a beat and sped up, her pulse beating hard in her ears as she looked upon what seemed like a lifeless body. When she got closer though she could see he was trembling a little. Nearing him, she could also start to see what seemed to be blood on the side of his head and face. That wasn't all. In the dark, she was just able to make out that his right sleeve looked half soaked with blood. "Oh god," she uttered quietly. _What the hell happened?_ she wondered with dread as she approached his side and crouched down next to him. She said his name as she placed a hand on the uninjured side of his face and gently turned it so she could look down on him directly. She pushed back the hair that was sticking to his forehead and partially covering his eyes. He seemed to frown in response before groaning a little.

"Can you hear me?" she asked. "Cloud? It's Tifa, can you open your eyes?" Slowly, his lids parted and he looked up at her.

"Tifa..." he said hoarsely and she nodded. "I wanna go home," he said almost brokenly.

"Come on," she replied softly, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her suddenly. "Let's go," she urged, taking his uninjured arm and helping him sit up. "You have to help me, I can't carry you," she added. He nodded a little and gritted his teeth as she began to stand, holding his arm and pulling him upwards with her.

000

Zack dragged his feet going up the apartment stairs, feeling like his own weight was pulling him down. He was starting to come down from the drugs he had taken and was thoroughly ready to crash on the couch, only because it was closer than the bed. It took him a moment at the top of the stairs to get his key from his pocket. He pressed his forehead against the door as he retrieved it and worked it slowly into the lock. He unlocked the door and stepped in the apartment, closing the door softly behind him. He was a little surprised the light in the kitchen area wasn't on. Cloud tended to leave it on for him if he was gone late. He made his way over to the couch, sitting down. He leaned over to start untying his boots but hesitated, just listening. He couldn't hear anything. Cloud was a quiet sleeper but not that quiet. With mako-enhanced hearing, he could pick up the softest of breathing if he listened hard enough.

There was a tight feeling in the pit of his stomach as he rose to a stand once again and headed toward the bedroom. He knew Cloud wasn't in there. He could feel it. And he could see it. Even in the darkness. He could see the empty bed. But he still reached for the light switch on the wall. As he flicked it on he felt his tight stomach plummet. He didn't even bother to call out for Cloud. He checked the bathroom but knew his friend wasn't in the apartment. As he headed away from the bathroom back towards the front door he spotted something on the floor. A piece of paper. He picked it up and turned it over, reading the words that had been written on it hastily.

_In case you haven't figured it out, he's not here. Come to the bar. If I'm not there, wait. _

_-Tifa_

He didn't know what to think. A hundred things ran through his head. Did something happen to Cloud? Is that what she was implying? He was out the door without another moment's hesitation.

He was panicking by the time he got to the bar, which was only added to by the fact that she wasn't there. Joey was there and was able to give him some details, though they weren't much.

"All I know is she got a call and like five minutes later she was taking my car and driving off, telling me to shut the place down," he explained as he continued to flip pages in a newspaper. It was just after 1 a.m. and he looked like he was struggling to stay awake.

"How long ago?" Zack asked, trying to keep his patience.

"I dunno. An hour ago, maybe."

There was the sound of a car door closing outside and Zack turned fast, headed for the door to the bar. He pushed it open and there was Tifa, leaning into the passenger's side of the car.

"What happened?" Zack called to her as he approached. He was immediately terrified by the image of Tifa trying to get Cloud out of the car. _He's getting sick again_, he thought. But that wasn't it. He pushed his way in and reached past Tifa to get a hold of Cloud and to get a handle on what they were dealing with. He realized then that Cloud was injured. His right sleeve was pretty bloody from the shoulder down to the elbow. He seemed unconscious and wearing nothing from the waist-down but boxer shorts and socks. "Cloud," Zack said his name as he placed a hand on the side of his face and turned his head toward him slightly. He could see then that there was drying blood on the side of his head and face. "Spike," he spoke a little more insistently, but his friend didn't respond. "What the hell happened?" Zack repeated. "Tifa?" he called when she didn't immediately answer.

"He called from the plate. I found him in an alley up in Sector Four. I didn't waste any time checking out his injuries. I just wanted to get him back here while he was still semi-coherent," Tifa explained.

"Come on, Spike, let's go," Zack said as he took hold of Cloud's right arm and lifted it. His friend came to life then, a cry partly of pain, partly of protest falling from his mouth. "I'm sorry, buddy, but I gotta get you out of the car," Zack spoke sincerely. He really didn't want to have to move him but it would be difficult to handle whatever injuries he had out there. He slid his one arm between Cloud and the back of the seat so he could get a good grasp under his left arm to pull him out of the car. He could carry him then if he had to.

Surprisingly, when Cloud's feet touched the ground, he made a clear effort to walk. Zack had his one arm around his neck and Cloud leaned into him heavily as he was half dragged into the bar. He stumbled a few times as Zack was trying to get him upstairs where he was finally able to lie down. Zack took his shirts off immediately and could tell that whatever serious injury he had it was to the back of his right arm. When he'd gotten Cloud turned over onto his stomach he was finally able to see what had happened.

"He's been shot," he announced to Tifa. "I think the bullet's still in. I'm gonna need some alcohol and something to dig it out with," he added. She left the room to go get what he needed. There were some other injuries on Cloud's back. Some small puncture wounds and a bit of heavy bruising. Bruising was becoming evident on many places on his torso, front and back, as well as his neck and his arms where distinct 'U' shaped markings were starting to darken in his flesh. There were markings like fingernails on his neck, his one shoulder and scratches near his waistline. Whoever had done all this to him, they'd been all over him. While Tifa was gone, Zack crouched down next to the bed and put a hand on the back of Cloud's head. Besides breathing a little heavily, he seemed about passed out again. "Spikey, you awake?" he questioned and received an expected no reply. He needed to know what had happened. Who had shot him, and why.

It wasn't until Zack began to pry the bullet from his arm that Cloud made another sound. He cried out a few times as Zack was digging into his skin with a pair of pliers but he barely moved.

"I know it hurts, buddy, I'm sorry," Zack spoke softly as he finally got a good grip on the bullet and was able to drag it back out from the muscle it had imbedded itself into.

"Zack," his friend uttered quietly, though unexpectedly.

"The hard part's over, Spikey, just the stitching to go," he assured him.

"The light," Cloud mumbled in response. "Too bright. It hurts," he added.

Zack looked at the lamp on the nightstand next to the bed. "Hang on, buddy, I'll move it," he said before standing and rounding the bed to retrieve it. He moved it to the other side of the room. It made seeing his wound a little more difficult and when he began to try and stitch the wound he found his hands trembling. He wasn't sure if it was because of the drugs he'd taken that night or if he was just getting upset. He'd tried to get Cloud to talk to him some more but he couldn't get much out of him. With his shaking hands now making it nearly impossible to do the stitching he started to get frustrated, his emotions starting to well up. Tifa stepped in then and urged him to hand over the needle. Finally, he gave in and stood up so she could take his place. Needing to do something, he worked on cleaning off some of the blood from Cloud's face with a cloth.

When Tifa finished stitching the wound in his arm she checked out one of the punctures on his back that seemed to have bled the most. "I think I'll put a few stitches in this one," she said and Zack nodded.

"He could use a few here near his temple," he pointed out and she agreed.

"I need to grab a drink of water first," she announced. "You want anything?" she asked and he shook his head. He waited for her to leave and then stood, taking a few steps back. His foot came down on something soft and he looked down to find himself standing on the shirts he'd taken off his friend. He picked them up and looked at the one a little more closely. He had noticed before that it was torn, or cut, but hadn't paid it much attention. He brought it around to the opposite side of the bed so he could hold it up against the light on the nightstand. There he was able to make out what was just barely discernible as letters cut into the fabric. They were mere slits, and they hadn't been completed, but it didn't matter. He could still make out some of the letters. _L-I-T-T-L-E B-I _and what he knew to be an unfinished 'T'. He felt a rush of emotion run through him. Several emotions. He felt sick, confused, fearful, but most of all, angry. He knew who had done this. Suddenly, all the markings on Cloud's body took on new meaning. All the bruises, the cuts, the scratches…His eyes fell on the markings at the waistline of his boxers.

"Oh, no, no," he groaned as he dropped the shirt and put his hands to his face and leaned over slightly, shaking his head. "No, please, no," he begged, praying for it not to be true. His immediate thoughts were that he should check Cloud for possible trauma he may have sustained if Mailer had sexually assaulted him but when he reached for the waistband of his boxers he couldn't do it. Instead, he moved back around to the other side of the bed and placed a hand on Cloud's upper back.

"Spike. Spike, wake up," he urged as he nudged his friend a little insistently, leaning down and speaking close to him. Tifa entered the room then and noticed him trying to wake Cloud.

"Zack, stop," she said fast. "Let him sleep."

He ignored her as he crouched to get closer to Cloud. His friend shifted a little. "Cloud, come on, look at me," he ordered as he prodded him a little harder.

"Zack! He needs to rest!" Tifa said in annoyance, coming to the side of the bed and standing over him. She reached down to grab his arm but he pulled away from her.

"I need to know where he was, Tifa!" he said back to her sharply. He turned back to Cloud, calling his name to him again. His eyelids lifted slowly, but only slightly. "Where were you tonight, Cloud?" Zack asked quickly.

Cloud breathed out slowly before mumbling "I...don't know." He closed his eyes again.

"Hey! Look at me, Spike," Zack demanded. Cloud released a soft huff.

"I don't know. 'm tired," he replied.

"Look at me," Zack ordered once again. Slowly Cloud complied. "Were you at the construction site when you were shot?" he asked. Cloud shook his head slightly.

"He was there. My water..." Cloud finally gave up some of the details.

"Did he drug you?" Zack inquired, his words almost on top of Cloud's as he tried to get as much out of him as possible. Cloud nodded just once. "Then what?" Zack asked. "He took you somewhere?" Cloud nodded again. "Where'd he take you?" was Zack's next question.

"To...where he lives...," Cloud replied softly, as though he was about to drift off.

"Where?" Zack probed, nudging him again to keep him from going to sleep on him. Cloud shook his head and Zack took that to mean he wasn't sure. He went with another approach. "What did you see there, Spike? Did you hear anything? Like cars or dogs? Something?"

"It smelled...like onions. People running above...like an apartment. Playing loud...music. Bars and...food and bright lights nearby," he described slowly.

"What else?" Zack asked when he'd stopped speaking again.

"I don't know..." Cloud answered groggily. His expression changed suddenly then as he started to tear up and panted softly as he began to cry. "I'm sorry," he said brokenly.

"No, Spikey," Zack said softly. He smoothed some of Cloud's hair back from his face. "It's not your fault. There's nothing to be sorry for," he added and shushed him gently. "It's over. You can sleep now, buddy," he reassured him. Cloud calmed once again. He let out a long exhale and moved his cheek a little against the pillow at his head. He tipped once again toward unconsciousness. This time, Zack let him be. He was fairly sure he wasn't going to get much else out of Cloud that night. He didn't want to see him upset. He wasn't entirely sure of what Mailer had done to him.

He pressed his forehead against his friend's lightly as he stroked his hair gently. He stood then and finally forced himself to turn away. He grabbed his coat off the chair nearby and headed for the door. Tifa didn't try to block his way but she followed after him.

"Zack," she tried to get his attention and he ignored her. "Zack!" she called again. "Where are you going?"

"Where do you think?" he called back, as if it should be obvious. When they got downstairs she rushed to get in front of him.

"You don't know where you're going," she said.

"I have a pretty good idea," he countered as he went for the door. As he twisted the knob and pulled, Tifa's palm slammed against the door, shutting it again.

"You can't go," she said firmly. Before Zack could say anything else she continued. "Are you that goddamn dense! When Cloud called here tonight he asked for _you_. He was looking for _you_!" she fired at him. "And you weren't here. You weren't at home! You wouldn't even answer your phone! He needed you and you weren't there. Now you're gonna leave? To do what? Try and find the person who shot him!"

Zack was ashamed as all hell. He _should _have been at home. Should have answered his phone. If he had been there he would have known something wasn't right. When Cloud wasn't at home he would have done something. Either gone to the bar or gone to the plate. He may have found him sooner. But it didn't matter now. All that mattered was finding Mailer and making him pay. Not just for this. But for all he'd done in the past.

"You don't understand, Tifa. This wasn't random. I know who did this to him, Tifa, and he has to pay!" Zack explained heatedly, trying to pull the door open once again.

"So, what? This is about some stupid revenge?" she shouted as she pressed the door shut once more.

Zack nearly lost it then as he turned toward her and nearly screamed "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE!"

Tifa was taken aback. Tears were flooding Zack's eyes as he was reliving in an instant whatever it was that must have happened. Tifa didn't try to stop him a third time as he pulled the door open and stepped out of the bar, slamming it shut behind him.

He wasn't one hundred percent sure he knew where he was going, and he wasn't by any stretch prepared to go after Mailer, but he was feeling so enraged and overrun in painful memories that he didn't care. One memory in particular. It was still so clear in his mind it hurt. He and Cloud had been sent into one of Hojo's simulations and like so many of those simulations, it seemed this one was only meant to torment them. It had been a shared simulation. Not only were they sharing it with each other, but with several of the Shinra guards as well, Mailer leading them. He and Cloud had been outnumbered and very soon were at the mercy of the guards, not that they showed any. They bound him to a post and forced him to watch while they assaulted Cloud.

As he thought about it, he could almost feel the fingers of one of the guards digging into his skull as his head was held tightly, preventing him from turning it away. He saw more than enough to overwhelm him in sickness before he closed his eyes, blocking out partially what was happening. He couldn't get away from the sounds though. And amongst them were Cloud's sobs and anguished, agony-filled cries. When the one holding his head realized he'd had his eyes closed he ordered him to open them and watch or else he and the other guards would resume beating Cloud when they were finished raping him. He listened to the threat and opened his eyes. He found Cloud looking back at him. He looked so utterly desperate and ashamed, pleading through his eyes to be saved from further pain and humiliation. Though Zack wasn't able to close his eyes, they clouded up with tears, blurring his vision as he waited for what seemed to be lasting an eternity to end. Cloud grew quieter then, the shock and exhaustion setting in. Whatever whimpers and soft sobs he let out were drowned out by the sounds made by the guards.

While it had been in simulation, it might as well have actually happened. The pain, scars, and fear it had left behind were as real as ever. Further, there were numerous times when the guards had hurt them one way or another. They had to pay, and Mailer was a good place to start.

He grabbed a train up to the plate, fortunately he hadn't had to wait at the station, otherwise he probably would have ran his way up there instead. He had a pretty good recollection of Sector 4 and knew where the real lively parts were. While the details Cloud had given had been limited, they were pretty good and he could almost picture the area he'd been talking about. It was a low-rent area, sort of gritty, which was quite fine with him. Less went noticed in such places. Still, he knew he needed to be careful. He wouldn't put it past Mailer to call for someone to come back him up, maybe someone from Shinra. He didn't know the whole circumstances surrounding his decision to kidnap Cloud. It stood to reason it may have something to do with Hojo. He was just hoping that Mailer would still be on his own, or that whoever was with him could be easily taken out. He had no weapons with him so he couldn't be reckless.

He was sure he was close to Mailer's apartment when he came upon the place he'd remembered from his SOLDIER days. The street was lined with bars, clubs, and outdoor food stands. They were all still very much active at that time of night. Things didn't usually die down there until around 3:30 am. It was a no vehicle zone at night so there were numerous people crowding the road. From there he was a little lost. Cloud had said he smelled onions so he let that guide him. One particular stir fry cart seemed to be letting off quite a strong scent. It was towards the one end of the street, where interestingly enough there were a few low rise apartment structures, and Cloud had said he thought it may have been an apartment. They were pretty run-down looking buildings. A number of the units had no glass in the windows so he had to wonder if they were even inhabited. He had a feeling that somewhere in one of those buildings was Mailer's apartment, he just needed to figure out which one, and which apartment.

There was a walkway between the two buildings leading to a courtyard so he went through there, keeping his eyes sharp for any clues. When he reached the courtyard he thought he looked at the doors to the ground level apartments. There was nothing out of the ordinary. No flashing sign that said "MAILER LIVES HERE." Sighing, he moved to the left and began walking the small sidewalk that ran outside all the apartment doors. He stopped fast when he recognized blood, on the frame of the one door. It looked like cast-off from a blow or...a gunshot wound perhaps. It was still sticky. Zack felt his adrenaline shoot up immediately. This could be the one. Cloud had mentioned having to go down any stairs so that would mean ground-floor. This had to be the one. This was the apartment. He could feel it.

He couldn't say for sure, but it didn't look like the place was crawling with Shinra or anything but he also didn't want to just waltz in the front door either so he made his way to the other side of the building, hoping there would be a window he could enter through. There were, in fact, two windows at the back, though he could see that one was boarded up. That left him one option. He cut through the screen easy enough and was able to slide the old window open. He peered in first to make sure the coast was clear. It looked to be a bedroom. The door to the room was shut so that's as far into the apartment as he could see.

Using every bit of stealth capability he had, he made his way into the room through the window, making next to no noise. Once in the room, he headed for the door and stopped, listening. He couldn't hear anything outside of the room, but above was the loud booming of the bass from a speaker system. It was unbelievably loud and he could almost feel the vibration through the floor. While standing at the door, his imagination started to run with the possibilities of what may be on the other side. But if Mailer was out there, and if by chance he was there waiting for him, it was unlikely he'd expect him to come through the bedroom. Still, he wasn't going to be under-cautious.

He took the doorknob in his hand and turned it slowly, a few degrees per second, not wanting to make the slightest noise. When the knob had been turned fully, he placed his other hand on the door and lifted up slightly, trying to take the pressure off the hinges in case it was a particularly creaky door. It didn't matter. The moment he'd opened the door just a centimetre, there was a loud noise he knew to be gunfire. It wasn't the weapon that had shot Cloud. The blast came from a shotgun and it had hit the door full force, blowing it wide open, the wood splintering in several places while he was turning and dropping to the floor. He scurried away from the door to the left and stood up, his back on the wall next to the doorway, just out of view. He had been wrong. Mailer was smarter than he gave him credit for. He had known the window would be his chosen point of entry. He hadn't really imagined Mailer would have a shotgun. That made things a little more difficult. While he tried to rethink his attack, a voice called to him from the other room.

"I know it's you, _Z1_," it said and Zack furrowed his brow with the mental pain and anger that came from hearing that name. "You came fast. Guess that means the little bitch made it home safe and sound."

_Safe and sound_. Zack thought of Cloud lying unconscious at Tifa's, beaten and exhausted, still half-drugged. _Mailer was hurting him while I was..._he shook his head. He couldn't think about it right now. He needed a clear mind. He looked over at the table next to the bed. There was a metal alarm clock sitting there. It might just do the trick, he thought. With the clock in his hand, Zack stood against the wall next to the door and took a slow breath. He hoped Mailer wasn't hiding behind anything. He didn't even really know where the man was situated. He guessed pretty well straight across the room from the doorway.

"Pretty sure even you can't stand up against a shotgun," Mailer called to him. "Might as well give up now," he suggested.

Obviously the man knew nothing about him, about the number of guns he'd been up against alone in the past. He also had impeccable aim, not so much with a gun. He'd never been that great at wielding firearms, just dodging their bullets. But he was great with objects he could throw. He just hoped his lack of practice wouldn't hinder him at that moment. He was about to make his move but paused. Stepping back over to the bedside, he grabbed a pillow off the bed. Standing again at the wall, he swung the pillow through the doorway out into the other room. Mailer shot at it out of reflex and before he could pump the gun for the next shot, Zack stepped into the doorway with his arm pulled back. His eyes searched and found Mailer's shadowy figure fast and he let his arm fly. The clock hit him in the forehead, nearly knocking him back off his chair. It didn't though, and he was preparing his next shot fast as Zack rushed out from the bedroom, ready to tackle him down. He saw the barrel of the shotgun aiming his way and the man's hand on the trigger and he dropped fast, the shot missing him as he slid over the last few feet of distance between him and Mailer. His feet connected with the legs of the man's chair, pushing it out from under him. He fell to his knees on the floor.

Mailer held onto his gun tightly and swung it to aim at Zack on the floor next to him, pumping at the same time. Zack gripped the barrel in his hand and pushed it away from himself, the shot going off and hitting the wall. Needing to reload, Mailer took the gun in both his hands and threw the butt of it towards Zack, catching him in the side of his face. It hardly fazed Zack, only fueling his temper more. He rolled onto his stomach and reached out, grabbing hold of Mailer's legs as he was pulling himself away. He yanked the man back and climbed over him, circling an arm around his neck fast. With his other hand on the back of Mailer's head he pushed the man harder into his arm, preventing him from breathing. Mailer struggled hard but there was no way he was getting away. As he started to go limp, Zack realized how easy it would be to just kill him right then. Too easy. And far too merciful. He released his hold when the man had passed out.

It wasn't going to take him long to regain consciousness so Zack took to searching for the drugs he'd used on Cloud. They had to be somewhere in the apartment. He made sure he got hold of the shotgun first and he searched Mailer for any other weapons, finding the handgun he'd probably shot Cloud with. He searched for the drugs next, locating a bottle of clear liquid in the kitchen with some syringes lying next to it. He wasn't sure what the drug was, or what its potency was. He only wanted Mailer knocked out long enough for him to prepare himself so he injected the man with only a small amount.

With Mailer successfully drugged, he took the opportunity to take a quick look around the apartment. The living area showed signs of a previous struggle or fight. The coffee table was broken and the desk nearby was strewn with all sorts of papers and writing utensils, with more of the same on the floor around it. Amongst it all were drops, smears and small splatters of blood. On the floor by the desk he also located Cloud's pants, a discovery that hit him like a brick. It just confirmed that it had really happened. Cloud had been here just hours earlier.

Next to the bedroom he'd come in was another room, the room he realized was probably the one Mailer had intended to keep his friend in. He scanned it briefly, taking note of the boarded window, the locks on the door and the dirty mattress in the middle of it. There was a small amount of fresh blood staining on it as well. A pair of scissors lay on the floor near the mattress, and it was in that room that he found Cloud's boots and what was left of his belt. He felt sick as he looked around the room. If Cloud hadn't managed to fight his way out of there he might still have been locked in that room and he would have had no idea where his friend was.

During his quick search through the unit he also came upon both Cloud's and Mailer's cell phones and a set of keys belonging to Mailer. When he looked up the recent call history on Mailer's phone he could see the man had made a call about an hour ago but there was no name with the number. Zack wasn't going to wait around to figure out if someone was going to be showing up shortly. He found a bag in Mailer's room and used it to pack up a few things, including Cloud's stuff. He also took the handgun but left the shotgun behind. He heaved Mailer's unconscious body over his shoulder and left the apartment through the front door.

He made sure to keep his eyes open for trouble but the courtyard was still as empty as when he'd crossed through twenty minutes before. The end of the courtyard opened into a parking lot and he headed in that direction. One of the keys belonging to Mailer was a car key so he was hoping he'd get lucky and could save himself the trouble of carrying the asshole where he was going to take him.

He'd made note of Mailer's apartment number on the way out and luckily there were corresponding numbers on the parking spaces so he was able to locate Mailer's car quickly enough. He dumped the man in the backseat of the vehicle before getting in the driver's seat. He wasn't entirely sure where he was heading. Someplace where they weren't going to be interrupted, and where no one would hear anything. He glanced in the rear view mirror several times, almost expecting to see Mailer waking up. Each time he set eyes on the man the same thing kept running through his mind: _This is happening_.

He drove Mailer down to the slums, to a relatively isolated part of the sector, towards the outskirts. There were some old factory buildings there, shut down for decades. There was the possibility of squatters being there, but it was unlikely. The area was thought to be contaminated with raw mako waste, dumped there by the Shinra Corporation. It was actually a lie, started by Shinra itself, in order to keep people away from the area which was actually just structurally unsound. He drove the car around the side of the one building and put it into park, shutting the engine off. He really didn't have long before sunrise and he wanted to be out of there before then. That gave him a few hours.

Holding the bag he'd brought from Mailer's apartment in one hand and carrying Mailer once more, he headed into the nearby building. Judging by the few sounds that were coming out of Mailer, the man was waking up slowly. _Perfect timing_, Zack thought when he'd dropped the man to the floor and proceeded to do a quick search of the immediate area, to make sure they were alone. During his search he came across some old chairs and took two, bringing them back to where he'd left Mailer. He sat the man up in one of them and his still unconscious body slumped into it while Zack began removing some items from the bag nearby. Earlier he'd found a roll of duct tape in Mailer's apartment and was now using it to tape the man's wrists together behind his back. One final piece he placed over his mouth. He was starting to come around at that point but when he stopped moving and looked as if he could go back into complete unconsciousness, Zack slapped the side of his face a few times until Mailer's eyes began to open.

Zack took a step back and sat down in the other chair directly across from Mailer. He waited as the man struggled to keep his eyes open and hold his chin up from falling back to his chest. His bleary gaze rested on Zack and he groaned a little. For several minutes, Zack just watched him, watched him fight to regain control of his drugged body and mind. Then, a strange sound came from Mailer. Zack couldn't quite be sure but he thought he sounded like the man was chuckling. Until now he was sure he really didn't want to hear anything the man had to say, but he was a little curious as to what he could possibly find funny about his current circumstance. Leaning forward he ripped the tape from the man's mouth. Mailer winced and released a grunt of discomfort before continuing to laugh.

"What?" Zack asked.

"I called in to Shinra for reinforcements," Mailer rasped out, sounding like he was straining his voice trying to talk. "They're going to be here any minute you stupid son of a bitch."

Zack couldn't help but smile. Obviously Mailer hadn't really taken a moment to consider his surroundings. "I kinda figured as much," Zack spoke back calmly. "So I guess it's a good thing we won't be at your apartment when they show up," he added and Mailer was silenced. The man turned his head and squinted as if trying to read something. "How does it feel, waking up someplace you've never been before, captive, and subdued against your will?" He did seem shocked to realize he wasn't still in his apartment.

"So. What, then?" Mailer mumbled as he closed his eyes momentarily. "You gonna kill me?" he asked and his eyes opened again to observe Zack across from him.

Zack nodded. "Soon," he spoke simply.

Mailer let out a hiss of amusement. "Oh, suppose you wanna talk first."

Zack hadn't really planned on talking to him, but now that it had been suggested...

"You've been tracking us down for Hojo?" he asked.

"Me and some of the others, yeah,"

"What others?"

"The ones of us who got canned for trying to barbecue you that one night at the mansion. Don't tell the others though, but I kinda figured I'd turn in the little bitch and keep the reward for myself."

"Reward?" Zack echoed.

"That is if I ever got round to it," Mailer went on. Zack looked at him through narrowed eyes.

"Meaning?" he asked as he leaned a little closer to the man.

A wide grin spread across Mailer's face. He was silent a few seconds before answering, though it wasn't what Zack had expected. "I thought for sure you'd have to be fucking him," the man said and Zack found himself sitting back once more in his chair. "Your little _buddy_," Mailer sneered and Zack was sure the feeling of disgust he felt was making its way to his face. "But tonight I realized I was wrong," the ex-guard concluded.

Zack leaned forward in his chair again fast, reaching out and grabbing hold of Mailer's shirt. "What the fuck does that mean?" he shouted close to the man's face.

Mailer smiled again, glancing down at Zack's hands gripping his shirt. When his eyes met Zack's again he began his answer with a hum. "Mmm," he licked his lips then. "What he had was pure virgin tightness. I know it."

Zack had drawn his fist back fast at the man's last word and directed it hard at the side of Mailer's face and no doubt he felt the full force of the mako backing it. He was knocked off his chair onto the floor. "NO!" Zack screamed down at the man while standing over him. He grabbed hold of Mailer's shirt again as he lay on the concrete and punched him again, not once, he wasn't sure how many times. He felt like he could explode and once again he was faced with the realization of how easy he could kill Mailer. Too many hits to his head and it would be over. He didn't want it to be easy. Especially not now. And yet, he couldn't make himself stop beating him. All he could do was aim someplace other than where it may kill him. Regardless of his mako enhancements, he still felt the pain in his hands as his knuckles collided against Mailer's bones. It wasn't long before he was kicking the man instead. He knew he was going to beat him within inches of his life, the way Mailer and some of the other guards had done with him and Cloud in the mansion, and it was more difficult than he could have imagined to make himself stop. But he did, when Mailer suddenly seemed like dead weight.

Breathing hard, he took a step back and waited to make sure the man was still breathing. He was better than that, he was still conscious, if his groans were any indication. Zack glanced at his cracked and bleeding knuckles, shaking his hand a little as he began to scan the area with his eyes. Very quickly, his eyes were drawn to some metal scrap where he kicked a few pieces aside and found a piece of copper piping. He took it in his hand and marched back toward Mailer. The man was trying to lift himself on his knees. Blood was dripping from his face to the floor. Zack stepped in front of him and Mailer tilted his head upward slightly, observing the pipe in his hand.

"Go ahead," he muttered somewhat to Zack's surprise. "Hit me some more freak, I like it, turns me on," he added with a grin. His teeth were red with his blood, the ones that were left anyway. A few Zack must have knocked out.

Zack looked down with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, that's not what it's for," he replied. "You wanna know where it's going?" he asked next, turning the pipe in his hand slightly, looking at it. "Or can you guess?" Mailer did seem a little apprehensive in response to his words but his expression also seemed confused as well, that was until Zack stepped back and moved behind him, dropping to one knee and grabbing hold of the top of his pants, clutching them tightly and giving a hard tug. Mailer caught on quickly enough and began to struggle but Zack thwarted his attempt by raising the pipe and bringing it down on his back, knocking him to his stomach. "I'd almost rather tear into you myself," Zack announced while tugging the material of Mailer's pants and underwear down to expose his buttocks. "But can you believe it? The thought of something like that just doesn't turn me on any. I guess this'll have to do." Mailer tried again to pull himself away while he shouted angry curses but Zack had a firm hold on him, pinning him to the floor. He wanted him to experience that pain and humiliation that Cloud must have felt. Wanted him to know the fear and helplessness and he wanted to hear him scream and beg with a multitude of _No's_ and _Please stop's_.

There was no way to be sure if Mailer felt all those things he wanted him to, and the man didn't beg. But he did scream.

It was a few moments after it appeared Mailer had lost his ability to scream any more that Zack pulled the pipe, now slick with Mailer's blood, from his body and tossed it to the side where it rolled several meters away. While the man lay on the floor moaning with what he hoped was one of the worst pain's he'd ever experienced, he went for a knife that he'd brought from Mailer's apartment. After Mailer and the other guards had assaulted Cloud in Hojo's simulation, Mailer had carved into the skin of Cloud's back with a knife. While Zack wanted to do the same, he also wanted to do worse. He returned to Mailer and knelt over him once more, taking the knife and cutting into the man's shirt before ripping it open. He had somewhat expected Mailer to start fighting him again, but he didn't. He lay relatively still, though he was still groaning and panting.

Zack pressed the blade of the knife hard against the skin of Mailer's back, at his shoulder. He could see the blood that seeped from the line and he watched it gather faster as he began to pull the blade downward, never releasing pressure. It almost seemed as if the man felt nothing. He didn't move at first, until his flesh was coming away from his body, beginning to fold while it was being cut away. Then he started to cry out, struggling and trying to pull himself forward again to get away from the new pain. He was too late as the flesh under the knife thinned and the strip was detached from him, lying limp on his back. Zack stared down at it a moment. Blood was running over Mailer's back and dripping to the floor. He didn't really want to look at the wound, at the place where the skin had been and muscle tissue was exposed, along with other things he really didn't want to try to identify. He picked up the strip of skin, imagining that it wasn't what it really was and tossed it next to Mailer's head. It landed next to his face and clung to the floor. Mailer turned his face away from it after just a split second of looking t it. His hands went out ahead of him and his fingers curled as if trying to dig into the floor to pull himself forward.

"What's the matter?" Zack asked him. He set his free hand down on the back of Mailer's neck, keeping him in place. "Aren't you having fun?" he added sharply and then brought the knife to his back a second time. He took two more strips from the man's back, stopping when Mailer began to throw up, choking and sputtering on his own vomit as he was struggling to breathe after a long bout of pained cries.

When it sounded like the man had managed to clear his own airway, he reached down and grasped Mailer's shoulder, turning him over. Mailer looked up at him with an exhausted expression. His eyes were heavy and bloodshot, his face pale beneath the blood, sweaty, and swollen from the punches he'd taken. "So, still turned on?" Zack questioned. An expression of anger ghosted across the man's face before he made a tell-tale motion with his mouth that had Zack wishing he'd leaned back before a mixture of saliva, blood, and vomit was spit in his direction, hitting his face, some of it landing on his own lips. He wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand and gripped the handle of the knife still in his other hand.

"Here, hold this," he ordered and thrust the knife blade into the top of Mailer's right thing, pulling a short yell from the ex-guard. He took hold of Mailer and dragged him back up into the chair nearby where he removed the knife from the man's leg just as fast as he'd planted it. "Thanks," he muttered. He watched Mailer a moment, his head hanging close to his chest while he heaved in some uneven breaths. "You got any last words you fucking waste of space?"

There was no response at first from Mailer but after a minute he shook his head then spoke. "You're fucking _insane_," he sputtered out and began laughing.

"Shut up," Zack ordered.

Mailer went on. "You're no different than me or anyone else from that mansion you wanna get back at—"

"Shut up!" Zack shouted, motioning in threat with the knife.

"You can kill me, but it won't change the fact you're irreversibly fucked up," the man concluded.

Zack yelled out in frustration and his free hand shot out to grab hold of Mailer's jaw. He pried Mailer's mouth open with his hand and reached his fingers in, grabbing for the man's tongue. Mailer fought to try and close his mouth but Zack pressed down on the knife wound in his thigh making him cry out, his mouth opening wide. Grasping Mailer's tongue, Zack had to dig his fingernails into it harshly to keep hold of it. The mass of tissue was slick with saliva and blood and difficult to hold onto. It took a great deal of effort to pull it out from Mailer's mouth but he managed to do so. Wasting not a second, he raised the knife quickly and pressed it against the side of the muscle.

"Nuh!" Mailer protested, shaking his head.

"What's that?" Zack asked, pausing briefly but keeping his tight grip on the tongue. His fingernails were drawing blood.

"Nuh! Don!" Mailer called out when he applied more pressure with the knife blade.

"Oh. You're saying 'no'," Zack said mockingly. _Finally _, he thought. "Ya know, that's pretty fucking funny 'cause I seem to remember hearing Cloud saying that to you a few times. Screaming it at you," he said sharply. "And did it make a fucking difference?" He yanked harder on the man's tongue, stretching it out further. Gripping the handle of the knife harder, he began cutting and immediately Mailer was calling out with pain. Blood rose to the wound fast as he began sawing, making his way through the tough material. He didn't expect as much blood as was released from that organ, nor did he expect Mailer to scream so much. He actually felt sick for a moment, half way through, but he pushed on until he was left holding the end of the tongue. He dropped it at Mailer's feet and before he gave himself much time to think over what to do next he put a hand on Mailer's left shoulder and thrust the knife into the man's gut.

Oddly, the sounds of pain coming from Mailer were abruptly cut off but that new wound. Zack removed his hand from the man's shoulder and placed it on his forehead, pushing and tilting the man's head back. He wanted Mailer to look at him. When the man's eyes met his own he pulled the knife from his stomach and plunged it again into his body, this time a little higher. And then a third time. And a fourth. Again and again, the whole time, never looking away from Mailer's eyes. He was looking to see the life disappearing from them. When at last he could see it, he thrust the knife one final time into the centre of Mailer's chest, into his heart. Mailer's last breaths were choked and strangled and in mere moments, the last of his life seemed to drain away, like the blood flowing into his own lap.

Zack screamed out as he ripped the knife from Mailer's chest. Breathing hard, he stood straight, his chest heaving as he looked down at the top of Mailer's head, hanging in front of his now lifeless body. He took a few slow steps backward and the knife dropped from his slackening grip. He felt lightheaded suddenly and found himself sinking to his knees, taking in ragged breaths. Sweat was dripping from his forehead, some of it running into his eyes and when he lifted a hand to wipe at it he stopped, realizing now, more so than before that his hands were covered in blood.

Pulling himself to a less than solid stand, he headed away from the scene in front of him to search for something to clean himself off with a little. The place obviously had no running water but there was a bathroom with toilets, and when he lifted the lid off the tank of one of them, the water seemed cleanish. It was old water, but it was his only option. He dipped his hands into it and the blood swirled around through it, beginning to colour it. It was cold and a shock to his heated body. He lifted some to his face to wash off the blood along with the vomit Mailer had spit at him.

When he returned to where he'd left Mailer, the sights and smells suddenly hit him. All the blood, so much of it, and the pieces of the man he'd cut off of him...All he could do for a moment is stare at the gore in front of him.

Mailer was motionless, his body slumped in the chair, his head hanging low and slightly to the side. It didn't seem real. He expected the ex-guard to jump up suddenly, to declare he would live on to hurt them again. If it really was true, if Mailer was dead, which he appeared to be, then Zack was surprised to not feel what he had expected. He thought he'd be happy, empowered. But all he felt was sick.

Remembering that he didn't have long before daylight, he closed up the bag he'd brought in with him and left the building. It wasn't hard to not look back. He would have those images from the past hour in his mind forever. Outside he threw up before moving on his way. He didn't go to the bar, though he knew that's where he should be. He was in no condition to go at that point. He at least needed to clean up, so he headed back to his and Cloud's apartment where he made his way to the bathroom and looked upon himself in the mirror. The blood he'd washed off his hands and face was just a fraction of what he had on him. From the neck down he was splattered.

Fully clothed, he stepped into the shower, turning it on full-blast. He stood for a few minutes, watching the pink water pooling at his feet before running into the drain. He thought he would feel relieved. Mailer was gone. Better than gone. He'd gotten what he'd deserved. But he wasn't relieved. He felt just as angry as he had when he'd left the bar. He felt worse now because he still felt sick and overwhelmed in the realization of what he'd just done and how he'd let Cloud down, again. He hadn't been there for him when he needed him. He was losing control. Yelling out in frustration, he punched the tile next to him, over and over with his already bruised and split knuckles, cracking them open again to let fresh blood seep out and run down the shower wall. He hit it until the tile was busted and his hand was pulsing with hot pain. He leaned against the wall then and felt his knees get weak before he slid down to the tub floor. He lay down on his side and covered his head with his arms as the water from the shower beat down on him from above, the sound of it masking his sobs.


	26. Chapter 22

Songs: (1) Bulletproof – Kerli; (2) What's Going On – A Perfect Circle; (3) God's Gonna Cut You Down – Johnny Cash; (4) Into the Fire – Thirteen Senses; (5) Fade and Then Return – William Fitzsimmons; (6) Goodbye – theKey (found at www. /#/ search / query / theKey / without spaces); (7) Sleep Sweet – Home Video; (8) When in Rome - Humanwine

Chapter XXII

The water had turned cold before Zack had finally dragged himself out of the tub. He stripped off his soaking clothes on the bathroom floor and wrapped a towel around his waist before heading to the bedroom. Once there, he collapsed on the bed, curling up small and staring through the parting darkness of dawn at the wall. After a few minutes, he reached for his phone, turning it on. There was a message on there and he knew it was from Cloud. He held his breath while he listened to the message. The first few seconds were just the sound of breathing, then finally Cloud's voice.

_Zuh-Zack? I...I need help...I d-don't...know where...where I am..._

His voice was quiet and almost slurred. There were a few more moments of just his breathing before he had hung up and the message ended. He lowered the phone from his ear, gripping it so tightly he thought he may crush it. He was so mad at himself he thought he may scream, but he was exhausted. He needed to get back to the bar, to check on Cloud, but he couldn't make himself move. The past eight hours had felt like the longest in his life and it wasn't completely to do with all that happened with Mailer. He'd been coming down from the high he was on earlier, crashing actually and he really needed to sleep. His body didn't really give him much of a choice as he found himself waking up suddenly when his phone started ringing.

Startled, he looked around, realizing he was still lying in a towel on the bed. He reached for his phone near his side and checked the incoming number. It was Tifa. Sighing, he hit the answer button and spoke a groggy "What" into the receiver.

"Where the hell are you?" Tifa fired at him sharply, though there was clear relief in her tone. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said back simply. "How's Cloud?"

"Still asleep. I think you should be here when he wakes up," she suggested. It sounded more like an order.

"Yeah. I'll be over soon," he agreed. He wasn't going to argue. She was right, and he did want to be there.

"Good," was all she said before hanging up.

Lowering the phone once more, he got up slowly and began to get dressed. A time check told him it was 9:30 a.m. He really could have slept for another few hours but it would have to wait. In the bathroom he found his clothing from a few hours earlier lying on the floor, still damp. He hung them over the side of the tub to dry a little, though he was probably going to throw them out. He made a minimal effort to make himself look a little less like a wreck, trying to smooth his dishevelled hair with his fingers. The butt of Mailer's shotgun had left a nice bruise on the side of his face. Nothing he could do to hide it. He took some Sirex before leaving the apartment. Normally he would find it made him feel a little over-stimulated but at the moment he needed the stimulation to normalize himself. It would keep him awake at least.

When he got to the bar he found Tifa in the kitchen stirring something in a coffee mug. "So, what happened?" she asked when she saw him come in.

"Don't worry about it," he said with a shrug while heading for the stairs.

"Zack," she said he name with irritation and he paused to look back at her. Obviously something in his face told her it really wasn't the time to be asking questions because she shook her head and sighed before asking if he wanted any breakfast. He gave her a definite 'no' and went upstairs.

Cloud was still asleep in the guestroom, looking like he hadn't moved at all since Zack had left. He didn't want to wake him before he was ready so he took a seat in a chair nearby and began thinking over the events of the previous night and early morning. He'd been sitting in the chair about a half hour when Cloud began to wake. His eyes opened slowly before he'd made any movements.

"Hey," Zack said softly when Cloud looked up at him.

"Hey," his friend replied lowly, his eyes wandering over the room.

"The bar," Zack said and Cloud blinked once before nodding, as if the recognition came with that motion. He began to turn himself over, hesitating from the moment he tried to lift his upper body from the mattress. He winced in pain while turning onto his back. Zack watched with sympathy. He felt himself get angry all over again when the bruising on Cloud's bare torso and neck was revealed. It was pretty obvious now that he'd been strangled with some sort of thick strap. When Cloud seemed settled into his new position Zack spoke.

"You wanna…talk about what happened?" he asked tentatively. He saw Cloud's lips quiver a little as his brow furrowed.

"No," Cloud breathed out as his eyes misted up.

"Okay," Zack said with a slight nod. He really hadn't expected his friend to want to divulge any of the details of the night before, at least not right now. But he did need to know one thing, for Cloud's sake and his own. He needed to know the truth so he could help his friend recover from the most recent nightmare. It was such a difficult thing to ask though.

"Cloud," he began, taking a short breath and swallowing past the lump in his throat. "Did he...did Mailer...did he ra—"

"No," Cloud said definitively before Zack could finally get the word out. It surprised Zack. Before that moment he'd been positive that Mailer had done that awful thing to Cloud. Mailer had all but admitted it straight up. Could he have been lying? Maybe. Was Cloud lying?

Truth was, Cloud wasn't sure what to call what had happened, but he preferred to think of it as a close call. He really couldn't accept it as anything else. He couldn't use that terrifying word. Couldn't allow himself to even consider it. What had happened was just something that could have been a lot worse if it had been allowed to continue even a second longer. He was sore, he couldn't deny that, but the pain was nothing like it could have been. He had memories to remind him of that.

Not completely satisfied with Cloud's answer, Zack asked one more question. "Did he try?"

Cloud just stared back at him, his eyes lowering after a few moments.

Taking another deep breath and letting it out slow, Zack nodded and reached into his one pocket, taking Cloud's phone from it. "You never have to worry about him coming after you again, Spike. He's never going to touch you again," he said as he set the phone down on the side table next to the bed. Cloud's eyes watched Zack's hand the whole time. He could see Zack's knuckles were bruised and cut up. Pairing that with the light bruising on his face and there was only one conclusion. Zack had found Mailer and killed him. A part of Cloud really was relieved but he was also concerned. Zack had _killed_. He'd killed before, many times. Cloud had seen it happen right in front of him. But it was different this time somehow. It was really like...murder.

Unsure of how he should respond, he said what he'd been thinking when he'd first woke up, before he'd remembered what had happened. "I need to use the bathroom."

He found it difficult to stand long enough to fully empty his bladder and even more difficult to shower. He was a little shocked at how much pain he was feeling. Most of it was in his head and lower back. Surprisingly, his arm didn't hurt much at all. He had barely been able to keep it together in the bedroom when Zack was questioning him. Now, as he was washing away remnants of the last night's trauma, the blood from his injuries, he found himself crying. He was only now able to think clearly about what had happened and it weighed on him like a brick house. Zack had been right. He should never have started working on the plate. Had he not been able to fight his way out of Mailer's apartment he would have still been there, or on his way back to the mansion.

He'd calmed himself again before he'd finished showering. Zack had waited for him in the hall and helped him back to the bedroom where he passed him a pair of clean boxers he'd brought from home. Cloud took them and looked at Zack a little expectantly.

"I brought you a shirt and pants too, but I figured you'd wanna leave them off for now if you're just going to be resting and having to deal with changing bandages," Zack explained.

"Resting..." Cloud echoed. "Here?"

"Yeah," Zack confirmed. "Just for one more night," he added.

"Why?" Cloud questioned. He just wanted to go home.

"Because, Spike, you can barely walk right now," Zack reasoned. "I just want you to relax, alright."

Slowly, Cloud lowered himself to the bed. "You're leaving, aren't you?" he asked softly.

Zack didn't know what to say. He didn't want to lie. Yes, he was going to leave to go back to the apartment, but that wasn't really what Cloud was asking. Cloud knew as well as he did that this thing wasn't over yet. With no words to explain himself, Zack disregarded his question with a smile.

"You need to take your meds," he said lightly. "And I'll change your bandages before I go," he offered.

Cloud immediately wanted to respond with "No." He felt something hinging between panic and anger. Zack had been the last person he saw before passing out in Tifa's guest room and he'd been the first person he'd seen when he'd woken up and in between the time felt non-existent. He felt as though he'd just been running from Mailer's apartment minutes before. For those hours he'd been trapped by Mailer he'd been terrified. Zack was the only one who made him feel reassured and safe and now he was going to leave. He didn't tell Zack 'no' though. He just sat there and allowed him to care for him.

Once Zack left, he lay in bed until he managed to fall asleep again. He woke a few times to see Tifa had left food for him but he couldn't will himself to eat it. In fact, he couldn't will himself to do much of anything. He never left the bed. He hardly moved except for shifting or turning over a few times. Zack didn't come back to the bar that night and he didn't hear anything from him, though he did wake up sometime in the evening and could hear Tifa on the phone somewhere just outside the room. He suspected it was Zack. She was speaking in a quiet but obviously annoyed voice. The call didn't last long and afterward Tifa opened the door and poked her head in.

"Cloud?" she spoke tentatively, not sure if he was awake. He was lying on his stomach with his head turned so she couldn't see his face. She said his name once more and he made a small sound in acknowledgement. "Your bandages need changed," she said softly, pushing the door open a little wider.

"I'll do it," he mumbled without moving. Tifa was hesitant on how to respond. She had a feeling that he wouldn't actually do it, but she didn't want to push her luck with him either. The only person he seemed to want to see right now was Zack.

"Okay," she agreed finally. She looked at the rolls of bandage and tape in her hand before entering the room and heading to the side table where she set the rolls down. "They're just…right here," she said, looking at his head, turned in the opposite direction. She waited for a nod or a response but didn't get one. Reluctantly she left the room, pulling the door closed slightly, leaving it open a few inches.

As she headed back down to the bar she didn't know what to think. She wished she knew more about what had happened to Cloud the night before, and further who the person was who had hurt him. Both Zack and Cloud seemed to know him well and she could only assume it was someone from the mansion, someone who'd hurt them both before, and from the way Zack was acting, it must have been truly terrible for them. Still, she couldn't help being angry with Zack. Cloud really needed him at the moment.

000

Zack checked his phone for the millionth time as he was huddled in the darkness of a loft overlooking the main floor of the warehouse building he'd been waiting in for about a half hour. It was almost midnight. His stomach was unsettled with nervousness, though he wasn't really sure why. Surprising and taking out three people really shouldn't be a difficult thing for him to do, especially armed. It had been an intense twenty-four hours though and he just wanted it over.

After he'd left the bar that morning he'd gone back to the apartment and slept for another few hours. When he'd woken he had a clearer mind and knew what he needed to do. He still had Mailer's cell phone so he scanned through his contact list hoping his memory wouldn't fail him. Mailer had mentioned some of the other guards had wanted to be involved in the re-capture and return of Cloud, and possibly him, to Hojo. A few of them had to be the ones who'd participated in Cloud's past assault. Back in the mansion he'd promised himself he'd kill them one day. Now he had the chance. He had made a point of checking their nametags while there, but he couldn't remember them exactly. He'd hoped he'd recognize them and fortunately he did, though only three of the four were in Mailer's contact list. None of the other names looked familiar at all. Three was better than nothing. He'd sent a text to each one separately, writing as Mailer, telling them he'd captured Cloud and that they should meet him at midnight in one of the abandoned industrial districts of the slums. It wasn't far from where Mailer's body was. He wrote that he would send the exact address later as he still needed to go down there and figure out the best place to wait for them.

He'd received texts back from all of them, saying they'd be there. That gave him several hours to prepare. He wasn't going to be empty-handed either. This time he'd have his buster sword. He'd spent most of the day cleaning it up and sharpening it. It was in desperate need of attention as it still hadn't been really handled since that battle he'd had outside Midgar that had nearly taken his life. He'd tried not to think about that fight. He'd tried not to think about the past at all. He felt sometimes that's all he had. Memories to dwell on. He couldn't see any real future ahead of him, at least not right then.

With his sword prepped, he'd searched out the perfect location for his mission that evening, an old empty warehouse, and texted the ex-guards the address. He'd spent a few hours practicing with his sword in the warehouse before finally taking up his current position in a loft overlooking the main floor of the building. There was nothing else to do but wait.

The first ex-guard arrived just before midnight. The name Zack remembered he wore on his uniform was _Furrow_. The other two, _Gaines _and _Peters _arrived almost at the same time about five minutes after twelve. They stood there a moment, looking at each other before Peters spoke.

"Well? Where the hell is Mailer?" he asked.

Unlike his encounter with Mailer, Zack wanted to dispose of these three men as fast as possible. He didn't want to talk to them, he just wanted them dead. Then there would be three less people after them and three more of the many people who had hurt him and Cloud would be gone forever.

Leaving his hiding spot, he jumped down from the loft, his hand already holding his sword, ready to swing. He obviously surprised the three ex-guards and immediately they knew they'd been led into a trap. Zack swung at Peters, the closest to him. The man ducked though and missed that first swing. Zack sent a second his way and he jumped back but the tip caught him across his chest. Zack sent a hard kick into Peters to put him down on the ground before turning to see Gaines and Furrow had turned and were attempted to retreat to the other end of the building. He wasn't worried about Peters getting very far at the moment so he decided to go after the others.

Before he could take a step, pain erupted in the side of his leg suddenly and he cried out, his knee failing him and bringing him down to the floor. He looked down at the knife planted in the side of his right calf. He glanced at Peters on the floor before gripping the handle of the knife and pulling it from his flesh with a grunt. He pushed himself to a stand and pitched the knife towards Gaines and Furrow. It hit Furrow in the back, bringing him down but Gaines was still running. In one swift motion he pierced Peters in his lower back with the end of his sword and swept the blade upwards fast, slicing all the way up his back. He screamed out in agony while Zack withdrew the blade and went after the other two ex-guards. He pushed aside the pain he was feeling and approached Furrow fast. The man had managed to turn himself over and was trying to sit up when Zack reached him. He lifted his sword and swung hard, the blade connecting with the flesh at the base of Furrow's neck. The man barely had enough time to pull a terrified look to his face before his head was severed from his body.

Gaines was nowhere in sight but Zack kept after him, There was a set of heavy sliding metal doors leading into another section of the building. The one door was just slightly open so he assumed that's where Gaines had run. He slowed his pace and tried to approach cautiously but he was feeling a suffocating urgency to catch up with and kill Gaines as quickly as possible. He wanted it all over and he certainly couldn't let the man find his way out of the building outside where he may lose him altogether. When he entered the next section of the building he didn't see the man. He slowed his steps and scanned the area while he began making his way through what looked to be a docking area. He strained his ears hard for any indication of where the ex-guard could be hiding. He stopped at the last loading dock. It looked as though someone had tried to open the door at the end. It had been wrenched up about a foot and a cinderblock was shoved under it, to hold it open.

"Damn it," he spoke aloud. It was a little hard to believe Gaines was able to fit through the small gap but he must have made it out.

There was a noise suddenly, like a rattling chain. It was coming from above. He turned his head upward to see what looked like a huge metal hook on the end of a chain falling toward him fast. It was too late for him to move. He lowered his head and tried to pivot out of the way but the hook hit him hard on the back of his left shoulder, making him cry out and sending him to the concrete floor. His sword fell from his hand on the way down. The weight of the hook had been crushing and the pain that erupted from his shoulder and back immediately had him imagining something had been broken. It wasn't impossible for him and Cloud to break bones. Their bones sometimes seemed unbreakable as a result of the experiments but a hard enough hit could do it.

The hook had slid away from him when he fell but as he was lying on the floor some of the length of chain it was attached to continued to hammer into him until it must have reached its end. He struggled to pull himself out from under it using just his right arm. He couldn't feel much in his left arm but an intense pins and needles feeling in his hand. Slowly, he was able to free himself of the chain but it was then he could hear the thudding of shoes as someone was running toward him. He knew it to be Gaines and pushed himself to his knees, reaching for his sword a few feet away. Before he could reach it, something hard hit him against his upper back and his now injured shoulder, making him buckle forward and call out again in pain. Forced onto his stomach again, the object hit him again on his upper back. He rolled slightly on his left side, trying to get his shoulder out of the line of attack and was then able to see what it was that Gaines was hitting him with, some sort of lead pipe. It was thick, a few inches in diameter. Gaines was holding it like an ax handle, raising it high and bringing it down toward him. He put his right arm up to cover his face and the pipe hit him in the side of his rib cage.

Unlike the hook, he was at least sure the pipe wasn't going to break anything, but the impact still hurt and he sure didn't want to be beaten with it for much longer. As Gaines was bringing the pipe down again, he reached out fast and managed to catch hold of it in his right hand. He kept his hand closed tight around it as the man tried to wrench it away. After a few moments his grip slipped and he lost hold on it. Before Zack had a chance to use it, the man kicked him hard in his gut making him choke on his breath. The pipe fell from his grasp as he reached to clutch his stomach and it rolled away down the dock. The hit had brought tears to his eyes so his vision was blurred as he looked at Gaines and tried to see what it was he was reaching for at his belt. The man stepped over him and a second later there was something being wrapped around his neck and whatever it was it was beginning to strangle him. It made him think of Cloud, how Mailer had choked him with something and he realized suddenly how terrified he must have been because right now he was feeling just that.

There was instant panic running through him as he struggled to take in air past the constriction. His hands were at his neck, trying to wedge his fingers between his skin and whatever was pressing into it, but he realized fast that it was impossible. Gaines was using wire to strangle him and it was cutting into his skin, blood already present. He couldn't feel it through his gloves but he could see it running into the material of his shirt. He tried to push himself up but Gaines was holding him down.

_I'm stronger_, he told himself. _I have to be_. Groaning and straining his muscles hard, he began to force Gaines back. Despite the man's best efforts to hold him down, Zack managed to force them back, Gaines falling backward onto the floor. Zack was on top of him. It was a better position because he now had the ability to throw his elbow back into Gaines. One good hit was all it took for him to loosen his hold on the wire. Zack grabbed Gaines' one hand and squeezed his fingers hard, hoping to at least cause some discomfort. The man's joints cracked and he cried out, letting go of the wire altogether. Surprisingly, Gaines pulled himself out from under him then. Zack reached for the wire at his neck, heaving in air and wincing at the feeling of pulling the metal from where it now seemed imbedded in his flesh. His neck was covered in blood.

It took him a moment to realize Gaines was going for his buster sword. He watched the man clutch onto the hilt and attempt to raise it. The ex-guard seemed shocked at the weight of it. He was able to lift it but Zack seriously doubted he'd be able to use it. If he thought he could muster the energy to laugh he would have. He needed the energy for something more important. He needed to take the man down. He pulled himself to his feet as Gaines was readjusting his grip on the hilt of the sword, his back turned on him. Holding it tightly in both hands he began to lift it, like a sledgehammer. Zack was close behind him as he called out with exertion, turning and swinging the blade over his head, aiming to bring it down on Zack from above. Zack saw the blade coming at him and raised his right arm fast, more out of reflex than anything. He stopped the blade just above his head, the edge landing in the palm of his gloved hand.

He looked Gaines in the eyes. The man certainly hadn't expected that. Without giving him any more time to react, he released his hold on the blade to punch the man hard in the side of his face. He dropped the sword and fell to the floor. In an instant, Zack had scooped his sword back up in his own hand and planted it in Gaines' stomach. He held the blade in place, watching as Gaines sputtered on the blood that was filling his mouth.

It was over. For now, it was over. He breathed deeply as he removed his sword from Gaines body and looked around. He had a problem, one he hadn't given any thought to when he killed Mailer. There were traces of his own blood in several places in this warehouse and actually, he'd left some behind in the other where he'd left Mailer. He'd busted open the skin on his knuckles at the other warehouse and had no doubt left some of his blood behind. It wouldn't be as obvious as here though. Here he had acquired some serious wounds that were bleeding out pretty freely. If samples were taken by police they would show a dead man committed the crimes. That wasn't what really worried him. What worried him was if Hojo or the Turks still out to get him and Cloud found out. He cursed himself for not thinking of that when he killed Mailer.

He couldn't do anything to fix the situation where the other warehouse was concerned but he could try and do something here. He ripped away a strip of material from the undershirt he had on and wrapped it around the wound in his leg. It was difficult to do with basically one hand. The feeling wasn't returning to his left arm and it was difficult for him to even lift it. He felt around his shoulder with his right hand but it didn't feel like anything was broken. It was difficult to tell. All he knew for sure was it hurt like nothing he'd felt since leaving the mansion. The pain made him feel like he may be sick but he pushed on despite it.

He began a search of the building for something to use on the blood he'd lost on the floor. There wasn't much around but he did come across some cans of paint and some paint stripper. He didn't know whether paint would do much but the thinner was his best bet. He poured it over as much of his own blood as he could find, though there was a high probability he'd missed a drop or two. He just hoped he'd managed to get all that was obvious. After a quick check to make sure no one was still breathing, he left the warehouse and headed back to the apartment.

By the time he made it home, he found it difficult to ascend the stairs to the apartment, gripping the railing and straining his arm muscles to pull his body upward. The crude bandage on his leg had soaked through with blood and he realized he'd been trailing the blood behind him. He dripped and limped his way across the apartment to the bathroom, dropping his sword on the way. He rummaged under the sink for the first aid kit he'd put together when he and Cloud first moved in. There wasn't much in it, just some alcohol, some bandages, tape and needles and thread in the case that stitching was needed. He took a quick look in the mirror at the wound on his neck. It wasn't as deep as he feared. There wouldn't be much he could do with it besides clean it up. It seemed to have stopped bleeding awhile ago.

After a brief struggle to remove his boots and pants, the mock bandage coming off in the process, he sat on the edge of the bathtub and set to opening the bottle of alcohol. His hands were shaking so much he had a hard time getting the cap off and he almost dropped the bottle. He did drop the cap and it rolled away from him toward the door. He poured some of the alcohol onto a washcloth and pressed it against the wound in his leg. It stung harshly but he kept the cloth in place and wiped away some of the blood with it. He could see then that the wound unfortunately needed to be stitched. He wasn't excited about giving himself stitches and he had his doubts he'd even be able to. He only had one good hand to work with at the moment and he was shaking just as much as he had been the night before when he'd tried to give aid to Cloud. He'd have to try at least.

It took a minute just to thread the damn needle and he took a deep breath before beginning to push the needle through his skin. He ground his teeth together and groaned at the pain, wanting to look away but knowing he didn't have that option. The entire process took far longer than he wished it would have but he did succeed in closing the wound. He was panting and sweating heavily at the end of it. He tried to calm himself but he couldn't begin to relax his tense body until he was standing under the spray of water in the shower. Some of the feeling started coming back slowly into his left arm. His wrists and hands were sore from trying to maneuver his sword. His technique really had deteriorated. He was going to have to make an effort to get in more practice, though he wasn't sure when that would happen. Right now, all he wanted was two things: sleep and Sirex.

He knew if he took the Sirex on its own it would probably keep him from sleeping so he needed to take it with something, like alcohol. There wasn't any alcohol in the apartment so, despite the fact he had a hard time walking, he left home for the nearest retailer a couple blocks away. He wasn't exactly sure on how to mix the two substances. He thought about just swallowing the pills with the alcohol but decided to crush them instead and stir them into the drink. He swallowed it down quickly and came to rest on the couch, watching the television mindlessly while he waited to feel the comfort he'd come to associate with the drug. He hadn't bothered to clean up the blood he'd trailed across the floor earlier, or any of the mess he'd left in the bathroom. He also didn't bother to look at his cell phone that was lying amongst his discarded clothing lying on the bathroom floor. He knew there were probably missed calls and messages from Tifa but he really couldn't stand the thought of having to converse with her. His last conscious thought was that he hoped Cloud was resting alright.

000

At eight that morning, Tifa left her room and headed down to the guest room to check on Cloud. She knocked lightly before easing the door open. She didn't immediately see Cloud, but she could see he was still in the bed. The blankets were drawn up over his head. Her eyes moved to the nightstand where the bandaging and tape sat. She couldn't say for sure but she was almost positive they hadn't been touched since she put them there. She felt herself getting angry. This wasn't the Cloud she grew up with, the one she used to know. He wouldn't be curled up hiding from the world, refusing to eat or get up or persist despite being beaten down.

She moved toward the side of the bed fast, ready to grab for the blankets and pull them away. Her mouth opened as she prepared to unleash a tough pep-talk. But before she did any of that, something stopped her. She couldn't force this. Whatever had been done to him the night before and in the years before must have been awful, and nothing Cloud had dealt with in their past as children could compare to it. Further, Cloud couldn't remember his childhood. He wasn't that person anymore. He wasn't the little boy she had grown to care about so much. He was a young man with a four-year span of memory that consisted of nothing but terror. Quietly, she backed away from the bed and left the room.

Cloud let out a slow breath when he heard her leave. He'd known she was there. He'd been lying awake before she'd even knocked on the door, but he didn't want to talk to her. He wished he weren't even there. He'd rather have been at the apartment. Hesitantly, he pushed the blankets down over his head, letting in a rush of cool air. He stretched out his legs slowly, some of his joints cracking and reached a hand up to his arm. No doubt Tifa had noticed he hadn't used the bandages she'd left behind. Setting aside the fact he didn't care enough to tend his wounds, he didn't feel it necessary. He could feel the wounds healing quickly with the aid of the mako in his bloodstream. Any infection he may get or have gotten would be suffocated by the ample amount of mako within him. Oddly, bruises didn't seem to heal as fast as expected. It still took a few days and therefore his face and several places on his body were still quite sore.

He did drag himself up once to empty his bladder again but was back in the bed almost immediately. Somehow the fact he had slept so much the past night and day before made it easy for him to sleep more. He wanted to sleep forever. He didn't want to think about what was going to happen next. His next few hours of sleep brought nightmares of his brief captivity in Mailer's home as well as his longer captivity in the mansion. When he woke next he found he had company. He thought at first Tifa had come to try and urge some more food upon him but when he opened his eyes he found those of a little girl's looking back at him. It was that girl who'd been at the bar on his birthday.

"Hi, Cloud," she said with a bright smile.

"Hi," he replied quietly.

"Tifa said you weren't feeling well," she said next. "Are you sick?" she asked with a look of genuine concern.

"Uh…" he began to answer, pausing to sit himself up slowly, resting his bare shoulders against the headboard. "Sort of," he finished. He watched as she climbed up to kneel on the bed next to his one leg.

"I hate being sick," she commented before her attention was turned to his arm. "Oh! What happened?" she asked with surprise, pointing. He really didn't know how to answer that. It probably wasn't a good idea to tell her he'd been shot.

"Just an accident," he returned.

"Does it hurt?" she inquired.

"A little," he admitted truthfully.

"Does that one hurt?" she asked next, sliding herself forward a little and pointing to a bruised spot on his right side over his ribs.

"Not much," he answered.

"That one?" she continued, pointing at one of the 'U' shaped bruises on his forearm. This time the tip of her finger touched his skin lightly.

"Nope."

She hummed a little in thought before lifting herself on her knees and leaning forward to poke the bandage she'd just noticed at his temple. It was partially hidden by his hair. When she touched it he winced, a spark of pain running through the area as he hissed in a little air through his teeth. The girl drew her hand back fast and Cloud put his own hand up to touch the bandaged area tentatively.

"Yeah, that one hurts," he agreed. The girl looked back at him shamefully.

"Sorry," she said just above a whisper.

"It's okay," he assured her, forcing a bit of a smile to make her feel better.

"What kind of accident did you have?" she asked after a moment and he struggled to come up with something. "Was it like a car accident?" she probed further.

"Um…" he started to respond but he heard footsteps approaching the half-open door and a second later Tifa was in the doorway.

"There you are!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing in here, Marlene? I told you not to bother him," she scolded.

"It's okay," Cloud spoke up. "She wasn't," he added and Marlene tossed a wide smile his way.

"Yeah, well, come on, your lunch is downstairs," Tifa ordered her. Donning a brief disappointed expression, Marlene climbed off the bed and began to make her way over to Tifa. She glanced back a moment and smiled again.

"I hope you feel better, Cloud," she said and then added a shy "Bye."

"Bye," he said in return.

"Go on ahead, I'll be down in a minute," Tifa said to her when she'd reached the door. She nodded and disappeared into the hall.

"Sorry," Tifa spoke when she was gone. "She has no sense of—"

"It's alright, really," Cloud interrupted and she nodded, smiling lightly. She took a few steps toward the bed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked hesitantly.

"Okay," he answered simply.

"Are you hungry, you haven't eaten anything in over a day," she pointed out.

"Not really. But thanks," he said, looking down. After a moment he added. "Zack's not here."

"No," she confirmed. "I don't know where he's been."

"I do." He knew that Mailer's death hadn't been enough for Zack. He suspected he was trying to track down the others in Mailer's 'crew' from the mansion. Four others had been involved in the simulated attack on him and Zack in the mansion, only one of which had forgone the chance to sexually assault him. He doubted that would make a difference to Zack. That guard had been the one to stand by his friend the whole time, forcing him to watch the assault.

"You think he's alright?" Tifa inquired softly. "He's not answering his phone," she explained.

Cloud thought about it then nodded. "He's fine," he concluded, even though he really didn't know.

When Tifa had left the room he tried to call him, thinking that maybe Zack just wasn't taking Tifa's calls, but his friend didn't answer for him either. He really didn't know if he should be worried or not. He didn't know what to feel at all at that moment but by the mid-afternoon he was starting to feel beyond restless. He'd finally gotten hungry at dinner and had accepted the soup Tifa offered. He'd taken another shower, but he felt unable to sleep anymore. Marlene came back to visit him after dinner, practically sneaking into the room. Tifa was busy down in the bar so it took her awhile to realize, which led to Cloud playing Go Fish with her for about an hour.

It was just after nine when Tifa removed the little girl from the room for a second time so she could put her to bed. Not long after, Cloud's cell rang next to him on the side table. When he picked it up he could see it was Zack.

"Hello," he answered after one more ring.

"Hey, Spike," Zack spoke back, his voice sounding tired. "How're you feeling?" he asked.

"Alright, I guess," Cloud answered. "Are you on your way to Tifa's?" he dared to ask, though he doubted that's what Zack was doing.

"Uh, no," his friend replied. "I—"

"When are you coming?" Cloud asked before he could finish.

"I, um..." Zack began but seemed unable to complete his thought. Cloud found himself fighting back a sudden rise of emotion, tears building in his eyes.

"I wanna go home, Zack," he said quietly, his voice shaking a little. There was a brief silence before Zack spoke again.

"Okay, buddy, I'm—I'll be there in the morn—"

"No," Cloud said quickly, cutting him off. "Tonight, Zack, please?"

"Alright," Zack seemed to say a little hesitantly. "Just wait 'till I get there, alright?" he said.

"Alright," Cloud agreed.

Though Zack hadn't exactly sounded sure on the phone, Cloud didn't think for a minute he wouldn't show up. Midnight rolled around and there was no sign of him. He tried calling Zack's cell but it went straight to voicemail. At two in the morning Cloud decided Zack wasn't coming. Now too tired to go anywhere, he decided to just go to sleep.

Up on the plate, Zack listened to the sound of Rayna washing her face in the bathroom. She'd just come back from the club. He'd been at Rayna's most of the day and the entire evening. When he'd called Cloud earlier to check on him and his friend had told him he wanted to go home that night he really had tried to make himself leave Rayna's apartment and go back to slums but he couldn't do it. Despite the pain he was still in, he felt stuck. He felt like a mess. Cloud needed to be around someone stable and Tifa was about the most stable person he knew. Right now, stable was the last thing Zack felt.

Earlier in the day, he'd woken to a great deal of pain in his left shoulder. The feeling had found its way back fully into his arm and it was agony. His leg hadn't felt a whole lot better either when he'd tried to stand on it. He'd hoped to get a look at his back but he couldn't lift his arm to get his shirt off. He wanted to zap the pain fast. He didn't know if Sirex would do that but he was willing to take the chance. He'd left the pills on the counter the night before. He'd forced his way over to the kitchen and took two, dumping the rest into his pocket and dropping the empty bottle to the floor. He swallowed the pills down with a gulp of alcohol. He would need more soon if he was going to be taking two at a time. He had told himself that was the only reason he went to her.

When he showed up at Rayna's, he could tell she was surprised. She had looked at him with genuine concern, noticing the markings on his neck and immediately inquiring as to what happened. He hadn't told her much of anything, just that he'd been in a fight. He'd told her he was just there for Sirex but she said she didn't have any at the apartment so he'd have to wait. She'd noticed how much pain he was in and had helped him take off his shirt to see his back. His shoulder was heavily swollen, the area dark with bruising. He'd cried in front of her, partly from the pain of his injuries, partly from the mental panic he still felt. Even though Mailer and those few other guards were gone, he felt even more overwhelmed than he had before. He'd felt ground down by his pent-up emotions and entirely guilt-ridden for what had happened to Cloud. It had taken him awhile to calm down again but by the time Rayna left for Scorch's club, he'd been lying in her bed, groggy from some pain killers she'd fed him after his call to Cloud and with an icepack on the back of his shoulder. He'd fallen asleep just after Rayna left, not waking again until she returned. His last thoughts had been that Cloud was waiting on him at Tifa's and he was about to let him down one more time.

Now, still resting in Rayna's bed and listening to the water running in the bathroom, he felt a little better, a little less in agony, but like he couldn't leave Rayna's apartment at that point even if he tried.

000

When Cloud opened his eyes later that morning, he'd half-hoped to find Zack sitting in the chair nearby. He didn't want to believe Zack would forget about him or, worse, have deliberately lied to him. He couldn't very well ignore the truth though, as angry and confused as it made him feel. He knew he had to do something. He wasn't going to sit around and wait for him. It was becoming overwhelmingly difficult trying to keep his cool at Tifa's. He was going home. It was the only thought going through his mind as he started to dress himself.

Downstairs, Tifa was going over her inventory when she heard a knock at the front door. She looked up and saw someone she certainly wasn't expecting. It was Aerith. She hesitated a moment before heading over to the door to unlock it and let her in.

"Aerith," she greeted a little uneasily. "How are you?" she asked.

"I'm alright," Aerith said with a small smile. "But there's something I have to talk to you about," she added a little nervously.

"Okay, come on in," Tifa replied. "Sit down. Can I get you anything? Tea?"

"Uh, sure, that'd be nice," Aerith spoke with a nod as she sat down at one of the tables nearby.

Tifa retrieved the teapot and two cups from behind the bar. "What did you need to talk about?" she asked when she was sitting across from Aerith and they both had tea in front of them.

"There's something I have to tell you," she began softly. "I should have told you sooner—well I wanted to. I thought of you, of how you should know but he made me promise not to tell anyone. Not even my mother."

"Um, what are you talking about?" Tifa said with a slight laugh, shaking her head. She had some idea though. She was able to anticipate what Aerith was about to tell her.

"Well I—" she started to say but paused. "It was a few weeks back now. I went to visit Zack's grave, like I have every week since...you know. But that one night, something was different. Someone else was there," she explained. "I looked up and, and there he was. It was Zack! He was really there. He came back!" Tifa looked back at her straight, not sure if she should fake a surprised expression. "He's alive, Tifa," Aerith said and then added, "But that's not all. Cloud's alive too—or at least that's what Zack says. I haven't seen him. I just...I hope you aren't angry I didn't tell you the moment I knew. I really wanted to, but Zack—"

"It's alright, Aerith," Tifa responded with a smile. "I knew."

An expression of confusion came over Aerith's face before Tifa saw her attention turn to the doorway that led to the back rooms of the building. She turned to see what Aerith was looking at and could see Cloud coming through the door. He stopped when he set eyes on Aerith. He recognized her from the church and he could tell she recognized him also.

"You," she spoke softly but Tifa was speaking at the same time.

"Cloud, are you alright?" she asked and Aerith looked at her with surprise before turning her eyes his way again.

"Cloud?" she said, rising from her chair slowly.

Cloud watched her come toward him. He didn't know what to say. Obviously, she was going to bring up the church.

"Did you know?" she began.

"I didn't know it was your church," he answered her quietly.

"But you knew who I was?" she asked next and he gave a slight nod. She closed the space between them suddenly and it shocked him, not knowing what she was doing. Then her arms were around him and she was hugging him. "I'm so happy I'm finally meeting you," she said close to his ear. He stood with his arms at his side, glancing once at Tifa before Aerith pulled away again. She had an expression of deep concern then. "What happened?" she asked.

"What?" he replied, shaking his head slowly.

"Something terrible just happened to you," she clarified. There was no question in her tone. It was a statement. Cloud was at a loss for words again. When he said nothing she continued with another question. "Is Zack okay?" There were tears instantly forming in her eyes. She seemed scared suddenly. "He hasn't been answering his phone—" she added.

"He's okay," Cloud said fast. His arm was suddenly throbbing. He hadn't had much pain in it since the wound had been closed up but it hurt now, maybe because he'd been lying immobile most of the time up until now. He was clutching his left arm with his right hand before he'd realized it. Tifa noticed immediately and moved toward him.

"Sit down," she suggested. "I'll get you something for the pain."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I'm going home," he declared quietly but firmly.

"What?" Tifa spoke in shock. "Cloud you can't just—" she began to protest but he stopped her.

"Thank you, Tifa, for everything, but I just really want to be at home right now," he said definitively.

"You can't just go alone," she said in a lower voice, almost whispering. "Please, just wait for Zack." She looked for the acceptance in his expression but he wasn't giving in. "Please," she begged and he released a long breath, nodding once as he turned for the door to the back. "Thank you," Tifa said gratefully, watching him disappear before turning her attention back to Aerith.

"What happened?" Aerith asked again.

Tifa inhaled deeply before answering. "I assume Zack told you where he and Cloud have been for all this time?" Aerith nodded. "Well I think someone they knew from the mansion came after Cloud. The other night I got a call from him from the plate. He sounded bad. When I went up to look for him I found him in an alleyway. He'd been beat up, shot and drugged. Zack seemed to know who did it but he wouldn't tell me anything about the person. I think he went after him though." She could see the fear return to Aerith's face and she tried to reassure her. "He's fine though, I think. He's been calling, checking on Cloud. But I'm not really sure where he is."

Aerith shook her head. "God, I'm so worried about him. I wish he'd talk to me," she said sadly.

"What happened?" Tifa asked.

"Tseng—well, not just him really," Aerith answered with a sigh.

"Zack said he saw you two together when he finally went to see you after having come back to the city," Tifa revealed softly. "I told him it couldn't be what it looked like," she added and Aerith nodded slightly. "It's not, right?" Tifa asked a little uneasily next.

"No!" Aerith said fast. "Tseng's just my friend. Or was. I don't know." Tifa looked at her expectantly. "Zack told me of his involvement in his and Cloud's imprisonment, and I was really truly angry with Tseng, but...he came to apologize. And he's a Turk. Going against his orders would have had consequences..."

"Well, no offence, but it sounds a little like you're trying to justify what he did, and I don't know that you actually know what he did," Tifa pointed out.

"No," she agreed. "I don't." She sighed again before putting her head in her hands. "I just wish Zack would talk to me. I have the feeling Tseng's probably not the only reason he hasn't spoken to me in about two weeks."

"What are you talking about?" Tifa asked.

"Well, about a year after the announcement of Zack's death, something, um, happened between me and one of his good friends," she explained uneasily.

Tifa caught on pretty quickly to what she was talking about. "Oh no," she groaned.

"I know!" Aerith spoke back quickly. "It shouldn't have happened, but it did."

"This friend wouldn't happen to be a SOLDIER named Kunsel would it?" Tifa asked, remembering her brief meeting with the man.

"You know him?" Aerith questioned with surprise.

"Sort of. Zack brought him here one night."

Nodding, Aerith said in realization "That must have been when he told Zack about what happened. But Zack never said anything to me. He didn't tell me he knew. I feel like an idiot for not saying anything."

"Well, he can't very well hold it against you," Tifa suggested. "You thought he was gone forever."

"That's just it," Aerith countered. "I'm not sure I ever felt like he was actually gone. I felt in my heart he was alive and I made the mistake anyway."

"But that's all it was," Tifa argued. "A mistake. Trust me, Zack loves you, he's just dealing with some things right now. He'll contact you again when he's ready."

All Aerith could do is nod hopefully.

After Aerith had left the bar, Tifa went upstairs to check on Cloud but she found the guestroom empty. After a quick look in the bathroom she realized he must have left the bar through the back door of the building. She really should have seen it coming.

000

There was only a tiny part of Cloud that felt bad for going against Tifa's wishes that he stay at the bar a little longer and wait for Zack. He may not have had a problem with that if he had any idea when it was Zack was planning on showing up. Still, lying around there had started to make him anxious. If he was going to be forced to rest and face what had happened, he wanted to do it at home.

When he reached the apartment he stopped at the bottom of the stairs outside. There was a blood trail leading upwards. The blood was dry. He was immediately scared at the thought Zack had been injured. He ascended the stairs as quickly as he could in his sore state and made his way inside. The door wasn't locked so he assumed Zack was home. He called out to him when he entered but there was no answer from his friend. There was more dried blood on the floor in the living room leading to the bathroom where he could see some of Zack's clothes lying on the floor along with a piece of material he must have used as a bandage. It had been soaked through with blood but looked to have been lying there for at least a day. The first aid kit was out and lying on the floor and a bloodied needle was sitting on the edge of the sink. Zack must have managed to stitch closed whatever wound he'd gotten. He searched the clothes on the floor and found the hole in Zack's pants where the injury must have been. It was in the side of his right calf.

Leaving the bathroom, he made his way to the bedroom, looking in to confirm Zack wasn't in the apartment at all. It was strange he hadn't bothered to lock the apartment door. When he scanned the living room and kitchen with his eyes he noticed a half empty bottle of alcohol open on the counter. The cap was missing, but there was a larger cap next to it. It looked to be from a pill container, but the container itself wasn't anywhere on the counter. He looked around briefly, and found the container on the floor at the base of the counter, hidden slightly from view in a recess.

He bent to pick it up, breathing through the discomfort in his torso from his injuries and retrieved the bottle. There was no label on it but it was empty. He wondered though, if it had contained the pills he found a few weeks back. The ones Zack said he would get rid of. He was ready at that point to accept the fact Zack was taking some sort of drug. He'd seen the signs for a few weeks but he hadn't wanted to think about it. He didn't want to believe that the stresses Zack had to deal with had forced him to cope by using drugs. He had a feeling though that it was partly Hojo's fault, if not his complete fault. Zack had told him they'd been drugged pretty heavily towards the end of their captivity but it was something he hadn't yet remembered.

He didn't know what to do as he stood there in the kitchen. Really the only thing he could do is call Zack and hope he would answer, so that's what he did. He took his phone from his pocket and dialled but immediately he got voicemail. Dejected, he closed the phone and reached to put it back in his pocket. Before he could do so, it rang. For a second he thought it was Zack, that he'd probably just been trying to call him at the same time and that's why he got his voicemail like the phone was off. But it was Tifa, and he had a pretty good idea already what she had to say to him. He really didn't want to answer, but he thought if he didn't that she may show up at the apartment, which was the last thing he wanted right now. He answered after a few rings.

"Where are you?" she asked him with a hint of annoyance but her tone sounded mostly concerned. "Are you at the apartment?" she asked.

"Yeah," he admitted. "I'm sorry I left like that but I couldn't stay there any longer."

"I understand," Tifa replied gently. "But I really think you should have someone nearby, just in case. Is Zack there at least?" she inquired.

He didn't want to lie to her, but he knew the truth wasn't going to get him what he needed right now. "Yeah," he answered simply.

"He is?" she spoke in surprise. "Well can I talk to him?" she asked next.

"Uh..." Cloud looked around a moment. "No, he's in the shower right now. "I gotta go, I'm going to lay down for bit. Thanks again though, Tifa."

"Alright," Tifa said uneasily. "Please, call if you need anything and I'll be right over," she instructed.

"Fine, bye," Cloud responded quietly before disconnecting the call.

There was silence then.

Despite the aches and pains in his body telling him to lie down, he went to work cleaning up what he could of Zack's blood. He was able to scrub it off the tile in the bathroom but it seemed to have seeped into the grain of the floorboards in the living area, staining them with darkish brown spots. He'd been determined to make them as obsolete as possible, scrubbing furiously despite the building pain, but was forced to stop when he began to feel out of breath, dizzy and weak. Only then was he aware that his clothing was damp with his sweat and he had been trembling. He also must have loosened the stitches in his lower back because he was bleeding through the bandage a little bit.

Still sitting on the floor, he called Zack and again the call went straight to voicemail. This time he left a brief message: "Zack, it's me. I just wanted to let you know I'm at home. I'm just...wondering when you're going to show up." That's all he really had to say. He left the floor then and headed for the bedroom, just wanting to lie down and relax a little. He wasn't in the mood to deal with his wounds or hunger, or any other needs. He had exhausted himself through all the cleaning and was asleep barely ten minutes after he lay down.

When he woke up again, it was to the sound of his phone. The room was somewhat dark so he figured he'd slept at least four hours. He expected it was Tifa that was calling him again, maybe checking up or wanting to see if Zack was able to talk to her now. But, actually, it was Zack calling. Cloud answered in a fairly steady voice. Obviously since Zack had called him it meant he hadn't come home while he'd been sleeping. He planned on keeping calm and simply inquiring when it was Zack would be coming back but just the sound of Zack's voice when he greeted him on the other end of the line found him struggling to hold back his emotions. It must have reflected in his voice when he asked where Zack was.

Zack didn't give an answer. Instead he asked, "How did you get home? Did Tifa drive you?"

"I walked," Cloud replied softly. "I left without her knowing—well, she knows now—"

"You walked home alone?" Zack cut him off fast.

"I told you I wanted to come home, Zack," Cloud spoke back just as fast. "You said you would come get me," he pointed out, his voice now shaking more as his emotions were rising.

Instead of arguing, Zack asked, "Are you okay?" It was a sincere question.

"I am. I just…" he found himself unable to hold back his tears. "Did I do something wrong?"

"What?" Zack asked in confusion.

"Are you mad because of what happened? Because I didn't listen to you about working on the plate?" he asked. It was the only reason he could think that Zack would be almost avoiding him.

"No, Spike, I'm not mad," Zack said sadly. "You didn't do anything wrong, I—"

"I'm sorry," Cloud interrupted, his breaths becoming short as he started to cry.

"Buddy, there's nothing to apologize for," Zack reiterated. "Please don't be upset. I'm not mad, I swear."

"Then why aren't you here?" Cloud asked. What other reason could Zack have?

"I'm…I want to be…I'm…god, Spikey." Zack sighed heavily. "I've been all over the place. I'm messing up bad," he explained.

"I don't understand," Cloud replied, shaking his head.

"I know. I just—" Zack paused and shut his eyes as he felt his own tears welling up. The last thing he wanted right now was to have Cloud hurting, after what he'd just gone through. But at the moment he felt as though with the state he was in, he'd just cause more pain. "You know I care about you more than anyone, right Spike?" he asked. When Cloud didn't respond he repeated himself. "More than anyone. Or anything."

"Then why—" Cloud began to question but Zack cut him off.

"I'll be back. I just need a little more time."

"Okay," he gave in, nodding slowly to himself. He sat for a moment with the phone pressed to his ear after Zack had hung up. "I miss you," he said into the receiver, knowing it wasn't going to be heard.

"Who was that?" Rayna asked Zack from the doorway of her bathroom. "Your girlfriend?"

Zack sighed, dropping his phone to the bed and running his hands through his hair. "I don't have a girlfriend anymore," he stated without looking at her. He couldn't rightfully call himself Aerith's boyfriend when he refused to be in contact with her. She wouldn't want to have contact with him if she knew he was leading himself gradually into the world of drug dependency for a second time, the only difference being he was doing it to himself this time. He knew that's where he was heading. He hadn't been completely sober for a few weeks now, and in the past few days he'd spent the majority of the time intoxicated. He was beginning to feel like he had at the end of his captivity, with the almost constant need for the drugs swirling around inside him.

"Who then?" Rayna inquired next.

"My brother," he muttered, remembering to lie. It might as well have been truth anyway.

"He the one you need those medications from Scorch for?" she asked and he looked at her.

"Maybe. Why the questions?" he threw back at her.

"Just curious," she answered with a shrug.

"Why?" Zack pushed on.

"I guess I just want to know you," Rayna said with a light smile as she moved away from the doorway to come stand in front of him at the foot of the bed. She reached a hand down to run her fingers through his hair. "Is that so bad?" she said quietly before leaning down to kiss him. He really didn't have a response for her. She probably wouldn't want to hear him tell her he was never going to let her know him.

While Zack didn't show up at his and Cloud's apartment the next day he did call twice to ask if Cloud was alright. The second time he called he sounded a little strange, his voice somewhat slurred. Cloud suspected he was intoxicated. While he wanted to be understanding, he really couldn't understand how Zack would rather be off alone or with some stranger somewhere taking drugs when he could be at home instead. The fact actually made him angry enough to leave the apartment and go up to the plate. While he was weary of going back there, he hated living in fear and part of him was daring danger to confront him again.

He passed by the construction site where Mailer had snatched him. It was probably the last time he would be near the place. He wasn't going to bother going back to work. At the moment, a job really seemed senseless, despite the fact he'd no longer be making an income. He could care less right now about having money for rent, food, meds, anything. He went to the bar nearby where he used to go with some of the guys from work. If Zack could escape his problems by becoming intoxicated, he could to. Unfortunately, he was going to be interrupted barely an hour after he sat down.

Reno had finished a shift and decided to stop at the bar on his way home. When he entered the building his attention was drawn immediately to a blond-haired guy sitting at the bar. He recognized it to be Strife. Though he was surprised at first to see him sitting there alone, he reminded himself that it was here he had had a previous run-in with him that had led to a fight between them. He made his way over, a smirk already on his face.

"Hey baby boy," he spoke down to him when he'd reached him, drawing a short glance from Cloud. "You gave us the slip a few nights back," he continued while leaning against the bar top. "Awfully rude of you," he added.

"Go away," Cloud ordered without looking at him.

"We were going to help you out—" Reno began to say as he sat himself down on the stool next to Cloud.

"Why the hell would I want help from you?" Cloud found himself nearly shouting at the Turk. Several of the conversations around them seemed to stop and Reno looked around a little embarrassed.

"You got a problem guys?" the bartender spoke down to them with warning in his tone.

"No," Reno answered, shaking his head. "No problem." The bartender just stared back at him a moment before heading away. Slowly the conversations picked up again around them. "Geeze, princess, you wanna keep your voice down?"

"I said, _go away_," Cloud repeated his first command with emphasis, sending a harsh look the Turk's way.

"Alright," Reno said, nodding. "Yeah, I could do that but you don't really own the bar so if I feel like being here—"

Cloud groaned in frustration. "What do you want?" he questioned in exasperation. The cocky smirk on Reno's face diminished. "What?" Cloud repeated.

"Nothing," the Turk responded more softly than seemed normal for him. "I just...I saw you sitting here and I guess I found myself wondering why it is you'd be hanging around up here alone after what went down a few nights ago."

Cloud looked at him, brow furrowed. "And what would you know about it?" he asked harshly before downing what was left in the glass in front of him and motioning to the bartender that he wanted another beer.

Reno smiled and said "Well I know an ex-Shinra guard was found filleted in the slums a couple days ago." Cloud's expression suggested he wasn't surprised. The bartender set down a filled glass in front of him but Reno snatched it away before he could take hold of it. "His apartment was fairly close to where we found you actually," the Turk added.

"Give it to me," Cloud commanded, reaching out to take hold of the beer glass in Reno's possession.

"Pretty sure you're not old enough to drink," Reno replied simply and proceeded to drink out of the glass himself, making Cloud huff in frustration and annoyance.

"If you ask me, Fair's got some rage issues, though I can't deny the guy deserved it," Reno commented.

"Oh, yeah? How do you know it was Zack?" Cloud challenged.

"Oh, please!" the Turk exclaimed. "Easy call to make. A little SOLDIER technique, jazzed up with a big dose of hatred." His tone grew softer again when he said "Given what he did to you though—"

"What?" Cloud cut him off fast. They met eyes and Cloud looked at him expectantly.

"You know what I'm talking about," the Turk spoke a little uneasily.

"No," Cloud denied. "I don't," he said, though he really did know what Reno was talking about. Cloud wished it weren't true, but Reno had seen something those few nights back. That little bit of blood in a telling place that could only really mean one thing. He hated the fact that the Turk had seen it and while he couldn't change the fact he had, he certainly wasn't going to admit anything to him. "You don't know what you're talking about either," he fired at him instead.

"C'mon man, I know what I saw," the Turk argued. "It's not something any guy wants to imagine," he said almost at a whisper.

Cloud stood fast, the stool nearly tipping and falling back behind him. He couldn't listen to any more of what Reno had to say. He didn't like the way the conversation was going, and it wasn't just the content of it but the way the Turk was speaking to him or the way he was acting. He was used to Reno being one way: rude and devoid of compassion or real emotion. Reno was an inconsiderate asshole. He was a sadist. That's who he'd always been, at least in Cloud's mind. He had no want to talk to him about anything and he certainly didn't want to sit there with the man while he pretended to be human all of a sudden. He headed for the door fast, vaguely aware that the bartender was calling after him.

"Here," Reno said to the man as he stood and reached into his pocket. He pulled out some bills and dropped them on the bartop. "Keep the change," he added before following after Cloud. He'd only just stepped outside when two hands grabbed the front of his jacket and forced him back roughly where his back hit the wall.

Cloud felt himself shaking with the adrenaline rush his anger had given him. He clutched the material of Reno's jacket in his hands harshly while he breathed hard through his nose.

"Look—" Reno started to speak but Cloud interrupted swiftly.

"Shut up!" Cloud demanded. "What do you want? Just tell me, what the fuck it is you want? Zack told me you and your Turk comrades are no longer watching us so what are you doing here?"

"Ya mind?" Reno said as he took hold of Cloud's one hand and pulled, urging him to let go of his jacket. Cloud did so hesitantly, pushing himself back from Reno but still waiting for his answer. "I told you," the Turk began somewhat softly while he was straightening his jacket a little. "I saw you and...I dunno, I guess I just feel kinda sorry for you is all."

Cloud looked back at him with an expression of incredulity that quickly morphed back to anger. "Sorry for me? Sorry? For what?" he spat. "What the fuck do you care what happens to me? You afraid you and your boss won't get to use me for your stupid plan?"

"That's not it," Reno denied. "The boss is over it now. I think Fair made it pretty clear you guys aren't interested and honestly, I don't give a shit. I never cared about the fucking 'plan'. Tseng's the boss and I follow his orders. If he said he wanted you gift wrapped and dropped on Hojo's doorstep then that's what I'd do," he pointed out.

"Good to know," Cloud shot back at him. It was just as he suspected, the Turk had no soul.

"It's not a fucking personal thing," Reno defended. "I got recruited to the Turks for a reason and it wasn't for making my own goddamn decisions about shit, understand?"

"So then why?" Cloud returned to his original question. "Why is it you feel so fucking sorry for me now?"

Reno let out a long breath before answering. "Because...it's—you ...you know..." he struggled with an explanation he couldn't really give. Truth was, he didn't know why he felt so sorry for him all of a sudden. Something had changed in him since he'd worked at the mansion, and he wasn't liking it. It made him feel a hell of a lot more unsure of himself. "It's fucked up," he said finally. He looked at Cloud and met his eyes. "It's just really fucked up." That's all he could say. All he could think of. He couldn't put into words what he really thought or felt.

Tears were building in Cloud's eyes as he stared back at the Turk. He clenched his jaw tightly and took a step toward the Turk. His unwelcome tears were breaking away and rolling down his cheeks when he replied sharply with "Where was your pity in the mansion? You didn't care what they did to me then. Why the hell should you care now?"

Reno felt a little confused as he listened. "The mansion," he uttered barely loud enough to hear. It occurred to him then that more may have happened there than he had known about, or even cared to notice. He had heard the lewd comments that were made about Cloud and Zack by Hojo's staff, the threats. But he'd assumed them to be made relatively jokingly. Hell, even he had messed around a little with Cloud that way, but he'd only been trying to mess with his head. He didn't think anyone would really try to abuse them that way. But what was he to expect. They'd been classified as sub-human. They were _specimens_, after all. It made him wonder then if the rumour he'd heard involving Zack and one of the enforcers was actually true. He'd heard from one of the other Turks that the enforcer was bragging about receiving sexual favours from "Z1" and while he'd been entertained by the idea, he wasn't sure he actually believed it. If it was true it was obviously in exchange for something.

"Cloud—" he started to speak, though he wasn't sure what he was even about to say. Cloud cut him off fast. Hearing his actual name spoken by the Turk for what he figured had to be the first time pushed him over the edge and he didn't want another word from Reno.

"I don't want pity from you. _Not ever_. Stay away from me," he ordered. He was unable to keep a steady voice as he was fighting the urge to cry but his words still came out with the level of harshness he was hoping for. It was all he had left to say. Reno shook his head in response, his hands on his hips while he looked more defeated than Cloud had ever hoped to see him.

Reno lowered his head a moment when Cloud turned away and began to leave. He looked up at him then and watched him walk away, hearing him breaking into soft sobs as he did so.

Cloud managed to cry himself out by the time he reached the train station. He felt exhausted on the ride back to the slums. All he could think about was the mansion. While half of him wanted to forget all about it, the other half was still struggling to remember the parts that seemed to have been cut out of his memory. It was a difficult task and a seemingly impossible one when it came to remembering anything before the mansion. Tifa would probably be able to help him, but that would require him to ask and he wasn't ready for such a thing.

He didn't realize he'd left his phone at home until he got back to the apartment and saw it sitting on the side table next to the bed. He checked it, hoping Zack had called, but he hadn't. Tossing the phone onto the bed, he left the room and headed back out to the living room where he sat on the couch and turned on the T.V. He laid his head back and closed his eyes. He felt hungry but didn't want to put forth the effort to make something. He thought of one of the things Reno had said, about Mailer being found. It was double confirmation that the man was dead. He didn't feel as comforted by the thought as he wanted. He wondered about the others. The others that Zack had gone after. He was sure that's what Zack had been doing. But Reno hadn't mentioned anyone finding their bodies.

He'd only been sitting for about fifteen minutes when there was a knock at the door. He had no intention of getting up to see who it was so he waited for whoever was there to leave.

"Zack! You in there?" a voice called through the door and Cloud thought it sounded familiar. There was a pause and then another few bangs. "Zack! Come on, man, I have to talk to you!" the person called in. It sounded like Kunsel.

After another few bangs on the door, Cloud pulled himself off the couch and approached the door to unlock it. He pulled it open and was able to confirm it was in fact Kunsel outside.

"Oh, hey, Cloud," Kunsel spoke with a little surprise in his tone. "I, uh, need to talk to Za—" he started to say but Cloud interrupted.

"He's not here," he said plainly.

Kunsel looked surprised a second time. "Well, where is he? You're here on your own?"

"I have no idea," Cloud replied with a shrug. He hoped his answer would send the man on his way but it didn't.

"Can I come in?" he asked. Releasing a sigh, Cloud turned and began to make his way back to the couch, leaving the door open, which Kunsel took as his entrance pass. He entered the apartment and shut the door behind him. He stood for a moment at the door, not quite knowing what to say or do next.

"So, you...really have no idea where Zack is?" he asked when he'd finally decided to move closer the where Cloud was sitting.

"Well. I have _some_ idea," Cloud admitted. "I think he's been up on the plate."

"With someone?" Kunsel questioned.

"I dunno," Cloud said with disinterest.

Kunsel eyed him curiously. "Aren't you worried at all?"

Cloud shook his head after briefly thinking about it. "Not really. He's been calling every six hours or so." Kunsel nodded but looked at a loss for what to say next. "What'd you need to talk to him about?" Cloud decided to ask.

"Aerith called me," the SOLDIER began. "She's worried about him," he explained.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure he's fine," Cloud spoke flatly. He glanced at Kunsel for a split second when the man took a seat on the couch next to him.

"She's worried about you too," he announced to Cloud's shock. "She said something happened. That you were in an accident or something?"

_It wasn't an accident_, Cloud thought to himself but he didn't say anything. Kunsel sighed and looked at his hands.

"Look, I've heard some things," he began again. "That some guards from the mansion out by Nibelheim have gone missing. One was found dead, the others still aren't accounted for. My thoughts are that Zack's responsible, but I don't see why he'd be drawing attention like that. The condition that the one guard was found in...I'm...concerned for Zack..." He trailed off and watched Cloud, waiting for him to react. When he didn't he said tentatively "It has something to do with you, right?"

Cloud stayed silent another long moment before answering slowly. "Maybe," he began, still facing forward. "Doesn't it always have to do with me?" he asked and finally looked Kunsel's way again. Kunsel was about to reply but Cloud went on. "I mean, in the mansion, I remember there was a time when Zack coulda got away, but he wouldn't try, because of me. He did things in the mansion...things that hurt him, because of me. He's put himself in danger here, because of me. Everything he does that puts him in jeopardy is because of me," he spoke sadly, almost as though he'd just realized it at that moment.

Kunsel looked at him a little dumbfounded before responding. "Cloud, none of it's your fault," he stated firmly and Cloud looked at him fast.

"You don't know that," he said sharply.

"Tell me what happened," Kunsel urged, shaking his head. "I can help."

"No you can't!" Cloud threw back at him. "No one can. What's done is done."

Kunsel didn't know what else to say. Clearly Cloud wasn't going to let him in one what was going on. He really needed to find Zack.

"I'm sorry, Cloud," he said gently. He imagined placing his hand on Cloud's back, for reassurance, but he thought it may turn out to be an uncomfortable and unwelcome gesture so he refrained. "For whatever happened," he added sincerely. "I'm so sorry."

Unfortunately, Cloud thought when Kunsel had left, feeling sorry just doesn't undo things.

000

Zack sighed as he woke from a long drug-induced nap in Rayna's apartment. He'd shot up around dinner time with a mixture of Sirex and something else Rayna had brought home and fell asleep shortly after he and Rayna had had sex. He was alone in the bed and the apartment was dark. A check of his phone told him it was just after 11 p.m. so Rayna had probably gone to work at the club.

He turned on the lamp next to the bed, shutting his eyes briefly when the light came on and forced himself out of the bed. He dressed himself in his t-shirt and boxers before heading to the bathroom. He wasn't entirely sure of what to do with himself for the next few hours until he was tired enough to sleep again or until Rayna came back. The cable to the television hadn't been working for just over a day so his options were limited.

With nothing else coming to mind, he sat at the table with a beer and looked down at the newspaper that was sitting there. Though he wasn't particularly interested in current events, he decided to peruse through it. On the front page was a building. Some new arts centre being opened. When he turned the page over, however, he felt as though his heart had stopped. There in black and white was a picture of Hojo standing with a few of the Shinra scientists in a lab. He was barely breathing as he read the caption under the picture that said something about Hojo having been working with the scientists, combining research data that had been compiled over the past few years. What they were working on didn't sink into his mind as he read it. He was only able to process two things. Hojo had been working with the scientists in Midgar and he'd been doing so for almost two weeks.

Zack found himself shaking with the realization that Hojo had been in Midgar for nearly two weeks. He may still be in the city. All the while, he and Cloud had been travelling up to the plate, oblivious to that fact. Of course, it was silly to think Hojo wouldn't end up in Midgar at some point as he was Shinra's head scientist, but confronted with the evidence that he was in fact very close by suddenly made Zack feel a million times more vulnerable than he'd felt before. Faced with this new information he felt the immediate need to have Cloud in his sight. Just talking to him on the phone wasn't going to cut it now. He needed to go home.


	27. Chapter 23

_Hey all, thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter. I had said somewhere that I didn't want to post this chapter until I had updated "Dreams Incarnate" because there was content in it that would be kinda spoiler-ish in it if I did. Well, actually I decided to break this chapter into a couple because it was going to be really long if I didn't so it actually wouldn't have spoiled anything. I decided to cut the length of the chapter because I've been getting more comments that the long lengths are a little hard to get through. I figure it wouldn't kill me to put out some shorter ones. I don't think it will take me too long to update with the following chapter as most of it is pretty much written. I won't make any promises though as things tend to come up that lead to delays. Also, I realized while going over the previous chapters that I said at some point I would add little preview lines at the bottom of each chapter that would hint at the content of the next. Yeah...so that didn't happen. It was kinda dumb for me to think I'd be able to do that because I really never know what's going to be coming up for sure. Sorry...seemed like a good idea at the time. _

_In other news (this is already posted to my profile page so you may have already seen it), Sassi Neri has posted a review of Reduced to Specimens and Reclamation on YouTube that you should definitely check out if you are interested. You can find it here: www. youtube watch?v=VfEDABmGFdU (without spaces). Or you can type "Fanfiction review: Reduced to Specimens Reclamation (by JaydeeGrey)!" (without quotation marks) into the YouTube search bar._

_Cheers!_

_Chapter Song: An Evening Hymn – The Wooden Sky_

Chapter XXIII

It was less than ten minutes before Zack had left Rayna's apartment and headed for the train station. Sitting on the train, he stared at his own reflection in the window next to him. He didn't really want to go back to the slums, but it was where he belonged. He tried not to think about what he was going to say to Cloud when he got home. Or what Cloud would have to say to him. He had some obvious explaining to do about where he had been. Further, he was in decision about telling Cloud about what he'd read in the paper. How was he going to tell him their former tormentor was so frighteningly near? Somehow he had to. And then what? What were they supposed to do next? Though they'd both been working, they had very little money, which was probably something else Cloud had no idea about. The money had been going to Scorch, with just enough left over for rent and food. They had no transportation. No one outside the city really to help them. Jacob wasn't a safe enough option. And even if they left the city, how long would Cloud function without medication to subdue his mako sickness and hallucinations. How far would they make it?

Zack couldn't stop his anxious mind from thinking of such things while on the way home. They only ceased when he entered the apartment. There wasn't one light on so he assumed Cloud was sleeping. The smell of cleanser hung in the air a little and the aroma was stronger in the bathroom where he remembered he'd left a fair mess a few days earlier. Everything was clean and tidied. There were no traces of the blood he'd left behind. He thought then about what it must have been like for his friend coming home and seeing that. It struck him with a great deal of guilt.

In the bedroom, Cloud lay quietly and listened to the sounds of Zack moving around the apartment. He'd only been lightly sleeping when Zack had come home and he'd been startled by the sound of the apartment door opening. He knew though after listening for a moment that it was Zack. He was relieved and annoyed at the same time. It was a few minutes before the door to the bedroom was eased open. His eyes were closed but he could almost feel Zack's eyes searching him out and just watching him for a few moments. He didn't say or do anything to indicate he was awake. He was still angry at Zack and yet half of him wasn't angry at all. He knew that what Zack had been doing the past few days had almost everything to do with him.

He listened as Zack took off his jacket and felt the mattress depress when he sat down and began untying his boots. Zack stopped moving then. Cloud didn't need to look at him to know he was tired. He could feel the exhaustion coming off him. Still, he glanced over his shoulder and could see Zack was just sitting there, his head in his hands. He turned away again when Zack stood up to slip off his jeans. He pulled back the covers on his side of the bed and got in slowly, lying down on his side, facing away from Cloud.

Cloud heard him sigh while he shifted a little. Then there was silence and it seemed deafening. Zack had to have known he was awake. Did he not think that after days of him being gone god knows where that they may need to talk about some things? Cloud abandoned quickly any thoughts of starting the conversation. He didn't know what to say. After another minute the silence was diminished by some quiet sounds made by Zack. They were sounds Cloud wasn't really accustomed to hearing from him. Sounds that immediately erased any current anger he felt. Sounds like crying. Cloud turned over slowly and stared through the darkness at Zack's back.

Though he'd tried to hold it back, Zack hadn't been able to keep himself from releasing tears. All the things he'd thought about on the train rushed at him all over again. Fear and the feeling of not knowing what to do were overwhelming him fast. His shame was really the last straw. He really did think Cloud was sleeping though, or he may have been able to contain his emotions a little better.

Cloud shifted a little closer to him after a moment and reached out, touching Zack's shoulder tentatively.

"Zack," he said just above a whisper.

Zack inhaled sharply realizing Cloud was now awake. Or maybe he'd been awake the moment he entered the room. He was reluctant to respond to him right away so he just lay still and took some short breaths, trying to calm himself again. He felt Cloud's hand slide down his shoulder to squeeze his upper arm gently

"Zack, you okay?" he asked.

Zack passed a hand over his tear-streaked cheeks and finally turned over to face him. They stared at each other a moment and then Zack smiled lightly, a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, Spikey," he answered while reaching out to brush some of the hair out of Cloud's face, off his forehead. His fingers paused at the stitches near Cloud's temple. Even in the dark, the bruises from his encounter with Mailer were still apparent. "You okay?" he returned Cloud's question.

"I'm alright," Cloud replied but Zack's sad expression said he knew the truth. "They're all gone, aren't they?" Cloud whispered then and Zack swallowed hard.

"All but one," he answered. All but one of the group of men from that simulation in the mansion.

Cloud looked directly into his eyes then as he said, "Don't leave again. Please."

Zack buried down the urge he had to start crying again and instead reached an arm around Cloud. "Come 'ere, buddy," he said softly as he urged Cloud close to him. He lay on his back and Cloud settled his head on his chest, under his chin. Zack's left arm was wrapped around him, holding him tightly while his right hand was resting on his back. Cloud reached his own left over Zack's torso and clutched the material of his t-shirt lightly at his side. He found himself inhaling deeply. He would never admit it to anyone, but he missed Zack's scent when he wasn't around. There was something in it that immediately made him feel more at ease. Zack kissed the top of his head and finally rested his own head back, closing his eyes.

There wasn't anything else to say at that moment. Cloud could still feel the tension in Zack's body but he could hear Zack's heartbeat in his chest and it seemed steady. He let the soft thudding lull him into slumber, into his dreams and nightmares.

000

Tseng had been expecting another meeting with President Shinra and Professor Hojo since a former mansion guard had been found murdered in the slums days before. He'd seen what was left of the man himself. It had been classified as a highly personal killing. Attempts had been made to contact the other former guards thought to be in the Midgar area but it seemed as though they'd vanished. The night of the one guard's killing, Reno and Rude had reported running into Strife on the plate. He was injured and confused and managed to get away from them before he'd given up any information as to what had happened. Tseng was sure he knew though. When he met up with the president and Hojo, it was clear they'd already drawn the same conclusion he had.

It was early in the morning, dawn just breaking though it looked like Hojo had been up most of the night. His sleep deprivation probably did something to subdue the obvious rage he felt as the situation involving the missing guards and the one found dead was discussed.

"The guard contacted me before he was killed and said he was sure Z1 would be coming after him. He wouldn't tell me why so I didn't react at first with any amount of urgency," Hojo revealed.

"Perhaps he was rendered with temporary delusions. Tests on his blood showed evidence of a powerful drug—" Tseng began to suggest.

"Perhaps you'd like to have a look at this!" Hojo interrupted, tossing a folder at him that he just managed to catch hold of.

The folder contained lab printouts. There was a lot of coding and jargon he really didn't understand just by glancing at it but he got the basic idea. They contained the results of several blood tests.

"Samples were taken from the guard's apartment," the president said.

"C4 was in his apartment," Hojo continued for him. "And probably sustained some injuries. Can your idiot brain comprehend what this means?" the professor asked him. "It means my specimens are in the city and I want them returned to me immediately!" he shouted. Before Tseng could apologize for not having completed his mission yet, Hojo continued. "It is imperative that C4 is brought back to the labs for continued enhancement. Remarkably, the samples show that the Jenova cells in C4's body are replicating, changing the specimen's DNA. He's incorporating the DNA of Jenova into his own!"

Tseng could see Hojo's excited eyes turn dark then. "But he's been taking something that is degrading the cells, making them unable to reproduce. It must be stopped now, or the progression could be lost."

"Understood, Professor," Tseng said as he held the folder back out to him. Without saying anything else, the professor said goodbye to the president and headed out of the office. With the man gone, the president looked up at Tseng from where he was seated at his desk. He stood up and headed around the desk toward him.

Tseng stared at the empty chair for a minute. When he turned to face the president he caught the flash of the man's hand moving toward him a split second before the back of that hand was colliding with the side of his face. The hit stunned him a little and had him pivoting on his one foot, towards the desk again to keep from stumbling. The president placed a hand between his shoulder blades and pushed him forward where his palms landed on the desk to hold him standing.

"I won't tolerate this sort of incompetence, Tseng," the president spoke icily.

"No, sir," he replied calmly, using his tongue to touch the corner of his mouth where he tasted a little blood. The president was close behind him. He felt the man's hand rest at the back of his neck, grasping firmly.

"I expect a hard day's work today from you in tracking down those specimens, Tseng," the president said. "And I expect you to make a personal visit to my quarters at midnight to reveal that your perseverance has paid off. Understand?"

"Yes, President," Tseng agreed.

"I look forward to our meeting this evening," the president said by way of dismissal, releasing Tseng's neck and standing back.

Tseng cleared his throat gently and stood straight before facing the president. He gave the man a firm nod before leaving the office. His thoughts were racing then when he entered the hallway and his hand was reaching for his phone.

000

It was still relatively early when the ringing of his cell phone woke Reno. He reached for it with his eyes still closed, nearly knocking it to the floor.

"Reno," he mumbled into it.

"It's me," Rude answered. "Were you sleeping?"

"Yeah I was fucking sleeping," he grumbled back and opened one eye to check the clock next to the bed. 7:30 am. He'd only been asleep about three and a half hours. After his encounter with Cloud the night before, he'd stayed at the bar and drank for a few hours. He'd practically stumbled his way home, prepared to pass out the moment he landed in bed. Strangely, he'd found himself tossing and turning until the early hours of the morning. Since his next shift wasn't until the following afternoon, he'd assumed he would have the rest of the morning to catch up on his missed sleep. "What the fuck do you want?" he asked Rude impatiently.

"I'm coming to pick you up in an hour," his partner announced.

"The fuck you are," Reno argued, letting his eyes fall closed again, ready to drift off.

"Tseng wants us to meet him in the slums. Fair and Strife's apartment," Rude went on.

Reno opened his eyes once more. He had an odd sinking feeling in his stomach suddenly. "Why?" he asked.

Rude let out a tired breath. "Get ready, I'll be there soon," was all he said before hanging up.

Reno was reluctant to get out of bed to get dressed. His mind was busy with wonderings over the reasons Tseng might be calling them to the slums. He really hated to admit it but he almost felt worried. Once he was sitting in the car with Rude, headed down to Zack and Cloud's apartment, he could tell his partner felt the same. They really didn't have much to say to each other during the drive.

When they met Tseng just around the corner from the apartment they could see immediately he was not in the best of moods. He looked tired, and though there was nothing really off about his appearance in comparison to any other day, something about his current emotional state made him appear disheveled. There was a hard look of determination in his face though that was masking an obvious anxiousness. Neither Rude nor Reno had seen their boss like that before.

"You okay, boss?" Rude asked when he and Reno approached.

"You both have your weapons on you?" Tseng inquired in a level tone.

Reno smirked a little. "Well yeah," he replied as though it should be obvious. They always carried their weapons while on duty. "But what's going on?" he questioned. Tseng didn't say anything in return before he turned to head around the corner, towards the apartment. He paused then when they were at the bottom of the steps leading up to where they would presumably find Zack and Cloud.

"Here," Tseng said as he reached into his pocket to retrieve something. He passed Reno and Rude each a small tranquilizer gun.

"What're these for?" Reno asked.

"I should think that would be obvious," Tseng countered. "Keep them covered," he directed before taking hold of the handrail and stepping one foot onto the first stair.

"Boss, what're we doing here?" Reno dared to ask. He knew the answer, but he was a little shocked over it.

Tseng turned fast. "I don't need questions from you right now, Reno, I need you to be able to follow my goddamn orders as I give them to you," he barked. "Can you do that?"

Reno glanced at Rude briefly before saying, "Yeah, boss, you know I will."

000

Cloud woke again with a slight start, feeling like he was falling, his muscles jolting him while his eyes flew open. The panic that had been blanketing over him calmed immediately when he realized he was safe, still lying as he'd fallen asleep, his one arm stretched across Zack's torso and his head on Zack's chest. Zack hadn't moved either. His arms were still around him, holding him surprisingly tight given Zack seemed to still be sleeping. Cloud took in a slow breath, not wanting even the slightest additional movement to disturb his friend. He didn't want to move, didn't want to have to get up. He was never more comfortable than when Zack was close by and as his memories were truly limited, he could say he never felt more secure, more cared about, or looked after than when Zack held onto him like he was doing now. Right at that moment, he could forget about all the problems around them, between them, and concerning them. Everything seemed...fine. Even if it wasn't.

He felt Zack move under him then. His chest rose more steeply, a sign he was on the verge of waking up and Cloud closed his eyes, wishing he wasn't. He hugged Zack a little firmer and a second later the muscles of Zack's arms contracted and pressed more tightly against him. Zack inhaled deeply, his chest rising higher once more and when he exhaled Cloud felt some of the hair on his head shift. He felt Zack's arms begin to slacken then, the hold on him loosening as Zack's one arm slid off him.

"Spike," Zack spoke a little groggily. Cloud didn't answer at first, tempted to pretend he was still sleeping. Zack's right hand moved to the back of his neck where he squeezed gently. "Spikey, you awake?" he asked and Cloud let out an inaudible sigh.

"Yeah," he spoke back. He was a little surprised by his own tone. It sounded as disappointed as he felt. But it also sounded tired, though more like he was mentally tired, which he was.

"What time is it?" Zack asked.

"I don't know." He really didn't know. The sun was bright in the room though. Zack reached across to the nightstand at his side of the bed, taking hold of his phone. "What time is it?" Cloud asked when he didn't say anything.

"Nearly nine-thirty," Zack revealed as he dropped his phone on the bed. "You should take your medication," he suggested.

"Probably," Cloud agreed though he still didn't move. Zack did, however, move himself up on the mattress a little so he could prop his head up against the pillows at the wall above his head. That forced Cloud to shift a bit but he was reluctant to move off of him.

"Are you feeling alright, Spike," Zack asked, looking down at the back of Cloud's head.

"Yeah, I just...missed you, Zack," Cloud admitted with a light shrug. "You were gone for days. I was starting to think you weren't gonna bother coming back."

Zack rubbed his face with his hand before dropping it down to Cloud's back and rubbing it gently. "I'm sorry, buddy," he said softly. "There were just things I had to do."

"So you left me with Tifa?" Cloud said back a little bitterly.

"She's a pain in the ass but she does seem to know how to take care of people," Zack pointed out. He began playing with a few of the spikes on Cloud's head.

"I guess," Cloud uttered. "She found me on the plate," he added after a moment. He allowed himself to think back, but only far enough to the phone booth. "I called you," he said next.

Zack was dreading Cloud's next words and he knew what they would be before they were said. His hand stilled in Cloud's hair when asked "Where were you?"

"I—" Zack began, not even sure what he was going to say. He never got the chance. A loud knocking at the apartment door cut him off. He could feel that it had startled Cloud as his body jolted against his. He had been startled himself. He didn't know who it could be. Cloud lifted himself slightly to look up at him.

"It might be Kunsel," he said and Zack looked at him with confusion.

"Kunsel?" he said back in a slightly hushed tone.

"He was here yesterday, looking for you," Cloud revealed.

Zack sat up and began to pull himself out of bed. "Stay here," he ordered, glancing at Cloud once to make sure he'd acknowledged the command.

In just his boxers and t-shirt he headed out of the room and towards the apartment door. He went slowly. A second round of knocking startled him almost as much as the first had. This time, however, a voice spoke.

"Open up, Zack, we need to talk!" the voice called in. He recognized it as Tseng's. He sighed with frustration. Tseng was one of the last people he wanted to talk to right now, or ever for that matter. Giving in, he unlocked the door and pulled it open. Immediately he could see Tseng wasn't alone. Reno and Rude were with him. Tseng didn't wait for Zack to ask him in. He stepped into the apartment and the other Turks followed. "Sit down, now," Tseng ordered. Zack couldn't be bothered resisting as he walked toward the couch. "This matter concerns Cloud also, is he here?" Tseng asked and almost immediately Reno was heading for the bedroom.

"Hey!" Zack shouted, ready to go after him. Tseng seized his arm and held him back. "Don't you touch him!" he warned Reno. Before the Turk had gotten past the doorway, Cloud appeared on his own. He looked at Reno briefly before pushing past him to head to the couch where he and Zack sat down together. "What do you want now, Tseng?" Zack asked sharply.

"I want you to tell me what the hell you think you're doing," Tseng returned with an equally cutting tone.

"Meaning?" Zack asked.

"Don't play like an idiot, Zack, one former Shinra guard is dead and three others are missing," Tseng shot back at him.

"Did you check the industrial districts?" Zack returned smugly. He wasn't going to pretend he hadn't done what he'd done.

Tseng's eyes narrowed. "Do you know what this looks like?" he asked.

"Just deserts," Zack suggested.

"It looks like you and Cloud are hiding in Midgar and that my people and I can't do our goddamn jobs." Before Zack could retort, Tseng continued. "Hojo is here, in Midgar, as we speak," he announced and Cloud's eyes widened slightly. Zack didn't need to look at him to see the sudden anxiety that was coming over him.

"He was already here!" Zack blasted back at Tseng, standing up. Tseng seemed a little shocked. "But you didn't come racing to tell us _that_, did you?" Tseng's eyes lowered. "No! You let us walk around up there on the plate not knowing. I supposed that means you were hoping we'd get spotted!" Zack shouted at him.

"When'd you find out?" the Turk asked, his tone quieter again.

"Last night."

"How?" Tseng asked next.

"The media, how the fuck else?" Zack fired at him.

"The reasons for my not saying anything are irrelevant now," Tseng said. "The dead guard, he had tried to contact Hojo, because he suspected you'd be coming after him. Hojo was a little doubtful at first as the guard wouldn't tell him why he thought you'd be coming after him. I don't think I need to ask why." He looked down at Cloud. "Hojo wouldn't have reacted favourably to learning his property had been damaged."

"_Property_?" Zack seethed. He was ready to launch himself at Tseng, standing, grabbing his jacket and raising his fist but Cloud came to a stand fast and stopped him.

"It won't help," he said and Zack let go of Tseng.

"You're quicker to anger than you once were, Zackary," the Turk leader pointed out. "Thanks to your tirade this week, Hojo has been given confirmation that you are both in Midgar and he will not leave again unless he is taking you with him."

"So, what then?!" Zack shouted at him. "Are you here to try and bring us in?"

Cloud looked from Zack to Reno and Rude, their expressions stony, and finally at Tseng. He hadn't thought for a moment that's why they were here, but now that Zack had said it, it almost made sense. Only Reno and Rude were with him. The three of them had been involved in their original imprisonment. Reno had even said just last night that he would help send them back to Hojo if that's what Tseng ordered him to do. And Tseng had just said the fact he and Zack were now known to be in Midgar made him and his people look bad. The expression on Tseng's face really did seem to confirm things. He could feel it. The air was heavy with anticipation. It was that moment before things were about to come tumbling down, crushing him and Zack.

Cloud didn't expect the tidal wave of fear and emotion that seemed to rush up from his feet and crash over him. In an instant he felt unbearably hot, his body breaking out in sweat while he felt like his throat was closing in on him. He began shaking, his knees giving way under him, forcing him to sit where he began to cry. He couldn't stop it. Tears were flooding his eyes and spilling out faster than he could control. His crying became full on sobs in mere seconds. He knew he must look pathetic. He _felt _pathetic.

For a few moments, Cloud's sobbing was the only sound in the room. Zack crouched in front of him. He put his hands on Cloud's knees and tried to meet his eyes.

"We can't go back!" Cloud cried. "We can't go back, Zack," he repeated and heaved in a breath before continuing to sob. "Please!" he begged then. "Don't send us back!"

Zack winced with agonizing sympathy. It killed him to see Cloud like this, so much so he almost lost it himself. He hated to see him pleading like that to anyone from Shinra but just days ago Cloud had suffered a terrorizing experience with Mailer. Mailer had all but promised to give him to Hojo when he was done with him and the fear he must have felt over that threat would have been excruciating. Now, that threat was thrown at him all over again, just days later when he was still trying to get over what had almost happened. Given that, he couldn't have expected any other reaction but the one Cloud was having now.

He leaned in close to Cloud so he could speak near his ear. "They won't take us, Spike," he said as calmly as he could. "We'll fight them if they try. We fought them before, in the mansion, and they aren't as strong as us. They know that." Cloud nodded, and started to grow quieter. When Zack pulled back to look in his eyes he could see that bit of focus he was hoping for. The concentration as Cloud was readying himself for that fight.

Both of them looked over at Tseng. It was the Turk's move first, and yet all he did for a minute was stare back at them. Cloud glanced over to where Reno and Rude were standing. Reno met his eyes briefly but was quick to avert his gaze. His expression was unreadable. Zack watched as Tseng reached a hand toward his hip slowly. _He's going for his gun_, Zack thought. He stood straight and took a step to the side, shielding Cloud a little. The blood was rushing to his hands as he waited for the fight to start.

"Reno, Rude," the Turk leader spoke, his eyes never leaving Zack's until Cloud stood slowly behind Zack and looked over Zack's shoulder at him.

"Yeah, boss?" Reno acknowledged him, waiting for their next command.

Tseng met Cloud's eyes. _He's not human_. Not all human anyway. That's what he'd been telling himself on the way down to the slums. The proof was in his blood. He was no different than the mutated monsters he'd had to dispose of in the past. But he _was _different. There was nothing about him that looked monster-like or menacing. One day there might be, if Hojo worked on him another few years. In the cold, stony labs.

Tseng's hand rested on his hip then as he lowered his eyes slightly. He stood motionlessly for several moments before his shoulders seemed to sag and he looked tired suddenly.

"Let's go," he ordered quietly before turning and heading for the door. Cloud looked over at Reno and Rude, feeling a little confused now. He could see in the Turks' faces some minute indications of relief before they turned their backs on him and Zack and disappeared through the door of the apartment. Tseng paused at the door and looked back. "I suggest you stay off the plate," were his final words.

Cloud and Zack looked at one another before Cloud closed his eyes and began to sink back to the couch. "Oh my god," he uttered, lowering his head. Zack sat down slowly beside him. His adrenaline was flowing through him so strongly he thought he may start shaking. Cloud _was _shaking however and looking about as pale as Zack thought he might look himself.

Zack reached over to him, pulling him closer and hugging him tightly. "It's okay," he whispered.

"He's here, Zack," his friend said back in a somewhat stunned tone. "He's so close. What are we going to do?"

"We'll be alright," was all Zack could say in that moment.

Outside, the Turks were heading back to their vehicles.

"Boss," Reno spoke up and Tseng stopped at his car to look back. "What was that in there?" he asked.

"I don't know what you're referring to, Reno," Tseng replied before opening his door.

"Boss!" Reno called again before he could get in the car.

"What?" Tseng answered with agitation.

"Are we...should we be worried—I mean the president and Hojo—" he tried to question awkwardly.

"No," Tseng said, shaking his head slightly. "Our failure to obtain and return the specimens to Professor Hojo falls on my head," he said simply before disappearing into his vehicle.


	28. Notesadly

_Hey everyone, _

_I really hate to submit notes to stories because they look like a chapter, which then leads to disappointment when one realizes it's not a chapter. I was going to start up a "Story" simply for note updates but...I thought I read somewhere on the site that that's not allowed..._

_ANYWAY, I felt compelled to apologize for the fact that I will probably be taking another long time to get another chapter out. Some stuff has gone on in my life to slow down my writing even more (as if that's possible), the most recent of which was a car accident. Whoopie. I lost my car to the accident and am now currently looking for another, which has made getting to work interesting. It's turned into a mess that's led to hours of phone calls and arguing with insurance people and quite frankly has left me pretty unambitious toward anything. Besides that, I'll be heading out into no-internet again, and really no computer at all so not going to be writing much. I suppose there is a tiny chance by some miracle I'll suddenly be overcome by the urge to write this weekend but I don't see it happening before I leave for nowheresville Monday. _

_I have to say I'm hesitating a little on whether to continue updating on this site. My other option has been to move the stories to my own personal website but I haven't quite decided on that yet. It would be for security perposes essentially. _

_Also, I suppose I owe an apology (or maybe I don't but I'll apologize anyway) for some of the content in some of the most recent chapters. It has been pointed out to me a few times that they were very violent. I realized that I have categorized this story as "Drama" when I suppose I could find something a bit more fitting to put it under. So maybe that's a little deceiving. I thought I mentioned in my note in the Prologue that there would be violence and some gore...but in case I'm going crazy and I didn't, **THERE WILL BE VIOLENCE AND SOME GORE. **_

_Violence. Lots of violence. Violence, violence, violence. It's rated 'M' for a reason. _

_It's what I write. It's my style, it's the type of content I prefer to write and that's probably not going to change. I also write long chapters and I've decided they are probably going to be long from here on out. I'm sorry if you find them hard to get through. Also, I've mentioned more than once this story is AU. **This story is AU**. Pretty soon I'm going to have to stop responding to messages pointing out the AUness with justifications and explanations for why it's AU. I hope this doesn't come out sounding terrible and like I am ungrateful for the readers I have and the reviews I get but I get the impression that a few of you just really aren't enjoying this story at all. And it's almost like you're forcing yourselves to like/read something you're really not that into. My stories aren't the short-winded, quickly written, super-duper happy-ending type, and sometimes they're AU! I'm sorry. _

_Take care all, _

_I'm in the process of replying to your reviews and I'll update when I can. _


	29. Chapter 24

_He__y everyone, I am back from the middle of nowhere and was finally able to get in some writing time over my holidays. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented on my note I had posted awhile back. Your comments were very encouraging and have made me feel much more confident about my decision on how to proceed with the story. So thank you. And thank you to all my reviewers as well :)_

Chapter XXIV

"Oh my god, Zack," Cloud exclaimed when he looked over the heavy bruising across Zack's shoulder and upper back. He moved to get a closer look at it but Zack was already turning toward him, hiding it from view.

"It's fine," Zack assured him, pulling a fresh shirt on. "I'm fine." The injury he'd sustained from a few nights previous was taking its time healing.

"It looks like it really hurts," Cloud said, wincing as he thought about it.

"It did when it happened but it's not so bad now," Zack replied honestly. He knew it probably had something to do with the drugs he was giving himself though.

"You didn't have to do it," Cloud said then after a moment. Zack looked back at him with a questioning gaze. "Mailer, the others," Cloud clarified.

"Yes, I did," Zack said back fast. "I promised myself I would, back at the mansion. It would have happened eventually," he explained. He could see the guilt in Cloud's face. "It was my choice," Zack said. "It wasn't because of you," he tried to assure his friend.

Cloud shot him a look of doubt. "It wasn't?" he retorted. Zack wanted to affirm what he'd said, but he didn't think he could speak with the conviction he wanted to. They both knew it had at least something to do with Cloud.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Zack pointed out. "It's over now."

"What about the Turks?" he asked uneasily, still a little shaken up by the previous day's encounter with them. He and Zack hadn't left the apartment after that brief confrontation.

Zack sighed and sat back down on the bed next to him. "I think they have a soft spot for you," he said with a brief smile. Cloud grimaced in return. "I'm not sure," Zack admitted.

"Should we at least go someplace else?" Cloud suggested.

"That'd be nice but we don't really have the money," Zack said back. He regretted immediately saying anything about the money situation. He could see the question forming on Cloud's lips and spoke before he could. "Which is why I should probably see if Shell's fired me for not showing up the last couple days," he said and got up from the bed.

Cloud watched him leave the room, confusion settling in him. When Zack had left the apartment he went to the dresser and opened the top drawer where they kept their money. When he found the roll he was shocked. What was there was just barely enough for the month's rent and food. It didn't make sense so he continued to search for the rest of the money, practically emptying the whole dresser, but he found nothing. He had no idea they were running so low or that the medications had been costing so much. He always just gave his earnings to Zack to put away. What worried him now was that the amount of money they had left was the result of both him and Zack working. What would that mean now that Zack was bringing home the only income?

000

Rude glanced at his watch and sighed a little impatiently. He glanced in the rear view mirror of his car and could finally see Reno coming from the convenience store where he'd been buying cigarettes.

"Took you long enough," he commented when Reno had gotten back into the passenger seat.

"So. Are we in a fucking hurry?" Reno snapped back. "It's not like we got anything planned for the day."

"Orders could still come in," Rude pointed out.

"Did you talk to her?" Reno questioned, unwrapping his new pack of cigarettes.

"Cissnei? Yeah, she hasn't heard from him," Rude answered a little solemnly. "No one has," he added.

None of the Turks, as far as they could tell had spoken to Tseng since the night before. It was mid-morning and there was no sign of him. For morning shifts, work orders were in by 6 a.m. With no one to tell them what to be doing, they were a little lost.

"We should call Elena. It's protocol," Rude stated, though he wasn't jumping to reach for his phone.

"Suit yourself. I ain't talking to her," Reno said as he prepared to light a cigarette.

"Hey," Rude said fast. "You know that shit's not allowed in my car."

"C'mon, man," Reno whined. "It's cold out today." Rude just shook his head stiffly. Groaning, Reno opened the door. "This is why taking _your _car sucks," he declared before getting out and shutting the door. While he was outside, Rude called Elena and she gave them their work orders for the day. He asked her if she knew Tseng's whereabouts but it seemed as though he'd vanished. Later that day they, Reno, Rude, and the others were all told Tseng was going to be on personal leave for an indeterminate amount of time. To say it was strange was a grave understatement but with Tseng not even answering his phone, there was nothing anyone was able to do about it for the time being.

000

Now that Zack was back home, and things were in what seemed like at least a temporary calm, Cloud felt he should question Zack about the pill bottle he'd found when he'd come home that one day from Tifa's. After realizing how much money they seemed to have lost over the last little while, he wanted to know if it was only to do with his medications or if it was something else. It was a few days after the latest Turk encounter that he decided to pose the question.

"Are you taking some kind of drug?" he'd asked while they were cleaning up after dinner. Zack didn't seem surprised by the question at all. He didn't even pause as he was washing the dishes in the sink. "Zack?" Cloud said, moving to stand next to him. Zack paused what he was doing but didn't look up.

"What?" he inquired with a bit of a laugh.

"Please, just tell me the truth," Cloud urged. "I won't be mad if you tell me," he assured him. "I just, I've noticed a difference in you and...Zack, are you?"

Zack looked at him finally. His face was serious and there was something in his eyes, something Cloud couldn't quite identify but he was sure he knew what Zack's answer would be. His friend smiled then and shook his head.

"No, Spike," he denied as though it was the silliest thing he'd heard in a long time.

And that was it. Zack handed him the wet dish in his hand and asked if he'd dry it and just like that the conversation was over and Cloud actually felt kind of like an idiot for having brought up his concern at all. Strangely, though, that night Zack was tossing and turning in bed and must have been having the worst nightmares he'd had in weeks. The following evening Zack seemed to be coming down with something. He came home from work a little pale and shaky and didn't eat dinner. He went to bed around seven and was asleep when Cloud got into bed a few hours later.

It was a little after midnight when Cloud woke again suddenly, though he wasn't sure why he'd woken up. It hadn't been from a bad dream, but once he was awake he had the feeling something wasn't right. He turned to look at Zack's side of the bed, only to find it empty.

"Zack," he said aloud as he sat up. He looked out through the open bedroom door to the dark living room for a moment before climbing from the bed.

He headed out of the room, his movements quiet, though he hadn't intended them to be. There was a little light coming from the bathroom, the door just slightly open. The uneasy feeling he'd had in the bedroom had amplified. He could hear Zack's slightly shaky breaths from the other side of the door and listened a moment. It was when he heard Zack's breathing stop after a short inhale that he put his hand to the door. With the tips of his fingers he pushed it open slowly and his eyes fell upon Zack where he was seated on the edge of the bathtub, the needle of a syringe embedded in his left arm and his right thumb on the plunger that was a mere second from being depressed, sending some kind of liquid rushing into his bloodstream.

Zack looked up fast, though below his head his body was frozen. His stomach sank as he met Cloud's shocked eyes.

"Oh...Zack," Cloud breathed out, shaking his head slowly before he began to take some steps back.

"Cloud," Zack called after him as he was disappearing from view. "Wait!" he pleaded and pulled the needle from his arm. He set the syringe on the edge of the tub hastily and stood up to go after his friend. Cloud had turned and was heading for the door to the apartment slowly, as if in a daze. "Wait!" Zack repeated several times as he reached out for Cloud, taking hold of his shoulder and then his arm as he continued to pull away and pursue the exit. When Cloud's hand took hold of the door knob, Zack stopped it with his own hand, preventing him from turning the knob.

"Let go," Cloud spoke softly without looking at him.

"Please, Spike, don't leave, please," Zack begged.

After a moment, Cloud pulled his hand back from the door, shaking Zack's own away. He turned angry and sad eyes his way. "I asked you," he began to say and Zack nodded, knowing already what his words would be. "I asked you if you were doing it and you said _no_!" he finished.

"I know," Zack replied, still nodding, but averting his eyes slightly.

"You lied to me, to my face, Zack," Cloud pointed out.

"I know," Zack repeated.

"Why would you think you could do that? Think that I wouldn't figure it out eventually?" Cloud blurted angrily.

"Cloud, I'm so—" he began to apologize.

"Why, Zack?" Cloud questioned sharply. Zack looked back at him with a pained and shameful expression and shook his head. "Why are you doing it?" Cloud asked next. "Why this?!"

"I can't stop," was all Zack could think to say. Though his heart hadn't been in it, he'd tried to go just one day without it and it had only shown him how dependent he really was.

"Why did you start?" Cloud asked him.

"He started it," Zack found himself barely whispering. He felt tears coming on. He felt something like a barrier crumbling in him. He'd been trying to hide his renewed addiction for weeks now but the secret was out and a grim thought was occurring to him suddenly. It was Hojo who had manipulated his body to become dependent on drugs and the fact he hadn't been able to overcome that somehow made it seem like he was still under the professor's control. The thought had him sinking to his knees on the floor. Cloud watched him for a few seconds before lowering himself down to the floor in front of him.

"Hojo?" he uttered sadly. "But you recovered. When you got us out of the mansion you said you beat the addiction."

Zack shook his head. "I guess there's a part of me that's been hooked this whole time. I don't know what to do now. "

"You have to stop," Cloud stated firmly.

"I don't know if I want it enough," Zack said back lowly.

Cloud looked back at him with his mouth agape in shock. "Well you can't want this," he argued. "It can't erase what's happened," he pointed out.

"I know," Zack agreed. "I'm not trying to," he added as he motioned to try and get up from the floor.

Cloud took hold of his arm and pulled him back. "What then?" he asked and Zack shook his head, trying to pull away. Cloud held on. "Zack, what?" he repeated.

"I just want to fix it," he answered at last.

"What?" Cloud said softly, shaking his head.

"All of it. I'm trying to do what's right and figure it all out—" his friend explained a little frantically, tears still flooding his eyes.

"You can't, Zack!" Cloud interrupted him. "You can't fix everything. Some things just can't be figured out. They don't have an answer."

"But that's all I know how to do," Zack said back fast. "I have to. I should have tried harder to figure out how to get out of the mansion. I should have figured it out sooner—should have figured out what Sephiroth was going to do in Nibelheim—"

"Zack, stop," Cloud cut in once again. "It wasn't your fault—" he started to say but Zack was rising from the floor fast.

"I was a First Class SOLDIER and I couldn't get us out of one goddamn building!" he almost shouted as he started heading for the bedroom.

Cloud went after him. "Yes, you did!" he called to him.

"No," Zack denied. "If it weren't for her we'd still be there," he pointed out from where he was now sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Who?" Cloud asked, not understanding.

"The doctor," Zack clarified without looking at him.

"What?" Cloud didn't remember anything from that day so he didn't know who Zack was referring to. Zack didn't answer him. He just sat staring at the floor ahead of him. After a few seconds he put his face in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees. Cloud sat down next to him. "You've always done what you could. You don't have anything to be ashamed of," he spoke quietly. Zack said nothing and didn't look up from his hands.

After a moment, Cloud got up again. He looked at Zack a few moments more before heading to the bathroom where Zack had left the syringe. He wanted to dispose of it before Zack had his hands on it again. While he was emptying the contents into the sink he heard the door to the apartment slam shut.

"Shit!" he exclaimed and shut the water off fast. He only glanced in the bedroom to confirm Zack wasn't there. He must have thrown on some pants and his boots, grabbed his coat and fled. He went after him, leaving the apartment and heading down to the street where he stopped and looked around but could see no sign of Zack. He called Zack's name a few times but he knew he was gone. He tried calling Zack's phone but his friend wouldn't answer.

He really expected Zack to be gone the rest of the night, gone to wherever it was he'd hidden away before but it was less than an hour before he returned. Cloud had been sitting in the dark watching television, too worried to try to sleep when Zack walked in the door. He seemed more at ease than when he left, no longer trembling and sweating, which could only mean one thing. He must have taken more of whatever drug he was on while he was out.

He didn't say anything before he approached the couch. Standing at the one end he spoke then. "I'm sorry I lied to you," he said softly and Cloud lowered his head slightly, trying to figure out just how mad he actually was about the whole thing. "I just..." Zack started to explain but hesitated. He scratched the back of his head a moment before moving to sit down next to him. "Every day I find myself wishing that I could go back and just...not have gone after Seph in that reactor in Nibelheim. Or just told you to leave the reactor and not fight him. Or that I had never brought you on that mission at all, and...a million other things even since getting back to Midgar," he divulged slowly. Cloud looked up at him and he shook his head. "I know I can't change what happened but there has to be something I can do now. I ruined your life, Cloud," he said sadly. "I ruined both our lives."

Zack was holding his head in his hand as he rested his elbow on the arm of the couch. He was staring ahead but not actually looking at anything. Cloud turned a little toward him.

"But...that's all my life is," he stated quietly. "I don't remember anything else." He knew that wasn't going to make Zack feel any better about it. "You didn't know what was going to happen at the reactor," he pointed out.

"That doesn't change the outcome," Zack retorted.

Cloud tried to think of something to say back, something to pull Zack back to life. He couldn't ever remember Zack in such a lost state. So seemingly hopeless. The words came to him then. "Zack, why did you want us to get out?" he asked plainly and Zack looked at him with a bit of a confused gaze. "Why did you want us to get out of that mansion?" he clarified.

It didn't take Zack long to come up with his answer. "So we'd be free," he said softly. "So Hojo wouldn't hurt us anymore. So he wouldn't turn us into monsters."

"That's what we have, Zack," he said firmly. "It's not perfect. But it's what we have."

Zack appeared to be taking in his words.

"You don't always have to figure everything out on your own," Cloud suggested after a few seconds of silence. "We can do it together once and awhile," he added. When Zack looked at him he tried to give him a reassuring smile. It wasn't one of his strongest expressions but Zack finally returned a small smile of his own. He didn't say 'Okay' or 'You're right' or anything of the like that Cloud was hoping for but said a simple 'Thanks.'

The subject had somewhat shifted off of the more important issue, which was Zack's drug use, but Cloud found it hard to bring up again. He got the impression, without Zack having to say anything that he knew just as well as Cloud it had to stop. When it would stop was the real question. Given all that had occurred in the past week, Cloud wasn't sure he wanted to push too hard to get Zack to throw himself into immediate withdrawal. It was important that Zack knew he knew what was going on. That was good enough for the time being. But the issue wasn't a closed case. It was one that would surely resurface in the very near future. He got Zack to agree to not inject anymore, to only take the pills if that's what he really had to do to function, but there was no way for him to be sure Zack wouldn't be going against his word when he was outside of the apartment.

Now that Cloud knew the truth about what had been going on with Zack, he was truly interested in seeing where it was his friend was obtaining a supply of both their drugs. So, the next time Zack announced he was heading up to the plate to visit his dealer for Cloud's medications, Cloud followed. He was eager to get out of the apartment, not having left for more than a few minutes at a time since the Turks had shown up the one morning. He ended up following Zack right to the front door of Scorch's club but was denied entry by the bouncer so he found himself standing outside waiting to see Zack reappear.

From the moment Zack entered the club he felt that there was something off. It was the way all of Scorch's men were looking at him. Like they knew something was coming that he had no idea about. When he walked into the room where he and Scorch did their business, his feeling of uneasiness only grew. Scorch's expression was neutral but his eyes were following Zack as he sat down with a kind of sharpness. Before Zack could say anything, the dealer spoke first.

"So. I think we have a bit of an issue that needs addressed," he announced and Zack stared back at him, knowing after only a second of thought what direction the conversation was about to go. Still, he was a little surprised at the suddenness of it since it was only fairly recently that Scorch had been running a tab for him for the drugs he was buying. However, the drugs he'd been buying were expensive, especially the Sirex, as he'd found out from Rayna one night.

"My debt?" he said in return and Scorch smiled.

"Aren't you smart?" he remarked. "Well, unfortunately it's time I collected."

Dread and confusion were what Zack felt immediately. "Why?" he questioned, trying to stay calm. He knew whatever the amount was he probably didn't have it.

"Well see, I have a hard time lending to people who take from me without offer," he said and it seemed like a strange comment to Zack until he noticed the expression on Rayna's face. She looked guilty and when he looked at her she quite obviously avoided making eye contact.

"I don't know what you—" Zack started to say but Scorch was quick to interject.

"You should be more careful about what you leave behind in certain places, Zackary," the dealer advised, his words taking Zack by surprise yet again. Scorch knew his name. But how? He had never revealed his name, not even to Rayna.

_What I left behind? _he questioned himself. It was clear Scorch was referring to something he'd left at Rayna's apartment. Something that identified him. It hit him then, a DNA sample would be easily obtained from a discarded condom. So not only did the dealer know what had been going on between him and Rayna, but he also knew his real identity.

"I'm willing to forgive the transgression," Scorch continued then. "Upon immediate repayment of what you owe me."

"You know I don't have it," Zack spoke back sharply. He felt himself getting heated and anxious, anticipating the possibility he may have to fight his way out of that room. It was a small room though, which was more of a challenge, especially surrounded by armed men.

"I do," Scorch replied with a slight nod, though it was clear there was some sort of plan in his mind that didn't involve simply killing him.

"So what do you want from me then?" Zack asked.

Scorch cleared his throat a little before answering. "The disgruntled former employee of mine who has been intercepting my shipments has surpassed my limit of tolerance. He needs taken out."

Zack processed quickly what the dealer was asking. "Don't you already have someone on your payroll who deals with this kind of thing?" he questioned.

"Yes, I did," Scorch spoke back. "And this man killed him." He smiled a little. "Not to worry, he should be no match for a SOLDIER. Especially one who can apparently rise from the dead."

Zack took in an unsteady breath. "What if I say no?" he asked.

"Well...that would be stupid. I assume you still require a supply of the drugs you came to me for. Forgetting that, if you won't take this task on then I won't really need you. You obviously can't repay what you owe. I won't give for free. I could kill you. Or turn you in to Shinra because I'm sure they'd find it quite interesting that you are very much alive. Or..." he nodded to one of his men who turned on what Zack had thought was a television sitting on a desk against the one wall. It was actually a monitor that displayed feed from several security cameras on different channels. When the channel was turned to feed from a camera somewhere out front of the bar he found himself looking at Cloud. He was standing a little aside from the line outside. The bouncer outside must have alerted Scorch to his presence, but why? Because they recognized him of course. Because Scorch now knew who they both were. "I could just kill _him_ right now if you don't agree."

Zack wasn't sure what was making him angrier at that moment. The fact Cloud had obviously followed him there, or that Scorch was trying to use him as leverage.

"Look on the bright side," Scorch said. "If you take care of this problem of mine, it's really a win-win scenario. My shipments are no longer interfered with and you and Cloud can go about living your little secret life." Zack was still watching the monitor. "I will even continue to do business with you, provided you can pay cash of course."

Those final words of Scorch were really the sealer of the deal. He had been willing to gamble with the chance he could get himself and Cloud away from the club alive but Cloud still needed those medications.

"Where and when?" he asked, finally looking at Scorch.

"Come here tomorrow at eleven and you'll get the details," the dealer said.

"Fine," Zack replied as steadily as he could. He was shaking with pent up anger and anxiety. He just wanted out of that room.

When he was allowed to leave, he made his way to the front door of the club fast. When he spotted Cloud outside he headed straight for him. Cloud looked about to say something but he didn't give him a chance before he grabbed Cloud's arm and pulled him down the street with him, away from the club entrance.

"God damn it, Cloud!" he almost yelled when they were a good distance away. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I followed you," Cloud replied.

"Yeah, got that! What the hell for?" Zack blasted back at him.

"I wanted to see where it is you have to go to get the medications," his friend explained.

"Why?" Zack shot back.

"Hey!" Rayna's voice called from behind them. "Wait! Zackary!"

"Who is she?" Cloud asked with clear confusion as to how she knew him.

"Nevermind. Walk ahead," he commanded firmly.

"Don't you dare use my fucking name!" he shot at her when he was close.

"I'm sorry," she began.

"You're sorry! For playing me?!" he shouted.

"No, that's not what I did," she argued.

"Go fuck yourself," he spat at her and turned to leave.

"Stop!" she urged as she grabbed his arm. "Look, Scorch asked me to get information on you, to find out who you really are—"

"Yeah figured as much," he said sharply, trying to leave again.

"But I didn't come through!" she announced fast, making him halt. "And when, when I didn't come through...He had one of his men search my apartment. That's where he found..."

"So, what?"

"So, I, look, I don't get..._feelings_ for people," she explained awkwardly. "But, for some reason, I have them for you."

"Oh yeah?" he asked after a short silence.

"Yes," she affirmed.

"Well. I don't have any for you," he said back icily before walking away.

When he met back up with Cloud, his friend was quick to question him.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I owe money to the dealer," Zack said back as calmly as he could.

"There's not enough at the apartment—" Cloud began to question but Zack stopped him.

"Not even close," he claimed.

"So, what does this mean?" Cloud asked next. "If you can't pay the debt."

"The dealer is going to zero the debt," Zack revealed to his surprise.

Cloud thought about it a moment. "He must want something in return," he said softly.

"Yeah, Cloud, he wants me to kill someone," Zack snapped back.

"What?!" Cloud exclaimed. "You're not going to do it?" It was more of a statement than a question but when Zack said nothing he turned to him incredulously, grabbing his arm and stopping him. "Zack, do you even know who this person is?" he asked.

Zack shook his head. "Some criminal," he replied simply and moved to keep walking. Cloud seized his arm and pulled him back to face him.

"You can't be serious about this!" Cloud found himself almost shouting.

"Yeah, I can, because it is serious!" Zack fired back at him. "There isn't really another choice." Cloud stood still a moment as Zack continued on ahead.

"Why? What does he have?" he called to Zack and his friend stopped.

"He knows who I am, Cloud. Who I _really _am. Who you are too," Zack called back.

"But...how?" Cloud inquired when he met back up with Zack.

"I was someplace I wasn't supposed to be and...whatever, it doesn't matter now," Zack explained awkwardly.

Cloud took a guess. "That girl?"

Zack didn't look like he was about to admit to anything.

"Wow," Cloud said as they continued down the street. "She must be pretty special if you'd pass up Aerith for her."

"You don't know anything about Aerith," Zack retorted.

"Well you sure talked about her enough in the past," Cloud pointed out. "Wasn't she reason you wanted to come back here to begin with?"

Zack was a little shocked. He didn't think Cloud would remember being told while in his coma after leaving the mansion that they were going to Midgar to find Aerith. He wasn't even sure he'd ever said it specifically to Cloud. That didn't negate its truth though. Not wanting to argue anymore, Zack just sighed and turned away, heading for the train station and assuming Cloud would follow behind him, which he did.

Cloud wasn't sure he actually believed Zack would go through with the plan to kill someone the following night until the time came for Zack to leave, at which point he tried to urge his friend to change his mind.

"You can't do this, Zack!" he found himself shouting in the apartment as Zack was putting on his boots. "Who cares if he knows who we are! What's he going to do? Shinra already knows we're here anyway!"

"What else am I supposed to do, Cloud? Without this guy, you wouldn't be walking around right now. You'd be suffering in agony from mako sickness, if even alive at all," Zack rationalized.

"There has to be some other way to get the meds," Cloud suggested.

"Not a chance I'm gonna take right now. It's just a job. I would have been doing the same shit in SOLDIER anyway," Zack spoke tonelessly, as if nothing about the prospect of killing someone for no real reason bothered him at all.

"Please, don't go." Cloud tried one more time to persuade him.

"I'll be back later," Zack assured him and opened the door to leave. He was a little startled when he found someone standing outside at the top of the stairs. It was Reno.

"You're not going to hit me are you?" the Turk asked with a tentative smile.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Zack said back, pulling the door to the apartment shut behind him.

The Turk's face became serious. "There's something I have to talk to you about," he announced.

"Unless you're going to tell me you weren't going to do what you came here to do a week ago, I don't wanna talk to you," Zack spoke back sharply.

"I—" Reno began but Zack cut in quickly.

"Come on. We both know the answer is 'yes.'"

"The answer is I don't know," Reno shot back almost angrily. "I don't know what I would have done. That's the truth."

Zack studied his expression a moment before he stepped past him to head down the stairs. "So, what did you come to talk about?" he inquired to Reno following behind him.

"Uh...well it's about Cloud," he started to explain. "That night, with that guard..."

"What about it?" Zack turned to face him when they were both at ground level.

Reno cleared his throat before going on. "Well I'm pretty sure Rude and I were the first people he ran into when he got out of that guy's apartment. Probably less than twenty minutes before."

"What?"

"Yeah, wasn't sure he'd have told you that," the Turk remarked with a shrug, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants. "We would have helped him out but he got away from us. Guess he didn't really trust us."

"Shocking," Zack commented but Reno ignored the sarcasm.

"Well before he took off," he went on, "I saw something and well I tried to talk to him about it a couple nights later when I ran into him at the bar." Zack shook his head in disbelief. He wasn't aware that Cloud had even been out of the apartment on his own except for the time it took for him to walk home alone from Tifa's. "He was kinda in denial which had me thinking he probably hasn't said anything to you. It's probably not something that should be kept secret—"

"Reno, get to a fucking point," he urged impatiently.

It seemed painful for the Turk to form the words. "Well that guard, I'm pretty sure he...that he, uh...forced—"

Wincing, Zack shook his head, knowing what he was getting at. "Why do you think that?" he asked.

"Well, there was blood," Reno stated uneasily. "It was just...kinda obvious, with the reaction he had to me seeing it. Pretty sure he's not happy I did. I wouldn't be either but—"

"Why do you even care?" Zack cut his ramble short.

It took Reno a moment to formulate his answer. When he spoke his eyes seemed to wander a little. "Those kinds of things just seem to have a way of eating up your insides when you try to pretend it didn't happen and you forget why it happened at all." He looked at Zack once more. "I just...wouldn't want him to think it was his fault or something."

There was a tense moment of silence when Zack had to fight back a rush of sudden emotion.

"I have someplace I need to be right now," he finally responded, averting his watery gaze.

"Yeah, fine, whatever," Reno said back with another shrug, looking downward. Zack just turned away from him and began to head away toward the front of the building.

He already knew the truth. He'd known it the moment he stood in the room at Tifa's, looked at the marks on Cloud's body and realized Mailer had been the one to have abducted Cloud for what had to be several horrible hours. He'd been able to tell himself his friend may have been able to fight the ex-guard off but when he'd confronted Mailer later, he knew his first conclusion to have been right. Mailer happily admitted to having raped Cloud for a second time. Zack hadn't been able to stop it and there was nothing he could think of to do about it besides what he'd already done. He didn't want to force the truth from Cloud when it wasn't necessary. He didn't need to hear him say it but he would be there for him if he ever wanted to.

Reno had only just gotten into his car and put the key in the ignition when there was a thud on the roof of the car just above him. At the same time, a figure had appeared at the driver's side.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Reno cursed before taking in a few quick breaths. Cloud's face was looking in at him from outside the car. Reno hit the steering wheel with his one hand before rolling the window down. "You scared the shit out of me, you know that?" he said. "What?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?" Cloud asked sharply.

Reno stared back at him blankly a moment, not sure what to say. He smiled then. "Just had a few things to discuss with Pretty Boy," he answered finally.

With a raised eyebrow Cloud said, "A _few _things? You mean one thing." Reno rolled his eyes and looked away.

"I got places to be, princess," he announced, turning the key in the ignition and then reaching to put the car in drive.

"You told Zack you and Rude ran into me that night on the plate, didn't you?" Cloud accused.

"I might have," Reno admitted, still not looking at him.

"What else did you tell him?" Cloud asked next. Reno was reluctant to answer.

"I gotta go, Cloud," he said, finally shifting into drive. Just as he took his foot off the brake, Cloud stepped in front of the vehicle and he was forced to press his foot down fast again. Cloud refused to move until he had put the car back in park. When he did so, Cloud went to the passenger side and opened the door before getting in. "You gotta be kidding," Reno said to himself. He was about to tell Cloud to get the hell out when Cloud spoke first.

"You had no right to tell him!" he almost shouted, turning toward the Turk. "It has nothing to do with you!"

"I just think—" Reno started to justify his actions.

"Nothing happened!" Cloud's voice finally reached shouting level. "Nothing," he repeated.

Reno nodded after a moment. "Sure," he said.

That was about the best Cloud could hope for from Reno. He settled himself in the passenger seat and faced forward. "Start driving," he ordered then.

"Excuse me?" Reno spoke back fast.

"You heard me," Cloud answered while putting on his seatbelt.

Reno laughed dryly. "Get the fuck out of my car," he said firmly.

"You wanted to involve yourself in my business!" Cloud shot at him. "So, here you go."

"I'm busy," Reno declared and Cloud gave him a look of clear doubt. "Fine," he gave in. "Where would we be going?" he asked in exasperation.

"The station in this sector on the plate," Cloud directed.

"Why?" Reno questioned with a shrug.

"Because that's where Zack's going to be getting off a train soon and I want to know where he's going," Cloud explained.

"Why didn't you just ask him? Is it supposed to be a fucking secret?" Reno said sharply.

"Why are we still fucking sitting here?" Cloud retorted.

Reno put up his hands in surrender and finally started the car moving. He drove them up to the station where they waited to see Zack departing the station for wherever he was headed. Reno tried to drive the car down parallel side streets to the ones Zack was walking so Zack wouldn't notice a vehicle following him. After a few minutes though it was apparent to Cloud he was headed for the club. When Zack entered the building he had Reno park the car to wait for him to come out again. He figured Zack would be in getting some form of directions or orders from the dealer.

000

When Zack entered Scorch's room in the club he noticed immediately Rayna wasn't present. It wasn't so much her absence that stood out as it was the fact that where she would normally be seated there was another woman in her place.

"So," Scorch said with amusement, "you showed up."

"There wasn't really a choice was there?" Zack replied bitterly. "The deal still stands?"

"Of course. You take care of this problem of mine and I'll take care of yours," the dealer assured.

"Fine," Zack said. "Where do you want me, and when?"

"Here," Scorch answered while sliding a piece of paper across the table to him. There was an address written on it. "One of my supply trucks is going to be running into some mechanical issues there at midnight. I'm confident that's when your target will make his intercept. He'll likely be wearing all black, his face covered. "

Zack nodded. "Vague," he pointed out and Scorch shrugged. "Where does the truck load up?" Zack inquired.

"Twelve blocks over, on Sill Street at a manufacturing plant."

"What number? And what time?"

"Forty-three, at quarter to." Scorch said.

"Tell your driver I'm going to be there," Zack ordered before standing up. He turned towards the door to see one of the guards holding a gun. It caught Zack by surprise, though he tried not to look it. It was pointed at him for a second or two before the guard flipped it and held it out for him to take.

"It's not a sword, but I imagine you'll manage," Scorch spoke from where he was still seated.

He took the gun, though he really couldn't imagine himself using it. He slipped it into the waistband of his pants at his back and hid it with his shirt. He didn't bother to look back or say any kind of farewell before leaving the club.

Back on the street, his mind began racing with thoughts of what may have happened to Rayna. He really wanted to feel nothing but anger toward her, yet he couldn't swallow down the worry and guilt he suddenly felt and he knew he had to find her, to make sure she was alright. He had time, so he headed for her apartment right away. Since she didn't live far, he was knocking at her door just five minutes later but it seemed she wasn't home.

"Rayna!" he called into the apartment before knocking a third time. When he still heard nothing he gave up, turning away from the door. He only made it a few steps before he could hear the sound of the chain from the lock rattling on the other side of the door. He placed himself in front of it again and it opened to reveal Rayna on the other side of the threshold. Zack had to admit he was relieved she was standing in front of him as he'd started to imagine maybe Scorch had done away with her. But what he found himself looking at was almost worse. It was obvious she'd been beaten pretty severely, her face so bruised and swollen she looked like someone completely different.

"Shouldn't you be somewhere?" she asked.

"I had a few minutes to spare," Zack replied, still in shock as he looked her over.

"And you chose to spend them here. I'm flattered," she threw back sarcastically.

"Can I come in?" he asked and she shrugged, stepping back and away from the door.

When he entered the apartment he could see it was in disarray, as if there had been a fight. "It happened here?" he questioned in surprise. "When?" he inquired next.

"Last night," she answered solemnly, sitting down on the end of the bed slowly. "Scorch kicked me out of the club after you left. When I came home he was waiting for me," she explained.

"Scorch?"

"No, one of his guys," she clarified. "You should know by now Scorch doesn't do much of his own dirty work."

Zack picked up one of the overturned chairs and righted it before seating himself in front of her.

"Why are you still here?" he asked. "You should be at a hospital."

"I'll live," she assured him.

He found himself boiling inside. He'd been angry at her, there was no doubt, but he could never lay a hand on her like that. His building emotion must have registered in his face.

"Don't," she said.

"Don't what?" he asked through half-gritted teeth.

"You know what," she answered. "I don't need chivalry and you don't need the hassle."

"Rayna—" he began to argue but she exhaled in a huff, rising from the bed painfully and walking over to the kitchen counter where her cigarettes were. He watched her light one with a bit of effort, her hand shaking a little.

"I'm sorry," he found himself saying.

"Don't worry about it," she replied without looking at him. "You have other shit to worry about right now," she pointed out.

He got up from where he was seated and moved toward her. "I'm sorry for the way I went off on you last night and I shouldn't have said..."

"What?" Rayna asked. "That you don't have feelings for me?" She looked him in the eyes then. "Why? Were you lying?"

He really didn't know how to answer her. "What are you doing for the swelling?" he asked instead and she tilted her chin toward the sink where a bag of frozen vegetables was lying. He picked it up and lightly pressed it to her left cheek. She winced a little and placed her one hand over his.

"I don't know how I feel," he finally admitted and her eyes met his. "I'm starting to think it's better to not feel at all," he added softly.

"I don't think you're the type to take the easy way out," she remarked with a light smile that he couldn't help but return.

"You can't stay here," he said seriously then.

"Oh, yeah?" she said back.

"I'll come get you later," he assured her and she smiled again.

"Right," she said flatly.

"I will," Zack affirmed. "After I finish dealing with Scorch's 'problem.'

"You're really gonna do it?" she asked and he nodded. "Do you have any idea who you're going after?"

"Some guy dressed head to toe in black apparently," Zack answered.

"His name's Blackjack," Rayna revealed and Zack couldn't help but laugh dryly.

"A great card player then," he joked but Rayna was serious. "Well, who is he then?"

"You've heard the phrase 'Jack of All Trades'?" she asked and he raised an eyebrow. "He's a Fixer."

"A what?"

"A Fixer. He fixes things. Situations. You need something done he gets it done. He's smart, he's quick, and he knows how to fight."

"Better than a SOLDIER?" Zack asked skeptically.

"He was a SOLDIER," she retorted. "That's the rumour anyway."

Zack thought about it a moment. "It doesn't matter. He won't see me coming."

"When was the last time you did someone in?" she asked oddly. Clearly she imagined it to have been longer ago than a week.

"I should go," was all he said in return.

000

"There he is," Cloud pointed out to Reno as Zack exited the apartment building where he'd stopped about ten minutes prior. When they'd followed Zack to the building, Cloud thought that may be where he was supposed to carry out his job for the night so he'd followed Zack in. When he realized Zack was only visiting that girl from the club, he'd gone back out to Reno's car.

"Follow him," Cloud ordered and with a sigh Reno complied. He pulled the car to a stop just down the street from a warehouse where Zack stopped and approached a box truck sitting at a loading dock. The truck was off but he appeared to be talking to someone in the driver's side. A moment later Zack entered the warehouse and the truck started up not long after. It wasn't going anywhere, however, as the driver got out and headed into the warehouse as well. Cloud wasn't sure what was going on but he was sure this wasn't the final stop for Zack. He believed wherever he was heading the truck was supposed to take him there.

Reno didn't hide his exhale of boredom as he looked at his watch for about the fifteenth time. He and Cloud had been sitting in his car for nearly twenty minutes staring at the warehouse. Ten minutes prior the door of the loading dock had opened and they could see boxes being loaded into the truck, but now it was just sitting there.

"Well, this is super-interesting," Reno remarked dully. "You think maybe you could get out of the car and watch the truck idle from the alley?" Cloud just shushed him in return. "There's really no reason to be all quiet," Reno pointed out. "It's not like they can hear us."

"Maybe I just don't want to hear you speak," Cloud suggested.

"Well maybe that's just too fucking bad since you're in _my _car," Reno shot back at him. Cloud rolled his eyes but he didn't reply. Reno watched his face a moment before looking back at the truck. "What's the deal anyway?"

"Meaning?"

"I get the feeling you're waiting for something in particular."

"Zack's going to try to kill someone tonight?" Cloud revealed without much hesitation.

"Try?" Reno replied.

"I'm going to stop him," he announced.

"Right," Reno scoffed. "And is this person another former Shinra guard?" he asked.

"No."

"Who then?"

"I don't know," Cloud admitted.

"Great," Reno spoke with an obvious lack of enthusiasm.

"What's _your_ deal tonight?" Cloud asked after a second of silence. "Did you really have nothing better to do than come to the slums to stir shit up?"

"Pretty much," Reno admitted. "I figured why not cross it off my list of things to do since it may be my last chance."

"Your last chance?" Cloud repeated in question.

"Well the way I see it, no one's heard from Tseng for over a week now, it's only a matter of time before the rest of us are sent on 'personal leave' for insubordination," Reno reasoned.

"You're saying he's missing?" Cloud spoke a little in surprise.

"Since the last night we visited you and Pretty Boy in the slums," Reno confirmed.

"And you think it's because of us?" Cloud said fast.

"I didn't say that," Reno denied.

Cloud was about to respond but stopped when he noticed the truck starting to move forward, pulling out of the dock. Zack exited the warehouse and climbed up into the back of it before the doors were shut and locked. Reno began following the truck before Cloud could tell him to. They followed it into the next sector, about ten minutes where it stopped rather abruptly at an intersection, even though the traffic light was obviously green. Reno pulled his car to a stop at the side of the road where they were and waited a moment. He and Cloud watched the truck's parking lights come on and finally the ignition shut off. The four-ways came on shortly after.

"What the hell?" Cloud uttered quietly.

"Engine trouble maybe," Reno remarked though his tone suggested he didn't really think that's what was going on. If the truck wasn't actually broken down, the driver and passenger were certainly pretending it was. They got out of the truck, the driver approaching the front to lift the hood. Reno shut off his car and reached into this jacket pocket, feeling his phone vibrating. There was a text message coming in and he could see he'd missed two calls. He remembered he'd put his phone on silent for incoming calls but it still vibrated for incoming texts. Both the calls and the text had come from Rude.

"Oh fuck," Reno uttered mostly under his breath after reading the text.

"What's your problem?" Cloud asked.

Reno reached for his binoculars in the backseat. When he couldn't feel them he turned in his seat and reached to brace his one hand on the back of the headrest on the passenger seat. His hand slipped at first and he pushed Cloud's head forward.

"What are you looking for?" Cloud asked in annoyance.

Reno had finally gotten hold of the binoculars. Without saying anything, he opened the door next to him and got out of the car.

"Wh—" Cloud started to question but the Turk was already on his way down the alley. Cloud went after him, finding him climbing a fire escape ladder to the roof of the one building. He followed, getting to the roof just seconds after him. From the rooftop he could see two vans stopping at the box truck.

"Look!" Cloud directed Reno to where several figures dressed completely in black were filing out of the vans with weapons. They advanced on the driver and his passenger while one headed for the back of the truck.

Reno wasn't looking at any of that though. He was busy watching the road ahead, the words from Rude's text running through his head. _Someone tipped off location of Fair somewhere on the plate. Turks on their way to make arrest_.


	30. Chapter 25

_Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. More to come soon if you're still interested. _

_Songs for the chapter: 1. Dig (Everything and Nothing Remix) - Mudvayne; 2. The Darkest Side - The Middle East; 3. Kiss Me Like You Mean It - Amy Kuney_

Chapter XXV

Zack's heart was beating in his chest so hard it actually hurt. The moment the truck had pulled to a stop he had stood up from where he was crouched amongst the cargo. He had been listening to the sounds of voices outside. He wasn't sure why but he had assumed his target, the so-called Blackjack was going to be alone. But of course he wasn't. It was only moments before he could hear the door being unlatched. He'd already pulled the gun and was holding it ready. He cocked it just before the doors were pulled open. He fully intended to begin shooting as soon as he could make the shot. As the night air burst into the truck, he locked his aim on the person ahead of him. He could tell the man was a little shocked. They were both still as they locked eyes. It hit Zack then, that pang somewhere inside him, a feeling of familiarity that had his arm beginning to lower without him even thinking about it. The man was masked. All he could see were his eyes, and yet he was sure he recognized him. A man, just a young man, who was once just a teenager at the SOLDIER Academy. Still only a teen when he was killed...

Suddenly, the man was ducking away. Something was going on. He could hear shouting and the sounds of doors shutting. He wasn't sure what was going on but he was very aware of the fact his hesitation in shooting had just meant a failed mission Scorch was probably going to be pretty unhappy about it. Quickly, he slipped the gun back in his waistband and began rummaging through the boxes around him frantically. Somewhere in there was Cloud's medication. He'd seen the boxes being loaded.

"What is that?" Cloud questioned on the rooftop where he was standing with Reno. He'd just watched the vans take off away from the box truck and the driver and passenger had run off as well, leaving Zack on his own. In the distance he could see two black vehicles approaching. One was a car and the other an SUV.

"Turks," Reno said as he lowered his binoculars. "They're coming to arrest pretty boy."

"What?!" Cloud exclaimed in shock following after Reno as he headed for the fire escape ladder back to the ground. "We have to get to Zack first!" he called.

"You should just jet out of here, baby boy, they aren't coming for you. They don't even know you're here," Reno suggested when he touched down on the pavement.

"No way!" Cloud protested. "I'm not leaving Zack! Come on, you can get us out of here in your car," he urged, making a move to start running to where they'd left the car. He stopped fast when he realized Reno was just standing there. "Reno!" he called urgently.

"I can't," Reno said back and Cloud approached him again.

"Yes, you can—" he started to argue.

"No!" Reno snapped almost angrily. "I can't be seen by the others with you and Zack, Cloud!"

"Reno—" Cloud began to plead but the Turk shook his head.

"Take my car," he instructed then. "The keys are in it, go!" he pushed, pivoting to leave in the opposite direction.

"But—" Cloud tried once more.

"It's _all _I can do!" Reno yelled back at him. "I'm sorry," he added before he was disappearing down the alley.

"Shit!" Cloud cursed once before he gave up on Reno and made his way quickly to the Turk's car. He couldn't remember when he'd last driven a vehicle, or if he even knew how but he knew he'd figure it out because he had to. He was only going down the street anyway. The incoming Turks were already in the rear view mirror when he pulled up to the back of the truck. Zack was jumping out the back of it with a small box under his one arm. Cloud called out his name from the driver's side window and Zack stared through the windshield in shock.

"Cloud?" he questioned.

"Turks are coming!" he shouted anxiously and Zack was quick to come to the door. Cloud moved over into the passenger side so Zack could drive. Zack handed him the box he was holding and told him to put it on the floor. He started the car moving fast, though the Turks were already too close for comfort.

"What are you doing here?" Zack asked, the familiar hint of annoyance Cloud was used to from him.

"Later!" Cloud shot back at him.

"Is this Reno's car?" Zack said then as he glanced around the vehicle. "What the hell is going on, Cloud?" he demanded to know.

"We followed you here," Cloud explained. "You can be mad about it later," he added fast. "Reno must have got a message from someone, probably Rude. Turks are coming to arrest you."

"How'd they know where I would be?" Zack asked and Cloud shook his head. "They're right behind us," Zack said then when he looked back in the mirrors.

"Can we lose them?" Cloud questioned.

"We're sure as hell gonna try," Zack replied as calmly as he could. He drove as fast as possible through the streets. Luckily it wasn't a part of the sector with a lot of night activity. Still, he had to avoid a few cars by driving in the oncoming traffic lane. They were headed toward the edge of the sector when a third black vehicle, a car, joined the others behind them. The chase at that point had gone on just under ten minutes but until that third vehicle showed up, it had almost been as though they were just being followed very closely. The moment that car arrived, the other two peeled off to the left on another street.

"What the fuck is going on?" Zack questioned aloud, alternating between watching the road ahead and the car still behind them.

Just moments later, the car that had peeled off reappeared when it skidded out from one of the adjacent roads right ahead of them and slammed on its breaks, forcing Zack to do the same. Cloud looked to the left and saw the black SUV heading straight for the driver's side of the vehicle from the street the other vehicle had just come. "ZACK!" he shouted by way of warning but there wasn't anything Zack could do. The SUV slammed Reno's car, pushing it across the cement as the sounds of tires screeching, busting glass and crushing metal filled the area. The car was stopped abruptly when it was jammed up against a parked vehicle on the side o f the street. Cloud's head connected with the window in the door at his side and his shoulder and right knee slammed against the door. When they'd stopped moving he reached a hand to his head, not sure how bad he'd just hit it. It hurt a lot. He heard Zack coughing but before he could check his condition or say anything the busted driver's side door was being pried open and two Turks were reaching in. Cloud looked over then to see Zack being pulled out of the car. He reached his hands out fast to try and grab hold of him, but it was too late.

Zack groaned in protest and pain as he was dragged back from the vehicle, watching it with slightly blurred vision as he tried to get his senses back. His left shoulder felt like it was on fire. He hadn't fully recovered yet from the injury he'd received at the warehouse and it was like being hit by that massive hook all over again. He could barely think straight for a moment after being pulled from the vehicle but he realized soon enough who had a hold of him. The two Turks had his arms but as he began to struggle against them he slipped from their grip and his back hit the asphalt. One of the Turks appeared in front of him and reached down to grab hold of him again. He lifted his one leg fast and kicked the Turk back, giving him just enough time to reach for the gun he still had in his waistband. It made little difference as he didn't even get a chance to fire before the gun was kicked out of his hand by the second Turk. Before he could make another move the Turk aimed his own gun down at him and without hesitation fired.

The bullet hit him in his chest. No, not a bullet. A dart. He really didn't get much of a look at it before he was slipping very suddenly into unconsciousness.

Back at the car, before Cloud had been able to make any real attempts to move, a Turk had gotten into the driver's side of the vehicle and pulled the smashed up door closed the best he could. A second Turk had climbed into the back and all within 20 seconds or so the vehicle was moving again. It only took a few moments for Cloud to make the decision to jump from the moving car. He didn't care how fast it was going. He grabbed the handle next to him and pushed the door open. The Turk in the backseat was fast to try and stop him, circling an arm around him from behind, but Cloud grabbed his arm and threw himself forward, pulling the Turk with him, the man must have smacked his face good on the back of the headrest. The Turk's arm slackened and Cloud ripped himself away from it, kicking the door open a second time and attempting to jump once more. He felt the Turk in the driver's side try to grab hold of him but caught a bit of his shirt only briefly as he was leaping from the vehicle.

He hit the asphalt hard and rolled a few times before coming to a stop. He heard the screeching of the car's tires just ahead as it was brought to an abrupt halt. He pulled himself to a stand and moved to run. Behind him, the car was reversing fast. It only took a second to catch up to him. Suddenly, the bumper was hitting the backs of his legs, throwing him forward and back onto the ground. The car was stopped before it ran over him completely. He wasn't able to lift himself up as quickly the second time. He had just scrambled to his feet when the Turks had gotten out of the car. He was just out of their reach as he started into a run again but he didn't make it very far before he felt something pierce the back of his shoulder. He reached back to feel for what it was and touched the end of a dart. Gripping it hard he pulled it from his shoulder. He realized with horror he'd been tranquilized when he was only able to make a few more strides before he felt his knees becoming weak and his whole body getting heavy. He hit the ground once more on his knees and his upper body followed fast. In just seconds he felt completely paralyzed and his consciousness started to fade away.

Just before passing out, he heard some sort of commotion. Gunshots were fired and a Turk fell next to him with what looked like the shaft of a crossbow bolt protruding from his chest. That was the image he was left with as he closed his eyes one last time and slipped into darkness.

000

Before Zack had even opened his eyes, upon coming back to consciousness, he was immediately aware of a heavy pain in his chest and found it nearly impossible to take in a good breath of air without feeling as though he was being suffocated. When he finally did open his eyes he couldn't tell where he was. He was lying down on what could have been a cot. He didn't recognize the ceiling above him.

"Wh-wh," he struggled to speak but found himself having to stop to take in one short, strangled inhale after another. He heard the sound of footsteps and a figure appeared over him, a familiar face looking down at him while he forced his heavy eyelids open to look back up at him.

"Hello, Officer Fair," the man spoke.

"Cadet Six," Zack managed to get out. Of course, the man wasn't a cadet in the SOLDIER Academy anymore. He wasn't really anything anymore, but he had been a First Class Private in the Shinra Army. PFC Johnny Six. "You're dead," Zack marvelled.

"So are you," Johnny said back.

Zack found himself trying to hold back the urge to cough. He just couldn't get in a good breath. The need to fill his lungs with oxygen and being unable to do so was so painfully uncomfortable it had him almost panicking.

"The tranquilizer you were shot with was injected partially into your lung tissue and it's affecting your respiratory system," Johnny explained. "You should recover fully in a few hours."

"Cl-Cloud," Zack stuttered out. "Where is he?" he asked.

"Here," Johnny replied, nodding his head to someplace nearby.

"I want to see him," Zack said as he tried to lift his own head and shoulders, only to find them to be terribly heavy and achy. Johnny placed a hand under his head and helped him lift it enough to see where Cloud was lying on another cot, apparently still unconscious. "Okay," Zack breathed out as he lay back down and tried to calm himself. He and Cloud were safe. The Turks hadn't captured them. Everything had happened so quickly he hadn't really felt the fear of the possibility they'd be caught, but he felt it now. They'd had an incredibly close call. If it weren't for Johnny...Johnny. Was he really the man Scorch had sent him to kill? What were the odds of that? Especially since Johnny was supposed to be dead.

"H-help me s-sit up," he said to Johnny. His whole body hurt as he he was sitting he found it a little easier to breathe and was finally able to get a better look at the former army man. There were definitely things about him that had changed. He looked at least a decade older, even though it had only been about four years since Zack last saw him. Several small scars were visible on his face and neck from what he could see. Johnny's hair was longer now than he'd seen it before and it hid most of his forehead and some of the sides of his neck. "I need air," he rasped, trying to stand up. His mind was reeling over everything that had just happened and what was happening now.

Johnny helped him stand and walked him out of the room into a larger one that looked to be a living room, though there was no furniture to define it as such. It occurred to Zack suddenly that the only light in the rooms were coming from candles and old lamps.

"You live here?" he remarked.

"I stay here when I need to," Johnny answered simply. "Most nights I stay outside the city if it's warm."Only in the past few days had the cold from the approaching winter started to set in.

Johnny led Zack over to some glass doors that he opened to reveal a stone balcony that faced a wide open view of land. Wherever they were, it had to be the very edge of the city.

"Are we on the plate?" Zack asked, though they had to be. Nothing but sky above. "I didn't know there were buildings like this anymore," he added. The building was brick. It had to be one of the first built on the plate before new contemporary and industrial designs were adopted. Buildings like it were only found in the slums, so Zack had thought.

"This one's slated for demolition," Johnny said as he let Zack go at the railing on the balcony and rested his forearms on it. Zack leaned on it and watched Johnny a moment in awe.

The last time he'd seen Johnny it was during the viewing of a presumed execution video. He and a fellow soldier, Gary Alden, had been executed by Wutaian rebels about a month after being captured on a mission in Wutai. There had been no way of positively identifying either Johnny or Gary though as their faces had been covered during the execution and the video footage unclear. Video experts deemed the footage legitimate and Shinra declared Johnny and Gary officially deceased.

"What in the hell happened to you?" Zack asked. "Obviously you weren't executed as everyone thought."

Johnny looked back at him a moment before answering. "I don't know who was executed in mine and Gary's places. I assume they were Wutaian soldiers. Gary and I were gone by then, taken to a small island off the main coast."

"Imprisoned?" Zack questioned.

"In a way," Johnny answered. "The first few weeks we were caged with the others. After that we were allowed to wander. There was nowhere to go. No way off the island. Only one village. The conditions on the island were pretty harsh."

"There were others? Shinra troops?" Zack said in surprise.

"A few," Johnny confirmed. "There was a reporter that had been captured. Some civilians and some Wutaian troops."

"How long were you there?" Zack spoke in slight wonder.

"Almost three years," Johnny revealed.

"Did you try to escape?" was Zack's next question. In the back of his mind were the memories of the times he and Cloud had tried to escape from the Shinra Mansion.

Johnny thought about and spoke softly. "Just once. I left the village and went into the forest. I was out on my own about a week. I fell down an embankment and cut up my leg. The wound became infected pretty quickly and within a few days I was delirious. The village fishermen found me on the beach one morning unconscious and took me back. It was a few weeks before I could walk again, and a month had passed by the time I was strong enough to leave the house I was kept in. After that I just...made the best of what I could."

"Made the best," Zack repeated his words, not really understanding.

"It was just a village of regular people. There were guards but...for the most part the people treated us like we were visitors. We worked. They taught us to hunt, to farm, to fish, to build and repair the houses...to fight like traditional Wutaian warriors."

"Sounds fantastic," Zack said a little sarcastically, thinking of how his and Cloud's captivity was nothing like that. "Why leave?"

Johnny smiled a little. "It wasn't all bad, but it wasn't all good either," he stated. "We were still just outsiders and it wasn't freedom."

Zack nodded in understanding. "How'd you get away?" he asked.

"I stole a boat," he said as though it were obvious.

"Why didn't you just do that to begin with?" Zack said back sharply.

"It took a certain amount of planning and convincing certain people I was trustworthy," Johnny explained.

"Did Gary come back with you too?" Zack wondered then.

Johnny shook his head but didn't say anything. The answer was pretty obvious. Gary hadn't been alive when Johnny left.

"What happened to him," Zack asked as he looked down at the floor.

"He left his spirit in Wutai the day we were shipped to the island," was Johnny's only answer.

There was a bit of silence before Zack asked "Why'd you come back to Midgar?"

Johnny shrugged. "It's the only place I've ever considered home I guess."

"I guess I know the feeling," Zack said before attempting a deeper breath. He looked back the way they'd come through the living room and into the room where Cloud was still unconscious. Johnny followed his eyes.

"It's good to see him," he said quietly. "When I read what happened in Nibelheim...I was...disappointed," he explained. Zack nodded. "Where did they hide you?" he asked then and Zack grimaced.

"Just outside Nibelheim," he answered sadly. "In the 'custody' of Professor Hojo."

Johnny nodded. "For how long?"

"Four years," Zack revealed. "Until we were saved by a doctor who used to work for Hojo."

"That's lucky."

"No," Zack denied. "It was Cloud. She always felt bad, because of him. I could see it in the way she looked at him."

"Was it like the stories?" Johnny asked then and Zack looked at him.

"No. It was hell," he clarified before taking a slow breath and shaking his head. "Cloud would have been so happy to see you. It was hard for him when they declared you dead."

Zack was shamed to think of it. When Johnny had been declared officially dead Cloud had refused to believe it. He thought the execution video to have been faked and he'd been right. Zack had been the one to finally convince him otherwise.

"Would have been?" Johnny said back in confusion.

Zack sighed, rubbing at his chest a little where he'd been shot with the tranquilizer. It still felt sore and tight, though his breathing was becoming easier. "He has no memory of anything before our capture," he replied. "He has no idea he was ever in the army."

"Hasn't he asked about his past before what happened in Nibelheim?" Johnny questioned as he stood straight and crossed his arms. Zack nodded. "What did you tell him?"

"He thinks he was a First Class SOLDIER."

"You told him that?" Johnny asked.

"I didn't tell him otherwise," Zack explained. Johnny just looked back at him a moment before he turned to look out on the dark horizon again. When Johnny didn't say anything Zack asked "Don't you want to know why?"

Johnny shook his head. "Not really."

It was an answer Zack couldn't really accept. He felt the need to explain. "The last four years were nothing but pain and fear. Cloud lost his family and his home in that fire in Nibelheim. He nearly lost his life in the reactor and he lost his freedom that night. And over the next four years I watched him lose himself, his memories, his innocence. The shit Hojo did to him put him in a coma for months and when he finally woke, when what he thought were memories were coming back to him, I couldn't tell him what he believed wasn't true. In his mind he was a SOLDIER and his family's alive. Am I supposed to kill his dreams and his mother all over again?

Johnny wasn't looking at him. Zack had the feeling his explanation had really meant nothing. Maybe because he had a hard time believing his own words.

"He's a lot stronger than you give him credit for," was Johnny's response.

"No," Zack denied. "I know better than anyone how strong he is, but he's not the same. He's sick, he needs to take medications to function, he—"

Suddenly, Zack remembered something. The medications he'd taken from the truck. They'd been in Reno's car and no doubt that's where they still were.

"Shit!" he exclaimed quietly to himself, slouching to his elbows on the balcony railing in front of him. "The medications..." he uttered sadly, knowing how difficult it would be to get a hold of them now that he couldn't go to Scorch.

Johnny stepped away from the balcony. Zack was too busy being consumed by his ponderings over how to figure the situation out that he didn't bother to turn to see where he was heading. He returned a minute later, setting a box down on the thick railing next to Zack. Zack recognized it immediately.

"Are you—" Zack stuttered out in surprise. "Are you serious? I can't believe you—"

"Is that what you got involved with Scorch for?" Johnny asked before reaching into his pocket. "Or was it this?" He set a bottle down on the railing. Sirex. "Pretty _weak_ behaviour for a SOLDIER," Johnny said and Zack scoffed.

"That's funny coming from you, Six," he responded fast.

"Running's not the same as using," Johnny defended calmly.

"You dropped, I know that," Zack shot back in annoyance.

"Mm, okay," Johnny said before he turned to go back inside the apartment.

"Did you really claw your way back to Midgar from life as a POW just to run for another dealer?" Zack called after him.

Zack wasn't sure why he was so angry so suddenly. He knew Johnny didn't deserve his anger. Johnny had saved his and Cloud's lives. If he'd shot Johnny it would have been a very different outcome.

"I don't work for Scorch," Johnny argued as he faced Zack again.

"Oh, right, you're a _fixer_, I forgot."

Johnny sighed a little. "Who said that?" he asked.

"One of his other employees. She said you 'fix situations'." Zack revealed.

"I don't work for Scorch," Johnny repeated.

"But you did," Zack argued.

"I don't work for anyone," Johnny denied. "I do jobs for a number of people."

"And what jobs does a fixer do?" Zack asked curiously.

"Whatever the person pays for." Zack raised an eyebrow and Johnny smiled ironically. "Those days are long gone," Johnny said before shaking his head slowly. "Scorch's real name is Robert Inger. I met him years ago when I was pushing."

"The competition?" Zack asked.

"He gave me three cracked ribs and a concussion for dealing in his zone when I was fourteen."

Zack wasn't completely surprised to hear it. Scorch certainly seemed ruthless. He'd had one of his men beat a woman black and blue in her apartment. Why wouldn't he do the same to a kid?

"I didn't know who I was doing a job for when I was contacted by one of his men and he didn't know who he was hiring," Johnny continued. When I met with him for payment and he saw who I was he refused to pay. I warned him if he didn't pay I'd make business difficult for him."

"So he sent someone to take you out," Zack stated.

"Twice apparently," Johnny replied. There was no doubt that Zack felt shame for it. "Why'd you agree to do it?" Johnny asked after a moment of silence.

Zack shook his head sadly. "There wasn't a choice," he said simply but decided to elaborate when Johnny looked at him expectantly. He started at the beginning, sort of.

"He has mako sickness," he began. "Cloud. When we were held captive we were exposed to mako in various forms. A lot of mako. Sometimes raw. Towards the end, Cloud was being given so much he became poisoned and that's what sent him into a coma. He came out of the coma after we'd escaped but he was still sick and couldn't remember anything. I got hold of the medications for treating the sickness but his exposure had been too great and the drugs became ineffective. A doctor told me to try this." He nodded his head toward the box. "I heard Scorch was the only one who could get it..."

"It wasn't enough," Johnny said and Zack looked at him a little confused. "He needed you on another hook," he clarified.

Zack gave a slight nod. "I knew what he was trying to do," he said sadly. "He got me to owe him. But it's more than that. It's this," he claimed, looking at Cloud's medications. "Without it..." He shook his head. "Doesn't really matter. Won't be going back to Scorch now."

"There are other ways. Scorch doesn't manufacture the medications himself," Johnny pointed out. "What happens if Cloud doesn't take it?" he asked then.

Zack thought back on what it had been like. It wasn't that long ago, though every day in the slums since they'd been back had felt like years. "It's begins almost like a flu. He sweats and trembles while his muscles start to get weak. After a few hours they begin to cramp and stiffen. Paralysis starts to set in while trembling becomes shaking. Soon after he can't keep anything in his stomach. He throws up. Bile at first, then blood. A fever takes over and drags him into a nearly continuous unconsciousness. When he wakes he hallucinates and when he sleeps he has nightmares, leaving him tossing and turning. Without intervention, his organs begin to fail, he seizes and his breathing becomes laboured as his heart slows...He wasn't supposed to need the medications after this long but I guess there's just too much mako in his system. The drugs give him hallucinations, which he needs other medications to combat."

He left out the other part. The Jenova part. For some reason she seemed to show herself only when Cloud was overcome by the sickness, or possibly during the hallucinations he'd had as a result of the medications. Maybe she needed Cloud to be physically weak for her to have any influence on him. He hadn't contemplated it much.

"What kind of hallucinations?" Johnny asked.

"I dunno. He would never really talk about it. He said he saw Sephiroth a few times," Zack explained.

"The general."

"Yeah," Zack confirmed.

"I can help you get the medications," Johnny said after a moment.

Zack stared back at him a few seconds before shaking his head. "No, it's too much of a risk—"

"It's not. I know people," Johnny argued. Of course he would. Johnny had been involved in the world of drugs from a young age. It made sense that he had connections.

Zack nodded finally. "That would be great," he said softly. He thought for a moment. "There's something I need to ask of you and I'm sorry it's going to be entirely out of line, especially after what you did for us tonight but...I don't want Cloud to see you, Six."

He felt like an asshole the second the words left his mouth. He watched to see what Johnny's reaction would be. He kind of expected the ex-cadet to tell him to fuck himself.

"Hmph," was all he verbally responded with at first as he looked upwards. If the request made him angry it was difficult to tell.

"I'm sorry, Six. I know it's a terrible thing to ask. I've been lying to Cloud so often I can barely keep up and I-I know one day it will hurt me and him if I don't come clean but I, right now I just have to—"

"You want me to leave?" Johnny interrupted. His tone was unexpectedly calm and accepting which surprised Zack yet again. "So I'm not here when he wakes up, which should be soon."

"Yeah," Zack answered softly. "That would be great." Johnny nodded once and started to head back inside.

"You're welcome to stay the night," he offered without looking back.

"Six," Zack called and Johnny looked back briefly. "How will I find you for..."

"Here. I'll be here for the winter," he said before disappearing back into the apartment.

It wasn't long after Johnny left that Cloud woke, just as confused as Zack had been, wondering where they'd ended up. Zack told him the truth for the most part, that Blackjack, the man he'd been sent to kill,, had saved them from the Turks and brought them to that location.

"Why would he do that?" Cloud asked expectedly. "Help us after you tried to kill him?"

"He used to be a SOLDIER," Zack lied, providing the rumor Rayna had first supplied.

"So you know him?" Cloud spoke with a little surprise. "Do I know him?"

Zack shook his head. "You never worked together," Zack said simply while he pushed through some of the hair at the side of Cloud's head. When he woke up he said it hurt a lot, saying he'd hit it against the window in Reno's car. He located the spot quickly enough. He used a flashlight he'd found nearby to illuminate the area. It was swollen and bruised. "Yeah, you hit it good." Zack announced. "Look at me," he instructed. He used the flashlight to check his friend's pupils. He wasn't surprised they didn't react to the light. "We have a winner," he joked a little.

"I'm alright," Cloud insisted.

"You're concussed," Zack retorted. "You think you'll be alright to walk?" he asked and Cloud nodded. They didn't have very far to go. Zack had gotten a pretty good idea of where they were on the plate. He didn't want to risk going to the train station in case more Turks were waiting for them so he did the next thing that came to mind and called Kunsel, asking him to meet them not far from Johnny's.

"We should go then," Zack suggested.

"What about Blackjack?" Cloud asked.

"I already thanked him," Zack replied as he urged Cloud along. He had someplace to go before they headed back to the slums. He just hoped he wasn't too late. Cloud caught on fairly quickly as to where they were going as well but said nothing. When they neared their destination they could see Kunsel's car from down the street, illuminated by one of the street lights. When they reached it, Kunsel practically jumped out of the driver's side and hugged Zack tightly, surprising him a little.

"I'm so glad you guys are okay," Kunsel said as he stepped back once more. "Are you sure you want to go back to the apartment? There's probably someplace safer I could take you—"he began.

"No place is completely safe anymore," Zack cut in. "We never really were safe," he added, thinking of how quickly Tseng and the others had located him and Cloud . "Here," he said then as he passed the box of medication over to Cloud. "Wait here," he instructed. "I'll be back in a minute."

"Where are you going?" Kunsel was quick to question.

"There's something I have to check on," he answered vaguely as he headed for the door to a nearby apartment building. Kunsel watched after him a moment in confusion while Cloud just sighed and got in the passenger side of Kunsel's car.

Zack knew he was beyond a little late, but he'd told Rayna he would come back for her when he'd finished the job Scorch gave him and he hoped she would have believed him.

When he approached her apartment unit he could see the door was partly open and it struck him with an immediate uneasy feeling. He peered through the space between the door and the frame before pushing the door open. Everything looked the way it had when he'd been there earlier except that there were some packed bags near the bed and an eerie silence resting upon the room.

"Rayna!" he called out as he raced for the bathroom, already knowing she wasn't in the apartment. He was too late. Scorch or one of his men had already come after her, maybe to finish the job he'd started, or maybe because of him. For failing to kill Johnny. He shook his head as he turned away from the empty bathroom. He was surprised when he turned around to see Rayna coming through the apartment door. "Rayna," he said her name with an exhale of relief.

"You came back," she said.

"Where were you?" he asked. "The door was open, I thought—"

"Door's broken," she said back, shutting the door behind her. It began to ease itself open again when she let go of the knob. "Only stays shut when it's locked," she explained. "I just stepped out for some cigarettes. For the ride."

"Ride?" he repeated.

"Yeah," she spoke as she moved slowly toward her bags. "I was going to head to the bus station. I didn't think you'd be coming back," she divulged.

"I said I would," he pointed out.

"I know, I..."

He took a few steps toward her. "What?" he asked.

She looked at him straight. "I thought you'd be dead." He smiled a little uneasily. "You killed Blackjack?" she asked then and he shook his head.

"No, he's still out there," he said.

Rayna nodded, looking down. "Zackary—" she began and he interrupted.

"It's Zack," he corrected. She gave a bit of a forced smile in acknowledgement.

"I have to go," she said.

"I know," he agreed. "That's why I came."

"Zack," she began and Zack knew where she was heading.

"Come on," he said as he reached for one of her bags.

"Stop," she said softly, putting her hand on his as he grasped the handle of the bag.

"What?" he spoke back.

"Just...don't," she urged and he let the bag go. "You don't have to do this. I never expected you to—"

"Rayna—" he tried to cut in.

"No!" she shouted unexpectedly. She took a few quick breaths. "This is really hard for me."

"What is?" he asked.

"I take care of myself. I've always taken care of myself. I had a good thing going. Scorch thought he had me under his thumb but I used the son of a bitch and I got what I wanted. And then you came along and fucked it all up," she declared. "I've never told anyone how I felt about them and meant it. Until you." Zack looked away a little shamefully, focusing on the fragments from a broken plate on the kitchen floor. "I really don't know what to do with that," she said sadly.

"I'm sorry," he said, meeting her eyes once more. "I'm sorry for ruining things for you. And I'm sorry for all that's happened because of me." Her bruised face was evidence of the trouble he'd caused for her. "I used you," he admitted. "And you don't deserve that. You didn't deserve any of this," he said as he looked around. "I want to make it right," he claimed.

She shook her head. "I don't need to be taken care of. I don't want that," she said. She watched him a moment, waiting for his response. After a few seconds of silence she looked away. "I have to go," she said. This time she reached for her bags.

"I don't want you to go," Zack finally spoke and she looked up at him. "I don't know what else I can say but that I don't want you to leave."

That answer clearly didn't satisfy her. She released a light scoff and reached again for her life that was packed away in two bags. She took hold of them and stood straight. She didn't look at him again as she turned to head to the door.

"Please," he said softly and she paused.

She looked back at him. "Would you do something for me?" she asked and he nodded. "Kiss me."

It seemed an odd request. "Okay," he agreed, coming towards her.

"Not like before," she said and he hesitated. It took him a moment but he knew what she was meaning. All their kisses in the past had been fueled by lust or narcotics. She wanted something more real. Just a plain kiss.

"Alright," he agreed, coming to stand in front of her. She put down her bags before straightening in front of him and waiting. He started by lifting a hand to brush back some of the hair from her face so he could see both her eyes clearly. He kept his touch gentle. Her face was so terribly bruised. His hand lingered in the hair at the side of her head as he lifted his other one and placed it on the other side of her head. He looked at her a few long seconds, staring deep into her eyes, like gazing into the hollows of a dark forest. It was so vivid he could almost feel himself getting lost.

Ever so slightly, he tilted her head a little with his hands as he lowered his own toward her. He watched her eyes close before shutting his own and his lips touched hers tentatively at first. He felt her breath whispering across his skin before he pressed his mouth a little more tightly to hers. A rush of warmth went through him and he deepened the kiss a little. Part of him wanted to go farther with it but that's not what she'd asked for. When he pulled back her eyes stayed closed a moment while he held on to her with his hands.

"Come with me?" he asked when she remained silent. Her eyes opened then and her expression was unreadable at first.

Then it seemed as though a weight was being lifted off her and she nodded before she managed a barely whispered "Okay."

They left her broken apartment and he took her down to the street where Kunsel and Cloud were waiting.


	31. Chapter 26

_Hey guys thanks so much for reading and reviewing the last chapter. I'll get some replies to your reviews out shortly._

_songs for this chapter: (1) Cat Piano - Seabear (2) Flume – Bon Iver (3) My Life Without Me – Neverending White Lights (4) Hey Hey, My My – Battleme_

Chapter XXVI

Reno didn't immediately go to the door when he heard an expected knocking. Truth was, though the knocking was expected he wasn't really sure who it was. He'd called Rude about an hour earlier but there was a pretty good chance it was someone else so he didn't get up from the couch until he heard Rude's voice calling through the door. He set down the glass he was holding and pulled himself to a stand, dragging his feet to the door. He unlocked it and turned the doorknob, pulling the door open and turning away, heading back to the couch before Rude had even entered his place.

"You alright?" Rude asked, shutting the door behind him. He took in Reno's slightly dishevelled appearance. He was still wearing his suit pants and shirt, though his shirt was half-unbuttoned, untucked and rolled at the sleeves. "I called and texted probably a hundred times."

"Sure, great," Reno said without looking at him. He picked up a lit cigarette that had been sitting in the ashtray on the coffee table. Rude approached the table, picking up a whiskey bottle Reno had in front of him. "You want a drink?" Reno asked.

"Not sure you have anything to offer," Rude countered, tipping the bottle in his hand. "You drink all this tonight?"

"Who are you, my sponsor?" Reno retorted.

Rude set the bottle down and sat next to him on the couch. "What's going on? Did you get my message earlier, about Fair?" he asked.

Reno nodded and chuckled softly to himself. "I'm in it big time, partner."

Rude exhaled heavily. "So, you were there then?" he questioned somewhat rhetorically.

"I was with Strife when your text came in," Reno explained slowly. "Just so happened we were on location with Fair."

"Were they caught?" Rude fired at him fast.

"I don't know. I—I" Reno started to say but stopped, shaking his head before resting it in his hands.

"What'd you do?" his partner spoke hesitantly.

"I gave them my car," Reno revealed finally.

"Reno," Rude said with a groan.

"It was fucking stupid, you don't have to say anything," Reno shot at him before grabbing the near empty whiskey bottle from the table. He poured what was left into the glass in front of him, barely a shot.

Rude was silent a moment. "What were you thinking?" he asked then and Reno scoffed.

"Fucking Strife," he muttered. "I was just there to talk to Fair."

"On the plate?" Rude questioned in slight confusion.

"Their shitty apartment. Fair took off and Strife wanted me to drive him up to the plate, to follow him. Said Fair was going to kill someone or some shit. And then your...your message came in and I saw them coming for Fair and Strife's fucking begging me to help like some sad fucking child. I just—" he stopped to take a breath and a drag of his cigarette. "What does it matter," he said then, shaking his head. "I'm screwed."

"Why were you at their apartment?" Rude asked.

"I had to talk to Fair about something...something I just thought—" He stopped and stared at the table ahead of him. "What do I do, Rude?" he asked softly. "Should I hide, take off somewhere? What?"

"That would look really guilty, don't you think?" his partner pointed out. "Maybe they got away," he suggested.

"You think so? 'Cause I'd be fucking surprised," Reno said dully. Reno smirked then. "What?" Reno inquired sharply.

"You tried to help them," he said, his grin widening. Reno groaned loudly, burying his face in his hands and slouching back against the couch. Rude grew serious again. "You know what you need to do," he said.

"Shoot myself in the face?" Reno responded dejectedly.

"You have to report for your shift as usual. They can't prove you gave your car to them," Rude pointed out.

"How else would they have got it?" Reno argued. Rude didn't say anything to that. Reno leaned forward again after a moment. "Well, on the bright side, maybe I'll get to go _vacation _with Tseng for a while."

Rude looked down grimly in response to his comment. He left shortly after, telling Reno he'd be back to pick him up for their shift, which was less than five hours away. Rude had left specific instruction for Reno to sober himself up as much as possible and make sure he looked as he always did when he came in to work. Reno did as he was told and was dressed in fresh clothes by the time his partner returned to the apartment. Rude drove them to headquarters while he sat in the passenger seat and smoked one cigarette after another. Rude didn't bother to tell him not to as he normally would. He could tell Reno was beyond nervous.

"You need to relax. Stop looking so guilty," Rude advised.

"Thanks, tips," Reno said back without looking at him.

Neither of them had been contacted through the night with any news about the capture of Zack and Cloud. That didn't really mean they had gotten away. If it was suspected they'd been trying to help the targets escape, they were as good as criminals themselves. It was clear though when they entered HQ that something had happened. Dominic was rushing up to meet them like he'd been waiting for them for hours.

"What's going on?" Rude asked, pretending he and Reno had no idea.

"There was an attack last night," Dominic revealed, which actually was a surprise to Rude and Reno. They looked at each other before asking what he meant.

"Two teams on night shift last night were shot down by someone. A third team saw it but they were fine," Dominic explained in a somewhat hushed tone, glancing a few times to see if anyone was listening in.

"Shot down?" Reno repeated.

"Yeah, by a crossbow even," Dominic confirmed.

"Were they after someone?" Reno asked next and Dominic looked back at him a little hesitantly.

"Who shot them?" Rude asked after him, drawing Dominic's attention back.

"I dunno," Dominic replied. "I don't think they really got a good look at him.

"Was anyone else there?" Reno inquired next and Rude glared at him. His questions weren't making him look like he had no idea what was going on.

"Incoming," Dominic said as he looked past Reno.

"Reno," a voice he recognized spoke and he turned to see Elena approaching him with two other of the senior staff.

"Hey," Reno greeted. "Long time no see," he said casually.

She smiled a little. "I'm going to need you to come with me," she said in return. He glanced at Rude and Dominic before meeting her eyes again.

"What for?" he asked.

"We'll be discussing that shortly," she said. He shrugged a little and moved forward to follow her.

He was led to an "interview" room, which was only named as such to try and deflect the obvious fact it was for interrogation. Elena had gotten straight to the point, asking where his car was and a lie came to his mind quickly but he could tell no one was buying it. He found himself still sitting in that room more than three hours later and had been asked the same twenty questions repeatedly by different people. Elena never left but three others of the senior staff had taken turns asking their own variations of the same questions.

"Could you go over the events one more time?" the latest one asked and at that point he was beyond pretending to look innocent. He knew they didn't trust his words but couldn't prove they weren't true so they were waiting for him to crack and just admit the truth.

"I already told you this, like a million fucking times," he said back, tired, out of patience and just wishing they'd punish him already.

"Tell us one more time," the senior Turk spoke without looking at him as he wrote notes on some paper in front of him.

Reno sighed and leaned back in his chair. "When I finished my shift I drove to the store for some cigarettes. I left the car running when I went in to the store and when I came out again it was gone."

"Where was the store?" the Turk asked.

"Barton Street," Reno answered.

"The name of the store?"

"Hinks."

"The name of the clerk working?"

"No fucking clue."

"Why'd you leave the car running?"

"It was cold outside so I wanted it to stay warm. I was only going to be gone a minute."

"Were the doors unlocked?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you lock them when you went in the store?"

"Because if I didn't, I would have been locking the keys inside," Reno said with a cutting tone, unable to hide the fact he was getting angry. The Turk ignored his obvious frustration.

"Did you see who took the car?" he asked.

"No."

"Did you report the vehicle stolen?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I thought someone was playing a joke on me," Reno answered lamely.

The senior Turk looked up, meeting his eyes. "It's not a joke."

"Yeah I see that now," Reno fired back at him. "Look I've answered your questions. There's nothing else I can tell you," he said as he looked from Elena to the mirrored glass behind her, knowing there were listeners on the other side. "The least you can do is tell me why my car—which is mine by the way, not the company's, and now I'm out a fucking vehicle—being stolen is such a hot fucking topic for suspicion?" he shot at them. "Do you know who has it? Is that what's going on? Was it taken by some terrorist or some shit?"

There was a short silence as Elena looked at the senior Turk as if she was asking for permission to answer.

"You were assigned to a team tasked with locating highly sensitive missing property from the Shinra Mansion outside Nibelheim, correct?" the senior Turk asked.

"Yeah..." Reno replied.

"And you must know what that property is," the Turk added.

"Uh, yeah. My partner and I were assigned to the Mansion at one time, you know that," he pointed out.

"That's right, you had direct contact with his test subjects then. Along with your partner, and Tseng."

Reno had the feeling he was being accused of something because of that fact. "Yeah, and Elena," he said, looking at her. "Let me get this straight," he spoke again before anyone else could. "You think the escaped test subjects are involved in this?" He faked a pretty good look of incredulity as he asked "And you think I what? Gave them my car?" The senior Turk looked back at him blankly and Reno laughed aloud. "That's what this is about?" he questioned as though the thought were ridiculous. He leaned forward on the table again, getting serious. "You happen to ask anyone what my feelings towards the _test subjects _are?

"Why don't you enlighten us?" the senior Turk suggested as he leaned back and crossed his arms.

"Just believe me when I say nothing would make me happier than to be the one to return Shinra's _missing property_. The subjects were traitors to the company, no better than the garbage we clean up off the streets of Midgar on a daily basis. I think my record of getting shit done for this company unquestioningly in a prompt fucking manner would be a pretty good indication of where my loyalties lie."

The senior Turk and Elena looked back at Reno for a few moments before there was a knocking sound on the mirrored glass behind them.

"You can go," Elena said. "Wait for me in the rotunda," she added.

"About fucking time," Reno said as he pushed back his chair fast and left the room without any hesitation, basking in partial relief as he was heading down the hall. He took some slow breaths to steady himself, suddenly aware of how damp his shirt felt under his suit jacket from how much he'd sweat the past few hours. He checked his phone in the rotunda when he was waiting for Elena. He had a few text messages from Rude asking if he was out of interrogation yet. He didn't bother to answer. After a few minutes Elena appeared.

"Jesus Christ, Elena," he blurted out when she came toward him. "You seriously think I'm helping Fair and Strife?"

"We don't call them that," she corrected.

"Fine, the _test subjects_," he revised his words. "If I'm a suspect then fucking Hojo might as well be!" he claimed. "You know how I feel about Fa—" She gave him a scolding look. "Whatever," he said, rolling his eyes. "Why is this even an issue? Where's my car?"

"It's in Shinra custody," she answered.

"Well can I have it back?" he asked next.

"It's beyond repair," she said as she shook her head.

"Beyond repair," he repeated her words with genuine surprise. "What the fuck happened to it?"

"There was an incident. A collision," she explained and he stared back at her wide-eyed.

"Well did you fucking get them or not?" he inquired and she shook her head. "The test subjects were apprehended for only a few minutes. They had help from someone in getting away. As a result, two of our own are dead," she said.

"Well it wasn't me," he defended. "You have to believe that," he added.

She shook her head. "What I believe doesn't matter. You're suspended," she announced then to Reno's shock.

"What?" he blurted "Elena—"

"Without pay," she added.

"Oh, what the fuck!" he exclaimed.

"Shut it, Reno!" she nearly shouted. "You'll take this and you'll be happy with it. You're lucky."

"Lucky? How? Lucky I'm not being shipped off to wherever Tseng is?" he retorted. Elena looked away. "How could you let them do that to him, Elena?"

"It wasn't my choice," she said.

"Did you even stick up for him at all?" Reno accused.

"And how was I supposed to do that?" she shot back at him. "Tseng has had me in the dark for weeks. He's been hiding something and no matter how many times I asked he would not tell me what that was. I was left to come to my own conclusions. His behaviour is suspicious, Reno," she defended herself.

"Tseng loves the company," Reno argued. "More than any of us. He's not a traitor."

"We have evidence that suggests otherwise," she stated quietly and Reno just shook his head sadly. "Go home," she said then.

"For how long?" he asked.

"I'll let you know," she answered. "I'm sorry," she said and reached a hand out to touch his shoulder but he backed away before she could make contact, putting his hands in his pockets as he turned away from her.

He really couldn't be too angry. He'd gotten off far easier than he'd been expecting. Still, being suspended without pay for an unknown amount of time might as well have been termination from his job. At least something had come out of it. Fair and Strife went on to live another day free. It's what Tseng would have wanted anyway. He'd obviously chosen to protect them at his own expense.

"I know what you did," a voice said as he passed through the doors of the HQ building. He turned fast to see who had spoken and found the SOLDIER Kunsel looking at him from where he was leaning against the building.

"What do you know?" Reno asked in a cutting tone?

"You didn't get in trouble?" Kunsel asked instead of answering him.

"I'm suspended," Reno said simply before he turned away and started down the steps leading from the building.

"Got off easy then?" Kunsel followed after him.

"I just got out of a three and a half fucking hour interrogation about this goddamn annoyance so I really don't want to say anything more about it, especially to you," Reno said without looking at him.

Kunsel followed after him. When they were a good distance from the Headquarters he stopped Reno. "Why'd you do it?" he asked. "I thought you hated them," he stated. "Last time I saw you, you were throwing your fist into Cloud outside a bar."

Reno laughed dryly. "Score one for the fucking genius!" Reno exclaimed. "I _do _hate them. What I remember most fondly about working in the mansion was the look on Fair's face when Hojo would use Strife to get him to do what he wanted. Like he was watching a kitten being skinned alive in front of him. Hojo was smart that way. He only had to physically injure one of them to hurt them both. That helpless look on Fair's face and the way his whole body would cringe at the sound of Strife's screams was my favourite," he said firmly. He smiled then at the disgusted and shocked expression Kunsel had on his own face. The SOLDIER didn't follow him when he turned to leave again.

000

It was dark except for the dim green light filtering through the water from above the glass cylinders. It was cold, winter having set in. Old stone basements like that never stayed warm no matter how much heat you tried to pump into them. It was so quiet but in the walls were the screams that had been absorbed into the rock over time.

"You miss it?" a voice asked from behind him and he looked back to see who it was. There was someone in the doorway. The bright light from the hall outlined his silhouette but his face wasn't visible. He thought it was Zack at first, but it wasn't. He knew him though.

Cloud didn't say anything. He turned back around and found himself looking out over a city he recognized to be Midgar. It was far away and he wasn't sure where he was observing it from. He realized he was holding something in his hand. There was a chain wrapped around two of his fingers. He lifted his hand to eye level and opened his fist, letting the chain drop and hang. There was something attached to it, pieces of metal.

"I knew it," he whispered as he looked at it.

"Cloud," a voice spoke from what seemed far away. The city in front of him started to disappear. "Spikey," the voice spoke again. Everything he could see dissolved as he blinked a few times and looked up at the face above him. Zack. "I'll be back in a few minutes," Zack said. "I'm going to talk to Kunsel downstairs." Cloud looked around a little, the dream he'd been having already beginning to fade from his memory. "You alright?" Zack asked. "How's your head?"

"Fine," Cloud answered a little sleepily. Zack smiled.

"Rayna's still sleeping," he said as he disappeared from view. Cloud sat up then, moving his legs off of the couch where he'd spent the night. Zack and Rayna had slept in the bed for what was left of the night and most of the morning when they'd gotten back to the apartment. Given Zack's unpredictable behaviour in recent days, he wasn't that surprised Zack had taken them to see her but it definitely surprised him when Zack brought her with them back to the apartment. He remembered well what Zack's reaction had been when he'd brought a girl of his own home. Zack's reason was the same, she had nowhere else to go. And yet...whereas Addley had to go, Rayna was alright to stay.

He hadn't spoken to Rayna yet and he wasn't really planning to if he could help it. All he'd been able to think about on the way home the night before and all he could think about now was Blackjack and the feeling he had that Zack really hadn't wanted him to know anything about him. He pondered it some more as he showered.

000

"How are you and Cloud doing?" Kunsel asked Zack while they sat on the stairs outside.

"Fine," Zack said with a slight nod. "Can't really complain, given the alternative."

"You killed two Turks last night," Kunsel said then and Zack shook his head. "It wasn't me. Cloud and I were knocked out. The Turks had us. We had help," he revealed.

"From Reno?" Kunsel said.

"No, we only had his car," Zack answered. "Johnny Six shot the Turks." When he met Kunsel's eyes he could see the obvious confusion.

"The kid from the Academy? The one who was killed in Wutai?" he asked tentatively.

"Turns out he was never executed after all," Zack explained.

"But how—"

"Long story," Zack said, cutting him off. "Reno going down for it?" he asked them, part of him hoping he was. He really had a hard time being thankful for what Reno had done for them the night before.

"Not all of it," his friend announced. "He's suspended though. It's probably a good thing he can fake distain for you guys," he suggested.

"He's not faking," Zack argued. Kunsel didn't say anything. Reno's words earlier had been vile, he couldn't deny that and he was sure Reno had thought he'd pulled them off as sincere but he'd seen some things that made him doubt his words were the product of his true feelings. There had been a slight quiver in the Turk's voice, barely recognizable, and the hatred he was conveying verbally somehow became lost in his eyes.

"What's the deal with the girl?" Kunsel asked, changing the subject.

"She's a friend," Zack said with a shrug.

"I'm not blind," his friend countered.

"I'm not lying," Zack said fast.

"Don't do this to Aerith, Zack," Kunsel said.

"I'm not doing anything," he denied, shaking his head.

"That's bullshit, Zack!" Kunsel shot back at him and Zack got up off the stairs fast. "You care about that girl upstairs."

"Yeah, I do," Zack finally agreed.

"More than Aerith?" Kunsel asked and Zack looked at him hard.

"It's different," he said. "I can't be with Aerith right now, Kunsel," he said truthfully.

"Yes you can," Kunsel argued.

"I don't want to be," Zack shot back to his friend's surprise. Kunsel stood up then.

"Then you have to tell her that, Zack. She deserves the truth," he said sharply. "You can't just keep her strung along, thinking that you feel the same as she does."

"It's not that simple," Zack said.

"You have to at least talk to her. She should know about what's been going on."

Zack scoffed and moved past him to the stairs.

"I mean it, Zack, either she hears it from you, or someone else," Kunsel said from behind him and he stopped his ascent.

"It's not your business," Zack said with a hint of anger.

"She's my friend too," he said and Zack sighed.

"Fine," he said, leaving the stairs again and beginning to head away.

"Wait, I can take you," Kunsel suggested and he didn't fight it, moving toward his car instead.

Back in the apartment, Cloud left the bathroom after his shower to see Rayna sitting on the couch. She looked at him when he exited the bathroom.

"You're on my bed," he pointed out and she glanced down before smiling.

"Bedtime's over," she said as she flipped through some channels on the television. Cloud was immediately annoyed.

"What happened to your face?" he asked as he passed by the couch on the way to the fridge for some water.

"What happened to yours?" Rayna countered. When Cloud said nothing she asked where Zack was.

"Outside," was his short answer.

"No he's not, I checked," she argued. Again Cloud said nothing. "So, where'd he go?" she asked.

"How should I know?" he snapped. Rayna clicked the TV off and tossed the remote next to her, turning around on the couch to face him.

"You have a problem with me?" she questioned sharply and he closed the fridge door with some moderate force before looking at her.

"Why would I have a problem with you?" he began. Before she could answer he continued. "Just because you and the people you work with got Zack involved with something that could have gotten him hurt why would I have a problem?" She opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off. "And just because since spending time with you he's turned into someone I don't even know and he's putting shit into his body he doesn't need, why would I have a problem with you?"

She didn't try to respond to that before he scoffed and headed away from her into the bedroom where he slammed the door shut.

000

"Are you seriously gonna do this?" Kunsel asked as Zack was about to get out of his car, having a pretty good idea Zack was about to break up with Aerith.

"It's why you brought me isn't it?" Zack replied emotionlessly.

"Yeah but—" Kunsel looked at him in shock. "I assumed you'd come to your senses on the drive."

Zack sighed. "This is the right thing to do," he said quietly.

"It doesn't feel like it," Kunsel denied.

"She deserves better, Kunsel. I'm not right for her anymore," Zack explained.

"Then why did you go back to her?" Kunsel asked in annoyance.

"That was a mistake."

"Zack—" his friend started to argue and he stopped him.

"Look at me, Kunsel," he said fast. "I'm not the person I was. Look at all the fucking havoc that exists around me and Cloud. No one is safe around us." Kunsel still wasn't convinced. "Last night, the Turks who found us, they didn't care about anyone or anything that got in the way of getting to us. They totalled Reno's car to stop us, caused damage to the property belonging to I don't know how many other people. They don't care about collateral damage. What if it wasn't Cloud in that car with me, what if it was Aerith? What if she was hurt? What if she was killed? Or what if they captured her with us. Sent her to Hojo with us?"

Kunsel watched Zack sadly, seeing how painful it was for him to talk of such things. Tears running down his cheeks against his will.

"So this is about her safety?" Kunsel said. "Then you aren't worried about what happens to that girl you brought home. It's okay for her to be near you?" Zack averted his eyes and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "It's not all about keeping Aerith safe."

"No it's about me not being what she needs anymore. All I'll do is hurt her!" he exclaimed vehemently.

Kunsel gave up, defeated. He took his eyes off Zack and directed them at the church. "Go then," he said. "Go break her heart and leave her. You won't have to see what it does to her."

Those words really hurt Zack, but he didn't let it show in his face. He kept his expression neutral as he reached to open the car door. He paused though, having one last thing to say to Kunsel. "No," he said. "You will. You can comfort her like you did once before," he added, knowing how terrible those words were. Kunsel just scoffed, not looking at him as he shook his head. Zack got out of the car and headed into the church.

Aerith wasn't there so he decided to wait. He sat in silence at the front of the church, staring up at the sun that streamed in through the hole in the plate above and filtered through the stained glass windows. He kept his mind blank as he thought he'd lose his nerve if he thought about all the things he'd try to say to her, knowing she'd fight him on it. When she finally arrived she was clearly happy to see him. He stood up as she was coming down the centre aisle and didn't avoid her when she hugged him, though he didn't hug her back. She was saying something about how worried she'd been and how much she'd missed him and was still holding onto him when he said in an even tone "We can't do this anymore."

She stopped talking but continued to embrace him. He felt her body tense against his and the silence was deafening for a few moments.

"What?" she barely uttered next to his ear.

"I can't see you anymore," he clarified.

"What happened?" she whispered, a tremor making its way to her voice.

He remained neutral as he said "I don't want you to try and contact me." At those words she started to cry but she still held onto him, crying into his one shoulder. "Aerith," he said, reaching his one arm up to grasp her lightly and pull her away. She held onto him tightly. "Let go," he said softly.

"No," she said and continued to resist his light pull.

"Please," he asked, his throat tightening a moment as he felt like he wanted to cry as well. He pushed it down though.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked. Her one hand went to the back of his head, her fingers stroking his hair. "What happened? Whatever it is, I'll understand."

"Aerith, let go," he urged, trying more insistently to get out of her hold.

"Is-is this about what happened between Kunsel and I while you were gone?" she asked. The last time he'd left, that's what had been lingering between them. The impression he knew he'd given her then was that he wasn't ready to let go of that. That wasn't his reason now for what he was doing but maybe that's the excuse he'd be better to hide behind.

"Let go," he said more firmly, pulling out of her hold finally to see just how devastated she looked.

"Zack, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she cried harder. "It was a mistake. I don't know what I can do."

"There's nothing," Zack said back, trying not to meet her eyes. He really couldn't stand to see her cry.

"Please don't say that," she begged.

"I'm sorry," he apologised and tried to leave but she was quick to put herself in front of him.

"Tell me you don't love me anymore then!" she ordered. He looked at her straight.

"I can't do that," he replied, shaking his head.

"Because you still love me," she said, taking hold of his one hand, clutching it hopefully.

"Of course I do," he agreed.

His answer seemed to confuse her even more. She looked at him as if searching for the understanding before she began to sink to her knees on the floor, letting go of his hand slowly.

"Aerith," he uttered sadly as he watched her, unable to keep his own tears back knowing just how much pain he was causing her at that moment. She was crying quietly now in front of him. He knelt down after a moment and reached to take both of her hands in his. "Please stop crying," he begged.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked between sobs. "We were happy before. You don't know how hard I prayed you'd come back all the time you were gone. How many times I cried—"

"I know,"

"Then why did you come back?!"

"I don't know. But too much has happened, too much time—" he tried to explain. He could have given the excuse he gave Kunsel. It wasn't safe for her to be around him. That was truth, but not something that would keep her away.

"But you still love me," she pointed out.

"I won't ever stop loving you," he confessed.

"Then it doesn't matter. Nothing else matters—" she tried to argue and he began to panic, saying what he knew would get his point across.

"I've been sleeping with someone."

Aerith stared back at him, the words she'd been ready to speak dying in her throat right before him.

"But—" she started to say and he stopped her.

"I've done other terrible things. I killed four men," he admitted and she did seem a little shocked, but he could still see in her eyes that she wasn't going to give up.

"I don't—" she began and he stopped her again.

"Don't say you don't care. I killed them without conscience. They died brutally, violently," he explained.

"But you had to have a reason," she argued. "You're making this so much harder than it has to be! I don't understand why you're doing this!"

"I have to go now," was all he could say then as he stood up and turned away from her.

"Please!" she called after him. "Don't do this to us!" she tried one last time to dissuade him, but it was too late. He opened the door and left, managing to hold himself together just long enough to get to the side of the building, avoiding where he thought Kunsel might still be if he'd waited. He couldn't hold back his emotions at that point and collapsed where he sobbed, hating everything. Shinra. The world. Fate...and mostly himself.

He took his time getting back to the apartment. When he finally got back, he spotted Cloud on the stairs.

"Where'd you go?" his friend asked when he'd stopped in front of him.

"I had to, uh," he began softly, pausing to clear his throat that was clearly hoarse from crying. "There was something I had to do." Cloud studied his expression.

"Oh," he said, comprehending what it was Zack must have gone off to do. He found it truly surprising that he'd made the choice of Rayna over Aerith. "Are you sure about this?" he asked and Zack shook his head.

"I'm not sure about anything anymore," he said.

"Why'd you bring that girl here?" Cloud asked.

"I told you why," Zack replied simply.

"It wasn't a good excuse when I gave it," his friend muttered without looking at him. Zack had barely heard it but he was sure he knew what it was anyway. He was out of energy though and had had enough fighting for one day so he let Cloud have that one and stepped past him to get up the stairs.

"Don't stay out too long," he said softly as he passed.

When Zack had gone back inside the apartment Cloud got up and started walking. He really wasn't interested in being in the apartment with Zack and Rayna while they did whatever they did. He didn't want to witness any part of that relationship that didn't make sense to him. There was only one place he could think of going. He knocked on the door when he got to the church but there was no answer so he eased the door open slowly. When he entered he could see Aerith at the front of the church. Her back was too him. As he took a few steps forward one of the floorboards creaked and she turned.

"Cloud," she said his name with a slight gasp, clearly not expecting to see him. He stood still where he was.

"I knocked but—" he started to say.

"I was distracted," she said softly, standing up from where she'd been crouched at the flower bed. He walked towards her slowly. She looked just like Zack had when he'd come home. Drained of emotion and like she was weighed down by her sadness. She tried to smile though when she looked at him. "Is everything alright?" she asked. "Zack's not here if you're looking for him," she pointed out somewhat solemnly.

"No," he said. "I know."

She looked a little confused. "You're here to see me?" she asked and he nodded. "Why?" she asked softly.

"I don't know," he spoke truthfully, looking down. "I felt bad," he admitted.

"Why?" she asked with surprise. "It's not your fault," she pointed out. "It's no one's fault," she added as she shook her head.

"He doesn't know what he's doing," Cloud said slowly. "He's just...a little lost," he suggested. It was the only word he could think of to describe it.

She took his words in and smiled a little, wiping at her already red eyes that were starting to fill with tears again. "What do I do?" she asked.

Cloud shook his head. "I don't know," he admitted. "He'll be back," he said then.

"He said he was seeing someone," she said. "Is that true?" Cloud nodded reluctantly. "You think he loves her?" she asked with clear worry over what the answer would be.

"Not like you," he replied truthfully.

"Thank you," she said gratefully. "I'm glad you came," she added. "Could you stay for awhile?" she asked then. "Keep me company?" He nodded in agreement, not really wanting to be at home anyway at that point.

He spent the rest of the afternoon and some of the evening at the church, mostly just listening to Aerith talk of different things. She was such a good person it made it easy for him to see why Zack cared for her so deeply and why he didn't want to subject her to the darkness that was slowly creeping over Zack's spirit. When he checked his phone there was one message from Zack asking where he was. He answered back with _I'm fine_. Almost immediately Zack responded with _Did you go to the church?_ Zack wasn't stupid, that's for sure. When he replied that he was Zack unexpectedly answered with _Could you stay with her the night? Make sure she's alright?_

He said yes but he was already on his way from the church. He wasn't going to let the opportunity he had go to waste. There was something he needed to get off his mind. Something that led him back to the plate. Back to place he'd woken up with Zack after their encounter with the Turks. Back to the home of the mysterious Blackjack.

He knocked once on his door before taking a step back. He really didn't know what to say if Blackjack was actually there. After barely a minute he was regretting his decision and turned to leave. That's when he heard the door opening and he found Blackjack looking at him. All Cloud did was look at him. Blackjack stared back for a moment while Cloud was looking him up and down. He exhaled a little forcefully then and let go of the door to lean against the frame.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and there was something in his tone that had Cloud raising an eyebrow.

"Do you...know me?" Cloud questioned in return.

Blackjack looked down briefly. When he looked up once more he nodded. "Yeah," he confirmed. "Sure."

Cloud shook his head and smiled, not because he was happy but because he had confirmation of something he hadn't wanted to believe.

"I knew it," he said, mostly to himself. He looked up at Blackjack. "Zack has this thing, where he thinks I can't tell when he's lying to me, and I don't know that I can always tell when he is—I'm actually sure I don't know but this...it was pretty obvious. I—" He stopped suddenly, aware he was about to start rambling. "Can I ask...who are you? I—I mean, your name?"

"Johnny Six," he answered.

"Like the number," Cloud said without even thinking, the words falling from his mouth.

The man he could now call Johnny gave a small smile.

"Does Zack know you're here?" he asked and Cloud shook his head. "You want to come in?" he inquired next.

"Yeah," Cloud said with a nod. "I do."

With that, Johnny stepped back from the door, turning away to head inside as Cloud followed behind him.


	32. Another friggin' note

_Hey everyone, _

_Guess what? It's not a chapter. It's a note. So maybe some of you should review this and tell me how I shouldn't be posting notes as updates because it's not a chapter. Or just don't bother because I'm not going to reply anyway.  
_

_I'm happy to inform you guys that the author who was the subject of my previous note and I have started to work things out between us, which I'm very grateful for. I didn't want there to be any resentment between us. However, in a PM that was sent to me yesterday that I only just read today, I was accused of something by someone that is inexcusable and quite frankly sickens me. So much so that I am done. I will not update to this site anymore. I'm not sure I'll ever update these stories again and I hate that. Because I'm breaking a promise I made that I would not abandon these stories. But in my heart I can't stand what I was just accused of and I'm livid. _

_I want to be very clear that it was not the author in the subject of my previous note who gave this accusation, so do not question her about it. She has agreed to make amends with me for the unfortunately situation that has unfolded regarding our stories and that decision should be respected. This was someone else and they know who they are and there was no excuse for it.  
_

_I know I'm letting many of you down. I'm sorry for that, but frankly, I feel so deeply offended that I just want to get the fuck away from here. _

_I'll let you know if I decide to finish the stories on another site. One of you has suggested one to me and I may explore that but right now I just need a break. I think I'll focus on my own original fiction for awhile because in all honesty, too much stress seems wasted on stories that will never go anywhere outside of fandom. _

_I'm truly sorry for this. _


	33. Yay a note! Flame me about it!

_Hey everyone, _

_Guess what? It's not a chapter. It's a note. So maybe some of you should review this and tell me how I shouldn't be posting notes as updates because it's not a chapter. Or just don't bother because I'm not going to reply anyway.  
_

_I'm happy to inform you guys that the author who was the subject of my previous note and I have started to work things out between us, which I'm very grateful for. I didn't want there to be any resentment between us. However, in a PM that was sent to me yesterday that I only just read today, I was accused of something by someone that is inexcusable and quite frankly sickens me. So much so that I am done. I will not update to this site anymore. I'm not sure I'll ever update these stories again and I hate that. Because I'm breaking a promise I made that I would not abandon these stories. But in my heart I can't stand what I was just accused of and I'm livid. _

_I want to be very clear that it was not the author in the subject of my previous note who gave this accusation, so do not question her about it. She has agreed to make amends with me for the unfortunately situation that has unfolded regarding our stories and that decision should be respected. This was someone else and they know who they are and there was no excuse for it.  
_

_I know I'm letting many of you down. I'm sorry for that, but frankly, I feel so deeply offended that I just want to get the fuck away from here. _

_I'll let you know if I decide to finish the stories on another site. One of you has suggested one to me and I may explore that but right now I just need a break. I think I'll focus on my own original fiction for awhile because in all honesty, too much stress seems wasted on stories that will never go anywhere outside of fandom. _

_I'm truly sorry for this. _


End file.
